Author's Note

During break I didn’t realize how many chapters I would have planned so given the fact my memory isn’t amazing I can only do up to end of season 4 when it comes to watching the show for now. At least until I get caught up. So enjoy this monster chapter on my return :)

18 One Weird Wedding

It was a bright day in Ponyville, the suns shine basking each pony under its reign with a mild heat. With mild gusts coming to and fro, it was the perfect day for a picnic. Heading closer into the town, the whole gang found themselves camped outside of golden oak library, Twilights home. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Aj all shared equal looks of worry while Pinkie and Spike had gone full blown panic. Meanwhile Dash and I stuck to the side calm and collected, knowing this was nothing of worry.

Spike paced back and forth in front the door while Twilight resided inside reading an important letter from princess Celestia.

“It’s probably just another test… yep just another test! Twilight will be fine, she’s always prepared for everything!”

Nodding in agreement beside him Pinkie watched with hooves over her head, body flat against the ground.

“This is ridiculous Dash. Why do we need to be here again? We had a whole day planned out to laze around!”

“I know right? I mean how am I supposed to be in tip top shape for the wonderbolts without using my rest days!”

“For real though, why are we here again?”

Three months had passed since my kidnapping with not much changing for me and the girls. There were some changes with Pinkie though, recently I’d convinced her to charge for her parties. It took a lot of prodding… and I mean a lot. After explaining that she would have more free time if she charged for her parties instead of working extra hours at Sugar Cube Corner, it seemed both economically and self beneficial for her to make the move. She’s the best party thrower in Equestria for Pete sake, it would only make sense she charges even a little for each event, especially to cover costs. Now given her new income, she only works for the Cakes on occasion, making most of her money elsewhere.

Another small change would be my effort in hanging out with all the girls. With all of those crazy events going on I’d realized I wasn’t spending enough time with most my friends! Dash becoming the most egregious given the fact she was the first pony I really got to know. In a way that’s how we find ourselves here.

We’d planned to hangout more often and today wasn’t an exception until Spike suddenly came dashing out of nowhere saying we needed to come to the library fast, so here we are.

Spike rushes over to me grabbing my shirt in his fist, “If Celestia has a test for Twilight, it’s likely she’ll need our help! That’s why I went and got you all”

“Listen sugar cube, wouldn’t it make sense for Twi to ‘test’ alone? Last I reckon, gettin help on a test was cheatin”

“Yeah!” Dash exclaims, “Twilights like the smartest pony I know! Why does she need our help with a test?”

“No you all aren’t getting it. Celestia only tests Twilight when something important happens. Like when Nightmare Moon returned!”

“I um… I guess that means she um would need our help if that’s the case”

I look over to the still steamy Dash, “Look if Spikes right we probably should be here… well y’all should. I’m no element”

Pinkie leaps up over to me with her hair more frizzled then normal, “But what if we need your help solving Twilight’s test or what if I need you or what if we leaveyoubehindandsomethinghappensIcouldntpossiblyliveknowingweleftyouif- “

I pinch her mouth shut, “Alright geez… I wouldn’t actually stay home…”

“Course you wouldn’t silly! Otherwise you’d miss out on all the fun!”

Silence fills the air once more. Crossing my arms I tap my foot impatiently. “This is stupid. Why are we all waiting here like it’s some sort of big reveal? Can’t she just read the letter in front of us?”

“It’s what she does… I don’t really get it either” Even Spike seems to calm down after giving the situation thought.

During that moment the entrance to the library opens up revealing a stunned looking Twilight, letter still floating in her magic. She stands to the side with a thousand yard stare while Spike snatches up the letter into his stubby grasp. As he scans down the page his eyes widen.

“My brothers getting married!” Twilight suddenly shouts, scaring the shit out of us all. “To some Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!”

“Cade- wait what?”

Twilight levitates herself eye level with me grabbing my collar, “MY BROTHERS GETTING MARRIED TO A PONY I DON’T EVEN KNOW AND HE NEVER TOLD ME!!”

She falls down pacing in front of the girls. Confused I grab the letter from Spike. After reading it I’m able to get a little understanding of the situation.

First, Twilight and her friends have been invited to the wedding on short notice. Second, apparently this ‘Mi Amore’ was already labeled a princess and was another alicorn nobody thought to tell me. Third, the girls and Twilight are the overseers of the wedding.

Turning my focus back to the others, the group now had surrounded Twi in an attempt to calm her. It didn’t look like it was working.

I break the huddle, “So we’re going to a wedding?”

At once each of the girls perks up, speaking at the same time.

“Oh my this is a perfect opportunity for me to show off some of my new wonderful styles! Twi I have just the best new laven-”

“Shoot I haven’t been to a weddin since my family in-“

“A wedding?! Just so you know Rarity I’m not wearing another one of those glittery dresses like you made last time, at least put some racing st- “

“In Canterlot? Oh that means I can see all the beautiful birds in palace garden, I didn’t ge- “

“Should I bring my party cannon? Maybe I should bring two… hm Joey what do you think?”

With each voice raising in volume the centerpiece of this seems to get progressively redder in anger before exploding with a yell.

“EVERYPONY STOP TALKING!” Immediately everyone turns their attention back to Twi. With a few large exhales she continues, “Sorry… this is just… this is a lot to take in I mean my B.B.B.F.F. is getting married and we need to be ready in less than three days!”

“I don’t get it Twi, why are you so stressed out?”

“Because Shining never told me about any of this! It’s so sudden and out of the blue! Who knows what this mare has planned for my brother”

Spike closes the gap and gives Twi a hug, “I’m sure it’ll be fine Twilight. I think your getting all worked up for nothing”

We all look to each other nodding in agreement.

“But how come he never told me! He never said anything about the two of them at all… how come he didn’t tell me”

“Yeah that is kinda messed up when you think about it…” I give Dash a hard glare. “What?”

“Well if it makes anypony else feel any better, the letters says y’all are hosting the wedding”

“Say what sugar?”

I reread the letter to the group, “Applejack is in charge of catering, Pinkie hosting, Fluttershy music, Rainbow… needs to do a ‘sonic rainboom’?”

“Only the coolest thing you’ve ever seen. Haven’t I showed you before? Want me to now? I can do it now!”

“ -Rarity the dresses, Me and Spike the bachelor party, and Twilight the overseer of everything”

Everpony starts to chirp in excitement, letting their eagerness get in the way of remembering Twilights worry. She wonders off from the group and sits on a bench near the front of the library alone. With a deep sigh I hand Spike the letter and walk over, knowing all too well I have to give another pep talk.

Why is it always me huh? I feel like the group therapist by this point!

I take a seat next to the deflated mare, her ears flat against her skull. She’s doesn’t pull her attention away from the ground. The air is tense and there’s an awkwardness that’s been between the two of us now remerging. Ever since I kissed her in the hospital we haven’t spoke about the whole dating thing since. Personally I didn’t want to bring it up if it still bothered her so I’ve awaited her move.

“Nice weather huh?” She doesn’t budge. “*sigh* Sometimes life happens Twi and it’s unexpected. Your brother probably wanted to tell you but got caught up or something. You shouldn’t assume it’s because he forgot about you… I mean didn’t you say he was your bff?”

“Bbbff” she grumbles. “I don’t get it. Surely he had time to tell me about this…”

“Maybe he tried and his letter got mixed up”

She looks back to her friends watching them bounce in excitement at the news. “Or maybe he just forgot about me…. I haven’t exactly been the best at keeping in touch either”

I wrap an arm around Twi, “I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing”

“Heh, you’re one to talk”

“Ha! Yeah I guess you’re right… but, I can laugh now and agree with you I was worrying for nothing right?”

“..I guess” she hesitantly responds.

“I guess?” I stand up speaking much louder this time, “I guess we all should enjoy today! I mean it’s not often you get a such nice weather and since we’re all together already let’s do something!” I’m a little out of my comfort zone being the group leader but, it’s for Twilight sake.

“Yeah! We can go hang out by the lake like we planned already!”

“Yeah! What do y’all think?”

The girls take turns shouting their agreement before we all turn to face Twilight. Aj takes a few steps over to brush against her, “Whadya say partner?”

“Ugh alright… it couldn’t hurt to take a relax day”

Spike runs up and puts his elbow against Twi with a wink, “That’s the spirit!”

And so we went to the very same lake me and Dash had originally planned to hangout at. It was a nice quiet little spot surrounded somewhat close to the Everfree. There even was a tire swing near the water on the single tree that stood nearby.

Decent in size and small in depth, the deepest part being 12 feet, I’d say the lake was more closely related to a pond. The only thing keeping me from calling it that is the water, it’s blue shade finds similarity to that of an ocean. Truthfully it looked cartoonish when seeing how blue it is and when looking underwater there’s even spots where the bottom fades away! Just more confusion to an already mysterious world.

Ignoring the strange lake we all found our places. Dash floating on a raft with her sunglasses sunbathing. Aj sleeping with her hat over her face against the tree. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Spike enjoying a picnic. Twilight reading a book in the shade. Pinkie swinging on the tire swing, her torso sticking through the middle as she hung upside down. Then lastly there was me, attempting to get any tan whatsoever on my pale skin. By now I felt kinda hot even with the breeze, a sweat formed over my skin.

Although I was showing a lot of skin for normal and most of the girls had ever seen me this bare before, the amount of attention I got was little to none. It wasn’t happenstance either, I could tell they knew I’d be uncomfortable and settled for ignoring it. With friends like these how could I not succeed in bettering myself? They’ve been there whenever I needed a pick me up, always filling me with positive vibes. I was spoiled.

Peaking an eye open to look over my body, I was still rather pale of course. That wasn’t the most noticeable thing however, let’s not forget about my huge ass lightning scar. I lift my arm to examine the trail. It’s pattern shoots violently across the skin making it clear the exact location it traveled through me. I can only shudder at the memory. Placing my hand on my neck just above the collar, I can still feel the change in skin texture where I’d been strangled. Laying here breathing feels like a miracle at this point. Let’s also not forget about the scars along my arms from when I had previously cut myself. Still something I’m not proud about but, looking at them now it’s definitely a reminder of how far I’ve come.

Closing my eyes I flip over to tan my back half, my head resting in my crossed arms. The light scuffle of hoof steps on grass approach me while I lay. It’s probably Pinkie.

“Psst Joey?” The sudden whispery voice directly in my ear shoots me up.

“Pinkie!”

“Yes?” She stands there innocently.

“….”

Looking around to see how close everypony is Pinkie leans towards me and speaks in a low voice, “Wanna help push me high enough so I can splash Dashy?”

With a quick glance to the relaxing Dash it feels a little too wrong in the moment… but think about all those times she messed with me. Like the time she lied and said it was my birthday at a restaurant so they sang me happy birthday or the time where she had the mail mare deliver me a bunch of sex toys I needed to sign for. The last one was NOT okay… it took almost a whole week to convince Derpy it was a prank!

“Sure” I say with a devilish grin.

“Yippee this is gonna be so much fun!” She hops back on the swing holding the sides in preparation. “Alrighty push me! Push me, push me, push me- “

“Hold on! I gotta get over there first miss impatient”

“Well if you weren’t such a slow pony I wouldn’t have to wait so long! Now let’s go!”

Her ridiculous behavior makes me smile while I get behind and start pushing her. After maybe 5 swings she really starts to get going. Honestly she could get a good splash from this speed now.

“More! More speed!”

“You’re *grunt* already good”

“This needs to be a splash she remembers! How else will I make the pony Olympic swim team if I can’t get a ten!?”

“Pinkie you don’t *grunt* even have a swim team”

With my final push Pinkie launches off the swing flying high into the air. Comically high. I mean there’s no way she could’ve possibly gotten that high off the momentum alone. At her apex she does a flip revealing her body now covered in a one piece swimming suit. I know by now it’s pointless to even ask how she did it.

With a sharp zip Pinkie torpedos down right beside Dash’s float causing a huge splash into the water. The proximity of the wave flips Dash instantly causing her to shout in surprise, her sunglasses flying into the air away from her.

As Dash splashes into the water, Pinkie reemerges to the surface spitting a large amount of water from her mouth. “TADA!”

Twi, Rare, Spike and Shy clap in amusement while I give a long whistle. “Way to go Pink! Next stop the Olympics!” Her bright smile warms my heart. It’s wonderful to see her having so much fun.

Next Dash appears from below with her mane covering her eyes. “PINKIE! JOEY! You two made me lose my sunglasses! Why can’t you two act like a normal couple!”

“We are a normal couple” I say with a grin. “Pinkie balances on the edge of insanity and I encourage it!”

“That’s not- you made me lose my sunglasses!” She shouts loud enough to life her mane off her head some.

“Settle down, I’ll buy you another pair”

“You better! Those were my favorite pair!”

“Favorite pair? I’ve only seen you wear one type of sunglasses… how many of the same type do you got?”

In a flash I’m pushed into the water from behind by a rainbow blur. Her movement is to fast for me to register. All I’m able to get out is an oof before I fall face first into the water. Cold water rushes around me cooling my sweaty body. It’s relieving in a sense. A pair of hooves pull me up to the surface.

“Oh my gosh Joey! Can you swim?”

“*spit* … yeah I can swim… you don’t need to hold me”

“Oh… I just thought maybe you couldn’t swim so when Dashy pushed you in I got worried so I rushed over but now thinking about it your pretty tall and this lake is pretty shallow so maybe I was being a little too worried unless you’re allergic to water cause if you’re- “

“Pinkie I’m fine” I place a hand on her head and give a pat to calm her.

