A Question of Immortality
Twilight stretched a bit and shifted on her throne. After many years of ruling Canterlot, she thought she’d be more comfortable atop the dais. Spiritually and mentally, she was. However, physically, she wasn’t. Her rump gradually became sore as she sat through wave after wave of ambassadors and citizens, generals and chiefs of staff. It seemed that her life was one continuous appointment, and she wished for anything that might distract her. She’d even take a mission with her dear friends…although at this point in life, they were much too old for such things. She sighed as memories of their adventures in Ponyville flashed through her mind.
Oh, damn this long life I’ve been cursed with! She spat internally, I just want to be with my friends…to grow old with them…and to die with them.
Her small internal beef with her semi-immortal nature came to a grinding halt as Filer Filly, her unicorn secretary, came in. She was an excellent assistant to Twilight. Consistently punctual and just as organized as the princess, Filer made a profound impact on Twilight almost from the moment she began working for her. Not only that, but the two had grown incredibly close in friendship. It was very often that Twilight would treat Filer to an evening on the town as a show of gratitude for all her hard work. Filer helped keep Twilight on track ever since Spike retired as Friendship Ambassador and Royal Advisor. But on this day, the blue mare came to Twilight with trouble in her golden gaze.
“Your Majesty,” she said, bowing respectfully.
“Oh! Filer!” Twilight said, startled out of her reverie, “how may I help you?”
“This isn’t about me,” Filer said, “nor is it about anypony in Canterlot or Ponyville. I’ve received a message from Luna in Silver Shoals. Twilight…it’s not good.”
“Not good?” Twilight asked, pricking her ears in concern, “what do you mean?”
“It’s Celestia, my princess,” Filer responded sadly, “she’s…well…she’s…”
The poor mare just couldn’t bring herself to utter the dreaded word, “dying.” It was common knowledge that the former princess and raiser of the sun was terribly ill. Ponitis, pneumonia, hay fever, and a major case of flank cancer had all beset the white pony. From Luna’s constant reports, Twilight had gathered that Celestia was bedridden. But the recent letters had stated a decided uptick in Celestia’s health. Luna had stated that her complexion was returning and she was sitting up and able to take some food. But by the tone in Filer’s voice, Twilight knew that Celestia was still deep in this forest of frightening maladies. She didn’t want to believe it, but some part of her registered that Celestia was passing.
“There’s no need to say it aloud,” she said comfortingly, “I understand. Please, send a message to my friends in Ponyville. Tell them…we’ve been summoned for one final meeting with Princess Celestia.”
The train ride from Canterlot to Silver Shoals was long and lonely for Twilight, even with Filer sitting right across from her. She looked out the window, trying desperately to remain strong. She understood Celestia’s plight, and knew that her former mentor would need all the friendship and support she could provide. But at the same time, Celestia had taught her friendship. She’d instilled her with that sense of mountain moving willpower. Now that she was dying, Twilight felt like she was losing one of her pillars.
She also felt as though she were being punished by some unknown deity for a great sin. The long life she held played into her logic, and she wondered why she’d been given this gift while everypony she cared about would meet the grave much sooner. She knew that the fate of all ponies, including her, wound up the same way: in a box, in a hole, six hooves deep. But simultaneously, she also understood that she had responsibilities to uphold. Her long life would help with this…but it would also bring great pain and suffering.
The purple princess saw that Pegasi were performing a ritualistic flight that they did every so often. They flipped in the air, flapped their wings three or four times, and then returned to a basic gliding pattern. This was the signal to all the ground ponies that rain was on the way. The darkening skies also spoke of the new weather, and Twilight felt as though it was somewhat appropriate. Even though the Pegasi knew nothing of Celestia’s severe situation, it was like they were paying sad homage to her. The rain soon began to fall, and Twilight thought each one was a tear from somepony that owed Celestia a great debt. She counted herself among these ranks, for without the kind, gentle princess, there would have been no way for her to confidently ascend the throne of Canterlot.
