Life had come to a screeching halt, an awkward place. Balanced between okay and screaming internally, I could only hope the last twenty four hours were all but a fluke. Alas this wasn’t the case. A slumbering Pinkie Pie still hugged around my waist and a concerned beauty Luna still remained absent. Then there was I, exactly where I last left off in my hopeful dream of a yesterday.

So badly did I urge to toss and turn, scream to the god above why I must be cursed to carry this burden and yet receive no answer. A human embodiment of plague and for some reason oddly alluring to the innocently minded ponies around. They were almost drawn to me as a moth to light unknowing of the danger I posses. How I could make them suffer from the simplest mistake. Such a responsibility too burdensome for one to carry and so in that sense I chose other ways to bide my thoughts, to keep unwarranted anxieties at bay.

With my frustration building I made sure to slip away from Pinkies anaconda grip with a simple kiss and whisper, “Take it easy today love” and remove myself promptly as to not wake her.

Taking a bundle of clothes I get dressed in my living room. Khaki shorts, black socks, a long sleeve white shirt and a baseball cap similar to the one I first brought with me. Lastly I check for my collar, loosely clipping it around my neck. Strangely enough it was the most important part of my outfit for all the wrong reasons. I was no fashionista but, I still knew how horrible it ruined every fit.

Slipping on my already tied shoes I shut the door behind me and lock it, making sure my precious wittle Pinkster gets her much needed rest without any distractions. Yes it may seem absurd given Equestria’s lack of crime however, you’re missing the forest for the trees. With this level of comfort many times ponies will invite themselves right in, literally. My house was one of the few with an actual lock and even after I insisted it many of the girls couldn’t understand why. Specially Pinkie.

I liked my privacy and I guess they’d need to experience the pleasure of ignoring others for a day to truly understand. Nothing says a me day like putting the phone on silent and never replying to a single text, only in Equestria change all of that to pretending not to be home. It almost works every time.

With a slightly colder breeze than usual the summer weather must have been coming close to an end. Sure the summers were long here and the fall rather long too but, I was a winter man and I missed it dearly given the short time I had to enjoy it. Also most of my outfits kinda fit the winter and my past found familiarity with colder temperates. Call it homesickness if you will.

I was getting distracted albeit a good thing in this context, I needed to focus on what my original plan was. Eureka! To head over to all my friends or most and see if there’s anything I could do to help, just like old times, but where to first?

Given Fluttershy is my literal neighbor it would only be fitting to check with her and so I headed down the dirt path separating our two homes.

Small hills of grass made up most the plains of Ponyvilles outskirts where farm land did not reside, the open vastness leaving the sounds of town to disappear before ever reaching me. A quiet trip indeed left only disturbed by occasional drafts of wind. One could consider this tranquil, a haven for drifting thoughts or daydreams many of which unpleasant in my specific case.

I didn’t need the time to think rather I’d prefer I had none, busy and away from pointless squabbling or anxieties. My character was flawed this I knew, only a solution to avoid such thinking I still hadn’t managed. Only if it were simple as solving an equation or a puzzle.

A puzzle… a good moniker to label my current life. If I only knew what I was doing. Here I was so distracted in solving my illness that failed to see what lay after. What was I to do? Sure it would be nice to have a cutie mark to give me a clue but, I wasn’t a pony. There was the suggestion however, made by Lu, to be her advisor. This I was surely incapable of doing at least without years of experience and I wouldn’t put Equestria’s people at risk for experience. Celly would likely stop anything like that from happening though or at least I’d like to think, blaming Luna’s bias on her selection ruling me out. Perhaps there was a purpose for me in this world, for why I was brought here but, I’m sure I wouldn’t know soon.

Bouncing around inside my brain the entire walk, it’s an abrupt arrival to Shy’s cottage that finds me at her door. Unsure of how long I’d been standing there I didn’t wish to seem creepy so I knocked a few times taking a step back. Peering off her porch around the side she wasn’t out back. Around a minute passed and figured she might not have heard me so I knocked again. This stirred things up.

Immediately a loud thump from inside startled me and a pair of voices both hushed in tone seemed to yell to each other. Fearing the worst I yell out.

“Hey Shy you okay?” I give a few more light knocks as I speak.

“Coming!” I can tell it’s her voice and it’s easy to settle back down. Sounds from within seem to stir up even more until the filter that is her door opens with a peek. “Joey? H-hey… what’s um… w-what do you need?”

She’s flustered, her face awfully pink for just answering a door.

“Hey yeah…. I just thought I’d stop by everyponies places today and see if there was anything I could help with. Seeing how I’m back and all. Just trying to stay busy heheh”

“Oh w-well uh… I don’t um.. this isn’t exactly the b-best time you see uh… maybe… maybe come back later today and I can find something I need help with?” Her forced smile leaves me perplexed.

“Are you um… is everything okay?”

She’s quick to answer, “Peachy! Yep! Just… tiding up is all”

“Is somepony else here cause I swear-“

“Just me!” Another horribly forced smile and with it I can almost audibly hear the comical dog toy squeeze.

“Shy you kinda suck at lying”

“L-lying? I’m not lying”

Squinting harder at her I can tell it’ll only take a few more pokes before she pops. Then, it doesn’t matter, a loud crash coming from inside draws us both to look for the source. Only when Shy turns back to see me peeking inside she instinctively shuts the door, slamming my nose in the process.

With a shout I rush a hand to my face as Shy nearly feints from her own action. “Shy! Fff- why’d you do that for?!”

“Oh I’m so so sorry! Oh my goodness please come in, let me check your nose”

Guiding me with a hoof I fight through teary vision until I’ve found my way to her living room couch. Taking initiative she pulls my hand away to look.

“I really am sorry Joey I don’t know what came over me. Here take these and pinch your nose right here. Lean forward and I’ll be right back with a towel”

Handing a few tissues to hold against my now bleeding nose, Shy rushes off leaving me alone. Fiery was the pain and the metallic smell of my own blood was sickening. You could say the day was already off to a good start.

”mmhmhmhm”

Again I hear another pony from across the cottage or at least two of them. It sounded like a conversation but, I couldn’t make anything out. Soon after it’s silence Shy returned giving me a much more capable absorber then the soiled tissues. With a clamp I leaned forward again.

“I uh… I don’t think it’s broken at least”

“Shy who’s in your home with us?”

“B-besides us? Well… there’s a few of my bird friends and-“

“Shy I heard you talking to someone. Why the secrecy?”

“Um… I uh…” Flustered beyond belief, if Shy got any more red she’d surely feint.

Feeling a little pervasive I decide to pull back. If there’s anyone who should know about the importance of privacy, it would be me.

“Okay, okay I’ll drop it. If you don’t want to tell me then that’s fine, we all have our secrets right?” She only nods in response still much too embarrassed to look my way. “Alright well since you said to come back later I’ll do just that. Do you uh… do you want this towel back or should I just…?”

“Y-you can take it.. or throw it away. It’s all icky now.. n-n-not saying y-your icky or anything but-“

“Heh, I get it Shy calm down. You and your secret friend can go back to.. whatever you two were doing and I’ll be back later”

“O-okay… thank you for… for checking in on me. I’ll find something for you to help me with before you get back, I swear”

Checking to see if the bleeding had stopped I tossed the spoiled towel in a bin near the door, “See ya soon”

“Be safe”

After I shut the door I make sure to take a few more steps away before I let out a storm of cusses, still gripping my very sore nose. It stung like hell but wasn’t going to let it stop me from making use of this day.

Left with a decision once more on where to go I kept with the program and headed over to the next closest home. The Carousel Boutique. Relatively close to Ponyvilles outskirts, Rarity’s home still could be considered in one of the more populated parts of town. It was both close to town hall and the market district making it a frequently visited location for ponies and other species alike. Personally I dislike large crowds so it could explain why I didn’t know much about Rarity. I was often too afraid of the discomfort to make the journey over meaning our time spent together had really been limited to times with the whole group. Was it selfish? Most definitely yes but, we were both young and there was plenty of time to grow our friendship, today being a perfect example. It brings a smile to my face to even think about my friendship with all the girls.