“Okie dokie!” She yells.

Diving back under the water Pinkie disappears from sight. I keep my focus looking for where she’d pop up until a still angry Dash waddled over to me.

“I expect some new shades by the end of the week!”

I retaliate by splashing her with a laugh. “Sure I’ll get right on it”

She tackles me back into the water, we wrestle for dominance both taking turns splashing and roughing each other up. It doesn’t take long for Dash to cheer up, enjoying having another pony beside Aj to compete with every once in a while.

Taking some time to enjoy the water I eventually start to feel a little burnt from all the sun I was getting. Making sure to dry off I put a shirt back on and head over to the shade where Pinkie, Twilight, Shy and Spike were playing a card game. Meanwhile Rarity had moved over to the one tanning chair sometime during me and Dash’s scuffle. Also Aj replaces me after waking from her nap, making sure to keep Dash from getting to big a ego. Think of Aj as my substitution after the ass whoopin Dash put on me. Surely I tired her out enough to make any competition against Dash a breeze for the cowpony.

“Yo” I wave to the ponies in the shade, sitting down between Shy and Pinkie. “What are y’all playing?”

“Go fish!” Pinkie answers, her bathing suit still on including some floats and goggles on her head as well.

“Yeah and Twilights gonna win… again” Spike grumbles.

“Hey it’s not my fault all of you sell your hands so poorly! I’m just using reasonable deduction to determine the best possible action for each turn” she sits there with a smug expression. “Spike.. do you have a four?”

He hands over the last card he has with a pout while Twilight stacks another set to her score. Chuckling I start to pull Pinkies floats off and goggles off. Setting them to the side when I turn back she sits there expecting me to continue.

“What?”

“You can’t just stop stripping me right there! You didn’t even take my bathing suit off for me!”

I blush, “First off I’m not you parent and can you not see how that’s wrong?”

She tilts he head sideways, “How come? I’m always naked anyways!”

I look to the others to see if they agree with me. Twilight and Spike shrug their shoulders. Shy looks away bashfully.

“See? Shy thinks it’s awkward! Plus why are you even wearing that?”

“Cause I went swimming, duh!”

“But-“

“No buts mister! A swimming suit is for swimming and that’s final!”

I wasn’t going to argue on why it’s a swimming suit…

Sighing I sit back down and switch between watching Pinkies and Shy’s hands. With each turn their decks grow smaller, almost like Twilight could see through the back of their cards.

“Oh my” is the only thing Shy can say, giving her last card to Twilight. “You’re really good Twilight”

“Yeah… a really good cheater!” Pinkie shouts.

“Come on Pinkie, everypony knew she had a 8. She kept asking if anypony had one for the last two turns”

Pinkie squinted her eyes, “Sounds like something… A CHEATER WOULD SAY!” She points with accusation.

“Pinkie” I say while playing with her mane. “She’s clearly just good at the game”

“What?!? Not you too! She’s got all of you under her spell! Uh no! What do I do?!”

“You can start by giving me your seven” Twi smirks. It’s Pinkies last card.

Aghast, she hands the card over before falling backwards with a poof. Her head rests between my stretched out legs. I pull her close so she laid on my lap, my hands play through her mane some more. Slowly she closes her eyes enjoying the feeling of my hands scratching her scalp.

“So how are you feeling now purple?”

Her smile shrinks a little, still strong across her face. “I wouldn’t have minded a warning from Shining but… I’m sure he had his reasoning”

I smile and nod in agreement, “I bet he did. Given the expectations you have of him, he must be a great brother”

“Yeah” her voice quiets some, “He really is”. She takes a moment to put the cards down and ponder something, then turns her attention back to me. “Did you have any siblings back home?”

This seems to perk everyponys ears up. The silence becomes more noticeable once the sounds of Dash and Aj swimming become more apparent. A long drawn pause is finally interrupted by myself.

“I don’t want to talk about Earth”

Shy puts a hoof on my shoulder, “That’s okay, I’m sure we all have things we don’t want to talk about”

“Yeah…” I lightly nod.

“I don’t like to talk about rocks!” We all give blank stares to Pinkies outburst.

“Anyways what’s the plan for the wedding Twi? We gotta head there a day early to prepare or?”

“Actually yes. Tomorrow I suggest you and Pinkie prepare and I’ll make sure to check on you at some point to see how everything is coming along”

“What about apparel? I don’t have anything that’s wedding worthy, especially royal wedding worthy”

“Leave that to me dear, it was my job in the letter if you do remember” The sudden voice behind me makes me jump some. “Sorry if I startled you” Rarity giggles.

“No no… it’s fine. I’m used to surprises” I give a quick look to Pinkie and see she’s not laying in my lap anymore. She’s not even paying attention, instead she’s writing on a notepad. “Um Pinkie? Whatcha writing?”

“Oh I’m making a list for the party!”

“You do realize it’s a wedding right?”

She nods, furiously writing with her tongue sticking out to the side. I lean over to see what she has so far. Drawings…. several crude, childlike drawings of party cannons, ponies and… hey that’s me! I turn back to the others and notice they’ve started a conversation of their own. Something about Twilight’s dress, I don’t know it’s yucky girly talk.

“That list looks a little fishy if you ask me”

She stops to give me a offended look, “What!? This is an amazing list! I even have my secret punch ingredient on here!”

“What’s your secret ingredient?”

She whispers, “A secret”

Frowning I boop her nose causing her to fall over on her back. “Trouble maker”

“Joofus!”

We share a giggle and I lean back taking one of the pillows Shy brought to rest my head. With the light breeze, the summer air, and my pony friends all around me it’s the perfect conditions to relax. Once I close my eyes a few seconds go by til I feel a pony sized shape lean against me. Peaking its Pinkie still drawing on her notepad, using me as a pillow. Closing my one open eye I slow my breathing to long drawn out breaths, something my pony therapist told me to do when I want to relax. Yes you read that write, I took Twilight’s advice.

Turns out the pony was a stallion named Social Hay, kinda comical compared to most ponies. Even he admitted it when I first met him. That’s beside the point, I met the stallion and agreed to keep meeting after our first conversation. We didn’t talk about much… actually I didn’t talk about any of my issues rather we spent the first session getting to know each other. I felt way more comfortable as time went on and was curious to how our sessions would change. Now we have planned for meeting once a month where I would explain how everything was going and he’d weigh in his two cents.

Twilight was really proud of me when I gave her the news. She couldn’t hide her happiness to seeing me grow from the person I was when I arrived. Beside Twi, Pinkie was incredibly supportive too, even walking me there when she can. I think the rest of the girls didn’t find out til much later but, they never made a fuss about it so who knows.

Using one of the few things we covered, taking long exaggerated inhales and exhales is apparently a great way to wind down. It doesn’t take long before I slip away, even with my collar on.

My nostrils are immediately assaulted by various strange smells, the most potent vanilla. When my vision clears I become aware of the surroundings. A candy wonderland like something out of Willy Wonka. Candy cane trees, gum drop rocks, a fruit punch river and most noticeable of all, a large vanilla ice cream mountain towering over the sugary land. My brain seizes to function for a moment unsure of what’s happened. Surely this is a dream.

“Tis a wonderful dream indeed!”

I spin to the approaching voice, Luna’s wings flap against her sides slowing her descent. “Did you just…?”

“Read your mind? No, such a feat is almost impossible to preform, let alone on an individual I’m not in physical contact with”

“Seems like you still can”

“Perhaps…” she doesn’t hold the mysterious act long, succumbing into a fit of giggles. “What brings us to such imaginary landscapes such as these” she motions her wing over the fast candy land.

“I guess I fell asleep… that and being with Pinkie for so long kinda rubs off on ya”

“Indeed it must…” she pushes a hoof against a nearby gumdrop.

Admiring the view that is princess Luna, she currently stands before me in her normal pony form or what I like to call little LuLu. She’s a small as a normal pony and her coat a light purple instead of her usual dark blue. It’s her most adorable look.

“Do we have something on our face?”

“No, just enjoying you Lu”

Stepping forward she brushes herself against my side, “Such a sweet talker to even a mare of my age”

Smiling I scratch her head for a moment, “You know I can’t help myself”

“Then by all means continue to work those wonderful hands of yours… ooh a little to the left” her eyes close and she leans further into my touch.

It’s tough not to blush at the level of enjoyment she gets out of this but, I continue nonetheless. “What brings you into boring old me’s dreams? Lonely?”

“Hmm… yes we are as the young ponies say, ‘down’ for any time with others. You mustn’t judge me, it was a millennia I had spent upon the moon by myself”

Sitting down she lays her head on my lap as we keep talking, “Trust me I’m not judging. What you went through would’ve brought me to insanity”

“Technically we did go on a crazy rampage with our return…”

“And technically it was understandable”

“No” she shakes her head in disagreement. “What we- I did was unacceptable. I had not only failed my fellow ponies but, I had failed my sister, making her only choice to banish me to the moon”

“Certainly that wasn’t the only choice”

“Would you’ve preferred she let me win? An eternal night of perpetual darkness?”

“I would’ve preferred she treated you like a sister… and me like an adult”

Opening her eyes Luna flips over staring toward me, “Is thou still too bothered to talk with her? She truly is sorry for what transpired”

“I’m sure she is” I say sarcastically.

She sighs closing her eyes once more, “If thou wished to be treated like an adult perhaps acting like one would be the wisest first step”

This makes me grump but I keep my cool for Luna’s sake, “She created more problems with what she did. I was paranoid as fuck and beginning to think I was crazy the longer things went on”

“I cannot speak for my sister’s decision however, I can inform you she feels awful for what she’s done”

We lay in silence, my hands still working circles against Luna’s scalp. The smile on her resting face tells me all I need to know. Her blackberry scent runs through my nostrils filling me with security. She’s the one pony I can feel actually safe around. That’s no offense to any other pony but given Luna’s experience, power, background, and knowledge she’s the most fitted for protecting a fool like myself.

“I really do admire you ya know”

“Do tell, in what way?”

“Well there’s the fact you’ve been trying to fix your speaking even though nopony said you needed too”

“That is nothing to admire, I simply wished to seem more relatable with modern ponies”

“Okay what about your ability to forgive your sister so quickly? Even after she banished you to the moon”

“Again we were in the wrong and forced her hoof. I can’t imagine the pain she went through after having done that to one of her own family”

“You really are amazing”

Blushing she shoots up from her laying position, “Why all this sudden praise?”

“Because you deserve it? I mean everypony needs somepony to tell them how great they are every once in a while. Specially a great pony like yourself!”

“We are not great! There is much I still have to learn!”

“Yeah but, you stand there and admit you’re not perfect and you try to be better. All I look for in a pers- pony is effort”

“Well then we must seem okay”

“Try amazing”

“Ugh, you simply think too highly of me”

I laugh and hug her against me, “I have to until you realize how great you are!”

“Very hypocritical coming from thou…”

“I think that’s the second time already today somepony called me that”

Giggling she stands up from her spot and picks a lollipop flower from the ground. Placing it into her mouth comes back and sits down with me with a smile.

“You should dream of locations like this more often. It would be much more beneficial then the nightmares you so often imagine”

“Gee why didn’t I think of that?”

“Then stop worrying about the past”

For only a flash second I’m back to the inside of that shack, the blood dripping crowbar clenched in my hand. The lifeless corpse twitching near my feet. I snap back to Luna with a spike of anxiety, I hide it with a smile.

“Hey… I never did thank you for saving my life. I mean. I wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t found me so quickly so…. Thanks”

Taking the lollipop out her mouth she gives me a small smile, “The least we could do for a friend as caring as you”

“I’m not that special”

“You are our best friend. That makes thou special to us”

“Stop it, there’s no way I’m your ‘best’ friend”

“Could you name the friends I do have?”

“Yea um… Celestia, the girls…me”

“And?”

“If there’s any more I don’t know them”

“Face it, thou are our best friend. The only pony caring enough to befriend the scariest pony in Equestria”

“I’m not the only pony, you have other friends”

“But you were my first”

That could be taken out of context

“No the girls reformed you and all that shit before I was here!”

“Reformed, not befriended. They never became close with us until your arrival. Even now I do not know much about the element bearers”

“Still not a good friend I mean the only time we meet is when I’m sleeping! I never even come meet you in person”

“There is no need. We only seek your company and if the means of communication require the dreamscape then we shall meet this way”

“Can’t you teleport to my home sometimes? We could meet that way or you could teleport me if that’s better”

“We are usually asleep during the day hours making the dreamscape most convenient for the both of us”

“I couldn’t possibly ask you to avoiding sleeping just to hang out”

“Then how about finding time with us at the upcoming wedding? Surely you are arriving with Twilight and the others. We can meet before or after”

My eyes widen at her idea, “That’s a great idea! Okay let’s meet before and after, how’s that?”

“Splendid! We can’t wait to enjoy your company in person once more!” She cheerfully responds.

“But didn’t you just say that the dream- “

“I was trying to make you not worry. Of course meeting face to face is better!”

“I fuckin knew it!”

Our conversation goes on for sometime as we enjoy the absurdity that is my dream. Eventually Luna is pressed for time given my awakening and we share our goodbyes. Stirring awake I realize Pinkie was now completely sprawled across my chest asleep. To my left lay a sleeping Twilight as well… and a sleeping Dash upside down on my pillow. Actually the whole group lay asleep around me leaving nopony but the previously slept Aj awake beside me. She tilts her hat my way to make me aware of her consciousness.

