The stale tale of Cake, the dumbass!

Cake had finished drying her tears and was trying to think of her next move before she would be allowed to mail the letter as Shining walked in the room and sat down on the adjacent bunk.

“You okay?” was all he could think to say as Cake dodged his gaze. The mare did not respond as she placed the envelope back under her mattress and stared out the window.

“I don't mean this in any cruel way, but you were never supposed to do well here, Cake,” Shining said, making Cake turn her head and glare at him. “The tests they give us are about defining your character, not your abilities. You're the youngest, shortest, and the least likely to have any experience as a guard.”

Cake bit her tongue as her shame turned into rage. She wanted Shining to finish whatever he was saying and go back down to the courtyard but instead he continued.

“The only reason I'm doing decently here is because I was training for a full year before I got accepted to come to the academy. I can help you if you want me to, Cake, with the four of us we are only as strong as our weakest-”

Cake knew the next words and cut him off. “Weakest link, huh? Yeah I guess we all can't be perfect like you. Well, it would probably look amazing on your record when they see you were willing to help out your stubby excuse for a squadmate.” Cake stood up and turned to leave the room before she stopped at the door, while Shining remained silent. “I still owe you one, just one, you probably have about a week to cash in before I get kicked out of here.”

Shining watched the filly leave as he let out a long sigh, and started to look out the window himself as he heard her steps dissipate down the hallway. Cake walked back into the library and picked up an odd assortment of books about magic tricks and optical illusions as she plotted her way out of Canterlot and back home to Appleloosa. After a few hours of practice and refining her technique she went back to her bunkroom to see Dilly and Shining were both there in the room, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.

“Violet back yet?” Cake asked, looking at Dilly.

“Uh, yeah, he’s in the bathroom getting the mud and grass out of his mane,” Dilly responded from her top bunk as Cake slid into her own.

Cake lay down and pulled her blanket over herself and got comfortable to sleep, before she briefly opened her eyes to see Dilly hanging her head down and staring at her.

“What do you want?” Cake asked, annoyed.

“It's only like two pm, don’t you at least wanna eat lunch?” Dilly asked, confused.

“I’m not hungry,” was all Cake said as she rolled over and faced the wall and closed her eyes. Dilly raised her head and went back to her own business, leaving Cake to her rest.

Cake awoke sometime later, dehydrated and confused as her ears perked up to the sound of banging on the door. She threw off her blanket and looked around, the light had been turned off and the room was empty. Another barrage of bangs were audible from the other side of the door as she stood up and opened it.

“Where the hell have you been! You better have been stepping out of the bath missie because if I found out-” Silver stopped herself as she looked down at Cake. The mare was a mess, with dried tears streaking from her eyes down to her chest, her frazzled unkempt mane shooting off in every direction and her slump, uncaring eyes staring up blankly at Silver Mane.

Silver Mane stopped for a second, dead in her tracks out of either shock or disgust, same thing in Cake’s eyes, as her jaw slightly opened and she eyed over the filly. “Wow, you fall one time and you hit rock bottom. A trait that runs in your family…” After she completed her inspection she raised her muzzle up and snorted. “For the last four weeks we sent constant letters to known… offspring of former guards, such as yourself. When you refused to respond Celestia almost took it as an outright act of protest from your family, due your father’s ‘accident’ while serving in the frozen wastes.”

Cake was half awake before but now her eyes were wide open. “ACCIDENT!? Is that what you fucking call it? You left him out there to die! He would have if it wasn't for my mother!”

“He fell into a ravine, fifty feet drop, the captain thought he was dead!” Silver Mane said, flustered.

“Is that why the captain ordered him to cross that fucking bridge in the first place? Or maybe it was when the same fucking captain ordered the other guards to leave him behind!? Fuck you!” Cake slammed the door in rage as she returned to her bunk and stared at the bars above her. Silver Mane took a deep breath and trotted away, deciding the mare had been pushed enough for one day.

Cake pondered what Silver Mane thought she was doing bringing that up. She had known the senior was pushing her emotions for whatever messed up test the guards did on the foals here, but to go that low? Her mind rolled it over before it landed on one conclusion. This was not a test anymore, it was personal. From the uniform, the teasing, the courtyard test, to now. Whatever history her father had with Silver Mane had been bad, enough so to lead to it being casted down to her, and she was not going to let Silver Mane get the last laugh. After bringing out her letter for the second time that day and inking out the P.S.S., Cake would not be leaving the guard yet. She would not let Silver Mane win.

Cake had skipped last night's dinner along with lunch and the night before’s dinner. She was starving as she woke up in the middle of the night, her head throbbing from dehydration. After a look around the room to see the rest of her squadmates still sound asleep she decided to run to the cafeteira and catch her missed meals. She got up and walked out of the room and down the flight of stairs to see the dimly lit, empty mess hall in front of her.

