Author's Note

I’m so tired

Have a nice day/night
Hope You Enjoy ;)

6 Downhill

I continue to scan across the article, my body feels cold. ‘Traveling prance ice cream salesman was found dead of an overdose within Ponyville motel-‘ I stop reading, putting the paper down. My look down to my shaking hand.

I... killed him?

I feel a touch against my shoulder, I look to the perpetrator. It’s Twilight giving me a concerned look, “Joey, it couldn’t have been you alright. You would have needed to be around him for days to cause anything like this. Remember it’s a constant outward flow of your magic not something that sticks!” I brush away her hoof.

“Twilight I touched that ponies magic, I probably made him sick! I fucking killed him...” I sink to the floor with my head in my hands. “I’m a murderer, I knew better then to not wear the stupid collar but I was too selfish about being uncomfortable” My voice is barely above a whisper.

“Joey stop it! You didn’t cause this!”

“Then why did you show me that article huh? Why do you look so worried?” She looks away.

“I didn’t want you to see it later and think it was your fault, It isn’t Joey I swear”

Although Twilight gives me her word, I can’t help but feel like she’s lying to protect me. “I think I’m going to be sick” I stumble away to the bathroom barley able to keep my balance, throwing up anything that was residing in my stomach.

“Jeez Joey are you okay?” Its Spike.

“Yeah... just feel a little sick” I say while laying next to the toilet. Twilight rushes over to the two of us.

“Spike I think you should go to Rarity’s today” She shoos him off away from the bathroom door.

“What why? Wait- hey! What gives!” Spike argues while being shoved outside by Twilight.

“I’ll tell you later Spike just please go to Rarity’s”

He looks suspiciously at Twilight. “Alright but I expect you to tell me what’s wrong later”

“I promise now hurry up” The dragon gives a grumpy look while walking away. Twilight hurries back inside to see me washing out my mouth and brushing my teeth.

“Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” Her worry is plastered across her body, her mane frizzled and wet from removing her towel.

I can’t possibly worry this pony anymore than I have already, I need to collect myself. “Can we just forget what we saw and move on with today, I can’t think about this shit right now” I can’t possibly look Twilight in the eyes right now, guilt tearing at my very being.

“Okay but I just want you to know you didn’t have anything to do with it” I ignore what she says heading to my room to grab my clothes.

We had planned for this to be my moving out day, I gather all my clothing and belongings with me in a suitcase as I head downstairs. Twilight still visibly worried about me, watches me walk past her, she fiddles with her hooves uncertain what to do. She looks to me as if I were a bomb waiting to go off at any moment, cautious of her next move. I walk downstairs into the library leaving my stuff near the entrance.

“Joey, Pinkie planned a moving out party for you today, it was supposed to be a surprise. If your not feeling well enough I cou-“

“No that’s fine Twi, I’d like a distraction” I turn to face her giving a small smile, my eyes failing to convey the same feeling.

I’m dying inside, the sickness that comes with my own self disgust is eating away at me. My head is filled with self deprecation, things I hate most about me currently.

Complain, fuck up, and make everything worse for all these ponies... and now to top it all off, I go and get somepony killed

Twilights concern seems to grow with the front I put on, “Joey look, it’s okay if your-“

I interrupt her again, “I’m fine Twilight, your right. It couldn’t have been my fault” Her frown remains but this seems to be enough to get her off my back for now. “So when’s the party? Should I leave and come back?”

“Well, it’s supposed to be in your new place, I was going to distract you for the day while everypony gets the party ready. Pinkie made sure not to invite too many ponies, it’s the girls, Spike, and the princesses if they have time”

“That’s fine”

The Princesses... Im not that important but I selfishly want to meet Luna in person. Her presence in my dream brought up so many more questions than answers.

“So... is there anything you want to do?” Twilight asks nervously, still worried about my mental health. She must know how hard I am on myself.

“Honestly I’m really tired Twilight... I wouldn’t mind just laying around or something. If.. if that’s okay with you”

“That’s fine Joey, how about we just go back to my room and I let you relax on my bed. It’s much better than the one you have in the guest room”

“You don’t have to give me company Twi, I really don’t want you to waste your day off doing nothing. Also I can sleep in the guest room it’s fi-“ Looking away as I say this before I’m interrupted.

“No, your using my bed. Your all stressed out and, I’d like to spend time with you even if we do nothing. Your my friend, you being you is enough” She gives me a reassuring smile.

I blush, “ok..”

We head upstairs into Twilights room as I fall face first into her bed. She giggles at my landing leaping up next to me while pulling a book from her private bookshelf on the wall. Reading glasses magically appear on to her face, just at the end of her nose. I really enjoy her purple eyes, there dark shade a favorite color of mine. Her facial features although horse like, still resemble somewhat of a human face, it’s extension from her head rather flat unlike a horse. Her face is kinda pretty now that I look at it and... crimson? I realize I’ve been caught staring at her.

“Sorry” I say, moving my face back to the mattress.