I mouth the word ‘hi’ and she motions that she’s heading out. I give her an ‘ok’ and a wave goodbye, trying my best not to move for the slumbering ponies around me. Aj has to put a hoof to her mouth to silence the laugh at the sight of me. Then she turns and heads off back towards Ponyville. Sadly for Aj, Sweet Apple Acres is across the town from where we are so her walk is going to be a long one.

Shifting slightly for comfort I set myself in the perfect position to enjoy the sky above. The midday sun finds itself scorching the area around us, our spot a safe heaven in the tree’s shade. Wind batters my lengthy bangs around annoying me quite some bit. I’m in need of another haircut… a beard trim as well. It would be best to try and look presentable during the wedding even if I don’t have to. Think of it as my own personal agenda, a goal to better myself.

A strand of hair blows into my eye making me blink in frustration. I lift the arm resting on Pinkie to relive my struggle but the sudden lack of warmth draws movement from the pinkster. She stretches and releases a large yawn, opening her eyes to meet mine.

She goes to talk but I’m quick to react, placing a finger to her lips with a shush. Pointing a circle around me she looks for herself to see everypony including Spike napping peacefully under the oaks protection. Smiling she hugs me around the neck peppering my neck with kisses causing me to squirm. Her assault is much too ticklish for my blood making me shift to pull her away and pin her beneath me.

“That’s wasn’t cool” I whisper.

“I know” she giggles, “It was funny” her voice getting a little too loud. Even her whisper had no silent mode. “Hey I have a really fun idea! We shoul- “

I silence Pinkie with a kiss. Her eyes close in enjoyment and she relaxes under my hold. When I pull away I can see a faint blush through her pink coat. She always was the toughest to tell when she’d get embarrassed. Whether it be from the color of her coat or her ability to not care, I could only get a noticeable blush from her during intimate moments. I hadn’t pulled away too far, our noses still brushing. Without avoiding her look she can’t help but blush deeper, now a haze across the entirety of her face. She breaks the stare looking to the side.

“I win” I whisper before getting off her triumphantly.

Not only did I quiet her down for the others but I knew she would take any deceleration of victory seriously even if there was no apparent challenge. Her ears point up straight realizing what I’ve said making her turn to me with a pouting face.

Chuckling I notice the distinct lack of Rainbow Dash laying on the pillow. With a slow turn I notice she’s to the side with two hooves over her mouth. A vibrant red painted on her face. Now it was my turn to be embarrassed.

“H-hey Dash, hehe… didn’t see ya there” I scratch the back of my neck.

“You two need to get a room!” Her whisper voice is almost as bad as Pinkies, waking another pony up from their nap.

Twilight sits up next rubbing her eyes with a foreleg. “Hmm? What’s going on?”

“These two were fuckin smooching right in front of me! It was like super gross!” Twilight furrows her brow at Dash’s vocabulary.

“This true?” She asks with seemingly little care.

“W-well I didn’t want Pinkie to- “

“Yup it sure is! Joey’s actually a big perv and he can’t keep his- “

I pinch her side to make her stop from making things any worse. “That’s not true, Pinkie was- “

“It’s totally true! I saw you tackle her down and get all icky”

Twi raises an eyebrow in my direction.

“Okay I did kiss Pinkie I’m not denying that but- “

“It was super sudden! I was gonna tell him this fun idea I had but I totally forgot it when he kissed me”

“I uh…” things were looking bad.

“Joey can you keep to yourself when you’re with us? It’s kinda awkward for us all if you understand what I mean”

“But- “

“Yeah dude, keep your pants on”

“Keep your pants on silly! Nopony wants to know what we do behind closed doors!” She giggles while smacking her hooves together.

Dash can only suppress a gag while Twilight gave her best ick face.

“Pinkie you’re gonna kill me” I say under my breath with both hands over my face.

She seems to realize she’s gone a little too far and try’s to redeem herself. “Cmon girls, it’s not like we were fooling around! It was just a kiss” she rushes over giving Dash a peck on the cheek.

“Hey!” She blushes up at the touch.

Twilight can’t hide her laughter causing the rest of the girls and Spike to wake up as well. Everypony stirs awake to find a red faced Dash, a downtrodden Joey, a chipper Pinkie and a laughing Twilight. To say the scenery wasn’t strange to wake to would be dismissive.

We all joke and talk some for a little longer before Rarity and Fluttershy have to head off. Then Twilight and Spike follow having to prepare for the upcoming wedding. It leaves just me, Dash, and Pinkie. A strange trio indeed. Walking we make our way back to my house, Dash flying with us for now until she feels the desire to fly home.

“And your summer home just floats around? Like anywhere?”

“Of course it doesn’t! I wouldn’t be stupid enough to let it just float away. I pack the heaviest clouds I can find around Ponyville and I stick em under the house. It makes it stay put for a few days at least until the bottom clouds rain out”

“I still doesn’t make sense, they’re clouds. How could they ‘stick’ together? It’s not like they’re Cotten candy. They’re a mist! Water vapor!”

“Haven’t you ever stood on a cloud before?”

“Oh yeah your right! I totally forget how I used to have wings and flew around. Of course I’ve never stood on a cloud before!”

“Do you want to?” Initiate fear of heights.

“NO, absolutely not!”

“Aw how come? I’m sure Dash wouldn’t let you fall” Pinkie bounces with each step on my side, way too optimistic about the whole situation.

“I’m not trying to die today”

“I wouldn’t let you fall, I pinkie promise” she holds out a hoof.

We stop our walking in hesitation of the next move. “No, I don’t like heights and that’s a fucking height”

“I thought it was a cloud”

We continue walking again ignoring Pinkies antics. “Never took you for a chicken”

“Chicken, coward, baby. Call me whatever so long as I’m on solid ground”

“Ugh how about this. If you let me take you onto a cloud, I’ll forget about the sunglasses you owe me”

It’s a tempting deal but, I’m still not persuaded enough. “Nah, I’ll stick with buying you new shades thank you very much!”

“How did you fall in love with such a party pooper Pinkie?”

“Opposites attract!”

I frown at the verbal abuse. In response I stick my tongue out at them both with a poop noise. “Y’all bullies”

“Pfft, yeah right! In fact when I was in school I used to stick up against the bullies! Ask Fluttershy, I raced these two ponies that were bullying her when we were in filly school”

“I forgot you two went to school together. Kinda crazy how you and Shy were friends before the elements”

Pinkie tilts her head in confusion, stopping her bouncing to ask a question. “What do you mean? We were all friends before element bearers you know? Actually the newest friend of us all before you was Twilight”

“Yeah, she came to town to make sure the summer sun celebration went well in Ponyville. That’s when we all met her and princess Luna came back all evil and shit”

For some reason I feel the need to clarify it wasn’t Luna, “Nightmare Moon”

“Yea yea, same thing”

Angrily I want to say more but I withhold myself. “So what are you gonna do to prepare huh? A couple stretches? Maybe sleep the whole day before? Must be really tough having to do just one thing”

“Oh yeah? And what are YOU gonna do? Walk around like a scared little puppy cause you can’t handle crowds?” and all bets are off.

“Dash!” Pinkie shouts in disbelief.

“What?! He started it!”

“Fuck off, you were talking shit about Luna and it wasn’t cool”

“Talking shit? I was simply saying the truth!”

“Judging someone because of one mistake is ignorant and stupid!” I stop just in front of my house leaving a worried looking Pinkie between us.

“She’s kind of crazy, if we- “

“She’s not crazy”

“Um… she kinda tried to take over Equestria if you forgot”

“Dash everyone has flaws alright? You don’t think I’m crazy too do you?”

“Of course not dude but, you never tried to take over Equestria!”

“I fucking killed a pony” instantly the mood seems to change. I can feel the tension, a huge pit growing in my stomach. “Nightmare Moon never went that far…”

“Joey you were defending yourself!” Pinkie rushes over to hug my arm. “You didn’t have a choice!”

Dash seemed taken aback, unsure what to say. “I… I’m going home”

With that she flew off into the distance leaving the two of us alone. “Probably thinks I’m a freak”

She starts to usher me into the house with urgency, “No she probably left because she felt bad for making you uncomfortable. Dashie wouldn’t think of you like that”

Thinking over Pinkies words I realize I’m exactly what I hate. One of those people who you have to walk on egg shells around just to get along. I don’t want that, I don’t want to be that guy.

“Sorry Pinkie for ruining things” I somberly say. “I don’t know why I can’t act normal” I head over and lay sprawled across the couch.

Gingerly Pinkie walks over and takes a seat next to the couch right where my head lays. “Who wants to be normal? That sounds really boring”

“Normal isn’t the right word I guess…”

“I think you’re perfect just the way you are!”

I wrap her up and lay her atop of me with a hug, “Of course you do you dolt. You wouldn’t know a monster from a pony if he was holding you in his arms”

“Hey! I’m less of a dummy then you!”

“Less ugly too”

She giggles running a hoof over my scars, “Silly colt, I think you’re handsome!”

“Ha, I look like I ran a mile through thorn bushes then fell down a mountain into a glass factory!”

We both share a laugh until Pinkie gives me a payback kiss for earlier. “And that’s for kissin me around the girls! I can’t believe you did that I mean it was so embarrassing! Even Dash was shocked!”

“I can’t kiss you around the others?”

“Course you can kiss me whenever you want but, even I know moderation… me Pinkie Pie” she places a hoof to her chest in seriousness.

I chuckle a little, ultimately sinking back into my former poop mood. “This wedding is gonna be awkward for me. Like I don’t mind what ponies think but, I really hate attention”

“Attention? You’re not the one getting married silly! Why would anypon-“ she notices my unimpressed stare before continuing, “-I guess you might get some attention, hehe”

“Exactly. I mean I’m completely willing to suck it up for Twilight’s sake don’t get me wrong” I pause to think over my next words.

“Another reason why I love you. One of the toughest ponies I know!”

“Please don’t call me tough”

“Handsome?”

“Ok you can call me tough”

“Toughest pony ever!”

“Sure but, as I was saying. With all these new scars, my already tall figure, and this stupid collar still on my neck I’m one of the most ridiculous looking things on the planet”

“I mean I’ve seen crazier things… either way everypony thinks you’re a hero now anyway so who cares!” She shouts joyfully.

“Hypothetically they see me as a hero, that still doesn’t change the fact I’m the center of attention!”

She places a hoof on my mouth, “Hey there’s no need to yell!” Pinkie yells directly in my face. I pinch her nose and hold it causing her to close her eyes in a panic. “Owie I was kidding!”

Letting go she rubs her red nose with a giggle, “Who knew you liked it rough”

“Pinkie please…”

“I’m kidding! Or am I?” She bursts into a fit of laughter rolling back and forth across my chest.

Pinching the bridge of my nose I start to feel bold enough to get revenge, “And what if I did like to get rough?”

Her ears perk up and her face shocked but, only for a second until she kissed me again. “Don’t be ridiculous, I know you like to get all lovey dovey with cuddles and hugs”

“I do not!” I say while scratching her head.

“Hehe, I love so much about you. If I try and think about all the things I love at the same time it’s so overwhelming I might explode!”

“Hm, try not to do that. I like you all together like you are now”

“I’ll try!”

She flips herself sideways and relaxes into my touch. A light caress and soft scratches across her mane and back. Eventually we even switch positions to the point where I’m giving her a massage. I don’t know exactly know how to give a proper one yet but, I can guess as to what feels nice. Her bubbly attitude soon melts down into the puddle of a pony that rests beneath me. Every few moments she even gives out a light moan letting me know the service of my work. Not long from when I started my hands begin to get tired causing me to take brief breaks. Through her blissful peace Pinkie seems to notice speaking up just above a murmur.

“…tired?”

“A little but, I don’t mind to keep going if you’d like?”

“… hmm please”

The euphoria in her voice makes me snicker. I had to have gone for a total of 30 minutes until I stopped, my wrists and hands clammy from the work.

“Sorry I need a break” I twist my formerly injured wrist in an attempt to relive the tension. The pain much more on that side than the other.

There’s no response making me believe she’s fallen asleep. Getting up I move over to the windows and let some fresh air inside then make my way to a nearby closet to get a pillow for Pinkie. When I turn around I see her sitting up and sleepy eyed, patting the spot next to her with a loopy smile.

“Now it’s your turn”

I wave a hand dismissively, “No it’s fine Pinkie really”

“Nope, it sure isn’t. I can’t take such a wonderful massage go unpaid, it’s unjust!”

I sit down next to her placing the pillow down with a pat, “Sure you can, I did it cause I love ya”

My nonchalant expression makes her more aware of the honesty in what I say. She can’t help but blush. Suddenly she angrily starts to shove me onto my stomach.

“You’re gonna let me massage you and you’re gonna like it!”

She places the pillow I brought over under my head and starts to get to work. “Pinkie you… my god that feels good already”

“Yup!”

“You don’t need to… do this” I get a little tripped up from the wonders her hooves do.

She doesn’t bother to amuse my argument and keeps working away at my back. She doesn’t go on much longer until stopping.

“Can you lift your shirt up? I can’t give you the whole Pinkie experience otherwise” With protest I lift my shirt up to my arms, it’s as high as possible without taking it off all together.

“Thank you!” A familiar feeling of a bare hoof in my skin is back again. Strangely firm but soft to the touch. I let her continue without interruption until I completely pass out.

Fast forwarding to tomorrow, me and the girls find ourselves on a trip to Canterlot. Our train chugs along puffing large clouds of gray smoke up into the air. Apparently trains on Equestria are powered through magical coal that has been enhanced to not pollute the air nearly as much as non-enhanced coal. Given the lack of black color coming from the smoke, I can safely assume that fact holds water.

