A Demon's Second Chance

I think I passed out.

It was hard to say. I recall the ringing stopped, like someone had picked up the phone, and then darkness encroached my vision. A lightheadedness filled my brain, and then I was in the guest room. Now I was staring up at that same canopy, in the same room, in the same position.

Almost as if I’d never left.

For just a second, I thought I’d reset. But there was no burning, no cold, no weight on my heart.

I didn’t die. At least, not this time.

I raised myself like a zombie from the grave, tossing my legs limply over the edge as I just sat there and processed the last few hours. I could have sat there until someone came to check up on me, badgering myself about all the implications of what Shadow Lock knew and what they meant.

Or, I could compress what I need to do into a list and do them in an organized fashion, like Twilight would.

I opened the journal, flipping past the pages of wing dings.

And the tally marks.

And the list of questions.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

“Chara?”

Brash’s voice cut through the door, causing me to tighten my grip from shock and press the pencil so tightly against the paper that the tip snapped in half. At least I was mostly done with it.

“Yeah?”

“Just…checking if you’re awake. Heard some scribbling. Mind if I come in?”

“Not at all.”

Brash entered, surprisingly not followed by Luster, and trotted over to the bed. She saw a glimpse of what I was writing, leaning over my shoulder with a perked up body.

“What’s that? A dream journal?”

I flinched. We’ve had this conversation before.

“Yes.”

“Do—”

“It helps with my nightmares.”

Her mouth closed just as quickly as it opened.

I shut the journal, placing it back in my backpack and slinging it over my shoulders. I stared at the door for a few seconds, expecting someone else to come through.

“Where’s Luster?”

“Oh, she had to deliver that letter Shadow gave you to the D.I.C..”

“The..” I swallowed, a blush coming to my face that made my cheeks redder than normal. “Dick?”

“Yeah, the Discord information center. It’s where everything related to Discord and the cult goes information wise. Messages we receive, intercept, and decode.”

“Oh.” The pressure in my chest faded along with the heat as I exhaled. “Are all the messages coded?”

“Probably. No one but people sought out specifically for cypher-breaking have access to whatever they find out in there in case they learn something less than pleasant. Couldn’t tell ya if they’ve managed to decode it at all, or they have and just haven’t revealed anything to us that we don’t need to know.”

They’re all in wingdings.

They have to be. Which meant there was no chance they’d have decoded it; it wasn’t even a language, it’s a font!

The idea of translating everything for Celestia came to mind, maybe that would reveal something about them. Or, just as likely, it would just oust myself. If they knew I could read wingdings, the code the cult is using, then they’d question why.

Of course, if I don’t tell them, and they find out anyway that I can read it, that would be infinitely worse.

I was feeling a headache come on, reaching from the depths of my mind and wrapping its grip around my brain like a strangling hand.

One thing at a time, Chara. One step at a time.

“Where’s,” I placed a hand on my temple, rubbing it in a circular motion. “Shining Armor?”

“The captain? Should be in the war room; that's where he said he’d be for the rest of the day after he was done talking to The Princess.” I began to walk towards the door, and Brash hovered alongside me. “What do you need to talk to him for?”

“Cadance wanted me to talk to him.”

“Princess Amore did? Hm, she rarely requests anything.” Brash flexed her wings, moving in front of me by just a few feet. “Come on, I’ll take you to ol’ cappy. Shouldn’t be far.”

I glanced to my left, frowning as I tried to shake off the feeling.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Luster?”

“No, Princess Celestia came by while we took you to your room and said we shouldn’t leave your coltfriend without an escort. Not because they’re in any danger, but because they might get lost. So, Luster’s going to be staying with him when he’s by himself.”

It somehow just hit me that Brash would know who Dark Moon is upon seeing him, and that if she did, she might be obligated to report that he’s no longer missing and is back in Canterlot to his family.

For once, there was just the slightest glitter of luck in my life.

“Oh, uhm, alright then.”

We took a few turns in silence, before Brash slowed down and just floated beside me.

“‘I know them.’”

My foot scraped against the ground, losing my balance as I nearly fell on my butt. My arms spread to the side in an attempt to establish equilibrium.

“W—what?”

“‘I know them.’ That’s what you said before you blacked out.”

I did say that, didn’t I?

I recall the words coming out of my mouth, and the sound of what I said, but that was the last thing that happened.

Why did I say that?

