Midnight Reviews

River Dream stirred her coffee before lifting the steaming mug to her muzzle. Inhaling the deep, rich scent before risking a sip. It was still too hot to drink it down quickly, but sipping at it was easy enough.

Gave her mind some time to wake up on her own terms. Blinking blearily at the wooden cabinets in her kitchen, sipping her coffee, River could imagine that things were different. Easier, less fraught with worry.

And then Midnight would roll over or sore, and it would set River worrying all over again.

River Dream was a bat pony, like Midnight, though her colouring was vastly different. Her mane and tail were light teal mint, accented by darker green stripes. Her mane was short and messy, and her tail was long and flowing. Her fur was greyish green-almost a very, very dark teal

River and Midnight were close friends, having known each other for several years. They shared a love of food and booze, and it helped them bond over the years. Especially over the last two years, when Midnight’s career started to really take off.

She emptied her mug before she really meant to, so River poured herself another. Adding in some sugar and stirring it in so it dissolved. The second cup was about as heavenly as the first, and it made her feel like the cobwebs in her head were clearing.

Damned publisher. River’s nostrils flared with the reflexive snort, rolling her eyes irritably at the mere thought of such a nasty stallion.

Poetic Perfection deserved nothing less than what he’d got, but the way he’d used Midnight to his own advantage had ruined her. Ruined her friend, hurt her savings, threatened her reputation…

Letting Midnight sleep, River tiptoed past the living room. Pausing only when Midnight let out a particularly loud snore. Peering over the back of the living chair, River could see Midnight on her side. The couch sagging and groaning underneath her. The couch looked more and more crushed every time River saw it.

Content that Midnight was alright, River made it outside to sit on her porch. Watching as the town of Hollow Shades came alive as the sun rose further into the sky.

A year ago, Midnight had done the cruise and hotel gig. And with that under her belt, and a growing reputation right alongside her waistline, the publishing company had been eager to keep her working. Keep her publishing blogs and articles for people to read.

Poetic Perfection galvanized Midnight's growing popularity and her reputation of being an insatiable glutton. Using her almost like a weapon, using her to ‘review’ opening businesses knowing that, without restraint, Midnight would eat them out of stock and derail their opening nights. And, regardless of her opinions on the matter, Poetic would twist the reviews she wrote into a negative, or derogatory, towards the restaurants, their owners, and their staff.

All because Poetic owned or had ties to other restaurants. He wanted to monopolize the market, and he managed it for almost a full year.

Understandably, Midnight did not take the news well.

A half-crushed publisher and an appeal to the Lunar Court later: things were looking up. Reparations to the ponies she’d been used against had been repaid (she’d even hoofed over a few-hundred of her own bits to help), and Midnight finally got the vacation she’d been moaning about for months.

Only it wasn’t really a vacation. Not in the nice, relaxing way most ponies would see it.

Midnight was only doing alright because she could coast by on her savings, and even then they weren’t what they should have been because of Poetic. She hadn’t fought for her pay, opting instead to have her wages help the ponies who’s businesses she’d unwittingly destroyed. And yet, the lack of bits still worried her.

River didn’t want to think what might happen if somepony tried charging Midnight rent for now. And still, Midnight spent most of her days asleep on the couch that was starting to crumble under her weight. Even then she wasn’t eating like she normally would.

Midnight was down in the dumps, and River wasn’t entirely sure how to fix it.

“Um, excuse me? Miss River?” A schoolpony’s voice broke River from her reverie, and she took the offered flyer without thinking.

“What is it?” She asked, skimming over the bright fonts.

“It’s for Hollow Shade’s Summer Harvest Festival!” The filly chirped, looking both excited and nervous. Worrying at her lower lip as River continued to read. “It...well...Um, we all know how Miss Midnight has been recently. It’s not on any of the merchandise or flyers or anything, but a lot of the ponies in charge have been saying there’s gonna be enough food there that even she can’t eat it all.”

River blinked, a huge smile spreading across her face and making dimples appear in her chubby cheeks. “Oh really? Well thank you for telling us. And it’s tomorrow?”