“Joey... if y-you’d like... um” I look back to Twi, her face still flushed as she stumbles over her words. “Y-You can lay y-your head in my lap...” Her gaze away from me. These ponies sure do like to cuddle.

I move myself over to the pony, laying my head between her back legs resting myself just below her. She has herself against the pillows on her bed frame with me laying in a straight line away from her, my head just below her own, my eyes closed. I trust her, she is good enough to me to know her intentions are pure. I lay there for a moment before I feel her hoof gently brush against my head, like Pinkies, it’s firm but soft to the touch. I sink into her hoof giving off a noise of my satisfaction, not sensual enough to be considered a moan. My body loosens up, along with my ability to stay silent.

“Your too nice to me Twilight” I can hear her put the book down next to me along with those reading glasses.

“I don’t think I’ve been a good enough friend to you honestly... it’s my fault everything has gone so wrong” Twi responds. My eyes remain shut.

“I told you it’s okay, I forgave you already”

“That doesn’t make it right, it doesn’t fix what I’ve done. I hurt you and I can’t ever fix the pain I’ve caused”

“That’s fine, you repay me everyday with trying your best”

“That’s not enough”

“It is to me, isn’t that all that matters?” There’s a silence following what I say, neither of us talk for a bit. Her hoof doesn’t stop working away at my head, helping distract me from my thoughts.

“Joey, why do you feel like you owe us girls?” Her voice so close is rather soothing, it’s tone sends shivers down my body.

“Because I’m a hassle, and you girls put up with me”

“That’s not true Joey, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself”

“Neither should you purple” I feel her hot breath get near my ear.

“That’s a terrible nickname” She whispers right next to my head, her voice tickles my ear. I defend my ear with my hand.

“Stop that you bully” I say with a smile, my eyes now open looking up to the pony above me.

“Please, if I wanted to bully you I’d do something like... kissing you” She says with a blush.

My face reaches the same temperature as her own, “That’s sexual harassment, not bullying”

She giggles, “Isn’t harassment a type of bullying?”

I boop her nose, “Wouldn’t you know... bully”
We stay like this for a few seconds before my thoughts go back to earlier, a frown returning to me face. Twilight frowns with me, seeing my change of attitude.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t deserve to be happy” I look away to the balcony in her room, “I... I hate myself, and I can’t find a single redeeming thing about me” I feel myself start to get emotional and bite my lip.

Twilight continues to scratch my head. “It’s okay to cry Joey” Her words so careful feel like the final blow to the dam holding back my emotions. I fight back not wanting her to see me at my worst. “No matter what happens, whenever you feel like you’ve fallen apart, me and the girls will be here to pick up the pieces, I promise Joey”

All the recent stress finally becomes too much as I’m unable to bear it anymore. Tears run down my face and my lip begins to tremble. “I-I’m sorry” Twilight scoots down next to me and hugs my face into her chest. I let myself go, feeling slightly worse knowing I’m messing up her fur. She hums to herself while rubbing my back, easing me into sleep after some time.

Waking up I look around my surroundings to see that I’m still resting in Twilights chest, her fur all matted where my face was before, sorry about that Twi. I look up at her sleeping face, it rests peacefully with a small smile. She’s even cute when she’s asleep... wow that sounds creepy, trust me I’m not a weirdo.

I scratch her back in an attempt to rouse her looking back to the balcony, it’s still light outside, probably mid day. After a few more scratches Twi starts to stir, mumbling in her sleep.

“No... no I didn’t eat your cake Celestia I swear” I chuckle at the strangeness of her dream, maybe that’s happened before? She opens her eyes looking to mine with a blush at the situation.

“Morning love” Her eyes widen as her face reaches a level of red that I didn’t even know existed. I start to laugh booping her nose, “I’m kidding, that’s an expression humans use for close friends. I doesn’t mean what you think silly”

She calms down giving me a light frown, “That wasn’t funny” I smile before blowing a raspberry on her stomach. She panics at the sudden feeling squeezing my head with her legs.

“Ahh, Joey stop!” She laughs as I stop my assault spitting a few hairs out of my mouth. She looks at me still blushing, “Well nice to see you in a playful mood”

I lift myself up next to the pony grinning. “I still don’t feel like doing anything but I feel like I should pay you back for comforting this big baby”

She giggles, “Your not a baby, everypony has bad days”

“This ‘pony’ seems to have more than just bad days” I say pointing toward myself with my thumb. She doesn’t smile at my joke, rather grows a small frown. “Look I’ll cheer you up with a gift” I say with a wink.

She turns her head sideways in confusion. “What do you have in mind?”

I grin leaning in right next to her ear whispering, “I could rub you out” She blushes brightly pulling away. “What? I give great back massages! What were you thinking?” Grinning at her as I say this.

“You big perv! You said that all weird on purpose! I demand a proper massage, only then will I be willing to accept an apology” She turns her head up away from me all snooty.

“Yes ma’am!” I salute while getting to work on the ponies back. I’ve had a little practice giving massages with my last relationship but never on a pony. I work away at her back as best I can, my efforts seemingly paying off as she coos against my hands.

