Cozy Zurg's Adventures!

Chapters

The (Not So Great) Beginning
Good And Bad
Friendship Class?
Evil Rules and Evil Rules!
Know Your Role; Evil Never Sleeps!
Zurgy Town, Zurgy Town!
It's Evil. . .right?
A Wave Of Evil. . .Evil, Evil
What Kind Of Business Do We Run Here?!
A Dragon-On
A Fool To Evil
A Few Laps More

The (Not So Great) Beginning

Author's Note

Welcome, welcome. Another story and you know what that means. Another story. Just the chapter to start it off. It was a bit meh thinking of how I wanted to start it off but expect shenanigans after this. :rainbowlaugh: But hope you guys enjoy.

The (Not So Great) Beginning

''Curse you, Buzz Lightyear!~'' Emperor Zurg had to have echoed those very words so many times that it became the norm. Anything less was. . .not right. Every single time a carefully thought out plan was created by him (and enacted by his subordinates), it failed at the hands of the dread Star Command, and even more so; Buzz Lightyear. When would it end? When would his plans finally see fruition and not be literally blown up right back into his face? Even just to have the sweet taste of victory, and to hold it would be liquid gold in his hands.

''Sir, the ship's stabilizers took a hit during that last attack! We should turn back while we still have the opportunity to do so!'' Emperor Zurg dragged a hand across his face in annoyance, wanting nothing more than to punt this useless servant halfway across the system. When he asked for loyal, competent minions who would do his every bidding, he expected results.

He would have to look back over his hiring process when this was all over.

“Nonsense! These invaders have made it a point to attack the glorious Zurg Empire, and they will pay dearly for it! Hahahaha! Especially Buzz Lightyear,” Emperor Zurg cackled, beginning to revel in his thoughts of crushing the galactic hero underneath the foot of his galactic empire. “Cut power to the rear shields and redirect to all weapons systems!”

“But sir,” a minion retorted, nervously approached his master, hoping to not invoke his wrath. “Won’t we be left defenseless from behind?”

ZAP!

“I do not pay you to think past what your designated task is!” Emperor Zurg blasted the poor staff member off the bridge of the ship as he landed in between the navigation console and the galactic radio station.

“B-But sir, I haven’t gotten paid yet,” the tiny green alien groaned, his skin smoking and resembling burnt toast.

“Still in-processing, dolt! You should have read the orientation booklet when you were brought on!” Zurg exclaimed, shaking his head. “And I also fail to recall why you are questioning my business practices!”

Some of the other loyal followers also had the same question along with another that also took a bit of precedence; how was the intrepid dark lord able to pay his workers, if he was a conquered of worlds?

“We must not allow this chance to elude us! Oh, how I cannot wait to see the look on Buzz Lightyear’s face when I destroy all that he has worked to protect! Hahahahahhahaha!” Zurg began to go off on a tangent about his mortal enemy. For far too long has he had yet to be afforded his moment of glory, his 15 minutes, and his everlasting dream of ruling the galaxy and beyond!

“Sir, permission to speak freely?” Zurg quirked a brow at another servant who grew so boldly to speak.

“You being shot out of the nearest airlock depends on if you talk about the eternal hatred that I hold for Buzz Lightyear and Star Command,” Zurg said, folded his slender arms and viewing the vast cosmos ahead, watching the fleeing ship evade the blaster fire from his own flagship. ''Speak.''

“. . .I amend my statement.”

Wishing he would not impart too much of his wrath upon these simpletons for fear of damaging his own craft was a difficult task. Finding good help was always such a nuisance nowadays, but with the prospect of offering health and dental insurance to hopefully rope in more candidates seemed like a good idea at the time, but numbers began to dwindle, and change of career choices made for a short offboarding and longer new hire process.

The battle seemed to be one-sided for the moment, the initial attack came without warning. Even the most sophisticated sensors that were used in Planet Z to detect any and all threats were not working, and that in itself made the warlord question many things. The bombardment came more readily planned out than before, and as quickly as they came, they left. Through the sheer will and tenacity that he, himself possessed often proved integral to his conquests of varying planets and their citizens.

All Emperor Zurg wanted out of life was to be known throughout the galaxy as the most vicious warlord who struck fear into the hearts of every single citizen on every planet in every single galaxy. The name Zurg would be synonymous with fear.

''Do not relent in your attack! We have them right where we want them!'' Emperor Zurg exclaimed, clutching on to the rails with a fiery passion that he knew could not be matched by any other villain. ''Buzz Lightyear will pay dearly for his transgressions!''

The battle raged on, the ship's hull barely being affected by the ship that seemed intent on running with its tail between its proverbial legs. The vast reach of space never failed to be a twinge of curiosity to the dark lord as he noted how in a few moments there was a vast emptiness, only to be accompanied by a sea of debris from past interstellar battles and the remnant of asteroids that probably had a hand in causing the damage to the ships around. The Spaceyard, Zurg sighed, noting the beauty of the destruction.

''Sir, they appear to be escaping into The Spaceyard, we should terminate our pursuit!''

''Are you out of your very small mind?!'' Zurg asked, slamming his hands on the railing. He had allowed this to pass one too many times, and the looming taunt of attacking his home base would not get unnoticed. ''We possess the advantage here; I didn't enslave the lot of you and turn you into workers so you could bicker about pointless ideas!''

The much smaller ship managed to navigate its way through the lingering pile of ships and asteroids, making the maneuvers resemble a dance of sorts, causing Emperor Zurg to growl and nearly keel over in anger. First, he is attacked, and now these. . .invaders choose to cut and run as a scared animal would?

"Move forward, I will not allow this disrespect to continue any further!'' Emperor began to pay limited attention to the sound of space rock contacting his ship. The only thing that did have any semblance of meaning to him would capture Buzz Lightyear, uproot all of the goodie-goodie two shoes of the galaxy, and put his eternal enemy in a-

''Oh, wait. . .we're not rated for that kind of talk.'' Emperor Zurg lightly chuckled to himself, almost letting a certain word slip out of his mouth that would certainly represent his current anger. He would have to attend to that matter behind a closed door. Hearing the blaring of the sensors above his head, Zurg wanted nothing more than to quell that sound so he could be allowed to think more about the various ways he would make this galaxy in his image. ''Why is that alarm sounding?''

''Statement: sir, the ship has detected a nearby anomaly.'' Zurg watched a lanky armored robot who looked at a few of the starboard sensors that suddenly pinged the further in the ship got, harmless deflecting any major asteroid or stray ship parts by the forward shields.

''And what is that?'' Zurg gently rapped his fingers as he spied the ship in from getting further away.

''Response: it appears to be a black hole,'' the robot brought up the projection on the screen for Zurg to view for himself. ''Solution: the ship's course should be corrected to avoid said anomaly.''

''Are you telling me, the great Emperor Zurg, to flee?!'' Zurg began to shuffle down to the robot in question, the subtle glow of its red optics trailing its master movements all the way until he stopped just before him, the look of delayed anger and narrowed eyes doing nothing to faze his processors. ''We will not flee when we-'' Zurg was halted from what he attempted to say due to a strong jerk tearing him from the subordinate he was inches away from engaging when he nearly flew over to the other side of the ship, if not for him activating his rockets at the last moment. A deeper scowl wormed its way onto his face. ''What is it this time?!''

One moment, the ship had the sights of the fleeing Star Command ship in its sights, and the next vast void of space was the only thing they could see. A few more of the sensors began to blare and lights started flashing, alerting the rest of the crew of what was pretty much known to all except the galactic lord. There was an air in the ship that suddenly seemed to creep in. The rage in his heart was beginning to swell with every growing second.

What. Was. Happening?

''Pull away!'' Emperor Zurg commanded, looking to see his prized ship be nearly torn asunder. ''Full power to the thrusters! Immediately!'' the ship was violently pulled into the abyss, rocking back and forth as the force took hold of those not strapped in as they were flung every which way. Pieces of the ship violently began to either crumble and smash together.

''Sir, we are unable to! We've directed too much power across the ship's systems!'' Zurg merely wanted to faceplant on the deck. His mortal enemy, his insistent pain in his neck, and his revenge was getting away from him! What would Nana Zurg think? Could this get any worse? ''The ship's life support, thrusters, and navigation are failing!''

''What?! How are we surviving this long?'' Zurg wondered, the idea of being anywhere remotely close to a black hole making him scratch his head in confusion. If they managed to make it this long, what would befall him and his servants? Would they end up in a distant quadrant of the galaxy? Would the ship still be space-worthy? And would he be able to wrap his hands around Buzz Lightyear and hurl him into the nearest dying star?

Possibly not, at this rate.

''TOTAL DESTRUCTION IN T-MINUS 10 SECONDS!

''This will not staaaaaannnnd!~''

He had no idea of how much time passed. Everything seemed to be happening very quickly, but it only served to further anger him further. His head began to swim with thoughts of uncertainty. Something pulled at his mind, and his head. He fought to stand himself up, every movement sending waves of pain throughout his body as he slowly rose to find himself in a clearing.

''And where is my crew? And more importantly; my ship?'' Zurg asked himself, looking around the vast green landscape, noting how. . .colorul it looked. Too much light, clean air, and what did everything feel happy?! ''This has to be to some kind of a sick joke.'' Zurg closed his eyes and anger began to fume in his mind.

The pain he felt in his body slowly began to wane; what was this world? Zurg heard footsteps approach him. ''Oh, my goodness; who could this possibly be? If any of you managed to survive, I demand a situation report and-what in the name of all that is sacred are you supposed to be?'' Zurg laid his eyes on a sight that would make him stop in his tracks.

A pink and blue pony?

''Golly, who. . .and what are you? Do. . .you want to be friends?''

Good And Bad

Author's Note

Welcome back, guys. Let’s delve into the madness. And possible snuggles. Enjoy.

“Good planning without good working is nothing.”

-Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Good And Bad

Emperor Zurg felt. . .confused.

This small, insignificant creature had the nerve to approach him without any inkling of who he was. He would fix that before long. It continued to ask such things about him as if they were of the same status. It never relented with its questions.

''How tall are you? Do you know how far is your home is from here? What kind of things do you eat? Do you-''

''-Shut up!'' Zurg shouted to the small pony, clutching his hands over his head as he stopped walking to try and talk some sense into this little pony who seemed very on getting any information out of him that she could think of. ''Why do you follow me, strange. . .thing?''

''My name's Cozy Glow, I already told you that for the 3rd time, but what's your name?'' Cozy asked, flying up to Zurg's head level as she looked very much interested, and a bit scared as well.

Zurg turned his head to Cozy Glow, frowning. He came awfully close to just punting her halfway across this planet if she didn't stop. But, another part just barely convinced him to let her continue talking; the chance for valuable information about the natives of this world could prove just the edge he would need to conquer it. A thought came to him. If he humored her for the moment, he would get a massive return on investment. ''I am known throughout the cosmos as Emperor Zurg, The Conquerer of Worlds, The Great Destroyer, and The King of Fear.''

Cozy quirked a brow and laughed a bit. ''That name sounds funny; but what are you supposed to be? You're no pony.''

''But, of course,'' Zurg replied snootily, shaking his head at her ignorance. Why be anything lesser than the pinnacle of all species in the known world? ''I do try my best to maintain my aura; it is key to being a warlord. Being a. . .'pony' is beneath me.''

''Well, why are you here? Making friends?'' Cozy observed alongside Zurg as he looked upon a small town a bit of a distance away based on the side of a mountain. Something about it made Zurg wonder and reach his hand out, nothing happening for the moment without nothing occurring. Cozy landed on her haunches and looked on for the moment as Zurg concentrated. ''What are you doing?''

''Gathering information. Tell me,'' Zurg folded his arms once again. ''That wouldn't happen to be the capital of this nation, would it?'' Zurg looked to see Cozy Glow nod.

''That's Canterlot, why?'' Cozy looked to see Zurg's eyes light up in glee, a low chuckle escaping his throat.

''So I know what buildings to blow up first, should it annoy me. My plan for this world will not take long if the rest of your species are anything like you.'' Zurg said, using his wrist communicator to try and locate his ship, or the lack thereof. ''And I can tell that you must be of a similar mind for you to tell me something so important right away,'' Zurg looked to see Cozy Glow blush a bit at the statement, only confirming what he knew to be true.

