What am I doing?

Those four words kept bouncing off the walls of my head as if expecting some kind of answer but the only thing that came as a response is the burning in my throat, the stillness of my body, and the grip I had around a cup.

"What am I doing?" I said loudly into the clean polished oak wood.

"Do you expect an answer?" A gruff voice spoke close but not visibly shown, though to be fair my head is on the counter so I can't really see anything.

"Oh right, drinking!" I slurred while having a small bubbly laugh, I pulled myself upward with a little bit of lost balance but I totally nailed it.

"So fill fer up" I slammed my cup but due to the knockback force I almost fell out of my chair but thanks to my quick thinking I brought the stool with me, heh, good job me. As soon as I started to put up the chair back the gruff voice spoke again but this time with a body to boot!

"You just blacked out and you still want to drink more? I'd say the safer option is to go home." The pony that came with the gruff voice was pouring the drink while speaking. He had a white shirt with a black vest over it and had a black bowtie to boot with the familiar appearance of a waiter but with the twist of short sleeves and a gray coat underneath all of it and y'know, a pony.

"Hah," I laughed while getting back up the stool but with some bitterness. "no home, no home to go." I sat on the cushion and put my hooves on both sides of the cup to hold it steady and looked into the liquid with some sadness. The only thing that it had was my own reflection but even then it wasn't my own, this thing, this body was not me. I mean it is but...it's not the one I had before, where I made all the mistakes, the heartbreaks, the pain I caused, the one that held all my dreams and nights thinking about what I was going to do or what to do, plans of recovering my horrible deeds and do great things! I lifted my drink, "Down the hatch, I guess"...all gone now, maybe for the better.

"We- erm, I'm sorry to bother but is this seat taken?" A feminine but soft voice spoke behind me but I gave it no attention but a response, "Nah" Then? I drank and soon I felt more better, I think anyways.

There was a noise, small clip-clops then a small almost unnoticeable sigh of relief but it was noticed, I heard it but then again why care? She's probably just anxious about drinking, "Bartender, could you get me some water?

"Sure thing" the stallion in penguin form said while turning back to fill a cup. The new pony then turned to me, "I'm sorry to have eavesdrop, but you said you had no home?"

"Yeah, no home" I looked endlessly at the drink for a little while before I gulped most of it.

"That must be very sad and forgive me, but surely you have some relatives or family members with you, right?"

I chuckled a bit before I spoke but I don't know why, it was mostly hollow of any real humor or emotion "no, no family, just me".

"You sure you wanna be telling her that? She could be here to kill drunks." The bartender, only now coming back to check on my drink and put down the strangers spoke.

She moved her attention to him and seemed calm for such an accusation and by her face she seemed to take no offense to it. "I can see why you'd think that but I'm merely trying to learn more about him".

I looked at the bartender, "Heh no problem, I don't care for dying now." I said in my defense

"Whatever you say" The bartender replied while turning to move across the counter to serve some other drunk with some unease and I kept my gaze on the bartender but I saw a flicker of light at the corner of my left eye.

The other new mare however didn't seem so unfazed by the words.

"So you really don't care if you would die now? If you were suddenly to die now? That wouldn't have mattered to you? No regrets?" She spoke curiously but with no real worried tone just simply prodding with questions for some reason she seemed somewhat, fascinated?

I turn to her but didn't find any reason for the flash, maybe a trick of the lights. "Heh Nah, I came to drink my problems, either I die from drinking too much or not drinking enough."

The mare looked at me as if trying to wage my bluff but I stood there looking back with a pretty plain look.

"I can see you're serious, so why not drink this," she said while sliding a mug of what looked like water with her hooves to me.

I looked at it for a bit, the substance looked like water but could be entirely something different but hey if it kills me then it kills me, "Works for me" I pulled up the mug, I've been stuck in this world and a lot of what I see isn't anything I've seen before and what I do recognize is something completely different so, why not assume that'll kill me, but I stopped for a second to raise my eyebrow and looked at her, "Will this kill me instantly or slowly?" She laughed but signaled me to drink but I guess I found it a little funny too, and she stopped to look at me deeply before smirking.

