Chapters It had been roughly a month, since Tirek's defeat by Princess Twilight Sparkle, and Ponyville had return to something bordering on normal. After the events of Tirek's attack, some ponies had moved closer to family, or away from Princess Twilight, who had a danger magnet firmly affixed to her flank, it seemed. This had made finding a house significantly easier, for Mr. Blue.
"That's all the boxes moved in," the head moving pony said to him. "The guys with your tools and equipment, should be here early tomorrow." Mr. Blue nodded.
"Thank you, can I offer you a drink before you go?" The moving ponies politely declined, meaning they said no far too quickly and left. Mr. Blue checked his watch and looked at the sun, estimating the sunset and then looking at the Castle of Friendship, thoughtfully.
He dropped down almost noiselessly, into the second darkest shadow of the map room, only a fool would use the darkest, Princess Twilight reading a scroll. Mr. Blue stepped out of the shadow and bowed.
"Your highness." She managed to hide her surprise well, but had the same momentary change in expression as Princess Luna did, the first few times a Gentlecolt had appeared to her.
"You would be the pony, Princess Celestia mentioned in her letter yesterday." Princess Twilight's tone was flat, and slightly annoyed, as she looked straight ahead.
"Yes your highness, I am to be the first of your Gentlecolt's."
"And what precisely does that mean?" she asked, still not looking round at him.
"I will gather information on ponies, and will act as your covert bodyguard, when necessary."
"You mean spy... I'm the Princess of Friendship, friends don't spy on each other," she replied, her annoyance far more noticeable.
"I seem to remember reading something, about you having a Pith helmet to spy." He smiled, mischievously.
"You know what I mean." She turned her head towards him, Mr. Blue nodded his head. "I am perfectly capable of protecting myself, and if I can't do it on my own, my friends will always be with me." Mr. Blue could sense, where this was going. "I'm afraid you'll just have to go back to Canterlot, and tell Princess Celestia, I do not need you."
"I'm afraid, as it was Princess Celestia herself who gave me the order, you cannot supersede it," he lied, Princess Twilight could order him away, but she had to have Gentlecolt's. "I will return tomorrow at the same time." He bowed and left, the way he had arrived.
After his equipment had arrived the next morning, Mr. Blue went to the market, partly to learn the town, and partly to get breakfast. He had arrived too late the previous day, and the sandwich he had made for the previous days lunch, was long gone now.
"Hi!" Pinkie Pie screamed, appearing out of what would be assumed was nowhere, but was in fact Sugar Cube Corner's front door.
"Good morning," he smiled.
Pinkie's next sentences were spoken at a speed, most ponies couldn't even comprehend, Mr. Blue only got the basic ideas. It's nice to meet you, wow is your cutie mark about wood carving, I should throw you a party, oh I can't, nice to meet you again.
"Oh, I'm Pinkie Pie by the way." Mr. Blue introduced himself by his real name, and Pinkie bounced off.
That evening, he had to wait for Fluttershy and Applejack to leave, before dropping down again. Princess Twilight, organising the scrolls and books, she had been using that day.
"Mr. Blue," she said in greeting.
"Your highness." He bowed.
"I have a few questions, about what I may and may not, ask you to do, etc." He nodded, trotting up to stand next to Princess Twilight.
"I will do my best to answer."
"Are you going to be spying, on the ponies of ponyville?" This question, seemed to be one Princess Twilight had been concerned about, greatly.
"No more than rumor and gossip, unless you order me otherwise." He thought for a moment. "Something that may help you, is to treat my information gathering, like one of the books in your library." Princess Twilight raised an eyebrow. "If you were meeting a foreign dignitary, you would read up on their race, culture, homeland, etc, that's what I can get you, about anything."
"That seems less intrusive." She nodded. "Speaking of books, I couldn't find information on the Gentlecolt's anywhere." Mr. Blue nodded.