“Well, you seem nice, and my teacher said that one of the lessons I should try and learn is to understand others!''

''Your teacher?'' Zurg asked, frowning a bit at her bright and bubbly personality. It reminded him of Buzz Lightyear's vigilant attitude in saving the galaxy he attempted to take over numerous times; it irked him to no end. Why did everything she said sounded like physical rainbows?

''Twilight Sparkle, The Princess of Friendship,'' Cozy Glow said, smiling at Zurg who rapped his fingers against his forearm. ''I'm a student at her Friendship School,'' Zurg dried heaved as she spoke. ''Was it something I said?''

''Everything you just said would earn you the full extent of my wrath, keyword being would, if the circumstances were different. . .and you surely must be joking? School of Friendship?'' Zurg asked, the meaning of the word seeming as foreign to him as the idea of having a minion without a flamethrower attachment.

''It's all the rage in Ponyville,'' Cozy Glow pointed as she turned around, making Zurg look at the small town in the distance that seemed to be a small gem throughout the quiet clearing. Cozy then let her ears flop to her sides as she traced a hoof in the dirt. ''But, I'm not very good at being a friend or doing my homework.''

Zurg shuffled forward, instinctively reaching a hand towards the pony on the ground as a part of his mind wanted to throttle her for even assuming she could be within 500 feet of him without his permission. He resisted, but only just. ''I don't care for your Friendship School or this accursed homework of which you speak. What I do care about is making this world and everything in it mine!'' Zurg's red eyes glowed a brighter shade of red than normal as Cozy looked at him chuckling manically for a second before composing himself. ''But first, I need to find my ship and turn that telemetry bot into a nuclear toaster; good riddance.'' Zurg activated his rockets and hovered away.

Cozy Glow looked to the skies, seeing the caped being take off before shaking off her wonder of how quickly he was able to take off before following after him. ''Wait for me, Mr. Zurg!''

Zurg flew the skies, paying little attention to the greenery of the planet and paying more attention to his wrist communicator which barely managed to alert of him of the location of his ship. A more pressing question that seated itself in Zurg's mind was how was he so far from his own vessel? And why did that. . .thing sound familiar to him?

''Hmmph. I have never witnessed a creature of that make before, especially one so primitive.'' Zurg said to himself. It did, however, remind him of The Rhizomians that he controlled with The Uni-Mind that one time. ''Ahhh, good times; good times. But back to the present moment. That creature was the worst. Friendship; bah! Oh, the non-existent thought of it. Why have friends when you can have brainless and or mindless followers to do your bidding without having to lift a finger? That's where the real money is.''

Zurg flew for a bit longer, passing over some partially thicker vegetation and trees than the majority, his sensors picking up a structure as he passed over it. Huh, a castle. Shame, it looked to be made of a rather decent design, only to be destroyed. ''The life on this planet is certainly too bright for my taste; definitely need more dark and dismal colors to bring the true beauty out; perhaps a lava pool here or there, a giant monster to defend my new base when it's constructed, and with flamethrowers, can't forget the-''

''-Hey, Mr. Zurg!' Cozy Glow exclaimed, appearing right in front of the warlord as she flew backward in front of him.

''AAAH!'' Zurg screamed as his rocket's boosters activating out for a second caught him off guard. ''Get off, you infernal creature!'' Zurg couldn't see as the Cozy latched onto his head at the last second, her own wings locking up from the sudden change in speed.

''I-I can't! I'm too scared!'' Cozy clutched her eyes shut and gripped tighter, almost squishing Zurg's head with her body.

''Rah!' Zurg used his laser eyes to blast her off of him, the bright flash of light blinding her as she screamed and plummeted down to the ground. ''Ah, much better. Now I can continue-''

''-Mr. Zurg, heeeelp!'' Cozy pleaded, hoping her shouts did not go unnoticed by Zurg, who continued to fly the further he got, but slowly. . .something happened. Something unexpected. It was delayed at first as he stopped for the moment to look upon the filly, but he flew after her, though with a less than steller expression on his face the entire time. The ground came closer and closer with every second, her wings locked up and refused to come back out, and the rush of air against her face made her eyes shut so she wouldn't have to see her untimely demise.

But that day was not today.

''Heeeeel-Ooof!'' Cozy was grabbed her rear leg, the force jerking down hard before she stopped. Her leg began to ache, and the cold grip that Zurg held on her was slowly released as she saw him looking at her expectantly to lower herself down at the height of a few inches of the ground. ''Hehe. Sorry. But. . .why did you save me?'' Zurg slowly hovered down to the ground, the pair landing on a raised slab of stone that flanked the back of the old castle surrounded by thick vines and trees with thick foliage. The air went quiet as Zurg looked at her, watching, observing.

''. . .I'm sorry?'' Cozy nervously said, Zurg folding his arms again as he bent down to her level, watching her more intently. ''M-Mr. Zurg?''

Zurg huffed, shaking his head and flicking her forehead with a finger, eliciting a yelp of pain from her. ''It is Emperor, and the only reason I saved you, small pony, was to further my own needs.''

''What do you mean?''

''What I am telling you is that you claim to require assistance with this 'homework' of yours,'' Zurg said as Cozy looked more and more confused as the talk went on.

''Yea, and?''

''I seem to recall a few of my subordinates that may be. . .versed in the activity, you claim to need help in.''

''They know about friendship?!'' Cozy asked, her interest peaking a bit suddenly. Zurg cracked a very small smile at that comment.

''Something along those lines, yes. But, in exchange, you will be my ambassador of this world and its secrets as payment.''

Cozy tilted her head as she thought a bit about what he said prior about 'ruling the world.' Would this make her a bad pony? ''Didn't you say you wanted to take over the world?'' Zurg tensed a bit at what she said. Drat, she was catching on, he would have to play the situation off by ear if he wanted to succeed in taking over this world with the least amount of effort put in.

''No, no. You see; where I come from, we say 'take over the world' as a saying. It's used when there are those who care so much about the world that we want to do all we can in our power to make it. . .better,'' Zurg fought to make the statement make the most sense.

''Oh, well that makes sense, I guess. But are you sure you should be doing that right away when you just got here?''

''And this coming from the little, pink pony who told a random stranger their nation's capital as common knowledge?'' Zurg asked, watching her movements as she sat down and tapped a hoof against her chin in contemplation.

''That doesn't sound like a compelling question for this argument.''

Zurg facepalmed. ''Did you understand even half of what you just said?'' Cozy Glow blushed again as she looked away. Clapping his hands together and standing up, Zurg paid a watchful eye to the castle in his view, a voice of some manner calling out to him, but also not calling out. It was more of a feeling. He nodded to himself after a moment more. ''That settles it; you are hereby inducted into the Evil Zurg Empire; the pay is competitive, holidays off, and paid time off after 1 year, and you even get assigned your free uniform. Any questions? It seems you have one.'' Cozy looked to ask something but refrained from doing so until he brought it up.

''D-Do this make us friends?''

Zurg hummed to himself; a friend? An evil warlord, the like this world had yet to witness; having a friend? It seemed so. . .strange to him. ''Pending, but. . .we shall give it a test try,” Zurg said as Cozy hopped up, her wings unfurling and zooming to latch back onto his head, though not as tight as before. ''Unhand me!''

''Thank you, thank you, thank you! I won't let you down!''

Friendship Class?

Author's Note

Back again with another chapter. Let us delve more into the evil and business practices and evil business practices of our beloved Emperor Zurg. How will Cozy Glow adjust to the learning curve?

Go on, read.

I can hire one-half of the working class to kill the other half.

-Jack Gould.

Friendship Class?

Cozy Glow was excited for today.

“And remember to do your homework over the weekend! You need to help one friend with something and tell a short story about it on Monday!” Twilight announced to her students, who she gathered in a assembly. The weekend was here, and every creature wanted nothing more than to relax, play with their friends or do whatever else they wanted once they got out of school.

Cozy, however, was more excited because she would be to see Mr. Zurg today. She already took care of the long process he told her about when it came to paperwork, which she needed him to point out a few things that she herself didn’t understand, and then get measures for her uniform.

Being part of The Zurg Empire sounded fun.

“And dismissed! Cozy Glow, can you stay after for a few minutes?” Twilight asked as the other students managed to scramble away and out the door.

Oh, drat.

“What did you want to talk about, Headmare Twilight?” Cozy asked as she was led into her office. She was gestured to have a seat as Twilight took hers. Was she in trouble? She hasn’t done anything wrong! Or at least, nothing she could at least think of off the top of her hoof. “Did I do something bad?”

Twilight shook her head no and giggled. She had a feeling Cozy would ask that, especially since she tried and lied to her about her friendship homework to get the CMC in because she tried to be a good friend. This was a much better conversation they would have. “No, Cozy. I just wanted to tell you how proud of you, and the growth you’ve made in these last few days, I don’t know what it is, but keep it up.”

Oh, it was that. Cozy hadn’t noticed she made a change, so what was she talking about? “I’m a little confused; what did I do to change?” Twilight seemed to shake her head and walk over to her student, laying a comforting hoof on her shoulder as Cozy pouted in mock disagreement.

“Oftentimes, you don’t see it for yourself until some pony points it out for you, but you have changed, Cozy,” Twilight used her magic to show her student a few of the papers from some of the classes she was in to show her grades. “Look at this; B’s or B+, across the board. That’s leagues better than the D average you were pulling.”

Cozy blushed a bit. “It wasn’t all me; I had a few friends help me. . .” then she realized what she said. “They didn’t help me cheat! They just gave me advice, I swear.”

“I know, your teachers have been telling me how much more talkative you are in class; the problems you help to try and solve, and even the examples you set for your peers; if that’s not growth, I don’t know what is.” Twilight said. “I just wanted to let you to keep doing what you’re doing, is all.”

Cozy smiled, feeling the admiration as it provided her with a warm feeling. She really liked it, and liked being a good friend even more.

But now, she had something a little bit more important to tend to. “Headmare? I don’t mean to be rude, but can I go? I promised my friend I would see them right after school.”

Twilight simply backed away, and swept a hoof to the door as Cozy bolted out, a smile a mile wide on her face. Chuckling to herself as her student attempted to be faster than Rainbow Dash on a good day, Twilight looked over her student’s work, as something stood out to her. “Huh; Zurg. I wonder what kinda name is that.”

Emperor Zurg sat in the reformed remains of his captain’s chair as he looked on at the small remainder of his crew that somehow survived the black hole incident. Plenty of resources were lost, but the saving grace was the cloaking system remained perfectly fine, allowing the warlord to at least cloak his damaged vessel for as long as he would need to until he was able to secure better parts.

“What is taking that little monstrosity so long? I told her 4:00 on the dot, and it’s 4:20; being late on her first day as an evil minion is certainly a way to get on my bad side, and not the good kind of bad,”

“I’m sorry to disturb your self-monologue, sir; but we have an update from the engine room.” Zurg spied on his minions bowing with a clipboard in his grasp.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Out with it! Will my beautiful vessel ever see the skies against?” Zurg leaned over, a hopeful look on his face.

The minion hated being the one to tell their master any news that wasn’t good; and for obvious reasons. The ship, with a bit of elbow grease, duct tape and depleted uranium sheets, would run again good as new.

“Quite likely, sir. We just are in need of a few of the items on this list,” Zurg took the list as it was presented to him, skimming his eye over a few of the items. When he stopped to look at one particular item, Zurg slowly put the clipboard on his armrest, and then proceeded to slump backwards in his seat. “Sir?”

Zurg clasped his hands together, resting his elbows in his lap as he rested his chin on top. Zurg took a very lengthy inhale, nearly sucking up all of the air on the deck before he held it, shaking slightly as his body hit capacity. He wanted to so badly to-

“-Hey, Mr. Zurg! Sorry I’m-WAAAH!” Cozy flew through an open window, getting caught in his path of breath.

FWOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHH!~

“-Late. . .” Cozy Glow responded as Zurg finished blowing the longest exhale, his breath insanely hot, but not to the point where it burned her. She wondered what other cool things Mr. Zurg could.

“A fitting punishment for being late,” Zurg mused, a humorous tone to his voice as the thick blanket of hot air soon passed by his newest minion, resulting in her mane and tail to suddenly poof up like a clown. “Why were you late?”

