The chaos of man

I walked into the town square then I asked myself 'ok then now why did I come to town' I then just started walking around and ponies said hi to me and smiled at me I felt at home. I walked around sweet apple acres and then I struck an idea...

 I floated to a tree and sat in it I made an rainbow dash shaped decoy in the ten biggest trees. The decoys where ridiculously realistic also it was apple bucking season aj got tithe first decoy she then said

"Not again rainbow get out of that tree i need to buck it!"

She waited and then went to the next tree and muttered something about you better learn you're limits dash and then went to the next tree witch also had a 'dashcoy' in it but she caught on too quickly

"Austin get these decoys out uh mah trees"

"dang it! I guess it's true that you can tell a lie about 10 feet away."

I replied as I snapped my fingers getting rid of the decoys

"yep they where verry live-like though, so whatcha doin round these parts anyway"

"believe it or not I asked myself the same question a minuet ago to be honest"

"well thats downright strange but ah believe ya"

"well a walk around is always nice though"

"ah think ya might want to check in on twilight she said something about you're book selling like crazy"

"hmmm that's always nice maybe i can get a few bits from it because I have exactly 0 at the moment"

"how have you been eat'n an building your house then"

"funny thing celestia let me borrow a few tools to build it with and gave me a rather large piece of land to build on anyway I think I'll be going now"

"Ok then bye Austin have ah nice day"

And I tried teleporting I snapped my fingers and was gone I arrived at the door to the library and arrived thare just as twilight was leaving needless to say she was supprised

" AHH! Oh it's you"

"I'm not sure if I should mark this trial of teleporting as a success or not how about you?"

"I guess it is a success but is that what you came to ask me about?"

"no actually I heard that our book was selling well and was wondering if you received bits for it yet?"

"well actually I was just heading out to give you the bits the princess sent me from the book sales."

"Oh then I saved you some walking then"

I took the bag from her levitational grasp and dropped the bag. It was HEAVY so I asked ,

"how many bits are in here, 472,825,480!?"

"actually exactly that many"

"ok that's a lot of money! I think this will be more than enough for at LEAST 100 years, even if I'm foolish with it!"

"that's fairly accurate it was so large she actually had to have some armored guards carry it"

"Well I think I'm going to teleport this home now do you have a spell for that if I have a backbone of a spell I think I can find a way to convert it to use chaos instead of harmony.

"sure it's just like this"

She showed me a book on teleportation and in an hour I had it down. I teleported the bag into my bacement in a hole too small for any pony to fit in.(I maybe in equestria but something just tells me that even this place has problems) I said "Auf Wietersehn" to twilight and started walking to no place in particular.

I eventually found myself back at sweet apple acres (go figure) I thought to my self "do all roads in ponyville eventually lead to this place?" and saw that the apples where working a small tavern out of their barn and I decided to check it out. I walked in the door and sat down at the bar. Applejack greeted me and said,

"Howdy Austin, how are ya?"

"I'm doing good AJ how about you?"

"well if ponies keep coming in tonight like they are now I'll say we'll be doin pretty darn good!"

"that's good what do ya serve here anyways"

"well we serve a lot of stuff, mostly apple related liquor at this hour though like sour apple whiskey, hard apple cider, a few beers, and all of our apple pastries of course , so whatal ya have?"

"hmmm it all looks good, what do you recommend?"

"well the whiskey might be a little strong for ya so I reccomend the cider."

"is that a challenge?" I said with a smirk

"well only if your pony enough"

"oh come on now your just egging me on!"

"well then what'll it be?"

"I'll have a pint of cider then I'll beat your flank in a whiskey drinking contest" I said with a competitive smile

"Bring it two legs!"

I drank my cider and it reminded me of a beer that my dad let my try back on Earth, it was a cider that reminded one of beer, not the other way around. So I turned to AJ and said,

"now let's get this party started!"

Pinkie popped up beside me and said

"What party!?!?"

"just an expression pinkie"

"oh, are you having a drinking contest with AJ? Because I wanted to tell you that they get really expensive if you don't pass out early on and then you might have to..."

I cut her off

"yes pinkie and I know my limits and it's all in good fun right AJ?"

"eeyep"

And pinkie disappeared into thin air I muttered "well I guess that's pinkie for ya." And AJ and I started the contest. The whiskey tasted like well whiskey (about a 60 proof whiskey) and sour apples it made my lips pucker more than it made my throat burn. We where on our 20th round of shots and a small crowd had gathered it appeared that they where making bets on who would lose most bet on AJ winning and the ones who where staggering bet on me. This went my for sometimes around 30 more rounds and then...