Please, she silently begged her second mother, stay alive…at least, long enough for me to see you…and thank you.
“Silver Shoals!” The conductor called as the train screeched to a halt.
Everypony on board got up and began ferrying themselves off the train. Some precocious young colts and fillies wanted to get a picture with Twilight. As much pain as she was in, she could not deny these young faces. So, she smiled as best as she could, and then sent them on their way. Their small bouncing bodies and happy squeals of delight pricked her soul and she couldn’t help but feel a small bit of joy. She loved foals, and she wished that she might join her friends in motherhood one day.
As she watched them leave, more memories of Celestia’s motherly nature flooded her brain. She remembered when Celestia was kind and soft, guiding her hooves on the path to her royal destiny. But she also remembered when she’d gotten into trouble, and Celestia had become stern. All the same, forgiveness was never out of reach, and Twilight always accepted her punishments. For, after all, lessons needed to be learned in order to progress in life.
Leaving the train platform, Twilight and the ever present Filer trotted through the small town of Silver Shoals. Ponies went about their business, stopping only to gawk at their unexpected royal visitor. But Twilight’s face showed her emotion, and the ponies knew better than to bother her when she was feeling this way. While she was grateful for their sensitivity, the friendly part of her wished desperately for a soft touch or a kind word. She was going through a very dark moment, and she wanted a friend right beside her. True, Filer was there, but Twilight still felt empty. She needed more…she needed her Ponyville friends.
Then, suddenly, a pink pony hobbled up and threw her hooves around Twilight. The two old friends cried for a moment, thrilled to see each other again, but saddened at the circumstance. Twilight backed away and gazed into Pinkie Pie’s blue eyes, noting the age that resided there. No longer was Pinkie the spry young pony that Twilight knew in Ponyville. She didn’t throw parties anymore, and she’d long since retired her party cannon. But the joviality and endless thirst for life still played deep in her spirit, and Twilight could see it. She smiled and silently pulled Pinkie in for another hug.
“It’s so wonderful to see you, my friend,” Twilight said, “it’s been much too long.”
“Indeed, it has,” Pinkie said, wheezing a bit as she struggled to stand on her hind legs and remain in the hug, “I’m so sorry that I’ve been unable to come to The Council of Friendship meetings.”
“It’s okay,” Twilight said, “think nothing of it.”
“It’s just…I’ve been foalsitting for Lil’ Cheese’s son and daughter a lot…and life’s been rough since my beloved Cheese Sandwich passed.”
“I know,” Twilight said in deep consolation, “and I don’t expect you to feel any different on my account. Cheese was a great husband to you, and a wonderful father to your son. He deserves to be remembered and cherished.”
Pinkie smiled as she looked into Twilight’s still youthful eyes. Memories of the fun they had as young ponies ran through her mind. Montages of beautiful experiences played themselves out, and Pinkie felt tears come to the corners of her eyes. True, she was elderly, but she still loved Twilight to death. For a moment, she wished with all her heart that she might pull out her old cannon and blast Twilight with a fun artillery of confetti and streamers. But those days were long gone. Now, she lived from doctor’s visit to doctor’s visit, loving her family and residing peacefully in the Ponyville Retirement Village.
Speaking of retired ponies, Twilight smiled as the rest of her friends came up. They were all very much older and had lived fulfilling lives. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had become roommates as the years went on before falling in love with separate stallions. Dash’s husband, Soarin, and she had gone on to co-captain the Wonderbolts for decades. They were gifted with three bundles of joy, and each one had become a Wonderbolt with a deeply rooted family. Dash and Soarin retired with honor and, along with Spitfire, were named to the first class of the Wonderbolt Hall of Fame.