Cozy lowered herself down to the ground, as she trailed a hoof nervously. “Well, my-“

“-Never mind,” Zurg waved a hand in front of Cozy as she stopped talking, nothing about the borish look on his face doing little to deter her statement; she would just tell him later. “We have evil things to do, and not enough time in one day to do them all. You are late in your first day of Entry Verification and Intensive Leadership training, and I will not have my process humiliated by a pony like you,” Zurg’s eyes glowed a crimson red. “So, I expect results.”

Cozy saluted. “Aye-aye, Mr. Zurg!”

“It is Emperor.”

“Emperor Zurg?” Cozy asked, wondering about something.

“Yes, what is it?” Zurg looked to see his minion chuckle. “And what is so funny? I would like a laugh, as well.”

“Isn’t that just Evil training you spelled out?” Cozy Glow asked, a sheepish look on her face as Zurg stopped what he attempted to say in retaliation before he actually listened to what she said.

. . .

“You’re fired.” Zurg shuffled away as Cozy followed him, chuckling.

“Did nopony else figure that out like I did?” Cozy laughed, flying up to her boss’s level as they descended further into the ship, narrowly ducking and squeezing through certain places that the ship keeled to during the space incident.

“Silence! We need to gauge your skill in order to build your record of service to the Zurg Empire.”

“So what exactly is our mission? We’re going to be helping the world?”

Zurg chuckled, as the pair were led into a spacious room adorned with sensory panels and a kiosk that displayed various hypothetical combat situations. “Something like that; we will be the fist that strikes down; uplifting and paving the way for a just society,” Zurg proclaimed, a hand extended to the heavens. “Under my rule, of course.” Zurg thought the last part to himself.

Cozy looked absolutely thrilled that she would be helping the world. She knew first hoof that things were not the best in some places, but with Mr. Zurg’s help, she was confident they could pull it off.

“So what is this room for?” Cozy observed Mr. Zurg going over to said kiosk and doing something to it, the panels on the floor and ceiling soon beginning to shift and change around, revealing. . .they were in Canterlot?

“Virtual simulation; I took the liberty of having a drone survey a rough sketch of your nation’s capital, so we know what to expect when we help to. . .improve it; yes, improve,” Zurg smiled cheekily when Cozy gave him a questioning glance.

“Okay!” Cozy walked forward a bit, the experience throwing her for a loop; one minute she was in Mr. Zurg’s ship, and the next; Canterlot. Strange.

“And you will also need this,” Zurg pulled her uniform out from behind him, one swift movement and the cloth was put on her as she adjusted the change. Funny; she looked like a little mini Zurg.

“Hey, Mr. Zurg; I’m you! Fear me! Raaaugh! Hahahaha!” Cozy pointed at Zurg as she hovered in the air, pointing her hoof to imaginary minions as Zurg would when he yelled, Cozy imitating Zurg, actually sounded halfway decent to the warlord if he was being honest. He frowned at the mocking action, though the results were better.

“Don’t forget to take a good breath before your big laugh; it will help you get that reverberating tone versus a gargle laugh. If you’re going to be in the School of Evil Knocks, you will do it right or not at all; understand?”

Cozy nodded and began to run through the simulation, as Zurg informed a few of his other minions to come down and keep an eye on her progress as he needed a moment to himself to conduct the first few stage of his plan for world domination. “Eat your heart out, Buzz Lightyear. This time, you won’t be here to stop me.”

“Oh, Mr. Zurg, Mr. Zurg; I forgot something!” Cozy shouted as she came back towards the warlord, his thought stopped in its tracks. He looked her down before she flew up and hugged his face.

“What did I say about huuuuggggs?!”

Star Command. . .

Buzz Lightyear and his crew had just come back from their intended gun run on Planet Z in the hope of luring Zurg to a position to where he could be captured, but that plan long backfired.

Zurg was a thorn in the side of the Galactic Alliance for quite some time, and an even bigger one for Star Command, who worked tirelessly to bring the warlord to justice.

Buzz Lightyear sat in his chair, watching the vast cosmos pass his ship by as Mira took over docking the ship back at HQ. Something. . didn’t feel right to him about what happened to Zurg.

Zurg was never one for accepting situations for what they were unless he had a hand in controlling the outcome. And just like that; he was gone from this galaxy, as far as they were able to discern.

“Sir, are you ok? You look a bit down in the dumps; we took care of Zurg; well hopefully,” Mira commented, noticing the lack of quiet her leader had since Zurg’s ship was plunged into the black hole.

“That’s just the thing, Mira. We actually don’t know that for sure. It would be nice to think that, but I would much rather prefer to bring Zurg in and have him answer for his crime.” Buzz said to himself, attempting to formulate an idea of where the galactic headache could have gone.

And more importantly; the report they would have to give their report to higher.

“Just you wait, Zurg,” Buzz thought to himself. “No matter where you are, I will find you and bring you in, if it takes everything out of me.”

Evil Rules and Evil Rules!

Author's Note

Back with the madness, and that can only mean one thing; buildup to the snuggles.

And evil, can’t forget the evil. Enjoy.

”Why Make Trillions, When We Can Make...Billions?"

-Dr. Evil.

Evil Rules and Evil Rules!

“Faster, faster!” Zurg commanded, hovering in the air as he watched his minion complete another lap around the track, wanting to test her endurance and gauge her overall speed. “I have witnessed a sloth moving faster than you, and they’re the slowest things on the planet!”

Cozy Glow panted and pushed her wings even further, zooming down the line as a pink and blue blur. When Mr. Zurg said he would help get her in shape, she didn’t know he meant business like this. “Huwah! B-But Mr. Zurg!” Cozy shouted in exasperation, her tongue lolling out her mouth.

“Emperor.” Zurg’s glowed a brighter shade of red. “And speak.”

Cozy Glow rounded the last bend as her body felt as if it was literally on fire. The goal was within reach, tempting, waiting. One let grunt and another quick flutter of her wings shot her forward, the feeling of joy as her hooves tore the thin finish line as she unceremoniously flopped to the ground in a pool of sweat. “Ha! Ha! Ha! Water. . .please!”

“Oh, such a drama queen,” Zurg waved his hand about as a nearby drone came over to the evil pony in training, settling for pouring a bit of the water in her mouth until she signaled to stop. A chirp of curiosity came before she fanned her hooves towards herself, the robot settling to just dump the remaining contents on her and fly away.

“Thank you. . .” Cozy commented, catching her breath. “How was that, Mr. Zurg?”

Zurg touched back down, looking over the clock and running the numbers through the database of all his minions he had complete their entry physical, and was frankly not surprised. He expected a certain level of failure, but this degree was a bit different. “Admirable, if nothing. You haven’t gotten the best time, but also not the worst. That being said, there is room for improvement,” Zurg folded his arms behind his back as he shuffled.

Cozy looked up at her friend walking away as she thought about what she heard. Room for improvement? So that means?

She did good, but could do better! She could get as strong as she would need to if it meant helping Equestria. Cozy liked that idea. “I can’t wait to tell me friends about this!”

Zurg stopped just shy of the door, hearing what his newest addition just said. Anymore of these. . .creatures knowing that their doom is just underneath their noses would be, admittedly, more bad than good. He would have to set her straight. “You are to tell none of what you have seen or done here!”

Cozy tilted her head, blinking some of the water in her eyes away. “But why? Aren’t we saving the world? Shouldn’t everpony know so we can have more help?” Mr. Zurg had looked worried for a moment. Was he nervous that nopony would come to their aid? That his help wouldn’t be enough?

Zurg had to, once again think of something that would explain the situation to the small creature; any complications in agenda would result in setback, and Emperor Zurg had enough setbacks dealing with Star Command. Hmm, what could he say to a small child of a seemingly impressionable species that will drive his point of world conquest disguised as subpar fact?

Ah, he found it.

“Well, yes; that is our mission, but you also must think about the long term effects of what you would want to happen; one cannot be careless,” Zurg said, clutching his hand as his heart began to burn with evil passion. “We must be the best at we what do, and must only do it when fully capable, otherwise those who will come to depend on us when we reveal ourselves can rest assured-“ Zurg took a dramatic pause, the lighting in the room all extinguished except for on him and Cozy. “We must be a force truly evil!”

Cozy watched in amazement as Mr. Zurg gave a resounding speech, his words seemingly reaching out throughout the entire ship as more of his minions came to watch, overcome with emotion. Cozy took a seat and soaked in the motivation.

“We shall be the force that frees the world from itself, we shall be engraving the words of tomorrow, today! Our mission is one most noble, and not one that can undertaken without a carefully thought about plan with the slightest attention to detail!” Zurg roared, sweeping his arms out in front of him as if he was on stage, his words creating a story for the ages. “No longer, matters that do not line up with the truest goal will be rejected! All shall be treated equally! We shall become the new order of this world, and we will be the motivation for those to come and follow in our footsteps!”

A brilliant symphony of sound broke out, ranging from claps of joy to shouts of happiness, and the tears of emotion by a speech this profound. Cozy shed a tear or two as Mr. Zurg extended his hand to her, letting her into the small platform as she looked up at him, the features of his face unmoving until he spoke. “Now, do you see why we wait? Now do you see what waiting and planning can really do, and can you really see the bigger picture that I am attempting to paint?”

Cozy thought she understood at first, really she did. But that speech that was just given by Mr. Zurg just fortified her belief, and what she wanted to personally do to help the world. It probably would appear to be backwards thinking to most, but being evil. . .is actually being good.

And being good is never not that.

“Yes, Mr. Zurg; I see it now! I know, but what thing are we gonna do first when we reveal ourselves?”

Zurg hummed in contentment, knowing he broke a ways through into that mind of hers, hoping it would be all the more easier to fully turn her to the side of evil. “I suppose gathering information about the strongest powers, their accounts of battle, rule and personal convictions, if you can secure those,” Cozy looked at Zurg when it appeared she didn’t understand. “This way we can learn from their mistakes and possibly even improve on things that they may failed at.”

Cozy nodded furiously, that made complete and total sense. She never would have thought of something like that, even with help. Cozy couldn’t wait to introduce Zurg to the world, everypony would love him, maybe Princess Celestia and Luna even more; they could talk strategy, and even be partners. But an idea she did have that would help speed up their efforts was almost impossible not to think of. “I can ask Headmare Twilight for books! She has plenty of them!”

“Good, good!” Zurg nodded himself, almost bringing himself to tears with the after effects of his own speech and by the bundle of roses someone dropped down to him. “Nana Zurg would be so proud of this!” Zurg sniffled to himself. “Go now; I shall grant you a week, return here when you have procured the necessary materials, and we shall commence phase 2.”

“What’s phase 2?” Cozy asked.

“Application of the knowledge we gain. I have sent for the the materials that I need to get our ship up and running again, which should also be within a week of completing your own mission, is that understood?” Zurg’s expectations for this one was, considering all possible reasons, a tad higher than the average, but there could be a way for failure.

“Aye-Aye, Mr. Zurg!” Cozy attempted to fly over and give the warlord a hug, only to be met by his hand stopping her.

“No hugs,” Zurg responded, threatening to zap her with his eyes. “You should know this by now.”

Cozy snickered, she didn’t really feel it that much, but she saw Mr. Zurg just needed a friend, and probably was scared of making one, that he maybe didn’t know how. “I’ll still try every time. We’re friends, Mr. Zurg,” Cozy flew around the warlord, intent of breaking his guard as he primed his eyes when she got close, or settled for swatting her hands away like the world’s biggest fly.

“Emperor Zurg does not make friends!”

Know Your Role; Evil Never Sleeps!

Author's Note

Back again, guys. We have evil things to do, and not enough time to do it. Let us delve into the madness.

''Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”

-Anthony Burgess.

Know Your Role; Evil Never Sleeps!

Cozy Glow, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle walked down the dirt road to head to Sweet Apple Acres, wanting to pick up Apple Bloom so they could hang out for the day. Her time training with Emperor Zurg was certainly different than anything she could think of when being part of an organization. The lesson and simulations that were showed certainly helped her to open her mind to want to change to the world of Equestria.