She wasn't trying to be loud nor quiet as she trotted in and looked around for any leftovers or food that had not yet been cooked. The line where cadets would grab their trays had been scrubbed down and the metal boxes empty as she made her way to the back and into the kitchen. The inside seemed just as empty until she laid her eyes on the freezer door. Approaching it she expected it to be locked but as she turned the doorknob it opened and she stepped in.

Many of the boxes were bland foods, or oatmeal. Then generic cereal, eggs, and a single box labeled apples. Cake was pretty competent in the kitchen, sometimes needing to make her own lunches and breakfast, so to her nothing sounded better than an apple omelette as she grabbed a carton and two Granny Smiths from the freezer and moved back into the kitchen.

After a quick scan her eyes landed on a stove, and a pink apron with white hearts patterned across it laying on top of the burner. Some deep internal desire called to her as she laid down her supplies and inspected the apron, before she knew what she was doing it had already been tied around her neck and back. After making sure it wasn't dragging on the ground she returned to cooking her meal, cracking open the eggs and slicing the apple apart with her magic then throwing said slices in the forming yellow paste.

Hoofsteps alerted her to someone coming in as she turned her head and saw another foal standing in the doorway, getting closer. She panicked, trying to think of where to hide, to throw away the apron, to pretend she was a midget chef until the figure was standing on the other side of the counter watching her, eyeing her down in surprise as Cake realized who it was. It was the pegasus from earlier she had made the deal with. Her blonde mane almost as much of a mess as hers.

“What are you… doing?” the pegasus whispered as she trotted past the counter and closer to Cake.

“I’m making breakfast! What does it look like?” she whispered back.

The pegasus was silent for a second as she looked at Cake’s omelette. “Why are you wearing the apron?”

“You're supposed to wear these when you cook something!” Cake half whispered as she tried to flip the omelette, using the pan to throw it up into the air until it came down and landed half into the pan and half out, spilling its contents onto the stove.

“Well cook me one too, I'm starving!” the pegasus said as she stared down the omelette in the pan.

“Well go get the stuff you want in it from the freezer and I'll be more than happy to!” Cake said, delighted to get to make a new friend with her underappreciated cooking skills.

The pegasus trotted off and returned with a few boxes as Cake finished hers and put it onto a tray. She’d returned with an odd assortment of cans, boxes of different brands of bland cereal, and an apple masher, made for obviously making apple sauce.

“You want me to just throw all this in the pan!?” Cake said, a bit worried of the mare in front of her’s diet.

“Uhhhh, yeah?” the blonde pegasus responded, rolling her eyes and brushing her mane out of her face with a hoof.

Cake shrugged and got to work, throwing what she could fit into the omelette until she realized it could be flipped, so she just cracked more eggs over the whole thing. After she had very carefully flippeding it with her magic and placeding it onto the tray, the pegasus grabbed it with a smile and flew over to one of the tables and began to rip it apart with her teeth.

Cake took off her now messy apron and grabbed her omelette as she trotted over and sat down with the other, watching the animal in front of her rip apart her eggy prey. Cake didn't judge her because she was about to do the same, picking her meal up in her telekinesis and taking large bites out of it. In a few seconds it was gone and she was still hungry.

“I’m gonna make another one, you want seconds?” Cake asked as the blonde mare looked up, her mouth full of trash, and eagerly nodded before returning to her pile of food that shouldn't be cooked and food that should be eaten alone.

Cake was working on another omelette as her new friend came back into her workstation and poker-faced. “Why did you put it back on?” she asked, holding back a laugh.

“It's proper for a chef to wear an apron!” Cake protested.

“Alright, fine, but I'm gonna make my own to speed things up. And to get the proportions right,” the pegasus said as she stretched out one of her wings to turn on the burner for her side of the oven.

“What's your name?” Cake asked with a smile.

“Yellow Diamond,” the mare replied with a nod. “But my friends usually call me Mond-y.”

Cake raised an eyebrow. “Mondy, huh. It's catchy.”

Before they knew it, both the mares were laughing, telling jokes, and enjoying each other’s company as they threw and ate as much food as they could stomach onto their pans. Until a loud stomp was heard right behind them. Both the fillies looked at each other, eyes wide, as they slowly turned to face a large pegasus senior.

“Well well well, what do we have here. Two piggies stuffing themselves on their fellow cadets’ food. What will the others think in a week from now when we tell them they can't eat because you two ate for them?” she said as she got closer and turned the stove off.

“But I-” Cake mumbled before a hoof came too her lips and silenced her.

“Now, now. I don't wanna hear any excuses for why you deserve to eat more food than the other foals. Now clean this up. Right now. And get ready to make breakfast for every cadet who's about to march out here in ten minutes. Today's menu items will be your specialty, little unicorn! Apple Omelettes.” The senior said with a devilish grin as she trotted back around the counter. “And you better not think about taking the apron off.”