Snickers: On the Road

“So, how was your time in jail?” Gil asked the fillies as they followed Trixie from the guard station.

Cress was blushing as she ruffled her wings when she noticed he was paying attention to her. “They muzzled me,” she glumly admitted to the gryphon.

Gil laughed and slapped Cress on the back. “That sounds rough, girl. What was the safe word to get it off?”

Cress shoved him away with a wing. “Cram it, that’s the safe word!”

“Ooh, she likes it rough,” Gil teased and gave a little shove to the bat filly. “I’ll remember that.”

Cress blushed again, for a different reason. “Just… shut up, jerk.”

Diamond rushed to hug Snickers and Silver Spoon. “I missed you, I was so worried about you both,” Diamond said as she nuzzled her lovers.

“We saved your breakfast, have you eaten yet?” Silver asked.

“It’s only been two hours,” Snickers said, “you’re okay, right?”

Diamond nodded as she stepped back, grinning widely. “Yeah, and… me and Cress kinda made up, a little.”

Trixie walked off with a flick of her tail. “Trixie has a show to plan, do not get arrested again or she won’t come to pick you up next time.”

Cress shoved Gil away again and went to Kiwe. “Hey, you went shopping without me,” she pouted.

Kiwe puffed out his chest to show off his bandolier, now holding a dozen vials of his potions. “It fits like a glove, when I saw it I was in love. It holds twenty vials of my potions and works well with my motions.”

“Cool,” Cress said, reaching to touch it. “Is that leather or heavy cloth?”

Kiwe leaned away. “Leather from a fallen cow, better than a living sow. Do not touch my vials, or we will be in for many trials.”

“A living sow?” Cress asked. “You know that’s a pig, right? Are you just trying to rhyme for the heck of it?”

Kiwe smirked. “Perhaps.”

“Oh, Diamond, I saw you being taken away,” Silver said, throwing her forelegs around Diamond for another hug, “and I was so worried. I was worried you’d be sent to some prison and I’d have to live here to see you once a week for years.”

Snickers and Diamond chuckled at the clingy filly. “Silver, that’s ridiculous. No place would throw a filly in jail for a little street fight,” Snickers said as he placed a hoof on Silver’s back.

Silver tightened the hug. “I almost lost my sister this morning, have a little compassion.”

Diamond grabbed Silver’s forelegs and pulled them off of her, setting all their legs on the ground. “Silvie, don’t worry, I’m fine and I got some stress out of my system. I haven’t been in a good fight in months, and this time I was winning; right, sweetie?”

Snickers rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I still feel bad I broke your muzzle.”

“Hey, kids! Stop loitering outside the guard station or I’ll haul you all back in here.”

At the guard’s shout the group promptly left the area. Snickers and his fillies rushed back to the inn while the others went off together.

“First, I have to ask you a big question.” Snickers said once they were back in their room. “How did you two make up in two hours after everything you’ve been bottling up since you met?”

Diamond shrugged. “I dunno, we just talked finally.”

“Just talked?” Snickers asked as Silver climbed onto the bed and sprawled out, tapping a spot beside her for Diamond. “You were fighting and throwing each other around like toys and you just got over it?”

Diamond hopped onto the bed and snuggled close to Silver. “Yup, pretty much. It’s a filly thing, you colts wouldn’t understand.”

Silver nodded in agreement. “We have to set a good example for you colts, after all.”

Snickers clenched his teeth. “That doesn’t make any sense! It took you weeks to come up to me and thank me for fighting you.”

“And it took weeks for me to finally have it out with Cress, and then we made up. We talked while we were in jail and shared some secrets, now we’re on better terms. What’s so hard to understand about that? Besides, what you did to me was different.”

“Yeah,” Silver laughed, “you kicked her flank. No pony had ever done that to her… or anypony else for that matter. I can’t even remember the last time a colt got into a fight with a filly.”

“Yeah, it was usually just me scaring anypony into submission before I took their pride and dignity,” Diamond admitted. “Sheesh, I was a real bitch, wasn’t I, Silver?”

Silver nodded. “Oh, yeah. Biggest in school, for sure.”

“Thanks, Silver. I knew I could count on you.” Diamond deadpanned.