“I,” I don’t know. I didn’t have an answer. I couldn’t say what I meant then, I couldn’t even say what I was thinking “don’t remember.”

“Hm.”

That neutral grunt of Brash’s was more alarming than anything else would have been. Accepting or suspicious I could have dealt with, but now I had no idea what she was thinking.

Somehow, I think I would have preferred Luster.

“We’re here.”

Brash opened the war room, which was almost as empty as the first time I saw it. The lone exception being Shining Armor, out of his armor and sitting at the front chair of the table. Piles of small, brown colored pieces of paper strewn around his chair. He hadn’t even noticed we came in, a few strands of his mane standing up as he muttered something to himself.

“Captain?”

“Yes? Oh!”

In one sweeping motion, whatever papers that had held on to the surface of the table were brushed to the side. Whether that was out of frustration, or because he didn’t want us to see what he was looking at, I couldn’t say.

“Chara wanted to speak with you. I can, uh, wait outside if you like?”

His gaze turned to me, narrowing with an intensity so potent I could Almost see the cogs in his head clicking into overdrive.

“Chara,” There was a heaviness to his voice, carrying his words with an implication I couldn’t understand. “Do you want Brash to leave?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brash stifle some noise, glancing at me with…expectation? Fear? I couldn’t recognize it, but I knew it was putting me on the spot in a way I hated.

“Uhm,” every day, I wish just a little more I’d wake up with the miraculous ability to turn invisible. “I think so? It’s about what happened in Ponyville. I don’t know how much she’s allowed to know.”

“I see.” he closed his eyes, leaning back in the chair and running his hands up the sides of his mane. “I’m in charge of who’s allowed to know about stuff involving that. So,” Shining made a droning noise, nostrils flaring with cold air. “You know what? Since you and Luster are going to be Chara’s escort for the foreseeable future, you might as well be aware of the dangers you might be facing. Just, don’t ask any questions; I don’t want this taking any longer than it has to. I have to,” he leaned forward, grabbing some of the papers and placing them in the center of the table. “Find a location.”

I wanted to ask what he meant by that, if only my brain wasn’t on the cusp of information overload.

Brash tilted her head, about to ask exactly what I wanted to, and coming to the same conclusion that she was better off not parsing that particular inquiry.

Shining sat in silence as he combed through each piece of paper, looking for something unknown to anyone but him.

“Cadance,” I wasn’t sure the best way to say this, or if I should even say it. “Said you feel like you have to pay me back for helping you with Chrysalis.”

He stopped in the middle of a piece of paper, his ears flickering backwards. I heard Brash make some movement, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn my head enough to see what.

In that moment, I swore, I saw Shining’s face redden.

“Caddy told you that?”

His voice squeaked, losing that weight it carried just a sentence ago.

I nodded.

He cleared his throat, straightening his posture and standing out of the chair. Shining walked around the side, turning his back to us and learning forward until his arms were on the table.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” All the air in the room turned cold, though it admittedly wasn’t that warm to begin with. A rose aura grabbed onto all the paper, lifting it into lines that folded in on themselves into a neatly piled stack. “I spent every night after the wedding thinking about what I’d do to her given the chance. Then, I finally was, and I almost messed it up. If you hadn’t shown up, I don’t…I don’t know if I could have carried through.”

There was something to his voice I recognized, subdued and hardly more than a mutter. It was filled with a weariness that showed in his body, shoulders pulled in as he slightly swayed side to side.

“I’ve been playing it in my head over and over, and I can’t figure out how I would have taken her down without killing her. As much as I hate to admit it, you showing up might have been for the best. I know I said it already, but thanks, really. So,” he reached into his pocket, pulling out a white piece of paper and scribbling something on it with a hovering pencil.

Brash and I just stood there awkwardly, unable, or perhaps just unwilling, to break the noiselessness set down by him. The only thing that would have made it more awkward is if Brash and I made eye contact.

“Here,” there was a tearing noise, and then folding it as it levitated in front of me. “We’re even now, alright?”

I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t feel like he owed me in the first place.

I didn’t air that inconvenience, pocketing the paper and trying to bury my urge to read it.

“Now, take Brash and go give that to Princess Luna; she should be in her room. Just tell the guards to let you in, and when they ask why, say because I say so and you shouldn’t have any more problems.”

“Alright.”

“Good.” He tapped his hoof against the ground, laying out the pieces of paper bit by bit on the table. “I’d like to be left alone now; I need to concentrate. Bulwark, take her to Luna’s room and then you have the rest of the day off. I trust Chara to be by herself for a few hours.”

