Snickers: On the Road

Snickers sat on a cushioned chair with his fillies standing by his side, he was at a desk with a pencil in his lips. “I don’t wanna do this,” he weakly protested.

“You said you missed her,” Diamond said. “And even if she doesn’t feel the same, you should write her to let her know how you felt about everything. I’m gonna write my daddy a letter, but it’ll take weeks to get to him. We don’t all have the luxury of a magic book,” she chided.

Silver bumped Snickers’s side with her head. “C’mon, you cried about missing her. The least you can do is say hi. Like, it’s not that hard, is it?”

Snickers bit into the eraser a little. “It is when the mare you thought of as your own mother tells you she doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

“Well, then tell her that!”

“I don’t think that would be very nice of him to write, Diamond,” Silver said. “He should write from the heart what he’s feeling, but not only mean stuff.” She played with her braid for a moment. “I think you should thank her for being a good mom, when she was one. I have four mommies, but I can’t imagine being so mad at one of them.”

“Speak for yourself,” Diamond snapped at her herd sister, “I don’t care if my mom never talks to me again, but I love my daddy and he’s the only one I have.”

Snickers leaned down and scratched some words into the book, then leaned back and slammed it closed. “There, I thanked her for the good times. Happy?”

The fillies looked at one another before shrugging. “If you think it’s enough, then it is.” Silver’s ears perked. “Oh! What if she, like, writes you back right away apologizing and asking you to come home?”

“Then I’ll tell her I’m not ready to come home yet and she can surely see me out here in Frand,” Snickers replied.

Diamond turned back to their bags and the stuff they’d unpacked, noticing Snickers had kept one satchel closed. She went to it and curiously nosed it open, then reached in to pull out Aeries, the stuffed doll. “Hey, look who I found!” She announced to the other two. Snickers dropped the pencil from his lips and a smile tugged at his lips.

“I was trying to keep that away, it’s got too many memories attached to it… but,” he slid from the chair and took the doll in his forelegs, hugging it to him as he leaned close to kiss Diamond. “Thanks, I think I feel better after writing that note to m… mom.” He sighed. “I miss her and her snootiness. I’ve even stopped saying darling and stuff like I did last month… I think it’s because I was so mad at her.

“But how can I be mad at the mare that took me in and made me swallow a cup of soap water to teach me a lesson as soon as she’d met me?” He snickered.

“Well, I don’t think that’s a very nice thing to do. Why would she make you drink soap water?” Silver asked.

“Well, I was swearing and being an ass to her, so she made me bite a soap bar until I learned my lesson. I was very stubborn back then.”

“Ohh,” Both fillies said in unison.

“I thought it was just her being weird,” Diamond said before smiling at her stallion holding a stuffed toy so lovingly. “C’mon, let’s go to the main room and talk; we don’t have anything to hide anymore, and whatever happens, we’ll have each other.”

Silver tittered. “My mareparts are still kinda tingly after everything we did earlier.”

Diamond giggled and nodded in agreement, but shushed her. “You know how Snickers feels talking about that, so keep it up; he’s cute when he gets all flustered.”

Snickers moved the doll to his back and went to the cutie mark crusader cape he’d been given as the fillies giggled their way out of the room. He ran a hoof over the patch sewn onto it before sighing. “I miss you, too, Scootaloo. Why’d you have to be on Rainbow’s side? Well, I’ll show you all,” he said, “I’ll get my mark, it’ll be amazing, and I’ll rub it in your blank flank faces.”

He bit the collar of the cape and, with a deft twist of his head, he donned the apparel and fastened it with a snap around his neck. He went to the bags of toys they’d purchased earlier for their sexual romp and pulled out his shirt, blue and white with dirty brown mud spots all over it. Grass stains along the back smelled yummy, but he knew he had to get his only article of daily wear washed before he’d feel comfortable again.

Taking it in his mouth, Snickers walked it to the hamper in the corner of the room and tossed it in. He looked around the room and then hurried to the girls in the main room. Silver and Diamond were talking with Cress when he stopped by them. “Hey, where are the bathrooms?” He asked, letting Aeries slip from his back to the floor before he set her carefully on a cushion.

Cress smirked. “He looks good nearly naked… not that I'm interested. Anyway, that’s a bit of a tough answer. I found out they have privies here and there around the Keep and that the main bathing room is outside. There are also a number of bathhouses and spas in the city we can use.”

Snickers bit his bottom lip. Can you show me where the nearest toilet is?”

Cress giggled and got up from her comfortable spot. She guided Snickers and the fillies from the main room and into the hallways outside their suite and around the wall to where a thin sheet was hung from the ceiling ready to be pulled around a hole in the wall. “There ya go, don’t all rush to use it at once.”

