I Dreamt I was a Monster

Chapter 1: Shattered

The classroom was as silent as a tomb besides the occasional scratch of a pencil. It did nothing to defeat the silence deafening Silver Streak. His heart raced as he held his head in his hooves. No matter how hard he stared at the test, he couldn’t summon the answers from nothingness.

Silver had been so sure his plan was flawless. The last few tests were easy. He had even answered a few questions wrong. But this wasn’t the right test. Did Starswirl know?

Silver gazed over his hunched classmates towards the front of the room. There behind an oak desk as ancient as the teacher sitting behind it was Starswirl. The bearded grey stallion’s eyes burned like azure fire. They bore deep into him, sending Silver’s heart thundering like a drumroll in his ears.

It was too much. It was as if Starswirl read him like an open book. Silver knew he had to look somewhere else or he would blurt his crimes just to get the teacher to stop staring. Silver could feel himself melting under that gaze.

Silver wiped sweat from his brow as he broke from the impromptu staring contest.

“Meet-” Starswirl mouthed, catching Silver’s attention before he could gaze back to his paper.

“-me-” Starswirl continued. Silver knew the next words before his lips formed the dreaded words. “-after class.”

Minutes… hours… days later - or at least what it felt like - Silver turned in the test. With a cautious look behind him, he realized he was the last in line, and the only one still in class. Sheepishly, he faced the old unicorn teacher.

Silver’s stomach was wound tight enough to be used as a bowling ball. It certainly felt like he had swallowed one.

Starswirl took one glance at the blank test and gave a tired, sad chuckle. “So all it took was one pop quiz?”

“Pop quiz!?” Silver blurted. “But you sai-”

“I said a big test could be today. But that was before I noticed a pattern,” Starswirl said with a curt snort. He rose from his seat to loom over Silver. “Young stallion, how did one of my C- and D-grade students ace the last three tests?”

Silver took a step back. His tongue fumbled in his mouth to let noise, any noise, escape. Silver’s efforts were coming undone. They were already undone. There was no chance of lying his way out. Silver hadn’t even considered the possibility of getting caught. With no good excuses prepared all that was left was, “I cheated.”

Starswirl inhaled and sucked the air from the room. Silver closed his eyes and waited for the yelling.

Silver shifted from hoof to hoof as his heart raced and shoulder’s ached. A scoldinging rebuke or the orders to just leave and never come back wouldn’t compare to just waiting. When the tirade never arrived, Silver peeked his eyes open to a neutral Starswirl.

“And how?” Starswirl asked after a moment, calm and collected. Silver hadn’t expected that question. “An answer key is impossible, I don’t reuse tests. Your pop-quizzes and in-class work are still C grade at best. But your homework and scheduled tests are past even my best students.”

“Past… your best?” Silver asked, struggling to catch his breath. He had to play this safe. Just one signature from Starswirl, and he would be expelled.

“This is Advanced Magics and Arcane Theory, not magic kindergarten. Of course no one is making above an A-minus. Even with your grades, I still think you’re a good student. Why cheat? And you still haven’t answered how.”

Silver grit his teeth. “Magic is impossible to learn from dusty, boring old books. I can follow along just fine with the practical and hooves-on stuff… but give me a book and I freeze.”

Silver’s horn flared as he pulled an orb from his saddlebag. It was about the size of a large orange. It was perfectly smooth and made of stone that was milk white. It shone with pearlescence under the light. “So… I made this.”

Starswirl reached out with his magic to examine the orb. As soon as he made the connection, his eyes shot wide open. “We’re going straight to the Princess. This is incredible.”

Princess Twilight’s massive throne room echoed with the sound of laughter. The spread of food on the checkered cloth in the middle of the room was as wide and varied as the friends joining her. There were cakes and sweet treats courtesy of Pinkie Pie. Rarity had provided a marvelous array of dainty desserts. Fluttershy and Applejack had worked together to fill an entire basket with apples and cucumber sandwiches. Then there was Rainbow Dash’s contribution.

