Author's Note

Some notes - dead cells is a game full of references and fourth wall breaking. and this story is in that style.

All so the main character of the story will have light blue color over his words since; well he doesn't have a head and its the color of the cells in the game.

Chapter 1 - Well this is new

The Island - Throne Room:

The King's throne was sculpted right out of the rock where it sits. Many months of work went into its exquisite details.

The Beheaded after escaping the Prisoner's Quarters, exploring all of the Island, defeating all of it's bosses, killing the king, get shoved back in time by the The Time Keeper for unknown reason, do everything again, not killing the king, this time possess his body, remember you were the king all along, find the The Collector in the Observatory, beat the hell out of The Collector and sitting on the throne doing nothing. (ya its the same as the long description. Sue me).

The king, Sitting on the throne of his desolate kingdom and drinking wine he took from the Derelict Distillery. He was thinking about all the pain he gone through, all the death caused by the Malaise and by him as a result from it. Did he felt remorse for the horrid things he done before becoming the one known as the The Beheaded, The Prisoner, Fallen One or Bobby (for some reason).

What was truly the thoughts of someone that condemned his entire kingdom to death and ruin.

"I AM SO BORED!!!."

Ok, not exactly the thoughts of someone that just condemned an entire kingdom to death and ruin. But we can work with that. Anyway the king now "so bored" had nothing to do except from one thing... Talking to himself (like a crazy person).

The King's POV:

"This is boring." the king said while he was drinking wine on his throne and pondering about the wild time he had as a headless corpse. "I miss wandering the sewers as a headless body. Finding blueprints and harvesting cells for the Collector... Well not that screw the Collector, the only good thing that came from him was the panacea and he made one flask of it."

"Oh well i guess i could bother The Time Keeper. Maybe if i annoy her enough she will send me back in time again."

In the moment the king got off his Throne. Suddenly a portal opened in front of the king and from it came out a tall floating shadowy figure that was covered by dark robes and the only part of his face that was visible was a strange looking eye in the middle of his face.

The shadowy figure and the king looked at each other for a few seconds until the king broke the silence.

"Hi."

(so much for braking the silence).

The shadowy figure lean over and looked very close at the king, then he snap one of his crooked hands and from nowhere a scroll appear and the shadowy figure started to look at it, then at the king, then at the scroll and again at the king for like a minute. Only then he started to talk.

"Are you the king?" the shadowy figure asked him.

The king just looked at the shadowy figure and said to him in the most casual way possible, "yes, yes i am." the king then reached for his backpack and pull out a very long baguette. "Baguette?" the king asked him as he was about to have a bite off it.

The shadowy figure looked at the baguette and said to the king, "oh, thank you." and he grabbed the baguette and started to eat it.

While eating the baguette, the shadowy figure said to the king, "i thought you where... You know dead."

"I was but after committing self regicide on myself, i was sent back in time before that and took back my body."

"Oh... How very plot convenient for you." the shadowy figure said in a condescending tone.

After ten minutes of doing nothing, the king asked the shadowy figure, "so... Who are you? And what the fuck do you want from me?"

"First thing first go fuck yourself you glorified pompous meatbag. Second since you asked so nicely like some Twat, my name is Shoft one of the grand arbiters and judicators of Vodiak warden of the void."

"Never heard of him and did not ask."

"Again like some Twat, anyway lord Vodiak ordered me to find you and to hire you to be an executioner on behalf my master and find a rogue demi-god that somehow mange to escape from the void."

"If you agree to this contract..."

"Done."

Shoft was looking at the king with a surprised look. (if you could see his face), "you don't want to hear about what you signing in the contract?"

"Look ever since i got my body back i am bored out of my mind with noting to do, if this contract meaning me going out for some new shit to do. Then i can only say where do i sign."

"Ok we have a deal but i still need to inform you about some parts of the contract and your reward."

"Sure go on."

"Very well this is a bounty contract for mirror king Phantasem. Reward for killing the target in one year supply of panacea, but bringing him alive for me to handle will reward you with the ability to make panacea flasks any time you want."

"Hold on!" the king said with shock. "You can just bring panacea like its nothing how!?"

"I serve one of the gods of the void, and i learn in my job not to wander how my master do what he does."