''Are you sure you can't tell us about this new friend of yours? They sound fun!'' Sweetie Belle wondered how Cozy's new friend was. Whoever it was, they certainly seemed to make Cozy happier than when she was being friends with the CMC. Sweetie wanted to help to change the world, too. Scootalooo and Apple Bloom, as well. ''That outfit you got looks pretty snazzy.''

''Golly, it's not all that,'' Cozy chuckled as they wanted down the road, tugging at her collar a bit as the heat made her sweat a bit. She should have taken it off, but it was so comfortable and it was almost unnoticeable to when she wore it, so the matter was not that large. ''But the things we do are really tough, but I know it can help us with making Equestria better.''

''When can we meet them? We wanna help too, you know,'' Scootaloo agreed, also wanting to know more about Cozy's friend and more about the mission that she had to do. Apple Bloom would love to be a part of this, and maybe they could gather even more ponies to help spread the word.

Cozy hummed to herself and thought about when exactly her friends and the rest of Equestria could meet Mr. Zurg, and help his mission to change the world. Princess Celestia and Luna would surely be open to helping Mr. Zurg tell the world about his mission and offering anything that would be needed to make the name of The Zurg Empire known. ''Hopefully not too long, but you guys will be the first ponies I tell besides Princess Twilight.''

The trio walked over to the CMC's treehouse, scaling the ramp and sighing in relief as a small wave of cold air blew past, carrying scraps of leaves and cooling their bodies down. Sweetie knocked three times, waiting for the door to open as Cozy suddenly felt a buzz in her ear, shaking her head as a low whine sounded in the background of the tranquil quiet.

''Hey, guys!'' Apple Bloom exclaimed, welcoming the group in. ''What's with the new getup, Cozy?''

''That's what we keep asking her, but she won't say much about it,'' Scootaloo groaned, smiling. ''We just know her plan involves a new friend that helps change the way things happen in Equestria.''

Apple Bloom quirked her head and noting the wording of what her friend said? Changing Equestria? Could that help lead them to more future Crusaders so they could help those ponies find their Cutie Marks? ''What you been doing to help do that?'' Apple Bloom noticed Cozy take a few books out of her saddlebags that showed the history of different lands, diagrams of inventions, varying interpretation of medicine, business tactics, and formulas for. . .root beer?

''We're gathering different things that can help our mission,'' Cozy said, noting that she had plenty of more books that she had to get between now and next week, and she would have to pay another trip to Mr. Zurg. ''He says that proper preparation prevents. . .prevents something like that, I think.''

''Why root beer?'' Sweetie Belle asked.

''He really likes drinking it.'' Cozy simply replied, putting the items back in her bag, huffing when the weight settled on her back again. ''But he's been really really nice; a little strange sometimes, but he cares. And he can shoot beams from his eyes!''

''Beams?!'' Scootaloo asked, wondering what else this friend of hers could do. ''Can he fly as fast as Rainbow Dash?!'' Shrugging and not saying much failed to help her, but fueled her curious mind. ''We gotta meet him now!''

''Sorry, guys. He doesn't want to meet anypony right now, he wants to follow the plan he set out, but I knew it'll be worth it when you see him!'' Cozy Glow apologized that her friends couldn't meet Mr. Zurg right away.

''If he's anything like what you say, then he should be a Crusader!'' Apple Bloom joked.

Sitting down and taking the time to think about the idea of Mr. Zurg being a Crusader made her laugh for the moment. ''I don't think he can get a Cutie Mark, though.''

''Well, let's get started with today's activities!'' Apple Bloom shouted, wanting to get their game of hide and seek started.

''Question: What are you doing, sir?'' Zurg's telemetry bot asked as the warlord shuffled over to his chair, sitting down and posing with his hands in his lap, as he got back up and shuffled back to the top of the railing that sat over the bridge before going back and doing the same again, only posing in different positions.

''Trying to find the best posture for when I crush these tiny ponies under my mighty heel. It all boils down to how they will view their doom; to maximize the ebbing of hope in their eyes as the name of Emperor Zurg is known throughout this ball of dirt and wasted opportunity. Report the status of repairs.'' Emperor Zurg commanded, one of his minions zooming over to his size with a clipboard.

''Yes, your lordship. We have sent scouts into the nearby area and have excavated the necessary materials to help fix the ship, we only are in need of a few of the slabs to help reinforce the hull, and to find an ample enough power source to replace the one we have lost to power the engines; the auxiliary power for any non-engine components are unaffected.''

''And then my precious vessel will be ready to soar among the clouds so that I may begin my assault on the capital of this. . .Equestria?'' Zurg asked, the name making his skin crawl and his inner warlord flare out even more. ''Where in the name of Zurg is our newest addition? She had better not be slacking,'' Zurg noticed the minion walk over to a console and press a few buttons that resulted in a ping sounding off to Cozy Glow's communicator. A screen displayed her location relative to the location of the nearby town, Ponyville. ''Hmm, she appears to be conversing with those small group of foals she blabbers on about.''

Zurg certainly had to give credit where credit was due. This Cozy Glow. . .had passed the initial tests and simulations, and admit her sickeningly sweet attitude and small stature gave him a smidge of hope that she could grow to quite the effective minion in this small game that he had allowed her to be a temporary player in.

''The chances of her surpassing me is close to none, but I do wonder what is her true goal in following me. Friendship? HA! What has friendship gotten anyone? Advice? Growth? And let us not forget about the 'magic' of it, according to this Twilight Sparkle. Hmm. . .she could be of use for my assault on this nation's capital; being the student of this Equestria's ruler can make my takeover all the sweeter.''

''Correction: would allowing the organism known as Cozy Glow further into the ranks of your lordship's empire prove to be fatal to the mission?'' the telemetry bot asked, his processors fighting to make sense of what his lordship said, and with the lack of care that he knew should be more possibly worried about. ''Betrayal seems likely based on light observation, as well as noting the species difference.''

Emperor Zurg thought little of that. He knew that should something as that would be tantamount to immediate doom. ''Nonsense; I have more pressing matters to attend to; such as procuring the recipe for this land's root beer recipe, and to see if it holds up to my standard.''

The telemetry bot stopped for a moment, understanding the information told to him as he formulated a response. ''Correction: sir, the worst part about betrayal is. . .that it never comes from your enemies.''

Zurgy Town, Zurgy Town!

Author's Note

Welcome back, another chapter means more story.

''It's all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye, then it's just fun you can't see.''

-James Hetfield.

Zurgy Town, Zurgy Town!

Emperor Zurg's Flagship. . .

''What is our lord doing today?'' a green minion shook his head in disbelief as he and a few others witnessed Emperor Zurg perform what he called his 'daily task and rituals to start the day.'

''It's pretty much the same every day since I enlisted over three years ago,'' another walked by with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. He would need it in order to survive the next 2 and a half hours. ''One thing about Emperor Zurg is that he is persistent, consistent, and everything else in between when he does this.''

''Just seems kinda weird how he does it with that smile on his face every time; doesn't that tire your legs out?''

''Assuming he has legs.'' the minion with the mug of joe replied in a bland tone, sipping as he relished the flavor. The other fellow worker looked at him in disbelief as the thought of whether or not their lord and savior actually had legs or not came into play.

''Well, who here has asked his lordship about that?'' the other minion asked, beginning to feel his skin ripple a bit at what he witnessed, as well as the. . .form of Emperor Zurg the entire time.

''We don't get paid enough to ask those questions; just listen and execute; that's what gotten me by.''

The bridge of the ship was relatively quiet unless one were to count the sudden thrum of bass in a rhythmic pattern, followed by the high-pitched whine of what sounded like instruments sound before sounds that resembled clapping came into tow before fading. Zurg was indeed 'living it up as he's been told many times that he has done. This mandatory ritual that he developed himself for himself made short work of grogginess.

With such high acclaim (by himself, and the completely honest opinions of his workers), he dubbed it; Zurgy Time.

''Oh, how wonderful! I really must remind myself to thank myself for inventing this!'' Zurg cheered as he swung his arms back and forth as he danced without a single care in the world. This time-honored set of movements had served him well in the past, and it would more than certainly be needed for the eventual conquering of this new world. ''Work it, Zurg! Work it!'' Zurg nodded his head along to the beat of the song he was currently dancing along to, flawlessly executing every move in his personal routine.

''My lord?'' Zurg barely heard the telemetry bot call his name as he began to really get into the groove of this particular song that he had played approximately 1,012 times, this time making it the 13th, and it only seemed to get all the better every time he woke up and began to end his routine with this certain song almost every time to help set his day right for the hope that every and all of his evil plans would exactly the way that he envisioned them to go. ''We are picking up Cozy Glow's signal approaching the ship.''

''Quiet! You are disrupting my flow! I have another song in my queue before Zurgy Time is done!'' Zurg yelled back, flicking his back and forth as if pointing to different things in front of him before pumping his fist before repeating, to end with a spin and a lean to one side before going to the other. ''Whatever it is, take care of it!''

''Statement; order received; opening frontal hatch,'' the telemetry bot chirped to itself, noting the break in concentration from his master would be something that would cost him in the next 10 to 15 seconds. ''Advisement would be to take a 3 foot, and 3-inch step either left or right to avoid injury, however, advisement has not been taken into account.''

''This has to be the best one yet!'' Zurg announced as he continued began to wrap up his sacred dance, soon feeling the breeze of the outside once he began to turn around and look, only to be blindsided by a small weight knocking him over and to the floor. ''Ooof!''

''Mr. Zurg!'' Cozy Glow called out, crashing into the warlord before he managed to stabilize. Why must she always be this. . .cheery?! “Happy Tuesday!”

Groaning as he set Cozy Glow down, Zurg glared at his minion as she smiled a mile wide. “And what exactly have you come to bore me with today? How goes your mission?”

Bringing her saddlebag to the ground and digging through it, Cozy brought out some papers and scrolls that detailed her findings. It was, to Princess Twilight; very well organized and honed on the main points. “I’ve been making special drawings and notes. I think I found a way to help our mission easier,” Cozy tapped her hoof on the paper she was reading as Zurg continued to groove, albeit at a slower pace while he received the report. “Princess Twilight and her friends went on a bunch of adventures across Equestria.”

“And this will assist us, how?” Zurg asked, losing interest.

Cozy blew a raspberry, knowing Mr. Zurg would love to hear this next tidbit. “Princess Twilight and her friend had a book that detailed their adventures, what they did and who they met. If we can get that book, maybe we can go to those places and help whoever stays there to join our cause!” Cozy hovered in the air, proud of herself at finding information for the cause.

Zurg paused in his dance to go over the thought behind what was said; if visiting places that these. . .ponies went before, then they would possibly be able to employ their assistance in constructing the new Zurg Empire.

The tantalizing offer of healthcare, competitive pay, and promotion from within would capture the hearts of most. And for the ones who chose not to follow?

Emperor Zurg would make example.

“Hmmm. . .this could very well prove to be a boon to us, if we play such matters to our advantage.” Zurg said, rubbing his chin in deep thought as the song he was currently dancing to faded out. Exploring other places first would be a more tactical move to ‘gather’ outside support and conduct a final assault on the heart of this nation to seal the deal. And his newest minion was a pony, so it would make the seemingly impossible task all too easy from the inside out. “Very good; you have served the Zurg Empire well on this day.”

Cozy jumped up and down, clapping her hooves with excitement. Mr. Zurg seemed very happy with her actions, and that made her happy. The better question would be; what next?

“We now possess more knowledge than the previous day, and that will be the undoing of the entire world around us! Hahahaha!” Zurg cheered, raising a fist in triumph. The foundation was set; now it was merely time to build and frame how he saw fit. And Buzz Lightyear and his goody-two shoes Star Command lackies would be none the wiser to his schemes.

As they were not here to stop him!

“Come, we must prepare our ground forces for our first scouting mission,” Zurg walked over to the nearest console to queue up the network that provided information about everything on his ship. His minion showed promise, but would need. . .assistance as she will be deployed on a mission by herself. “Prepare for your first mission. It is as follows; ascertain if this ‘Twilight Sparkle’ plans on making any trips outside the area known as Ponyville and beyond. Convince her to allow you to come with, gather any information, and provide a distraction for the ground units to come in assist.”

Cozy blinked, not fully understanding, but knowing enough that she was going to do something by herself. “Just me?”

