Dead Cells - The Caballus Conundrum

equestria - canterlot castle: 700 years before the return of nightmare moon:

The two stood there in the canterlot garden, celestia waiting for the strange visitor to say something and the Beheaded trying to find a way to explain why he can't really talk. (talking about a problem in keeping the flow of the story).

Our hero... (ok, you get that all ready that our protagonist is not a good person). Anyway our "hero" was rubbing his chin, is burning nonexistent chin and was saying to himself, "(Well this is a problem.)"

"(Come to think of it, how am i supposed to communicate with a talking horse?)" the Beheaded started to think hard and hard trying to find a way talking to the mare.

Celestia saw the strange visitor scratching his head in frustration, (his nonexistent burning smoke head), then he started to kick the ground none stop, like a colt in tantrum. And a few seconds after celestia figure out why he was acting like this.

"Excuse me." celestia said to him to get is attention. The visitor then stop his tantrum and looked at celestia with his full attention, well she was thinking she got his attention since the whole burning head.

"Are you unable to speak?" celestia asked him only to get a thumbs up from the visitor.

"Well i can't promise it will help but i can use telepathy so we can hear each other, if you want."

The Beheaded was thinking a bit and then give her another thumbs up.

"Ok then, just stay there and don't move. I will perform the spell." celestia said to him and she began to charge her horn. Then a massive flash of light surround both celestia and the Beheaded.

When the flash of light vanished, celestia opened her eyes and said to him, "did it work?" but the only thing celestia heard was a none stop bombardment of vulgar words.

"(Damn it!, i can't see. How i can't see?!, i have no eyes!. What the hell that stupid horse did to me!!?)"

His voice was not what celestia expected to hear from him. Rather then hearing a one singular regular voice like any normal creature, his voice sounded like two voices overlapping each other; one voice was a mixture of an high and low tones with the low tone more dominating. And the second voice was not even can be consider a voice but rather an echo following every word coming from him. Perhaps it was do to the fact he had no head. Or perhaps it was something else entirely.

But in celestia's mind one thing was certain, she was not that happy hearing him calling her stupid... Or a horse.

"You know, there is no need to talk like that, you can hurt someponies feelings. And for your information i am a pony not a horse, an alicorn to be specific."

"(Lady you made me blind!. And what on you on about, a pony is a horse.)" then the Beheaded stopped talking and looked at her location with what looked like a surprised face. Then he began to say to celestia, "(You can hear me.)"

"Yes i can hear you, but only i can everypony else will not be able to hear you talking or our telepathic conversions."

The Beheaded looked at celestia with an, what appeared as an Irritated face and said to her, "(Everybody.)"

"I beg your pardon." celestia said with confusion.

"(The term is everybody not everypony.)"

Celestia was now looking at him with an Irritated face and said to him, "you finally can talk to somepony and they can hear you, and the only thing you have to say is that our pronunciation is wrong."

"(Somebody.)" he correct celestia... Again.

Celestia just face hoofed her face and in frustration. Then she said to him, "anyway can you just tell me who are you?"

At this point the Beheaded was in another very small problem, what name should he use. Back in the Island he was known as: The Beheaded, The Prisoner, Fallen One, The Anomaly and The King. But after hard good thinking he made his decision. The name that will mark the start of his quest in this new world.

"(You can call me Bobby.)"

(of all the names he had, he had to choose that one... Wonderful.)

Celestia was looking at him with one of the most anticlimactic expression she ever had and said to him, "bobby, just bobby nothing else."

"(Yep, just your friendly neighborhood Bobby.)"

"Ok... Anyway, my name is princess celestia and i welcome you to canterlot castle the capital of equestria." celestia said to bobby with her normal sincere voice.

"And what is the name of the place you call home?"

"(Well this is gonna be awkward but sure why not, my home is a kingdom on an Island.)"

"And." celestia said waiting for a follow up in his sentence.

"(And what.)"

"What do you mean what. You didn't said a name, just that it is a kingdom on an island."

"(So.)" bobby said casually.

"So. So its polite to name the place you come from."

"(And why should i tell you that.)"

"Because we are friends."

There was a moment of silence between celestia and bobby. Friendship was a concept that was not new to him ever since the time he was the king and later on the Beheaded and then the king again. And after hearing this word again in his life he could do one thing. He started laughing none stop at celestia.

"Why, why are you laughing at me!?" celestia said to him.

"(You kidding me right, how did you came to the conclusion that we are friends. We are not even in the same level of trust.)" bobby said to her in a very blunt way.

"Well i was thinking since the gesture with the bread and using my telepathy spell you will think of me as a friend."

"(I gonna stop you now. First its not just bread its a baguette, and second you know nothing about me. What if i was an assassin.)"

"Are you?"

"(Well no but that is not the point hare.)"

"Look i get it, this whole situation is new to you, well its all so new to me but i think if you let me help you; then we can become good friends."