Snickers and the fillies gaped at the hole in the wall, then looked to the bat pony filly in their midst wearing a wide toothy grin. “Ha-ha,” Diamond stated flatly, “where are the real toilets.”

Cress snorted and held back a giggle. “Girls, this is a Keep, built ages ago without toilets in mind. You’re lucky they went with the holes in the wall and not just chamber pots left around the place. Not saying there aren't those, too." She giggled. "You do your business and it runs outside, down the side of the building, and eventually into the gardens around the base. Sorry, but while we’re here, we don’t have any other options.”

The trio looked back at the hole in the wall and Snickers sighed. “I swear, if I had my way there’d be internal plumbing in this place,” he said and moved to the privy before pulling the curtain closed and rearing up onto the wall. “These aren’t very male friendly, are they?” He asked as he started to pee, aiming as best as his equine body could allow.

Cress shook her head. “Nope, mostly mares were set up in these places, so that’s why the holes are so squat and angled the way they are. The males would have been relegated to the lower levels or outside where they could go wherever, as long as it was out of the way.”

“How do you know so much about castles and Keeps?” Snickers asked as he finished.

Cress looked at Diamond, who glanced at Silver, who was curious why there was so much secrecy going around suddenly. “Well, I studied some in school, but it’s pretty common knowledge for ponies growing up in castle cities to know these things.”

“Ah,” Snickers said as he opened the curtain, “that makes sense. Like how you were able to get into our room back in Canterlot?”

“Exactly, it’s just about knowing the right ponies to get into certain places, too.” Cress nervously chuckled.

Snickers walked between his fillies again and motioned for Cress to take the lead back to their room. Once back inside the suite, they all took seats and noticed a radio on one of the side tables. “Cool, wanna listen to some local music?”

The reply, however, was cut off by Trixie chose that moment to barge from her room. “Trixie is feeling parched, where is the telephone so that she may call for some refreshments?” The foals looked around the main room before shrugging. “Bah, what good are you to Trixie then? She will find it herself, then.”

Trixie went into a side room that held a kitchenette and cheered. There was a clatter and chatter, then Trixie came from the room with a grin. “Trixie has used the telephone! No pony in her hometown will believe her, though.”

“What about a television? I could use some good shows,” Snickers stated.

“Whatever that is, Trixie hasn’t experienced it, yet. However, when she sees one, she will certainly master it as she has the telephone! Ha-hah!” She laughed. She looked at Snickers and raised an eyebrow. “You look quite nice wearing only a cape, just as Trixie does. Will you be changing your wardrobe to capes now?”

Snickers blushed. “It’s only until I get my shirt washed, and maybe buy a couple more, too. I think variety is important and I only have a couple articles of clothing.”

“You should wear less, as it shows off your natural body and requires less care. The only downside to wearing a cape is the hiding of one’s cutie mark, which isn’t a problem for you, at the moment. However, it may appear at any time, so be prepared to flaunt it, as one does.”

Silver reached over and lifted the back of Snickers’s cape to look at his flank. “Well, whatever it's gonna be it’ll be great, just like him.”

Trixie scoffed. “You barely know him! It has been what, two months and you’ve both dedicated yourselves to him like mares to a grown stallion? Trixie can’t wait to see what will happen in the next weeks until we part.”

“Wait, you’re really just gonna leave us here without adult supervision?” Cress asked.

“Trixie is sixteen, she can do and go where she pleases. You are foals, regardless of your marks or sexual habits. You should be careful after I leave, lest you fall into the hooves or other grabby appendages of a greater creature.” Trixie said as she approached the radio. She used her magic to turn it on and quickly turned the tuner to a station. “In the meantime, let’s listen to some relaxing music and-”

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door that caught her attention. The radio began to play some smooth jazz as Trixie trotted over to answer it. Snickers ignored the music to watch Trixie open the door. A set of mares stood there, a unicorn and an earth pony, as well as a large ewe behind them. “Greetings, Great and Powerful Trixie, we are here to serve you all with the finest of drinks.”

Trixie was surprised at the speed of the request’s answer, but stepped aside to allow the mares and ewe in. The mares had platters on their backs and moved to a dining table to set their options upon it while the ewe stood by the door, awkwardly looking glancing at Snickers, then to the mares at the table.

“What are you here for?” Diamond bluntly asked the ewe, noticing the attention the ewe was giving the only male in the room.

“I am to be the royal nursemaid, your majesty.”

The mares at the table began filling glasses with drinks while the rest of the ponies in the room went very quiet. Trixie smirked. “Are you saying you are here to nurse us with your own milk?”