"We do our best to keep it that way." He cleared his throat. "We were established roughly four hundred years ago. When a group of valets came to Princess Celestia, to inform her that their masters planned to undermine her authority. Something about not liking a mare ruling, despite her having ruled for six hundred plus years at that point." Princess Twilight's eye roll was enough to know, she had encountered something similar. "This gave Princess Celestia the idea, to form a group who would have civilian jobs and watch for danger. Over the years our roll has changed, we have a group who are permanently at the palace, and our civilian jobs are more of a useful cover." Princess Twilight thought for a moment, then became very serious.
"Have you ever killed any creature?"
"No your highness, all Gentlecolt's are trained in elimination, but the last time a Gentlecolt eliminated any creature, was over a century ago." She wasn't as relieved as he had hoped by this.
"That's good to know, I assume you prefer capture for questioning?" Mr. Blue nodded. "I don't expect to need you very often, I do however want to test your abilities." She attempted to sound more regal.
"Of course." He bowed his head.
"There is a society pony who revels in coursing me trouble at official events, I would like you to find me some information about her. Nothing malicious, but something I can keep in mind when she starts." After Princess Twilight had given him a description, he knew who she was referring to.
The next day he took the train to Canterlot and started his observation. The society pony was a mare who had married into her money, as such was entitled, arrogant, self-centered and generally unpleasant to anyone she saw as beneath her.
On the first day, she went to collect her new dress from an expensive boutique, met two other society ponies, who invited her to lunch, where she had a small salad, went shoe shopping and spent the evening at home. The second day, she didn't leave the mansion until lunch, meeting a friend and ordering two double cheese hayburgers, and a large dessert. That evening her and her husband, went to another society couples mansion for a meal, where she barely ate. On the third day, she didn't leave her mansion, but did have lunch with her husband and another pony, where she only had a light salad.
Princess Twilight wasn't surprised by the report, the information that she gorged herself, when she didn't think other society ponies were around, would be just the thing to keep Twilight calm, the next time they met.
The opportunity to use the information came soon after, with Princess Twilight being invited to attend a function at the Palace.
When she arrived in Canterlot, Mr. Blue was waiting with a carriage for her at the train station, the two ponies pulling it, hired for the evening. After Mr. Blue had helped her into the carriage, he drove up to the Palace, the two ponies pulling coming to a gliding halt.
Once the carriage was parked with the others near the Palace, Mr. Blue used the secret passages to reach the ballroom. When he arrived, another Gentlecolt was waiting with his change of clothes, a smart suit rather than the Waiter uniform he'd expected. He slipped seamlessly into the guests, Princess Twilight noticing him, and doing her best not to. It was like when you see something about to fall, you can't help but keep looking at it, even if you try not to. He was gratified, when he saw the Princess talking to the society mare, and barely reacting to her. The other guests with Princess Twilight, giving the mare funny looks, as she tried to get a rise from her.
It was roughly half an hour later, that Princess Twilight suddenly started heading to the door, clearly distressed. Mr. Blue went back through the secret passages, and drove the carriage round to collect her, almost flawlessly in his timing.
"Where to, your highness?" Mr. Blue asked, the carriage ponies already moving.
"The Waldhoof hotel," she said, shakily.
Once they arrived at the hotel, Princess Twilight leapt out of the carriage, thanking them as she ran inside. The carriage ponies took the carriage back, as Mr. Blue found somewhere out of the way, and teleported to the roof of the building opposite, watching as the Princess hugged two of her friends.
The next evening, he dropped down into the shadows of the map room, Princess Twilight greeting him in the now established way, using his code name.
"Thank you again for last night, I had said some things to Rainbow dash and Applejack, that I realised were hurtful, when I didn't mean for them to be." She sounded a little ashamed.
"Not a problem, your highness." Mr. Blue bowed and smiled.
