Adventures in Equestria.

I awoke like I normally did as my fires began to die because I grew cold. So like normal I got up, grabbed my axe, and threw wood on all the fires. I knew I was burning through tons of the stuff but I felt it was worth it. If nothing else the fires were keeping me warm and making a lot of soot which I had started using with a mud plaster mixture to coat the wood walls.

It was at this point that I began to hear the sounds of wings and soft padding steps. Taking a deep breath I switched to my crossbow and walked up to my ramp to my wall. I knew I was getting paranoid because every once in a while I would hear the sounds above me or around me and nothing would be there. So like any other time I tried to calm myself down and rationalize it out. Admittedly though a night attack was a good choice; they had worked hundreds of times in our world so why not here. However, trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest I looked into the field surrounding Edoras.

“HOLY MOTHER OF GOD”, I screamed. In front of me was an army of Ponies, all in dark blue and black armor carrying spears that glistened in the moonlight. Loosing a bolt at one who was less than 20 yards from the wall. I began yelling as I reloaded and fired again. The ponies though not giving up charged my wall and let off a mighty whinny. It sounded like I was being charged by hundreds which I was but it was horrifying. Just a minute ago I had been sleeping and I was not fully awake yet for this shit. I was shaking in terror from this nightmare.

To make things worse pegasi began to land in the courtyard, fanning our like soldiers from a Huey. Pivoting at the sight of this I dropped the crossbow and hefted my axe. Giving my own yell back I charged the intruders in the courtyard. While they were ready for me they weren’t ready for my reach. My axe came down on the wing of one of them, I didn’t cut it off but I certainly broke the bones. The axe wasn’t what you'd call a cutting tool, it was a woodcutting axe so a halberd or a pointy sledge was more appropriate. The Pegasi dropped hollowing in pain as the other guards charged me. Swinging like a mad man I kept them at a distance. Whenever one of them got too close I'd slam my axe into it. More than once I broke front hooves and snapped shoulders. I even was able to hit one so hard in the chest that it flew into another one. Their spears snapped like twigs from my parries and riposte, their armor crumbled like foil.

My own wounds began to accumulate though. As I swung I felt my stitches tearing and the pain grew worse and worse. Occasionally a thrust would catch me in the arm or leg, the ones on my chest thankfully were absorbed by my ork cuirass. I didn’t have a choice though so I kept fighting. I eventually forced the last 2 pegasi to route and flee from my courtyard.

Like a video game, it was at this point that the gates blew open. Charging in were dozens of horses and unicorns. Some loosed bolts at me but either they couldn’t see or they sucked at shooting cause they all missed. Regardless the unicorns were more effective and began to pepper me with rocks. And these fucking hurt, one hit me in the head and slashed my scalp and I staggered. Not knowing what else to do I charged again. However, these ponies were tight and in a dense formation probably realizing I had clubbed their friends that were laying around with my reach. Not being able to get to them because every time I snapped a spear another took its place and still having rocks rain on me I began to be pushed back. Slamming my axe into whatever I could reach I clubbed one maybe two but the ponies were organized and pushed me back. Spears working in sync thrust and step forwards, thrust, and step forwards. I wasn’t being pushed back slightly; I was on the full retreat before I knew it.

I broke from the front only to find myself outflanked on both sides by more of the damned things. Growling in rage I tried to push through one of the thinner parts only to be rewarded with a spear in the calf and the arm. Blood began to flow out of me as I hit the ground. Desperately trying to swing my axe one-handed as the ponies tackled me. I was in the middle of hooves and armor. Pushing and cursing as I felt them pin me to the ground. I thrashed and even tried to bite one. Freeing one hand I pulled my sword only to have my hand smashed into the ground with a horseshoe.

Laying there bleeding I continued to curse the damn ponies. How in the hell did they fight, how did they put armor on, how did they stay so organized. They had to be smart and not just animal smart but people smart.

Drifting in and out of consciousness as the blood drained from my wounds a tall dark Mare came up. The guards moved out of her way opening a hole for her to approach. She was just like the soldiers clad in blue and black, but unlike them, her fur matched it. The fur was a midnight blue, and her main matched as it waved and sparkled like a shadow over me. Emblazoned on her chest was a crescent moon. As it grew closer it looked down at me as if with pity before I finally passed out.