“Yes, sir.”

He trusted me? That was…why? He didn’t have any reason to, he had plenty of reasons not to. I couldn’t explain what I was feeling, whether it was relief or some other foreign emotion. I turned to follow Brash, halfway out the door before I heard Shining mutter something.

“Chara,” I stayed facing the outside of the doorway, still grappling with what just transpired. “I promise no one will ever wear that thing again.”

I didn’t immediately understand what he was referring to, not until a foul smell rose up from the grave and filled my every sense.

Very faintly, the taste of buttercups sat on the edge of my tongue.

“Thank you.”

___________________________________

Brash let me enter Luna’s chambers alone, leaving without saying much of anything.

Her bedroom was sparse of much of anything but the basics: a bed smaller than mine, a single wardrobe, and not so much as a lamp in sight. It was so dark, I had to squint just to make sure I wasn’t bumping into anything. I eventually walked up to a window, pulling away the curtains for just the sliver of moonlight it provided.

“Luna? Shining told me you’d be here?”

I didn’t hear anything, or see anything, or hardly feel anything. It was nostalgic, in its own way.

“Oh, perfect timing!”

“AH!”

Out of the darkness came the princess of night, horn unlit and her blue coat working like camouflage in the shadows. She must have gotten some devious sense of joy out of my reaction, bringing a hand to her mouth and briefly chuckling.

“You’re adorable, truly.” Luna walked past me, sitting on her bed and lighting up her horn. The magic dispersed into a small, circle-like orb. It hovered up to the ceiling, spreading its light and covering the entire room with a soothing glow. “Come, sit with me.”

With the new light in the room, I had no chance of hiding how bright red my cheeks turned. That was the second time I’d been complimented on my appearance since coming here, and it wasn’t any easier than the first time.

“S—shouldn’t you be going to bed soon?” I reluctantly followed her to her bed, taking long, stretched out steps.

“Au contraire, my night has just begun.”

Her bed had very little on it, only a single blanket and pillow. Which, oddly enough, was even less than what was on my bed. As I sank in, I was once again reminded how much larger Luna was than me. My head barely reaching her chest, and she was slouching.

She didn’t push me to talk, making as little sound as I did while I just sat there and breathed.

“Thank you.”

She chuckled again.

“You’ve much to thank me for, what is it in this instance?”

“Telling Celestia you had faith in me. That meant a lot.”

“I have done many,” I could see Luna’s chest raise on the edge of my vision. “Many things to my sister. But none of them are lying. If you were not judged with nothing but the truth in mind, it would have been a worse trial than even our lowest criminals receive.”

“I didn’t realize I was on trial.”

“Every conversation with Tia is a trial when she's on that throne.” She tilted her head back, mane hanging down and almost touching the bed itself. “I digress. You mentioned Shining? Did he need something? Though, if he did, I do not see why he wouldn’t come for it himself.”

“I don’t know, he told me to give you,” I got the piece of paper, to which she grabbed in her magic and floated above her. “This.”

She quickly skimmed through it, her face growing more rigid with each word. With a flick, she was on her hooves, now holding the paper directly in her hands.

“When did he write this?”

“Ten minutes ago. Why?”

“Stay here.”

She was gone, vanished and leaving the piece of paper to float to the ground. I gave in to temptation, picking it up and reading it over.

Some part of me was just relieved it wasn’t in wingdings.

‘Give her the azoth sword.’

That’s all it said.

Before I had time to do anything, Luna was back. She was standing so close to me I could feel her fur tickling the end of my nose until I nearly sneezed.

“Kneel.”

I jumped back, rubbing the end of my nose as I noticed something hovering just above my head. It resembled a knife, but the blade part wasn’t made out of any material I recognized. It was bright pink, and reflected moonlight like glass. It wasn’t a dagger so much as dagger shaped, pointed near the end but dully so.

“W—what?”

“I said kneel.”

My body obeyed before my mind did, forcing my knee to the ground with a throbbing pain. I craned my neck, focusing my eyes on the spot right in front of Luna’s hooves.

“Give me your right hand.”

I did so without hesitation, every muscle in my body contracting with fear to think what might happen if I didn’t. She took off the glove, flipping my hand with my palm and placing the dagger in it. I nearly dropped it, its weight the first thing I noticed.