It was about a fortnight until Hearth's warming, and Princess Twilight was trotting through Ponyville, to Mr. Blue's House. Even though she was a princess of Equestria, the barer of the Element of magic, a student of Princess Celestia herself, and Mr. Blue's loyalty to her was only superseded by Celestia, she was nervous about what she wanted to ask him. Earlier that week she had been visiting the foals ward at the hospital, and had noticed some of their toys were rather old and beaten up. She wanted to ask Mr. Blue if he would repair or replace some of them, wood working being his job when he wasn't working for Twilight, but she was worried her asking would seem like an order not an inquiry. When she got close to his house, she heard him working in the large shed behind the house, he'd made into a workshop. She trot round and knocked politely, on the open upper half of the door.
"Good afternoon your highness." He bowed slightly.
"There's no need for that." She used his real name, meaning it was a casual visit.
"Certainly, Miss. Twilight." He opened the bottom of the door, and gestured to the small red painted bench, he had for guests. Twilight sat down and watched him carefully dismantling a wooden train, after a moment she realized it was the foals ward train.
"Did nurse Redheart ask you to repair the toys?" She asked, feeling guilty she hadn't asked him sooner.
"The last commission I had to fill this year, was some wall decorations for the hospital." He rolled the train along his workbench gently, then picked it up removing a wheel. "I asked if the hospital needed any extra gifts for Hearth's warming, when nurse Redheart showed me the foals ward, I couldn't leave the toys so beaten up." Twilight nodded, somewhat happy he had done, what she was going to ask him.
"That was actually why I came, I was going to ask you to repair or replace the old toys," She said, looking away. "But I got worried you would treat it as an order, that you'd feel taken advantage of." He chuckled.
"No, if you had voice that concern when you asked, i wouldn't have." Twilight smiled hearing him say that.
"Would you like some company while you work?" She asked.
"Certainly."
Twilight watched him work, the glow of his magic around the tools he was using, to make new wheels for the train and its carriages. She had seen some of the things the Apples had hoof made over the years, even though his magic made the work faster, he still took the same care. Each wheel was checked and attached firmly to the train, then he rolled it over the workbench again.
"How did you get into woodworking?" Twilight asked, as Mr. Blue dismantled the cab, examining the roof and making measurements.
"When I was young, I wanted to be a palace guard, I think most colts do at some point." Twilight giggled, thinking about her brother. "On my fifth birthday my parents got me a wooden sword and shield, they weren't the most expensive and I would soon grow out of them, but I treasured them like nothing else." He chuckled.
"I went on countless adventures in my back garden, slaying dragons and protecting Princess Celestia." He put his tools down.
"One day when I was sevenish I hit a tree too hard and the sword snapped, I asked my dad if it could be fixed, and he explained to me it would never be strong enough again." He neatly levitated the pieces of the train to one side, ready for painting. "He helped me make a new sword over the next few weekends, it wasn't very good compared to what I can do now, and he taught me to use my hooves which took longer, but I was proud of that sword." Twilight smiled, watching him start to examine a shape sorting cube, that had suffered someponies frustration.
"I started to make more swords, a better version of the first, one with carving on the cross guard, one I painted blue with a red hilt and cross guard." He laughed. "I loved that one, after a while my dad trusted me to work pretty much on my own."
"Then you got your cutie mark?" Twilight asked, helpfully dismantling some of the toys that just needed a single part replaced.
"No, that happened when I was about eleven, I decided to make my friend a birthday present, and my mark appeared when I finished it." He smiled. "I think my sister still has all my swords somewhere, even the huge long sword i made, I'll have to send her a letter and ask."
"You're not going to see her?" Twilight asked, saddened.
"Her husband and I don't get on, and my brother and I have differing opinions, about what real work is." He sighed a little. "I still send Hearth's warming cards and gifts for my niece and nephew, but we rarely see one another anymore." Twilight nodded, then noticed the time.
"I'm sorry to suddenly leave, but I have to do some things before tomorrow, it was nice watching you work and talking to you." Twilight ran outside and flew off, the first time Mr. Blue had seen her fly in his time in Ponyville.
He went into the back door of his house, to get the lantern he hung next to the shed door. Partly as an invitation to ponies to come talk to him as he worked after dark, and partly to see once he was finished for the day. He forgot to check his fireplace before heading back out, his house comfortably warm when he had been in there.