I felt sick. Not motion sickness but, a symptom of wearing my collar for too long. The morning had been tough. I spent at least 10 minutes puking my guts out before I could hold down some water. Thankfully Pinkie took care of our luggage and helped me make my way to the train. After arguing with Twi that I was fine enough to go I eventually was able to convince her, leaving us to where we are now.

I lean against the window with a paler then normal complexion. Pinkie rubs at my back in worry. She’s even got one of my hoodies on again, it’s color a solid white without any details. Recently she’s become accustomed to wearing my shirts and hoodies which doesn’t both me, she’s awfully cute in anything if you ask me. Wow that was sappy.

“Are you sure you’re okay enough to go? You can leave Spike in charge of the bachelor party alone” I don’t reply immediately allowing Pinkie to think about more possible worries. “I’ll be fine too! You don’t have to worry so it’s totally okay if you need to sleep the whole time we’re there”

I hadn’t told her it was from the collar making her believe I was coming down with the flu. If I could just make it through the wedding and return journey I could take it off once we get home.

“I’ll be fine… just need some rest. I’m really tired”

“Okay but don’t over do it!”

I nod slowly, closing my eyes in a hope this feeling passes over soon. Each hour that passes I start to feel a little better then the dreadful experience that was this morning. I start to feel better so quickly that Pinkie becomes suspicious, glaring directly at my collar with a frown.

“When’s the last time you took it off mister?”

“I won’t lie it’s been a bit”

“And how longs a bit huh? A few days?” I shake my head no. “Weeks?” Shake again. Her expression falls, “Joey you can’t wear it that much without a break! Here let me take it off” I move away quickly. “Joey there’s nopony else then the girls in here so stop worrying and let me see it!”

I try and dodge her reach only to fail, her hoof sticking straight through its loose hole. I grab it into my own hands attempting to stop her from unlatching it. “Pinkie please I have to wear it!”

“Uh huh now move your hands buster or I’ll bite!” She bites the air several times to prove herself.

“Wait wait wait! I’m telling you I have to wear it!”

Pinkie bites my finger hard enough to make me let go, I pull my hand back with a yelp. In one motion she unlatches it and pulls the collar off my neck and into her saddlebag beside her.

“See? That wasn’t that hard” she innocently smiles.

“Pinkie you have to give me it back”

“No way Jose! Not until we get to Canterlot”

I’m hesitant to tell her my hypothesis. That I might be making her sick as well. Truthfully it might be fact, since I’ve been wearing it more frequently there hasn’t been another Pinkie breakdown like the last time in Canterlot.

“Pinkie… I think I might be making you sick as well”

She doesn’t even bat an eye back my way, instead engulfed in her notebook drawing a bunch of ponies dancing around a disco ball.

“Princess Celestia told us the elements were safe remember?”

“Princess Celestia also lied to me about a whole bunch of shit. I wouldn’t be surprised if she made that shit up”

She stops her drawing, “But wouldn’t that be dangerous? She wouldn’t lie about that if it meant we could get sick too”

“Maybe it wasn’t a lie. Maybe she was guessing but, didn’t really know”

“What did she even lie to you about? That doesn’t sound like Celestia…”

“I really shouldn’t say” I don’t want ponies to panic thinking their leader was some kind of unstable tyrant and telling Pinkie would be step one into making that widespread. I know how bad she is at keeping her mouth closed… unless it’s a pinkie promise!

“Pinkie promise that what I tell you, you keep to yourself and me”

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”

And then I spill the beans, everything. By the end Pinkie sits there conflicted, unsure of what to say.

“I don’t understand… so you need to love yourself to fix it?”

“Yea and she didn’t tell us because she figured I would do it naturally in time. That telling me could take things longer because I’d be subconsciously trying to lie to myself. In a way I guess she was right but, that doesn’t excuse her decision”

“This is… I’m sorry Joey I can’t believe that really happened” she leans into me saddened by the news. “You think that you ‘re making me sick too?” I nod. Her eyes brim with fresh tears ready to spill. “I don’t want you to suffer for me”

“It’s only until I fix it. I’ll be fine after that and we can laugh about this whole thing once it’s over”

A few tears roll down her face and her mane seems to deflate some, “I’m s-scared… I don’t want anything to happen to you. What if you get too sick?”

“I’ll take it off if it get too bad, how’s that?”

“I feel fine all the time though when you have it off. It was only a few times!”

“Pinkie you told me that it was happening a bunch after we moved in together”

She bites her lip caught in a lie, “Please I promised I’d tell you if I felt bad again, just keep it off when we’re alone!”

I don’t have the right to argue with her as she’s the party affected against her will. I have to go with whatever she wants. “Fine” I say while leaning back into Pinkie.

I wrap her with my arm and we hug it out, both needing it desperately. Snuggling for a bit I find myself beginning to calm down and relax once more, Pinkie as well. Unfortunately our little hug session doesn’t last as long as I’d like. When we separate Pinkie wipes her eyes while speaking up.

“Maybe we should talk with the girls and see how Twilight’s doing?”

Thinking about it, I can’t disagree. “I hope she isn’t all worked up still about the wedding”

“Meh, that’s kinda what Twilight does though. She’s always freaking out about stuff!”

Getting up from our seats we push through our privacy curtains and move down into the next cart.

“I don’t blame her. She’s kinda the voice of reason amongst us is she not?”

Pinkie doesn’t seem to hear me over the trains loud commotion. I don’t bother to repeat myself, it wasn’t that important anyway.

We push into the next cart, one that’s a little more fitting for the technology of Equestria. Benches similar to bus seats lined both sides of the train walls, most empty beside the few sitting our friends. When we get close I see AppleJack is having a private conversation with Twilight in the corner, likely giving another pep talk on top of mine.

Least somepony else is looking out for everypony

Pinkie rushes over to the girls with excitement, hopping up and down as she talked about her plans for the party. Meanwhile when I scanned the room I noticed Dash staring my way. She quickly turns around facing out the window. Best I clear this whole shit up before we get there. I start making my way to her only to be stopped by a scaly hand.

“Hey Joey, what do you think should be the theme of the bachelor party? I was thinking either gemstone hunting or maybe something involving dancing”

“Gemstone hunting? Spike it’s Twilight’s brothers bachelor party not yours. How about you ask her what he likes to do and we can plan around that… also aren’t bachelor party’s supposed to be before the wedding?”

“Huh? Well I guess normally they are but, we’re short on time! We’ll have just do it after the wedding and their honeymoon!”

“Kinda defeats the purpose of a bachelor party…”

“Hmm, I guess your right when I think about it. I’ll ask Twilight when we get to Canterlot”

“That’s my boy!” I rub his head a little too hard. “Now who’s gonna host the best bachelor party in Equestria?”

“We are!”

“Damn right! Now I gotta go talk to Dash about something so you keep brainstorming for the two of us alright?”

“Sounds like a plan!” He gives me a little thumbs up.

I start walking before I quickly turn back around and slide into the seat next to him. I get close and whisper into his ear, “and maybe take this whole trip as an opportunity to get closer to Flutters” I pat him on the back and move away before he can protest.

“Hey wait!”

Moving forward I notice Dash had disappeared, no longer in the cart with us. All that remained is an open window where she sat. Peering outside she’s out of sight, nowhere to be found.

“Shit”

I start walking to the back of the train hoping that with the larger sight line I might be able to spot her. Fluttershy seems to notice my intense pace and looks to me with question while I pass by. I give a worried smile and word ‘I’m okay’ while heading out the back.

Thankfully we’re already near the back of the train making my walk short. Reaching the last cart I head outside and lean over the railing looking for Dash.

“Fuck where’d she go?”

“Maybe she doesn’t wanna talk”

The tomboyish voice surprises me. Dash leans over the railing away from me, just out of sight from the door.

“Sorry… didn’t see you there heh” I scratch my neck awkwardly. She doesn’t seem to be too pleased. “Dash I wanna apologize for the way I acted yesterday… I was just pissed off about what you said and I acted completely out of line”

“I don’t actually think Luna’s crazy you know…”

“Yea I figured…”

Awkward silence…

…
…

“Dude are you gonna say something cause this silence is killing me!”

“Sorry! I’m not mad at you or anything but, you shouldn’t talk down on another pony without understanding them a little more. You probably don’t even really know Luna so when you were making it out to seem like she’s a terrible pony… I got mad”

“She’s your friend I get it. I shouldn’t have called her crazy or… ugh I’m sorry alright! There I said it, are you happy?”

“Maybe if I could get a hoof bump”

She seems flustered at the request yet still meets my fist with a bump. “Don’t be such a softy next time”

“Don’t be such an ass!”

We stare daggers into each others eyes until we can’t help but, laugh at our stupidity. “What a dumb thing to get so worked up about. I wasn’t even mad”

I ruffle her mane, “Friends fight sometimes, what are ya gonna do?”

She punches my arm immediately.

“Hey! Ow that fuckin hurt!”

I grab her and start to give her a noogie. She stomps on my foot while I grind her head until the throbbing pain becomes too much.

“Alright you win!” I let go.

Rubbing at her head she floats up in victory, “Course I did! Next time think twice before trying to out wrestle me!”

“We weren’t even wrestling”

“Well what would you call it huh?”

“Fuckin…. I don’t know. How about you go back into the passenger cart and go hang out with the girls!”

“How about you do!”

“I will!”

“Y-yeah but I’ll be there first!”

She bolts off flying overhead clearly cheating. When I go to head back a smiling Fluttershy stands there waiting for me. I open the door and walk with her back.

“I um.. couldn’t help but happen to um.. maybe hear you two talk and I uh.. just thought I should say I’m glad you two made up”

The way she stumbles through the sentence as if she might offend me is adorable. Spike my brother you better make a move soon or some stallions gonna steal yo girl.

“Thanks I guess? Kinda stalky listening to us talk though”

She blushes up, “Well I didn’t mean to… at first anyways. I was worried something was wrong when Dash seemed so bothered. Then I saw you all worried too!”

“It’s nice to know you were worried about us Flutters, that was very kind of you” she smiles happy of what I had to say. “But maybe next time avoid eavesdropping? I know some ponies can get really worked about something like that”

She stops to hold up her hooves, “No no no! I don’t normally do that, please don’t think any different of me because of this!”

I laugh and flip Shy’s overhanging mane once, “I’m only kidding. I know you didn’t mean to it’s just funny to see you get so worked up”

She puffs her cheeks in embarrassment, “I see you’re getting comfortable around Pinkie…”

“Hehe, yes she definitely makes me act more childish”

Blushing brightly she seems hesitant to continue, “S-so um… how are you two… g-getting along?”

“You mean how is our relationship?” She nods. “Pretty good honestly. I mean we’ve had our bruises but I can safely say everything is wonderful!”

“That’s good to hear”

“Haven’t fucked or anything if you were curious”

Her ears shoot up and her face runs red. Putting a hoof to her head she can’t help but faint. I’d gone too far. I catch her before she falls and carry her like a baby back to the girls. They all snicker at the sight of big ole me carrying a snoozing Shy. Pinkie seems a little jealous however, bites her tongue instead of saying anything.

I place Shy down beside a wide eyed Spike. He clearly seems overwhelmed. “What are you doing putting her in my seat!?!”

“What? Can you watch over her until she wakes up? I went a little too far with the jokes”

“B-but, but, how come me? Why are you so persistent in me dating Shy?” He’s says the last part at a whisper.

“Because the best way to get over a crush is to move on and I think Fluttershy is the perfect pony for you. I mean I saw the way you reacted during the Hearths Warming party when she kissed you”

“Any dragon would’ve blushed during that!”

“Oh cmon that wasn’t a blush” I move closer and whisper, “That was love” I wink.

“Stop it! I mean why would Shy think any different of me then Rarity did? You said it already, I’m too young to them and Shy is way too nice for a dragon like me”

“Okay first off Rarity wasn’t interested from the start so it wasn’t a fair attempt. Secondly, you’re like the nicest dude I know. I’m positive Shy thinks you’re a great stallion”

He still seems to lack confidence. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just wait until I’m older and date another dragon. Maybe ponies and dragons shouldn’t mix”

I slap him beside the head. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“Spike what is my species?”

“Uh human”

“And what is Pinkie?”

Stopping for a moment he realizes the point I’m making, “It’s not the same! You’re closer to being a pony then I am”

“These are all terrible excuses! How about this, you promise me to give the same effort you did into courting Rarity into Shy and if you fail I’ll buy you all the gemstones you want” he perks up.

“All of them?”

I gulp, “All of them”

He grabs my hand and shakes it with incredible speed, “You’ve got yourself a deal!” When he lets go I can’t help but feel dizzy and sore.

Has he gotten stronger?

“You won’t regret trying, trust me”

Smiling he happily shows off his fangs, “Either way this is a win-win for me!”

“So you admit you like her?”

Blushing her turns away from me watching over Shy, “Shut up!”

I laugh and head back over to the rest of the girls talking. We joke, we laugh, even play a few card games until our train finally reaches Canterlot. Slowing down in front of the main entrance, a giant pink bubble covers the entirety of the city. To be honest it looks like a huge cartoonish bubblegum bubble. Peering out the window the two guards watching over the bubbles exterior remove their spears allowing us entry into the city. As if those spears would actually stop us.

