Snickers: On the Road

“Ahh, breakfast, the most important meal of the day… right along with the rest.” Snickers said as he took his seat. The others agreed with him and began talking about whatever crossed their minds. “Kiwe, do you wanna play at the park today? I made a couple friends that might like to meet a unique pony like you.”

Kiwe smiled. “I am not for show, but I still will go. Playing in a park sounds fun, I do not wish you to be the only one.”

“I’m not asking you to come so you can be some sideshow, just come along for fun. There’s a cute filly that you might like, she’s into magic and she’s not even a unicorn.” Snickers offered.

Kiwe thought it over. “Perhaps she likes mixing herbs into potions, I would like to meet her for that, if nothing else.”

“Great, I ask you to play and you make it into an alchemy lesson,” Snickers said in good humor.

Kiwe shrugged. “It is important to know these things, especially in these wilds.”

“Wilds?” Snickers asked. “I haven’t seen a single monster since we entered the Forest of Woe.”

Kiwe picked up a spoon in his magic and pointed it at his friend, playfully waving it. “The Forest of Woe was only the start of our journey, who is to say what dangers are yet to come? Perhaps a dragon will attack while we eat breakfast or some other calamity will befall us all before lunch.”

Snickers snickered. “That sounds like Ponyville, not any other town in the world. C’mon, you have to admit, Ponyville is a nexus of weirdness.”

Kiwe rotated the spoon in the air and set it back into it’s place on the table. “You are not wrong.”

“Hey, Kiwe,” Cress called out, “how about we look for something to hold your potions? It’ll be a lot more convenient than digging for them when we need them, right?”

Kiwe nodded. “That is a good idea. I will go shopping with you after we eat to use our time to its fullest.”

“...so, like, what’s the big deal with earrings, Cress?” Silver spoke up to get their conversation back on track. “They’re pretty, but don’t they hurt? I heard they mess up your hearing when you’re older. I don’t wanna be deaf before I’m twenty.”

Cress sighed. “You’re six, right? Because you’re asking questions a two year old would… But no, they don’t hurt and don’t mess up your hearing. I have ear piercing holes for studs or loops and they don’t even show up because of my fur. I got them when I was… recently.”

Diamond glared at the batpony. “So, why don’t you tell us how old you are then, hrm?”

Cress hesitated a split second then answered, “Seven. I’m still in school, after all.”

“Really?” Diamond challenged. “And what school is that, again? I don’t remember you telling us when you showed up out of nowhere while we were in the castle.”

Cress looked into Diamond’s eyes. “Night school, it’s not well known because the rest of canterlot is well asleep by the time it's in session. Only thestrals go to it, at night.”

“Right, and I have udders! Why don’t you admit you’re a spy, already?!” Diamond shouted at the bat filly.

“I’m not a spy! Why are you so mean to me? I haven’t done anything to you,” Cress shouted back.

The restaurant had fallen silent at the filly’s contest, but after several seconds the background noise resumed.

“Girls,” Silver Spoon started, “whatever’s been going on between you two has to stop. It’s totally uncool and stressing us out, so why don’t you go outside and talk it over before you become enemies, or something.”

Diamond pushed her chair back and hopped to the floor. “I think we’re already enemies. I know your secret, Cress, if that’s even your real name.”

“Fine, let’s go outside and talk this out, with our hooves,” Cress said, flapping to fly off her seat to the floor.

Snickers pushed his chair back and moved between the fillies. “What the hell is wrong with you two?! You’ve been ignoring one another since we left Canterlot and now, suddenly, you want to fight? Is this how mares are supposed to act with colts around?”

Cress didn’t react while Diamond faltered. “But, she’s a liar! She’s been keeping secrets from us from the start and I know one of them! She’s been sent by Luna to spy on us, tell them, you know it’s true!”

“That’s it, outside!” Snickers snapped and pointed to the exit door. Both fillies cantered to the door scowling at one another the whole way.

They bumped into the closed door before pushing it open and shoving one another as they went out. The restaurant was again quiet as they watched the fillies stand in front of the window and start shouting at one another. Diamond was the first to shove Cress, who tackled the pink filly from view of the front window.

After several seconds of slapping each other around, two guards ran up and separated the fillies. Everypony watched as they fought to get to one another from the guards’ magic. Snickers watched with relative neutrality as the duo were hauled away, still shouting at one another.

“Why am I not surprised that that’s how it ended?” Silver Spoon deadpanned. “So, are we skipping breakfast to bail them out?”

Snickers climbed back into his chair. “Nope, I think they’ll have a heart to heart and make up in jail… or they’ll try to kill each other when they’re in there. A couple hours in a cell will do them good, anyway.”

“That’s kinda cold of you,” Gil commented, “I like it.”

Their food arrived shortly after and Blackbook had to pack up the missing fillies’ meals into small boxes.

“Okay,” Kiwe said once he was done, “shall we go to gather our friends?”

