Blue

Captain Michael J. Caboose is a soldier who is affiliated with the Blue Team, part of the Reds and Blues. He lost nine of his friends in a Death Battle between his team and the Red Team. "I have lost many friends... even my best friend... and I need to revive them... but how?", the Captain asked himself. Despite his tremendous strength, he's very dumb... just like the only other current member of the Blue Team, Kaikaina Grif, who is the younger sister of Dexter Grif from the Red Team. "I know!" He got to work on one of the teleporters. It took a while, but he somehow managed to create a portal. The only problem was: how could he get his friends through? Keep in mind that one of his friends is an actual M808V Main Battle Tank. "I know I have super strength, but I can't every one all at once!" He looked back to the portal. "Ah, fuck it." He threw Private Leonard L. Church, Captain Lavernius Tucker, Texas, and Sheila through the portal. He walked through before the portal closed. Nearby, an invisible force was lurking. A low growl was heard.

In Twilight's castle, Caboose and his friends crashed into a pile of books. The Princess herself was there, and she was shocked by what she saw. Caboose stood up. "Oh! Hello! My name is Captain Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies!", the upbeat soldier said to the Princess.

"Uh... hi. I'm Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship", Twilight replied. Suddenly, the portal reopened. The invisible force walked through and the portal closed.

"Fuck", Caboose said. "Run!" Using his super-strength, he delivered some heavy punches to the Meta, dealing some damage. Twilight used her magic to teleport herself and Caboose's dead allies out of the castle while Caboose fought the Meta. He choked his white-clad enemy as he repeatedly punched the Meta in the face. He delivered one final punch, knocking the Meta unconscious. Caboose ran off.

Outside the castle...

"Jesus Christ! Where am I?!", Church/Epsilon asked the Princess. Caboose walked out of the castle. "Oh! Caboose!"

"Hello!", Caboose said. "Twilight, this is Private Leonard L. Church. How are you not dead?"

"Remember? I'm the Epsilon A.I., so I can't die", Church replied. "Did we... win the fight?"

"Yes. I was the last one standing. Turned out the teleporter actually worked", Caboose responded. Twilight's friends approached the trio. Twilight introduced her friends to the two soldiers.

"Caboose, who was that?", Twilight asked.

"The Meta. A monster of unimaginable power. He was once a Freelancer named Maine", Caboose answered.

"What in tarnation is a Freelancer?", Applejack asked.

"And why is there one here?", Rainbow Dash asked.

"Why are you still human?", Fluttershy asked.

"Well, we can't answer the third question", Church answered.

"How many Freelancers are there?", Spike asked.

"Numerous", Church answered.

"Why is there a tank?", Rarity asked.

"Where did you come from?", Pinkie Pie asked. It took a lot of explaining, but the Mane Six and Spike got their answers.

"So... you want me to rebuild Sheila and revive Tucker and Tex?", Twilight asked.

"Yes", Caboose answered.

"That's gonna be impossible!", Twilight said. Suddenly, the Meta reappeared. However, an evil laugh was heard.

"Uh... the Meta can't speak. He growls because his vocal chords are broken", Church said. "Wait... I know that voice. Sigma!"

"Of course you do... Epsilon", Sigma said. "That Death Battle the Meta had against Carolina vanquished every other A.I., but I survived! You know, I have to thank Carolina for killing the Meta... because now, I am in control of this body!" Twilight, understanding the threat that Sigma possessed, blasted the A.I. with her magic, to no effect. "Ah. The protector." Sigma grabbed Twilight by the throat. "A pony. How cute." Caboose grabbed Tucker's sword, the Great Key, and stabbed Sigma with it. Sigma dropped Twilight and glared at the blue-clad soldier. Suddenly, a looming shadow enveloped the heroes and Sigma... except for Church.

"Hello", a computer voice said.

"Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!", Church shouted from the cockpit as Sheila fired a missile at Sigma. The A.I. ran off as Tucker's sword fell out of his body.

"Sheila!", Caboose said joyously as he picked up his rival's sword.

"Guys! We have to go back to Blood Gulch! We'll formulate a plan there!", Church said as Caboose joined his best friend in the cockpit. "Sigma is powerless here, so if we go back to Blood Gulch and close the portal, we can trap him here and we'll be safe for now." The Mane Six and Spike agreed.

Back at Blood Gulch...

Five more dead bodies were strewn about. "Focus on the Red Team later", Church said. "We need to revive Tucker and Tex." Tex then stood up. "Oh, right! I forgot! Tex is the Beta A.I.!"

"Ugh... what happened?", Tex asked. After some quick introductions, Tex's teammates got her up to date on current events.

Later...

"She died in her real life, and that's all the Director ever remembered of her. So now, no matter how tough she is, no matter how hard she fights, she's always going to fail, because that's what she's based on. No matter what she's doing, or what she's trying to accomplish, just when her goal is within her reach, it gets yanked away. Every. Single. Time. Can you imagine what that's like?", Church asked Twilight.

"Applejack might", Twilight answered as she restored Tucker's life force.

"Also, don't pick a fight with her. She may always lose a fight, but she tends to... aim for the groin while fighting", Church said. "Which would make sense since that's how Allison always fought. It's still painful, though! Ask Grif!"

"Me?", Kaikaina Grif asked.

"No, your brother", Church answered. After a while, Tucker started coughing. "Kai, I need you to figure out how much power Sigma gained during the Meta's fight against Carolina."

"Yes, sir", Kai replied as she went into the Blue Base.

"How smart is she?", Twilight asked.

"Hell if I know", Church answered.