The filly nodded, returning the grin. “Yes ma’am!”

“Excellent. It’s a safe bet we’ll be there. Now you go run along.”

Already an idea was forming in her mind. Letting her mind wander, River finished the last of her coffee as she gave the flyer another look over.

Nothing brightened Midnight’s spirit like food after all. And who was River to deny her friend an experience that might bring her out of her slump?

(LINE BREAK)

“Come on, Middy, it’s supposed to be a festival! We’ve got to try everything we possibly can, there’s so much here I haven’t had in over a year!” River, though she too was fat, wasn’t nearly as out of shape as Midnight. Making it easy for her to waddle ahead of her friend, her belly swaying and rump jiggling as she moved.

Midnight was slower. Not just because of her massive frame but because of her slump. Even the smells of the wonderful array of food on offer wasn’t enough to brighten her day, even though her stomach was audibly grumbling, begging for nourishment.

“Okay….okay.” Midnight was grossly out of shape for this. Waddling even slower than a year previous, her whole body swaying and jostling as she fought to keep her bulk upright and moving. Sweat darkened her coat, her cheeks were flushed from exertion, and her breathing was just as audible as her growling stomach.

While Midnight seated herself at one of the nearby tables, needing to sit well back on one of the benches just to fit her stomach in the space, River started putting the plan into place. Going from stall to stall to grab up a few things for them to share. Cotton candy, corn on the cob, carrot dogs, a giant soft pretzel the size of a pony’s head, and sugary lemonade to help keep them cool during the worst of the summer heat.

Normally Midnight would be insatiable, able to clear out the carts and stalls with hardly a thought. But not today. She grazed, almost mindlessly, but didn’t gorge as she usually would.

River didn’t have any qualms though. Hoping that, through example, she might spur Midnight back into her usual habits.

River was also a messy eater, and messier than Midnight. Forgoing even the pretence of manners or cleanliness in order to shovel more food into her gullet. Mustard smeared across her chubby cheeks, a few strands of cotton candy managed to cling to her mane, and crumbs stuck to the fur of her pudgy pigeon chest.

Popcorn, cut up watermelon, three whole pizzas, deep fried vegetables, deep fried funnel cakes, ice cream...There really was enough food to make Midnight pause, and all of it was delicious and well made. Owners and workers leaning over counters to try to see Midnight and River tackle it all.

Midnight couldn’t help it, not really. Her mind categorically matching the foodstuff to the proprietor. Making mental notes as she chewed. Even producing a notebook from River’s saddlebags to start scribbling absentmindedly, not really even aware she was doing it.

Critiquing had become second nature to her, like eating and breathing. It was all on autopilot, she didn’t realize she was even doing it until a few ponies started whispering about it.

Grumpily putting the notebook away, the two mares finished their course before managing to extricate themselves from the seating area for a proper look around.

The fair was bright and alive with colour and music, most of it garish and loud. Rides, games, stalls selling wares, came from all over Equestria to be here. Midnight could pick out a few that she was familiar with from her travels: jewelry, clothes, pottery, antiques. A vast, wide array that was worth the look, even if it made Midnight wish for another dozen lemonades.

“Oh there’s an eating contest! Pies!” River pointed.

Midnight trundled to a slow stop. Wheezing and gasping for air, even as she shook her head. “No. Not...happening.”

“Oh come on! It’s from local fruit on a local orchard! All sorts of pies, not like what they have in Ponyville or Vanhoover!”

“No, River.” Midnight frowned, shaking her head even more. Sending her fat sloshing down her body. “I’m not...doing it.”

River pouted, rolling her eyes playfully. Even as she caught sight of what, to the untrained eye, would look like another picnic area. But what she knew was where the contest would be held. “Alright, alright, fine. Ruin my fun. How about you come sit down here, and I’ll go get us some more drinks. That beer place you liked so much is here. Nothing a cold pint can’t help with.”

