Who I am

        “Argh,” I moaned and put a hand up to my head. “Anyone get the number of that fucking truck that was slammed into my head by Zuse?” I grumbled and opened my eyes, only to shut them again. “Dayum, must have passed out on a roof garden or something.” I said, still shielding my eyes from the endless assault of light the sun had to offer, like I was it’s main focus or something. “Alright Zeek, hangover is a problem but you have to find out whose property you're on so you don’t get arrested like last time.” I pulled my Ipod out and opened my eyes, slowly so  I wouldn’t blind myself. I stuck the ear-bud in my ears and turned on ‘Everywhere I go’ by hollywood undead and looked around from where I was lying down.

        “Must be one of those places that has trees....” I sat up slowly, and the number of trees multiplied along with the grass.

        No buildings...

        miles of grass and trees...

        “I’m in Slender, except it’s day time.” I concluded and got up. “Alright, try and stay alive, thats my goal.” I muttered to myself. I stretched and put a hand on my head. “Ow, son of a barrel this hurts.” I muttered as I limped over to one of the trees and leaned on it. “Better than standing at least, give me a minute Slendy.” I sat there for a moment to let my headache pain go away. “Right, lets see...” I looked around, I saw forest, lots and lots of forest. I mean that’s all there was, trees, grass, oh and look! More grass. “I need to stop describing that.” I pushed myself off the tree and began to walk in a random direction. I followed spongebob logic and went the way the moss grew on the trees and rocks. “This is the stupidest thing I have ever done, I might just walk off a cliff or something.” I muttered then did a combat role when I heard twig snap to my left. “Beidh mé tú a mharú!” I yelled at the unknown thing, knowing full well it could not understand me.

        “What?” A small voice called from the other side of the war zon-  I mean small forest clearing. “Who’s there? Show yourself!” Cocky voice, dripping with bravery.

        “Promise not to shoot me?” I called out from behind my bush, just want to make sure I won't die.

        “What does the even mean?” I facepalmed hard enough for the smack to echo through the clearing.

        “Nevermind, just don’t....Throw anything at me or try and fight me, alright?” There was a silence for a while, the she-voice must have been thinking.

        “As long as you don’t do the same then fine!” Well, there goes my plan.

        “Fine! On the count of three we both come out....One....Two...” I tensed up. “Three!” I rolled out from behind my bush with war type music blasting on my ipod. When all I saw was a orange horse I looked around. “Um, hello?”

        “Yeah, hi.” The small horse growled at me. “Don’t ignore me!” I stared stunned at the little horse, I must have been drugged or something, might as well go along with it.

        “I see you, I just don’t think your real at the moment, I need a moment to correct anything that may be wrong with my brain.” I sat on the ground and stared at the little orange horse with immense intensity.

        “You're really creepy, you know that?” it growled at me while fidgeting around in my vision.

        “You must be immune to my mind powers, you don’t think you're on fire yet.” I joked, but then she looked at me wide eyed as if I was speaking the complete truth.

        “You have magic?!”

        “Sarcasm is an amazing weapon...” I muttered. “No I was kidding, a joke. Laugh damn you!” I got up and pointed at it like the evil monkey in family guy. It flinched back then growled at me with intense bravery.

        “Make me!” It’s making this hard on me. I shrugged and began walking over to it. “N-now hold on!” She took one step back and screamed when I picked it up.

        “Laugh dammit!” I began to tickle it’s stomach area. It began to laugh hard, saying ‘No! Stop!’ and ‘That tickles!’ I got a wrong feeling when she said those things, this better not make anyone mad at me. “There, you laughed, for like 20 minutes.” I dropped it and it stopped laughing to wipe some tears out of it’s eyes. “Now, where is the nearest town little horse thing? I need to dump a bucket of cold water on my head.” It gave me a strange look. “What?”

        “You are, REALLY weird, what the heck are you anyway? And what’s that sound coming out of your head?”

        “That would be amazing music, currently Skrillex.” I pulled the earbuds out and crouched down. “Here, wanna listen?” What? I’ll come back later and get the ipod off the raccoon I’m currently giving it to. It took the earbuds in it’s hooves, which I don’t know how this is even possible, and looked at me.