"Why don't you find out?"

Now looking at her face to face her eyes showed the most beautiful deep blue and purple with infinite depth and wisdom, I heard the saying that the eyes were the gateway to a soul and I never really gave it a second thought but, right here? At this moment? I felt like there were decades of time and love and peace with those eyes, sorrow but beauty held no restraints.

I shook my head to get rid of this moment and just shrugged and chugged it down, beggars can't be choosers, and I was begging for death.

Then my vision cleared up and my mind was actually working at the moment and I actually realized who I was talking to, light blue fur with a dark purple mane, and in all honestly she was kinda cut- No, I close my eyes for a bit then opened them for a bit to get another look and she had a smile on her and it was sorta..nice but I immediately closed them when a blaring pain that came into my head like multiple small pinpricks were jamming their existence into my head and I tried to shut them out but it came to no use, I guess I'm turning sober, wait-FUCK, DAMNIT RANDOM STRANGER.

"You know if you wanted to be morally right about raping then you should've at least ASKED" What I said was probably dripping of sarcasm, that and pain.

I heard a giggle from her and I probably would've thought it was kind of cute IF I WASN'T HAVING A SPLITTING HEADACHE.

"You will be completely fine soon enough, the hangover should end very soon."

"You know UGH you know this would b-AGH pretty funny if you were all dogs because then you'd-FUCK, have a proper title of being a BITCH" escalated to pinpricks to a train ramming itself into my skull.

ThAT BITCH. GIGGLED. That was supposed to be an INSULT.

And then all at once, it stopped, It felt nauseating.

"Oh I see it's stopped, now we can talk properly," that BITCH was so smug about her results to the drink.

I wobbled but I stood on my fours to give that bitch a punch or hoof or WHATEVER

"Walk properly too, Let's move this conversation outside." She walked to the front entrance with the double doors and walked out.

AND SHE'S LEAVING? TRYING TO ORDER ME AROUND?

"GET THE F- Oh, oh god" The nauseating feeling REALLY kicked into high gear now and that was the only thing that could really control me, the bad thing is the bathroom was too far for my state and I can't exactly throw up in the bar so the only chance was...was, I looked where the mare trotted, the front entrance to the bar, well fuck, might as well kill two birds with one stone.

I wobbled and trotted over to the entrance outside immediately found a snow-covered bush and unloaded my stomach and of course, a nauseating familiar feminine giggle could be heard and if wasn't throwing up I'd probably gag because of it by now.

"We've seen this potion at work many times ere, stranger but never this fast and this extreme, pray to tell, is this due to your diet? Or some other effect at work?" the previous female bartender spoke

THAT DOES IT, I AM GONNA GIVE THAT WOMAN A PIECE OF MY MIND.

I threw up, a lot "BLAgh, hah, Blegh, listen, lady, next time you make SOMEONE GET SOBER OUT OF THE BLUE ATLEAST ASK FIRST"

"Someone? So the magic repulse was right."

"I- What?" I turned around to see her with a smug expression

She started to trot over to me with a serious face staring me down, "We had a magical disturbance appear a two weeks ago thus a dimensional gateway opened to bleed some cretin as well and due to our connections we could isolate chaos and magical relics and follow down to the most possible conclusion and scour through location after location, now the question isn't where are thou, tis what, what do you plan to do to our ponies?"

"What? OH, What?, Did you expect to find your knight in shining armor?"

She pushed me into the wall with her blue highlighter magic so immediate alarms saying I said something wrong and now scared for my life and with a bonus of 'you're fucked' by staring deep into my eyes.

"OK! OKAY! I GET IT NO JOKES NO JOKES" My heart was racing.