Twilight hadn’t expected the alcohol. Twilight wasn’t a fan of it, but had grown a taste for the wine other nobles insisted on bringing to events. And as far as Twilight knew, none of the girls were heavy drinkers outside of holidays. But not today. Everypony had a drink with the exception of Pinkie Pie. The pink mare with a frizzy darker pink mane was content with a large wine glass full of cream soda and a curly straw.

Much like a holiday, though, it was an exceptional day. Ever since ascending to the throne as Princess of all Equestria nearly three years ago, Twilight found herself living for the exceptions. With the monotony that came with keeping a kingdom running, there was little free time to spend with her friends. And what time she did spend with them became shorter and shorter and far too infrequent for her liking.

“So, there I was,” Rainbow Dash said as she stood up among the sitting girls, tipping into Fluttershy who propped her up with a wing. Rainbow gave a nod of thanks and flicked an errant string of rainbow mane out of her face with a hoof. “Just me and AJ-”

“AJ and I,” Twilight corrected with a polite smile, sipping the last drops of wine from her glass.

“Right, yeah, but still... Just AJ and I, in the middle of the west field in the dead of night.” Rainbow Dash looked to Applejack who was wiping fritter crumbs off her muzzle. “Was this before or after the part where you broke your leg… no, wait, my version is better. Anyways, Applejack’s leg is super busted. Then we hear it… pause for dramatic effect.”

“H-heard what?” Fluttershy asked, letting her wing drop from Rainbow’s side so she could cower behind Rarity.

“AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Applejack howled as she leapt to her hooves. The other girls leapt with her.

Rainbow Dash took to the air and shouted over the howling, “The BIGGEST timberwolf ever! It was THIS huge!”

Twilight was utterly entranced by this version of the story. It had certainly grown in scale from the last retelling. It went from wagon to almost barn sized from how high Rainbow Dash flew.

Twilight figured a few more retellings would warrant installing a skylight. Though, she wished she could have seen it herself.

But while she was running the royal court, her friends were having adventures like old times.

“What I wouldn’t give for just one more,” Twilight muttered under her breath, looking into her empty glass.

“What was that?” Rarity asked. Her gaze swayed just as much as her hips. She was levitating an open and nearly empty bottle of bourbon. She eyed Twilight’s empty glass and tittered. “Darling, it’s simply a faux pas to drink your home liquor when someone else brought such a wonderful brand. Here.”

Before Twilight could object, Rarity nearly filled the wine glass to the brim with bourbon.

“Thanks?” Twilight said in a tone that was more of a question. “How much have you had to drink?”

Rarity chuckled, hugging Twilight with one foreleg and drinking straight from the still open bottle. “Oh, just somewhere between a little and a lot. It is a party after all. And it’s dedicated all to you. Now, let’s hear the ending, that’s the best part.”

Rarity broke from the hug as Rainbow Dash landed on the floor. Rainbow did her best expression of a timberwolf yelping and cowering like a puppy before boldly claiming, “And the moral of the story is don’t mess with the Dash.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. Dash was still Dash, no matter how infrequently Twilight saw her. “I guess some things never change.”

Twilight sipped the liquor, frowned, and decided it wasn’t for her. Squinting her eyes, Twilight focused on a spell she had learned recently. When she opened them, both the glass and the liquor it held were gone.

“Not to your liking?” Rarity asked.

Twilight shook her head and looked to the rest of her friends. She spotted Applejack and Dash side by side. Applejack turned her head towards Dash and kissed her cheek.

That was certainly new.

“Dash?” Twilight asked, catching her attention. “Did AJ just kiss you?”

Rainbow Dash swiftly flew over to land near Twilight, and Applejack joined them. “Yep, me n’ AJ aren't exactly keeping it a secret. But we aren’t announcing it everywhere we go.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged and threw a foreleg over Applejack, pulling the orange mare close. “We’ve been talking about moving in together so I can help on the farm.”

