Diary of the Dead

Sunset made her way down the city street, kicking at a small pebble in front of her. The tears had subsided, but the pain of Fluttershy’s death still lingered on. It shattered her heart, creating a substitutionary spirit that bled fire and scorched her soul. This was worse than the time she’d broken her leg in a skiing accident. It was more torturous than when Flash Sentry had broken up with her. Her emotions were in a shambles, and all she could do was attempt to pick up the pieces and move forward.

But first, she needed to do what Celestia had suggested: mourn and remember with friends. So, she found herself walking out of the city proper and into suburbia. She knew the way by heart, but she also knew she’d pass the Shy residence. When she did so, it was all that could be done to keep from bursting into tears once again. More memories of her beloved friend assailed her mind, keeping her from rebuilding pillars of joy. She knew Fluttershy would want to be remembered with kindness and love. But at the same time, how could Sunset help but weep? Her mind whirled until she fell to her knees and began shaking in front of Fluttershy’s old home.

Keep it together, Sunset! She told herself, there’ll be plenty of time for expression in private. Get up, damn it! You’ve just gotta…make it to Twilight’s.

She did, but just barely. The sight of the Shy household in passing had broken her. As she made her way up Twilight’s front walk, she found each step to be weighted. Every muscle in her legs cried out as the emotional pain turned physical. Her head hurt, and she finally fell on her stomach and began crying all over again. She didn’t care who saw. The horrible feeling was too much to bear, and she needed to get everything out. Keeping it bottled up inside was only adding to her trauma. She felt the tears escape her eyes, dripping onto the solid concrete below. She wound her arms around some invisible silhouette of the departed, crying her name until she was out of breath.

It was in this disheveled, sad state that Twilight found her. The purple girl took pity on her friend, picking her up and dusting her off. Sunset managed to wipe the tears away and noted that Twilight’s eyes were red and her nose was puffy. It became apparent that the intellectual had been doing some severe weeping of her own. The two girls embraced, letting the tears flow, thankful to have someone’s shoulder to cry on. When they backed away, they looked into each other’s eyes, trying to find some kind of answer for this terrible tragedy.

“I…take it you heard?” Twilight asked through a voice racked with brokenness and heartache.

“Yes,” Sunset said in much the same tone, “I…I just can’t believe it. It doesn’t seem like it’s true.”

“I know,” Twilight said, “but it is. Now, we have to deal with this.”

“How?” Sunset asked in a voice that would break even the toughest of people, “how, Twilight?”

“By being with each other,” Twilight responded, “by remembering Fluttershy, by crying together and supporting each other.”

“Like she did?” Sunset asked in reference to the departed.

“Exactly like she did,” Twilight said.

Sunset didn’t say anything more, but allowed Twilight to nuzzle up against her. The two best friends felt their warmth combine as they headed inside the house. Once there, Sunset found everyone in a state of numbness. Rarity moved about the room, serving cocoa, tea, water, and whatever else her friends might have needed. But the way she maneuvered was somewhat surreal, as it was in stark contrast to her normal grace and fluidity. She was blinded by tears, but still continued to offer up her generous spirit to those who needed it.

Fluttershy would be proud, Sunset thought as more tears flowed.

“Oh, hey, Sunset,” Rainbow suddenly spoke as she rose from the couch. She and Pinkie Pie had been a small mound of hair, tears, and arms. They were cradling each other, trying desperately to alleviate the severe pain. But it seemed to be no use. Nothing could stop the memories of Fluttershy that assaulted their senses. They could smell her sweet scent, hear her quiet, soothing voice, and see her beautiful blue eyes. Worse, they could almost touch her spirit, feeling its kindness as it warmed their hearts.

“I…see I’m not the only one who’s been emotional,” Sunset said.

“Yeah,” Dash said, “it feels weird to cry, you know? Like…I’ve been…holding something back.”

Sunset put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay to cry, Rainbow. Fluttershy was a great friend to everyone here. Crying just means…you loved her.”

“Oh, I did love her,” Rainbow said, “I loved her more than a sister. She was…my best friend. I mean, I love all you girls, but when it came to Fluttershy…”

“I know,” Sunset responded kindly, “it’s the same love I have for Twilight. We’re all such good friends, but we do have those people that we love in a special way. Having a best friend is fine, Dash, and when that best friend is taken…it…hurts.”

“So, then, why are you crying so much?” Dash asked.

“Fluttershy was my friend, too,” Sunset said, “and…I have a lot of regrets when it comes to her. Before I knew all of you as friends, I knew her as a subordinate. I was such a bully to her.”

“…and you’re worried that no apology would be enough?” Dash finished.

Sunset nodded. “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

Dash looked at the floor, not knowing how to answer this particular question. Sunset’s pain was too deep, even for her to grasp. Sure, she’d always given Fluttershy a good natured ribbing over fear. But she’d also been the first to cheer whenever the quiet girl conquered a phobia. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for Sunset. Knowing that you’d never be able to truly apologize and make up for past mistakes. That was why Sunset wept so bitterly and why they’d heard her wailing outside. Feeling helpless, Dash walked to the other side of the room, put her arm on the wall, and cried some more.