As we pass through it’s shape, the bubble slips through our bodies leaving a strange sensation behind. It kinda felt like a wave of cold liquid passed through my entire body. Shaking to free myself of the sensation we reach the Canterlot train station and exit the train in an orderly fashion. Pinkie and I carry up the rear as she sneezes a cloud of confetti just as she steps off the train. We all give each other a glance while she continues on like nothing happened.

After walking deeper into the city Twilight suddenly runs off in the direction of a guards post without saying a word. We all watch her as she stops in front of some blue haired stallion clearly upset about something.

“That must be her brother” I say.

“Yes, that is captain of the royal guard Shining Armor” A sudden guard mare speaks up.

“And you are?” Aj asks.

“I’m you’re guide! I’m to lead you each to you’re respective job locations so that you can ready yourselves for the wedding”

“Sweet!” Pinkie shouts. “I’m super ready to get started like right now!”

“Hold on there sugar cube, we still gotta see our rooms as well. Can’t get started on my work if I have nowhere to put ma things!”

Rarity moves over placing a hoof around Pinkies shoulder, “I can’t wait to get started as well dearie but, AppleJack is right. We should let this mare do her job first before getting ahead of ourselves”

Funny enough the only thing I can think about is that I’m proud the group can function without Twilight reeling everypony together. It’s a nice to see the independence.

Our tour begins and the guide drops us off one by one to each of our spots after showing us our rooms. With each location the group shrinks more and more until only me and Spike remain.

“And what is it you two were in charge of again?”

Spike steps forward with pride, “The bachelor party!”

“Oh! Well I guess I should take you directly to Shining himself, assuming he’s not busy of course” she doesn’t seem that confident in what she says making me worry.

I swallow my fear and follow along for another walk, this time heading high up into the guard tower Twilight had run up to earlier. I start to wonder what she exactly said to Shining. Hopefully they made up. Reaching the tippy top of the tower our guide leads us into a waiting room while she checks in with Shining. Spike and I sit there twiddling our thumbs until a large pink mare struts into the room. We share a glance to each other and then back to the mystery mare.

With each step it becomes more apparent her pony features, those being both a horn and wings. I elbow Spike, “Yo I think that’s the bride”

He turns to look at me with shock, “You really think so?” He looks back again for a double check.

“That letter said the bride was a princess and I don’t know any princesses without all the fancy tools”

“Fancy tools? Oh, you mean because she’s an alicorn?”

“Excuse me!” The mare shouts much closer then I last remember. “What exactly is a dragon and a… whatever you are doing in front of my fiancé’s room?”

Her tone is so condescending and rude, she instantly pisses me off. “We’re in charge of the bachelor party and we’re waiting to see-“

She interrupts Spike pissing me even more off. “Isn’t that going to be after my wedding? Can’t you find time later?”

I take charge of the conversation for Spike, “It’ll only take a few minutes”

“And I don’t have a few minutes! I have a wedding to plan and I can’t do it without my fiancé so scram”

Spike seems slightly offended but, starts to get up anyway. I place an arm stopping him, “I think if you really cared about the person you’re marrying you’d let us spend a few minutes with him to plan HIS bachelor party”

She lifts her snout and scuffs, “I DO care about him and that’s exactly why I must seem him for he suffers from headaches from keeping up our protection” she takes a few steps past us to the door before stopping again, “In case you haven’t noticed there’s a giant magic dome surrounding the city”

She then turns around and slams the door behind her. “I guess we should head back and meet with the girls” Spike says dejected.

A fire burns in me of pure anger, “What a cunt! I haven’t met Twilight’s brother yet but, if he’s as great as Twi said he is then I don’t understand why he’d marry a bitch like that”

Spikes eyes widen and he looks around to see if anypony nearby heard my outburst. “Joey you can’t say stuff like that!”

“You mean the truth? Ugh, let’s just go back and meet the others like you said”

Our entire walk back I remained fuming inside. How could such a rude pony be a princess? First there was the Celestia shit and now this? I’m beginning to think that either Luna is a saint or these matriarchal leaders are all bullshit. Thankfully my thoughts are cut short before I make myself any madder at the reaching of our destination.

The whole gang sat around a round table outside a elegant looking shop. Everypony sipped from their smoothies leaving two seats empty for both me and Spike. They even bought us our own shakes as well. Taking a seat beside Pinkie, my smoothie was a mint chocolate chip, an absolutely delightful first sip. I sat back absorbing the conversation and couldn’t help but notice the clearly disturbed Twilight across the table.

Maybe she didn’t make up with her brother

“Princesses Cadance was absolutely stunning in the dress I made for her! It was such a shame she wanted me to change the color scheme but, that is okay. The bride is always right!”

“Yeah and she really liked them apple fritters I made as well”

“She was very considerate when it came to the music. She even pointed out a few things I missed as well like my friend here who’s just a little tinsy bit off tune” The bird on Shy’s shoulder went to sing only to screech an awful sound. I clench my teeth.

“She said my party was like a fillies party! Isn’t that great?!” Pinkie bounced in her seat.

A slam across the table quiets us all, “Am I the only pony that thought she was incredibly rude and horrible?! Not to mention unfitting of marrying my brother!”

Before I can speak up Rarity interjects, “You are being awfully possessive of your brother Twi”

Some of the girls nod in agreement.

“I’m NOT being possessive. She is not the pony I knew when I was a filly, she’s some monster now!”

“Twi, don’t ya think you’re being a little dramatic?”

“Dramatic? She was so awful to me and rude! She didn’t even remember me!”

“It was quite some time ago when she babysat you darling and I would be a little stressed out as well if my wedding was tomorrow. I think you’re going too far”

I go to speak but Twilight suddenly slams her hooves again with a frustrated groan, “If none of you believe me then I’ll have to go and prove it myself!” She runs away before I can get a word in. Spike looks to me shrugging his shoulders.

I lean in and whisper to him, “You think I should go talk to her?”

He shakes his head no, “She might be getting a little worked up about all of this happening so recently. Remember it was kinda sudden news”

I don’t feel right not running her down but, maybe I’m being dramatic as well. Sure she was a complete ass but, that isn’t any reason to call her a monster or call off the wedding. Maybe she’s a good wife to Shining? She did kick us out to help him with his headache…

“Eh maybe your right” I take a large sip from my drink deciding to wait on my judgement. “She might’ve been an ass to us but, she still might be a good pony to him and I guess that’s all that matters”

Spike cringes at my words, “I mean I don’t think anypony should be okay with marrying a bully even if they’re nice to them”

I shrug my shoulders, “Eh, his loss”

He doesn’t bother to argue and instead focuses his attention to his gem filled smoothie. The crunching of an amethyst against his teeth is enough to make me squirm.

“Girls it’s gettin kinda late. I think I’m gunna call it for the night and we can all meet up again at the rehearsal”

“Night AJ!” Pinkie shouts while giving a hug.

“Applejacks right” Dash says while stretching a wing. “I need all the rest I can get if I’m going to be ready for my rainboom”

“Ooh ooh goodnight to you too!” She hops over to hug Dash, stopped by her cyan hoof.

“Why it would be counterproductive to keep working while I’m tired. I shouldn’t waste fine fabric without a clear head. Goodnight girls” Rarity speaks with a smile, walking off with her smoothie floating beside her.

Before Pinkie can run after her I grab the pink blur and stuff her under my arm like a football. “Easy there, we should probably call it too. See ya girls tomorrow” I wave the remaining ponies left goodbye with my baggage still tucked under my arm.

Her nonstop squirming causes me to eventually let her go, leading to a very bouncy Pinkie surrounding me as we walked. Whether it was the days length or Pinkies endless need to run around, she seems to slow down and tire out once we reach our room.

“Looks like somepony finally ran out of battery”

She leaps onto the bed with a loud poof. “Of course I’m out of Pinkie juice! I gotta keep up the energy for the group otherwise who will!?” Suddenly she’s right behind me, “I need to be the beating heart!”

I take off my shoes and relax onto the bed with a leap. “You might feel that way but, I’ll be the first to tell you we just need you for you Pinkie”

“Aww” she climbs on the bed to give me a hug. “That’s one of the nicest things anyponys ever said to me”

“I was only being honest…” I reply, closing my eyes to rest.

“Hey that’s AppleJacks job!”

I stick my tongue out in mutiny. A wet warm feeling pushes against it. I pull it back while opening one eye. “Did you just lick my tongue?”

She falls backwards into a fit of giggles, holding her stomach from laughing. Her laughter is contagious. It ain’t long until I’m laughing along side her.

“Hehe I thought it would be funny, and it was!”

I flip over and pin Pinkie under me, tickling her without mercy. I’m only able to get a few tickles in when she flips me onto my back, now the one pinning me. In her teeth clenched is a collar, my collar.

“Hey woah di-“

She shakes her head no still smiling, “No collar tonight! Pinkie says so”

I bite my lip, “Fine. Tell me if you’re starting to feel not okay though” She preforms the Pinkie promise without saying it aloud. “Alright then you can leave it over there”

Tossing it aside she pounces at my mouth like a carnivore starving for a meal. Wide eyed, I wasn’t ready for such intimacy so suddenly. It’s a welcoming surprise though and I ease into her kiss. We embrace into each other with my one arm wrapped around her waist and my other holding the back of her head. Passionately we begin to speed up, even rubbing against one another. My face heats up and my breath becomes hot. There’s only few seconds of break for what feels like several minutes until we separate. Our eyes still meeting and our breaths desperate. She holds a hunger in her gaze. It stirs the lust within me to desire more. I slowly move my hand lower down her backside while we nuzzle. Right when I’ve reached beyond the point of normal cuddling her already flushed face jolts in surprise.

“Eep!” I pull my hand away uncertain if I’d gone too far. She looks away embarrassed, hiding her face in my chest. She mumbles something to me that I can’t understand.

“Did I go too far? Was that too sudden?”

She slowly nods her head, “I think… I need a little more time”

It’s a shock to hear from the perverse pony. Usually she’s the aggressor only this time when push came to shove she realized she might not be ready yet. Truthfully I’m surprised I even went that far.

“Sorry”

She lifts her head giving me another loving kiss. It lingers a little longer then it should, not helping the issue. “You’re fine”

“You okay?”

“Little horny” she giggles.

“Perv” I flip her overhanging mane into her face.

“You’re the pervy pony this time” she pouts. Her smile quickly falters with time. “I didn’t mean to ruin the mood”

“No it’s totally fine, I get it”

Bashfully she tries struggles to meet my gaze, “I’ve never done…. anything like this before. I’m just a little nervous” she laughs awkwardly.

I pat her mane while kissing her forehead, “I’ll be ready when you are”

She smiles back but, her ears remain flat against her head. “I messed up again didn’t I?”

It’s another breakdown starting and I can tell. In an attempt to snuff the flames I wrap her into a little spoon to cuddle. “Shhh, you’re fine”

With my warm presence against her and my attempt to soothe her with my voice, she relaxes into me. “…sorry” she sounds plagued with sadness.

I stroke her stomach like you would a cat, my face nuzzled into her cotton candy mane. Inhaling her scent I’m overwhelmed with familiarity. “Love you”

She stays silent for a few seconds, “Love you more…” It seems my efforts payed off as we enjoy each other’s company until sleep takes us both.

Next morning the girls and myself were expected to be at the rehearsal early in the morning. The wedding was planned for later in the day so it was important we all preform our parts perfectly. Most of the girls carried tired expressions. Having to sleep in unfamiliar beds seemed to have affected us all. Even Pinkies normally poofy mane was filled with loose hairs in every which way. She still looked cute to me and given last nights events we were practically impossible to separate. Dash was the first to take notice.

She elbows me while princess Celestia speaks with Shining at the alter, whispering, “You two have fun last night?” Her grin tells me all I need to know.

I lean over to her, “Jealous?”

She nearly falls on her face, “No you perv! I only noticed you two are all touchy again like that time at the picnic”

“If it makes you feel any better I’ll have you know we didn’t do anything last night. Feel better?”

She gives me a doubtful expression, “Mmm I guess I’ll take your word this time”

“Okay!” Celestia’s royal voice booms. “Now we have the bridesmaids enter!”

Rarity is the first to turn and look, “The bridesmaids? Princess Cadance as her own bridesmaids?”

Aj shoves her lightly, “Course she has her own bridesmaids!” The rest of the girls attention makes Rarity shuffle a little father back with a chuckle.

Sure enough, three random ass mares I’ve never seen before strut their way across the red carpet down the isle. “Next the flower fillies”

Following her command, the cutie mark crusaders make their way down the isle as well, tossing flower pedals to and fro. “And now our bride”

Making her way from the entrance, the nasty mare from yesterday walks to the alter. I’m able to get a much better look at her now confirming that she is indeed an Alicorn. Her coat a lighter shade of pink than Pinkies and at her hip resides a blue crystal heart cutie mark. She’s even much skinnier then most ponies which is a surprising sight to me, her frame more closely related to that of Luna’s. If I hadn’t know how much of a sourpuss she was at first glance I’d think she was a nice pony. The only strange thing to me about her would be the way she carried herself. Almost like… menacing?

She approaches the alter beside her fiancé and they nuzzle. The girls collectively aw at the sight besides Dash, Spike and I. Those two collectively gag while I look away slightly uncomfortable with the public display of affection. Dash was definitely in the right when she called us out for the kiss the other day.

“And now the ring bearer… where is the best mare?” Celestia looks around puzzled.

During her search her eyes meet mine and she quickly looks away bothered. I keep my stare. I might’ve promised to forgive her and I might even admit she had a valid point but, that doesn’t excuse her actions. Anypony who thinks the ends justify the means surely haven’t experienced ‘the means’.

