The Conversion Bureau: Tourist Trap

My name is Evan and I have seen hell on earth. First I thought that the worst thing that could ever happen was the gas crash. Then the barrier of Equestria appeared. I was afraid of losing my humanity to be turned into a pony against my will. I had heard rumors of a man in Missouri who had created a future proof city that used the pony’s own magic to keep them out. Not only that but the rumors said he had made a paradise by powering all of the old machines, the rides, the cars, the lights, the TVs, and air conditioners with that same magic. It sounded so perfect. I could not convince my family to go with me, but I was too afraid to give up my hands for hooves. I left on a journey that took months. The one act of courage that saved me was leaving the cow with my family. If I had stolen it, I would not have been able to escape.

He called himself Coach Mann, he greeted all of the newcomers at the gate of what the people called Pleasure Island. He presented each of us the contract of citizenship, the contract that he claimed would save us all even if the government allowed the princesses of Equestria to enforce mandatory ponification, because this place was a different country. I felt lucky. I felt accomplished. He turned away many families because they had even one child who was not an adult by US law. He spoke so passionately, “Even a child who wanted with all their heart to come here, must be turned away because the law would see that as coercion, and I will not allow my country to be threatened!”

When I passed through the gates and saw the many guards on high towers surrounded by the magical devices that kept the ponies out, I felt safe. I felt like I was in heaven. I had not ridden a roller coaster or any kind of fair ride since I was a child, so I wanted to do that first. I was surprised to see everything run by small donkeys. I was finally told that they were a species from Equestria, but I was never told how they came to be working with Coach Mann. I tried asking one. At first he would not answer. He just pointed at a posting on a wall. It was the citizenship contract. I finally read it and learned that they were not allowed to speak. I asked if they could, and all I got was a sad nod of his head.

I saw many strange things. Most people had, for all that I could tell, taken leave of their senses. My parents used to call the behavior of rude people at amusement parks ‘season pass holders’ because they had not only grown accustomed to the wonder of such places, but greedy for all it had to offer. While taking in the sights the next day, I saw a man attack a defenseless donkey. I was startled. What had the poor creature done to deserve that? I was afraid to go any closer. To my shame, I watched from afar as the man punched the donkey in the face and throw a trashcan over him. I leaned over a counter and told the donkey there to call for an EMT. When the man left, I ran over to see if the donkey was alright, but his eye was swelling. I tried to ask if anything was broken. He didn’t answer me, just shook his head and sounded like he was crying.

I didn’t see an EMT, so I scooped up the donkey and carried him to the booth. The donkey there just looked at me open mouthed, shook his head, and pointed to the rules posted on the booth. I didn’t understand. I stayed with the injured donkey until he could get up and walked off to clean the trash he was told to pick up. When I recognized what he was doing I grabbed my chest, it hurt to watch him actually do what he was told by the man who brutally attacked him. Later I read the rules again and learned that the contract said the donkeys could only call medical services for humans and only for any other creature if it was life threatening. Out of a strange sense of grief and disgust, I went back to my room and slept the rest of the day.

The next day I saw how common the abuse was. I just didn’t want to see it the first two days, but while walking through a quieter part of the park I saw a man who after a moment I realized was nude and was having sex with one of the donkeys. I yelled out and started running, but out of nowhere, two guards in solid black armor grabbed my shoulders and told me to stop running and yelling because it was disturbing the peace. I frantically pointed and told them to stop that man. They looked and said he was just having fun. When I saw the man wrestle the donkey to the ground and heard the cries of pain as the man pulled his fist back and actually started punching into the poor creature’s anus, pulling his arm completely out before punching again. I thought I was going to throw up from what I was seeing. I begged the guards to stop this cruelty, but they would not. I tried to plead the terms of the contract. Surely, the donkey was going to need medical attention at least. They got angry with me for “trying to be a rules lawyer” and carried me away to the office of Coach Mann himself.

I told Mr. Mann everything I had seen, I begged him to do something, but he just stared at me quietly until I couldn’t say anything else. Then he said that if I wanted to leave, the gates open in the morning. He warned me though that if I stepped outside of the gates, I would never be allowed back in under any circumstances. He also warned that I only had one business week from my signing the contract to make a final decision about leaving, and then the contract would not allow me to leave at all.

I was scared. It took months to get here on my own and I barely made it. If I left, I may not make it home, and even if I did the world as I knew it was probably going to be invaded by ponies. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t do anything for the donkeys, and even more ashamed that I wanted to run from watching their suffering rather than trying to help them. I went around to other rooms in the hotel asking for advice. I found a few who had been given the same message and wanted to leave. I felt like it was going to be ok, as a group we could make it at least to the next city.

The next day came and we were ready to just walk through the gates and leave when the guards and Coach Mann himself stopped us. He said that I could go, but the others came here with animals that were being fed under the contract so if they wanted to leave they had to pay the balance or work off the debt first. None of whom had the money nor the time because this was also their last day to break the contract.

I was scared. I felt… I feel so guilty. I’m probably going to die out here, but I felt trapped between two terrible choices. Is it really better to die free than live in a gilded cage? I don’t know. I’m still trying to get home. Gods and goddesses, let me live long enough to help free those people or if you cannot, please forgive me for not staying to help them.