"(Listen, its not that easy. The last friends i had, well we were no longer friends.)"

"And it caused a problem for you in making new friends."

"(What? No, we stopped being friends when they tried to kill me.)"

"THEY DID WHAT!" celestia yelled at him with her royal canterlot voice.

"(LADY!, NEXT TIME USE YOUR INNER VOICE!!)" bobby yelled back at her while covering his ears. (his nonexistent ears.)

"Sorry sorry, its just i don't respond kindly to violence."

"(Well, that will make things more problematic for us to get know each other.)"

"Why is that?" celestia asked him.

"(Well, my philosophy in life is violence all ways solves everything, rather then peace and harmony. I hope it won't be a problem.)"

"Well as long as you don't kill anypony then we don't have a problem."

"(Sure, seems like a reasonable request.)"

Both of them then started shaking hand and hoof in an agreement. And then Bobby asked her, "(So why were you crying?)"

Celestia was a little reluctant to answer bobby's question about her past, "i rather not discuss this matter. At least not at this moment, if you don't mind."

"(Fair enough.)" bobby said to her while shrugging his shoulders.

They stood again in silence for a few seconds, but before any of them could talk. A few of the canterlot castle guardsponies arrived with haste to the garden; with spears, swords, crossbows and some unicorn mages.

Then from the group of guards came forth a unicorn in full golden armor and a scar in his left eye. And with an angry look on his face he said, "step away from the princess, monster!" the guard captain said to The Beheaded.

"(From where exactly all of them came from?)"

canterlot castle - 30 minutes ago:

Meanwhile while everything was happening in the garden, two guardsponies were patrolling around the halls of the castle while all so talking about important guard business.

"So what do you think about that new mare recruit?"

(ok never mind. Even 700 years back in the past, the royal guard were useless. Anyway lets get back to our story.)

"So what do you think about that new mare recruit?" the younger guardspony said to the veteran guardspony.

"What's to think about her, she is fast and strong. The only problem she will face in her career will be prejudice; do to the fact she is a bat pony." the veteran guardspony said back to him.

"That's deep, but i was more thinking about how cute she is." the younger guardspony said with a blushed face.

The veteran guardspony stopped walking and the younger guardspony all so stopped after him. The veteran guardspony looked at his partner guard with an angry and disappointed face, and then he used his front hoof to hit the back of the younger guardspony's head.

"Ouch that really hurt, what was that for?"

"Don't get any stupid ideas to your head, we are the royal canterlot guard."

"I know that."

"Then act like one!, every time you see a new mare you act like an idiot."

While the veteran guardspony was scolding his young partner for the hundredth time. The younger guardspony happened to find something suspicious.

"Come here for a sec."

"Don't change the subject."

"No look." the younger guardspony said to his superior while pointing his hoof on the broken door.

The two went to the broken door and started investigating the scene. "The door is leading out to the garden." the veteran guardspony said to his young partner.

"Why anypony would smash the door?" the younger guardspony asked his superior.

Suddenly the two guardsponies heard a strong voice that was recognized by everypony in equestria.

"THEY DID WHAT!"

"That sounded like princess celestia's royal canterlot voice." said the younger guardspony.

"The princess all most never using the royal canterlot voice, i don't like this." said the veteran guardspony.

"What should we do?"

"For now lets call for backup, i am not taking any chances."

"Yes sir."

And just like that the two guardsponies went to bring backup to aid their princess. (and one point after another and we came to where we originally stopped our story.)

"Step away from the princess, monster!" the guard captain said to The Beheaded.

The garden was now full of guardsponies ready to protect their princess. (i am all ready feel bad for them.)

"Captain longsword stand down, his not going to hurt anypony." celestia said to her guard captain.

"(Really, captain longsword, what kind of a stupid name is that.)"

"(I don't think it is a good time to think about that, don't you think.)" celestia said to bobby using telepathy.

"No can do princess, with all the problem we have from the cult of anarchy we can't take any chances." captain longsword said to celestia.

"(Cult of Anarchy?, maybe its a connection to that mirror king i need to find.)"

"So i will tell you again monster, step away from the princess or we will use force!"

Everyone could see and feel that the tension was high and the very little thing can make things worse. And on that note the young guardspony from before accidentally (like an idiot) shoot The Beheaded with a crossbow. (again, they are useless.)

The bolt hit The Beheaded in the shoulder and nothing. No sign of pain whatsoever. The Beheaded then looked at the guardsponies with a very very angry burning face while he all so was taking out the bolt from his shoulder; and a few drops of blood came with it.

Bobby then toss the bolt to the ground and turn his head to celestia, "(I know i promised not to kill anyone and i will but, i am going to teach your guards to be... More polite.)"

He then reached for his backpack and from it he grabbed a very large Broadsword.

"(My trusty Broadsword, Slow and heavy, but deliciously vicious.)" The Beheaded said to himself.

"(Now then, who's first.)"