“Didn’t anypony tell you?” Rarity asked. Twilight responded no.

“Oooh, oooh! Should I throw a ‘Welcome to the farm!’ party?” Pinkie Pie quickly asked, popping between Applejack and Rainbow to force a group hug.

Rainbow Dash snorted and pulled away from the unexpected appearance of Pinkie. “Heck yeah. And there’ll be cider for sure.”

Pinkie Pie rubbed her chin. “Alcoholic or regular?”

“Alcoholic,” Rainbow said. “AJ and I even brought a whole mini-keg for you, but you haven’t touched it all day. Something wrong?”

Pinkie Pie’s ears folded back as she looked away, rubbing a foreleg. The other girls in the room had walked over to join the conversation. “Well, you see… oh, good, everypony’s listening. I’ve been keeping a secret from you girls for a while now. I was waiting until we all met up.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Pinkie keeping a secret, that’s…”

Twilight’s mouth slackened as things began to click into place. No alcohol, and every time she had seen Pinkie since her inauguration as Princess, Pinkie had mentioned her husband Cheese Sandwich.

A stunned silence fell over the throne room before Pinkie giggled. “Yep. I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what?” Twilight asked in bewilderment. Most of her friends had shouted the same thing.

Pinkie looked at them and smiled. “Well, Cheese and I both love kids and think it’s a good time. With Twilight running the kingdom, when isn’t it?”

Fluttershy squealed loud enough for everypony to look at her as she pranced on her hooves. “Oh my goodness! This is so exciting! Discord and I were just talking about kids the other day, and now you’re pregnant!”

“Wow,” Applejack said. “Yer a right mighty excited there, Fluttershy. Heck, I’d wager you seem more excited than Pinkie right now.” Applejack tipped her large stetson hat. “Congratulations by the way. Got any names planned?”

“Well, I have a couple,” Pinkie said, “but I’m keeping it a surprise until we find out if it’s a colt or a filly.”

Twilight was about to join in on the congratulations but was cut off by a flash of magic behind her that made them all jump. The unmistakable voice of Starswirl echoed out, “Princess Twili- I’m standing in potato salad.”

Twilight had already turned around by the time he spoke to face Starswirl. She was tall enough to meet the mage eye to eye. Beside him was a young silver stallion barely older than a colt. Looking at Starswirl’s hooves, he was indeed correct. He had teleported into the potato salad bowl.

“Starswirl, hey,” Princess Twilight said, backing away a few steps. “The girls and I are in the middle of something. Is there an emergency?”

“Oh come on,” Rainbow Dash complained. “Work on your day off? Don’t you have people to handle emergencies for you now, Princess?”

Starswirl gave a stilted laugh as he wiped his hooves on his robes. “My mistake, but I must get this to the Princess. It’s an amazing and powerful discovery.”

Using a bit of telekinesis, he pushed the silver stallion forward, who himself levitated an apple-sized sphere of polished white stone. “Feel the magic in that orb. This young stallion built it.”

Twilight slowly took the orb in her magic, feeling the surprising resistance to her spell. Whatever material it was made from was dense. Focusing on it, she could feel it thrum in response to her probing. It was practically as powerful as an artifact of ancient Equestria.

“He built this?” Twilight asked, looking to the stallion. He blushed and looked away. “It feels like one of your constructs. What does it do?”

Starswirl opened his mouth, then closed it. He scratched his beard before admitting with a shrug, “Actually, I hadn’t asked for details. He just used it to cheat on my exams.”

The sound Twilight made was like somepony had tackled her. “What!? Cheated on your exams?”

Starswirl shut Twilight’s mouth with a telekinetic grip before she could go on a rant. “We can discuss that later. Silver Streak, could you please explain to the Princess how you made this, and what it does exactly?”

Silver Streak gave a slow nod, levitating the orb over to himself. With a flourish, Silver waved a forehoof. “I call it the ‘Mirror Marble’, all you need to do is focus on an idea or concept.”