“I don’t think so, let’s go look for that vial potion holder thing you were talking about,” Snickers said.

Kiwe looked dubious. “If you insist, perhaps we can make a list?”

“No need. C’mon, Silver, let’s go shopping.” Snickers said as he got off his chair.

…

“You think you know everything? You should know to keep your pink muzzle out of my business!” Cress shouted, gathering attention from passers by.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, not when you have secrets that could hurt Snickers,” Diamond countered.

“Your little colt is some pampered baby you only use for his dick now that you’re having sex. Admit it, you’re just a typical sun loving filly.” Cress spat.

Diamond reared up and shoved Cress back two steps. Cress gasped and rushed towards Diamond, tackling the filly to the ground. She locked Diamond in a headlock and brought her forehoof up for a slap, only for a pink shield to appear where the strike would have hit. A gem on Diamond’s tiara glowed almost too faintly to be seen and went unnoticed.

Diamond brought her elbow up and struck Cress in the belly. Cress tightened her grip and picked Diamond off the ground. “Put me down, you bitch!” Diamond managed before she shrieked.

Diamond’s side hit the ground with a heavy thud, air rushing from her lungs. She rolled to her hooves and spun around, bucking at Cress; just missing the bat filly.

Cress ducked under the kick and leapt up, grappling Diamond’s hind quarters. “Going down?” She said and twisted, forcing the pink filly’s face into the dirt. “That shield doesn't work if you’re falling, huh?” Keeping the hold, Cress opened her wings and used a flap to hover in the air only for Diamond to curl up and strike under herself, right into Cress’s belly.

They both fell to the ground and groaned. Diamond’s snout was bleeding slightly while Cress sat and held her belly. They met eyes and growled, getting to their hooves. “I hate you!”

“I hate you too!”

They screamed and reared up wheeling their forelegs as they hobbled towards one another, ready to start a slapfight.

“Hold it right there!” A stallion shouted as both fillies were wrapped in magic and hauled into the air. “Fighting in public is against Lorde’s law. Where are your parents?”

“Equestria!” Both fillies shouted as they swung at one another from several feet apart. Cress’s wings were magically bound to her sides by one of the guards.

“So you’re on a journey without adult supervision? You’ll have to come with us then.” Taking the fillies with them, the guards left the restaurant’s front and went deeper into town.

“This is all your fault!” Diamond shouted.

“My fault? You’re the one who called me out, I was going to have cricket pancakes. Do you know how hard it is to get cricket pancakes?!” Cress retorted.

“That’s gross. You’re gross! Don’t ever talk to me again!” Diamond commanded.

“Fine, don’t talk to me again!”

“Fine.

“Fine!”

Both fillies crossed their forelegs and looked away from one another as they were levitated towards the local guard building.

“Two fighting fillies caught in the act outside the restaurant, Sarge.” The guard holding Diamond announced.

“Put them in cells one and two, let’m cool off.” Sarge said as he looked at the bat filly intently. “Do we need a muzzle for the black one?”

“I don’t think that would be a bad idea, we don’t know if she’s a vampony or just a tribe we haven’t seen before.”

“They’re from Equestria,” the guard holding Cress announced.

“Great, travelers bringing their problems to our town. Just muzzle her so she doesn’t bite anypony and lock her in one.” Sarge said.

“That’s racist, you jerk! I’m not a vampony and I don’t drink pony blood.” Cress snapped before a muzzle wrapped itself over her own muzzle.”

“Good, now she can’t bite me from the next cell,” Diamond said. “Thanks, she’s a dangerous individual, after all.”

Sarge snorted. “Don’t start with me, Equestrian, I’ve seen your types before, always making a big show about where you’re from and how better you think you are than us. Trixie’s the perfect example. Keep your mouth closed and your tail between your legs, or we’ll have to muzzle you, too.”

Staying silent, Diamond nodded and was set on the floor. “Good, now both of you will come with us to the cells until we deem you have cooled off enough or Trixie comes to get you,” the guard holding her said. Another used a wing restraint to hold Cress’s wings down as they passed.

Moving to a back room made of heavy stone with metal bars separating several cells, each occupied. Placing the fillies into their cells, the doors were locked and the fillies were left alone as the guards moved back to the front rooms. The mare sharing a cell with Diamond looked at her from her bed and sighed.

“A filly? What’d you do, rob an apple from the market? Name’s Blue, who’re you and what’d you do?”

Diamond looked at the earth pony mare, then to the bars that separated her from Cress and the rest of the rabble. Most ponies were sleeping while others were clearly mumbling to themselves, groaning about hangovers. “I’m Diamond Tiara and I got into a fight with her,” Diamond pointed to Cress, who was sitting against a wall pawing at her muzzled muzzle.

“So,” Blue said rolling to her belly and then sitting up, “you got into a fight and got bit? What kind of pony… what’s wrong with her wings?”