As for Applejack, she and her husband, Cinder Core, had run Sweet Apple Acres for years and years. They had four or five children, whom had each grown up and followed in the family business. Now, the farm was in their care, and AJ and Cinder lived a peaceful, retired life. But even so, they chose to remain at the homestead rather than move into a retirement home. They kept the stories of the Apples, Pears, and Cinders alive, and those, in turn, were passed on to the next generation. Life was wonderful, and a cup of cider was always the exclamation point on another great day.
Then came Rarity, the once beautiful fashionista. Her mane drooped, and her fur sagged as she trotted up. But her vibrance and love of creativity were still unmistakable. She even wore a hat that she’d designed herself. Unfortunately, her hooves were no longer strong enough to make things. So, she’d sent it away to a young designer, Pizzaz Stripes, and had her make it. Now, she could wear it in public. She’d also fallen in love, only she didn’t have a pony in her life. Rather, it was her beloved dragon, Spike, who’d stolen her heart. They had two children, pony and dragon hybrids affectionately referred to as “pogons.” The young ones were welcomed by both the ponies and the dragons and they made many friends. When they grew up and married, they passed on the “pogon” bloodline. Rarity was very proud of her life, and she’d retired to the Ponyville Retirement Village where she roomed with Pinkie Pie.
Twilight’s smile grew as Fluttershy managed to pull herself forward. Recently, she’d retired from her animal sanctuary, after over 50 years of service. Twilight had awarded her with a medal for her tireless efforts to protect Equestria’s least protected species. Not only that, but the yellow Pegasus had a wonderful romance with Discord. The two had a hybrid child of their own, and she played with and befriended the pogons. Everything was happy…until the sudden and shocking death of Fluttershy’s beloved mate. Everypony thought he was immortal, until his chaos magic was zapped and his systems destroyed by a foe. Twilight had captured this foe and locked her away, but the damage had been done. Discord died…and Fluttershy was inconsolable. But then she remembered that she had a daughter to care for. So, little by little and week by week, she got back on her hooves. Now, she was an unmarried retired mare, living life in the joyous comforts of her new cottage in the forest.
Finally, Twilight bowed as her fellow princess, Starlight Glimmer, stepped forward. The two mares were almost identical in size, and they spread their wings in respect. Twilight always counted it a mistake that Starlight had not been made a princess sooner. But the head of The School of Friendship needed such authority, and Twilight was very eager to grant it. Her eyes sparkled as Starlight rose and gave her a hug. The two wrapped their wings around each other, finding a great deal of comfort in the warmth provided.
“I…can’t believe she’s going,” Starlight said.
“Neither can I,” Twilight responded, “but we must be there for her. Let’s be on our way. We don’t have any time to spare.”
Upon arriving at Celestia and Luna’s home, Twilight was greeted with an embrace from the former moon raiser. She seemed tired, incessantly battered with the weight of her ill elder sibling. But, through it all, a sisterly love graced her eyes, breaking through the burden and finding a new day on the other side. The horizon of death was in front of her, and she had to watch as her sister crossed it. Terrifying thoughts ranged her mind, limitless in their power and lethal in their mental force. To say that she was glad to see Twilight and her friends would have been an understatement. Even though five of the seven ponies that stood before her were well beyond their prime years, she was very thankful for their presence.
“Thank you all so much for coming,” she said, “I am touched at your outpouring of love and kindness for my sister. I understand that it must have been difficult to travel all this way, but I am grateful for your commitment. If Celestia were able to stand, she’d say the same.”
“Please,” Rarity suddenly said, “how is Celestia’s condition?”
“It’s very bad, Rarity,” Luna responded honestly, fighting back tears, “and getting worse all the time. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that, in a few hours, she may leave us.”
“I still can’t believe it,” Rainbow said, “I always thought you princesses were immortal.”
Luna shook her head. “No, my dear Rainbow, I’m afraid we’re just as mortal as other ponies. We’re given longer lives to govern in peace and harmony. But that is a magical gift and, just as all magic, it eventually fades away. The mystical force within us can no longer physically sustain our bodies. So, we become sick…and we die. It’s been that way since the first princess, and it shall continue to be that way throughout eternity.”