The ewe nodded weakly. “I am not used to serving older foals such as your highnesses, but I will do my best with my offerings. I am here to service Prince Snickers and one other. If anyone else wishes to partake of our offering, I can call for others to help.”

Trixie laughed haughtily while the foals finally started smiling. “Um,” Snickers started, “I think I’m okay on milk fresh from the tit, but I appreciate your offer. You can tell Lord Lorde that I’m capable of feeding and drinking myself at my age.”

The ewe bowed her fluffy head and turned to the door before exiting and closing it behind her. The mares bowed their heads in unison once they were done preparing. “Juices from the finest sources for your highness and guests.”

Trixie trotted quickly to the table, took a cup in her magic and sniffed the contents. She brought it to her lips and took a sip, hummed contentedly, then drank half the contents in three swallows. “This is quite good, indeed. Come, children, drink and make merry. Mares, Trixie is wondering whether or not Snickers will be having his own maid or butler while he stays here, isn’t it courtesy to do so?”

The earth pony mare nodded. “Typically yes, however Lord Lorde said to wait until Prince Snickers requested one, as he didn’t want to seem too pushy to such a respectable and unique colt.”

Snickers piped up. “I’m fine with just some guards when I go into town, I don’t need somepony to do everything for me while I’m here.”

“I will be sure to let Lord Lorde know. Your Highness,” the unicorn maid began, “should you need anything, simply call and we will be here as quickly as possible, day or night. We are the caretakers of this floor’s guests, after all.”

“So, you’re our maids, then?” Diamond asked.

“We serve all on this floor in any way they need; we are not here for only one pony’s service.”

Diamond and Silver shared a look, then Diamond spoke. “Snickers won’t be needing all of your services, but we could use somepony to make us some clothes.”

“We will have a guard escort you into town to a tailor and seamstress for sizing and clothing, m’lady,” the unicorn said. She stepped aside as the group made their way to the glasses on the table. “Will you be needing anything else?”

“Hey, do you know what Kiwe’s up to?” Snickers asked the earth mare.

“You mean the mixed breed colt? He’s working in the kitchens, your majesty.”

Snickers glared and sneered at the mare. “What do you mean ‘mixed breed’? He’s not some weird creature, he’s a pony like us.”

The mare’s eyes widened as Snickers spoke, then she bowed her front low until her muzzle touched the floor. “I am sorry, your highness. I meant no disrespect to your friend, it is simply…” she hesitated.

The unicorn spoke up in the second of silence. “It is how we speak of others. We are more blunt than some would like and speak our truths differently than you do, your highness. We will endeavor to speak more kindly from now on.”

“What are your names?” Silver Spoon asked the mares, looking between them.

“I am Written Statement and my earthen counterpart is Baking Soda,” the unicorn stated with a polite bow. “Get up, Soda, we should get back to work.”

With that, the mares returned to the table and refilled the cups once more until the carafes were empty, then collected their platters and dishes before leaving the suite.

“I hope Kiwe’s doing okay down there, what if they treat him like bullies or something?” Silver asked openly.

Snickers thought for a few seconds, then shook his head. “No, they wouldn’t do that to him. And if they do, then they’ll have to answer to me and…” he glanced up at the ceiling, “him. Gosh, I hate having to rely on that scum again.”

Trixie scoffed at the comment. “You really should tell Trixie and the others what relationship you have with the kind Lord, else we shall take your opinions as fruitless bullymongering.”

Snickers looked at Trixie and snorted in frustration. “I’ll tell you after I take a much needed spa date. Lorde said he’d cover it, so girls, let’s go get groomed!” He announced. The fillies all cheered while the mare nodded and used her magic to call over her cape and hat.

All the foals sighed in relief as they stood in a communal shower, washing off the weight of their journey so far. Hot water cascaded down their coats and soaked their skin sending pleasant tingles through their bodies as they moved between the spouts above them. Trixie watched the foals wandering aimlessly under the warm showers with a content smile.

A spa employee walked into the room and stood beside Trixie, who had yet taken a turn to get washed up since the foals were occupying all the available showers. “Okay, who’s ready for a little pampering?”

All attention was on the stallion and at the robes he held in his magical aura. There was a rush to the robes and the stallion chuckled as the foals hurried to put one on. Trixie took the opportunity to step into the shower and at first gasped at the heat, then relaxed under a single water spout, letting the dirty water run into the floor drain.

“Follow me, children, to the first stop on your journey to a new you.” The stallion said as he took the lead and led them all into a room with a lounge chair for each of them. “Lay back and let’s get your hooves back into shape.” He stated and clacked his hoof on a marble panel against the wall.