“Your hooves are wonderful. I bet you’d give the spa ponies a run for their business” Her face muffled into the bed.

I chuckle, “I’ll have to check up on that, maybe I could learn a thing or two for you girls”

“You too wonderful Joey, there’s no need for you to do that”

She moans a little as I work at her back, her slip up not really embarrassing but rather satisfying, knowing I’m successful with my efforts. The softness of her fur is wonderful, along with her squishy nerd body, she turns to dough in my hands. It’s somewhat fun working the kinks out of her back, also learning a little on pony anatomy on how her spine is shaped with the muscles in her back. It’s all new to me and entertaining for the moment. After a while she is barely awake, I settle for drawing shapes with her fur, its ability to somewhat hold shape allows for some fun.

The stillness breeds anxiety, my own head brewing up reasons to hate myself. Just like that I was back to before, I couldn’t have even an hour of peace. I lay down next to Twilight facing the ceiling, her one eye that’s visible looks to me with sadness. She lifts her head.

“Your still not feeling well?” She says this not with impatience but rather defeat. Im too much for this pony, she can’t possibly keep me distracted long enough to live happy.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t waste your energy trying to make me happy” My eyes convey my feelings on the matter, lifeless without color.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, even if I have to travel across Equestria to undo what I’ve done” She stares at me with utmost attention.

“Stop, don’t say that!” I get up quickly. “You don’t have to fix it Twi I’m fine, just ignore my whining and understand that I’m okay. Trust me, I’ll be alright”

She looks to me in disbelief, “but.. that’s not fair, that’s not fair to you at all. I couldn’t consider myself a friend of I didn’t try something! Your suffering! I can see it!” She pleads with me.

I face away, “Just get me antidepressants or something... that’ll be enough”

“Those should be a last resort, they change the way you are Joey, and I want the real full you, the one calls me nerd, and jokes with Spike. The Joey that cares about everypony more than himself, I want to be the one who cares for you when you yourself don’t...can’t you see that?” Eyes brimming with tears.

“I’m not worth it” My head lowered in shame. A sudden pull faces me back to Twilight her hoof against my face.

Our faces are close, very close. I can feel her breath against my face, my nose almost brushing against her own. We stare into each others eyes for a moment, I feel us both closing the gap slowly. Our mouths almost touch before I move my head past her own to the side, pulling her into a hug. I’m not ready for something like that, I don’t think I ever will. Starting something the way I am now would be pulling someone into my own damnation, making them suffer with me.

“J-Joey I...” She starts, her voice cracking.

“Shhh, I know... but this is my problem to bare” She breaks down into me.

“Y-you idiot... y-you idiot!” She shouts between sobs, punching me as I hug her against me. A tear falls down my own face, I’m sorry Twilight. I let her cry until she falls asleep, I leave her there in her bed, exiting the home with my stuff still inside. I need some time alone.

I wander through Ponyville unable to notice my surroundings, a dark cloud seems to fog my senses everywhere I go. Suddenly I’m struck by something against my head, I stumble placing my hand on the spot I was hit. My ears are ringing, I look around for the cause seeing a large rock near my shoe. Pulling away my hand from my head to see it covered in blood, not a life threatening amount but enough to feel it leak down the side of my head.

“YA LIKE THAT VARMIT? I KNOW YA KILLED THAT PONY WIT YER VOODOO MAGIC. YUR LIKE THAT ZEBRA ARNT CHA?” The hick pony shouts, spit flying from his mouth as he shouts.

I lose it. I start to walk toward him my face distorted with anger. He reaches to grab another stone as I approach but as he lifts himself back up to throw it he underestimated my speed. I grab his hoof with my arm lifting him onto two feet, then swiftly hook into his gut. I let him fall to the ground curling into himself, gasping for air. I jump on top of him beating his face with my fists. My arms burn as I wail against his skull with everything I have before I’m shoved off by another pony.

“Easy! Your going to kill him! I know he’s an idiot but that was insane!” Some stallion with a black coat shouts at me.

Another steps in tending to the unconscious pony, it’s a mare, her features somewhat familiar to the hick I had just beaten “You were the reason that pony killed himself I bet, everything was okay round here til you showed up! It’s no coincidence”

Ponies gather around looking horrified at my art, the hick ponies face swollen and bruised, a small puddle of blood forming just below his face. I look at my own hands, there covered in his blood and some of my own, my skin split where I hit against his skull. I pick myself up and hurry back to Twilights. Ponies look to me with great fear, one mare hiding her children from me. They think I’m a monster, and it won’t be long before they all think I had something to do with that suicide.

I reach Twilights shutting the door and slumping down against it. My arms hug my legs against my body, I sit there shaking from adrenaline. Everything feels so fucked now, I don’t know what to do anymore. I give myself time to settle down. My face feels hot and sticky so I get up and head to the bathroom. I clean my wound in the sink and place a bandage around my head like a headband, Twilight is going to ask questions. Heading to the kitchen I have a glass of water and read more into that article.