“I know it’s difficult to accept,” Twilight said, nodding in Luna’s direction, “but Luna’s right. Someday…I’ll die…and so will Starlight.”
“The catch 22 of all this is that we have to say goodbye to so many friends first,” Starlight said, “so, while it is a blessing to have such a long life, it’s also a curse.”
“But enough of those matters,” Twilight said, turning to face Luna, “may I…see her?”
“Of course,” Luna said, “this way.”
She turned and led Twilight down a corridor and into Celestia’s room. The purple princess stopped short when she saw what lay on the bed. It was Celestia, only it seemed to be a shell of the former ruler. Her pink eyes stared dully at the wall that accosted their vision. The hooves that once galloped in friendship and love now lay useless. Her breathing was shallow, and Twilight could tell that she was struggling to maintain her functions. But the worst part of all was when Twilight bent down next to her and put an ear to her chest. Her heartbeat was so painfully slow that it almost caused Twilight to weep. It used to thunder away, bringing forth life and light to everypony. Now…it was nothing more than a flicker.
“Oh, Celestia,” Twilight whispered.
Celestia suddenly began moving. She managed to turn herself to where she might look at her dear student. Her mind began working overtime, turning over stone after stone of memories regarding this pony. In Celestia’s view, Twilight was still the small, curious, excited little pony. She still saw her as a student and something of a daughter, confessing her problems and learning about friendship. Gone were the royal diadem and the breastplate of authority. Her golden slippers dissipated and her wings were stripped away. In its place was Twilight…before her destiny. Celestia watched as the playful, studious little unicorn tried to find her place in the world. She saw her struggle, and then she remembered the painful decision to send her to Ponyville. Her heart broke all over again. But then, memories of the amazing times Twilight spent there pushed into her mind. She saw the adventures Twilight went on with her friends, and how she’d become a princess and then, ultimately, ruler.
She gently maneuvered a hoof and stroked Twilight’s cheek. “Oh, my precious Twilight,” she managed to get out.
“It…pains me to see you this way,” Twilight confessed as tears began to fall, “…and it’s a pain I never, ever want to feel again.”
“But you will,” Celestia said, “for death is a part of this world, no matter how much we deny it. Your friends will die…your subjects will die…and someday, you yourself will die.”
“Oh, come on, Celestia,” Twilight said, “let’s not focus on the depressing.”
“Why not?” Celestia asked in a voice racked with pain and heartache, “it’s all I have left.”
“Now, that is not true,” Twilight said, “you’ve got lots left. You have me, our friends, and everything else.”
“What else?” Celestia asked, pink eyes betraying the severe hurt she felt, “what else do I have, Twilight? I’m gonna be dead in a few hours, and nopony will even care. Ever since I left the throne, Equestria has forgotten me. You are what the land needs now. I’m old news…a distant flash of lightning in the paths and storms of the world. I…I have so much to regret.”
“Why?” Twilight asked, “I mean, you did so much when you were ruler.”
“Name one thing,” Celestia said bluntly.
“How about stopping Luna from destroying the world as Nightmare Moon? What about defeating Discord for the first time?”
“They all pale in comparison to what you’ve done,” Celestia said with a rough, heart rending edge to her voice, “you successfully brought all kinds of species together in friendship. You’ve taught each individual pony their worth. You help them find each other. You teach magic, amiability, and The Elements of Harmony. You even stopped a recent war with Saddle Arabia. You are, by far, the better princess.”
Twilight furrowed her brow. She did not want her beloved mentor to pass thinking that she was somehow inadequate. Certainly, some depression was in order. Impending death would do that to somepony, after all. But at the same time, Celestia needed to know just how intensely loved and cherished she was. Equestria at large might no longer have thrown her daily parades, but The Festival of The Two Sisters was still a huge part of every summer. During the winter, she was remembered at Hearth’s Warming. History books spoke of her great accomplishments. So…why did she feel like nopony would care? Worse, why did she feel like Twilight was somehow a better princess?