Strolling into town ponies went about their days without a care, distracted in their errands or lost in conversations with others. Wether it be childhood friends or family, lovers or rivals the town was popping with activity and I seemingly blended in. Finally after all this time, a regular. No more worries about-

“Hey Joey! You mind helping me out real quick?” Spinning around slightly unnerved, the small mare behind me almost goes completely unnoticed at first glance given her height. “I got a couple of materials I needed to bring over to Rarity’s but, my wagon wheel broke. You mind carrying some for me?”

The small orange mare felt oddly familiar but, I couldn’t place a name.

Green mane, orange coat, brown freckles, friends with rarity… oh god what’s your name?!

I take a peek at her cutie mark hoping for a hint all the while nodding my head and taking the cloths she hands to me. A sewing needle and spool underlying a white flower, it wasn’t very helpful.

“Thanks a bunch for this, I really didn’t want to cancel on Rarity but, when I saw you walking by I knew for sure I could make this work”

“Figured me nice enough to help out eh?”

“I can tell a good pony when I see one, that and when I spoke to you last you seemed the friendly type. Plus your friends with Rarity too, It was an easy assumption”

Unlike your name

“Yeah heheh… when did we meet again?”

“Hearths Warming! Don’t you remember? You came in all worried, waiting for the last minute to buy your friends gift. You got a hair tie, one with an apple”

Ohhhh I remember that! Yep, Applejacks present

“Oh yeah! That was a little while ago huh. I promised you I’d stop buy again”

“You sure didn’t but, I don’t hold that against you” she giggles. “Not many of my customers are regulars, kinda comes with the business. We can just consider today repayment for a broken promise”

“Hey I never did specify how soon I’d come back, you never know. Maybe I was planning on coming back next Hearths Warming?”

Laughing she hands me the last of her cloths stuffed into a larger than normal saddle bag as I toss it over my shoulder with a huff.

“That’s a whole year! Guess it kinda fits your procrastinating ways”

“Is that all you remember about me?”

“At least I remembered your name. It’s all weird an alien too! Gotta be extra bonus points for that” her emerald eyes cheerfully sparkle back matching her joyful trot beside me.

“I gotta be honest-“

“Sweetie Bee”

“Huh?”

“My name. I know you forgot it”. Embarrassed from being called out she continues, “Don’t blame yourself, it doesn’t really match my lifestyle like most ponies names do. It’s kinda cute though and I do like cute things so I still like it”

“Sweetie Bee” I say it to myself aloud, hoping to engrave it to memory.

“That’s me!” She hops. “Sweet as can be, just like my papa used to say”

“I’d say the names more fitting then you’d think”

“Cause I’m sweet? Or cause I can sting like a bee?” She even buzzes around me pretending to stab my hip with a stinger.

I chuckle at the antics, “Cause your way too innocent”

And adorable. The level that’s so cute you can’t help but feel a protective urge

“Innocent? You don’t know that! Unless it’s some sort of weird hooman power you secretly posses…” distracted she nearly trips over an uneven stone.

“In fact, you might be the most innocent pony I’ve ever met”

Slightly blushing she puffs her cheeks, “Well, that’s not exactly a bad thing”

“Not at all. Actually it’s kind of endearing”

Suddenly her blush grows deep, “Y-you didn’t actually mean endearing right? Do you know what that means?”

Confused on the meaning of endearing I clarify, “I meant it in a friendly way, like it’s nice to be around someon- somepony so nice. So… pure. Pure is a good word too, so pure”

“It is a good word but I can’t take that kind of credit, it’s too much! Look at me, I’m too small for that much praise!”

She was small.

“You’re humble too, wow. What a great pony”

“Please! Stop! I can’t take anymore!” She yells, folding her ears in a miserable attempt to escape my words.

“Okaaay I’ll stop. Don’t think you’re off the hook”

“Off the hook? What did I even do wrong?!”

“Acting and lookin too damn cute. Oughta be a crime round these parts”

“Well it’s not so stop”

“Hmpf… fine. Doesn’t matter anyways since we’re already here”

Standing in front of her house, Sweetie gives a few polite knocks smiling back to me in eagerness. Rolling my eyes at her overbearing positivity a few sounds from behind the door catch both of ours attention. With a switch of the door a much smaller pony reveals herself to be the culprit.

“Hey Sweetie Belle, you mind telling your sister that I’m here with her weekly restock?”

“Sure thing Miss Bee! Oh and hi Joey, what are you doing here?”

“Just helping out. I was actually heading over here to see if Rarity needed help with anything but, got caught up from this little orange here” I give a friendly hip check to Sweetie beside me.

“Okay, I’ll go get her for you both!”

“Thank you Sweetie” Bee said, giving her a pat on the head.

Rushing off playing the part of hero, Sweetie left us both to ourselves inside the home. I took this break to set down the saddlebag, it’s weight kinda hurting my shoulder at this point.

“Thanks for helping me out again”

“Yeah.. no problem”

Insert an awkward silence. I didn’t really know Sweetie nor did she know me so without much to talk about things kinda got… quiet.

“You uh… you known Rarity for a long time?”

“A few years now”

“Cool cool….”

“…”

“…”

“Do you live in Ponyville?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, kinda near the Everfree”

“Huh, isn’t that kinda scary?”

“Not really”

“I think it is”

“…”

“…”

“Helllooo you two!” Our savior had arrived, purger of discomfort.

“Rare aye, what’s up?”

“Hiya Rarity! I brought those new lavender shades you’ve been wanting and a new yellow that’s getting hot in Canterlot”

Inspecting them over she fawns at the sight, “These are just fabulous! Why I wouldn’t expect any less of you my dear Sweetie. However I must ask, why is it that Joey has helped you bring these today? What happened to your wagon?”

“Oh that stupid thing broke on me. I knew I needed a new wheel after last time but, I hate having to go get it fixed. Thankfully I spotted Joey here and I just knew he’d help me out once I said it was for you”

“I probably would’ve helped you out either way honestly”

“See Sweetie? I told you no stallion could resist a cute little mare like you. You just have to be more assertive”

“But that’s tough! Stallions can be so scary sometimes and I just want to make sure I find the right one. One that’ll be assertive for me”

“There isn’t many like that Sweetie, you really shouldn’t wait. Before you know it all of the young handsome stallions will be gone, swept up leaving you a poor mare left to her career alone” Something told me she was speaking from experience.

“Anyways, Rarity is there anything I can help you with today?”

“Haven’t any plans with Pinkie or pri- Lulu?”

“Nah. I was actually kinda hoping to check on all the girls today and stay a little busy. I kinda get cooped up having nothing to do sometimes so”

“That’s awfully kind of you however, there isn’t much I really need help with. There is one thing I’d like to talk to you about but, let me first get things settled here. If you’d like you can go help Sweetie with some of her homework from school in the other room for me”

“Sure, I can do that. This way?”

“Yes, the second door on the right”

Leaving them both to their negotiating I walk down the hall until I’ve reached Sweeties room, lightly knocking twice before entering.

“Hey, Rarity said you got some homework you need help with?”

Clearly frustrated at whatever she’s working on, she lifts her face from the table in surprise. “You know multiplication?”

“Multiplication? Pfft, that stuffs easy. Here, let me see whatcha got”

So began a cute few minutes of Sweeties hopeless plight. Who knew anypony could be so bad at math?

“Sweets we just did that one right there and you got it fine. Look it’s the same problem they just switched the numbers”

“But that’s why it’s hard! Why don’t you just do this one for me and I’ll learn by watching you?”