Five mares entered the room and looked the group over, then between each other. With a nod, they split up and went to each of the foals with two going to Snickers. “Your highness, it is an honor to service you. Shall we begin with your royal hooves?”

Snickers looked between the mares, then glanced between his fillies, who were trying to distract themselves with their own attendants. “Um, yeah, sure. I haven’t had any hoof care for almost a month and could use some of your magic.”

The mares giggled, glancing at one another’s bare foreheads. “We know what you mean. Please, lie on your side and let us take care of all your needs.”

Diamond loudly snorted. “Just so you know, we’re his mares and we’ll be doing the important servicing of our stallion.”

The mares looked at the filly and the rest of the adults giggled. “We wouldn’t dare impose, we aren’t some low class massage parlor that does that kind of servicing of our clientele. We’re professionals.”

Snickers laid on his side and let the mares look his hooves over with intent. They pulled a small box from under the lounge chair and opened it to show several farrier tools. They quickly went to work on one of his hooves, taking out the nails that held his old shoe guides on before snipping, clipping, and filing his hooves down.

“Nails are so out of date, your majesty. Would you like magnetic bolts put in? They’re less damaging on your hooves and allow you to use some of the newest shoes available.”

Snickers looked at his hooves and then nodded. “If I don’t like them, I can just have them swapped out, right?”

“Of course, but we haven’t had a customer go back to nails since they were introduced what… five years ago now?” The attendendant asked her partner.

“Yeah, about that. Those Terrans aren’t totally crazy with their inventions.”

Snickers’s ears perked. “So, what else have these Terrans talked about that make them crazy?”

A mare snickered. “Flying machines for a hundred ponies to use to get around the land in a few hours instead of days.”

“Portable viewing devices to see who you’re talking to across the world.”

“Commuters… or something that can do math and stuff faster than the best creatures.”

“Small machines that fix your body from the inside.”

“Space machines.”

There was a smattering of giggles.

“They make up the weirdest ideas. Why would we need a flying machine when we have dirigible airships, hot air balloons, and pegasi to get us around, if we need them?”

“What could we possibly need to do in outer space? Get some moon cheese or touch the star diamonds?”

Snickers grimaced at the sound and feeling of a jolt in his leg as the first magnet was punched into his hoof. “So, where are these Terrans? I kind of want to hear what they have to offer. Maybe they have something that would benefit both our countries. Telephones seem pretty neat, after all.”

“You can find their stores around the city, if you want to. They sell telephones and other useful things, as well as their nonsense ideas if you give them the opportunity.”

Snickers pondered what he could do to see a Terran and what they could explain to him about their technological ideas as the last of his hooves was attended to.

There was a fierce screech that startled everypony. The male staff member poked his head into the room a moment later with a calm expression. “Sorry, the hot water was too much for a griffon customer. I believe he’s one of your friends, your highness. A mister Gilgamesh?”

Snickers blinked. “Oh! You mean Gil? Yeah, give him the deluxe treatment, too. Lord Lorde will cover the fee.” He said and looked as best he could to Silver Spoon, the closest one to him. “I guess Kiwe finished and is watching the egg.”

“Or, Gil just brought it with him.” Cress offered.

“Maybe we should check on him…” Silver said.

“Nah, he’s a gryphon. He’ll be just fine.” Diamond said. “And, are we gonna talk about his full name, or just let it go?” She mused.

...

“Now that your hooves are cleaned and polished, let’s get you into the sauna!”

Trixie entered the hooficure room as the foals left, her coat was damp but she was in good spirits. “Have fun, and drink water as you need it.”

The foals trotted in a single file line behind a pegasus mare to the sauna where they were led in and were told how to use it to its fullest effect.

Sweating and panting after five minutes, the group stumbled out of the sauna to the pegasus mare’s surprise. “Oh, my. I thought you’d be in there for at least half an hour. Please, come with me to the mineral baths to cool off.”

Once they were all naked and soaking in warm mineral water, they sparked up small conversations about what they’d like to do for the rest of the evening before a splash fight broke out and they were promptly removed from the pool for playing with expensive imported water.

Next, they were groomed by some of the best groomers in the city, their manes being cared for like they were all the most important in the world, before they were all led to a final room where they chose the shoes they wanted to wear out into the city.

Pleased with their experience, Snickers dropped a single Equestrian bit on the counter before he left, watching the curious and then shocked expressions of the employees as they gratefully accepted their tip.

Stepping out into the evening and waning daylight, Snickers sighed with a smile as he felt like a new pony. No part of his body was spared, even getting a quick snack of a cinnamon cookie before he left to freshen his breath. Several city guards were standing ready when he and his friends stepped out and with a couple questions, they formed up around the group and led them deeper into Frand’s shopping district, ready to appease their shopping needs.