Author's Note

BEFORE we begin. I would like to express that I suck at writing so get out while you still can

A very bad feeling

It's Hearths Warming Eve and I'm alone in my house in the middle of our street in Equestria. I've been through way too much the past 12 moons.

My friends all moved on and got new lives. I graduated from high school which I'm not proud of. I also visited a hospital for teens and young adults with problems in their lives. Which was big and that's pretty much it. But above it all, it was hard for me.

I fell into this insane depression with no help whatsoever but honestly, It's not like I wanted help. I just wanted to be dead. Over the whole of this year I had this really stuck feeling that I still can't shake. I feel like I let down so many people. I was hospitalized for ten days and it was rough. But despite getting the help I needed I never felt much better afterwards and I had even lost touch with everything I love.

With the combination of my suicidal thoughts and actions and admitting to being depressed I lost my way. I knew I still had a home and people who loved me and lots of potential and also patience, but none of that seemed to matter because I was feeling depressed. And one day when I was at a swimming hole. I was in the middle of a busy road ready to take my own life. I ran and I tried to jump off that bridge, but my legs just froze in place right at the tip of the bridge. I was crying hard as my mom ran over to grab me. She said we were going to get me some help by taking me to Hasbro's Children's hospital but that didn't work because I was the adult age so they recommended Butler Hospital in Canterlot.

When I went there I felt like I was trapped with no way out. I just wanted to end my life. I realized, what I had to do was take things as they came, day by day.

While I was there I met several new ponies who struggle with the same things as I do. I was in a much better mood when I came out. Unfortunately that didn't last too long three months later I came back.

Now, I'm not looking forward to what this year will bring. With all the pain and isolation in Equestria, there seems to be no reason to live anymore. Don't expect me to stick around for the next generation, I as Anonymous will live no more in Equestria. So in the next generation if you see me try to take my own life, please don't stop me. You'll only give me another reason to do it.