Rainbow Dash's Fun Talent [Request]

Her mailbox was broken again.

For Rainbow Dash, the most popular and girthy futa-mare in Equestria, this was a common inconvenience. She let out a heavy sigh and started to scrape together the overflow of bits that were pouring out of her now-snapped mailbox. She was getting sick of this. Maybe if these ponies wanted her attention so much, they should stop breaking her shit? Subconsciously, she knew it was really the fault of the mailponies who kept stuffing the damn thing, but it was more fun to blame everyone individually for her personal first-world problems.

She sifted through the junk mail. Some of the more amusing entries were a stack of letters from Quibble Pants trying to cheat on his wife, the flower girls from Ponyville inviting her to a gangbang, and a the fourth letter from Prince Blueblood this month. She didn't bother opening this one, because the last three were all the same - the cowardly prince INSISTING that he was NOT GAY, he just wanted to stare at Dash's cock for a while so that he could...learn..how to present..? Or something? It was a joke to Dash at this point. I mean, come on.

Dude was gay as fuck.

The most alluring of the bunch, though, attached to a large sack of the golden coins, was a note from Fleur De Lis, known to many as one of the sexiest, most sought-after ponies in Canterlot. Dash yawned as she opened the note.

Rainbow rolled her eyes at the pretentious cursive handwriting actually slanting further on the last word to imply the use of italics. How extra. She scanned the rest of the letter, which went on for paragraphs, finally getting to the request itself:

Rainbow gave an audible groan at the attempt at relatability.

She immediately tore the letter in half. Dime-a-dozen whores, she thought. All the damn same. Ponies were ALWAYS at her hooves, begging her with bits. She would keep the bits, obviously, but she wished the dumbass mailponies would stop stuffing her box full and breaking it when there was already a ton of shit in there.

For her, life was just boring now. She had everything she could ever want. Because she had won the genetic lottery, she had the largest, thickest cock in Equestria, and literally everypony wanted it.

Everypony except her friends, that is.

Ponies would write her letters, send her requests, come and try to visit her personally, from hundreds, even thousands of miles away, but her friends, down in Ponyville, were as apathetic as it gets. Rarity especially pissed her off - as the only other futa-mare in the Mane Six, she felt like Dash had nothing to offer her. Applejack and Fluttershy claimed to be "gay" - what a laugh, she thought - only preferring the opposite of a large, juicy cock. How the fuck could anypony resist? That sucked. Twilight and Pinkie just claimed to not be interested in sex at all, but Dash knew it was personal. I mean, Pinkie literally had a kid with Cheese Sandwich. Did she think Dash didn't know how kids were made, or something?

She sighed. There her mind went off on a tangent about her friends again. It was probably just psychological - like, from an objective standpoint, somepony like Fleur De Lis was way more attractive than any of her friends, even Rarity, but it was the fact that she COULDN'T fuck them that was making it all the more attractive of an idea to her, while Fleur was practically crawling at her hooves like some kind of fucking simp.

"Duhhh...Rainbow Dash?" spoke a voice suddenly, with a rather derpy twing to it. Sure enough, Rainbow lazily glanced up to see Derpy Hooves, the wall-eyed pegasus, floating in front of her, letters spilling from her mail bag. "I uh, got a delivery for you from, uh..."

"I don't care!" shouted Rainbow Dash. For some reason, she was more annoyed this morning. With all of her concentration, she focused on a simple wish - ponies would just DO what she WANTED.

Unbeknownst to her, the Universe sparked just a little bit.

"I don't want it!" she continued to shout at Derpy, who tilted her head just a bit curiously. "I don't want anymore stupid letters. Just...stick your head in the clouds or something!"

"Okay, Rainbow Dash," responded Derpy, in a lazy tone. Dash didn't give it a second thought, as she turned around and headed back inside to start her coffee. Her pet turtle, Tank, lazily floated into her, softly bumping her head as he drifted off in a different direction.

"Oh, hey Tank," said Dash, lazily smiling at her dumb pet. He was nothing if not consistent. "Let me get you your breakfast."

Dash spent the next hour or two going through her morning routine, ending with a nice cleaning of her monster cock. Nice and shiny - just how she liked it. Tank chirped at her, content, and she smiled back at him before walking out the door to begin her day.

She found Derpy, still outside, with her head literally in the clouds beneath the steps.

Typical Derpy, she thought.

"Uh...heh...Derpy?" she said. "You don't have to...do that anymore." The poor idiot had probably taken her request literally. Figures...

"Okay, Rainbow Dash," Derpy responded, pulling her head up to face Rainbow, revealing her eyes, which shocked the blue pegasus the moment she saw them. They were lazy, like usual, but...moreso. They had a faded color to them, and were locked intensely on Dash, unblinking, unmoving. Derpy broke Dash's silence by continuing to speak. "What can I do for you, Rainbow Dash?"

Dash blinked.

"...Do a somersault," she said plainly. Derpy responded by immediately doing a somersault backwards, then facing Dash again. Her eyes remained glazed over.

"What can I do for you, Rainbow Dash?"

Dash blinked again, and then slowly, a smile spread across her face - a smile not unlike the one cover image of this story - as she began to get an idea. An awful idea.

Dash had a wonderful, awful idea.