‘Locals say he seemed to have high spirits in his first day in Ponyville but others say there were signs of something going on after a few days. The stallion Crème Glacée was 28 years old, and has family back in Prance, still not knowing of the news’

I stop reading wondering why the fuck did I start in the first place? Why do I torture myself so? Looking at his age I realize he’s rather young for a pony, there general lifespan around 100-110 years old, reaching maturity/consent at the age of 21. He would be somewhere around his early twenties in human age. I stole this ponies life....

I get up and head back to the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. My hair is wild and unkept, a frown adorn my face surrounded by a scraggly beard, dark bags around my eyes and defeat ridden across my slumped form. I punch the mirror where my face resides cracking it, a chunk of glass falling into the sink.

You deserve pain for the suffering you’ve caused

I grab the shard in my hand, it’s sharpness immediately cuts my hand. I gasp for a second but move it toward my arm. I deserve this. Blood leaks from my hand onto my arm. Suddenly the glass disappears from my hand, its replaced by a glowing light, starting to heal my wound.

“What are you doing?!? And what happened to your head?!?” Twilight rushes to my side as I fall down to the ground sitting next to her. I stare at her unable to say anything, I look away. She continues to heal my hand and repairs the mirror as well. Then pushes me back to her room and onto her bed.

“Why did you hurt yourself?” She then looks to my head saying, “You did that as well didn’t you?”

I shake my head no. She comes and sits next to me hugging my side, her head resting on my shoulder. “Do I get an answer?”

“There was a pony who kept bothering me, I lost control” My voice monotone and tired.

“It’s okay Joey, I will fix everything alright? Just please stop and think about how I would feel if you got seriously hurt”

“You could just heal me”

She frowns, “I can’t heal all wounds Joey, just be careful... please” She moves to heal my head.

“Wait leave that!”

“Why?” Confused of my strange request.

“I want to remember that I fucked up, so next time I’m better” She smiles rubbing her head into my shoulder.

“You really are an idiot sometimes”

“I know”

“Why were you hurting yourself though?” I can’t give an answer.

“I won’t do it again, that’s all you need to know” Twilight doesn’t push the issue, settling for rubbing my back instead.

I tell Twilight more about the hick and what I’ve done and she responds with reassuring me that I need to give the town ponies time to settle down. I agree not only because she’s right but because I don’t want to see any of them for a while either. We pass the time talking and reading a book together, it’s one of Twilights favorites. Something about a pony named Starswirl the Bearded? I’m not sure if that was right but it’s his biography. I’m captivated by the absurdity of his tales, us reading long enough til it’s time to leave for my ‘surprise’ party. We head out the door, with my items in a suitcase and my backpack on. We head toward my new home. It’s late and few ponies are out, we’re able to get out of town without any issue. After a 5-10 minute walk we reach my new home on the outskirts of the Everfree, just out of town. The home is dark and quiet, but my knowledge of what’s to come fudges up that reality.

I step inside with Twi behind me, suddenly the house ignites with light, every candle and the fireplace lighting at once.

“SUPRISE!” The girls and Spike leap from the corners and behind the furniture to surprise me. I resist the urge to flinch even though I knew it was coming. A smile a spreads across my face. I can manage to keep a happy front for these ponies for night, they deserve the best me I can give. I pretend to act somewhat shocked looking to pick with disappointment.

“Pinkie you know I don’t like surprises” I cross my arms, staring her down. She giggles, bouncing over toward me only to jump into my chest forcing me to catch her. I hold her like a baby against me.

“Sorry Joey but I couldn’t help it! I had this big idea for how to surprise you and I wasn’t going to let it go to waste!” She finishes with a big dopy smile, her tongue sticking out the side. I smile back looking up to observe my surroundings.

Hanging from the ceiling are balloon letters spelling out ‘we will miss you’ and ‘moving day’. Streamers hang at random from the ceiling support beams along with several balloons of different colors, shapes, and sizes. The kitchen table although small in size carried a large cake taking up most of its space, it’s color white with blue frosting spelling out ‘nice home’. I chuckle at the mild compliment looking to a pile of wrapped gifts just behind everypony near the fireplace. When I say everypony I should clarify, it’s true to Twilights word of the girls and Spike, sadly no Princess. It doesn’t bother me though as I didn’t expect a ruler of the damn world to find time for some aliens birthday.

My stomachs starts to itch as I realize the pink pony in my grasp is tickling my side. “Pinkie easy!” I laugh for a bit before dropping the prankster to her hooves.

Looking back to the ponies around me I finally notice all the attention I’m getting, reaching my hand to my neck while looking away. “H-hey girls, thanks for.. well all this” Moving my hands to convey the party room, the house entirely cleaned up even more than the day before. They must have done some more interior work beforehand, how thoughtful.

“Ah shucks sugar, though me and you don’t know much bout each other, the other girls say you been quite the helper. Id reckon me and you will get along like two peas in a pod!” AJ tips her hat to me as she says this.