“Sounds...good.” Midnight agreed, waddling her way towards the promised seating area with all the speed she could muster. Sitting on a wide bench that bowed and creaked under her weight, she was just thankful for a place to sit.

The feasting from earlier, though it couldn’t really be called a ‘feast’ for Midnight, had already bloated her stomach. The blood was rushing to the stuffed organ, making her feel slower and more sluggish than usual. She was sweating rather profusely now, from the heat and the food and the walking, making her wheeze and pant for breath even as she started to relax under the tent.

“I’ll go grab a couple other things, too. Pretty sure I saw a caramel apple that looked awesome!”

If Midnight had been paying more attention, she might have recognized the look on her friend’s face. But she was too busy catching her breath and rubbing at her churning stomach to pay River much more mind, so she missed the telltale smirk..

River ran off to find the ponies in charge of the eating contest, and managed to sign for Midnight since the town knew Midnight was with her anyway. It was no secret that Midnight’s massive size made it difficult to walk, and the judges seemed to believe River’s excuse that ‘Midnight was saving her strength for the competition.’

River did, at least, get the pints and a caramel apple for the portly mare to drink and munch on in the final half hour before the contest. Managing to slip away to disappear into the audience before the rest of the contestants arrived.

The newcomers were an array of sizes, which was why benches were provided rather than individual chairs. Only one of the other contestants was near Midnight’s size, a stallion of some renown in the eating competition world by the name of: Caramel Bolt.

He was massive, in terms of height and weight. An earth pony, he towered over most others. And might have been an intimidating figure if he weren’t so fat. He sported a spherical face, a spare tire where his neck should have been, a stomach that hung past his knees, and a rump bigger than most fully grown mares. His caramel coloured mane and tail, complimented by a dark red coat.

The others were unimportant, to Midnight at least. But with Caramel’s arrival, Midnight knew she’d been had. As the last of the newcomers got settled, and the curtain rose, Midnight found her fat friend and shot her a death glare.

River waved, her leg fat rippling with the motion and dimples marring her chipmunk-like cheeks. Clearly enjoying the show already as the announcer, sadly indistinct because of the lack of proper audio equipment, spoke over the chattering crowd.

A group of kindly old mares rolled carts filled with pies, stacking ten blueberry pies in front of each contestant.

Midnight strained to hear, ears twitching.

“-nd gentlecolts! The All-Fruit Orchard has produced some of their best pies in the last decade, and they’ve gratefully offered them up for these fine contestants here! This is the speed round, and after that we have endurance. The last pony standing, provided they eat these initial ten pies, wins!”

It was indistinct again, but whatever the announcer said had the crowd in an uproar. And what was clear was the starting whistle.

So, given this crazy situation that she didn’t sign up for, Midnight did what Midnight did best:eating.

She all but dove into the first pie. Forgoing the provided utensils entirely to sink muzzle deep into the delectable dessert.

After the first pie was demolished, all Midnight could think about was the next. And the next. Hardly stopping to breathe much less do anything else, except for the occasional drink of water where the crust gummed in her mouth too much. For her, this was...perfunctory. Awakening a partially dormant part of her for the first time in months.

It was like another day, nothing special. But the pies were good, and that helped. Even with the sticky filling clinging to her coat and staining her cheeks purple, and crumbs sticking to her muzzle.

Blueberry was replaced with lemon meringue, and the meringue clung to Midnight’s muzzle far more than the blueberry did. It was tart and not too sweet, just how she liked it.

Peach-blackberry was next. The flavours of the sweet and tart fruit mixed well, and Midnight couldn’t help but groan as she easily ate the ten pies. Not noticing that all the other competitors except for Caramel had dropped out. Leaving the two piggy ponies by themselves as they continued to eat.

The fourth round was ginger plum. A unique set of flavourings to be sure, one to be noted down and thought about later.

When Caramel stopped one pie short of the ten, Midnight paused as well. Chewing at the buttery crust as she realized that the excited chattering of the crowd had mostly died down. Revealing awe, disgust, curiosity, and more.

Now she was thinking about it, sound flooded back. Catching whispers and half murmured conversations.

