~ V ~

So Long! But I Must Be Going

Fluttershy still blushed when she held the cup—or the glass, rather—and gazed into its burning contents. That's not to say the contents were burning—but they burned her tongue and throat and inside her belly once she drank it. That wasn't to say that it was hot as its temperature was lukewarm but—

"Shy?"

She blinked sweetly and looked across the wooden table. It was a plush, round bench that went around it—with Applejack sitting at the other side. They were in a wooden cubicle without a window to her right. Softly burning fires lit the scene overhead as the sensation of night was felt.

"Yes?"

"I was askin' your trick for beatin' the season." Applejack's head threw back with the shot and slammed back down with a gasp afterward. She twitched an eye in the internal rodeo with the drink. "Not breakin' a sweat neither are you cloudin' the air with your tail. What's yer secret?"

"Um." Her face burned scarlet and her muzzle dipped into the glass. She started to lick at the drink—only to wince. Shivering and enduring a glare from the other side of the table, Fluttershy sighed, closed her eyes, and threw back the liquid. "UhmmmhmmM!"

Applejack shook her head and rested an elbow on the table before leaning her cheek onto her hoof. She looked aside with a spitting look. "Ask a gal how she cools down and she just takes somethin' to make her burn up."

She continued shaking her head. "I swear. These days. I'm considerin' goin' for an icicle."

"Ew."

"And now she talks!"

Fluttershy's shoulders dropped as she lowered her glass to the table. "It's embarrassing."

"More than Rarity's rants on stallion's undercarriages during our spa dates?"

“T-That's because s-she's embarrassing herself.”

"And that gal don't even know embarrassment anymore."

"But when it's with me, I..."

"Promise you no other soul will know."

"...one already does?"

"Huh? But how would... oooooh." Applejack blinked. "You found yourself a toy or a boy?"

Fluttershy swallowed. "Boy."

"Friend? More than that?"

Fluttershy wiggled her tush to the left of the velvet seat—not minding the sensation—to lean out and peer from the cubical. The bar was mostly empty save for a band, far in a corner, tuning their guitars and lazily playing notes.

Few stallions sat far north to where the counter was. Too hunched and tired and absorbed in idle talk to care to listen for them. Fluttershy leaned back in and looked to Applejack. She smiled through her embarrassment until, finally, finding her voice.

"I've um, h-have had Discord in my house for a long while that, t-throughout the years..."

Applejack's face recoiled. Her gaze remained on Fluttershy as her hooves fetched the bottle to her right. "Wait wait. You and Discord. This whole time? That's how you've—"

"No no no! Nothing like that!" Fluttershy surrendered her hooves to the air. "You girls would have picked up on that. Rarity at the least. I mean, she did, recently, but..."

Applejack bit the neck of the bottle and poured another shot, still glaring. "News nawt tha dime tha pawush."

Fluttershy glanced down at her pressed-together hooves. "Just that, b-because we were sharing the same house and I... I... I did not want him to ever know of me in that state that I... I asked him if he could perform some magic."

Applejack returned to the bottle with a glare that barely softened. "...by magic, you meanin' the real thing, oooooooor—"

"Real thing! Real thing! Not so real thing later.”

Applejack's glare became confused.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. "Rather he had a spell that could reduce the internal heat and, uh, other f-functions in a mare during heat. M-Meaning that—"

"That you could cool off without needing a cold bath or some zany pill." Applejack rolled her eyes and crossed her forelegs. "Both used to do it for me until lately." She went for her shot. "Hey! Just a moment! How come you never offered those services?"

Fluttershy smile became horribly stretched. "You... never asked?"

Applejack downed the drink, fought it, endured it, and overcame it. "Fine. Don't want us known' you're like other mares. Get it."

"But... I'm am like other mares.” Fluttershy finally looked away and hid beneath the waterfall of her mane. "At least. That spell. I-It worked. B-B-But this year. T-There was something else." She exhaled steam and watched it waft over her snout. "E-Even when I was cool, I was... bothered. Bothered. Bothered about a lot of things."

Applejack didn't speak.

"I'd lay back in my bed only for it to be empty." Fluttershy breathed slowly. "Tomorrow being the same as yesterday. Knowing that I... wasn't getting any younger. That I hadn't found romance. I figured that, y-y'know, m-m-maybe I am a little shy—that it would be harder to find someone."

Breathing was becoming harder to do.

"But that I would find someone." She looked down. "And that I would get to live that romance. Ponies talk about me." She smiled. "Rarity tells me all the gossip. But I never see it, hear it, or feel it. And... and it's only to go down. Until there's nothing there at all."

"You'll find someone, Shy, I know ya will."

Fluttershy was able to look back at her friend, with a smile that was grown. "I, um, a-already did."

And now Applejack was smiling. "Mister magic caster did another sort of spell, did he?"