It was well past dark, when he heard two ponies trotting through the snow, from the station. Rarity and her sister had been in Canterlot for the day, and the train had taken longer then expected to reach Ponyville.
"He's probably working late, like I do," Rarity said, as they trot past his house.
"We should at least check." Sweetie Belle was already trotting up the side of Mr. Blue's House, as she spoke. Mr. Blue was sat staring at a wooden animal, it was so chewed up he couldn't tell if it was supposed to be a Hedgehog, Armadillo, Pangolin or some kind of Toad.
"Good evening." Sweetie Belle beamed, stood at the door.
"Good evening, Miss. Sweetie Belle." He turned to face the door, glad of the distraction.
"I do apologise, Sweetie insisted we check on you," Rarity said, trotting slowly up.
"It's not a problem Miss. Rarity, I'm always happy to have guests." He offered them the bench to sit on, and after a moment Rarity nodded to Sweetie Belle.
"Are you making toys?" Sweetie asked, wide eyed.
"Mostly repairing these, though I do make toys." He put his tools down, and levitated a draw from the other side of the shed, removing thirty or so Palace guards figures. They were carved, each one generic and featureless with the exception, of their armor and wings or horns.
"The detail on these is exquisite," Rarity said, levitating one of each in front to her, her glasses perched on the tip of her muzzle. Sweetie Belle was carefully looking at the ranks, lined up on the workbench.
"Why are they all stallions?" She asked, gently straightening one that was out of place.
"Social convention, and the fact I've never seen a female guard pony up close, long enough to replicate how the armor sits." He used his magic to nudge the pony back out of position, Sweetie Belle sticking her tongue out at him, and turning her nose up.
"Do you make any other figures?" Rarity asked.
"A few." He levitated a group of nine ponies from a draw.
Two of them were generic mare and stallion figures, one was clearly a nurse modeled after Nurse Redheart, the other six were two Pegasi, two Earth ponies, a Unicorn and an Alicorn. Based on the unicorns fabulous mane, and one of the Earth ponies wearing a cowboy hat, they were supposed to be Twilight and her friends.
"I was thinking of making some play houses, based on ponyville buildings for the foals," He said, levitating the guards back into the draw.
"Oh, which buildings?" Rarity was quite curious about his plans, Sweetie looking at the tools he used carefully.
"Town Hall, the school house, the hospital, barnyard bargains, sugar cube corner and your boutique maybe." He listed.
"How about Golden oaks... library..." Sweetie Belle realized Mr. Blue had never seen the library.
"Probably best to make the castle of friendship," Rarity said, hugging Sweetie gently, as she looked down.
Mr. Blue worked silently for a few minutes, the mares watching, then Rarity stood and wrapped her scarf around Sweetie Belle.
"Stay here Sweetie, I'll be back in a few minutes." Sweetie Belle nod, as she buried her muzzle in the warmth.
Mr. Blue noticed, and put some more wood in the small stove, he used to keep his workshop warm.
"Are you doing anything special, for Hearth's warming?" He asked, Sweetie Belle sitting up a bit more.
"Not really, mum and dad are back from their last trip of the year, so we're spending it at home." She seemed rather neutral about it.
"Do you enjoy your job?" She asked, Mr. Blue stumped as to where to move the conversation, after Sweetie's lack of enthusiasm.
"Of course." He smiled. "Why do you ask?"
"Just checking." She beamed.
When Rarity returned, she was carrying a Thermos and three cups.
"Sorry I took so long." She sat next to Sweetie, who cuddled up to her sister for warmth.
The three chatted, as they drank the hot chocolate Rarity had made. As Mr. Blue returned to the last few things he had to finish for the day, Rarity and Sweetie carefully put the figures away, and swept up the few wood shavings on the floor.
"May I asked you something?" Rarity asked after a while, Sweetie Belle fighting sleep. Mr. Blue simply nodded. "Why do you travel so much? I see you at the station quite often."
