Sci-Twi’s Time Travel Adventure

BAAAZAAAAAPPP!!!!!!!!

The machine took Twilight back to the motherfucking past and she was buck-fucking-naked in some random-ass stranger’s house. She used the time machine’s coordinates to find it’s own matter and atoms and shit to be able to track its own self back in the past and locate where it is from. And it turned out that some nerdy-ass computer nerd was the one who owned the computer. He liked it because he was a giant dork that loved computers and shit.

“Oh shit, I just realized I wasn’t tested for COVID before I came back in time!!! I hope I don’t have it!” she said and then immediately ran up to the stranger and coughed in his face and spat on him.

“What the heck?! Who are you?!!!?!!?!! Why are you doing that?! Don’t you know that could spread germs?!?!?!!! Please don’t ever do that again, if there were ever some kind of deadly pandemic going around, that could kill me!!!!” he said. (He was unaware of the 2019/2020 Coronavirus pandemic, because Twilight was now in the year 1975.)

“I NEED YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER TO TURN IT INTO A TIME MACHINE TO SAVE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!” she said and then kicked him in the face with her bare feet.

After noticing that she had no shoes or socks on when she kicked him in the face, that caused him to also realize that she was completely naked. “OH MY GOSH, YOU’RE NAKED IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!??!!!?!??!?!!”

Twilight looked at him. He was some 25-ish year old loser dork. “You’ve never had a naked person in your house before have you?!” she asked.

“No, I’m a good Christian virgin. I don’t even masturbate, I just use my computer to type in 1s and 0s into the files to create codes and programs for fun. It’s a good thing that these computers are not yet advanced enough to display images yet. If they were, the devil might tempt me to pleasure myself. But since that’s not possible, I don’t have to deal with the consequences of sexual lust and just spend all my time praying and computer programing. Maybe one day I’ll meet a woman who’s as big of a nerd as me, then I could finally lose my virginity. But if I am to be a virgin for life who’s never even ejaculated once in his entire life, then so be it. It is not my place to question the will of the almighty.” he said.

“Now please get out of my house, ma’am. You’re nakedness is making my genitalia feel weird. Is this what the guy’s in the office described as a ‘boner’?! I’ve never had one in my entire life before, because my only love is computers, science fiction, The Bible and God. Oh no, please leave before I commit adultery in my heart, just like Jesus strongly warned against!!!!”

“Shut the fuck up, idiot! I’m from the future and everyone and everything is going to fucking DIE unless you give me that computer!!!! I need to turn it into the time machine that I just used in order to prevent a paradox from destroying EVERYTHING!!!!!!! And then once that’s taken care of, I need to invent a cure for COVID that won’t kill everyone like the current ‘cure’ will. I need time travel to invent that, because it will be hard and take time, you stupid fucking idiot!!!!!!”

“Oh my goodness, well, I’m pretty good at problem solving and disease understanding. You want to explain this pandemic thing to me and maybe we can invent the cure together? You’re free to use my computer for anything you need, ma’am.” he told her. She then bitch slapped him and told him to shut the fuck up.

“I got this on my own, faggot!!!” she said.