Shining looks back to his wife to be with disappointment, “I can’t believe she isn’t here! Clearly she doesn’t care enough about her brother to even show up”

“WAIT!” The interruption draws everyponies attention to the entrance. “THAT MARE DEFINITELY ISN’T MARRYING MY BROTHER!”

Looking amongst ourselves it’s tough not to cringe. “Oh brother” Aj says under her breath.

“Twilight! What are you doing!?” Shining yells.

She stops halfway to the alter between us and them, “That mare right there is an imposter! That’s not Cadance at all!”

“Huh?” I accidentally say aloud.

“I saw her last night place a spell on my brother that made his eyes all wacky and she’s been nothing like the Cadance I remember! She’s wicked and evil”

“W-why are you doing this?” Cadance cries out. “I don’t understand what I did to deserve this!” She takes off running toward the entrance leaving us all in shock at what happened.

A smug Twilight sits there so sure she’s right, “Oh yeah, fake cry all you want! I know the truth!”

“Twilight!” Shining’s voice catches her off guard, especially his pissed off expression. “I can’t believe you just did that!”

“Exposed that faker?”

“That spell that you’re so worried about is Cadance helping me with my headaches! In case you haven’t noticed there’s been an uptick in security thanks to a sudden threat on Canterlot so I have to keep up my magic constantly. The only thing helping me was her spells and now you’ve gone and ruined her whole day! I hope this was worth it because you’re not my best mare anymore” strutting past her he stops shy of the entrance. “And I don’t think I can call you my sister either… I have to go find my wife”

He runs away leaving the rest of us in a very awkward scenario. Rarity is the first to speak up, “Come on girls, we should probably go help find Cadance”

“Girls surely you believe me right?” With pained stares they walk past Twi and leave the room as well. I stay where I am unsure what to do.

Pinkie turn back to me to see if I’m coming and I motion that it’ll be just a second. I start making my way to Twilight when Celestia splits between us.

“It seems you still have much to learn Twilight” Hearing the disappointment in Celestia’s voice is the final blow into Twilight’s heart. She sinks into herself weeping.

I feel compelled to say something to Celestia but decide not to. Now is not exactly the time to talk things out between us so instead I make my way over to Twi and kneel down to meet her. We’re the only ponies left in the large throne room.

“Twilight what’s going on? Why did you do that?”

Sniffling she can barely get out any words, “I-I thought… I c-cant be wrong… can I?” She doesn’t lift her head, tears staining the carpet below.

I wrap her in a hug with one arm and sit on the floor next to her. “I’ll hear you out”

My gestures enough to make her lift her head and wipe some tears. “She was never like this when I was young. She was the best babysitter ever! Honestly… she was one of my only two friends, my two best friends. Until I ruined that today apparently” she rubs her nose frustrated.

“What made her the best?”

“Well… first off we had our own special hoof shake. It went sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves and do a little shake. But she doesn’t even remember it now…”

“Are you sure she couldn’t have just forgotten? I mean how long ago was she your babysitter?”

“She wouldn’t have, I know she wouldn’t. That’s why I’m sure she’s a fake! That’s not even counting the weird spell she casted on my brother… my former brother” her voice cracks and I squeeze her tightly.

“Oh stop that he’s still your brother”

“But I tried to ruin his wedding day”

“That doesn’t change the fact he’s your brother. You two share the same blood and that can’t be taken away. Give him some time and I’m sure he’ll forgive you”

She looks to me with uncertainty, “How can you be so sure? Have you forgiven Celestia?”

“You must’ve asked her huh?” I sigh. “I was holding to talk to her sometime tonight honestly. I keep procrastinating but I know I shouldn’t waste this opportunity. Plan was to try and talk to her after the ceremony but after what just happened… I’m not sure what to do”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I can’t just leave you alone like this! What good would that do?”

“But I ruined everything! I was so certain I was right… I still am”

“And maybe you are”

She looks my way surprised, “You believe me?”

“Kinda. Don’t get me wrong it’s tough to prove somepony is a fake without much evidence but, given the way you’ve been behaving about this and the way she acted to me and Spike I think you might have some merit”

“But what do we do? How do I prove she’s a fake without ruining everything if I’m wrong?”

I stand up patting her head, “That’s where you find out yourself”

“You just said you couldn’t leave me!”

“Mentally? Yes, I’m on your team. Physically? I gotta get back to the girls” she sinks back down into the floor again. “Hey” I squat down lifting her face. “I’m on your side, think of me as your inside man”

“Thanks I guess but, I still don’t know what to do”

“I don’t know either but, you’re much better at solving things like this then I am. Tell me whenever you’ve figured something out and I’ll do my best to help you” I give a wink while walking away.

Twi remains seated in the middle of the throne room with watery eyes. She watches me the whole way until I round the corner. Just the thought of leaving her makes me sick in my stomach but, I can’t really help her right now beside letting her know she’s not alone. Hopefully she’s right. It’s a strange thing to hope for but, if she is it’ll fix a lot of the mess she’s stirred up even if it ruins Shinings wedding. Better the wedding gets ruined then he marries a fake I guess.

After not much walking I notice that I’m lost. Having taken so long talking to Twi, I’d fallen behind much too far. Approaching hoofsteps make me spin around to see none other then princess Luna in the flesh. Her eyes are baggy and tired.

“Lulu!”

“Mr. Marshall! It is good that I found you so quickly”

“Hm? How come?”

“We heard that you’d be doing the rehearsal for the wedding so I decided to skip my normal sleep schedule in order to meet. Unfortunately thou was not with the others so I searched on my own. I’m delighted that I found you so soon!” Looking around me she tilts her head in confusion. “You mustn’t travel alone. Have you not forgotten what occurred last time you were here?”

“Lu I’m in the castle right now, how could I be in danger?”

“One can never be too cautious”

“Tell that to Twilight”

“Do explain”

“Alright walk with me, I gotta get my parchment in my room to tell Pinkie I’m okay”

Luna charges her horn after hearing this and makes the parchment appear before us. “Does thou mean this parchment?”

“Thank you” I say without question, quickly writing up a letter to Pinkie before submitting it. I stuff the parchment into the back of my pants under my shirt. “Now what”

“How about we go somewhere more suitable for story telling” charging her horn once more she drapes a wing over me.

My vision darkens and when I’m able to open my eyes again I try to absorb the surroundings. We’d teleported to a familiar room, one I’ve seen before in my dream talks with Luna. It was her own royal bedroom. She lay draped across her bed patting the spot next to her.

“Come, tell me what occurred”

“You know even Pinkie has her limits when it comes to being pervy but, literally inviting me to bed Lu?”

“Oh hush you foal and get over here”

She doesn’t need to tell me twice… technically three times if you count the first time. Climbing onto her bed the mattress’s welcoming feel makes getting comfy easy. I lay between her legs against her stomach, both of us laying on our backs. Her wings and hooves wrap around me protectively. At first when I came to Equestria, such a predicament like this would be absurd however, I seemed to have become more comfortable with ponies high level of affection. Such physical pampering would be a huge no no less than a year ago.

“Do you find this position to your liking?” She gently draws circles on my head with the edge of her hoof.

“Yes but I bet not as much as you do” she giggles squeezing me in a hug from behind.

“Yes, we do enjoy having our favorite cuddle pony over”

“So that’s all I am to you huh? Just a body pillow for you to get your little cuddle fix out with?” I sarcastically question.

“Tis the first time I’ve had the pleasure of being in your actual presence in some time. We would like to at least enjoy the moment if thou doesn’t mind”

“Snuggle up moonbutt and I’ll tell you what happened”

“Indeed, do tell”

“Okay so apparently Twilight has this babysitter she remembers when she was younger right? And so without her knowledge, her brother gets engaged to her and she’s under a different name then Twilight remembers”

“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza”

“Exactly. So she’s all pissed off cause she doesn’t know who it is and her brother didn’t tell her he was getting married. Next thing you know we’re all on a trip here to Canterlot in order to host the wedding and Twi seems super pissed still about the whole thing. Eventually we all do our own tasks and shit but, when we meet up again Twilight is convinced that princess Cadance is a fraud. That she’s nothing like the pony she remembers”

“Truthfully I could not tell you who she might have been before or is now for that matter. I haven’t spent much time during the day not catching up on my rest so our social life is rather lacking”

“Lu as much as I enjoy being your like only best friend, I think you should try and make some other friends beside me”

I can’t exactly see her face but the deep breath she takes behind me seems to tell me enough. “We… I don’t exactly do very well with meeting new ponies. Let alone making friends. Do not worry though for we do not need any other ponies to talk to beside sister and thou”

“You sound like a big shut in”

“We are not a shut in! We simply do not enjoy most other ponies company and would prefer to be alone”

“Sounds like a shut in and I’d know, I am one”

She stops hugging me as tightly and play bites my shoulder. “Thou should be careful unless they wish to be devoured whole”

“Heh, you can be a real foal sometimes you know that?” She bites again only hard enough to make me squeak. “Eeeee stop!”

She lifts her head back laughing. “You are in no position to insult us now continue your story”

“Alright fine but stop getting my shirt all wet with your stupid biting!”

“Then behave more gentlecolt like and we shall treat you as such”

“…maybe learn to talk normal first before you judge others” I whisper under my breath. I can see her face motion just above my shoulder again with her mouth ready to bite. “Alright I was kidding!” She sinks back into the bed still holding me on her chest. “Okay so what was I saying?”

“Twilight believes princesses Cadance is a fraud”

“Oh yes, okay. So Twi runs off and apparently sees Cadance do some weird magic on Shining Armor and thinks she’s messing with him but, he tells Twilight it’s for his headaches. None of us are aware of any of this until the rehearsal where she showed back up and tried to prove Cadance was a fake”

“And was everypony convinced?”

“Absolutely not. Matter of fact, Cadance ran off crying. Shining said some nasty stuff and Celestia seemed super upset. Even the girls were disappointed enough to walk away without saying anything to Twilight”

“Did thou walk away as well?”

“No I went over and talked to her for a little bit. Honestly I’m kinda worried for her. I want her to be right so everything goes back to normal but that would mean this princess Cadance would be… who knows!”

“Hm, this appears to be most upsetting news if Twilight Sparkle is indeed in the wrong” she lets me go and spins me around to face her. “And what do you think?”

I sit myself up scratching my head, “I don’t know really. I’ve never heard of any pony being able to look like another pony before but, what do I know”

Luna seems lost in thought, unsure what to think. I lay next to her on the bed brainstorming myself. Could a pony really fake themselves into another pony? It doesn’t seem far fetched given half my experienced here. What kind of danger could we be in if a princess had been faked?

“Lu if she’s right, what kind of danger are we taking about?”

She falls onto her back beside me, “Princess Cadance is the weakest alicorn between the three of us. She’s the princess of love so without her husband there isn’t much power she could produce”

“And with her husband?”

“She can be more powerful then even my sister” she says with a smile. “The power of love shouldn’t be underestimated my little pony”

I shudder, “Wow that sentence was cheesy”

She bats me with a wing, “Says the stallion with a fear of commitment”

“I don’t have a fear of commitment!”

“Then what is stopping us from courting?”

“Not commitment!”

She gives me a peck on the cheek, giggling at my bewildered look, “I find you quite amusing to speak with. Thou should look for more time with us, we would appreciate it dearly”

I blush, “You’re um… I like talking with you too”

She brightly smiles and pulls me into her chest, “Now give us some cuddles of our own. We most certainly deserve them so for the lack of time you spend with us”

I don’t argue, closing my eyes to enjoy her company. “Sorry… I’ll try to find more time”

“Do not worry. We know you care dearly for us and that is sufficient enough”

“You lie”

“… okay we do selfishly wish to spend more time with thou but, understand your inability to meet my demands”

“I think I could do better and I’ll definitely try”

She holds me against her still while rubbing my back, “Do not fret. I will be fine however, if there is a looming threat within the castle walls we shall protect you from any danger”

“I know you will Lu, I know you will”

Fast forward a few cuddle hours and one tuxedo fitting later, I realize just then that I’m about to attend a royal wedding. A wedding with SEVERAL ponies in attendance. I can’t help but sweat at the thought.

“Calm down sweetie, I can see you sweating from over here!” Rarity yells from across the room.

“I can’t fucking help it! There’s like- “ I peak around the corner into the main room. There’s almost a hundred ponies in there preforming various jobs and preparing their seats. “- a thousand ponies out there!”

“Calm down. It’ll be over before you know it”

“They’re gonna stare at me because of my collar. It’s going to be so fucking awkward holy shit. Ugh, I might pass out” I fan myself with a pamphlet. I’m not at panic attack status yet but, the ways things are going it’s only a matter of time.

Rainbow Dash and Flutters enter the room as well. Dash instantly noticed my worried behavior and starts walking over. “Dude like calm down”

“Calm down? You do know how bad I am with crowds right? Especially ones where…. oh fuck I forgot about my scars as well!”

She takes a hold of me shaking my shoulders, “Hey get a hold of yourself! Nopony is gonna notice you when they seen me out there!”

I grab her out of the air holding her under the front forelegs, “Dash nopony knows who you are!”

Flying out of my grasp she angrily glares at me, “Course ponies know who I am. I’m the fastest flyer in Ponyville! Hell, in Equestria!”

I sit down wiping the sweat from my forehead on a napkin, “It’s awfully nice to see how optimistic you are but, do they really need me to attend the wedding? Like REALLY need me?”

“Course we need you Joey” Shy speaks up. “Princess Celestia, Shining, and Cadance are counting on us to make sure everything goes right”

“Can’t I do that from behind the scenes?”