"I don't actually, I collect orders from the station twice a week, but I did keep my workshop in Canterlot." He was only half lying.
"Oh, and I was hoping for some gossip." Rarity winked, smiling.
"Sorry Miss. Rarity, nothing secret going on." Sweetie mumbled something about, fruit tree bark campaigners, nuzzling into Rarity more.
"I think I should take Sweetie home." She giggled quietly.
She levitated Sweetie onto her back, and waited as Mr. Blue doused the stove, and locked the shed.
"Do you have any plans for Hearth's warming? If not, I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind an extra mouth to feed," She said, kindly.
"Thank you, but I've already been invited to Hearth's warming lunch, by the Cake's, and Lyra and Bonbon."
"Oh, well, if I don't see you before, Happy Heart's warming," Rarity said, smiling.
"Happy Hearth's warming." Mr. Blue bowed his head.
When he closed his door, he realized his mistake. He had been so focused on work, his fire had gone out leaving his whole house cold. He relit the fire place, getting his pillow and duvet, to curling up on the sofa.
The next morning, he got the fire going again with his magic, and made a note to hang in the workshop, telling him to check the fire. After breakfast, he went out and lit the stove to heat the workshop, before trotting into town to get some things.
"Good morning, what are you up to today?" Despite his less than desirable sleeping arrangements, he was quite cheerful.
"Well, we haven't decided yet," Apple Bloom said, the other two nodding.
"Do you need any help?" Sweetie Belle asked, excitedly.
Mr. Blue thought for a moment, theatrically.
"If you go ask permission, then yes I could use your help." The three vanished in clouds of dust.
He continued home and after making himself a drink, when into the workshop, organising the parts to be painted. When the Crusaders arrived, he had the parts and paints prepared.
"If the three of you could take a paint each, and paint the parts I've marks with the appropriate colour, it will save me a huge amount of time." He smiled. "I know its not the most amazing job, so thank you."
The Crusaders didn't complain, just sat down and started carefully painting the parts, then putting them near the stove to dry. All the painting was done within an hour, Mr. Blue letting the three use his kitchen sink to clean up.
"Do you need anything else?" Apple Bloom asked, as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle checked each other for missed spots.
"No, but..." He levitated a bit to each of them. "For services rendered." The three skipped away, as he went into the workshop.
"Oh, thank you ever so much, again," Nurse Redheart said, as Mr. Blue carried the toys.
"It's not a problem." He smiled.
"Luckily, we don't have many young ones in at the moment." She opened to door to the foals ward. "Good afternoon everyone, this gentlecolt has repaired the old toys for us." The foals who were mobile, came over to Mr. Blue as he unpacked the boxes, he had used.
"I've also made a few new toys, with Nurse Redheart's approval, I can give them to you." He got out a wooden hair dressers set, a wooden iron and two sizes of ironing board, a wooden camera, and a wooden doctor's set, with a stethoscope made of thin rope.
After Nurse Redheart had checked them over, she gave them to the foals, with a few words of warning about not hurting each other. She and Mr. Blue watched the foal's play for a few moments, then quietly left.
"Have you had enough, deary?" Mrs. Cake asked, as she wiped Pound's face.
"Yes thank you, it was wonderful." Mr. Blue smiled, then suppressed a belch, making the twins giggle.
"Oh..." Mrs. Cake tut and waved a hoof dismissively. "It wasn't anything special." She cleared the plates, as Mr. Cake gently caught an escaping Pound.
"Now now little mister, we'll have no flying after dinner." He tickled and raspberried his belly.
For her part, Pumpkin managed to teleport herself in front of Mr. Blue, striking a pose reminiscent of jazz hands before flopping over. Mr. Blue chuckled and played peekaboo with her, Pumpkin almost punching him in the face, when he leant in too close.
"I think it's time, these two had their nap," Mrs. Cake said, putting both foals onto her back and trotting upstairs. "Why don't you two go for a walk, while I clean up!" Mrs. Cake called.