“Repeat after me, word for word.” Luna paused, a sternness in her tone I hadn’t heard since I first met her. “I am the bone of my sword.”

I gulped.

“I am the bone of my sword.”

“Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.”

“Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.”

“I have created over a thousand blades.”

The words hung in my throat, a chill tied to them like a million icecubes.

“I have created over a thousand blades.”

“Unknown to death, nor known to life.”

“Unknown to,” I rubbed my neck with my free hand, trying to ignore the pricking just under my skin. “Death, nor known to life.”

“Good. You may stand.”

I stayed on the ground for a moment, waiting for something, anything, to happen. The knife to get lighter, the room to get warmer, for there to be just a nudge less tension.

Of course, it didn’t.

“You are now the first wielder of the azoth blade since my return, congratulations. If Shining Armor trusted this to you, I can only assume he has as much faith as I do.”

I stood up, placing the knife in my left hand as Luna handed me my glove. With a bit of effort, I managed to slip it back on, now only slightly suffocating my fingers.

“Why did I have to say all that?”

“I am uncertain. It is a ritual that has been carried through since the very first proprietor. It is unknown whether not performing it would bestow some curse upon who touches it, or if it is a tradition done just for the sake of it. I would rather not find out with you.”

“Oh.” I stared at the center of the dagger, seeing just a flash of my reflection before I glanced away. “But I can already conjure knives.”

“You can manifest a dagger capable of killing, yes. The Azoth blade has no such ability.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Luna walked back to her bed, sitting down in the same spot as before. “Are you familiar with the term ‘death by a thousand cuts’?”

There was a tinge in my hip, I bit my tongue to ignore it.

“Vaguely.”

“That blade stops at nine hundred and ninety nine. It has been enchanted to be permanently dull, capable of slashing but only as deep as a puddle; it is why it’s been unsheathed by so few. Its purpose is so niche, few get the opportunity.”

Out of some morbid sense of curiosity, I traced my finger along the edges of the blade. It didn’t hurt, not so much as a prick; the skin of my finger didn’t even redden. Even so, I felt noticeably weaker.

“Besides, from what Magic and Cadance have told me, you have issues with magic dispersion and control. Every time you’ve created a knife, your body has suffered the consequences for such. And, well, I will not be there to help you every time. This is an alternative.”

I thought about that for a moment, recalling, with dread, every instance I’d done so. As much as I’d like to, I couldn’t refute it.

“So, why give it to me?”

“Shouldn’t that be obvious?” she patted the spot beside her once more. “Because you detest killing.”

I stared at the distorted reflection in the blade, messy like a dirty pond. I couldn’t see my eyes, as the color of the blade was too close for it to be distinct. I made out the outline of my face, but no details.

“So, this knife can’t kill anyone?”

I placed the knife in my pocket, fitting actually rather snuggly.

“No, but it is capable of absorbing the mana from anyone who it slices. It also glows just a little brighter when it absorbs any, up to a limit. Of course, when it reaches said limit, that mana must go somewhere. So, it will eventually disperse into whoever is holding it at that time.” She ran a finger up her neck, tracing the bottom of her chin. “Whenever it does, I would suggest getting rid of that excess mana by whatever means possible. Or you will burn with power.”

I once again sat beside Luna, sinking into the bed as I placed my backpack on the ground.

“Why would someone make a knife that doesn’t kill?”

“Perhaps they were a pacifist like you? Impossible to say. We have it regardless, and now, you are its bearer.”

“Am I…” I crossed my legs, putting my hands on my lap and awkwardly tapping my fingers against my thighs. “Really the best person for this?”

“I believe so. If I didn’t trust Shining Armors judgment, I would have simply refused.”

“Mmm.”

Luna stood up, twirling on the heel of her hoof to face me.

“Now then, as pleasing as it would be to spend the night with you, I have many dreams to peruse. If there’s nothing else, I must end our dance tonight.”

“There is, actually.”

“Oh?”

I opened the flap of my backpack, reaching in and grabbing my journal. My fingers quivered as I picked at the edges, questioning whether I should really show her or not. Once she saw, there was no going back.

I held my breath until it burned, squinting my eyes until they were almost closed.

I just had to have faith in her. The same way she had faith in me.

“Look,” I flipped through the pages, stopping only when I got to the symbols that were starting to haunt me. I turned the book around, showing it to her.

