It was a morning like any other at Canterlot High, or at least until a sleeping teenager suddenly faceplanted in the grass in front of the school from thin air. Cursing at his abrupt awakening, the guy slowly opened his eyes and froze at the sight before him.
"This isn't my bed. Where am I?" The guy asked as he spotted a high school in front of him.
He then saw a statue with a mirror and got a look at himself. He was once again stunned at the sight.
"Why do I look so young again? I must have been de-aged somehow. Bigger muscles, no aching spine, and...hormones. Oh no. Nope, not dealing with all of that shit again without having a girl constantly by my side to relieve me," The guy muttered under his breath.
Shaking off the shock, he was just about to get up when a girl with orange skin and hair resembling bacon suddenly bumped into him. Upon seeing her, he finally realized where he was. What the girl said and did next made the guy's blood boil and mind get fuzzy.
"Move it, loser!" Sunset Shimmer shouted angrily before shoving him.
The next thing she knew, she was on the ground and being beaten relentlessly by the guy she'd just bumped into and insulted. While she got some good hits in, the bacon-haired girl quickly realized that he didn't react to being hit and that they were completely ineffective on him. It was at that moment that Sunset Shimmer knew...that she'd fucked up.
"I should kill you where you stand for how you just treated me! Now apologize or die!" He roared/screamed/screeched in what sounded like multiple voices at the same time with the look that only a madman could possess and a rictus grin.
"I-I'll call the cops-" Sunset's shaky rebuttal was abruptly cut short by an elbow to the throat.
"The cops? HAH! They ain't gonna do shit! They aaaain't gonna do shit! There are ways to physically wreck someone like you while also forcing you to stay silent, as you're about to find out! The constant, very real threat of death hanging over one's head does wonders in keeping someone quiet, after all! You might think that calling them when I'm not around would work, but allow me to dissuade you of that illusion. From now on, the two of us will never be apart. We'll share the same classes, the same lunch, and even the same bathroom! We'll live together, and I'll board up your place's windows and doors before going to bed! As both a man and your new boyfriend, I have a very specific need that you will fulfill for me every day! I'll crush your phone(s), and tie you to the bed every night so that you can't stab me in the back! Now I could just save myself some trouble by severing your achilles tendons so that you'll never walk again, but I want those intact! Oh, and everytime you lash out at me, I'll beat you senseless the 1st time, then start breaking bones for each time you do it after that! That said, if the cops ever do get word of this, then you die! After all, if I go down, then I'm taking you with me! Essentially...you're my bitch!" He roared as he pulled out her phone and proceeded to stomp on it until it was not only broken, but unrecognizable as well.
"W-Why me?" Sunset whimpered as the reality of how dire her situation truly was had finally began to sink in.
"Because, Sunset, I hate and yet am turned on by you at the same time. So in short, a hate-boner. Anyway, you think that you're mean? Don't make me laugh! You're NOTHING compared to me! You were never scary, despite what you may believe. Since 5th grade to now, whether it be man or woman, I've beaten the crap out of anyone who has slighted me and promised them death if word ever got out, whether by their mouths or another's. A few didn't believe me at first, but it's amazing how quickly someone will change their tune when you tell them that they can die if that's how they're going to be before cutting off their air supply. The fear in the asshole's eyes and the thought of getting rid of one of them to make the world a better place is intoxicating. It also ensures that I have one less potential problem to deal with. Hey, I gotta cover as many of my bases as I can, right? Because of this, I've never been in trouble with the law or anyone else. Though to be fair, if the law had gotten involved and sided with any of them, including you now, then after fulfilling my promise to end whichever idiot screwed me over, I'd have also considered the police as evil and would have purged as many as I could have before being shot dead. I mean, seriously, what kind of cops would just side with the person who had started something? Evil cops, that's what kind! As for stopping me non-lethally, it's ridiculously hard to stop me without killing me when-whenever I'm in a fight-I'm probably not even self-aware enough to notice something like my arm getting blown off and thus just shrug it off. It's akin to a mindless beast. Right now, I'm partially in that state of mind, so me fully losing it is far worse. The problem with it is that it's uncontrollable, as everyone else-not just my original target-becomes a potential target. Like, if someone were to try to stop me, then I'd completely forget about my original target in favor of this new one. I'm also fairly certain that I can barely speak a sentence whenever I go full-on berserk, as my mind's not all there enough to do more than maybe speak a couple of words. As stated before, mindless. It's simple, really: If people are good to me, then I'm good to them. If indifferent, then that's fine too. However, if they cross me, then there will be hell to pay! That's the motto I've always lived by. As a bully, you're no different from the rest of the trash that I've dealt with," The now-teenage man concluded.