"I'm fine helping," Mr. Blue said, Mr. Cake shaking his head.
"She has a system for large meals, and hates help, no matter how well meaning." Mr. Blue decided to defer to marital experience, and followed Mr. Cake outside.
They trot round the town, greeting other ponies and stopping occasionally to speak to them. Mr. Cake seemed distracted, as they got near Sweet Apple Acers. They stopped looking over the bare trees for a moment.
"There's something I wanted to ask you." Mr. Cake sighed, calming himself. "I'm not Pinkie's actual father, but I still care about her."
"Of course." Mr. Blue nodded, he knew what was coming.
"Do you have any intentions towards her?" He looked at Mr. Blue.
"Pinkie pie is a wonderful pony, a friend to every pony she meets, and that's all I see her as," He said reassuringly, Mr. Cake nodding.
"Thank you, I think I'm just getting paranoid about pumpkin, way before I need to." They both chuckled and started heading back.
When they reached Sugar Cube Corner, Mrs. Cake was sat at the table reading, all the kitchen cleaned, all the dishes washed. Mr. Blue sat in the chair he had for lunch, as Mr. Cake went into the kitchen, to make a pot of tea.
"Did you have a nice walk?"
"Yes dear."
"Well that's good." Mr. Cake smiled and returned to her book.
It was late afternoon when Mr. Blue finally left. He had spent most of it playing cards with the Cakes, or keeping Pound and Pumpkin out of mischief, so they could have a break. He had a soft spot for little ones, especially before they started speaking. He couldn't think of a better first Hearth's warming in ponyville.
“Come on in,” Applejack said, gesturing for him to.
“Thank you.” Mr. Blue smiled, removing the cloak he was wearing, to keep the misty rain off. “Who else is here?” he asked, checking he had everything he'd been asked to bring.
“Me, of course, your marefriend, Twilight obviously.” They both started trotting to the living room of the castle. “Pinkie, Rainbow, Starlight, Mac, Fluttershy, and Sunburst so far.” He nodded.
When they got to the living room, he placed the snacks he had brought with the others, and walked up next to Rarity, kissing her cheek as she spoke to Fluttershy. She blushed and quickly kissed his cheek when Fluttershy was talking.
“You are late,” she scalded lightly.
“My apologies, it took longer than expected to get organised.” Rarity fluttered her eyes at him.
“I guess I will forgive you, this once,” she teased.
Mr. Blue had started dating Rarity, after she had accidentally discovered him and Twilight discussing some matters, he had attended to for her. The price of her silence had in fact only been, accompanying her to an event in Canterlot. The Ponyville rumor mill had caught onto this quickly, meaning they were stretching it out a little, not that either was complaining.
“So, what can I get you?” Applejack asked, gesturing to the drinks table. “We have sweet hard cider, dry hard cider, regular cider, Whiskey, Punch, Wine, or some Apple Brandy.”
When he returned to Rarity, Fluttershy was complaining about her brother. He never ceased to be amazed by the difference in her, when she cared about something as much as, her brothers attitude.
“I know he lacks confidence in himself sometimes, but he's taking advantage of the situation.” Rarity was nodding sympathetically.
“I know darling.”
“May I ask what’s happened?” Mr. Blue didn't know Zephyr, but had heard some stories.
Fluttershy sighed and took a long drink from her glass.
“Zephyr thought it was a good idea, to attempt to fly to work asleep, or at least in his sleep mask.” The image of the aquamarine Pegasus, flying into other ponies and buildings, flashed across Mr. Blue's mind. “He crashed into another Pegasus and broke his wing.”
Mr. Blue nodded in understanding.
“Fluttershy is upset about his treatment of their parents,” Rarity continued, letting Fluttershy calm herself a little.
Mr. Blue sipped his brandy, and thought about how he and his siblings used to be, when they were sick or hurt. His sister was the one who would milk it when possible, being the baby of the three.
“I might ask Rainbow to come with me, his thing for her may trick him out of bed.”