“This is…”

She yanked the book out of my grip with her magic, and very nearly me along with it. Luna brought it so close to her face I couldn’t tell what expression she was making, hidden behind the diary of what must have seemed to be a madman. Considering who I learned the font from, that isn’t too far off.

“I know the code the cult’s been using. I can read it for you, if you like.”

She muttered something to herself, floating the book a few feet away and glaring at it like it had deeply offended her.

“If what you’re saying is true, then you could be the break the DIC’s been looking for.” She closed the book, levitating it back over to me. “Or, you could reveal what I suspect; that there is no sense behind the messages in the first place.”

I closed the book, placing it back in my backpack.

“What do you mean?”

“Simple; if I were them, I would send coded information that was useless even if they somehow decoded it. It would be a waste of the enemies time and resources that cost me next to nothing. Tis why I have tried to convince my sister to divert DIC’s staff to something useful.”

There was an underlying irritation to her voice, one that I could only be thankful wasn’t directed towards me.

“You really think it's just a bunch of useless gibberish?”

“I do, Celestia, Cadance, Shining Armor, and few others believe on the off chance there could be a scrap of something useful there.”

“Well,” my shoulders dragged, pulling together until they almost touched. “Couldn’t there be?”

Luna squinted, then her eyes widened as she shifted towards me.

“If you’re offering, and can do so with minimal effort, I suppose I could arrange to give you a random sample before you leave and go from there. Hmmm, if I’m correct then I can claim there was a brief breakthrough and finally convince Tia to do something much more fitting. If I am wrong, then we get an advantage against the enemy that may tip things in our favor. A downside I do not perceive.” She closed her eyes, bringing her hand to her chin and tapping the end of it. “What do you want in exchange?”

“What? Nothing, I don’t want—”

“Neigh, that is not how I do things.” She walked up to me, her wings flickering as the moonlight she created reflected off of her. “I do not accept charity; I didn’t a millenia ago, I will not now. Even if we’re friends, at the very least, I will be content with owing you a boon. Or,” her lips curled into a devious smirk, extending her two wings in different directions. “You can let me choose how I repay you. ‘Surprise you’, as it were.”

She didn’t even attempt to hide which option she wanted me to pick, tilting her head to the right.

My curiosity aside, I wasn’t the biggest fan of surprises. That being said, Lumi was a pleasant one, though it wasn’t much of a surprise at this point. Somehow, the idea of Luna owing me a favor was more unsettling. Shining being indebted to me was discomforting, but Luna? She has been more than a friend to me, she convinced me to keep going. She helped me save them, for better or worse.

It would stay on my mind until I settled on something, and then I’d feel awful about making Luna do something she might not have wanted.

“Uhm,” what was it that Spike said when I met him? ‘That’s a problem for future Chara.’ “Surprise me?”

Luna let out a hearty laugh, her wings drawing in like the curtains of a window.

“I was truly hoping you’d say that. I have just the thing in mind.” A letter floated in from the edge of where the fake moon shone, followed by a pen that was already writing before it even made its way to her. As quickly as it appeared, it vanished in a puff of smoke. “And it is done.”

“Already?” I raised my head, eyes scanning the room searching for anything new. “What did you do?”

“Chara, I’m shocked. You know I can’t reveal that to you; then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” Luna smirked, gesturing towards the door. “Now, the night waits not even for me. I must away.”

She opened it with her magic, the light in the room starting to fade. Despite having lights attached to the walls, the hallway somehow looked pitch black in comparison.

I tightened the straps of my backpack to my shoulder, slipping some of my fingers under it to get a better grip.

“Thank you, Luna. Really, you’ve been incredibly helpful.”

“Please, you’re too modest.” She tilted her head. “I’ve merely been myself.”

As I entered the hallway and the door closed behind me, I once more got out my journal, flipping to the list I made just an hour prior. Luna ended up helping me take care of things.

Leaving one remaining.

_____________

I knocked on the door to Dark’s room, finding its curves and patterns identical to mine. I waited in the hallway, counting the amount of lights on the walls just to keep myself preoccupied. Actually, now that my mind was drifting, I realized that this was the first time I was left alone in the hallways. No escort, no princess, just…me.

I couldn’t decide if I hated it or not.

Before I could dwell on it, I heard the thumping of hoofsteps getting ever closer. I pulled down my shirt, adjusting my hair to where they covered my ears and only spent a second or two questioning why I was bothering to do that before the door opened.