Pressing a few buttons and hearing a chime, Zurg slinked over to his chair and waited, seeing the floor in front of him shift and hiss with steam as two shapes rose up, their shapes contorting and changing as they soon resembled that of Cozy Glow’s figure. “Meet the Makeshift Duo. A pair of highly advanced robots that I have outfitted with the best technology, skills, weaponry, and self-learning systems for seamless integration. They will be your partners as you embark on this journey.”

Cozy tilted her head at the shapes that soon finished shaping into what appeared to be a filly and colt. “What are they?”

Zurg snickered, noting the look of suprise on her face as his creations were given live once again. This time, they would be to the test; of whether or they could stand the rigors of this color pastel world and all of its. . .ugh; friendship. “I hearby grant you the rank of Scout, do not disappoint me.” Zurg said, closing his eyes as he winded down from his dance session.

“Yay!” Cozy Glow shot up, zooming around the bridge before stopping to think for a second. “Wait, what’s a Scout do?”

It's Evil. . .right?

Author's Note

Back again with another chapter; hope you all enjoy it.

''The only good is knowledge, and the only evil is ignorance.''

-Herodotus.

It's Evil. . .right?

Emperor Zurg awoke that morning as he had for years; with evil. Well, not so much so evil, as it was mild irritation that would grow into evil with his morning routine being completed. He hadn't missed not one daily routine, not in the last 5 years. . .

Except for that ONE time.

''Huuuugh.~'' Zurg shivered, thinking back to the day where Nana Zurg caught wind of him failing to do his routine. Her nuclear exploding rolling pin was no joke. ''And that's why I'm no longer allowed to visit Planet Cacao for the next 150 years,'' Zurg said, shaking his head at the phantom pain of that day. But the longer he thought about it, it made him want to get his routine over with all the more quickly, but with the same level of respect as to not warrant Nana Zurg coming from wherever she was at to render judgment. ''That was not a good time.''

Something else that he thought about as he began his routine was the status of his newest recruit and how far along their plan of taking over Equestria would become a reality. The last that he had heard from her, she was reporting to her friends and Twilight Sparkle about learning more of the world around them, but they would need a test run of sorts to see how efficient their moves would work in relation to the manpower they currently possessed as they were not on Planet Z.

The Makeshift Duo were dispatched with Cozy Glow to be her assistants while she followed through with the task of securing this 'book' that detailed the different places that Twilight Sparkle and her friends ventured to in order to spread the word of friendship.

It would be their undoing before long. This world held no idea of what lied ahead for it, and while he held the chance to, he would add this world to the Zurg Empire, though the thought of a placeholder as he conquered other worlds would need to be established before long. Logistics and planning often took as much time as it did resources to ensure all of his evil ducks were in a row. ''Excellent.''

''Bridge to Emperor Zurg; please respond.'' Zurg heard the ship's intercom system breath to life with a crackle of static as his name was called. ''We have a situation concerning Cozy Glow. We are unable to locate her location. There appears to be an anamoly.''

''Have you located the source of the anomaly?'' Zurg asked, straightening himself out and inhaling his favorite scented candle, Volcanic Ash. . .it helped to clear the mind and enhance thoughts of evil. ''Report that idiot's last known location and bring up the map.''

''Yes, Emperor Zurg. Cozy Glow's last known position was pinged at an area known as the Everfree Forest,'' E-V-12 displayed the map of the surrounding area of Equestria and the Everfree Forest as a red dot marked as Cozy Glow's showed just outside the entrance that branched off from the main area of Ponyville before steadily dimming in intensity before cutting off. ''The Makeshift Duo was assigned to Cozy Glow three days ago, and has so far been at her side since deployment.''

''Then what in the name of Buzz Lightyear was she doing? Could the forest be the cause of the break-in communication?'' Zurg asked as he shuffled to the bridge, intending to throttle the Pegasus when she was able to be found, especially if she was unable to produce any results from the mission.

''Possibly, sir. We are attempting to fix the issue, but the surrounding flora and fauna may be playing a part in disrupting our equipment; I would strongly advise pursuit of the agent of Cozy Glow to ascertain status.''

Zurg huffed as he sat down in his chair, taking a moment to inhale a breath and exhale, causing steam to rise up in the air before Zurg blinked three times before swinging his arms wildly in his chair growling and hitting the armrests, his minions knowing better to look at him while he was. . .carefully planning his next move. A full minute passed before he calmed down, pressing a button that retracted the forward hull enough for him to shoot a torrent of laser beams for a moment as his body began to shake. Standing up and holding a finger to the sky, he exclaimed. ''I AM GOING TO! Huuugh. . .'' Zurg slumped in his seat, muttering to himself. ''What is the point of having evil servants if they can't evil take care of simple tasks?''

''But, sir? I don't think that this is something that Cozy Glow could have predicted that would happen or The Makeshift Duo for that matter,'' Zurg heard another minion voice his opinion, even though there was a point to his logic.

''Regardless!'' Zurg clutched the armrest, not caring for any issues at all. But there still was something that had to be done. ''Lock onto the last known coordinates and prepare to dispatch a squad at my command.''

''My lord?'' E-V-12 asked. Zurg merely waved his hand as the robot took it as a hint to stop talking.

''I have a feeling, is all. Let us see just how devoted Cozy Glow is to the cause of evil.''

Cozy Glow felt good about what she was doing; about her mission. Ever since Mr. Zurg gave her the mission, she did whatever she could in order to accomplish the goal. She still was new to this whole idea of teamwork and greater power, but she would do whatever she needed with her new friends by her side.

''Hey! Slow down! We can't be a team if you go off on your own, you know.'' Cozy heard the voice of one of the Makeshift Duo call out to her as she ventured into The Everfree Forest. As far as she was able to take a long enough look to figure out where she could start first. The Everfree Forest was one of the places that Twilight and her friends ventured to build a friendship with the friends they first met and that in itself was a crutch that Mr. Zurg could use to build his dream. ''Why is she leading again?''

''Because Emperor Zurg wished to be so, besides. . .it is only a trial to see how well she can do for the good of The Zurg Empire,'' Cozy heard her other partner speak up as they traversed the forest, in search of a certain hut that would be the start of the conquest that would be to come.

''Ugh! Come on, Button Mash, it's not that bad.'' Cozy said as she checked the map to ensure they were keeping the correct route. Taking the initiative was important if she wanted to prove herself.

''I still find it strange that we're going into a forest, first of all places. But at least we have an alibi if something happens to us,'' Cozy heard the other of the Duo talk as she continued to lead to where Cozy was sure that they would find where this 'Zercora' stayed.

''Ok, Aura. I get it, but we should almost be there! Mr. Zurg expects results, and we'll do our best to have sub. . .s-subtania. . .l results,'' Cozy smiled as she learned that word from Ms. Twilight a few days ago. Button Mash groaned as Aura snickered.

''Substantial, Cozy. And are you actually sure that you know where you're going?'' Button Mash asked, trotting a bit ahead as he began to grow impatient. His internal scanners were on the fritz, which made it difficult for him to ascertain the location of the hut when the preliminary scan had been conducted a few weeks ago. ''I swear we've seen that pear-shaped tree for the 4th time now.''

Muttering to herself as the trio approached a crossing with a wooden rope bridge and a large clearing of water with a slight purplish fog on the top, Cozy stopped and sat on her haunches, thinking about what she could to get the three of them of the situation that they were in. They had to get something important to bring back to Mr. Zurg, and also manage to get back to give whatever they find for him in the first place too. A small shadow danced across the water, but Cozy thought little of it as Aura and Button Mash waited behind her, watching and waiting for what next. ''Maybe we can. . .''

Aura and Button Mash looked at the water, slowly seeing a shape grow out of as their newest member was too preoccupied with thinking of how to get out of the predicament they currently were in because of Cozy Glow's inability to properly navigate, though it was still in the phase of learning, so there was a tad of room of leeway. ''Uh, Cozy, you may want to take a look at this,''

''Not now, I gotta think of a way to get out this pickle of a situation,'' Cozy Glow muttered to herself, waving a hoof at the two of her friends as they spied what was looking at them and the possible danger that would probably follow if they were not careful.

''But,'' Aura said, trying to bring up all her weapons systems to help quell the threat, though to no avail as something was interfering with the signal that allowed the weapons to come online. A fight of unfair proportions was the least likely outcome wanted if it could be helped, and Cozy Glow's ability to fight had yet to be seen at all. ''We might have to do something about-''

''-YOHOO!~ HELLO THERE! Hope I didn't startle you darlings, Zecora did tell me that I would have to do better at my introductions,'' the long shape revealing itself to be a lizard of some kind with purple scales, along with a blond mustache and. . .pompadour?

''Humana, humana, humana, humana. . .'' Aura and Button Mash said in a trance-like tone, their internal processors trying to make sense of what was in front of their eyes. The creature gasped, seeming to be shocked that he managed to do the very thing he tried his best to not, and in front of those who he tried to make his friends.

''Oh, great; I can't seem to do anything right!'' the creature held his claws in his head as he slumped on the ground throwing the staff he held in his grasp into the ground, Button Mash and Aura stepping back and observing as Cozy Glow trotted back and forth, looking up when a glimmer of something caught her eye. She walked over, her eyes alight with curiosity as she walked over to a rather large orange-colored gem that was inlaid with a metal brace around the edges as a staff that was plunged in the ground.

''Is she that blind to what's in front of us?'' Aura asked, nudging her partner as they slowly moved backward more and more. Sizing up the staff, Cozy touched it, the glow from the staff making her eyes glow as she looked around for a moment, making a choice in her mind as she walked away in her mouth once it stopped glowing, heading further down the path the three of them originally went on. ''She just left us.''

''I think it's something to do with that staff,'' Button Mash said as the unknown creature continued to ramble on, until an orange mist slowly enveloped itself around him, causing its body to contort and poof, revealing a purple egg that was covered in the mist, soon following Cozy as she walked on ahead, seemingly unaware of what may or may have not done. They would have to hurry if they were going to catch up with Cozy. Whatever the staff was, it was something. ''Maybe Emperor Zurg can use it for the Empire.''

A Wave Of Evil. . .Evil, Evil

Author's Note

Back again with the evil, and that means. . .well, more evil. It's a simple equation, really. How will Cozy Glow and the Makeshift Duo be able to accomplish their mission? WIll our intrepid ponies be able to see the impending doom, and will Zurg's quest for the best root beer finally be complete?

Find out in this chapter and more to come.

''History is an endless repetition of the wrong way of living.''

-Lawerence Durrell.

A Wave Of Evil. . .Evil, Evil

Emperor Zurg's flagship slowly began to come to life, the thrusters once grounded being given life once again. The ground beneath charred in an instant, funneling the grass and soil into a depression, the opposing forces lifting the heavy, but majestic ship rumbling the loose debris. Cozy Glow could hardly believe what was happening; Mr. Zurg's ship was finally in the sky! Feeling a bit of a thrum, the next thing she could understand, and the ship took off, soaring high into the sky, passing cloud by in the blink of an eye.

''This is so amazing!'' Cozy cheered, zooming back and forth between the two large reinforced windows on either side of the Emperor Zurg's deck.

''Indeed,'' Zurg commented, his haughty air about his ship being complimented giving the dark lord a sense of confidence when his ship, The Dreadnought took off once again. ''Is the cloaking system active?''

''Yes, my lord!'' Aura replied back with a gumptious attitude. ''Engine power holds steady at 94%, and our navigation system is synced with the local terrain.'' Button Mash walked over to his fellow partner, nudging her to look at Cozy Glow practically burst at the seams with the idea of being in the air with Emperor Zurg and to help the mission go on of achieving the mission's goal.

''Excellent. Our mission has been pushed forward, and we will only have but time to implement our ideals to this puny world. Cozy Glow, report!'' Zurg commanded, the small addition tensing before zooming over to Emperor Zurg, saluting with a hoof as her button denoting her rank as a Private glistened.

''Mr. Zurg, Cozy Glow reporting-'' Zurg interrupted, his glowing eyes doing little to deter her report.

''Emperor.''

''-Me, Aura, and Button Mash went into the Everfree Forest, and we didn't find anything at first,'' Cozy remembered the expedition to the forest, only to be entranced by the cool staff that she found. It managed to give her the ability to move objects like a Unicorn, and to reverse or accelerate things from what Aura told her. ''But then I found this really neat staff and an egg!''