“Well, it’s the truth.” Silver stated. “Besides, you’re a better mare now than you ever were then.”

The filly patted the mattress, inviting Snickers up. “And it’s all thanks to you,” Diamond said.

Snickers looked at the bed, then the door. “I thought we were gonna play at the park? I wanna go to the park, can we go now? Please?”

Diamond and Silver shared a look. “Fine, if you insist. But, we’re getting ice cream when we’re done.”

…

“Tag!” A filly shouted after she touched Silver Spoon’s side. Silver, panting and grinning, turned to the nearest pony and began chase.

Snickers stood back, ready to gallop away at the first sign of trouble. He wasn’t the first to be ‘it’, but he was going to do his best to not be the last. He hopped into a gallop as Silver Spoon followed the colt towards him. He laughed as Silver gave chase to him and then turned off to chase a closer filly.

“Tag!” Silver shouted and then ran away. “No tag backs!” She shouted as the filly gave chase, then turned off to run into the scattered group of foals in the field by the park.

The game went on until, slowly, the foals broke into groups and began climbing the park structures and playing pirates, superheroes, or other games. Snickers climbed to the top of the tallest slide after some struggle and announced his ownership of it, only to be playfully shoved back down, laughing the whole way.

He bumped into a colt that quickly climbed over him and tried to ascend the slide himself, only to slip and slide down. Snickers rolled off the slide just before the colt’s privates could rub against his face. Ignoring the accident, Snickers began playing hide and seek with the colt and a couple other fillies while Diamond and Silver played with other fillies about their age.

An hour more passed before Snickers left the game and moved to the grass and lay down to rest. Several other foals joined him in talking about whatever they chose to.

“Snickers, are you doing okay?” Silver asked, lying beside him.

Diamond lay to his other side, her breath heavy from playing hard near the end. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired… and sweaty,” she tittered. “Like last night.”

Silver clicked her tongue and then adjusted her glasses on her muzzle. “You weren’t the one doing all the work, Diamond.”

“Let’s not talk about that, okay? There’s other foals around that probably don’t need to know about the details.” Snickers said. “Besides, it’s almost lunch and I want a hayburger. Who else wants one?”

Silver nodded and Diamond sat up to clap her hooves. “I’d love one, but how about we try something local from the market? There’s gotta be something good there, after all.”

“Okay, first we’ll hit up the market, then the restaurant,” Snickers agreed.

Saying goodbye to their playmates the trio left the playground area and went into town to the market.

“Fresh fish! We catch’m, you buy’m!”
“Would you like a new necklace, miss?”
“I’ll buy your tiara for its weight in coins.”
“Young sir, a bangle to match your mane?”
“Crickets, grasshoppers, roaches; get’m while they’re warm!”

The foals passed salespony after salespony until they came to one that attracted their interest in food. “Carrots on a stick! Carrots on a stick! Carmel apples!” The stallion called out. The foals rushed to him and placed a golden bit on the counter, to his surprise. “Is that… real gold? I don’t have anything to match that… unless you’re trying to buy all my carrots.”

Diamond laughed and patted her saddlebag. “We’re from Equestria, we’ve got plenty of bits to spare. All our money’s got gold in it, we’d just like carrots on a stick with toppings! One each, plus an apple, too.”

The stallions took the bit before she could take it back and prepared their order, then placed several old copper coins onto the counter. “Thanks, we appreciate it,” Diamond said as they all took their treats and change. “What’s this money called?”

“Lordecoin, after the lord of the land. Clever, I know,” he rolled his eyes. “A bit egotistical, if you ask me, but the guy’s got his own money so he’s doing something right.”

The foals shared a look and Snickers’s ears drooped at the name. “What kinda name’s Lord Lorde, anyway?”

The stallion shrugged and prepared another carrot on a stick. “A recognizable one, for sure.”

The foals left to a table and sat down, munching on their carrots, then the sticks before they shared the apple in relative silence.

“Okay, I’m gonna say it,” Snickers finally said, “there was a guy named President Lorde back where I’m from, back when I was a human. He was awful and did terrible things, and made me do something terrible, too. But, hearing this lord’s name is really freaking me out. If I find out he’s here, I’m gonna go crazy, I think.”