“Oh, I’ve been wondering when I’d actually get to see you, Char.” Dark was wearing the same t-shirt and sweatpants I usually saw him in, stepping to the side and opening the door a bit more. “Come on in. I was going to bed soon, but we can chat for a bit.”

“Thanks.”

The lights inside were on so the room was well lit, though set to a ‘dim’ so it wasn’t overly bright. I didn’t even know they had a dim setting.

“How’s your day been? I’ve been having to tell anyone who recognizes me that my name is actually ‘Light Glow.’ As long as none of them are ex-bounty hunters, I should be good.”

I tried not to bring up Brash, which brought my mind to his escort.

“Where’s Luster?”

“Who? Wait, that’s the name of the guard who was with me I think. Princess Luna came by and said she was relieved for the night, so she went off…somewhere.”

He walked over to his bed, which was already a mess, and adjusted the pillow and blanket to be relatively straight.

“Huh, the same thing happened to me. But it was Shining Armor.”

“The captain of the royal guard? Wow, you just know everyone, huh?”

He said with a chuckle before sitting on the bed, gesturing to the bed like Luna did.

“I don’t know any of them that well, really.” I sat down on the opposite side of the bed, placing my backpack on the floor. “How’s your first day back in Canterlot?”

“Well, I’ve been stuck in the castle all day being briefed about what I am and am not allowed to do while staying here; so it's been very nostalgic of my childhood.” He leaned back, raising his arms and stretched until there was a satisfying crack. “Yours, Mrs. Important human girl?”

“I’m not…” a word came to mind from the dictionaries I read through last time, though I’d never heard it actually said. “You’re incorrigible.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You sound just like my mom.”

“I didn’t do that much today.” That was maybe a lie? I learned some important stuff, but I couldn’t do very much with it except give it to people who can actually do something with it. “I talked to Celestia and Shining, then Luna, and came here. That’s really it.”

“You say that like talking to the princesses is a daily occurrence. I know nobles who’d backstab their own mother just to see them once a week. If that doesn’t make you special, I don’t know what the word means.”

“I’m not special, I just know a lot of special people.”

“Well,” Dark’s voice lowered, gripping the edges of the bed as he leaned the opposite direction. “You’re special to me.”

Whatever I tried to say to that came out as a squeak, my face as hot as the tea Celestia served me.

“So, um,” after a few seconds of increasingly tense silence, I inched closer to Dark. “Are we…going to see your family tomorrow?”

“Yeah, at some point. I want to go around Canterlot City a bit though, visit some places and see if they’re still around. Maybe take you to a few places.”

“Like a date?”

“Not like a date, is a date.” He moved a bit closer to me, our shoulders nearly grazing. “If you’ll have me, of course.”

“One that ends in meeting your parents.”

That comment seemed to sap the bravado right out of him, his grin fading to something almost unrecognizable.

“Yeah, there is that.”

“Most of the books have them wait until way later to introduce each other to their families, if they can help it.”

“Chara,” he turned towards me, placing one leg on the bed with its bottom half hanging off the side. “I wouldn’t recommend using romance books as reference for actual relationships, they’re kinda, well, romanticized.”

“Well, yeah, they’re romance.”

He snorts, waving his hand as it landed on my own. It was soft, wrapping around my own with a gentleness that reminded me of Toriel. I swallowed my urge to pull away, trying to imagine his hand as a pillow.

“No, I meant they make it unrealistic to the point where they can’t be compared to reality. I read a couple, and a lot of them depict it in a very idealistic way. You shouldn’t look at it as a point of reference for yo—our relationship.” Intentionally or not, his grip tightened on my hand, and he made eye contact. I held it for as long as I could, getting more and more used to the burning in my brain. “If you don’t feel like you’re ready to meet them, you don’t have to. Heck, I’ll head back to Ponyville on the next train if you want me to.”

“No, I want to talk to them with you. I just,” I thought back to when Pinkie showed up to Fluttershy’s the night before we went to the farm, gripping the chair until I left nail indents in the fabric. “I kinda suck at being supportive.”

“That’s fine.” He raised my hand, clasping it in his other one. “You just being here is all the support I need, seriously. That’s all you have to do.”

My hand was getting sweaty, buried in a blanket of black fur. Despite him trying his best to be gentle, the gesture only made me more uncomfortable. I couldn’t tell if he didn’t notice, or was just waiting for my answer before letting go.

“...alright.”