Emperor Zurg drug a hand across his face in annoyance; while not completely incorrect of a report, it still lacked, and that would have to be rectified in the future for the sake of the Empire. The powers of the staff greatly intrigued Zurg to the point where experimentation would have to be taken underway, though having his newest minion field test would produce more realistic results and lessen the chance of something going wrong to the others on his crew as he had yet to add more numbers to the ranks beside the one he recently had.

He would have to make these minions last, as well as their individual health care plans when this ripe world gets retro-fitted to his specifications.

''Euuugh. . .as riveting as that was, your mission still remains incomplete; the addition of this staff and our ship being sky worthy once again does tip the scale in our favor, so we will not squander this chance to make this world into the best version it can be. . .the Zurgy version, hahahahaha. . .'' Zurg chuckled to himself, seeing Button Mash and Aura self-diagnose themselves before waiting for their next set of orders from their lord. ''Button Mash will be your base for communications and Aura will be your escort as you begin the next part of our quest to spread our influence.''

''And what's that, Mr. Zurg?'' Cozy felt the staff move a tad from the sling on her back in response to the egg that sat nearby in a containment field. He merely pointed to the case as Button Mash trotted over, bringing the case to Cozy who looked at it in mild confusion.

''Go and 'convince' your friends and as many of the local townsponies you can that our new acquisition is a force to be reckoned with as you can, no doubt control the beast.''

''Huh?'' Cozy still didn't understand; she knew she had to do something with the staff and egg, but Mr. Zurg's words sometimes went over her head when she wasn't paying as close attention as she should have been.

''Just go into town and make sure you let the egg out, I'll explain what you have to do when we get there.'' Aura said, tapping her fellow loyalist on the back. ''Button, make sure you stay on the comms, we may need it.''

''Yea, yea.'' Button Mash said, waving the pair off as Emperor Zurg sat back in his chair, reveling in his feeling of a plan coming together, and before any could be the wiser. . .

Buzz Lightyear would finally rue the day he allowed his doom to spread to another sector of the known universe.

It would be his undoing.

Ponyville Outskirts. . .

Aura sat on the ground, her precepts unable to tell her much besides what she was seeing Cozy do; the staff she found made quick work of the egg that contained what she was able to tell was a Leviathan back to life, sprouting out in an almost petal-like flare of scales and mist before settling. ''Curious.''

Looking over the egg that became the Leviathan, Cozy Glow smiled to herself, knowing that whatever it was that she had to do would help Mr. Zurg's mission and help her with her friendship homework with Headmistress Twilight! Two birds with one stone. The look of surprise on Aura's face made Cozy giggle; she was the nicer out of her and Button Mash, and the fun things that they gave Cozy Glow the idea that the CMC would have to befriend the two of them. ''Hi, Mr. Leviathan!''

''OOOOO!~ What in Equestria did you have to do that for? If you really wanted to talk to me, then all you had to do was ask!'' Aura saw the Leviathan stretch about and work out a crick in his long, scaly back as his pompadour and mustache remained poofy and unkempt. ''What can I help you with? H-Hello?'' Cozy looked at the creature with a bemused look as Aura's translation system began to analyze the body structure and internal vitals of the creature in front of them.

Cozy looked at Aura, completely unaware of what her partner was doing, only to have the thought of spreading Mr. Zurg's message and the goal of making his business boom throughout Equestria be stopped for a second by her new friend. He. . .was funny! Maybe she could have Mr. Zurg give him a job with the Empire. ''So, what do we do now? I can't understand what he's saying!''

Aura's optics short-circuited for a brief moment, her systems perfecting telling her what the creature said, but her wonder at why Cozy could not when she held the staff and turned him into an egg gave her the question about what avenue she should approach this from to get the mission done under any circumstance.

Misdirection?

''Um. . .he's saying that he can help us, Cozy.'' Aura made her speech understandable to the two of them so the creature would not be any the wiser until she chose to enact her plan for Emperor Zurg. ''He said he heard about what Mr. Zurg wanted to do for Ponyville and he thinks he can help paint Mr. Zurg's idea.''

The mile-wide grin on Cozy's face would have grown even more if it were possible. ''How, how? What can we do to help?'' Emperor would hopefully praise her quick-thinking skills to somepony as impressionable as Cozy Glow which did make her wonder just how far would she be willing would her determination to the cause of conquering other worlds would go before. . .explaining would have to be done.

''Well. . .it's a little to take in, but I think we can help,'' Aura clicked her tongue as her eyes drifted to Cozy's staff and recalled the explosive energy that the Leviathan held would possibly give her the fuel needed. ''Here, follow my lead.''

''Excellent, excellent; yes, yes, yes, yes! Hahahahahahahaha!. . . Oh, what a wonderful sight!'' Zurg cheered from the bridge, Aura's optic up-load to the ship's megaplex screen that displayed the wonderful evil that began to take place in the small town square only gave Zurg all the more reason to dance like a mad warlord over the burnt ashes of buildings and grass. Aura's impromptu plan, once explained to the dark lord as the original change certainly provided an edge that would otherwise not be immediately found within the timeframe was a refreshing change of pace.

The mind and heart of his newest employee were beginning to have an iron grasp around Zurg's claws, making the work that needed to be done seem trivial with a ship.

Now to set the next trap.

''My lord,'' Button Mash called out to his master, looking at the glint in his eyes rise with each passing second, the vibrations of joy being felt from as a breeze of wind, more comparable to a small wave. ''Something about this feels a little off.''

''Nonsense, Button! Things are going according to my plan, as you and Aura are no doubt aware, more so than that dolt Cozy Glow, which begs the question,'' Zurg hummed, clutching a hand over his chin in thought.

''Lord?'' Button asked. Zurg shuffled forward towards the navigation screen, looking over the vast landscape of Equestria. ''How far would she be willing to go for the sake of evil?''

''Boss,'' Button called, the dark lord paying his subordinate no mind.

''One day she may be able to. . .surpass me,''

''Uh, boss?'' Button called a bit higher but to no avail.

''Nana Zurg would surely be coming for me with her nuclear rolling pin, even across the stars. . .'' the thought of planetary destruction upon his scalp made a wave of jitters run through the warlord.

''Emperor Zurg!'' Button Mash called out, hopping in front of his boss, the sudden action causing his neck to be caught by Zurg's claws as a glint of red flashed from his eyes.

''What?''

''Ponyville is on fire.''

''What?! And I missed it?'' Zurg dropped Button on the ground, causing the robot pony to shake his head as the impact may have knocked something loose. ''Aura; report!''

A gargle of static followed from the ship's intercom before Aura's voice came in, albeit a bit panicked. ''Situation. . .questionable.''

''I said a report, you bucket of bolts, not a guess!'' Zurg's temper flared for a moment. ''What in the name of Buzz Lightyear is going on that I missed in a few seconds?''

If Aura could, she would just cut the call short; it would be better if he didn't know, but he was her boss, and a question was asked. ''Cozy Glow may have taken my expression 'light the town' a bit too literally.''

A gloved hand drug itself across Zurg's face as the ideas began to sink in. How bad?

''How bad could it be?''

''She's riding Ruhoo.''

''It has a name?!'' Zurg asked, groaning.

''It had an actual name; Steven from what I was able to tell, but Cozy seems unable to understand him,'' Aura said, her optical feed showing Cozy Glow riding around Ponyville with the creature in tow that shouted and spat fire from his maw as the citizens of Ponyville scampered about, some being zapped by the staff only, to be turned into infant ponies, screaming and crying about. ''Should we. . .stop them. . .if we can?''

Zurg was temporarily at a loss for words. Cozy Glow. . .actually began to make progress. ''I. . .''

What Kind Of Business Do We Run Here?!

The sun's rays penetrated through the ship's observation deck, basking all those within range with much-needed warmth to help jump-start their day. One grunt, in particular, nursed his fresh cup of coffee as he took his morning checklist to the bridge. Today would be another productive day; he would put his best foot forward to please Lord Zurg and the Empire.

While also managing to stay on his bad side, which was, strangely enough, a good thing.

''Morning Gleeb!'' Gleeb nearly fell over as Lord Zurg's newest recruit made it a point to greet everyone on board and see if anything could be done to help the day's plans. ''Check this neat drawing I made!'' Cozy Glow showed the small green alien a paper titled with her name and a very crude, and frankly, chicken scratch drawing of her and Emperor Zurg hugging and being friends with the caption; Friends for life.

''Mmm, very nice, I see the rainbows could use a bit of work, but A for effort,'' Gleeb chuckled, watching the recruit zip about and showing the others. She was a strange kid or filly in her particular biological case, and he wondered what exactly she expected to do when signing onto the Empire.

Because rainbows and hugs would do little but irritate Lord Zurg.

''Hehehe. . .just try not to bother us too much, Private Glow; we need to focus on today.'' Gleeb chuckled to himself. ''One day you may be in my shoes, managing this ship.''

Pausing, Cozy Glow turned to Gleeb, a wide smile on her face. She could be in charge of Mr. Zurg's cool ship?! ''How?'' Gesturing for her to follow, Gleeb wanted to show the youngster a thing or two.

“Being in this line of work for as long as I have, you pick up a few things,” Gleeb gave an air of wisdom to the young Private. How much promise to the Empire she had would only be matched by her motivation. “Emperor Zurg expects results after your last mission in Ponyville was met with. . .mixed results.”

Blushing, Cozy thought everypony had forgot about that. It only happened a week ago, and she did barely mange to convince guidance counselor Glimmer to make everypony in the town forget, even Headmare Twilight. “That was a bad thing of judgment, that’s all.”

“Error in judgement, which is why you have to earn back the staff to use outside of the area of the ship.” Gleeb said, checking off his list, and seeing the downtrodden look in her eyes as her ears drooped. But he wasn’t all work and no play; younger kids needed a firm nudge, but also reasonable distance to grow and and live.

Two birds, one stone.

Or two evils for one Zurg Empire.

“How? What would make Mr. Zurg change his mind? A lot of ponies I know can’t-ZIP!” Cozy gasped, dashing away and neatly spilling Gleeb’s coffee until she came back with a fresh parchment and quill, drawing something with the speed of Rainbow Dash and she shoved the parchment in his face, smiling a mile wide. “This!”

Taking a moment to observe what she drew, after squinting some and tilting the drawing. Huh. That. . .actually could work; granted the execution leaves some to be desired and the timing is last minute.

But and evil plan, he knew when he saw one, even from a child.

“And how old are you?

10 and 1/2!” Cozy chuckled, before breaking out into a full out manical laugh when she thought about her plan. “Mr. Zurg will love this! Hahahahaha!” Gleeb raised a brow at the timbre in her voice, a bit higher pitch then what he was used to, but the feeling was definitely there. Her breathing came almost naturally, pausing to let more air in and push her chest out to sustain the reverb that passed through the bridge. Button Mash, Aura, and even Beeper (telemetry bot) holding up score cards in order from 4, 7, and 4.5. “Really, Beeper? I tried my best this time around!~”

Castle Of The Two Sisters. . .

“And perfect!” Emperor Zurg chuckled to himself, admiring the finishing touches put on his statue that stood at the very geographic center of the castle which his minions were working diligently to repair, replace, or otherwise create the aura of evil Zurg intended. “Quite the mother-load of space, the vines are the right thickness and shade, and the view from the top floor that hasn’t fell apart yet is just divine.”

“Oh, indeed my lord,” Zurg turned his attention to the Brain Pod who gave him the data pad detailing their progress. “The completed estimate for your new base will be in the next 3 or so days here, provided the weather does not force us to stop,”

“Excellent, excellent! One more accomplishment that will lead to this world being mine, and Buzz Lightyear kissing my shiny metal butt! Oh, oh I wonder how the Christmas Tree Ranger is doing, plotting not capture me, no doubt.” Zurg said, his body shaking with the excitement of a wild muscle. “If only he could! Can’t find me in another dimension!”

“Actually,” Brain Pod 25 replied in a matter of factly tone, paying the quirk of wonder and subtle
glow of his lordship’s eyes. “Different time, and dimension, the implication is there, but being sure of the when makes just as much sense as the where.”