“Cause that’s not going to help you learn it as good as if you do it on your own. Cmon, draw the numbers out and let’s go over it together”

“Oookaaaay…. 27…. times 42. Carry the one…”

“Don’t forget to add the zero right there”

“Shoot, the stupid zero! Ugh, nopony even likes the number zero”

“Less zero hate, more maths”

“Is it one thousand, one hundred and thirty four?” I have to take a second to double check her work seeing in the end it is indeed correct.

“Yeah! See? Told ya it’s the same. You totally got the rest of these”

“I do! They really are all the same when I really look at it. Okay, okay, let’s do the next together again”

“Am I interrupting?” Rarity asks barging into my classroom.

“Yes, miss Rarity it’s come to my attention that your sister has the makings of a genius. The school board would like to put her in some more advanced classes”

Trotting over to see her progress she makes sure to get a good pinch of cheek, “Look how many you did without me! You really are good at these Sweetie. Perhaps you’ll find a cutie mark in mathematics?”

“Nah, it wasn’t all me. Joey helped out a bunch! He’s like super smart or something!”

Chuckling at her praise I give a small pat to her head, “I just pointed you in the right direction, you did the work. You got the rest of theses on your own right? I need to talk with your big sis”

“Yup! I sure do, thanks a bunch Joey!”

“No problem. Alright Rare, where to?”

“Follow me dearie”

Faintly as I leave I can hear Sweetie excitedly squeak about telling the other crusaders. “Maybe we can all teach the rest of the class and get our cutie marks that way”

How adorable.

Taking me deeper into her home we eventually end up in what I can only assume is Rarity’s bedroom. Taking a seat at the end of her bed she spins to me with a serious look.

“Joey be straightforward. Do you know if Spike and Fluttershy are courting?”

“Wow that was… forward. Um… maybe?”

Here I was left with a decision. Should Rarity continue to pressure me, I might let it slip that Shy’s behavior earlier and seemingly less mysterious guest by the moment answered her question but, would Shy be angry with me for saying so? I wasn’t sure what was okay to say and what wasn’t. I needed to change the subject.

“Maybe? Have you spoken to either of them about it? Have you gone to Fluttershys today yet? You did say earlier you were visiting us all”

“Uh… I did go there earlier but she wasn’t there” I lie. “Is there anything else you might need help with?”

“Joey you see, this is exactly what I need help with. If my friend Fluttershy… our friend, has begun a relationship with another one of our friends, we need to be there to help support and guide them! You know Fluttershy and Spike, they’re both so… shy. They’ll never get anywhere with a relationship!”

“Rarity maybe you’re reading into things that aren’t there-“

“They left together yesterday! Together! Spike always goes home with Twilight!”

“Maybe she needed help with something I don’t know”

“Joey you must do this for me. When you go back to Fluttershy’s later you must find out the truth”

“Who said I was going back?”

“Joey… please. I know you. If she wasn’t there earlier you’d come back later and try to help out. Your a good stallion”

“Ah jeez when you put it that way”

“So you’ll help me then?”

“And you want me to come back right after and tell you?”

“As soon as possible”

“Okay but if she isn’t home I’m going home so don’t stay up waiting for me”

“It’s fine darling but do try to hurry. I have a dress I must have ready for Sweetie in the morning for her school talent show and I can’t stay up waiting for too long”

“Alright… is that it though?”

“It would be perfect if you did that and only that, nothing more”

“I’ll ask her or try to when I go back but, if she doesn’t budge I’m not going to keep poking”

“Completely fair. Now where is it you’re heading next?”

“Hmmm probably Twilights”

“Tell her I said hello and if you want, try asking my Spikey wikey as well”

“I’ll try. Take it easy Rarity”

“See you soon hopefully”

“Heh hopefully”

Unsatisfied. A perfect description of how I now felt. I was hoping to help Rarity out and get to know her more not go on some gossip hunt! Why did I even agree? It mattered not either way, my main focus of the day to keep the brain busy and it was going rather well. Tough not to be distracted from all the strange mystery going on with Flutters.

Strolling across town the distance from Rarity’s to Twilights would likely be the farthest walk, Fluttershy’s house to mine the shortest. The trip wasn’t great even as the longest but, it did travel through some of the busiest parts of town unfortunately for me.

Many ponies would wave or say hi and I would try my best return the gesture however, the attention my height brought really was uncomfortable. Sure I was getting better with crowds and being in public but, growth takes time and I was definitely wasn’t near the comfortable level of someone like a teacher. Every eye my way still brought a rush of heat to my face, sweat to my pores. That being said, It wasn’t the weather that was making my shirt stick.

Like all forms of torture there’s eventually an end and with the appearance of the Golden Oaks Library I knew mine was over. Checking the sign it was flipped closed, a marvelous proof of privacy, there would be no interruption. With some of the most relieving knocks to a door I sit back watching nearby ponies go about their day.

Cracking open the door with a noisy squeak Twilight smiled to me with pleasured surprise.

“Well if it isn’t the biggest trouble maker in Ponyville” and with a light peck to my cheek she giggles, “And my idiot coltfriend. You have told Pinkie right?”

“I told Luna” I say preparing for a smack. “That has to count for something!”

Letting out a hopeless sigh she meets a hoof to her face. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I have an idea, how about giving me something to help you with today?”

“So wait, you came over to- actually can we take this conversation inside?” A few ponies walking nearby made it clear we should change scenery.

Now back in my original home I made myself comfortable on the couch as well did Twilight, resting herself atop of me with stomach pointed to the ceiling. We both lay flat, my hand running through her silk smooth mane, twiddling knots with the strands of pink and purple highlights. Things became awfully cozy and quiet quickly.

“Where’s Spike? He home?”

“He stayed the night at Fluttershys. He was nice enough to volunteer helping out with some late night chores for her animal friends and thought he should just stay the night given the time. He said he didn’t want to wake me up specially after such a long day. Such a sweetheart”

“So he’s at Fluttershy’s still?”

“I don’t know, maybe. You never answered my question from earlier though”

There’s a brief pause before I answer, my light scratching drawing coos from the mare atop me.

“I don’t think you ever asked one”

“I didn’t?”

“You started to”

“… oh. Did you come over looking for something to do or did you just miss me?”

“Heh, call it a mixture but, if I was being honest I’d say I got some shitty news and I kinda need a distraction. Thankfully I know a few ponies that deserve all the help I can give, some cuter then others” I give her a kiss on the cheek.

“What kind of news? What happened?”

“It’s… complicated”

Left with the question, should I tell Twi, I battled constantly within my conscience in the few seconds I lay there. Could revealing this recent discovery make Twilight blame herself more? Sure she’s been willing to go easy on herself but, every time the subject is brought up again she’s quick to blame herself. Even to this day I can tell she still holds some remorse.

“I’m sure I can understand whatever you say Joey. Relative to all the stuff we’ve already been through I can’t imagine it’s anything I can’t handle”

Yet, I made a promise not to hide anything from her anymore.

“Yesterday when we all split up… Luna and I… we went and found Quantum Matters remains”

“How come? Does princess Luna have some sort of way to trace back the original spell? It wasn’t necromancy was it? She gives me the vibe she might dabble”

“We thought there might be some kind of clue. Luna probably had other plans or some ace up her sleeve but we never got that far. We stopped right after we opened the casket”

“His remains weren’t there?”

“I hope those weren’t his.. actually I don’t know what would be worse”

“Huh? What are saying?”

“He was human or well.. the body was a human. It was a human skeleton. Luna checked it”

She gets up, spinning around to see if I was telling the truth. “Quantum was… a human?”

“Yeah…”

“This changes everything” in the moment she’s lost in a sea of theories, her eyes racing for a solution until she has to grab a notebook to start writing down ideas. “Joey I’m… I’m really sorry but do you mind coming back later tonight? I need to think about this and I’ll need silence to do it”

Then with a sudden pause she drops the notebook and jumps into me with a hug. “I don’t mean to be such an idiot and push you out the door when you’re clearly suffering but, I think we have enough evidence now to figure out a plan. I can just feel it”

“But we haven’t spent time together like this in a while. I kinda wanted to continue”

“We’ll have plenty of time for stuff like this in future!”