        “So, I just put these in my ears?” I nodded. “Alright...” I have concluded it’s a she because she knows NOTHING of modern tech. I hit the play button and the look on her face just about made me piss myself from laughing, her eyes shot open and her mouth dropped from the pure awesome. “Whoa...” Was all she got out after about 2 minutes.

        “So.......Town?” I asked and she absentmindedly turned and began walking. “I think that raccoon just stole my ipod...” I muttered and started walking after her. After a half hour walk/chase we broke out of the forest and in the distance I could see a colorful town, filled with more horses I’m betting. “Holy christ that is colorful, usually when I get drugged it’s not this colorful.” I squinted to get a better look at the town.

        “Hey.” I looked down at the small horse. “What is this thing? A magic box?”

        “Yeah, we’ll go with that.” I said. “It copies someone’s voice as their singing and it plays it back perfectly.” I looked back to the town. “So where can I get a bucket of cold water?”

        “Um, you could ask Applebloom’s sister, we have to find them first.” I looked back to the horse.

        “That’s a strange name, can I call her App?” I asked as we began moving to the left.

        “Dunno, you’ll have to ask her, she might be at the club house with Sweetie belle.” I had to stop for a second to get the giggles out. “What?”

        “She must be a real ‘sweet’heart, eh?” After a few seconds she giggled. “There we go!” I laughed and continued walking. “So, where is this clubhouse?”

        “In Sweet Apple Acres, somewhere in the orchard.” I gave her a confused look.

        “Somewhere? So you don’t know where it is exactly?” She glared at me.

        “I do! I just have to....Wonder around for a bit, get my exercise in, I usually have my scooter.” I chuckled a bit.

        “Sweet, you ride a scooter? You should show me some sweet stunts before I knock myself back into reality.” She stopped and looked at me, we were at the edge of a bunch of apple trees.

        “What do ya mean? You talking about real life or something?” I nodded and pointed at the town to the south-west of us.

        “Nothing can be that colorful without it hurting someone, with me it’s kinda hard on the eyes.” She looked at the town for a few moment and rubbed her eyes.

        “Now that you point it out it is kinda bright.” I clapped once and made her jump.

        “My point! To me it can’t be real, so therefor I must get a bucket of cold water to return to reality.” She had thee most confused face I have ever seen. “Alright, alright, stop thinking about it you might hurt yourself. Come on let’s go and get lost for a half hour.” After a few moments she started walking again, I followed of course but I was kinda scared about getting lost in here, cause what I concluded is that we WILL get lost and eaten by Slender. “Hey, tell me if you see anything like me just very fucking tall and has a white head with no face.” She gave me another confused look. “Trust me, you’ll know why I want to keep an eye out for him.”

        “Ok?” She was confused by the whole topic, I don’t think I should explain though. We kept walking for a while, boredom ate at me from the inside out.

        “Hey orange thing, can I have my ipod back?” She gave me the most pissed off look something that small could muster.

        “The name is Scootaloo! And no! This is awesome!” She moved away from my grabbing distance with a glare.

        “Aww come on! I’m bored and I don’t need a chicken trying to steal my stuff!” Suddenly I saw nothing but darkness, and felt childlike strikes, except hooves made it a shit load more painful. “AHHHHH! GET OFF ME!” I ran around a bit until I got my hands on a tree. “Take this you little shit!” I reared back and right as I was swinging my head forward she lept off my face. “Fuck!” My head slammed into the tree full force and I heard a very loud CRACK! I held my face as I fell backwards. “Oh god am I bleeding!?” I looked at my hands. “Nope.” I sighed with relief and looked up at the not fallen over tree. “Whoa! Cool!” I looked over at Scoots, who had a look of shock on her face, along with some amazement.

        “....Whoa, you're stronger then Applejack...” She said after a while.

        “Damn right I’m stronger then applejacks! Best damn cereal I ever had though.” I got up and dusted myself off. “How long do ya think before someone notices that?” Just then I heard a yell of rage and hooves pounding into the ground, getting closer to me. “Why do ya do this to yourself Zeek?” I muttered and did a combat roll to my left. “Beidh mé do thóin tús go Dé Sathairn seo chugainn ansin deoch ar do uaigh!” I yelled in Irish and spun around to see a lighter orange colored pony with a fucking cowboy hat.

“Aww hell...”