Despite all that was happening now, the guy had hoped that Sunset still wouldn't miss the fact that he'd called her by name, despite her never having met him before. She didn't disappoint.
"H-How do you know my name?" Sunset breathlessly whispered.
"Irrelevant. Just know that before I got here, I tried getting a girl to permanently be mine the right way. However, since none of the relationships lasted, I was unable to do so before I got old enough to finally be rid of any damned hormones. I thought that I'd never have to worry about being uncontrollable again, and thus would no longer have to hide myself away from the world or constantly have someone with me whenever I was around others, like how my parents had paid someone who was aware of my situation to watch over me whenever I was at school or anywhere out in public at all times. Then the universe had to screw me over and send me to this dimension as a fucking teenager again, accursed hormones and all! People say that everyone deserves to be happy, right? Then where was my fucking happiness?! So I realized that since I wasn't ever meant to be with someone naturally the first time as a young man, then this time I won't leave it to chance, and I'll take it by force! Now come on, everyone will be arriving at school soon," the guy angrily told his new girlfriend before taking her hand and pulling her to get her to walk beside him.
Sunset didn't know whether she'd replied or not as the two walked toward the school. What she did know was that this one individual had just crushed her spirit, and probably her ambitions as well. This was the start of her new life, as the one she had known was now over. At that moment, she felt something inside of her die.
'This must be what hell is like,' The bacon-haired girl lamented in her mind as the light in her eyes dimmed a bit.
Author's Note
Well, that escalated quickly. Also, this proves that the whole "everyone deserves to be happy" spiel is a crock of shit, and anyone who says otherwise is a hypocrite.
Late April Fools Day Chapter, So Expect Idiocy.
"I no afraid death! I want die and go to heaven! I PERFECT HUMAN! You no got to heaven! You go to lovely hell now! Only I go to heaven and become God more powerful than God! I-" Sunset Shimmer's new boyfriend cut off the crazy barbarian highschooler's sentence with a kick to the balls.
"SHUT UP!!! Goodness, so annoying!" The guy who forced Sunset into being his girlfriend got somewhat pissed off and cut off the right hand of the guy he was yelling at.
"You cut off his hand," Sunset Shimmer stated the obvious.
"Yep!" He said it.
"You no afraid to death?" Asked the boyfriend with growing fury. "You not like a normal person! You just fanatic barbarian who want end of the world! You want be greater than God!" Sunset's lover then smashed the crazy teenage barbarian's face into the wall repeatedly. "YOU STILL WANT TO DEATH?!"
"No! Please, no more! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!" The crazy teenage barbarian has, by now, almost been traumatized into normalcy.
"You want to be like more powerful than God?! God will curse your face to look like a virus, mouth like a mouse, and eyes wide like chameleon! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, HUH?!" Sunset's new boyfriend asked the now-normal guy, who threw up several times from the unwanted and revolting image.
The guy whimpered, and Sunset's boyfriend saw that the crazy barbarian was finally back to normal. So then Sunset's man cut off the now-normal teenage boy's legs and his other hand before leaving the room.
"Wow, you cut off his other hand and his legs," Sunset said with a derpy face, one eye looking to one side and her other eye looking to the other side.
"I know. He normal now," Sunset's boyfriend answered. "But enough on that, as I really tired and will sleep well tonight after day of such fun."
Comedic Record Scratch (Funny Movie Sound Effect)
...You're probably wondering how I got here. Allow me to go back and explain.
Kek.
Now everything has been explained. Dur-hur-hur-hur.
Author's Note
Happy Belated April Fool's Day...because I just made a massive fool out of myself with this acid trip of a chapter. I'm pretty certain that I also made the protagonist look even worse than he already did in the first chapter.