Fluttershy did not answer. But the blush dressed across her snout, which was nodding, was more than enough. Applejack chuckled and leaned back in her seat. She looked up. "Was thinin' 'bout that myself the other day. Our bodies gettin' so dang hot as to annoy us. But then. I think that's your body tryna get you to do somethin' before it reaches yer mind."

Fluttershy blinked but was listening.

"You get hot and bothered and you look for a colt to cool that off with." Applejack poured another glass with her hooves this time. "Maybe you get close to this colt afterward cause you need to keep going to him for that. That's your romance and love figured out. Someone consistent and close that no friend can be. Then a bun goes in the oven and you're set."

She grinned. "Your body gets hot so your mind doesn't have to be bothered later with all those questions and regrets and none of that. Only so long you can cool the body before the mind is bound to spark. Then either ya gotta submit or find a way to cool that."

She lifted the glass to her lips but did not drink. "I wonder which one I'll end up choosin'."

Applejack went for the drink before hearing the kicking of a door and the ringing of a chime. The heavy sounds of footsteps and lumbering bodies coming through. Both mares glanced out of the cubical to see the new squad.

Spike ducked through the door as Big Mac walked at his side and Discord floated behind. The mares leaned back, without a significant reason as to why, decided, in a mutual glance, to keep quiet. Their footsteps passed to the counter where the scratching of a stool came next.

"Telling you my dears."

Spike's glare could be heard. "Sirs."

"No no! You two are dear to my heart, and you must come to know that whenever I call you that."

"No no." Even the jab of a talon could be sensed. "You're going to make a joke about how we're dearer than sirs—and I'm not listening for the punchline."

"Party-pooper."

"Enduring three rejections will do that to a dragon."

"Which is why you are more a dear than a sir!"

A claw struck the counter. "Damn it."

The deep voice of Mac spoke next. "Three?"

"Lost Rarity. Get Twilight to lose Twilight. Decide not to get back with Rarity." Spike sighed and slumped. "Maybe not rejections—but somethin' close to that. Hard night. Give me a break."

Discord groaned. "May I speak before our grump has the chance to steal our night with his woes? Good! Now then, dear and sir, the article of the night! There is nothing more dangerous than a mare that knows that she is pretty.”

Silence.

"Sounds about right," Spike said.

"Don't figure," Mac replied.

"That's because you don't have a marefriend that's pretty," Spike went on.

"Comin' from one that don't have one at all?" Mac shot down.

"Point to you." The dull crack of a forehead against wood sounded as the dragon crossed his arms over his head. "But I meant more than your marefriend is more gorgeous than pretty. Different kinds of beauty and all that."

Silence.

"Crud," Mac sighed. "Sometimes I get you mixed up with Discord." His hoof rapped the counter "Tender! Bottle from the top shelf. Somethin' to kill my friend on the inside here." There were footsteps, a clink of glasses, and the pouring of a liquid.

"And now! Once more! If I may so bring the attention to myself!" Discord seemed to be sliding the drinks to his friends. "Spike my boy is correct. Fluttershy is a mare that is pretty but, thankfully, only half the time knows it. But in those halftimes—I am her slave."

The other friends were silent.

"She makes you lick her hooves?"

"If she were to peek out from behind her mane, with twinkling eyes, a blush, and the ask for me to do so? I'm afraid I would have even murder you too, without a grand reason, were it to be even a silly wish of hers."

Spike coughed after his shot. "Makes sense. Nothing you can do about a mare being pretty. Maybe you can fight it down. But they'll always have that effect on you. And when it's so easy to come up, and so hard to fight down, you're pretty much screwed."

"Fluttershy is indeed a pretty mare." Discord seemed to be toasting a glass. "And I indeed should be screwed once she properly uses that against me."

Spike took another shot and, though he groaned, handled it better this time. "Didn't you go from villain to hero because she smiled at you sweetly?"

"My point exactly." Discord poured all their glasses. "Thousands of years of being evil to be defeated by a mere smile." He chuckled. "Now imagine if she were to give me a real request with a bat of her eyelashes."

"You love her?"

Seconds passed.

Then a sigh.

A slump.

A groan.

"I'd love her even if she were not so pretty." Discord then grumbled. "Which, wouldn't be possible, even in old age with a loss of her hair." Then he sighed again. "Please, though. Don't rattle me on this one. At least—not tonight."

Spike's claw hooked around his shoulder. "Nah nah. That's good to hear. Some things you have to take seriously, so you don't have to with all the other stuff. Proud of you. And, uh, all the other stuff a bro is supposed to say."

"You're doing good," Mac added.

Discord grumbled but did not raise a fuss. "Thank you... sirs, I do suppose."

Back in the booth where the mares had not even allowed their heartbeat, the friends looked at each other, with Fluttershy crossing her hooves over her chest. She swallowed. Nearly in tears. Tucking in her lips, biting, wanting to rush out, without a care, and kiss that goofball.