I smile back offering a handshake, “Yea, I’d like that. We should talk during the party about me helping out at your farm sometime”

She takes my hand shaking it firmly, her strength clearly more than mine as she nearly pulls my arm off my body. “That’d be great! Me n Big Mac could always use another hand” While I shake Aj’s hand, Fluttershy awkwardly scoots over looking off shyly as she speaks.

“S-since were n-neighbors now, d-don’t be afraid to a-ask for help sometimes... if you need to! Not saying that you would ever need help or anything I.. I just” I stop her with my hand.

“I get whatcha mean Shy, and the same goes both ways. I’m not going to have much to do now that Twilight doesn’t have her test subject around all the time, I’ll have to fill in my to do list with something” She smiles back to me nodding in agreement. Twi scowls across the room at me drawing a laugh from everypony.

Spike is next to walk over with Rarity in stride. “Don’t forget who your bro is too! I’ll come over whenever your bored alright”

“Do take care of the extra clothes I made you dear, I made sure to use a less colorful pallet this time” She giggles as I look down toward my bright pink hoodie, hey I didn’t choose the color.

Dash flys over to me rubbing my hair with her hoof, “And don’t forget who your cool best girl friend is!” It takes a moment for her to realize what she has said before she blushes. “I didn’t mean it like that!” Yelling angrily at the laughter from her slip up.

“Alright Dash we get it, you got the hots for me no need to yell it out loud. Just go take care of yourself in the bathroom and meet us when you’ve cooled off” She punches my shoulder staring at me with a death glare. The snort my joke draws from Twilight is enough to make it worth it. “Alright how about we break into that cake huh? It looks delicious!”

“Of course it does silly, I baked it just for this special occasion! A special occasion that only could use a special cake for a special pony!” Pinkie hops back and forth in the kitchen as I hand out plates, Twilight cutting the cake meanwhile.

“Pinkie you make me sound retarded” She giggles. Wow no denial.

Everypony grabs a slice and heads over to the living room talking with one another over the recent events in Ponyville or each other’s lives. Dash comes over to me as I sit there listening to Fluttershy talk about helping out her bear friend, sweat visibly leaking down my brow. “Hey” she whispers. I lean my head over to hear what she has to say.

“I heard about the fight that happened earlier, I’m not sure if the others have gotten wind of it but just know if that stallion messes with you again, just tell me and I’ll set him straight” Her voice carries an anger and threatening tone I didn’t think possible of a pony.

“Thanks Dash, I’ll make sure to do that but something tells me I won’t be seeing him again” We chuckle to each other, and I go back to sweating over Shy’s story.

The time passes as I enjoy a few glasses from a punch bowl Pinkie brought, it’s light kick telling me she spiked it, what a trouble maker. It’s somewhere around 8 o clock where we start to play some card games or tell funny stories of our past, AppleJack, who’s name I now know told an especially interesting story on how she beat Rainbow in their last “running of the leaves” competition. Apparently it’s some holiday celebrated in the fall in Equestria based on exactly what you’d think, the falling of the leaves. It’s not similar to Thanksgiving, that holiday not existing in this world, rather it’s like a field day of events.

Pinkie chimes up, “Time to open the gifts! Open mine first!” She leaps over to the pile bring me a package covered in Pink wrapping paper covered in cupcakes. The box is quite heavy and large relative to my own size, I’m unsure even how Pinkie got this here but it’s better not to ask questions. I open the package to reveal an assortment of pots and pans for cooking, something my new kitchen still required.

“Thanks Pinkie, this is a pretty clutch gift” I hold out my fist for a hoof bump only for Pinkie to squeeze me into a large hug. “Okay Pinkie, my lungs please” She pulls away sheepishly.

“Oops... sorry!” Rubbing her fluffy hair with her hoof, a big grin across her face.

“Alright who’s gift next?”

I continue to open each gift noticing a recurring pattern, each one being helpful with my new home. Fluttershy got me a tool to mow my lawn and other gardening equipment, I explained to her I had no idea how to take care of a garden so she volunteered to help me out one day. Rarity, like she had said earlier did in fact make me another set of clothes, it’s colors more consistent with blacks, grays, and whites. It’ll be nice not to walk around looking so flamboyant for a change. Twilight and Spike got me a bunch of books they knew I’d like based on the genres I would be caught reading, along with a small bookshelf I can put up in my room. Rainbow got me some gym equipment, things like weights, battle rope, and a yoga mat which I had to explain I’ve never done before. Well that’s a lie but it was in high school, she promised me she would teach me some positions another time. Lastly AppleJack got me my very own Stetson, she knew I would come help sometime and had one made with Rarity’s help for when I do.