“Well good luck darling, with whatever you choose to do.” Rarity lead Mr. Blue into a corner, stealing a kiss.
“Is everything alright darling, it's not like you to be late?” He rubbed his cheek on hers softly.
“Just the rain, I lingered in it a little much.” She looked him in the eyes, before softening and kissing him again. “Your perfume's nice by the way.”
“Perfume?” She sniffed herself quickly, then sniffed her mane. “Oh, I ran out of shampoo, and had to use the one sweetie’ keeps at the boutique.” She smiled mischievously. “But if you like it... maybe I should get some for you.”
Mr. Blue just smirked at her, as she nuzzled under his chin.
“You two love birds alright?” Applejack asked, trotting up.
“Perfectly dear, were you able to deal with that problem you were having?” Rarity asked, leaning on
“Yup,” she replied.
“Wonderful, now then, I heard Apple Bloom has a secret admirer.” Rarity giggled, Applejack rolling her eyes.
“Yeah... me and Mac are looking into that...” She seemed very unhappy about the situation. “If it's a simply schoolyard crush then no harm done, but the wording of the note’s a little too good.”
Applejack explained the situation to the both of them. Apple Bloom had found the note, neatly enveloped in her school desk, with a small bunch of wild flowers. She had spoken to the other Crusaders including Gabby, who might have seen something flying to the post office. Then once they'd failed to think of someone, she went to Applejack and Mac for advice.
“I don't supposed either of you noticed something?”
“No darling, I haven't.” Mr. Blue thought carefully then shook his head.
“Well if you do, you know where I’ll be.” She went to Mac, who was having a quiet conversation with Sunburst.
After a while and a few more drinks they all gathered around by the sofa, using big piles of pillows and blankets. The conversation was meandering and relaxed, mostly just telling amusing or embarrassing stories. Mr. Blue told a few of his own stories, from before he had become a Gentlecolt.
“I spent two and a half days, checking every history book and map I could think of, stretching back to before the first Hearth’s Warming.” It was Twilight’s turn to tell a story. “When I asked Princess Celestia about it, she was very surprised.” She buried her face. “I couldn't look her in the eye for a week.”
“It was an honest mistake, if it was accidentally returned to the history section, then how were you supposed to know,” Sunburst said, trying to be comforting, Starlight snickering uncontrollably next to him.
“Yeah, but History of Erotica!” She groaned into a pillow.
“I've honestly never understood ponies interest in that filth, I can understand a romantic novel or Shadow Spade, but not a story about ponies...” She blushed and cleared her throat. “I'd die if someone wrote one about me.”
“Six technically, though it’s a caricature,” Mr. Blue said, most of the brandy bottle empty next to him. The others looked at him with a mixture of surprise and curiosity.
“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.
“There are stories, nothing officially published but still available if you know where, about the six of you, and Mac... surprisingly.”
“The six of us?” Rarity moved away from her position snuggling him, as she asked.
“Yep, bad pseudonyms, similar physical descriptions, vastly different personalities.” The others looked at each other worriedly, except for Pinkie who leant forwards.
“What are our pseudonyms?”
“Let's see, Flutterbutt, Impurity, Rainbow Flank.” He pointed at them as he spoke, not that it was hard to guess. “All-night Twirkle, Wide Pear.” Mac, normally the archetype of strong and silent, audibly whimpered.
“What about me and Apples?” Pinkie was practically vibrating.
“Bucky Apple and Clyde.” Starlight, who was as drunk as Mr. Blue, was laughing her head off.
“Clyde, what sort of a pseudonym is Clyde?” Pinkie seemed more annoyed her characters name was bad, than that somepony was writing erotic fiction using her likeness.
“I may regret asking this, but what sort of things happen in these stories?” Rarity asked, hesitantly.
“Typically stories involving Impurity also involve Allnight or Flutterbutt, it’s the usual cheap plot, the two are doing something and one or more stallions arrive, to do plumbing or deliver something.” He hiccuped. “Then either they don't have the money, or they want something extra, and so ‘alternative’ payment is needed.”