"We thought thou said thou wanted to die but we find that hard to believe with thou being so frantic"

"Well to be fair you're a woman that just slammed me into a wall so if anything you should at least take me on a date first before trying to force me onto my death bed"

BAD BRAIN BAD BRAIN She pushed me harder into the wall

"SORRY SORRY, IT'S A DEFENSIVE MECHANISM"

"Tell us how thou has crossed dimensions and thy nefarious plans otherwise we plan to gift thy another splitting headache but rather more discomforting and permanent"

"ALRIGHT RELAX, we can talk about this in a steadier approach, right? We can act civilized?" She looked deep into my eyes then relaxed her grip then her magic dissipated and I fell down on my fours like an idiot with immediate pain and imbalance.

"Agh fuck, nice greeting, do you threaten all your existential life forms, or do you just like me?" I spoke with some discomfort and sarcasm.

"Speak and we won't have to show thou" she starts to light her horn which I take as an immediate SHUT UP ERIC.

"OKAY OKAY, so to answer your questions one, I'm too much of a wuss to off myself quickly, that's why I drink, two, I don't know how I got here, I sorta slept and woke up here, uninteresting and vague I know, three, my only plan here is to drink, I have no plans to take over the world or whatever so please just don't make me throw up again, I kinda wanna keep my lunch or what's left of it anyway."

Her horn glowed a bit but then dissipated, "... you're telling the truth, it's strange we-" she looked like she was beating herself inside for a split second before regaining her stoic look, "I never thought you'd look like a pony."

"This wasn't my original form, I was actually an ape, but more evolved I guess?."

Well that took her for a bit of a loop if her being stunned was anything to go by "Huh, that's, quite hard to understand within the realm of imagination"

"Yeah, listen since I'm assuming you found me and all that you're part of a government and all could you make sure I don't get sought after? Like some kind of pardon or secret cover-up?"

"That can be arranged." She was taken for a pause, probably from the pace of our conversation and how I was avoiding yknow violence.

"Thanks, don't worry I imagine I'll disappear into the crowd and die off silently so don't worry about me doing anything."

I trotted away now with being sober I guess I just keep walking until I find work. But that annoying voice called out to me and made me stop.

"Strange gentle stallion, what is your name"

"It's Eric, yours?"

"Tis Luna"

"Huh, neat" I began to continue walking away but clearly she had other intentions if the flash of light in front of me with her popping up told me anything.

"Eric, I'm sorry for the rude introduction but I have a few more questions."

"I mean you did just threaten me and drugged me somehow and also very well harassed me but suuuure, but seriously sure, I'd be scared of a random alien invading my kingdom too so I sorta understand."

"Thou seemed so serious about thy own death, why is that so?" Her tone and expression showed genuine curiosity and intrigued by what seemed so obvious to me.

"Heh" I actually chuckled a bit, it obviously seemed so obvious to me since I was the one dealing with it, I had completely forgotten what it was like to be the one looking on the outside, I wondered how helpless and out of touch I really was with reality, "I've uh, made some mistakes, more than I'd like to recall and less than I can actually fix, I feel, helpless with it, I feel like the problems and troubles I've brought and caused sorta," I took a second, I looked at her eyes and somehow they conveyed a feeling of empathy, longing, and maybe even compassion? I was at a loss for words after I saw her eyes and seemed so attentive and patient with me, I realized I was holding my breath and just sighed as my body sagged, feeling my body truly live in the moment. "I'm a lost cause really, I've done too little and wasted so much and I feel like the scale is tipped, what I've done and can do are at odds and there's no way I can truly put more weight of good I can do or even balance it, I feel lost, there's no more worth to my heavy soul and I hope I can at least atone to some sins before I regress and become less than who I was. I feel like being here is a curse that I deserve, some glimpse of what a world could be with real good and love, a show to what my hollow soul can't, even in the smallest fraction, equate to." I looked back at her and only found empathy, I realized how much I monologued. "A pretty big rant for a simple question huh? I guess I'm kind of overdramatic."

She shook her head but somehow in her eyes she understood or at least that's what it felt like "Mmm, maybe so but we can not say we are any less different" I turned to her to see some kind of glimmer of light on her, she bathed in the moonlight as if some kind of beacon of hope, but I wouldn't go as far to say that, just convenient timing, especially for someone like me that's scraping at the bottom of the barrel at this point with hope.