But like her, the two had caught to the voice of Spike, daring even to peek out from the cubical. He sat hunched with his elbows heavily resting on the counter. His face was forlorn and he drank shots as though eating candy. Not someone that was alive, but merely, just there.

"Hey... Discord?" The dragon's head turned and, in so doing, they could see the side of his face. The darkened purple of his scales, the dried state of his spines, the way his frills hung heavier. That, and his eyes. They were known to glow, but now, were dim. "I've got uh, another reason for callin' us out."

Discord and Mac scooted away from the dragon. "You're not deciding to switch teams, are you? Full acceptance. Just that I'm not free."

"Me neither."

"Stick it to both of you."

"Oh no."

"Oh dear."

"Buzz off! Serious here."

"Right."

"Aye."

Spike closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a moment, wobbling in place, barely keeping himself together. When his eye opened again, it burned, just a little, a glow that came in being powered by the idea of another. "There was a spell I was reading up on that you used to do. Not quite cloning—but you could make a stallion exist for a night, right."

Discord's eyebrow raised. "I... well, sure, perhaps? Not that it would have a great life of its own but—"

"I have a friend, a dear friend, going through something right now—where cooling off and helping herself isn't doing the trick." Spike looked back to his drink and raised it between a set of digits. "I need something that could be created like that, y'know, help her through the nights. Give her someone to cool off with and then snuggle against afterward."

Discord leaned back. "That's... uh... er... afraid to say this—but kinda strange."

"Aye."

Spike nodded and looked into his drink, swirling it, smoothly. "I know. No doubt she could create the spell herself. But she needs someone else. And I... dunno. Just at the end of my ladder." He rubbed the side of his head and leaned into it. "Sorry. Guess I'm not making much sense anymore. Just... harder to keep myself together."

Discord breathed. "Three rejections will do that to you."

Spike drank his drink. And then he drank another. More and more to fill himself on something. The friends extended an arm to him, as he continued the drink, the rest joining in, drinking shot after shot. They didn't say much throughout the night.

Applejack and Fluttershy looked at each other, being filled on the past, yet being unable to do anything in the present. Their hearts ached, yet it was not their place to do anything more. They also drank.

The reason why ponies drink, above them all, is because alcohol is consistent. Always there and always to the same effect. Some drink to get drunk, of course. But most drink due to the consistency the beverage provides.

And sometimes, in life, all one can do, is, of course, drink.

The streets were cool and the winds were cooler as the drunken dragon stumbled across the cobblestone path, from side to side, barely able to keep himself straight. Soon his feet dance on polished stone and, catching on to each other, as he fell forward.

His frame slammed into smooth coolness and a wave of dust gusted out beneath his frame. His chin laid on the ground, his eyes, opening to reveal the rotations of the world around. They closed and she grumbled.

Would it be so wrong for him to just be like this for a while?

U-Useless. W-Weeks since bar... couldn't even... find guy...

He laid like that for a while.

Promised... would... her tonight... heart hurts... lied about that... just friends... yeah...

Spike decided to lie like that for a while.

Cold winds struck over the baloney poised over the castle to reveal the nation's sweeping land beneath it. Chilled marble and golden shoes frosted as Princess Luna stood in the chilling moonlight. She stood alone. Preferred it that way. Then was overjoyed to hear hoofsteps behind.

"Enjoying your work?"

Luna smiled. "Trying to get lost in it, I'm afraid."

"Lucky are you." Celestia trotted to her side and, together, they looked at the night sky. "You may peer at the moon for as long as you wish. Yet not even sunglasses help with me and the sun."

The two chuckled.

And the winds blew.

"Sister? Are you not worried? About your student, I mean?"

Celestia laughed. "I'm always worried. Even more when I must do nothing."

"You do not believe as though she'll make the right choice?"

"It's in our choices where our faith in someone is proven." Celestia sighed and it was taken away with the breeze. "My feelings are against her, at the moment, but in choosing not to intervene—that is the marker of my trust in her."

Luna glanced down. "To go in the path of Cadance or in the route of us?"

"Cadance could never be a queen."

"And neither could we."

"Which is why all of our stakes rely on Twilight." Celestia breathed and breathed and found nothing of the sky did anything to cool her inside. "Warmth or coldness. Strength or weakness. What she does with elements of those is up to her."

"And the spell?"

"It's prepared."

"Shame Discord could never learn to do it."

"It's deepest extent was meant only for us."

"And quite possibly Twilight."

"Indeed. It depends on who, and what, she decides to be."

"I fear for her, Tia."

"As do I, Lulu."

The sisters looked at each other.

"I'm glad to have you."

"As am I, you."

The room stank of sex even though it had yet to occur, the dragon falling to the right of the mare, breathing, as she laid back herself. Spike huffed and lifted his claw. Sticky toy held which he then tossed away. "Was... that... ahahah... any better?"