Silver sat in front of the girls and held the crystal between his forehooves, bowing his head. “When you concentrate, it will show you reflections of other worlds… hence the name, Mirror Marble.”

Twilight saw Starswirl nodding in thought in time with her own nods as she listened to the explanation. She grinned. “Sounds like a certain mirror I’ve fallen through.”

Silver smiled up from his seat on the floor. “Oh yes. I based the enchantment off what I learned from Starswirl’s notes. You can find fragments scattered all over the archive. That place really needs some organizing.”

Starswirl let out a humph. “And this is from the young stallion who said you couldn’t learn from old books.”

Silver blushed, setting the orb aside to rub the back of his head. “Y-yeah. I guess so.”

Twilight levitated the orb over to herself, admiring the gleam of the polished stone. “I’m amazed you put so much effort into not putting in effort.” She set the orb aside and placed a gentle hoof on his shoulder. “Taking the short road, no matter how easy you think it is, isn’t worth it. In the end you’ve shown you have the capability to do great feats of magic. And to make this, you had to put in a lot of time and effort, right?”

Silver nodded.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to study for the tests?” Twilight asked.

Silver turned almost cherry red. “Well, you see… there are other reasons to want an orb that can show you any reality you can imagine.”

With the alcohol and excitement fogging her brain, it took Twilight a second to realize what the young stallion meant. Stepping back, her lavender face was cherry red. Silver was a young stallion. A young stallion around that age. “Right… right.”

“But be careful with it,” Silver said in a low, hushed voice. “There are some things you can’t unsee.”

Starswirl cleared his throat. “Well, with that said, it appears I’ve interrupted your picnic. Silver and I need to get back to class to discuss some things. I trust you to keep the orb safe for now. In the meantime, this young colt needs a lesson in, er, modesty. Farewell.”

“Goodbye, Starswirl.”

In a flash of magic, Starswirl and Silver disappeared.

Rainbow Dash’s laugh reverberated off the walls. “Did you see the look on your face when you realized… hahahahah! Priceless.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Oh ha-ha… you’d probably use it for the same-”

“Yep,” Rainbow Dash said. Twilight put a hoof to her temple and groaned.

Rarity eyed the orb with a sparkle in her eyes. “I could observe the fashions of strange new realms and get some inspiration for my own. Twilight did say the people from the world she was sent to were dressed all the time.”

“Oooh, oooh,” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing in front of Twilight as she flailed a hoof in the air. “Can I try it? It looks like fun. I want to see a world where everything is candy.”

Fluttershy smiled a gentle smile and said in wonder, “Or you could see what your child will look like.”

“That would just ruin the surprise for me,” Pinkie countered. “This is a little gift to me. I plan on waiting nine whole months for it, and not a moment sooner.”

Twilight bit her bottom lip, looking between her friends and the orb. “I mean… what if it’s dangerous? We don’t know much more than ‘Mirror Marble’ and it’s based on Starswirl’s Magic.”

Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Come on, Twi… that colt was using it like a swimsuit magazine. It can’t be that dangerous. He’s just embarrassed that his mouth was working faster than his brain. We’re all adult mares here, raise a hoof if you ever were caught by your parents when you hit that age?”

Rainbow was the first to raise her hoof, followed by everypony else one after the other.

“See,” Rainbow laughed, “and we also won’t know if it’s dangerous if we don’t do the sciency egghead thing.”

“You do have a point,” Twilight said with a defeated shake of her head and a smile. “We could run some tests.”

Twilight considered all the scientific breakthroughs that could be made. “And it’ll be fun to observe how different types of ponies interact with it. If earth ponies and pegasi can interact with it… there are so many questions to answer.”

Twilight’s smile fell at the tipped over bowl of potato salad. “After we clean up, of course.”

Twilight paced back and forth in the middle of the waiting room. Every breath of the cold hospital air smelled of cleaning chemicals and disinfectant. Combined with the grating buzz of the overhead lights, Twilight could barely keep focused.