“And you have plenty of time to solve my illness too”

“Joey please, I know I can figure something out tonight”

With a sigh I willingly surrender, “If you really think you can come up with something then I’ll give you the time. Any specific time you want me to come back?”

“Um… maybe real late? Give me the rest of the day at least. Come back later, sometime likeeee ten?”

“Alright, I trust you. I’ll be back round ten””

“Thank you thank you thank you! Joey I promise I’ll figure this out! You.. you should probably take the day off instead running around. I know I don’t deserve to go around telling you what to do but, I feel it isn’t too good to just stuff down and deal with this problem later like you normally do”

“How about I deal with it once you’ve came up with one of your great plans huh? That way I never have to deal with it cause you’ll solve the problem anyway” I give cheeky smile which she repays with a bonk to my noggin.

“How about you don’t put that kind of pressure on me?”

“Alright then don’t promise you’ll have a solution by tonight. It would be okay with me even if it takes a whole year so take it easy”

“What if you don’t have a whole year?”

“I ain’t getting any worse am I? I think we’re going to be fine”

“Okay but, I still want to see if I can figure something out”

“And that’s fine just don’t be all sad if you don’t have a solution. Sad Twilight means sad Joey”

“I’ll try to be chipper”

“Heh, yea okay”

“By the way if you run into Spike, tell him to stay with Shy again tonight will you? If I don’t have a solution by the time you get back I don’t want him bothering me from brainstorming the rest of the night.

“If I see him I’ll tell him but when I get back if you don’t have a solution we are going back to cuddling and that’s final”

“Hmm… fine. I’ll make up this time we lost I swear””

“I know you will”

Finally breaking our embrace we share a small kiss leaving Twi’s face a few darker shades purple then before. Perhaps withdraw from our last private moment got to her as she pressed for another kiss laying forcing me to my back once more. Only for a second some did my human sense of cheating come back, the same I had felt with Luna that time ago yet, washed away in Twilight’s overwhelming pressure. Engulfed in her scent it takes the parting of our lips to be brought back to reality, Twi sitting beside me heavily flustered.

“Sorry I got a little carried away…”

“We can… we can continue this later if you want?”

“That would be nice… as an experiment! Yep, totally a perfect moment to explore deeper bonds of friendship”

I have to laugh a little at her self justification, “I don’t think Celestia would want to read that friendship report Twi”

Unsure of what to say she kinda just looked to the floor twiddling her hooves. “Err… maybe it could be a private one. One only for my eyes”

“Whatever makes you feel less embarrassed”

“It’s not-! Ugh.. I’ll see you at ten”

“See you then purple” however right as I reach the door I’m sure not to squander the opportunity. “And if you have time make sure to use that lavender soap you always use cause-“

*SLAM*

Her door shut violently behind me bumping me out into the street. A few onlookers stare on strangely, some laughing and I make sure to hurry off away from the attention not really looking where I head.

“Well that went well”

“Yeah?”

“Yea- wait, Dash?”

“The one and only!” With a few unnecessary spins and flips she stops grinning ear to ear atop her cloud, only a few feet above.

“You must like stalking ponies huh?”

“I wasn’t stalking, I just noticed some doof getting tossed outside and I had to know who it was”

“Well I’m the doof”

“Duh!” She scuffs. “What are you even doing at Twilights? Why’d she kick you out?”

“She didn’t kick me out and it’s not that important”

“Suuuureeee”

“What are you even doing anyway? Napping away the day again?”

“N-no! I was watching over the town, you know, making sure everypony was getting along”

Putting a hand to my chest I act overwhelmed by Dash’s words, “Oh my! Ponyville’s mare in shining armor. How brave”

“Those sound like fighting words”

“It has been a minute since our last wrestle match”

“Or our last race… first one to Sweet Apple Acred wins!” But before she can take off I leap into the air grabbing her tail. “Gawh!”

“No flying ya little ch-“ *SMACK*

Out of instinct Dash rears a back leg straight into stomach sending me straight to my knees. My lungs are quick to empty and any attempt to recover is pointless leaving me to a shriveled mess rolling in the dirt. For what feels like hours I eventually catch a breath, coming back to my senses and a worked up Dash. Flustered she holds a hoof to my back.

“Dude are you okay?”

“Ugh… holy god….”

“Why’d you pull my tail! Everypony knows you never pull a ponies tail!”

“In case you…. couldn’t tell…. I’m not exactly… a fuckin pony!”

“Well don’t do it again!”

“I won’t!” Finally getting back to my feet my poor aching body screams in protest from todays hijinks. “Damn, today has already been nuts”

“Speaking of nuts, where’s Pinkie? How come you two aren’t doing something together if you got free time?”

Slightly upset from her little jab toward Pinkie I swallow down the anger. I wasn’t in the mood to fight.

“We did something last night. She’s probably still recovering” I say with a wink.

“T-that’s.. come on dude! I don’t need to hear about you and Pinkies gross sex life” she even gags a little at the end.

“In all seriousness I felt like I should spend some time with the others seeing how I haven’t in a while but, things kinda haven’t gone well”

“Yeah?”

“Like first Fluttershy was all… actually I don’t know if I should be saying anything about that, or really anything that’s happened today. Shit let’s just pretend I never said anything”

“Works for me. I never was too big into all that gossipy stuff Rarity’s always doing anyway. But, since you said todays been crap then allow the one and only Rainbow Dash to save it!”

“Please do. Like for real”

“Totally easy. The first step to having a super cool Dash day is to have a good breakfast! You eat anything yet today?”

“Nah I didn’t have breakfast. Kinda too late though now, it’s like two o’clock”

“Wait it’s two?” Looking to her wrist at just a tuft of pony fur she turns back to me, “Well that’s better for us anyway, means less ponies in our way!”

“Okay that’s fair. Where you wanna go?”

“Hmm… how about…”

Seafood. Ah yes, the typical two o’clock seafood restaurant in a town of herbivores. We couldn’t have been in a more unlikely scenario if I tried.

“Dash why is there a seafood restaurant here? Aren’t ponies herbivores?”

“Most are but, we can eat some meat if we want. I even heard that ponies that live in Seaddle eat fish daily”

“Yeah but we’re not in Seattle”

“Seaddle dude, there’s no T’s and there’s not just ponies that live here”

“Yeah but, Ponyvilles still like ninety percent ponies. There’s no way a business like this could stay open”

“Have you tried their food?”

“That’s… ugh. Honestly I shouldn’t complain. If their food is good then I should be happy this is even an option. I used to love seafood back home”

“You live by water back on your home planet?”

“Actually no, funny enough I lived near the middle of my nation. Wasn’t much water around at all and even less seafood places to show for it. I was an odd one for liking it for sure”

“Did your friends think it was odd?” Laughing a little at the absurdity of her question she couldn’t ever understand what would be considered odd back on Earth. “What? I thought that was a good question!”

“No it’s totally normal Dash plus my friends were a lot like me. We did a lot of the same things and enjoyed a lot of the same things but, that kinda goes with way time works. As you get older the amount of friends you have shrinks and shrinks til it’s just the ones you really fuck with or sometimes there’s none left. What I mean to say is I didn’t have many when… well you know… but, they were cool” Spoiling the mood some I sorta get lost in a trance.

Noticing my frown the mare across tries her best to change the subject, “You think I’d like lobster?”

“Maybe. It still has a little fish flavor, not that strong though. Kinda shrimp like”

“I’ve never had shrimp”

“What have you had?”

“Uhhh to be honest, nothing”

“Oh, um… maybe try cod? It’s probably the least fishy tasting fish. Then again if you’ve never had any seafood before I don’t even know if you’d dislike the fishy flavor”

“I’ll just go with whatever you thinks good seeing how you called yourself the sea master earlier”

“Heh, I only said I liked seafood”

“Master of seas, rider of waves” she gets carried away using her best movie trailer voice.