Silver patted Snickers’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, he’s long gone. You left him back in your human world, right?”

Snickers looked at the table. “What if he got the same deal as me? I can’t be the only human here, I mean, look around,” he gestured at some of the vendors, “there’s English writing on some of their stands.”

“That’s English?” Diamond asked. “It’s not like what you showed us back in Twilight’s library.”

Snickers looked at a flower shop that had a small sign he couldn’t read from so far away. “That’s because I use trade 4.”

“Wait, there’s more than one kind of English?” Diamond asked. “And it’s all about trading? Daddy would love to know about that.”

“There’s six trade languages. They are derived from languages between humans and other creatures we’ve met as we expanded through the stars. Trade 1 is used by telepaths, trade 2 is used by creatures we call Wolfen; creatures that grunt or bark mostly. Trade 3 is English from the old world. Trade 4 is modern English, while Trade 5 is made up of clicks and hisses, along with certain body secretions.

“Lastly is trade 6, which is the universal language of computers. With any two of those a creature can communicate with any other in my reality. I knew 4 and 6, but only because I can program a computer to read the language for me.”

Both fillies were staring at him, the apple nearly finished. “So, you mean there are aliens out there right now?” Diamond asked as she looked to the blue sky.

“Probably, but I don’t know if they speak Ponish, English, or what. They might not even know, or care, about this little planet.”

Silver took the apple and a big bite from it. “Anyway, how’s that gonna turn a profit for our daddy’s if we’re here and they’re there? Let’s just worry about English being here for now. Do you think anypony you know could have been brought here when you showed up?”

Snickers looked at the table and tapped at it. “Probably, now that I think of it. I wasn’t the only one who died that day…”

“Died? So, like, the breezy tales are kinda true? That a dying pony could get a second chance if they’re worthy?” Silver asked.

Snickers took the apple and the last bite, handing the stick to Diamond. “Let’s go get that burger, okay?”

Diamond chomped the stick and started chewing it as they left. “Yeah, let’s worry about that stuff later. We have a hayburger to eat before we… well, what’re you gonna do next, Snickers?”

Snickers shrugged. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be better than worrying about my old life.”

…

Cress walked beside Kiwe as Gil trailed behind them. “So,” Cress said to Kiwe, “are you ready to try out some of those combat moves you talked up? Because I’m curious to see what zebras fight like.”

Kiwe shook his head. “Combat is one thing, training another. I won’t fight you because it would be a blunder.”

“Yeah, I’d blunder you on top of your head with my staff,” Cress teased.

Gil laughed. “Yeah, I put my bits on Kiwe. No offense, but you’re a little too small to be a challenge for a combat unicorn.”

Cress scoffed. “He’s not a combat unicorn, he’s a zony alchemist. As long as he doesn’t throw a potion on me, I think I’ll be okay.”

“Five bits on Kiwe,” Gil stated, holding up his talons.

Cress moved to Gil without breaking eye contact. Gil didn’t move or show any fear as the filly looked up at him. “How about I take you on? I’d give ten bits that says I could take you down in under a minute.”

Gil laughed and patted the egg on his belly. “Not gonna risk anything with this one under my care, you’ll have to save those bits for two months. Then, I don’t see a problem introducing your face to my fist until you go to sleep.” He looked at his knuckles and kissed one. “Yeah, I think another two months will certainly be enough time for me to find a few more reasons to pound you.”

Cress blushed at his wording, then flapped her wings to get eye level with him. “It’s a date, I’ll engrave my name on your pain gland!”

“Not if I do you first!” Gil snapped back.

Cress emitted a supersonic chirp and flapped back, landing facing away from Gil. She flicked her tail and walked beside a grinning Kiwe. “Don’t say anything,” she said, giving the brown colt a gentle shove.

“I said nothing, only a smile… I think I shall be quiet for a while,” Kiwe said, restraining his smile, as Cress shot him a look.

“That would be smart of you,” she nodded. She glanced back and met eyes with Gil. He winked at her and she snapped her attention forward again. “He’s such a jerk,” she hissed. “I’ll put him in his place someday,” she mumbled as she thought of trussing him up. Her imagination devolved quickly into spanking him with a switch and she shook her head.