Blood pouring from the eyes, ears, nose… so much blood.

“She’ll be fine… she’ll be fine… there are plenty of good doctors here. This is Canterlot. We have the best.” The knots in her stomach made her sick, even as she pondered who they would need.. Were there any specialists they could call in? And Canterlot Medical had psychiatrists… or would she need brain injury specialists?

Twilight nearly fell over as her head rushed with the fresh memory of screams of pain and blood. Shaking it off, Twilight spoke to herself. “She was the last to go… I even used it. Why did it go so badly?”

“I dunno, sugarcube,” Applejack said. Twilight jerked in fright. She had forgotten her friend had sat so close. Applejack was on a bench hugging Rainbow Dash who hadn’t stopped crying. From their seats on benches and chairs, Twilight could see the other girls were just as upset.

The jiggle of a door handle nearly gave Twilight whiplash. The door to the intensive care unit swung open, and Twilight met Discord’s red eyes. The large draconequus had a scowl dominating his long dark grey face. His mismatched shoulders were drooped like overweight tree limbs as he loomed in the doorframe. He spoke softly, and seriously. “The doctors have moved her into the room now. They told me to tell everypony that they’re doing everything they can.”

Twilight asked the question she had been hoping to ask for the last three hours. “Were you able to help?”

Discord’s shoulders tensed and nostrils flared like a bull. He shook his head, teeth bared.

“But your magic is-”

Twilight was cut off as Discord launched forwards and slammed her into the wall by the throat. The heavy impact caught her off guard and pain roared through her back. It had been hard enough to send plaster chips raining down like snow. She tried to shout out for him to stop, but she could barely swallow in breath as Discord made a noise that was something more primordial than a snarl. It was more felt than heard.

“Fluttershy could have DIED!” Discord seethed. “I’m oh so powerful and I can’t do anything to help her. The magic is chaotic, but it’s beyond me. I could try something, but 'Princess', sometimes when you fight fire with fire, all you end up with is a bigger fire.”

Twilight understood Discord’s rage. She was the Princess of a whole kingdom and a master of magic. Yet she was just as powerless. She beat her hooves against the lion arm pinning her to the wall while choking and coughing.

Twilight tried to get words out and let him know how she felt, how she was just as scared of being so powerful and ageless and unable to save the ones she loved.

Streaking like a lightning bolt, Rainbow Dash flew in between her and Discord, slamming a hoof into his face. “Let her go, you mismatched lizard!”

Discord dropped Twilight and held his nose. He looked between Twilight and the rest of the girls with sudden realization. “I’m sorry, I didn’t… I love her… and..”

Twilight rose to her hooves, rubbing her throat. “I know. And I know you feel just as scared and confused as I do. More than you expect. But we can’t stand out here and fight with each other. What did the doctors say?”

Discord snapped his fingers, fixing the wall and cleaning all the plaster off of Twilight in a flash.

“Thank you,” a stallion said from behind Discord as he entered. He was a dark purple, almost black unicorn with a washed out rainbow mane. The white coat he wore covered his cutie mark. Adjusting his glasses with his magic, the middle aged stallion said, “I can answer that.”

“I’m Dr. Wide Scope. Fluttershy has already been moved from the ER to the ICU beyond this waiting room. She’s stable, but still unconscious and being monitored. We’re doing all we can to provide her the best care available.”

Pinkie Pie pounced from her seat on the couch, grabbing the doctor by the shoulders and asking right to his face, “When can we see her?”

Dr. Scope gave a small frown and gently pushed Pinkie Pie back with a hoof. “I know all of you are going through a tough moment. Fluttershy is in a state we want to monitor her. Unfortunately, that means you need to wait until tomorrow before we’ll be comfortable enough to allow visitors. ”

Twilight shook her head slowly. She still had duties in the Palace to attend to. And a mess to clean up. “Can my friends sleep overnight here?”

Dr. Scope nodded. “Yes. We’ll even provide pillows and blankets.”