Twilight laid on her back, panting, doing her best to nod. "Y-Yeah. Y-You were right. F-Feels... better... when someone else is doing it."

"G-Good... that's good... very good."

Twilight's head rolled on the pillow, and she looked at him from the side, beneath the veil of his bangs. "You... want a return?"

His claw waved her off. "N-Nah. Got... everything I needed."

She rolled her head and licked her lips and groaned. "Buuuut I didn't even do anything!"

Spike chuckled. He laid an arm over his own chest. Soft forelegs never draped over him anymore. He still longed for it. Touching and holding himself, it seemed, helped with overcoming that feeling. "Call me strange! But getting you off is enough to get me off. It's no biggie."

Twilight's eyes rolled and she flipped back onto her back. "Riiiight."

They laid there for a while, in silence, where, as the seconds ticked, the awkwardness increased. Should the dragon be going now? Was this his cue to leave? It was harder to read those now. Sometimes Twilight wanted him around as much as she wanted him gone. It was getting harder to read the signs.

And, had this started before he'd gotten used to intimacy, then the poor dragon probably would have suffocated on himself. Glancing over to the window, he saw it was opened, and that the mare was curling wings around herself for it.

"Guess the nights are getting a bit cooler." His frame slid from the bed and stood upon his feet in shuffling around to the window. He pulled the planes back, sealing them with a sigh. "I, uh, c-can make the room... warmer, if needed."

Glancing over his shoulder revealed the back of the mare, already facing him, and the back of her head shaking. "N-No. That'll be alright. Thank you, Spike."

"No problem." He glanced down. "Whole point of this is to cool off anyway."

"Mmhm."

Sadness stole his expression and his heart weighed a brick. Body lethargic and mind a swamp. He stood there for a bit. Enough so for Twilight to glance over from the side of her barrel. He didn't bother looking back. "Say, Twilight? I have something to tell you."

He could hear her swallow. The sudden release of nervousness into the air. Caused by him and his feelings for her and whatever he might expect out of her from them. Knowing this made it easier to admit his next line. But Twilight's care was still for him. "Is everything okay, Spike?"

"I-It is." Spike turned and leaned his back onto the icy window, not caring for the pain, wanting to feel something beyond the awkward air. "Just that... work is a bit harder on the farm as of late. Season's soon to change. Few helpers are going to be out of a job because of me."

Twilight winced though it was hard to tell for. Her amethyst gems turned away as she resumed laying away from him. Her ears drooped. "O-Oh. I see. M-Maybe you need a trip to the spa? Trained massages for troubled muscle groups?"

His head shook and his arms crossed. "No no. Nothing like that." Though a massage from you would be lovely. Spike blushed. "Just figured that... while being able to do the job of multiple ponies was cool at first... putting them out of work was not."

Twilight chuckled. "Mister 'I feel useless at everything' to ' I'm better than several ponies at most things.'"

Spike also chuckled. "Through no credit of my own! Being born as a dragon will do that to you." He sighed and looked aside. "And when I go to work with other dragons, I'm sure to be the weakest of the lot."

Now that caused the mare to roll back around as her mane spread across the pillow. Long strands hung over her face, but it still could be seen, in the awash of moonlight. Her eyes were wide, burning at the moment, her chest steadily rising and dropping. She didn't speak as to not expose herself.

"Wrote to Ember and she said there was work and a cave with my name on it." Spike smiled and still could not return his gaze—even as hers laid on him. It hurt too much to go through this. Properly this time. "Figured I could give pony work back to ponies, get out of your mane, and get some experience working and living with my own lot for a while."

Twilight swallowed. And then she choked on it. Spike looked lower at this.

"P-Perm... p-p-permanent?"

Spike took a deep breath and looked to the ceiling, and endured the sting of tears that pricked at the corners of his eyes. Needing so much air as to patch over the holes in his words punctured by his weakness. "Who's to say? Temporary at the moment."

He shakily exhaled. "But if things go well... who knows."

Maybe I'll even find someone to love me.

He clenched his eyes.

Stop that. Get out. Get to work. Keep yourself calm and stable.

"W-Well, i-if that's h-how you f-feel..." Twilight swallowed again, and kept doing so, with sharp intakes through her snout. "Then... then it's good for you to be moving on. In your direction. Following your own path. Getting out there in a new environment with your own kind s-should make you... feel more c-complete with certain things."

"Yeah."

"And I take it... we'll have to call this off?"

"Yeah."

Twilight turned away. "That's alright."

Spike breathed. "Will you be alright for—"

"Heat shouldn't last for too much longer." A soft and weak giggle broke from her. "You stuck it out for me for the majority of it. I... can handle the last days of it by myself."

Or find yourself someone you can go all the way.

"Thanks, Twilight."

"No. Thank you, Spike. Really. Truly. For everything."