I thank them all for their gifts, feeling blessed to have friends as good as these ponies. Somehow we end in a group hug, the whole situation bleeds sappy. The party goes back to talking about my new home and things that they spiffed up while I was gone, apparently the girls also got me a bed frame, mattress, and bedsheets for my room as well. I start to feel guilty, I couldn’t possibly pay them back for all of this. The energy I had from the party starts to fade. Not wanting to be a party pooper I head outside to the back porch and lean over the railing. The porch is just like the one out front however, there is no exit, my backyard stands below the home it’s location the top of a hill making my porch more of a balcony. I look out to the night sky observing it’s beautiful display, untouched by pollution or city lights that would otherwise ruin this experience. It’s slightly chilly outside, getting closer to winter as we go through the fall.

“This is peaceful” I say to no pony in particular.

“Indeed it is” I jump to the side in a defensive position, my one foot raised high and my arms above my head. It’s Luna!

“Jesus Luna you scared the shit out of me, how long have you been there?”

She giggles, “We just arrived, and who is this Jesus you speak of?”

I wave her off, “Listen it makes people uncomfortable to talk about religion so just know he’s a cool guy” She shrugs.

“Thou enjoy their new home?”

“Yea, it’s great” I say rather bummed out.

“Why is this troubling young human?” She asks confused of my attitude.

I try and change the subject, “Young? Pfft you cant be older than me by 5 yea- oh yeah the moon banishment”

She smiles at my silliness, “Although we might appear young, know we have over 1000 years under these wings”

“Well you fooled me, you still look very beautiful for a mare of your age, actually much younger than your sister”

She chuckles, “Yes, cake would be her undoing” I laugh along side her. “So what is it that bothers you so? Don’t think you could out wit me Joe, I see your game” I frown.

“Alright alright you got me but, I want to hear your story first. Why would your sister do something like that? 1000 years seems very excessive” She doesn’t seem to react to my question visibly but I swear I saw the slightest change in her eye.

“We.. I accept your deal however you must follow through with your end of the bargain” I nod in agreement. “Where should we begin... I begin” I give her a thumbs up and a smile on the save, she’s clearly trying her best to not speak in an old dialect.

“I shall use this as practice for our speech as well, speak if we make an error”

“I gotcha, don’t worry” Flashing my best smile.

“Thou is a strange one indeed” She giggles.

“Your, Luna, you should use, your instead of thou”

“Your is a strange one?” She asks tilting her head to the side innocently.

I face palm, “sorry no I mean say, ‘your a strange one’ instead. I should’ve clarified that, my bad”

After some time of me listening to Luna’s story with the occasional slip up, well I shouldn’t say occasional as at one point I gave up just telling her to speak the way she feels comfortable with, we find ourselves at the end of her story. To sum it up quickly, she had become jealous of her sisters attention feeling that her own ponies cared little of her and her night sky. Her jealousy led to anger and frustration eventually leading to her searching for power to over throw her sister leading to her own banishment.

“Listen, I understand you made a mistake but I still feel like the punishment was absurd”

“I tried to plunge Equestria into an eternal night!”

“You were sad and confused, your sister should have looked to help you rather than banish you. I’m sorry that I can’t understand what you went through but if I could go back in time to stop what happened I would”

“We were to far for redemption, ‘twas too late for us... me ugh this new dialect is frustrating” She stomps her hoof, slipping for a moment showing me the mare that’s still under her professional image, I smile.

“Luna the way you speak is fine, just do what’s comfortable... and I don’t think it was too late” She looks at me confused. “It’s never too late to save anypony” It feels cheesy as it leaves my mouth but the moon princess seems to think otherwise.

“Thank you for believing that Joey, it’s nice to know thou wouldn’t give up on a pony no matter the doing. We would say the element of loyalty has a challenger for the position” She says returning my smile.

“Don’t let Dash hear you say that, she’d be pissed”

“We can see why thou is so good with friends, perhaps we too could become as such?”

“I’d say we already are, I mean your pretty cool in my book. Whenever you want, just swing by for a talk or something”

“Oh joyous is this occasion!” She lifts her front hoofs clapping them together before realizing her company and composing herself, a blush still remaining. “This is very beneficial to us, we do not have many friends outside of the castle”

“I’m flattered that you see me as beneficial” I say placing my hand on my chest.

“Now, what was it that bothered thou?”

I stare off into the Everfree, my gaze appearing to look beyond its thickets and vine ridden trees. “Do you ever feel like you can’t pay back what you owe? That no matter what you do, you feel as if it’s not enough... that you need to do more?”

She places a hoof on my back getting my attention. “To feel beholden is only natural, letting trivial feelings rule over your life will only cause thou trouble. Learn to ignore this feeling Joey, it will bring nothing but conflict. Know that the one you feel like you owe likely doesn’t feel the same way”

I let her words soak in for a moment, enjoying Luna’s night sky.

“Thanks, Luna. I’ll try my best to remember what you said”

She smiles, “That is enough for us, and thank you Joey for your time” She begins to fly away up into the night. I shout out to her as she flys away.

“My door is always open!” She flys across the bright moon and disappears into the black sky. I walk back into the living room to see most of the ponies tuckered out.