Aj sneaks up behind me and wraps a hoof around my back, “Course ya can’t, we need ya more then Dash needs her share of Apple family cider”

“Yeah there’s no way I’m needed that much, Dash is a drunk or something” she punches my side at the comment.

“Pinkie!” Aj shouts out the room. “Pinkie get in here and help Joey get ready for the weddin!”

“Ready?” Pinkie asks suddenly behind us all. I place a hand to my chest in shock.

“Holy sh- Pinkie you can’t be doing that all the time!”

The rest of the girls disperse to focus on their own jobs leaving Pinkie alone to help me. “Can’t be doing what?”

“Fuckin… I don’t know, Pinkie I can’t go out there I’ll die”

“You’ll die?!” She yells out shocked. “Are you allergic to weddings? How come you never told me before? We’re so close to the starting ceremony we gotta get you out of here before-“

“Pinkie I can’t deal with all of those ponies out there, you know crowds make me uncomfortable”

“But on Nightmare…” she stops her sentence short remembering what occurred on that day. “Sorry, but you’ve dealt with crowds before”

“Yes but, it was all dark and shit. No too many ponies paid me much attention. Out there though?” I point to the entrance hall. “After the news broke on my kidnapping and my scars? They’re gonna look at me, all of them. I can’t handle that”

Sitting down beside me she hold my hand with her hoof, “Sure you can. I know you can” I’m not convinced but, appreciate the positive thinking. “Do you know what I do if I’m worried about ponies staring at me?”

“What’s that?”

“I think about all the great ponies I know that don’t care about the way I act and what I say. That they’ll love me for me no matter what! Because of those ponies I don’t have to worry about anypony else because they’re the ones that really care about me and they’re the only opinions that matter” she smiles brightly nuzzling against my hand. She blushes lightly, “And knowing that you love me really helps too…”

I’m still terrified, my heart racing, stomach churning. It would be impossible for me not to worry. Yet after hearing Pinkie tell me why she’s okay with being thought of as weird I feel a small amount of confidence within myself building. Even if they do stare, even if it’s uncomfortable and worrisome, I know that if things get too bad I have ponies to help me get through anything. It’s all I need to sit up and build my resolve. I look down to Pinkie and hold out my arms for a standing hug which she obliged. At the end we share a small kiss and I whisper to her a ‘thank you’.

“I think I’m ready”

“Well I know you’re ready!” Pinkie shouts with a leap. “Now let’s get out there and party!”

“Pinkie” Rarity stops her, “There’s no partying until after the ceremony. Please do remember that” her voice slightly worried. Pinkie gives her best salute, “Aye aye captain!” And off we went.

Lining up along the red carpet, the girls, Spike, and I were dressed in Rarity’s finest work. The phenomenal detail that went into each of the girls dresses was outstanding. Each highlighting their own uniqueness while maintaining a proper attire for the occasion. Spike and I although wearing less flashier clothing were equally as impressive looking. Rarity allowed me to pick out the color scheme for my fit and I went with entirely black, even down to the bow tie. It might appear almost funeral like to these ponies but, to me it was stylistic to what I enjoyed. Simplistic, sleek, and sharp. As they say, black is thinning and I appeared rather dashing if I do say so myself.

Ignoring everypony’s outfits there was still an issue at hand. Nopony had seen or spoke with Twilight since the rehearsal. Alarming at first, now catastrophic. If she didn’t find proof of falsehood then surely she’d arrive on time right? Right?!? And that’s what bothered me. I knew who Twilight was and who she could be at her worst. Stubborn to the core. I feared that even without the much needed proof she still wouldn’t show… or even worse show without proof! I just wanted things to work out and not be so awkward.

The ceremony continued on and with each passing minute I grew more restless. My assumption of myself getting lots of attention was somewhat right. While most ponies did focus toward princess Celestia and Shining, I still got the side eye from a bunch of suspicious ponies. I didn’t blame them but, I sure did hate them for their continued staring. Thankfully I stood near the back of our group where Pinkie held my shaking hand as we waited. Just like rehearsal we went through each step properly without issue until the moment we all dreaded. Celestia once more looked out to the entrance and asked for the ring bearer. Sadly Twilight was nowhere to be seen creating a moment of pause and murmuring. Each second was painful until Twilight came rushing through the entrance yelling.

The girls collectively groaned in discomfort. Aj even mumbled a “not again”.

“WAIT!” She shouted, stopping in the same location she had earlier in the day. Her mane was fizzled and her coat dirty. She looked like she’d been through the ringer.

Cadance was the first to speak, “Why do you insist on ruining MY- our wedding day!?”

“Because your not the real Cadance!” She then turns revealing another pony following behind her. Surprisingly enough it’s a pony of matching description to Cadance herself! Although much dirtier and wounded like Twilight, she was the exact same pony.

“Holy shit” I whisper. “Girls I think Twi was right!”

“HAHAHA!” The dressed Cadance mockingly laughed. Her voice now altered and strange as if she were speaking with an auto tune. “IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU PONIES ANYWAY NOW!”

Taking to flight, she levitates into the air surrounded by green magic while her body slowly deteriorated into a back form. Her legs became riddled with holes and her horn much longer and sickly. The color of her coat became a strong black with a slick shine. She almost resembled more of a bug then pony. Finally her face became lean, her eyes green and snake like. Light lashes of her reptilian tongue built her strange appearance even farther away from a pony.

“I AM QUEEN CHRYSALIS, LEADER OF THE CHANGELINGS AND I NOW SHALL TAKE OVER CANTERLOT BEFORE THE REST OF EQUESTRIA!”

Her shouts echoed throughout the halls causing a mass panic. Most of the ponies screamed in terror, running for the exit. The girls and myself scurried closer to Twilight, ready for action. I might’ve been terrified at the threat this new enemy posses but, it was a whole lot better then sitting in that wedding.

Cadance stood forward with confidence, “Your plan ends her Chrysalis! You’ve been exposed and surrounded!”

”And you shall not lay a hoof upon my little ponies”

Celestia now floated behind her with an elegance and power I had never seen. You could feel the power emanating from her being, circulating through the room. With a shot of her horn the strange bug queen defended herself with a shot of her own. Shining went to help as well yet fell the instant he began charging his horn. Twilight ran over to him and the rest of us kept our distance. In a tug of war of power, the bug queen slowly overpowered Celestia causing an explosion, sending her across the room in a skid. Cadance ran to take Twilights place as she ran off to her teacher.

“MUAHAH. With the power of Shining Armors love for you, I am even stronger then princess Celestia!” Her excitement was evident by the way she finished saying Celestia, an emphasis on the tia.

I knew things were bad now. I never thought anypony could be stronger then Celestia. My brain racked for ideas.

Luna? I need to find Luna!

“Girls!” I grabbed them into a huddle. “I’m going to find princess Luna, I need you all to go to Twilight and figure out what to do next”

Pinkie pulled at my coat, “I’m coming with you!”

“No!” I pushed her hoof away. “You’re one of the elements! You all need to stick together. Twilight said you used the elements on Discord correct? Actually, can’t you use them again now?”

Twilight broke into the huddle, “Girls we need to get to the elements!” Twi seemingly answers my question.

“AND WHERE EXACTLY DO YOU PONIES THINK YOUR GOING?”

“RUN!” Twilight shouted leading us into an all out scramble away.

Stumbling I rip my coat off to gain some mobility and untuck my shirt. The girls rush outside into an army of black bug like ponies. Their wings similar to a dragonfly’s and their hooves littered with holes as well. They even had small fangs protruding from their mouths. Internally I panic at the sight of them getting surrounded yet I turn my head and continue onward. I can’t afford to waste time. Through several similar looking hallways I rush past guards running to cover the entrances, asking a few the direction to Luna’s bed chambers. One stallion guard is kind enough to guide me most the way once I explain the situation. Around the last turn, the windows in the hallway are blown out and a battle has commenced between the guards and bugs.

I grab a fallen guards spear nearby and rush forward toward the fight, spearing an unprepared bug pony into the wall. His shell like body crunches like a roach against the spear leaving a sickly noise. Blue guts spew onto the end of the blade making me almost vomit. Kicking the bug off my spear I spin around to help another guard in his fight. My length and size makes keeping the bugs at bay much easier then for a stallion. Another helpful advantage was the bug ponies slow speeds, their physical abilities clearly lacking to that of a regular pony. What they lack in speed they make up for in number however, as between myself and the 6 guards there’s at least 15-20 of those monsters. Thankfully we were the only ones armed.

I keep the spear far away from me settling for several pokes on each enemy. One I get from behind, another by using the spear more like a staff. With my advantages I’m still much worse fighting then the guards as they quickly dispatch of the rest without issue. Once finished with the fight I hurry over to Luna’s bedchamber only to be stopped by one of the guards.

“Halt! Our orders are to protect the princess and let nopony through!”

“Can’t you see we kinda need her help?!”

Clearly he seems conflicted yet doesn’t budge, “I cannot let you pass”

“Look you just saw me fight with you did you not? Clearly I’m on your side now let me in!”

He pushes me back, “I know exactly who you are and I know your importance to the princesses as well however, I have direct orders from princess Celestia to not let anypony through during emergencies no matter what!”

I drop the spear, “Either you’re gonna move or I’m going to move you”

The surrounding guards take up their spears unsure of what to do. He waves them off and drops his own. “I will oblige to your request however any injuries you receive will be to no fault of my own, got it?”

“Cmon pony, bring it”

Now here’s where you’re probably like, ‘fuck yeah he’s gonna kick that pony’s ass’. In one swift move he sweeps my legs and power slams my head with his other hoof. Dazed, my ears ring from such a serious blow. I can’t even get my legs to stand. “Stay down!”

My nose bled, he stepped slightly on the front half of my face with his slam. I pulled the spare handkerchief from my pants pocket and ripped it apart, stuffing it into my nose. Soon as I could stand again I walked back up to the stallion.

“Cmon fucker I ain’t dead”

“Human I will not hesitate to put you down, do not continue!”

Again he moves forward but this time I take advantage of my length. With a leap back at his pounce I’m still able to reach him with a punch across his face. He’s barely dazed and tackles me into the wall. With a slam I feel the wind get knocked out of me. I gasp for breath while the stallion stands near.

“Please stay down for both of us”

He turns away but I grab his leg. He stops and goes to stomp my face. Catching his leg I trip him before getting up to lift him into the air with a spin. Throwing him against the door leading into Luna’s room with a thunderous crash, his armor clunks together leaving him in serious pain. He’s tough however and quickly races his way over to me with fury in his eyes. I fail to dodge most of his of kicks until I’ve fallen down to the ground. Lifting both his hooves into the air like a wild horse he prepares to slam me one last time.

“ENOUGH!” Luna’s voice booms!

The guard with lightning speed spins around and salutes the moon princess as she approaches. Her intense and tired glare burns into the stallion until she looms over him. “Did we not specify the importance of Mr. Marshall’s health?”

She looks to my downed form with empathy before tuning back to the stallion in rage. “Your inability to follow instruction has been made clear and it would be best if you vanished from my sight at once! Make yourself useful and take this unit to the front lines, maybe there you shall find a purpose dying for the ponies of Equestria” her voice is unusually cruel and disturbing. I’d never heard her speak in such a way before.

He nods and rushes off with his spear in tow. Luna scoops me up and leans me against her into the room where I collapse onto the floor in pain. “Oh Joey what have you done! You fool! Thou could’ve died!”

“Lu you gotta help the others…” I struggle between gasps. It’s difficult to catch my breath but it feels like nothings seriously injured.

“What has happened? I don’t understand”

“Twilight was right, there’s some evil queen bug bitch fucking shit up!” I spit some blood from my mouth.

Luna begins to charge her horn, showering me in a golden glow. I can feel her healing warmth take affect almost immediately. I can only describe it as euphoric. “Has my sister not been notified of the threat?”

“That’s the thing… she lost her fight”

Luna’s focus drops for a moment causing the spell to flicker. “She has not fallen in battle has she?”

“No I think she’s fine. Probably in better shape them me” Sitting down to focus she seems in no rush. “Lu stop wasting time with this and go help them!”

“If you believe I could defeat an enemy that defeated my sister then you are a fool. I might be more skilled then her in combat however, in pure power she is much stronger”

“But you can’t do nothing!”

“It would appear right now doing nothing is our only option. We should treat thou’s wounds and access the situation instead of blindly rushing in”

“Fine, I’ll tell you all I know but it isn’t much”

“Any knowledge is an advantage”

“Okay so the queen bug is super powerful and her minions are kinda trash. There’s too many of them though for us to fight so we need to take out the queen if we have any chance. Cut the head off the snake”

“Where are the elements of harmony? Were they not with you?”

By now I feel good enough to stand up, “They were but, I thought we should split up. Twilight and the girls went to find the elements while I went to get you. By the way why were those guards not helping against the invasion?”

She shakes her head in frustration, “Likely Celestia’s doing. She worries for my safety and likely wished to protect me during my slumber” she turns to me and gives a quick hug. “We must say it was rather brave of you to leave the others to find me”

“It was the only thing I could think of”

Luna pulls the handkerchief from my nose with her magic, disposing of it in the trash. “And could thou think of a weakness this ‘bug’ pony might possess?”

“Uhh… no not really. I mean I barely got out of the throne room alive Lu”

Pacing around the room she racks her brain for an idea. “This pony defeated my sister in combat alone?”