"Glad to be part of a club, was that the only question?" I spoke with an unamused expression with some kind of sarcasm I could spit out, but I was overall too tired to keep up the energy she was putting down now.

"No, but we think it would be better to have more over at the castle as we would be able to beseech thee for more answers, that is if thou has no abode to betake oneself "

I pause for a bit to weigh my options, go with a complete strange horse that has been tracking me for months, or walk away free and just blends in with the crowd, "while very intriguing I would like to be at my own home before I'm brought to bed by a mare such as yourself" while yes very tired I am now able to come with some wit, good job me.

"Does thou have such a fear of being overpowered by a much more fearsome partner hm? We surely would have thought that an alien such as thee would have much more tenacity rather than that of a foal to a challenge"

Oh, she did not just call you a wuss, if she wants to call me out why don't I give her a bit of her own medicine! "While flattered WE are of the proposition you hold I- we clearly are not worthy of such honor"

"Thy words wound our heart, we truly bleed"

Oh yeah, Eric 1 horse 0 "Shows you" man if there was any point to be smug about beating a horse it would be now.

"Tis true, our heart aches for the fact you haven't realized we know you do not have a place to call thy abode" she smile that shit-eating grin that was sorta kinda cute but I would never admit kind of way.

"Well-I, fuck, how'd you know?" I fully gave in, I really couldn't keep my energy going for much longer and less of a fight means being closer to a warm, nice, cozy bed.

"If thee would remember we have stated such a search for thy location, we have known for a while from afar but with thee being so close to civilians we were met with an ultimatum, also you have stated such when we met"

"I don't remember anything from earlier since y'know just becoming sober and all, still fuzzy"

I barely just registered the first part fully, they've been stalking me? "you were stalking me?"

"Precisely!" She seemed a little too giddy at the accusation, was I first? Oh god, I shivered at the idea that I had to ask or the fact that she was not deterred at the question.

I sighed, let me rephrase that, I took a very long life taking sigh that probably made sure I wasn't going to make it to my forties, if I was still 23. "So, what now? I take a golden chariot to the doors of heaven and get judged by my good deeds and sins?"

"Thy overdramatic, the chariot was not called in yet so It may take a while before you are taken off your hooves, although I will admit I thought tis the stallion's job for something so romantic"

"Pah, if you recall a certain 'Luna' was making me throw up my insides not any later than 10 minutes ago"

"In our defense, we did not expect for thee to have so much inside" She raised her head high with her nose in the air out of disgust or distance to hide her obvious avoidance of actual responsibility.

"Thanks that makes me feel sooooo much better" I rolled my eyes and gave the most sarcastic tone I could give to really sell the act I appreciated the concern. There was somewhat of a pause before I spoke up again "Well since we'll be a while, wanna grab a drink?" While everything was very bizarre and odd, I thought, what better way to forget this all by drinking!

"We would usually not take the chance but since we are waiting and thy truly no concern for a threat, we will appreciate the offer and rejoice" she seemed to have relaxed and let herself go for a bit but I wasn't about to let that sly comment go by unnoticed.

"No concern of a threat huh? Is that a fact?" I raised my eyebrow at her, I was smirking, this horse didn't know what she was dealing with.

"Tis true, after such weak hooves to handle such companionship" there her shit-eating grin, was back but ten times wider and more bait.

Oh, that bitch really did it now, "well then how about we handle this with a drinking competition, first to drink more before the ride comes wins and doesn't have to pay for drinks" I smirked, that little horse body wouldn't be able to handle anything, especially with such a nice figure.

"Ho-ho! Thou truly are a stallion after all! Our battle will be legendary!" She was surprisingly giddy, filled with determination and fire in her eyes like never before and I was the one willing to put out that fire.

"Bring it" I responded tenfold of the strength and will she had in her eyes and she took the bait! I get some free drinks and make her look like an idiot!

Author's Note

Originally meant to be a one shot but SOMEONE HAD TO MAKE ME HAPPY IN THE MOMENT AND MAKE ME WANNA WRITE MORE OF THIS STORY >:(