"Right."

"So, uh, y-you plan on..."

"In the next few days, yeah."

"Promise to write?"

"Like you every week to Celestia."

"Leave out the naughty parts."

"Back to our usual routine?"

"L-Looks like it."

"The comedic duo—back at it."

"More o-official like too."

"Exactly what a princess would need."

"Yuuup."

Silence.

"So long, Twilight."

"Take care, Spike."

Footsteps cracked and sheets ruffled.

"Oh, um, Spike?"

"Yeah."

"Don't forget that I love you."

His smile could be heard. "Love you too, Twi."

Same words spoken before, without any love or feeling, the sake of social need demanding them to be spoken. Back before all of this had happened. They'd said 'love you' because out of tick wanting it so. Yet it was clinical. Said for the sake of being said. Nothing more beneath its creation.

It's what they were supposed to say and do.

And yet.

What is the point of hollow words beyond shallow reassurance?

The door squeaked open and the footsteps disappeared behind it. There was a click and nothing more. Nothing but darkness and heavy sheets and a room that smelled of her dragon. Twilight choked a sob. Eyes wet and cheeks becoming moist. Unable to keep the sobs from infecting her voice.

They cracked. Each and every one. She laid on her back, crying, sobbing, whimpering, a total collapse within. Coming to curl into herself to chase the minimal comfort and warmth there. But it wasn't enough. Hugging her tail and crying into it. Nothing greater came from it.

And the mare cried by herself for most of the night.

"I must admit you look rather dashing in that outfit, darling," Rarity said with a step back and a pur behind a raised hoof. She glanced up and down his figure, blinking, as though recording mental photos. "Sure you do not care to be my lover for a few nights? Allowing me to get my fill of you before you're gone?"

Spike dropped his arms from above his head as they swung to his waist, the powerful stroke of wind blowing back his coat. It floated up with a ruffle before falling back to his ankles. It was a faded green with a thickness that matched his form, which the fabric also hugged, revealing his lithe nature.

And the brown, adventurous scarf, accentuated the look.

"Afraid I'd clump up or get too attached or mess up some other third thing." Spike stood on the modelling altar, reaching a claw inside the coat, feeling for all the pockets and the extent of their depth. Twirling to feel how the tailed spun and how the outfit floated from him. "But this is nice, Rarity. Really kind of you. The other dragons will probably tear me up for sure about it."

Rarity snickered and snapped close the tape measure in her magic. "So long as one lovely lady tears you out of that coat—I will have deemed it a success." She set it on her workbench. "Just a shame that such a lady would not be me. Even more so Twilight Sparkle. But let us leave that matter behind us."

"Let's."

"Though she was okay with you leaving us for so long and for so far away?"

"Not like I can't visit, or you do the same for me."

"Suppose that's so."

"I think getting out there really will do a lot for me." Spike stuffed his claws into the coat's outer pockets, swinging back and forth, feeling the coat float those ways. It was a nice feeling. Sometimes an outfit could empower someone in its matter. "Out from the mess of here. Getting to be with dragons. Going to be harder competing with my own bracket. But... that'll be a good thing. No longer having it easier simply because of what I am."

Rarity smiled as she walked over to the bench, turning her face from side to side before its mirror, checking for spots, or just admiring herself. "Although I do believe the girls and I love you for who you are, dear."

"Doesn't feel like that's anyone much nowadays, Rares."

She turned only to see his raised claw.

"But let's leave that to the past as well," he suggested with a pleading look.

Rarity's eyes rolled. "Let's."

"But it'll be good." Spike's claw dropped with him smiling above it. "It'll force me to get better and to learn what my kind is usually like. Customs and all that. Being away from all my problems. Learning how to truly be on my own in strange land. It'll be nice."

Rarity smiled back as the dragon stepped down the boost and started to make his way to the door. He stopped halfway and looked back at her from over his shoulder. "Sure I don't owe you anything for this?"

"A going away gift is called a gift for a reason, Wiley," Rarity chided. "Now go along now! Goodbyes are too troublesome on my heart. Be sure to pay me a final visit when I have my tears and tissues ready to go at the same time."

"Right, right."

"Besides, I have a date just after this." She giggled and brushed her hooves. "Now shoe!"

"Aye aye."

Rarity's giggles died as she smiled at herself in her mirror. Lazily floating over a brush and watching it work on the spirals of her mane. Something gnawed at her. What it was—was apparent. Best to let what cannot be solved be forgotten.

But at the ring of the doorbell and the squeaking of the door.

"Spike! Darling, wait for a second, please."

His reflection paused in the glass and he looked up. Over his jacket's collar which hid most of his jaw and left his eye to burn above it. She blushed, wiggled in place, breathed and settled herself. Good to know I fell for him for proper reasons.

"I know we agreed not to bring this up but... are you sure you don't bear any other regrets? Or feel as though you are on the path of making them? Wasn't your wish to always be there for her?"