Fluttershy is fading in and out of sleep, Twilight is scolding Spike for something, Dash is completely out cold on my couch next to Shy, AJ and Rarity had to head out to get an early start on work tomorrow and Pinkie was cleaning up some of the mess left by the party, bags under her eyes telling me all I need to know. These ponies are beat, and this party train has reached the station, time to play conductor.

“Alright everypony, I think we should wrap things up, it’s getting late and I can tell when you ponies are pooped”

Fluttershy snaps awake at this, sheepishly looking around to see if anypony noticed. Pinkie gives me a tired wink and continues her cleaning. Twilight and Spike agree and join in with cleaning things up and Dash still remains out on the couch. I get to helping out as well, it doesn’t take even 20 minutes before we’ve cleaned most of the mess and I wave Fluttershy goodbye. Looking back from the window into the home away from Shy’s departure, I admire the work, my home now cozy and comfortable enough to live in, much different the just the day before. I can’t help but smile a little, proud of the hard work me and these ponies put into this place, it finally paying off. As Pinkie gathers most of her party goods into her seemingly magical saddle bags, it’s capacity endless, I walk over giving her a hand.

“Thanks Pinkie for throwing this party and helping out with my move in, I don’t know how you manage to keep up this busy lifestyle” I reach to the nearby unused party hats, stuffing them into the side pocket.

“This is nothing! I didn’t even bring my party cannon” The confidence to what she says tells me she’s speaking the truth.

“A party cannon? Knowing you that’s likely an actual cannon that shoots confetti or something. I’m glad you didn’t bring it now that I think about it” She giggles.

“Sorry Joey, it’s for special big party moments! Plus I know you would get mad if I brought it” She gives me a dopy grin.

“Yea... probably” We both laugh a little, Pinkie strapping her now full saddlebag over her back.

I walk Pinkie outside seeing her off not before however, she stops and turns around. “Hey Joey?” I give her my attention. “Can I get a hug? I’m just a little tired out and seeing how I had to make this party today-“ I hold my arms open to Pinkie while giving a stern look.

“Pinkie it’s fine now hurry up and get over here”

She cheers before running over and hugging me on two hooves. She holds on for more than a comfortable period of time, her grip pulling tighter when I go to move away. “Just a little more, I need this” I let her hug go a little longer before she pulls away. “Thanks Joey! Now I feel all recharged!” She bounces up and down to prove her point.

“Glad I could be of use, me the ‘pony charger’” I say the last line with my arm extended as if I was reading from a newspaper, giving my best Jonah Jameson impression.

“Oooo I love Spider-Man! Anyways I oughta go, bye bye Joey!” Before I can ask how she knows about Spider-Man, she bolts off toward Ponyville.

What a strange cat

Writing off my confusion as just Pinkie Pie nonsense I walk back to my new home to see Spike and Twilight just heading out, meeting me outside near the front door. We all look at one another for a moment unsure what to say. I decide to break the ice.

“Listen, you two. I’m... not very good with sentimental stuff or getting real sappy” I kick my foot around uncomfortable with the situation. “I’m grateful to call you two my friends... and even if this whole Equestria thing wasn’t planned, I’m glad I met both of you anyways. I don’t know if I would have wanted things any other way”

It’s true when I say that I wouldn’t want it any other way as I needed a change in my life but the people I was forced to leave behind will bother me for sometime, maybe until I die. I had friends I promised to be there for and others that cared about me, so disappearing from their lives without a trace makes me feel guilty even if it wasn’t my fault. I just wished there was a way for me to tell them I’m okay and apologize.

Both of them look to me with sadness in their eyes but smiles across their faces. We all know this is goodbye to the trio but it’s not the end to our friendship. “Yea.. I’m glad we met too, just make sure to invite me over sometimes alright?” Spike rubs a tear from his eye as he speaks.

“Our home will always be open, you know your welcome whenever” I can see the hurt in her eyes, it makes me want to change my mind but it’s for the best I move out.

“I know, I’ll be sure to come over often... and thanks, I couldn’t have done anything without you two” We share a group hug, then the two of them head back to town, I wave them off.

Walking back inside there’s still a few things left I need to clean up. I put the food away that’s left out and take care of the fireplace, making sure the flame isn’t dying out. As I poke at the timber a noise from behind startles me. I slowly turn my head to see what could have made the noise to see that Dash was still here, passed out on my couch. Figured as much.

I scoot over to her giving her nose a boop, it doesn’t wake her. Booping her nose once more in an attempt to reboot the pony doesn’t work either. I place my hand against my chin in thought, in what way could I wake her that it will be both entertaining and efficient? Dash’s snores are heard behind me as I pace back and forth, I turn back to look at the pony. She lays completely sprawled out on her back on my couch, her mouth completely open snoring loudly still. Eh, maybe I should just let her off the hook this time. Heading to my pile of gifts that the others brought over that were not wrapped up, I shuffle through some boxes to find one labeled ‘blankets/sheets’ and grab a red plaid blanket. I walk gingerly over to Dash, covering her in the blanket before extinguishing the remaining lit candles and heading off to my new bedroom.