“Celestia, there is no such thing as a better princess,” Twilight said gently, yet with a small dose of firmness corroborating her point, “we’re simply different. I couldn’t dream of doing some of the things you used to do. You had to imprison your own sibling on the moon! You had to rule alone while receiving nightly reminders of that battle and all the pain that came with it. Still…you pushed through! I mean…I’d probably die if I had to banish Spike or one of my friends! Trust me. You did some pretty astounding things while you were ruler.”
“Yet here I am dying,” Celestia moaned, “so…in the end…what was the point of it all? Why have I been given thousands of years of extra life just to have my fate be the same as every other pony?”
Twilight pondered this for a moment, then began brushing a tender hoof through Celestia’s mane. “Perhaps it is because Star Swirl saw something in you that he didn’t see in anypony else. Perhaps it’s because that same fate demanded that you live longer to rule through the darkest of hours. Not only that, but if you had not lived, then we never would’ve met. I never would’ve known what it was like to be taught and loved by the greatest pony in the land. So, in the end, your extra life meant so much to so many, especially myself.”
“I always wanted to be immortal,” Celestia confessed after a moment’s silence.
“But immortality is an impossibility, even with magic,” Twilight said, “you know that.”
“Yes, I do,” Celestia responded with tears in her eyes, “…and…it’s always pained me. Knowing that, someday, I’d have to leave my little ponies behind and venture forth into oblivion. The abyss is calling my name, Twilight…and I fear that, in a few moments, I shall answer. But what am I leaving behind? You’ve told me of this grand legacy, so…why can’t I see it?”
“I think your own fear is creating a blindness,” Twilight said wisely, “and that blindness is keeping you from seeing the truth. Celestia, you made the biggest impact anypony’s ever made. I only hope I can follow in your hoof steps.”
“I think you are,” Celestia said before coughing heavily.
“Sh…sh…it’s okay,” Twilight said, offering a kind hoof to Celestia’s back, “relax.”
“I’m thankful for your presence,” Celestia went on, “but…I just want to know…will I be remembered? If I’m not immortal…”
“Your mortality doesn’t matter,” Twilight said, “because all of Equestria still adores you. I know that your death will be met with great mourning. However, it will also be met with fond memories and a celebration of just what you meant to everypony. But most of all, I will remember you…because you’re immortal to me. You’ve always been immortal in my heart.”
“Oh, Twilight,” Celestia said as tears rolled freely, “…I love you, my dear little filly.”
“I love you too, Celestia,” Twilight said as her own tears rolled and she fell into her mentor’s embrace, “you’re one of my best friends. Thank you for being my teacher…my princess…and my second mother.”
“You’re welcome,” Celestia said, struggling to breathe as her body began shutting down, “…now, go…create your own legacy…and know that…that I’m always with you.”
These were the great ruler’s final words. Twilight felt the body go limp, and she pulled away. She held the mandatory bit of tears as her heart began aching terribly. But she also held a sense of relief and closure. Celestia had died with the assurance that all of Equestria would remember her. Twilight remembered, from Luna’s recent letters, how Celestia had spiraled into a hole of self-doubt as she became sicker and sicker. But Twilight was happy that she’d been able to reassure the ruler of herself. The moment was a bittersweet one, yet Twilight knew it needed to happen. For, after all, nopony lives forever.
“You’re safe, now,” Twilight said as she stood back to gaze at the dead princess, “never again will you be in pain. That comforts me. Losing you is the greatest pain ever, but…at the same time, the knowledge that you aren’t suffering any longer causes me to rejoice. Don’t you worry, Celestia. I will create a legacy that you will be proud of. Friendship, love, and harmony will continue to rule Equestria. So now, I say, goodbye…and thank you. Thank you for everything.”
She sniffed a bit before concluding. “Long…live…Princess…Celestia.”