His smile poked out from his collar. "I'll always be there for her. But, trust me. I'm more harm than help for her at the moment." He breathed deeply. "I'm always there at the first call. Flown home at the first letter."

Rarity's expression shattered like glass. "But we're talking about Twilight here, dear." Her muzzle dropped, and her shoulders fell, and she collapsed. "Twilight's the girl to only go for help that's there. I-If it's not, due to one reason or another, she's bound to suffer alone."

She shakily exhaled. "Even if help was the easiest thing to call for."

The dragon looked at her for a while and, after his shoulders dropped, he looked away. "I know. Known her too long not to know that."

"We can't be around her like we always used to." Rarity turned and saw her stool and barely managed to clamber onto it. "Lovers are the only ones close enough to pick up that slack. She's a princess. She's..."

"She's also freaking Twilight Sparkle—which is a danger onto itself."

Rarity shouldn't have—but she laughed. "Quite indeed."

"But I can't help Twilight when I can barely help myself." His head turned outside the door, to the cold, open air. Light and freedom all for them to explore out there. "And even then I would still be there for her. But I... I just can't take it anymore. The way she treats me. Doesn't do it to be malicious. She's not a bad pony. It's all just... just too much for me anymore."

Rarity sighed.

"It's not healthy or fair for me to keep inside of that anymore." Spike shook his head and raised a claw, and clenched it before his face. "I need to get out and make something of myself first. Get that stability. Maybe, after that, maybe I can go back to being like that for her again. But I can't expect to carry her on broken shoulders."

And now he sighed.

"Especially when she doesn't feel the same way."

"So just loving her isn't enough anymore."

"It will be—once I'm strong enough to support it."

"Then I suppose I was a fool to assume you haven't thought this through." Rarity turned away to cross her forelegs on her workbench, laying the side of her head onto them. "Maybe you won't be without regrets. But, at the very least, you can be sure in your path. Take care, dear."

"Thanks, Rarity." He was barely out through the door before his next line. "My only real regret is going to be leaving her while she's still in heat."

Rarity's eyes had closed. Enough to cancel off the date and steal some sleep. Indeed she barely heard the dragon. One critical line, however, shattered her skull and ricocheted inside her mind—that burning passage of words.

"While she's still in heat." Dear? Are you...

The chime of the door was seconds away.

"Spike! Spike Spike Spike! Spikey Spike Spike Spike!"

Spike stopped and stepped back inside and turned around. His expression was lifted into shock. "Yeah! What is it? What's wrong? Did you cut yourself?"

"Not while there's not any sad music playing—tch, enough of that!" Rarity shook her head of wit and instead followed after the beating of her heart. "Dear. Did you just say you were leaving Twilight Sparkle while she was in heat?"

His expression became sour. "Yeah. And don't tell her that I told you guys that she was in—"

"No, no, no, you buffoon!"

“Hey! I'm a dragon, lady.”

"How about big idiot dragon dumb guy!"

Spike stepped back and spread out his arms with an expression bordering on anger. "What gives. Rares?! What the heck did I do!"

Rarity turned her head without breaking their eye contact and actually spat on the floor of her boutique. She stood up and started shooting toward him. "You told me Twilight was in heat!"

His head rolled and he groaned. “Oh here we go! The belated lesson on being a gentle dragon! What difference does telling you when you already figured it out before?! And why are you making a fuss about this now?"

Rarity knew to speak more was to continue the argument they weren't even happening. So instead. She closed her eyes, cooled off, felt the colder breeze from the door, and then had everything click. Her eyes still burned as they opened—but they did so, gently, now. "Dear? Could you be so kind as to tell me the temperature outside?"

Spike's face narrowed, but he didn't fight it, knowing that, no matter how unrelated, Rarity always followed through to a point. "Bit colder than usual."

"And, on your way here, what have you seen mares wearing?"

"Coats on their coats."

"Spike."

"Fine! Just coats! Why? New fashion trend? You just get hit by a sudden inspiration?"

Rarity closed her eyes and exhaled steam. Knew there was a reason why I hated him as much as I loved him. Both for valid reasons. Such an apt eye you have for males, Rares. "I didn't want to have to spell this out for you—but since you didn't come to realize this in the first place... it was unlikely you could make sense of even after being given all the clues."

Spike bore the insults for, if he was wrong about something grand, and made a fight here, it would reflect even more poorly on him later. Better to find out if you're in the wrong before one makes a stand.

"What is it?"

"Summer is over and fall is on it's way." Rarity cleared her throat and looked away, blushing, not liking to have to talk about the inner workings of a mare with a guy. "Heat? That went away for us weeks ago." She scoffed. "Honestly. How could you expect us to be hot and bothered, all throughout the day, if we're wearing a coat, to brave against the cold?"