“Im actually a terrible swimmer too”

“Damn dude can you at least pretend to be good at something?”

Thinking for a witty comeback a large smirk comes across my face but, before I can say it and completely fluster Dash we’re interrupted by our server. Distracted long enough after placing our order I completely forget the joke.

“Not good at a single thing unbelievable”

“Oh that’s right! I know something I’m good at!”

“Don’t say it”

“Say what?”

“You’re going to say something pervy I can feel it”

“You don’t know that”

“Actually I do. You got the same stupid look Pinkie always has before she says something gross!”

“Fine I won’t say it”

“Good”

“Anyways what’s wrong with pulling a ponies tail?” I ask all too innocently.

Sure I can probably guess what’s wrong with it but, to miss out on the opportunity of watching Dash explain it? Boy I’d be losing my touch if I did.

Sure enough she’s left flabbergasted checking around to see if anypony heard. “Joey! You… you can’t talk about that out loud”

“How’s it different then pulling someone’s ponytail… let me rephrase, their hair”

“First off that’s not okay either. Secondly, cause it has all sorts of um… meaning”

“Meaning?”

“Y-yeah, it’s kinda like a thing ponies courting do uh… when they’re… doing”

“Fucking?” I whisper. With a red faced gulp she gives a nod. “Geez Dash for somepony so bold I’m surprised how easy you are to rile”

“It’s… I… fuck off…”

“Hey hehe, I’m kidding, I’m kidding”

Still clearly pissed off I can tell I’ve gone a little too far, “Yeah sure”

“Dash…”

“It’s fine, I don’t really care”

“Dash if I went too far-“

“Can we not talk about it? Geez, like you always have to bring that stuff up! We get it Joey, the amazing Rainbow Dash is a virgin and can’t talk to stallions. Congrats… ugh I’m pathetic”

“You’re not pathetic Dash”

“Uh kinda am dude. Most mares my age have at least hooked up with one stallion by now” with a frown she sinks deeper into the booth. “Maybe I need to act more like a mare…”

“What makes you think that?”

“Cause I don’t exactly see stallions lining up to court the amazing tough Rainbow Dash but, cute soft Fluttershy used to get asked out all the time back in school. They always said I was more like a stallion anyway”

“I think you’re fine the way you are Dash”

“Yeah but you’re weird”

“Thanks that’s reassuring”

“I didn’t mean it like that! You just… you think differently then stallions here. You say weird stuff all the time that I’ve never heard before and you don’t act like a normal stallion either”

“Dash I’m sure there’s a stallion that thinks you’re cute” as the words leave my mouth I swear her frown grows just a little larger but she quickly recovers.

“Yeah right…”

“You probably need to find somepony that you think would like you, like somepony opposite of you. See how super energy extrovert Pinkie and I get along? Pretty peachy if you ask me. You’re all tomboyish so maybe you need to find a stallion who’s a little less um.. tough”

Blushing at the idea she slams the table drawing a few looks, “What! Absolutely not, I ain’t gonna court some weak softie that can’t hold his own!”

“You can’t be that picky without trying it out first! You don’t even know what kinda stallion you like I bet”

“Course I do. He’s gotta be a pegasus and he’s gotta be cool, maybe even cooler then me. Then he’s gotta be into Daring Do and like be cool wi-“

“Dash you’re being ridiculous. There’s no way you find the perfect stallion like that. Do this for me. Go out with some of the girls one night okay and try and talk to a few stallions and get to meet them BUT, do not try to be cool like you always do”

“What are you talking about I’m always cool! How am I supposed to be not cool?”

“By being open. Be truthful and maybe even talk about stuff you might think is nerdy or some shit like reading Daring Do books. Have you ever talked to a stallion like that?”

“Well uh… I do with you” What a facepalm moment.

“Ugh, do you want me to be you’re wingman?”

“My what?”

“Wingmare? I don’t know the term here! You want me to set you up with stallions one night?”

“Huh? Ah dude that’s… that’s like… I can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“Cause I..” she looks around before lowering her voice, “I get nervous”

“That’s perfectly normal”

“No I mean like I can’t talk”

“Surely it’s not that bad”

“Then my wings get stiff…”

“A-a natural response”

“Theeeen I usually start boasting until they can’t take it anymore and leave”

“Wut?”

“I can’t help it! It’s easy to boast and brag about stuff compared to friken… small talk about my favorite fruit or some stupid shit”

“Hm, maybe you need practice”

“And how the buck we do that?”

“What if we pretend we’re on a date right now?”

“R-right n-now?!”

“Yeah”

“I… we can’t do that? What if somepony we know sees us acting that way?”

“We can clear it up later with them, come on. It’ll be fun”

Stressed with the decision her hooves rub circles into her temple until she stops with an exhale. “Fine but, you can’t do that tease crap you always do!”

“Deal. Now from now til we leave, it’s a date so be on your a game and I’ll tell you how you did after”

“O-okay”

“…”

“…”

Aaand things are awkward, should’ve seen this coming

When our food arrives I decide to get things rolling, “So what do you like to do in your free time?”

Almost surprised she jolts a little, “Er… flying. I mean uh… stunts, I like practicing my stunts. I um.. I want to be a wonderbolt”

Why is she blushing so hard? She tells this to literally everyone we meet!

“Really? I heard they’re like the best flyers in Equestria right? I’m not exactly from here but, I’ve only heard amazing things. You must be pretty good at flying then huh?”

This lights her eyes right up, “Pretty good? Pfft, I…” but as she starts to ramp up she suddenly pauses. “I practice a lot. I’d like to think I’m good”

Thats not how she normally acts… but at least she isn’t boasting

“Maybe you can show me sometime? Maybe next date?”

“S-sure, I’d like that” she tails of at the end, fiddling with her mane.

“…”

“…”

“Okay Dash we gotta pause”

“That was terrible wasn’t it? Ugh, I don’t know how to act, I’ve never been on a date before! I don’t even really talk to stallions”

“Calm down we will figure this out. First off though what was with the shy act? That’s not how you act around me and the girls”

“Yeah but… stallions don’t like how I act”

“There’s definitely dudes out there that would find the way you act attractive Dash, don’t be ridiculous”

She hangs her head clearly downtrodden, “Then it would be nice if one said so”

“*sigh*… I think… you’re attractive” with a slow head raise her face fills with so much color it’s amazing she doesn’t feint. “I’m not saying I have a crush on you… just that… you are… pretty attractive”

“That’s not funny”

“Dash don’t make me say it again”

Still not fully believing me, it’s not until she looks back over to see me clearly embarrassed that it hits her. I wasn’t lying and with this new knowledge it was tough not for Dash’s wings to immediately betray her, springing up with a floof.

“Uh… I don’t… um… thanks”

“Yeah… no problem”. Clearing my throat I try to bring us back, “As I was saying earlier, I think you should act how you would with us. You wouldn’t be happy if you pretended you were somepony else to make things work. Don’t fake it, be yourself” she nods along allowing me to continue. “Next, we gotta avoid the awkward silences”

“I don’t know what to say, everything I think of just sounds stupid in my head!”

“It’s okay to say stupid stuff sometimes. It might even help bring the conversation along or make a laugh out of it. I’ll still give you a good example though of what you could talk about like how I asked about what you like to do. Don’t be afraid to repeat a question back at the other pony if you can’t think of anything”

“I know how to talk to ponies Joey, what about stallions? What do they like to talk about?”

“Same shit you like to talk about. Course there will be some exceptions but, generally it’ll be whatever sounds interesting or fun to talk about. It’s important to be interested in what they say as well. Ponies like a good listener. Ask questions to prove your paying attention and actually try to learn about what they say even if you don’t care”

“That sounds boring”

“Yeah but you know about all the girls and what they like don’t ya? How come that’s not boring?”