Zap! Zurg blasted his minion with an eye beam, the impact flinging the poor soul into the nearest tree where the casing cracked and began to leak from the sheer pressure of hitting the tree.

“If I want to find something out, I shall ask,” a groan of agreement was what Zurg heard, regardless of the tone of pain underneath. “But I am curious about one thing; would our scanners and communication network be strong enough to possibly reach past dimensional and time specific limitations? I wish to contact Warp Darkmatter.”

“Oh. Right. Him. The feat in it of itself would actually be fairly accomplished with the technology we have now, however. . .” A glare from Lord Zurg quelled his stalling. Brain Pod 25 knew with any greater distance would require something to compensate the much greater distance. Time and exact location as a secondary issue would be be done in minutes. “We would just need an amplifier of sorts to bridge the distance, is all.”

Shuffling forward and leisurely clutching a fist when he took a moment to feel the heat penetrate through and give him the sense of warmth and comfort that he heard so much about.

And even experienced at one point. But something else felt off. As if he was forgetting something. . .

He never really wanted any of this; not like this. It was only because-

“-Hi, Mr. Zurg!” Cozy Glow’s voice pinged from his communicator, the display blowing up to show a medium sized image of Cozy on the deck of the ship, with her almost boundless energy. “Do you like building forts?”

Pinching his fingers to his nose and exhaling, Zurg dreaded whatever cockamamy scheme the little disaster managed to think up herself. Why did he let her in again? “Huawh.~ Greetings, Private Glow; I would hope you have something good of mention. Now speak.”

Right! Cozy had to make sure Mr. Zurg knew what she did. “I found a neat thing that the staff can do!” Cozy’s tone was overlooked by Zurg narrowing his eyes, causing her to catch her slip of the staff before making her point clear. “By the ship, like you said!”

Groaning at her lack of communication etiquette, Zurg’s eye caught wind of the background changing when he took a second to focus. Where was that little idiot going? “What are you doing? I suggest you speak quickly.”

Knowing that Mr. Zurg would love to hear about her plan, Cozy figured it would be easier to show him. Tapping the Z icon on her chest, the view changed, revealing the edge of the Everfree Forest giving way to a scorched landscape, littered with stray boulders and tumbleweeds as far as the camera could see. “I made some new friends with the Diamond Dogs!” Cozy said, angling down to see her being carried by what looked to be primitive dogs dressed with collars, leather vests and a hungry glint in their eyes that Zurg could easily see as. . .fear?

“What exactly do you mean by friends? Why do they look so afraid of you?”

“They suddenly wanted to be friends when I showed them my staff.” Cozy said, a bit unsure if Mr. Zurg would want to hear the next parts, but Aura said to report everything. “They wanted me to come to their favorite spot for an offering. I tried giving them something they would like to show we’re friends, but they said I would be enough since I’m a leader,” Cozy said, one of the grunts saying something to catch her attention. “Oh, sorry Mr. Zurg; I gotta go! Private Glow reporting. Bye!~”

“Wait, you sub-standard excuse for a minion!” Zurg yelled as the communicator cut off. A few things registered in his mind.

Diamond? Dogs. And the fact that Cozy Glow may have done more then him in a few days then he did in his first year as a ruler.

And who told her to use the staff again for something like that?!

A Dragon-On

Author's Note

Back to another chapter, you guys. Enjoy the shenanigans of Emperor Zurg and Cozy Glow, because Celestia knows she'll end up being the end of him one day.

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

-Jean-Jacques Rousseau.

A Dragon-On

The thrusters on Emperor Zurg's ship slowly winded down, to avoid charring the ground needlessly. The landing ramp deployed as the ship's landing gears contacted the ground with a deep thump. Smoke hissed, blanketing the arrival of Emperor Zurg as he proceeded down, noting the overall aesthetic of the Dragon Lands. Due to the uneven and jagged obsidian plateau, he had to land further away than he wanted. The air was hot, and the wind blowing almost to a standstill. His target was the looming lava-filled pit where the largest congregation of Dragons gathered. ''And finally, we have arrived. I do seem to recall that my Telemetry Bot would have fared a much better job to get us here, but you just had to finagle your way to the controls.''

Button Mash blew a raspberry, trailing behind Zurg. He got them there in one piece, granted it took a few (a lot) of corrections to fly the ship without it blowing up or losing any more vital equipment that would take weeks to source and re-integrate. ''We got here, didn't we? But why is Cozy Glow not here? Don't trust her with more than one thing at a time?'' Button Mash watched his lord twitch at the mention of her name. He had to admit to himself that Cozy Glow was beating the seasoned warlord at his own game. She not only managed to secure a position in his ranks easily, but also not be instantly zapped or reprimanded to the same degree as others, and gain a mystical staff to control a Leviathan, and wreck a bit of havoc on Ponyville, all while becoming the new leader of the Diamond Dogs when the whole 'sacrifice' debacle was rectified was the kind of glory Emperor Zurg only achieved after being the Evil business for a few years.

Button was sure it hurt his pride more than his track record.

''Regardless, that simpleton has only gotten by due to the graces of luck. It takes years to develop one's Evil persona, and years longer to apply it in practice,'' Emperor Zurg shuffled forward, intending on showing all underneath him who the real master of Evil was. ''According to the information gathered by Aura and the lucky brat, the most likely race to subjugate would be the Dragons.'' Emperor Zurg said, looking forward to the joy and pain that would soon come for this new race.

A reconnaissance bot flew out of the ship, the various antennas and sensors sounding off as it took to the skies to procure intel. The element of surprise would be the best thing for them, as the little information given failed to assess any latent powers or advanced intelligence that would pose an issue.

So a touch of finesse was needed.

''Yet, something tells me that this might not be as simple as you may think, lord.'' Button Mash stepped back a tad when Emperor Zurg kneeled to this level, uncomfortably close to his face with his laser eyes glowing. ''T-This could go wrong if we don't take the proper precaution.''

''Are you mocking me?'' Emperor Zurg's voice dropped to a dangerous octave. His hands were dangerously close to his subordinate's body, oh, how simple it would be to toss him over the nearest ridge on account of his foolishness. ''Because it sounds like you're mocking me, and if you're mocking me, then I will make a mock of you!''

''N-No.'' Button Mash hastily said, chuckling. He just offered his thoughts, what was the harm in that? ''Of course not.''

''Then stop talking and prepare to subjugate; this is not up for debate! We will have our moment today, and that marshmallow pony will not be the wiser of me on this day!'' Emperor Zurg bellowed a mighty laugh, grabbing hold of Button Mash and tossing him back into the ship with a single hand. ''And fetch the Mind Control Device, something tells me we're going to need it.''

''Higher than usual intelligence?'' Button groaned, scrambling up the ship's ramp. ''Or advanced battle tactics?''

''Actually, the opposite. Observations by way of Private Glow and Aura about the closest Dragon to study as a basis showed me that the majority of Dragons other than the one known as Spike, and sometimes including Spike, they're all complete morons.''

''And you think that mind control would work on idiots?'' Button Mash raised a singular brow. His lord's plans were most of the time hit or miss, and the thought process behind the particulars gnawed away at his mind as well. A beeping sounded from his internal heads-up display, relaying the information from the recon drone. Most of the Dragons previously noted stood there, appearing to be bickering amongst themselves. A lanky, red Dragon, with holes in his wings, stood at the center of the disagreement, his motions and shouts failing to intimidate his fellow kin before his form was engulfed in flames; a puff of black smoke rising from his snout as he fell to the ground. ''Well, he could work,'' Button Mash said, shutting his display of the overhead view off.

Taking a moment to review the footage for himself, Zurg did not hold the same level of assuredness as his subordinate, but he figured there could be little in the way of trouble if something were to go wrong.

And any advantage he could have over that brat he would take.

A Few Minutes Later. . .

Garble had a bad day as it was, and now this? He only came back after a rather bad day with his passion project, which he didn't need to tell the other Dragons on account that they already knew and waited for the perfect time to grill him about it. The work of a poet was a job rarely looked at and appreciated by those without the refined taste of the creative and literary arts.

It took a lot of skill and courage!

And here he was, getting chased away because the rest of his so-called 'friends' were ignorant of the deeper message. Something would have to change if he ended up coming back, with some shred of his pride intact. Garble wasn't sure who needed their behinds kicked first, but he had a list (mainly Spike and those namby-pamby ponies), though the last time he attempted to follow through with his plan, it blew up and pecked him in the face; more literally than Garble would have liked to admit. ''Darn it! If only I had a way to get my revenge. Would show those jerks what for, and put my rep back at the top as it should be.'' Garble said, trudging around the charred mountain, eyes downcast and uncaring. He needed to think. ''Heh, I'll take anything at this point.'' a puff of smoke left his nostrils.

''Evil?'' Garble's scales nearly flew from his body from the voice that sounded in front of him.

''Ah! What the Dragon Lord?!'' Garble scrambled back after falling on his rump, coming face to face with a tall, lanky. . .thing with red eyes with a Pony? Wait, nothing about this made sense. Why here? Why now? Why. . .was it laughing so loudly?

''Be at ease, lowly creature, for I, Emperor Zurg, praise be to me,'' Emperor Zurg said, sweeping a over-exaggerated claw to his underling, the look of utter and complete doneness in the pony's eyes not being lost on Garble.

''Praise.'' Button Mash responded dryly, wincing when Emperor Zurg smacked the back of his head, nearly causing him to keel over before he caught himself. ''Praise be to Emperor Zurg of the Galatic Empire, first of his name; take heed!''

''Better,'' Zurg responded with a snooty tone, not liking the hit to his image on such a simple thing as introductions. That was the foundation, the metaphorical evil bread and butter of being a warlord who struck fear into the eyes of their subjects was integral. ''You stand before the future! Your lives will be better in all aspects, you need only to adjust to the program of the great Zurg Empire, much will be done in my name, and your lives will be greatly improved, yada, yada, yada.''

''Say what now?'' Garble asked, his initial fear dying down and being replaced by curiosity. What kind of program was this guy talking about? And why did he sound like that? It was weird. ''Better yet, why do you think I should care?''

A flash of red shone from Emperor Zurg's eyes. ''Because I offer the one chance to you that I will not the rest of your measly species; a chance to join the winning side of your own free will. To enact a small bit of the revenge I know you so desperately seek.'' Emperor Zurg said, the primitive cogs in the dragon's head slowly beginning to turn the longer he spoke of his plans. He would no doubt try his best to resist, such as the mindset of countless other races who either fell in line or were destroyed. ''I have every confidence that-''

''-I'm in.'' Garble simply said, stopping the warlord's future rant in its tracks. He. . .surrendered? And so easily? Without letting him finish his devious plan of conquest? This was concerning.

''That easily, huh? Guess we won't need that Mind Control Device after all, huh?'' Button Mash asked with a voice of surprise, gesturing to the cumbersome square platform on wheels that resembled a rather large cabinet with multiple thin slots glowing a sickly purple and green. ''Is it lack of intelligence or just plain ignorance?''

''Quiet, Button. We do not take in strays off of the streets just like that, we are more civilized than that.'' Zurg said, folding his arms.

An inquisitive chirp sounded from Button's sensors, Garble looking at the small pony with a confused look.

''So, does Cozy Glow not count in that equation?''

SMACK! Button Mash was smacked away a few feet away, landing on his hand from the force of his master's hand backhanding him over towards a small mound volcanic mound, the subsequent miniature eruption launching him in the sky in a fantastic display of fire and ash. ''Guessing it's too late to change my mind?''

''What do you think?'' Zurg bent down to Garble's level, feeling the young creature's fear and confusion at the situation. The device that his subordinate brought was willed over to the dark lord, deploying to reveal a swarm of silver braces, plumes of air coming from them as they zoomed toward their future targets. ''Time for my plan to come to fruition! And that marshmallow menace will not be the one to get in my way!''

A Fool To Evil

Author's Note

Hey guys, back at it again. Sorry for the long break, being active duty in the military really shows you how little time you have for some things and to manage the rest of what you do have. But I have missed writing, so I hope you enjoy this long overdue chapter and the rest of my stories when they all update.

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.

-Baltasar Gracian.

A Fool To Evil

Star Command. . .

Emperor Zurg.

His greatest nemesis. The bane of the galaxy. A connoisseur of root beer.