Spike's back crashed into the door frame as the back of his head did the same. He breathed heavily and looked upward. "But... no that's... ah... oh..." His eyes closed and his head shook before the former reopened to look at her. "I-I mean, I knew that, but figured, y'know, cause she's a princess, maybe..."

His pitiful smell stung her nose and Rarity turned away. "I swear that insecurities and lack of self-esteem are the greatest trouble maker in all the world." She exhaled the steam of her aggression away and snapped a glare to behind. "Tell me. Did you dare to ask her the reasoning why this was still going on?"

Spike shook his head but didn't let it end there. "I dunno! Maybe she liked the feeling of having... someone do something!"

Rarity whipped back around and stormed at him with a jabbing hoof. "Oh yes! Because that is our Twilight Sparkle, is it? You are her lifelong best friend. Cast yourself aside and place someone else into the role of you—a fine way of removing internal troubles from proper thinking."

Spike swallowed but nodded.

"Twilight Sparkle, bookworm and princess, never been on a date until a fair few years into adulthood." Rarity cleared her voice as her head bounced upward. "With the help of her lifelong friend, she enjoys the bliss of sex. This is all done for the sake of relieving her heat and to avoid making a fool of herself in the public eye."

Spike nodded slowly.

"But now her heat has gone away, and despite rejecting a different love from her lifelong friend, continues to keep on sleeping with him." Rarity danced onto two legs and rose into the air—all to slam a hoof onto the dragon's lips. "Yes. I know. You didn't exactly sleep together. Pleased each other. Shared the same bed for most of those nights."

The dragon voice tickled and vibrated and muffled beneath her hoof. "Mhawhasfasdmaskm."

"Yes. I know. She sent you away after each session after your dear confession." Rarity rolled her eyes. "Dear. I don't mean to enter the world of cliches here, as what I say applies more so to personalities, but you know us mares aren't always clear, right?"

"Mmgawm?"

"If I said I was fine, though my mane was on fire, would you believe me to really be fine?"

"Amfmdfaw?"

"Ugh." Rarity's shoulders dropped as her forehooves did the same to the floor. "Clearly, I taught you nothing." She walked away once more, but stopped, exhaling the pain away. "Listen. This is Twilight we're speaking of. Before she was a princess, she was a lonely, studious little mare, wanting to impress Celestia and suffering a panic attack every day for it."

Spike rubbed at his lips and jaws as the mare went on.

"She couldn't express herself well, especiallywhen you two first arrived." She laughed. "All those little memories. Remember the incident with the tickets, in which, she struggled to tell any of us no? Throughout that, who was she able to communicate all of that with?"

Spike blinked and looked out of the corner of his eye. "Me?"

"Exactly! From silly breakdowns for Celestia to legitimate friendship worries, all of them, she could express to you." Rarity sighed and sat on the floor, and the dragon, seeing this, did the same—sitting cross-legged. "Even the matters of her lust she did not take to her friends. Yet she could confess them to you—and even ask for help."

Spike chuckled and looked at his lap. "And I didn't even have to offer."

"Shows how comfortable she was with you." Rarity smiled, and there was nothing else behind it. "You were the only male, maybe, the only being in all the world she could trust. No doubt I would have loved to be there for her. But I was still finding my wild ways after yours and I separation."

He sighed. "Then you have Applejack and the farm and Fluttershy and Discord and—"His eyes lit up.

But Rarity's hooves were already the same. "No fear for you. Worst kept secret in all the world. Everyone already knows everything about those two." She breathed. "Now back to Twilight. She gets close to you, far closer than she expected, and the two are close... in ways you'd never thought you be."

Spike nodded. "Right?"

"But then starts developing in a way you never expected and, if I may so myself, rather quickly." Rarity cleared her throat and laid a hoof on her chest. "You two found a love that was real, that was powerful, for it was unique and unable to be identified. A resounding feeling that could not be composed by words. Your connections, the way you knew the other had it, was in how you both felt it for each other."

Her hoof slid from her heart. "You both were aware of it. Could never say anything about it. Look into the eyes of each other and kiss each other softly. You could express it in all that it compelled you to do for the other. Most first romances are meant to fail, and one learns more from the next one."

She laughed and looked over her shoulder to the mirror behind. "But to find love on the first try, and with someone too important to lose—or maybe it's because they're too important that love is there in the first place. In any case. Twilight is not a mare that takes kindly to being weak. Her current occupation enforces that to a degree."

Spike sighed and shook his head. "You're sending me for a loop here, Rares."

Her eyes rolled. "Boys." She went on. "You were able to recognize what you felt for her and were willing to allow yourself to be made weak in expressing it. Twilight, on the other hoof, is carrying too much baggage as to allow herself to be genuine and clear."

Spike clapped his claws in his lap, much like a kid, and listened on.