“Sweet Celestia, look at her go! Is she breathing?”

“I think she’s visibly gaining weight with every mouthful!”

“I’ve had that pie, it was so rich I couldn’t have more than a small slice-”

Pulling away, ears twitching back, Midnight swallowed the current mouthful of pie. Heart dropping somewhere into the bedrock below the town. Even as Caramel, seeing a chance, managed to find the strength to start eating again.

Seeing that the competitors had so few pies left, the next course was brought and set up for them to eat, even though the mares hesitated slightly in front of Midnight as she looked ready to pull away.

“Wait is she dropping out?”

“She was doing so well, I’ve never seen a pony even manage three rounds before!”

“-except for Caramel, he’s awesome, but never a newcomer!”

Midnight’s heart lifted, and she finished the last of the ginger plum pie with hardly a thought. Grinning widely as her stomach roared for more. She raised her head to look out across the crowd when she reached for the next pie. Snorting and oinking for their pleasure before diving right back into it.

Caramel just couldn’t keep up, though he stayed seated at the table beside her. Sipping at water, rubbing at his distended gut, he looked thoroughly chuffed at what had happened. Awe, and respect, building as Midnight ate her way through pecan pie, peanut butter pie, peach cream tarts, grilled citrus pie, and finally a heavy rhubarb cream tart.

She won. Outclassing Caramel by four rounds and beating even the best time on the speed round. Her stomach was hard and bloated, grazing the ground as River helped pull her to her hooves so they could make it home.

As the sun sunk towards the western horizon, the pair chatted eagerly about food as River helped push Midnight along. Literally, as Midnight’s overstuffed stomach was hard for the obese mare to reach around to walk, much less move without assistance.

Her stomach churned underneath her, making all the more noise as her legs pushed against it when she moved. At the start of the day, it had brushed her legs when she waddled, but now her stomach was bulging against them. Making her belch with the increased pressure, making their journey take all the longer It also made it harder for her to walk. And more painful, but it was a good kind of pain. One Midnight was familiar with. One that spelled victory, not that anypony else had much of a chance with her around.

By the time they made it back to River’s house, the sun was sinking over the horizon, and a cool breeze helped cool them down as Midnight inched down the road.

Exhausted, and very much out of shape, the pair stopped when they saw an unfamiliar silhouette waiting for them outside the house. The pair of fat mares panting for breath, watching warily as the guard (for he was clearly a guard) approached.

He was handsome, with a clear love of food in spite of the fitness requirements for the job. A bat pony as well, with a purplish grey coat and a mane that Midnight couldn’t quite see considering the dim light.

He half bowed, “Forgive me for intruding upon your evening, but Princess Luna has been impressed within Miss Midnight’s integrity and dedication to remonstrations in her recent court proceedings. As a reward, her Highnesshas invited Miss Midnight for the Equestria Baking Contest. You would serve as this year’s celebrity judge, alongside the princesses.” He produced an invitation from somewhere, holding it out for Midnight to take.

Midnight took it, letting River read over her shoulder. The pair shared a look, River nudged Midnight’s flabby shoulder, and Midnight beamed.

“I’m happy...to accept!” Grinning wildly.

“I’m very pleased to hear that ma’am. It will include a tour of the city’s finest establishments, accomodations in the castle, and access to the castle kitchens.”

“I’ll get your bag ready. Maybe this hunk will get you loaded up into a sky carriage.” River shot Midnight a wink before disappearing into the house.

“I will assist you should you need the help.”

“I need the help.” Midnight burped, groaning at it. “Push my stomach, please. Anyway, what’s your name?”

“Lieutenant Gladiolus, ma’am.” Gladiolus rounded Midnight’s side, and started pushing Midnight’s stomach for her. Much like River had been doing.

“Good to meet you.” Midnight panted, crawling across the ground towards where she thought she could see the glint of a carriage.

Gladiolus stayed quiet after that, leaving the two to labour in companionable silence until they’d gotten her impressive bulk into the extra wide, extra reinforced carriage so they could get their journey underway.