“That’s different”

“How though?”

“Cause I’m not trying to court my friends”

“What do you think all couples are? Not friends?”

“Okay maybe when I think about it you might be right but why should I have to force myself to listen if I don’t like what they like? Doesn’t that mean it’s not going to work out anyways?”

“You don’t have to like the same things, you only have to like the pers- pony. Who they are, how they act. That’s really all that matters. Again it’s like having a friend… that you occasionally get a little touchy with”

“A coltfriend can’t be anything like a regular friend! You don’t go and.. friken smooch all the girls cause they’re your friend like you do Pinkie do you? It ain’t the same”

“That’s probably where your biggest problem is then. You don’t understand what it means to be in a relationship”

“Of course I do, I’m not a filly! Just cause I’ve never been in relationship doesn’t mean I don’t know what it takes”

“Then at least trust me and what I tell you. Find a stallion you can be friends with, then think about taking it another step. It’s a waste of time to date a pony over something like looks or coolness”

“Still I don’t know how to talk to stallions. Where’s the part where you tell me how to do that?”

“You’re already doing it right now”

“Tsck, that’s not the same, I already told you that”

“Dash we weren’t friends before and if you’re honestly going to tell me it’s easier to talk to an alien then a stallion then we might have no hope for you”

“That’s! Grrrr, this was a stupid! I can’t believe I asked for your help with this. I even said all that embarrassing stuff to you and all you give me is to be myself. I have been and it’s not working! Ugh… I should ask Rarity or somepony else”

“What the fuck am I? Chopped liver?! That was me spilling my fucking heart out to help you! I didn’t even joke around”

“Yeah well now I feel more hopeless then before! Thanks a lot!”

Leaving the booth she stomps off leaving me shocked with the bill and a few glares from around. The absolute nerve she had to treat me like that! I’ll never give her advice again!

Leaving a few bits with a gracious tip (a tremendous meal I might add), I keep my head low and try my best to ignore the stares I’d been getting after Dash’s rude departure. My mood now sour I try my best to blow off the steam burning away inside me on my way to the last of the girls. Sweet Apple Acres would prove to be a good walk from that restaurant thankfully, allowing the breeze to literally cool me down.

By the time I cross past the front sign and make my way through the orchard, the sun seems to make its way slowly back down from its heaven above. The day was fading but, I still had time to help AJ before I was needed back anywhere else.

Taking the two steps up onto the porch it’s creaks almost hide Aj’s voice coming from outside. With peek around the corner of the house I happen to catch a glimpse of her heading into a barn.

“Aj!” I shout jogging over. “Aj you in here?”

“Jchoey?” A full sounds voice echos from within. “*spit* that you?”

When I reach the inside of the barn I do in fact find the cowpony, her fur matted from a sweaty days work. She leaves the hay stack she’s been carrying and walks my way.

“Watcha doin round here? Lookin for somepony?”

“Actually yeah and I just found her. I was wondering if there was anything I could help you with today? I know it’s kinda late now but, I’d be willing to help with whatever!”

“Well I do like the spirit yer bringing but I ain’t got much left. Just finished off the last of my chores and there really hasn’t been anything needin fixin. Maybe just giving me a nice chat while I wash up and head back? Sorry…”

“No.. that’s fine. I was going to be here earlier but I kinda got held up”

“Yeah? How bout you tell me bout your day? Beats me tellin you about stackin hay and fixin Apple Blooms clubhouse”

“What was wrong with it?”

Taking our conversation on the move we head back around to the backside of their house.

“Heh, another cutie mark crusade. Thought they could get cutie marks in carpentry. Took me hours to pull out all the boards they stuck”

“That sounds sucky”

“Trust me, it was. How was your day though? Do anything crazy?” She asked sarcastically. She knew I was the last one to look for trouble.

“No but, to tell you the truth I think something weird is going on. I can’t exactly talk about it yet til I know more but, everything today almost seems to revolve around it. Except my trip to Twilights”

“Then walk me through your day. How’d it start?”

“So I went to Fluttershys first. She was acting weird and there was definitely somepony else there but, she wouldn’t admit it. Pretty much shooed me out her house so I went to Rarity’s next. She meanwhile put me on some ridiculous mission that I’m not even sure I’m going to follow through then I went to Twilights and we talked about… stuff. Then she kicked me out and I ran into Dash. We went out to eat and I pissed her off somehow. Still don’t understand what happened there. Anyways, that’s how I got here”

Turning on a nearby valve Apple Jack lightly hosed herself off right in front me. It still felt the same as someone bathing even if she was wasn’t truly naked so I spun around embarrassed.

Isn’t this kinda weird?

“Sounds like you got more secrets then anypony sugar. Ya barely told me anything”

“Y-yeah.. that’s fair”

“… so ya gunna tell me?”

“Uh..”

“I don’t mean to twist your leg, ya don’t actually have to tell me”

“Mmm yeah but when I think about it I did get here super late” I take a second still avoiding the washing Apple Jack to think of what to say. “Dash got super pissed at me and I don’t know why but maybe you do”

Behind me I hear the valve squeak again, the drips of an emptying hose. “I might know but, I ain’t no mind reader”

“It’s okay if you can’t help me. So we were talking and she told me something kind of personal. I took it really seriously and I really tried to help her but, she got all mad at me and stomped off. Said my advice sucked”

“Did it?”

“Apple Jack!”

“What? Ain’t helpin nopony if ya can’t tell the difference ‘tween a horse and a hay barrel”

“That’s not even a real saying”

“What I’m saying is, ya feel like you helped her?”

“… no”

“Then why make a big deal of it? Dash always gets mad but, if you were tellin the truth when ya said you really tried, she’s sure to forget about it soon enough”

“I don’t know, she really and I mean really spilled her guts to me”

“Hm. Did ya say sorry?”

“Say sorry? She asked for my advice and got pissed when she didn’t like it! Why would I say sorry?”

“Cause ya couldn’t help her. Course there’s nothin ya did wrong but doesn’t hurt to say it. Shows ya feel bad about not being able to help”

“Yeah well maybe I would’ve said that if she wasn’t such an ass about it”

“That just means she was embarrassed. Ya oughta go find her an make things right before tomorrow”

“She should be the one apologizing!”

“Now now, no point crying over who’s fault it was, don’t ya want your friend to be happy?”

“Y-yeah but-“

“Then go find her!”

“I don’t know where to look!”

“Then ya better start lookin now! Days windin down”

“Fuck. Thanks Apple Jack… I guess. Um, tell me next time you need some help okay? We don’t hang out much and I’d like to get to know all you girls a little better”

“Sure thing sugar. I’ll have Bloom come get ya some mornin to help out round the farm but, ya better be ready. We Apples are early risers”

“That’s disgusting. See ya Aj!” I run off leaving her confused.

“Disgustin?” She questions scratching just under her stetson. “How’s that disgustin?”

Whatever free time I had before was fleeting rapidly. The sun had set and the sky darkened, Dash was nowhere to be seen. Looking like a lunatic I ran through the mostly empty town at this point, searching the clouds for any Rainbow tint. There wasn’t many left and time had all but ran out before I found myself back at Fluttershys. Desperate I ran up to her door knocking, hoping she’d have some sort of lead of where she might go.

Why the fuck am I even doing this? She was the stupid one who got all angry! I was just trying to help!

No answer. I knocked again, checking through the window to see if anypony is home. Empty, not a single candle lit.

“Where the fuck is she?” Then it clicked that she might have turned it in for the night, sick of waiting.

Feeling slightly disappointed in myself I shook it off and made my way back to Rarity’s. If I was too late for Fluttershys I could still at least give Rarity the word I fucked up. This I should be fine on time, she said she’d be up late. Plus what if she had some unexpected lead on where Dash might be? It was better then nothing and so I headed back her way, the sun now completely gone and the night upon us.