"First you two get intimate, then you two find love, and then, you confess it." Rarity stole a long breath to steady herself. She exhaled as though her soul went with it. "She wasn't sure what to do and, this time, didn't have her best friend to express it to."

"But I would have listened!"

Rarity giggled, and soon, that turned to laughter. "Ohoho! My dear Spikey-Wikey! As self-searching and noble as ever! But that is not the way how matters work! Twilight would still be the mare figuring out if she loved or didn't love the creatures those problems belonged to. She would feel terrible even at your full acceptance—anyone would."

Spike slouched and looked through to an abyss beneath the floor. "I guess you're right. Didn't... really think of it from her angle."

"It's because you're willing to take any pain that you don't consider how it must feel to those who cast it." Rarity shrugged and rolled her head around. "Could be she's been waiting for you to get mad. Or to simply stop. Maybe go away for good?"

He picked his gaze up. "Hey! It's not any of that! Just... exactly that! I don't know what she wants me to do and the changing cues are... well, they're ripping me apart, Rares."

Rarity stared up and into his emerald eyes. "Twilight is torn between being weak and being strong, being able to surrender to you or keeping herself distant. There is no heat. She is not the kind of mare doing this for pleasure well after the fact."

She then glared. "Do you believe that, Spike? Or do you think that Twilight would keep you around, knowing your feelings for her, only to selfishly pleasure her because of how good it feels? Cast yourself aside for the moment and think about it objectively."

He didn't need to think. "F-Fine. She... wouldn't keep someone around, on those conditions, for that." And when he did start to think. "She'd keep them around because... because they weren't sure what they wanted to do. Want it or not want it. But it would mean... mean that she... felt something more... or wasn't sure she was feeling something more... or...."

He was so lost in his trance that something tapped on his cheek. His eyes opened to the present and to a muzzle bathed in the white of winter. Lips fell onto his cheek. A warm kiss, a different kind of love, one meant to soothe him.

Rarity pulled back. "Lose yourself in that endless, winding train of thought, and you'll be stuck like she is." She leaned over and kissed his other blushing cheek. "Twilight feels something for you. But she isn't sure what to do. And doesn't have her best friend there to help her."

The weight of the world crashed onto the dragon's shoulders as his ribs cracked and his chest collapsed. He leaned forward and could not endure the pressure on his back. His heart shattered. Face dried. Eyes losing their spark.

"...and she won't for a while."

Rarity dashed back a step in shock but, looking to the dragon, saw him smiling.

"It's all true. Everything you said. Don't think you've gotten a single detail wrong." Spike still smiled and stood, which required a claw to push against the ground, another on the wall to help him up. Cracking bones could be heard. "But I can't live like that. I can't be the only one putting in all the work."

“S-She's trying, Spike!”

"I... I know she is." He was about to shout but... knew anger led to nowhere. "It's tough not knowing what she wants to do. How we go from close to not close. Sharing a bed in awkwardness to being unable to speak in the morning. Having that feeling be there but it... being so confusing."

His head shook and his claw clenched at his side. "And I just can't do it. I can't wait it out. You talk about her not having her best friend—but what about me? Where's my best friend?"

"You're able to talk to us! Don't have the weight of a nation waiting on you!"

"So that means I deserve less than her?"

Rarity's mouth opened but, for the first time, her lips closed. She looked down and, ashamed, even looked away. The dragon had never spoken up about himself. About what he deserved or wanted. Always so receptive to the others without much of a suggestion as to what he desired.

"I care about her more than I care about myself," Spike began as he turned to the door. "That goes with most ponies. But even I have a limit. Not out of anger. Nothing like that." He breathed the cool air of the outside. "But I can only handle being weak for so long before I collapse. And I'm at that point now."

He didn't leave right away. Knowing it wouldn't be right. Waiting and waiting.

"Y-You're... right, darling." Rarity sighed behind him. "In truth, you were a little too good for your own good. Please take good care of yourself but, at the same time, don't disregard anything I said." There were hoofsteps, and in the next second, forelegs wrapping around his waist. "I love you, my Spikey-Wiley."

His claw lowered and fell over her hoof, able to hold it, squeeze it, naturally, and all without a breakdown. It still warmed him on the inside. Evoked that scary feeling within him. But now that it was tamed, it felt good, pleasant, a different source of energy.

"Love you too, Rarity."

"Make me a promise?"

"Sure."

"Promise not to have too much fun without us."

"Shouldn't make me promise to do that which is impossible—that's a waste of a wish."

"Love you, Spike."

"Love you again, Rarity."

Author's Note

Maaaaaan I suck at updating content on time. Were this a little while ago—I would be ahead on my routine. But a few setbacks from life—and addiction to VR—have caused me to falter in things I really shouldn't have.

We're nearing the final stretch of the story, though.

Hope you dear readers have been enjoying it. Please feel free to comment and all of that. And... yeah.

Later gang.

~ Yr. Pal, B ~