"Anyway failure is not an option so for this task you will be in one of your headless bodies; don't worry the body you will get will not be infected by the Malaise. All so you will have access to all of your weapons, skills, runes and Mutations. Just reach for your backpack and pick something to use. And one more thing, take this card; if some lower class deities will try to stop you this card will protect you from some of their power."

"Any questions before i open the portal." Shoft asked the king.

"Just one, where exactly are you sending?" the king asked.

"Well the last world we know Phantasem run to was some backwater world named equestria."

The king scratched his head in confusion and said, "equestria, is that a pun for something."

Shoft just give him a chuckle and said to him, "i'll give you the pleasure to find out yourself. Anyway stupid mortal getting shoved in to a portal say what."

"What?"

Then Shoft open a portal next to the king and he shoved him inside the portal. And as the portal was closing the king give him a middle finger and shouting "FUCK YOU!!" very aggressively.

After the portal closed Shoft was about to leave when he just remembered something important, "hold up did i send him to the correct time?" he began to check his portal logs and then after giving a long sigh he said to himself, "oh... Fuck."

equestria - canterlot castle: 700 years before the return of nightmare moon:

The kingdom of equestria, home to the ponies and many other creatures that decided to live there; side by side under the wise rule of princess celestia for over 500 years and in that time celestia had managed to bring peace, prosperity and harmony to all of her subjects. (and yet she is very useless when twilight began her story).

Anyway in this benevolent kingdom at it's heart is the city of canterlot the capital of equestria, and at the top of the city the great canterlot castle was built. And from there princess celestia is raising and lowering the sun and moon.

And in this quiet and peaceful night; suddenly a portal was opened inside one of the castle hallways and from this portal came out a headless body with some clothes, a few pieces of armor and instead of a head was a flame with a single eye in the center. No longer the king, he was once more the being known as The Beheaded.

"(God damn it, that is the last time i am getting into a portal, BY A MASSIVE ASS!)." The Beheaded said with anger to himself since he had no head to express words.

Our hero (if you can call him that) started to look around and to see that he is in a castle.

"(Well, time to explore)."

And just like that he began to explore the castle and after half an hour he mange to get back to where he started. (yes he was lost).

"(This castle is ridiculously huge!, and why every painting have horses and not people!)." The Beheaded said to himself and immediately after that he started to kick one of the doors. And after some kicks the door opened with force and on the other side was a large garden with many trees and flowers.

"(Nice place, but it is nothing compare to the Dilapidated Arboretum)."

The Beheaded then began to explore the garden, when suddenly he began to hear the sound of someone crying not far from him. He went to the source of the noise and from his hiding spot behind a tree. (yes he was hiding behind a tree while he had a burning head). And when he expected to find a human, instead he found a large white winged unicorn sitting on a marble bench, crying and looking at the moon.

"(It's official, i've gone insane)." The Beheaded said to himself, only to accidentally step on a stick.

Suddenly the winged unicorn turn her head and then the most bizarre thing happened, she began to talk. "Is somepony there?"

The Beheaded then stood still thinking maybe she didn't saw him, "(I think she didn't saw me)."

"I can see you, you know."

"(Crap!)."

"Who ever you are come out, i promise you no harm will come to you." the winged unicorn said with a sincere voice.

"(What to do, what to do... Oh i know)."

A few seconds later from behind the tree he started to come out and he was looking at the winged unicorn and then he began to wave his hand in a hello gesture.

celestia's POV:

For the first time in 300 to 400 years celestia did not know what to do. In front of her was some sort of... Well she had no idea what that thing was. Except for what is in front of her face. A a headless body with some clothes, a few pieces of armor and instead of a head was a flame with a single eye in the center. And he was waving at her like they were close.

"Excuse me, but if you don't mind..." celestia began to say, only to be interrupt by this strange visitor.

The visitor began to reach for his backpack and pulling from there a very long baguette.

Celestia, if not before she is now very confused about this weird situation. "Is this for me?" she asked him.

The strange visitor shook his head up and down and giving her a thumbs up to confirm her question.

Celestia used her magic to bring the baguette to her and she started eating it.

"Thank you for this kind gesture but can you tell me who are you? Or what are you?" celestia asked him.

"(Oh great, i forgot i can't speak. Well this is gonna be a long night)."

"(I miss my Island)."