Shit I hope I’m not late for Twilights

Little did I know something unexpected would happen at Rarity’s only not the kind I hoped. With the Carousel in sight my heart dropped in realization. Her home had gone dark as well. Still I was tempted to knock, maybe see if she was still awake but the polite pussy side of myself was fast to takeover, choosing to take the L on this one as well. Two blunders in a row yet, the day was still metaphorically young compared to the time I figured I had left. There should be enough time to find Dash. I mean Ponyville really isn’t that big a town.

Let’s fast forward an hour to check on myself. Surely I’d found Dash by then right?

“Mister I’m telling ya if I saw Rainbow Dash I would’ve know it was her. She’s the only dang pony in this with rainbow hair! Now leave me alone and let me close shop”

Stepping away from the now pissed off stallion I head back into the street now completely defeated. My time was up and if I had any hope of finishing this day productively I needed to head over to Twilights now. Besides, Dash was a complete ass to me, she should have to wait to get an apology for me, if I’ll ever give one.

Streets empty, the only real sound aside the occasional crunch of gravel beneath my feet would be the chittering of bugs all around me. At least in a positive note, the night was still pleasantly warm from todays heat radiating from the Earth. Enjoying the peace, my mind wandered off to a place of isolation. I was in my own world completely devoid of thought all the way up to the point I reached Twilights door. Standing still I hadn’t know how long I’d been there before I came back.

Giving a few head shakes to wake myself, I give a few knocks to the door as well. A pony, mare in shape made her way past behind me, in her own rush with a story I’d never know. It’s easy to forget we’re all living our own journeys, the only author capable of telling the story ourself. Distracted for a moment I realize Twilight never answered so I knock again. No answer. Then I weigh wether it would be appropriate or not to just walk in? Sure it was that kind of a relationship and she was expecting me but, it was kinda late, I didn’t want to spook her. Sighing to myself I decide to just be a man and walk right in so I grab the door knob with a twist and I find myself face first in its frame.

Her door was locked.

Was I too late?! I couldn’t be! Sure I didn’t have a watch to tell the time but, I was sure it couldn’t have been nearly long enough for Twilight to have stopped waiting for me. Besides, she even seemed a little flirtatious when I left, I was really looking forward to see how things went!

“Fuck!”

“Language!” A voice shouted from a window nearby.

“Sorry!… fuck”

What if there was another way in?

Walking around the side of her home I remember the balcony she has to her bedroom. Sticking straight out from the side of the tree it protruded just enough to where I felt I could make it with enough climbing.

Checking around to make sure nopony was watching, I started to make my way up some of the low branches near the back of the tree. Getting my feet up first I manage to climb up a good distance, a solid eight to ten feet, almost close enough to grab the ledge without jumping.

I gotta get a little higher

Fast did I learn how poor a climber I was as with almost every foot placement I make, a minute or so goes by before I lower my leg once more unsure of the next step. I was dangerously high and also head level with her balcony but, the angle prevented any sight of inside. I would need to reach out and lift myself over the balcony ledge if I was going to make it.

“Oh please god don’t let me fall”

Hands sweaty, I anticipated how I would move. First I’d slowly lean over, grabbing with one hand on the ledge then place a foot along the side as well, making a steady place for me to grab with another hand, climbing over with ease. It was a cakewalk… so why was I so nervous? Sure it’s a pretty far drop but-

“Holy shit that’s really far” I pin myself back against the base of the tree now frozen in fear. “Why did I look? Why did I look!?”

I was too far now to go back and honestly too scared to climb back down. There was no choice but to go for it so without hesitating I made a leap from the tree to her balcony. In my rush however, I hadn’t pushed off cleanly and with a desperate scrape I almost lose my grip plummeting to the ground below.

“Oooohhhh my god, oh my god”

High pitched in my whispered scream I still managed to climb my way on to her balcony, laying on my back for a moment to catch my breath.

“That had to be the most impressive thing I’ve done since I’ve gotten here”

Remember we escaped getting kidnapped doofus?

“Second most”

After taking my well deserved rest I slowly open the glass door to Twilights room, half expecting her to be sleeping in bed, only to be surprised to see she wasn’t there at all. In fact, there wasn’t a sign of her being home in some time. The candles in her room weren’t even warm anymore and house was slightly chilled. Not an object stirred.

“Where did everypony go? I nearly died to get in here!”

Glancing through the many scribbles and notes piled on her desk it was easy to tell she didn’t find a solution to my problem but, that didn’t answer why she wasn’t home. Left with truly no choice now I made my way through her home, back out the front door and started making my way back home.

Maybe its a surprise party? Why else would nopony be home and Pinkie not come look for me during the day? Also, why would I get put on this wild goose chase unless they wanted me gone long enough for the party to get set up? Then again it’s kinda late for a party

I ponder most the trip, trying to make any sense of todays events only there doesn’t seem to really be any. Perhaps today was all a dream? No, that would be absurd and how could that be possible given the run in with Sweetie Bee. There’s no way my brain would’ve remembered her name, it’s terrible with names! The only reasonable explanation at this point would be that I don’t care anymore and I’ll worry about it tomorrow and so I planned to do just that, opening the door to my house with a sigh.

“Pinkie, I’m home!”

Greeted by a not so Pinkie sounding voice, I almost stumble taking off my shoes. In fact it was so raspy it could only have been-

“Joey where the hay have you been all night!?”

“Why are you yelling at me like you didn’t storm off earlier today leaving me with the bill!? What was that all about and why are you in my house?!”

“I let her in!” Pinkie happily pounced beside her. “Dashie said she was lookin for you so I told her just to wait here until you came back home”

“And you sure took your time didn’t you?” Dash sassed.

“Oh fuck off with that” I walk right past her almost tripping over another pony walking backwards from the hall.

“Oof, oh sorry I- Joey? Oh I um, I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you at my house. You see I might got a teeny bit distracted with my squirrel friends and I forgot you were coming back so I thought I would come see you at your place.. if that’s okay with you?”

“I asked Fluttershy to stay and wait too! Thought we could have fun playing cards while we waited!”

“My bad for being late as well Shy. I kinda got tripped up. When I headed over you were already gone so I figured you went to bed earlier or something”

“No, I just got caught up is all. To be honest, it’s okay if you don’t help me with anything Joey, it’s not like I would ever hold it against you or anything”

“But I owe you. You gotta let me help you with something”

“Hello?! What about me here? Weren’t we just having a conversation?”

“No Dash, we weren’t. You were yelling at me and I decided I didn’t care”

“Um maybe you two could… lower your… voices?”

“So now you don’t care at all about what I think? You know, you’re really showing your true colors today!”

“What the fuck does- Dash I tried to help you and you didn’t like my advice. I don’t understand why you’re so mad with me”

“Well maybe if you listened earlier you’d know!”

“Um… could… you two…”

“I did listen and you didn’t explain yourself like at. fucking. all. Dashie!”

Closing the gap between us we’re nearly face to face when a voice shouts from the side scaring us both.

“Both of you, enough!” Rarity’s shouting voice was something I’d never experienced before and given the others reactions as well it’s probably not common they hear it. “I’ve absolutely had it with listening to you two bicker!”

“Rarity why are you here too?”

Jumping in front Pinkie happily chirps, “Oh I said she could-“

“I was told that a certain stallion would make his way back to report his findings before it was late! Although, after enough waiting, even a mare as patient as myself felt riled enough to take matters into her own hands and find you. Only when I did search did Pinkie here suggested I stay and wait for your return, WHICH I have done ever so graciously!”

“Jeez I’m sorry, I didn’t know I mean you didn’t have to stay up. I could’ve just told you in the morning”

“Well I did try to sleep but I couldn’t stop thinking about what you might have to say and so I toiled and toiled until I couldn’t take it anymore and came here myself”

It didn’t feel like my fault but seeing Rarity so upset I was willing to compromise.