He let out a sigh, releasing my hands as they fell to the bed. I instinctively yanked them to my chest, taking a breath that prickled the inside of my dry throat.

“You’re the bestest.” Dark leaned forward like he wanted to hug me, but then noticed something and went rigid, rubbing a hand through his hair as his shoulders dragged. “And…I can tell you’ve had a busy day. Listen, I appreciate you finding time to come by and check on me, but you look like you need sleep more than I do. So, if you wanna go ahead and leave, I’ll get it.”

“Are you sure? I left you alone all day.”

“And tomorrow I have you all to myself, so it’s fine.”

“Mm.” I rubbed my elbow, still trying to figure out how I felt about that. A few hours I can deal with, spending the night making a mental list of topics to go through, but a whole day? I don’t know if I could manage that long. It took me months just to function by myself in Ponyville. “Alright. Can I at least know where you plan to take me tomorrow?”

“Um, well, I don’t know what’s still in business. There’s the coffee place called ‘Cofe’s Canterlot Coffee’ that had the best cold brew I’ve ever had. They also have some good bagels if you want to go there for breakfast?”

Well, it was that, or have an incredibly awkward breakfast with Celestia. Because I didn’t get that enough times last time I stayed in Canterlot.

“Sure.”

“Awesome. Then, after that I guess we could check out the clothes store I used to get my stuff at, then the bar I used to drink with the colts with, which we can’t go to since you don’t like alcohol. Um,”

“W—we can go to the bar. I just will drink something else? Uh, do they have eggnog?”

“Yes, but not the non—alcoholic kind. Or, well, I guess I could ask them to not put alcohol in the eggnog?” He scratched his chin, stroking the beard that’d more or less formed there. “Eh, we’ll deal with it then. Then, after that, we can go get lunch. Finally,” His jaw clenched, closing his eyes in a fleeting moment of contemplation. “Meeting my family while a little buzzed and on a full stomach. Like any good family reunion.”

“As long as they don’t have flower sandwiches, that’s fine.”

“Well, it’s not exactly a,” Dark ground his teeth, placing his chin on his knee. “Pony lunch place, exactly. It serves uh,” he coughed, rubbing his adams apple. “Meat.”

“Meat?” It somehow didn’t occur to me that I’d never heard it uttered by ponies. Read, sure, but never said. “Like from animals?”

“Yeah. I, uh, sort of expected you to be more…horrified?”

“I, uhm, hm.” Is that what most ponies thought of it? I suppose I’d never seen them eat anything that contained meat, or really mention it. Then again, neither did Toriel. “I’ve…had meat before.”

“Oh.” I could see the muscle in his shoulders relax just a smidge, his head moving back until it hit the headboard with a light thump. “Huh. I would have figured since you lived with Fluttershy, you’d be totally against it.”

“I don’t,” I also couldn’t recall a time Fluttershy and I talked about that. “Actually know how Fluttershy feels about that. I’ve never seen her eat meat. Or really talk about it aside from her animals.”

“I guess that makes sense. So,” he scratched his neck, pulling at his shirt. “How do you feel about it?”

“The same way I feel about any other food I eat?” I shrugged, playing with a wrinkle in the blanket I was sitting on. “I used to eat meat every other day in my village.”

“Cool. Then, I guess I know what we’re doing for lunch.”

“So, why are you ok with it?”

“I…” his knee bounced a bit, the corners of his lips twitching. “I used to experiment a lot in college with stuff, food was one of them. I just found out during them that I didn’t mind certain kinds of meats in like, a sandwich or something.”

He stood up, extending his hand to me. With bated breath, I took it, stepping off the bed and finding my footing relatively easily.

“Do you want me to walk you back to your room, ma’lady?”

I couldn't help but chuckle at his blatantly fake accent.

“No thanks, I’m a big girl.”

“I don’t know about that, you can barely reach up to my chest.”

I pursed my lips, refusing to comment on that.

Dark walked me to the doorway, leaning against the entrance as he watched me leave. Soon, I didn’t feel his gaze at all, and I was once again alone in the bedroom. My head sank into a pillow made for one twice my size, staring up at a canopy that could swallow me whole.

I could tell that, if I really tried to sleep, I might get an hour or two. At that point, I’d wake up more tired than if I didn’t sleep at all. There was something better I could be doing with my time.

I sat up, getting my journal out and flipping to the next cleanest page.

Now, to start thinking about conversation topics.