“She’s a thestral, a bat pony. She drinks pony blood to survive so she had to be muzzled,” Diamond said.

“I call bullshit on her being a cannibal, but bat pony I believe. I’ve never seen her tribe, she’s exotic; you could sell that as a street show,” Blue offered.

“I’d rather not be treated like a low class citizen,” Cress mumbled. “Don’t listen to her, she’s an idiot. Who’s this sleeping in my cell?”

“That’s Glass Bender, he’s sleeping off drinking last night, like most of us. Civil or not, they sell good alcohol here.” Blue said.

Glass’s tail flopped from the bed and spilled onto the floor, white as snow. “Shuddup,” he said.

Cress tried to flex her wings, grunting as they couldn’t open. “Listen to him, Diamond, he’s smarter than you are.”

Diamond turned to Cress. “Would you shut up already?!” She shouted as the room filled with groans. “Can you just stop talking for a minute while I try to figure out a way to get Snickers to understand you don’t belong with us?”

Cress got up and marched to the bars. “What do you have against me? Is it because I’m not a normal pony? Is it because I prefer bugs to fish? Is it my coloration, because I know some ponies have a problem with my colors; scares them, scares you, right?”

Diamond scoffed. “I don’t have a problem with how you look, I have a problem with you! What’re you hiding? Why are you after Snickers? Why did you follow us? If you’re really a filly on a journey with us to get your mark, why don’t you talk about yourself? Wait, you never said you were trying to get your mark!”

Cress rolled her eyes. “I’m here because Snickers interested me and his imaginary friend that claims to be Princess Celestia’s child is totally unique. Why can’t you just accept that?”

Diamond sniffed sharply. “Because, I can feel you’re hiding something dangerous to my stallion. Until I find out what it is, I won’t ever trust you.”

“Why would I tell you all my secrets when I barely know you, and especially in jail when we’re surrounded by strangers.” Cress retorted.

“Sounds like you two are best friends,” Blue said as she watched the show. “Why don’t you just hug it out?”

Diamond ignored Blue. “Because, you need friends and you don’t have any. You’re like Gil, only you don’t have a reason to be here. Some school report is a lame excuse to stalk my boyfriend, how’re you even going to turn in your report? Canterlot’s, like, a thousand miles away and you don’t even have any paper!”

Cress’s ears fell. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, I have my ways.”

“Like what? Huh? Nopony else sees it, but I do. I’ve seen it since the minute you showed up, you’re a liar and you’re hiding stuff. Until you come clean, I’m not trusting you with Snickers.”

“I saved him twice in the Forest of Woe, doesn’t that say something?” Cress asked.

“Not enough,” Diamond answered.

“How can I prove something, anything, when you don’t trust me?” Cress asked.

“Now it’s getting juicy,” Blue chimed in. “What’s gonna happen next, I wonder?”

“Would you stay out of this?” Diamond asked Blue. Blue held up her forehoof placatingly. “As for you, Cress, you’ll find a way. You found a way to stalk my stallion, you’ll find a way to earn all of our trust.”

Cress sat and leaned her head against the bars, her muzzled muzzle trembling. “It’s not that easy, Diamond Tiara--”

“Hey, why do you get to wear jewelry in here? Aren’t they supposed to take that from you when you get locked up?” Blue interjected.

Ignoring her, Cress went on. “Everypony has secrets. You do, I do, even sleepy here does. I can’t just share everything with you, especially in public. Why can’t you just believe me when I say that I’m here to help and report?”

Diamond sat down, out of leg’s reach, just in case. “Why don’t you tell me one thing, just one thing to make me trust you a little? It doesn’t have to be world shattering… unless that’s all you have.”

Cress glanced up and met eyes with Diamond, then motioned her closer. “If I whisper one to you, then will you trust me enough to stop glaring at me everytime I talk to Snickers?”

Diamond nodded and cautiously walked closer, then turned her ear to Cress’s muzzle. A few seconds later Diamond was hopping back in surprise.

“You’re what?! At your age?!” Diamond exclaimed.

“What?!” Blue asked, hopping to the floor with a clatter of hooves. “Is she pregnant? She’s pregnant isn’t she?”

Both fillies glared at Blue. “Would you stay out of this?” Diamond asked, curtly. She turned her attention back to Cress with an appraising eye. “Well, that does explain why you carry a staff in your bags… okay, fine, I guess you’re not a total bitchy creep that’s after my stallion. But if I catch you doing anything weird, I’m telling everypony.”

“You can tell us, we won’t tell, right ponies?” Blue said loudly, getting several groans in reply.

A mare two cells over shouted. “Shut up, Blue, my head’s killing me enough without you yelling. Let the fillies have their thing, already.”

Diamond hesitantly raised a forehoof towards Cress. “Truce?”

“Truce.” Cress said, bumping her hoof to Diamond’s.

“For now, anyway,” Diamond added.