“Technically yea but, she said something about using Shining’s love”

“Love?…. Actually an idea does come to mind”

“Alright spit it out”

“Follow me and I shall explain along the way”

We move out of her room stealthy, checking both ways down the halls before moving forward. Riding against the wall away from windows we stay quiet until we’ve reached the first floor. Luna has us travel through a secret hidden door leading to a secondary entrance into the throne room.

“Originally this path was an escape route however, we will be using it unconventionally”

I follow close behind using my height to peak over her at what’s next. “So what’s the big plan?”

She opens a large door built into the wall, peaking through a small crack she’s made to observe the throne room. “This exit is behind where the throne normally sits. Due to the wedding ceremony there is no throne so when we act we must act with precision” I nod. “Now like we told you before, princess Cadance can be more powerful then even Celestia so with the power of Shining’s love there still might be a chance”

“What about the elements? Aren’t those good enough?”

“Maybe thou should take a look” she walks backward away from the crack.

I move to investigate and see the girls trapped by some sort of green goo. Their hooves all stuck to the ground, ponies with horns stuck with goo upon their head. Cadance remained stuck with the others and Celestia, all close by each other.

“Cadance is stuck with that gross shit though. How are we supposed to get her over to Shining?”

“We were hoping for a distraction”

I give her a death stare, “Are you fucking kidding? She’s gonna kill me in like 2 seconds if I go out there”

“No that is unlikely. She hasn’t even finished any of the other prisoners she has captive. I worry she keeps them for plans much sinister than we know of” she gives me a smile. “Don’t worry! We shouldn’t let any actual harm come to thou. At worst you might find yourself entrapped like the others”

“You know I have no special powers or any fighting ability what so ever”

“That’s fine. We were hoping you’d use the skills you are good at, like meaningless conversation”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We shouldn’t waste time arguing Joey”

“Fuck…. okay. I’ll distract her and you free the others” I peek again.

The disgusting bug pony seems to be wrapped up with something else, distracted with another individual. Turning back to Luna I motion to go now. She pulls me back before I move forward, “We will go on your move”. Nodding she rushes past me through the door and hurries along the side of the wall. I creep my way across the other side of the room nervously watching the large evil mare.

Standing in front of two of her little bugs, she barks at them in anger. “WHERE IS THE LUNAR PRINCESS?! WE CANNOT GO FOWARD WITHOUT ENSURING HER CAPTURE!!”

Shaking beneath her rage the bug nods, “Sorry queen Chrysalis, we will continue our search my queen”

“Go and find her at all costs! Take as many units as you require to complete your mission lieutenant! Do not return without the princess our we shall have your essence for dessert” she licks her serpent tongue across her lips.

Saluting the two bugs fly off leaving the alter side of the throne room rather unguarded. Most of her units still remained near the entrance making this plan of Luna saving the others actually feasible. It’s the boost of confidence I need.

Looking around I grab a softball sized piece of rubble likely left from the Celestia fight. I jump out from behind a pillar and throw the rubble toward Chrysalis. She turns to see my terrible throw landing much shorter than anticipated.

“Pathetic! A feeble attem-“ her attention is draw to my body, scanning me with excitement. “What is this? Aren’t you a strange looking pony”.

Frozen in fear from her gaze I take a few seconds to respond, “Nice one coming from the mosquito”

She slowly floats over to me placing a hoof under my chin. It’s now I realize she has me in her magical grasp. Green ooze makes its way up my legs as she talks. “My my, what a strange looking individual you are indeed”

I move my head away from her hoof only to be forced back with magic. “Fuck off!” I grunt.

“Feisty!” She traces her hoof down my body lifting my shirt to expose my bare skin. “I’m rather curious to what you might be hiding underneath all those layers”

I stare over her shoulder to see the progress Luna has made. Both Twilight and Celestia are freed however my attention causes Chrysalis to spin around. “AGHK! THE MOON PRINCESS! AFTER HER!”

A large horde of buzzing bug ponies burst through the windows and entrance rushing the ponies. Given Celestia‘a weakened state she’s quickly taken down again. Luna pulls from her magic a large halberd, it’s blade a crescent moon. She swings violently into many of her endless foes, each occasionally slipping in a hit. Distracted from them Chrysalis makes her move over her and charges her horn.

“Lu!”

My words fall on deaf ears as she struck into the wall with such force that the building shakes. Smoke puffs into the air and rubble trickles from the ceiling. She lay defeated next to her halberd. I start to panic at the thought of our failure.

It didn’t work…. we’re gonna fucking die

Chrysalis faces me with her serpent stare, baring fangs. “Now we can focus on my newest treat” she hisses as she speaks.

My heart almost stops, a cold sweat coming over me. I start reliving Nightmare Night all over again. The stripping, the cold air against my body, the smell, the… feeling. I close my eyes begging for it to stop.

“Not so fast!” Twilight yells. Standing on the alter somehow both her and Cadance had made their way over to Shining.

“HA! Shining is under my control! There is no pony powerful enough here that can defeat me!”

Cadence leans into him, brushing horns against each other. Shining’s eyes seem to light up with life again. He shakes his head confused.

“W-what? What happened?”

“We must save the others my love” realizing the situation they combine their magic together creating a large glowing light emulating from their horns. It pulsates a red glow, enough to make Chrysalis attack in a panic. Her beam is stopped by another, a magic created suddenly from the couple. It’s power intensifies until a large shockwave sends the mad queen and her bugs flying away out the building. Like a Pokémon episode she blasts off like team rocket until she’s a speck in the sky.

Shining collapses into Cadance. Rubbing my wrists I notice the rest of us were freed from our bindings as well. A pink blur slams me into the ground.

“JOEY! I’m so glad you’re safe! Oh I saw you and Luna acting all sneaky and I thought you might save us and then you did that stupid and threw the rock and then the scary mare got you and I was soooo worried she might hurt you but Luna saved the others and the bad mare is gone now and-“

“Pinkie it’s okay! I’m fine”

Lifting her head to see me she has tears streaking down her face with a trembling smile. She can only nod before burying her face into me. I wrap her in a hug as Luna makes her way over to me supported by her sister.

“See? We were right, no harm to you at all”

“Luna you almost died! That plan was something out of a kids movie”

“We do not know what this ‘kids movie’ is that you speak of but, it must be rather informative to hold such full proof plans”

I shake my head, “Please don’t almost die next time Luna. It would really suck”

“We never intended to be spotted so quickly! If thou had convinced the demon more thoroughly I could’ve saved the others as well!” She pouts.

“Kinda fuckin hard when she’s giving me the rape eyes!”

She flinched at my words, “We are sorry”

“It’s fine… I’m just glad everypony is okay”

“Yes, it is rather fortunate that nopony got hurt” Celestia remarks. “And we have you and my wonderful sister here to thank. It was awfully brave of you to risk your life for the others even with your capabilities”

I roll my eyes, “I’m not handicapped…”

“No you are not but, In the face of a power greater then myself you faced adversity without hesitation”

Her praise makes me feel uncomfortable, “I didn’t have a choice really”

Twilight makes her way over to us all smiling, “Thank you for believing me Joey… it really meant a lot that somepony stayed by my side. I was worried I might be crazy!”

Shit more praise, “That mare seemed kinda shady though. It wasn’t a far stretch to believe”

A painful bite from below on my arm catches me off guard. “Stop being such a doofus and say you’re welcome!” Pinkie shouts.

We collectively laugh and I rub Pinkie poofy mane in embarrassment. She escapes my hold and places a huge kiss on my lips. Rainbow Dash whistles in the background adding to my flushed face.

“I guess you’re right Pinkie. I shouldn’t try and belittle everything I ever accomplish otherwise I never give myself a chance from the beginning. How could I hope to get any better if I don’t like the things I do that are good”

“Exactly!” Twi says while patting me on the shoulder. “It’s perfectly fine to have pride in yourself, especially if it’s well deserving!” Everypony nods in agreement leaving me unsure of what to do with the attention.

“I guess you could put that in your journal like the friendship reports I write to Celestia”

“Actually” Celestia interjects, “If your friends wouldn’t mind. I would like it if whenever any of you have something you feel is worthy of a friendship report, please do write me a letter of your own. I would love to hear the lessons” Smiling we all agree and I make sure after once we’ve cleaned up to write one of my own.

It’s the next day and the entire throne room has been cleaned. Luna now stands present beside her sister near the alter and the rest of us are back in our previous places. Twilight presents the rings and they both place them upon their horns in matrimony. Standing up we all clap and cheer, happy for the new couple on their wedding day. I whisper over to Rarity.

“Hey, what do two earth ponies do for a ring since they don’t have the horn?”

“Well it’s still common to see hoof rings haven’t you noticed?”

Thinking back? No.

We clear out the palace and head into the garden where the party his being held. Things take off fast and Pinkie rushes over to host the event leaving me alone with my drink. Checking myself out in the reflection of a window I still look dashing in my suit even with the few bandaids covering my head. I even shaved my face some and cut my hair for the occasion.

Spike makes his way over to me excited. “I thought of a really good idea for the bachelor party!”

“Lay it on me smalls” I swirl my drink before taking a sip.

“What if we went sky diving!”

I spit my drink out, “What if we didn’t!”

“But Twilight told me that Shining likes to do adventure stuff”

“How about camping? Sound good? Sounds great. All righty now that that’s planned-“

“Camping? Well I guess that works too…” he seems kinda bummed out.

“*sigh* all right we can sky dive…”

“Really? You mean it? Oh he’s going to be so excited when he hears it! The girls are really gonna miss out!”

“Uh huh” I nervously take another drink. “They sure will”

He runs off leaving me alone again. Looking around the party most the ponies are off enjoying themselves and having fun. I watch Spike run off and talk to Fluttershy next. That’s my boy! Seeing all the happy faces I can only think of one thing. Pinkie really did a good job.

“Your marefriend did a fine job with this party don’t you think so?” Celestia’s voice chimes from behind me.

“Yep… she really did” insert tense awkwardness.

We both start at the same time, “I-“

“It-“

“Sorry you first”

“No I insist”

“Celestia please god”

“I wanted to apologize to you directly”

“You don’t have to I get it. You thought-“

“No, you seem to misunderstand. What I did was unacceptable and uncharacteristic of me” I stop swirling my drink to give her my full attention. “I never intended to keep that secret from you as long as I did but, as time went on I truly believed it was the correct decision. Only now when I look back that I realize, it wasn’t my choice to make. I should’ve told you as soon as I learned. For that I completely understand if you do no wish to speak with me again. I shall grant whatever request-“

“Celestia it’s fine… really. I can’t stay mad forever over something that doesn’t even really change anything. I’m still going to be sick, and I’m still going to be friends with Luna and Twilight.” She seems confused at the relevance of the last part. “So if I’m going to be friends with them… I kinda have to make up with you. We’re probably going to be seeing each other a lot anyways”

She lowers her head with a bow, “I am humbled by your forgiveness. Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from you myself”

“Please!” I shake my hands uncomfortable with her gratitude. “Raise your head! I didn’t do anything!”

She giggles walking past me into the castle, “Ah but, you did” She’s stops short of the door. “You taught me a valuable lesson in individual freedom. Perhaps I should look into giving the ponies of my country more say over what happens. One pony clearly can’t make decisions for every pony under her rule” she flashes me a wink and then disappears into the dark hallway.

Slowly I was indoctrinating the princess into democracy. She didn’t even know. Luna interrupts my childish daydreaming and brushes her face against my own. I blush at the gesture placing a hand to the spot.

“If it isn’t my stallion in shining armor. How was thou’s conversation with my sister?”

“Good… we’re sorta on equal terms again I guess”

“Tis music to our ears! We are so proud of you!” She wraps me in a tight hug.

“Aw shucks it was nothing”

“Thank you, I’m sure it wasn’t easy to forgive her but, you won’t regret it! She is certain to be helpful to you and a good friend beyond this point, we swear it”

“Woah woah wish, who said anything about friends?”

“Surely you jest”

I shrug, “Who knows maybe one day we could be friends but, I wouldn’t count on it”

“Still, joyous news! She is sure to accept our courtship in the future!”

I look around to see if anypony heard, “Lu easy there! What if somepony heard you! I don’t need that attention right now!”

She laughs to herself, “Ah we forgot. A celebration for another time, for tonight-“ she raises a drink to mine. “We celebrate the matrimony of Cadance and Shining!”

“Hear hear!” I chant downing my whole glass. “Normally I’m not a Chardonnay type guy but, the wine here tastes like grape juice”

She moans in agreement, “Hmm, yes the finest white wine in Celestia’s collection. She wouldn’t normally pull from her own private stash except on special occasions like tonight”

Star gazing I fill my drink, “And you seemed to go all out tonight on your sky. It looks almost as stunning as you”

She blushes, “We thought we were the flirtatious one!”

“More like aggressive”

“Aggressive? I am a gentle soul”

“You bit me… twice”

“Speaking of biting, would you care to join me in having some of the cake? I haven’t had anything to eat in some time”

“Sure”

We make our way over to the large wedding cake and enjoy our slices. Some of the girls join us and we have a great time talking about the day. It’s not until Twilight makes a big announcement and sings a song for her brother and new sister-in-law that we all join together outside on the street to wish them off for the honeymoon. Twi and Shinning have a little moment and then say their goodbyes until next time. He steps into the chariot and they ride off down the street, tied cans bouncing behind them with the words, ‘Just married’ painted on the back. Spike suddenly leaps onto my shoulders nearly tipping me over.

“Wait til you see what we have planned for the bachelor party!” We all share a laugh and I give Spike a fist bump. What a weird wedding.