“I really am sorry Rarity and I’m sorry to you too Shy. I’ll have to make it up to the both of you”

“You mean the three of us right cause you still haven’t apologized for.. well I don’t have to say it out loud!”

Stepping between us Rarity tilted her head in interest, “What is it that did happen to cause such an argument?”

“Yeah” said Spike now standing beside me enjoying my last bag of kettle chips. “What *crunch* happened?”

“Let Dash tell you cause I have no idea”

Now furious her tail waved behind her like fire, her body ready to pounce and fight. In preparation I started to make my way backward.

“Ooo ooo ooo, are you two going to wrestle?! Can I watch, can I watch!?”

*SLAM*

From the direction of my bedroom a door violently snapped open drawing the attention of everypony inside. With a tinge of fear in the air I wondered what other pony could possibly be in my house at this point.

Who else did I wrong now?! Twilight? That shopkeeper I kept bugging? Please don’t tell me it’s the mare from Canterlot

A purple leg extended from the darkness of my room and with it the angriest Twilight I’d ever seen. If looks could kill my living room would’ve become a case of serial murder in an instant.

“Why… is… everypony… YELLING!?!” Taking a few ragged breaths her eyes scan the room until they reach me, dousing the flames within them.

“Uhhh Twi? Are you okay?”

“*ahem* excuse me for… well that. I was taking a nap in the other room and I uhh… sorry”

“No it’s.. it’s okay I didn’t know you were here… any of you… until now”

“Joey” Twi spoke to me again. I could tell she was conflicted. “I didn’t… I-“

Ruffling her mane I lower myself to face her, “It’s okay”

“Once I started working on a theory I had, I realized pretty quickly that it wasn’t going to work but, I already promised you I’d figure it out so I thought maybe I could find you before then and tell you so things wouldn’t be so… disappointing”

“It’s fine, really Twilight”

“What was she trying to figure out for you?” Asked Spike.

Even Dash had calmed down and was curious, “Yeah, Twilights making it seem like it was a big deal”

Lets not think about it

“I-its nothing. Not a big deal”

“Then tell us”

Ever heard of no?

“Nah, it r-really doesn’t matter”

“Surely its not that big of a deal dearie, we’re all curious”

Really don’t want to think about it!

“Yeah but I don’t want to thi- talk about it”

Twilight was quick to notice my discomfort, “Girls maybe we should-“

“I told you that stuff about me earlier today and I didn’t want to talk about that!”

“Yeah but I didn’t force you to talk about it!”

“Nopony is forcing you do do anything dude, you’re just being a big-“

“OKAY, OUT! EVERYONE OUT RIGHT NOW!”

“Hey don’t-“

“I made it clear I didn’t want to talk about it! I’ve already had a shit day a-and I’m really… I really need some peace”

“Why is it such a big deal? Just-“

Through gritted teeth I make it very clear how serious I am, “Dash don’t… don’t do this”

Taken aback she doesn’t argue, leaving with a slower scurry then the rest of the girls. “Ugh, fine”

Appalled by my behavior Rarity raises her snout and refuses to look my way as she heads out. Followed after, Shy and Spike leave awfully spooked from the whole outburst, checking back one last time before heading out.

Lastly as Twilight reaches the door I stop her, “Twi you can stay” and she obliges walking back inside toward the couch while avoiding looking my way.

I have to also grab Pinkie before she leaves as well, clearly forgetting she lives here. “Pinkie where are you going?”

“But you said-“

“I wouldn’t ask you to leave like that Pinkie. Definitely wouldn’t yell at you like that”

“Okay… sorry”

“You didn’t…” I catch myself as she walks over to Twilight joining her on the couch, the atmosphere now terribly somber.

Taking a seat at the end of the very same couch I go to put my head in my hands only to notice they’re shaking. Embarrassed at the sight I try and brush it aside squeezing my hands together. “I’m really sorry for yelling. I shouldn’t have done that… I’m really sorry”

I hadn’t know what else to say. Sure I was overwhelmed from everything but to absolutely blow a gasket and shout like that was completely unacceptable. Especially to ponies I call my friends. It begs the question whether I deserve to even call them that at this point.

“I didn’t mean to make you all stressed like that Joey. I didn’t know everypony was so upset today! I just thought maybe you’d be happy to see everypony when you got home…”

“Maybe my illness is a sign I don’t belong”

Offended at the suggestion Twilight hopped off the couch over to my side, placing a hoof on my hand. “Don’t be ridiculous”

“I don’t Twi, it seems like I can’t even keep myself from treating my own friends like crap. Hell the more I live here the more I realize I don’t fit in. You, Pinkie, all the girls, you’re all much better ponies than I am… much better people. Shit, even Dash was probably right to be so pissed at me, I’m sure I said something stupid to deserve it”

“No they were wrong in what they did. Clearly you were trying to help out everypony today and you got a little caught up. I know the girls will see that once they sleep on it, I just know it”

Nodding while hugging close to me Pinkie joins in as well, “Yeah and I was wrong for inviting everypony without asking you first!”

“We’re not prefect either Joey so don’t always blame yourself. I was in the wrong too yelling like that earlier, I let my headache get the best of me”

“You feel okay now?”

“Yeah I feel a little better after that nap. I was just so upset my theory didn’t pan out. I really wanted this for you” she’s almost on the verge of tears when I look her way.

“It’ll be fine Twi, please don’t worry about it. There’s no need for a rush”

“I shouldn’t be making promises I can’t keep. If there’s a lesson I’ve learned today it’s that”

“If there’s a lesson I’ve learned today it’s to stop being such an ass”

“You’re not a donkey silly, you’re just to worried about helping others!”

“Pinkies right. You really should pace yourself. Why did you even try to help everypony all in one day?”

“Cause I… I don’t know. I thought it would be better if I kept my mind busy instead of worrying all day”

“But you ended up making everypony mad instead and worrying about them huh?”

“I mean I wouldn’t call what Flutters seemed like mad”

“And where was AJ? Did ya go see her too?”

“I did. Honestly it was the only pony I seemed to not fuck anything up with”

“You didn’t.. screw anything up with me though. That’s another positive”

“Yup and I’m not mad either!”

“Pinkie I didn’t see you today”

“Which is ever more impressive that I’m not mad!” Hugging tightly she gets her fair share of human arm to squeeze.

“See? Today wasn’t all that bad. Besides, it was a good learning experience. You can even make a entry in the friendship journal!” Sharing a glance Pinkie and I both jokingly gag. “Okay it’s not that bad!”

Laughing it off I finally feel a little of todays stress start to seep away, coaxed off and replaced with the warm embrace of two lovely mares. With a peck to my cheek I’m caught off guard making Pinkie laugh even harder.

“Heheheh *snort* this was fun!”

“Maybe for you. I don’t plan to make a habit of doing this again, that’s for sure”

“If you want, I can help make a calendar for which days one of the girls could use your help? That way you don’t have to run around worrying and we don’t have to get all upset because there isn’t six of you”

“Actually, yeah could we do that? That sounds like a great idea”

“Sure, how about we start making it right now?”

“Y-yeah! Why not? Here I’ll go get everypony some drinks, stay here”

“Just wine for me please”

“And you can surprise me Joey!” And just as I get out of earshot Pinkie takes the opportunity to lean over, whispering in Twilights ear. “We should help relieve some of his stress and I think I know a pretty good way”

Flustered as Pinkie began to go over her pervy plan in Twilights ear, she squirmed in embarrassment just thinking of every well described detail.

“Y-y-you r-really think we s-should?”

And with a slow nod Pinkie turned her head back to me, licking her lips in anticipation.

“It’s the… only way”

“I don’t know, when I’m really stressed a nice herbal tea-“

“Shhh shhh shh Twilight. We can do this”

“We can? I can?!” With the nervous feeling growing in her gut it began to feel like an impossibility.

“Just follow my lead”

Author's Note

Y’all want clop taking place right after this chapter or just a time skip starting next chapter? Choice is yours

Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day/night :)