“What about the others?” Starlight smirked, Sunburst to drunk now to even be coherent.
“Interestingly, Impurity is the only strictly heterosexual character in the stories, while Rainbow is the only pure lesbian.”
Rainbow Dash scoffed.
“I don't discriminate,” she said imperiously, before realizing what she'd said.
“But it's mostly the same sort of thing, or some contest or something.” He had given up on trying to levitate his drink to refill it, just drinking from the bottle.
“I have two questions,” Applejack said, coldly. “One, none of the Crusaders are in these stories right, and two, it doesn't have any animal bucking or... incest?” Mr. Blue shook his head vigorously.
“No, no, no, no, no,” he said, being as clear as possible.
“Good.”
They changed the subject abruptly to something lighter, and far less creepy. After a few minutes Rarity cuddled back up to Mr. Blue, and they stole drunken kisses less and less subtly, as the night went on.
“So I of course go to investigate the noises, and find the two of them making out under some blankets.” Starlight was relaying a story, from before she found the village. “It turns out they weren't brother and sister, they were married and just happened to look similar.”
“Oh my, I don't think I could have coped with the embarrassment.” Fluttershy whimpered blushing.
“It was certa- certon- definitely awkward.” Starlight nodded.
Mr. Blue was on his fourth bottle, Rarity doing her drunken best to stop him.
“That’s it you're both cut off!” Applejack took both their bottles and threw a blanket over them.
“Poo...” Rarity pushed Mr. Blue onto his back, and used his belly as a pillow.
When they woke, Mr. Tangerine was bringing coffee for them all. The teal mare balancing the tray on her back, stabilizing it with her wings.
“Ah, how much did I drink last night?” Rarity groaned rubbing her head.
“Two bottles?” Mr. Blue replied, wishing he had sunglasses.
Once they had eaten and their hangovers had started to fade, they trot slowly to the boutique.
“Come in, Sweetie shouldn't be back from the camp, for another few hours.” The boutique was blessedly dark and quiet.
“So... the stories you spoke about last night.” Rarity sat on the small podium, for ponies to view how they looked in various outfits. “Was it for your job, or...?”
“It was for my ‘job’.” Mr. Blue reassured her. “As you can imagine, even the rumor of it existing, put Princess Celestia in a foul mood.”
“I hope the real versions aren't a disappointment,” she teased, Mr. Blue frowning.
“Of course not...”
“Good.” Rarity kissed him softly. “I'd hate you to think I wasn't a respectable mare.”
“Perish the thought.”
She lead him to her sofa, and laid her head on his belly again, as they just talked quietly.
“By the way handsome, do you own any formal wear, other than the suit you wore on our first date?” Their hangovers had all but faded now, and Rarity was wanting some little work.
“I have a few others, in various states of moth eaten if I'm honest.”
Rarity tutted.
“That is unacceptable.” She got up then thought better of it. “On second thoughts, another day.”
When Mr. Blue dropped quietly down into the map room, Mr. Tangerine and Princess Twilight were dealing with some final business for the day.
“Will that be everything princess?” she asked.
“Yes thank you, I do not require you for my conversation with Mr. Blue, enjoy your evening,” Twilight said, clearly still feeling the previous night.
“Of course, your highness.” She blew a mocking kiss to Mr. Blue and left.
“Good evening, your highness,” Mr. Blue said, sitting on one of the chairs around the map table, with Twilight.
“I trust, that you know about the stories you mentioned, because you're a Gentlecolt.” He nodded in acknowledgement. “My question is, how many copies still exist... in theory?”
“Two, so far as we are aware, one in the file with my report on them in the Gentlecolt archive, and one in the Palace vault,” Mr. Blue answered.
“The Palace has a vault?”
“Indeed, under the throne room I believe.” Twilight voiced a series of rhetorical questions, about why Celestia wanted to keep a copy, before just burying her face a groaning.
“You are relieved for the evening, sleep well.”
“You too, Princess.” Mr. Blue smiled, teleporting away.