One Last Mission

Hi there! Deadpool here. Sorry for taking over the story today, just wanted to give some of you who don't know about who I am, or what the fuck makes me wear this suit the recap of what went down.

If you didn't know, I was a hired assassin. I'd be given your name on a gold card, I'd track you down, sneak in, beat the shit out of you and kill you.

Think of us as fucked up tooth fairies who knock out the teeth and take the cash. Let's just hope we never see your name on a gold card.

During my time as an assassin, I met a nice woman called Vanessa.

Down the line somewhere I got cancer, was turned into a realistic Freddy Krueger, escaped the facility, found Weasel, got this ass into red spandex, bonded with a nice blind lady called Al and killed some people,

Francis, the shitstain who turned me into this freak, kidnapped my girlfriend. He almost killed her, but in the end I fought and killed that fucker. He won't grow back from that! I apologized to Vanessa, started dating her again. Life was good.

I had a happy life for a few years with Vanessa, planned to have a kid called Cher.

Some Japanese fuckers find my place, murdered Vanessa and ruined my life. After that I, Colossus and NegaSonicTeenagewhattheshit tried to save a kid called Russell Collins. Or as he tried to go by, Firefist.

Russell got me sent to a max security prison, had to fight a guy called Cable who's from the future, tried to rescue Russell, that failed, he escaped with Juggernaut who ripped me in half. Domino had to carry me like a backpack and I regrew my lower body and my lower zone.

Found Russell and Juggernaut, took care of the guy, sacrificed myself for Russel, temporarily died, went to heaven, saw and spoke to Vanessa, was revived, prevented a bad future and walked away into the distance with the boyband, Dopinder and Russell.

There. All caught up.

Deadpool teleported behind James, Sunset and Sunrise, the trio were spooked by the annoying mercenary.

"Well, well, well Logan you came back from the dead for another movie didn't ya?" Wade joked rudely, breaking the fourth wall as usual.

"Shut it asshole before ah chop ya into tiny little cubes, ya won't regenerate or heal from that." James snarled, attempting to punch the childish killer.

"Wow, you always were a hothead, it's because you're Canadian, they're always so angry." Deadpool teased, making James growl in frustration.

"Come near me, mah wife or mah daughter and ah will gut ya!" James aggressively threatened. To which it had no effect.

"Wait, Logan's not married, and doesn't have a kid, so who are you really?" Deadpool questioned again. This time more confused.

"First of all ah'm his son so back the fuck off before ah throw ya onto the helicarrier and into it's engines." James warned, his claws starting to come out.

"Easy wolvie, easy. I was kidding." Deadpool said, cackling as James just sighed in annoyance. Eventually the spandex-wearing antihero took notice of their daughter.

"Well who's this adorable girl?" Deadpool asked softly, attempting to try and ruffle the girl's hair, only to be stopped by Mekarm.

"Come near my niece and I will murder you myself." He threatened, punching the mercenary with his mechanical Vibranium arm, sending the immature assassin flying into a building. Only to have him teleport back in front of Mekarm.

"Yeesh, calm down already. Who's this tough looking fucknut?" Wade taunted, as he was punched once again in the face, sending him flying into another building, before teleporting back to them.

"Oh fer fuck's sake!" James roared, preparing to attack as all he began to see was red in his eyes.

Deadpool shrieked and teleported away from them, finally leaving them alone instead of harrassing them.

"Glad that's over with." James stated, Sunset and his daughter nodding in agreement.

The trio decided to head home and relax for the evening. The family enjoyed a home cooked meal and spent the rest of the night as a happy family.