Questionable, but he knew that it had to all be a ruse. And wherever Zurg went, his rein of evil followed, and the innocents would suffer.

''Buzz?''

Evil was sadly, a force in the universe that could never truly be stamped out but could always be fought with the honor, glory, and rightness of good.

''Buzz, you there?''

And it was up to him to be the driving force behind it. Zurg was unlike any other evil-doer he ever faced in his career, and understanding the scope of his power and mind would only-

''-BUZZ!'' Buzz was brought out of his internal monologue and back into the present to barely avoid getting sidelined by a wall as he walked towards the chow area. ''You doing ok?''

The question caught Buzz off guard. Was he ok? Could he be. . .ok? With Zurg not within his immediate area of watch, it was hard to say. His gaze settled on Mira who held a questioning, yet concerned frown at her leader's recent behavior since Zurg was whisked away into that black hole. Barely he slept, ate only out of dire need, and often committed himself to countless patrols of the sector and beyond.

And all of them; dead ends. Something had to give. ''Oh, Mira. Yea, yea. I'm fine, just thinking.'' Buzz shook his head, mentally preparing for another round of patrol that was set to happen in the next few hours.

''About Zurg, no doubt. Boss. . .it's been close to 2 months since we saw Zurg get swallowed up by that black hole,'' Mira's tone of pleading betrayed the cautious glare in her eyes to Buzz. He never did too well with something unless he understood it first, in his own way; which took time. ''You may have to accept that he's gone.''

''And if not? Then what? We just let that monster run amok in a different sector of the galaxy? Or worse off; an entirely different one? One where the laws may be all that much more sarcastic, and Zurg can worm his sick, twisted grip around poor, defenseless worlds,'' Buzz rounded on his second, his finger poking a firm, but calculated pressure near the collar of her suit. ''And what would Star Command say or do to that? Incompetence, that's what.''

And again with the same response when he was asked about Zurg. Everyone who had an idea of what happened eventually got around to talking to Buzz to see how he was doing, or more so ordered since those in higher places could see his quest for justice going beyond the standard procedures of Star Command should his mind go off the rails suddenly. ''But for how much longer can you keep this up, Buzz? We tried everything we could, I think it's time to let it. . .go.''

Let go? How? How could he? It was Zurg! The bane of the cosmos; the dark lord who subjugated entire races, and held the record for the longest consecutive monologue. Few could stand in his way, and the message that would be sent by running for the hills with tails between their legs would only serve to push the narrative further. Someone like Buzz Lightyear would be remiss to up and leave things stand as they did. ''Easier said than done, Mira. I can't really explain it, but a part of me knows that he's still out there, scheming.'' Buzz looked to the vast expanse of the stars, a glint of defiance in his eyes. ''He's gotta be.''

Mira sighed, knowing once again, his mind would fail to be changed with just words. Everything under the sun of Star Command had been suggested to help Buzz ease into the acceptance that the greatest threat that the galaxy faced was now gone, and for him to move on.

Well, mostly everything.

''Well, whatever you plan on doing, you should make it quick. We do have other missions, you know.'' Mira said, handing the space ranger a tablet with a set of data entries that displayed the rampant crime rates in the various sectors of the galaxy, those with the highest bounties for capture, and the squads assigned. What caught Buzz's attention was the name at the very top of the list, listed in red.

Warp Darkmatter.

''There,'' Buzz pointed his finger at the lapdog of Zurg. He would surely have an idea of where his master was. Always in the midst, though never too far from the monster's hand, always scheming, and always a traitor in the eyes of Star Command and the Space Rangers. ''We need to capture Warp, and force him to tell us where Zurg is. He may even be sending him information and supplies for as much as we know.''

Mira furrowed her brow. Easier a task said than done. Warp was Zurg's second hand and not one to be taken lightly. If they held any hope, they would definitely need to have backup and a well-thought-out plan But, at the same, Buzz did have a point, but with the glare in his eyes and his recent behavior, Mira was not confident that he would be up to snuff when the time came. ''Right, I'll get in touch with the LGMs to see if they can engineer a few toys and tricks for us. It still may be a dead end for Zurg, but Warp can't be allowed to roam free.''

Buzz nodded as his second walked off after making sure he was as ok as he could have been before embarking on his patrol with XR and Booster. The two of them wouldn't be nearly as direct about the issue of Zurg with as Mira was, and whether for their own reason or their own personal way of going about it mattered little to him.

One of the greatest evils was still out there, plotting, planning, brooding. . .recruiting.

''You won't get away, Zurg!'' Buzz shouted to himself inside his helmet, forgetting that he failed to switch the dampening feature back on, surprising and causing a few of the other Space Rangers in his vicinity to flinch and look at him in confusion. ''Oh, sorry. My bad.''

Meanwhile, on Emperor Zurg's ship.

''AH-CHOO!'' Zurg sneezed, blowing a nearby minion away that was on their way to bring their lord his requested cup of Root Beer procured from the nearby settlement town known as Dodge Junction on their way back towards Ponyville.

''Query; are you ok, my lord?'' a nearby telemetry bot asked, one of the optics shifting and moving to look in Zurg's direction.

''Ugh, no! W-What was that about? I'd only ever sneeze if. . .'' Zurg trailed on, suddenly stopping to look at his prized drink all over his deck. Rage began to flow through him.

Then the realization.

''Curse you, Buzz Lightyear!~"

A Few Laps More

Cozy Glow awoke in her bunk, hopping out just before the whistle that would have caught her unaware close to a week ago. Her time being in Mr. Zurg's ship and memorizing the routine only served to help make her a better worker.

An Evil worker, Mr. Zurg put it best.

''Good morning!'' Cozy shouted, managing to wake up before the whistle that would go off every morning to alert her. It had caught her off guard the first few times, but being the smart pony that she was, Cozy managed to beat it a few times without the need for a clock. ''How's everypony doing? Huh? Where did you guys go?'' Cozy looked about the assortment of pods, only to see that she was the only one still sleeping. ''Did I accidentally-AH!'' the sound of the whistle scared her to the ceiling.

''Surprisingly quick,'' Zurg looked at the stopwatch, then to Cozy on the ceiling, shivering as if she was in the middle of an intense blizzard, watching her eyes being as wide as saucers. ''Come down Private Glow; not like you can stay up there for long, anyways.''

With her entire mood changing, Cozy looked to see Mr. Zurg. Did he have another mission for her? Maybe she could help bring some of her friends to meet Mr. Zurg! ''Private Glow reporting!'' Cozy flew down, standing at attention.

''Sigh; You need not report when you wake up, you marshmallow pony,'' Zurg said, paying little attention to the fact that her uniform was put on haphazardly. ''Unlike the first time you ended up staying in the barracks, you seem to be more accustomed to the way things are run here,'' Zurg began to shuffle to the hallway, Cozy following close behind after fixing her uniform. ''Given your. . .initial mission in the town of Ponyville, and though the results were not quite what I expected, the time for us to strike is nearly upon us.''

''What does that mean?''

''Evil, you twat!'' Zurg picked up Cozy with a singular hand, his red eyes gleaming. He craved it, wished for it, needed it for him to be seen. His desire to conquer this entire world and beyond would be quick, it would be glorious, and it would be a real kick in the pants for Buzz Lightyear; if only he could see it! ''You, Aura, and Button Mash have been gathering information about this so-called 'Friendship School', so the time for you to brief me has come.'' Zurg took Cozy to the bridge, where Aura and Button Mash were waiting, looking expectantly at each other before walking over to Cozy. ''Time now.''

''Yes, Lord Zurg,'' Aura brought the young cadet over in front of a standing board with a projector. ''From the data we received on all of our ends, we have reason to believe the best time to strike would be during this time next week as Twilight Sparkle will be up to her ears in trouble.'' Aura activated a clicker, which displayed a crudely drawn chicken scratch picture of Twilight and her friends, surrounded by flames, with Cozy Glow's name written in pink crayon. ''The drawing here was not made with everypony's likeness in mind.''

''So I see,'' Zurg rapped his fingers on the armrest, slowly beginning to mull over Cozy's creative talents. ''And you are so sure about this, why?''

''According to Cozy Glow, she's been gathering artifacts that can help initiate, what would be the starting point for your conquest of this side of Equestria, my lord.'' Button Mash used the clicker next, showing Cozy Glow gathering various artifacts, without a care in the world. ''We expect everything to be in motion and done by this time next Tuesday.''

''Really now, and how did you come to that conclusion, Private Glow? Been holding out on me, have you?'' Zurg sneered as he went over the following projector slides that detailed Cozy Glow's plan in greater detail, yet the whole thing seemed to lack vision; that evil flair Zurg was looking for. ''And how sure are you of your plan working? We are on a tight schedule.''

Perking up, Cozy zoomed off to her bunk before coming back, nearly crashing into Mr. Zurg's chair before she presented her paper to him. ''I know! That's why I had Guidance Counselor Starlight give me advice on even tell me about some of these neato artifacts! I have almost all of them, I just need one more.'' Cozy said, watching the small smile on Emperor Zurg's tell her everything.

''Then my conquest can start? At long last?'' Zurg asked to himself, Cozy, Aura, and Button nodding in unison. ''Excellent! About time too; all of this brooding and waiting around, you'd think the author forgot to continue the story.''

''What?'' the trio asked with confused looks on their faces.

''What?'' Zurg parroted back. Nonsense; probably. It was time for evil! ''Prepare the mechanized infantry!''

''Flamethrowers too, my lord?'' Aura felt the need to ask for clarification.

''Does Buzz Lightyear irritate to me no end? Then you answered your question, dimwit!''

Next Tuesday. . .

Zurg sat on the top observation deck of his cloaked flagship, admiring the subtle view of the city of Canterlot in the distance. For a bunch of pansy ponies, they sure knew how to build structures with shape, but the color wasn't there. He would rectify that issue before long. This was the moment that he always enjoyed when subjugating a planet; it built the most power in a short amount of time, and it allowed him to sample the feeble strength of those who dared to raise a hand, hoof, claw, or whatever pathetic upper or lower extremity in protest of their new lord and savior.

He had the attention of his loyal minions, the additions of the new Diamond Dogs, who seemed keen on following Cozy Glow out of pure fear at this point, and now the Dragons.

It turns out having the use of the Mind Control Device only applied for some of them, at least the now dethroned Dragon Lord Torch and his daughter Ember, the rest followed suit swiftly after. The skies were at their clearest, at least for now. In but a few moments, time would the greatest invasion of the single greatest mind in all the galaxies descend upon these lands with great fury, evil, and anger with even more evil!

It would be-

''Emperor Zurg? The troops are uh, waiting for your speech.'' Button Mash came up to greet his lord, followed by a small group of Brain Bots who worked tirelessly to ensure no last-minute surprises came out of left field on the one day when it would be very unfortunate for anything to disturb the flow of the cosmos. ''Private Glow is currently on the ground, attempting the final phase of her plan, whereas you-''

''-Whereas I what?'' Zurg waved the Bloodstone Scepter in front of his subordinate's face. ''I suggest you speak quickly before the main event.''

Clearing his throat and stepping back, Button Mash did just that, anything to avoid being shackled up with Emperor Zurg for too long. There was evil to do, and not enough time in the day as his lord would always tell him. ''The moment we see our opposition drop to the ground, that will be the time to strike.''

''That's the plan. I know the plan, Button; it's MY plan; I made the plan, what I don't understand is why you are telling me the most important part of my plan! Making these mindless fools fall under the Zurg Empire is not up for debate; they will learn or they will perish!'' Zurg clutched his free fist, his cape billowing about in the wind as a strong gust came in. ''Your point in that is, what exactly?''

''No, I meant that when the magic of Equestria gets drained, our enemies will, at least the Pegasi at first; they won't have the magic to fly, followed by the rest of the creatures that depend on Equestrian magic before long.''

Oh.

''Oh, yes; right. Well, even though you lot of you would love to have a speech, I speak for us all here when I say this. Evil rules; good drools, and Buzz Lightyear is a fool! HAHAHAHAHAHA!~''

A massive rumbling, followed by a magical explosion sounded from below ground, smack dab in the center of the so-called School of Friendship.

''Zurgification has begun,'' Emperor Zurg's eyes beamed red, his ship uncloaking. Evil would be good.