Walking over to Twilight’s side, Applejack asked, “So yer not stayin’? I noticed ya kinda said ‘my friends’ instead of ‘us’.”

Twilight let out a long sigh. “Today was the one day I set aside for just us girls. I have to go back to let important ponies know I need a few more days off. But I’ll be back as soon as I can. Promise.”

Twilight stood in front of the double doors to her throne room. Trepidation rooted her to the spot. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself to go back in.

The doors were immensely heavy in her magical grip. Just pulling them open was a monumental task in her distracted state. Entering her throne room, Twilight laid eyes on the half-dozen or so fragments of the orb scattered on the floor.

Past them was where Fluttershy had fallen. Twilight could still see it… Fluttershy calmly sitting down with the orb to take her turn. It went wrong from there. At first came a single shrill yelp of pain before she dropped the orb and it shattered. Then Fluttershy was gasping for breath between agonized groans of pain. Not even seconds after that she wept and coughed blood, with even more gushing from her nose.

Fluttershy had collapsed by that point. That was when she lost control of her bowels. Twilight would have thought Fluttershy was dead if she hadn’t screamed like she was being burned alive.

The lightheadedness hit Twilight like a brick as the fresh memory wormed its way to the front of her brain in all its gory, crisp details. It was harder to forget with the smell still hanging in the air from the blood and waste.

Pools of both stained a large patch on the floor and the long royal carpet that led to her throne. There was a faint outline of a pony in the center.

“I should have teleported her to the hospital sooner,” Twilight said through clenched teeth. “I shouldn’t have panicked. I’m the Princess of Equestria, not a foal. It’s not like the life of my friends hasn't been in danger before.”

Still, of all the adventures and dangerous situations Twilight had been in, nothing she had encountered had been that visceral. Today was supposed to have been a special day. From Pinkie’s announcement to all the girls being together again.

“I should have known it would go downhill,” Twilight growled at herself. “How could I be so stupid?”

Twilight looked at the mess with a deep sigh. Most of her staff and servants had been given the day off so Twilight could enjoy just one day alone with her friends. Even Spike, her dragon assistant, was out of town. Memories of past adventures and days off like this played in Twilight’s mind as she tried to distract herself with cleaning one spot over and over again.

Even as Twilight burned the stains out with magic, she knew that the memory of the stains would linger far longer than the physical ones.

“I need to talk to Celestia and Luna,” Twilight told herself. She tried to make a mental note to tell Spike to send a letter to the former rulers when he returned. “They might have advice.”

Seeing that the spot she was focused on cleaning looked almost new, Twilight quickly cleaned up the rest of the mess. That just left the fragments of the sphere.

Sweeping them into a box for later solved the problem. At least until Twilight could get some sleep. Collapsing into the plush cushion of her throne, Twilight looked out at the vast empty room.

The magical lights had dimmed themselves, giving the room an eerie atmosphere Twilight hadn’t noticed until sitting down. The smooth, polished walls were decorated with stained glass mosaics dedicated to past adventures with her friends.

The tempered windows only served to make Twilight feel even more alone.

She had felt alone since her coronation as Princess of Equestria. The staff and servants were here, sure, but they were just employees. They weren't her best, most trusted friends.

The weight of her mental exhaustion kept her anchored to the cushion until she drifted into a restless sleep.

Twilight sat on a dune overlooking a vast desert. The smell of magic filled the air. It was calm and comforting. The moon overhead was large and full, but there were no stars in the inky black void. As Twilight realized this, a large lavender scarab crawled past her with a horde of small red scarabs in tow.

She followed the group as they marched over the desert sands to the top of a taller dune where the scarabs took flight. The glimmering red shells twinkled and lit up the night as each scarab became a star.

Enraptured by curiosity, Twilight lay in the sand to look up and count each one.

“...nine-hundred and ninety-eight, nine-hundred and ninety-nine, one thousand.”

A thousand stars joining the moon to light the galaxy aflame.