Slipping into my pajamas, which having my own place means I can go back to what I slept in before I was brought over, wearing nothing but my underwear. I slip under the covers sighing in relief to finally be off my feet, the soft silk covers feeling wonderful against my bare skin. Laying in bed for a few minutes I start to become restless, my brain still very much awake and working in overtime, bringing up previous mishaps or memories that I don’t remember asking to think about. Minutes turns to an hour, I think back to the medication Twilight got me getting up from my bed grumbling in frustration. Reaching through my suitcase I still haven’t unpacked, I grab the insomnia medication. My focus on it for a few seconds, the lack of distractions starting to become evident.

If I just take them all I can really get a good nights rest...

I shake my head trying to remove such a disturbing thought. “What the fuck dude, get a grip” I tug at the collar on my neck. Doing this cause me to remember that I’m alone now, well Dash is here but she’s immune anyways, I can remove the stupid collar. Reaching toward it I place my fingers on the switch to remove it, I pause.

Take it off, then we can go fuck some other pony’s life over right?

I pull the collar tightly away from my neck, it’s rough material scratches my neck on the opposite side that I pull from. I can’t take it off, it’s safe right now but, I wont stop thinking about that stallion, his face etched into my skull. I don’t deserve to take it off. Taking a normal dose of the pills, I get back into bed with my collar still on, my constant tugging at it created a rash on my neck. Sleep takes me however, my brain isn’t done tormenting me.

It’s midday and me and Dash are back at the ice cream vendors stall, I look to him his features looking the same as first time I saw him. “What would you like Monsieur?” Glancing back to Rainbow I see her gazing over the menu.

Why am I back here? Did I go back in time?

Looking back to the vendor I’m taken by surprise, I fall onto my back. His lifeless body lays over the stall, bloody vomit runs from his mouth. I feel like throwing up, I kick my feet to get distance between us.

“MURDERER!” A pony shouts from behind.

“YOUR SICK!” “GUARDS!” “DISGUSTING” “BETTER OFF DEAD” An ensemble of voices ring out around me, ponies surround me staring at shouting.

They kick at me and throw rocks, continuing to yell. I try to get up before I’m dragged by a pony’s magic, I look to where he is bringing me only to see a large set of gallows that were not there before. I know this isn’t real but it still feels like it is, each rock I’m dragged over rips at my skin. The pony floats me over into the noose, tightening it around my neck. Its threading rubs my neck raw, my hands moving to take it off only to be bound. I look into the crowd my heart pounding violently in my chest, all this attention. My eyes go to Rainbow, she can’t look at me, disgusted by my actions. I can’t help but cry, truly alone now with nothing left and no hope, the pony next to me pulls at the lever holding me up.

I jolt awake, covered in a cold sweat. My heart racing a million miles per hour, I place my hand to my chest catching my breath. “Joey? Are you okay?” Its Dash looking awfully concerned next to my bed.

“Yea... I’m fine just a bad dream” She looks away embarrassed.

“Listen I’m not good with this stuff okay so just... stop trying to handle everything yourself! And... put a shirt on, your probably cold without any fur” I blush realizing the situation, she’s the first pony to see me without clothes.

“Sorry” I smile embarrassed, scratching the back of my neck. I’m met with a burning sensation from my rash, “Ow”.

Dash looks at the collar, “Why don’t you take it off? You said I’m immune or whatever anyways”

“I can’t...” I struggle to come up with an excuse before giving up. “And I can’t tell you why either, not yet”

She face hoofs, “Well can you tell me why you didn’t wake me up?”

I shrug my shoulders, “I don’t know, you looked tired! I didn’t want to wake you, you’d probably punch me or something”

“I would not! And can you please put a shirt on!” She asks blushing.

I smile, “Make me”

She grumbles for a moment. “Grrr, I’m going home!”

“Oh by the way, thanks for the gifts Rainbow, whenever you wanna hang out I’ll find time” I say with a smile.

Her blush intensifies, unable to decide whether she is angry or not, “Yea your welcome” and she storms off out of my room, heading outside to take off toward her cloud home.

I never understood what a cloud home was but I bet she doesn’t even have a home, she just sleeps in clouds each night calling them her home. The medication starts to kick in again seeing how my system hasn’t fully flushed out the magic bringing me back to my nightmare.

I’m on the gallows again but alone. I look over to where the executioner stood to see Luna there smiling. “Appears we have made it this time, fear not for we have removed thou’s nightmare” Standing proudly in front of her liberated victim. The noose around my neck fading away into dust.

“Guess it wasn’t all talk about you fucking up nightmares. Your like the sandman’s kryptonite!”

She giggles, “Tho- you speak in such strange ways”

“Guess you could say I’m... from out of this world” (insert sunglasses floating down onto my face)

Luna shakes her head in disappointment, “We should move on, ponies require us to protect their dreams”

“I understand, thanks Lu!” My nickname draws a confused smile as she flys off. I think she liked it. Without anything now preventing my sleep, I rest through the night.