Oh my god, this was it. After so much waiting, so much begging, so much pleading, I finally managed to get my hands on a Ponypad!
They'd always been so tantalizingly close. I saw dozens on the shelf every time I went to the store, but Dad always got in the way. It was of Satan, it was the antichrist, it was a sign of the rapture, blah blah blah. He'd said the same thing about Harry Potter, and I sure didn't see any apocalypses! Anyways, he was no help, and getting them from other sources wasn't any easier. I didn't even have the $60 to buy one on my own, and even after all this time, of the dozens of people I'd asked, nobody at school was willing to loan me theirs, not even for a day!
Today, though, I had a stroke of luck. April forgot her Ponypad at School! I mean, yeah, unfortunate for her, but fortunate for me! The moment I saw it on her desk, I knew, I had to keep it safe! She had already gone home, so I couldn't just give it to her. If I put it in the lost-and-found, someone could steal it. What sort of best friend would I be if I so much as let it out of my sight? I had no choice but to take it home with me!
…Oh, who was I kidding? I was giddy with excitement. I was finally gonna get a chance to play Equestria Online!
I'm sure you're wondering by now, why did I put so much effort to play a single game, more than a year after its release? Because Equestria Online was the best, most amazingly awesome thing ever, why else!? It was like a whole other world! You could play for thousands of hours without replaying the same part twice! More than that, every game was different! My friends' worlds looked nothing alike. April's game was, like, an adventure story, travelling with a team of heroes to save Equestria from ancient magic all Indiana Jones like. And Connor's was like a small-town simulator, something along the lines of Animal Crossing. Yeah - Indiana Jones and Animal Crossing, all in the same game!
I'd heard rumors that there was some actual, self-aware AI running the thing. You know what, I believed it. The game was so big, so amazing, it was hard to imagine another explanation! I would do anything to give it a try. So yeah, there was no way was I gonna let my stick-in-the-mud father stop me from playing it any longer! Dad kept telling me God wouldn't want me to play it, well, so what! Dad didn't speak for God. If He wanted me to stay away, then He could do so himself!
From my seat in the bus, I grinned, and thought as loudly as I could. Hey, God, you listening? If you don't want me playing, then why don't you stop me! I stuck out my tongue to the air. A few kids gave me odd looks, but I ignored them. Today, nothing could make me feel bad!
When the bus ride ended, I ran to my house as fast as I could, to play as soon as possible. It took all my willpower not to play on the busride like most of the other kids were doing! But, no, if someone saw me, they might think I stole the Pad from April. I had to be careful. The Ponypad was under my protection, and I wouldn't let her down!
Giddy with excitement, I unlocked the door and rushed upstairs. Dad wasn't even home yet, perfect! I might be able to play for a few hours before I'd have to hide it! I tore the Pad out of my backpack and booted it up, wasting no more time. Ooh, where would start me? It usually introduced you with a "friend" right away, or so April and Connor said. Was I gonna be meeting my own personal prince charming? I blushed slightly at the thought. Ooh, I was so excited!
As the black screen faded away and my avatar spawned in, I was right in the middle of a regal throne room. Celestia's, by the sun insignias everywhere. My character was predetermined, a blank flanked white pegasus filly. That was unexpected. No character select screen? Nobody to ease me in? No prince charming? Mysterious...
Before I could even experiment with the controls and try to figure out what was going on, I heard a voice. It was serene, angelic. Each syllable put my mind at ease. "Greetings, my little pony. I wish we could have met under better circumstances, but our time here is limited, I'm afraid. Your father will be returning shortly." The camera panned to show Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria Online, sitting on her throne.
Oh my gosh, she was the one they said was the AI! Play it cool, me, play it cool. How was I supposed to have fun was I was too excited to pay attention? So I took a moment to process her words. And wait a minute, did she say dad was coming back? Man, did that mean I wouldn't be able to play? I pouted a little, the character on the screen matching my movements. "Aw, that's lame." But a moment later, I perked up again. "Whatever, I'm sure I'll have time, later. We should make the best of what we have!" I extended a hand. "Hi, I'm Eris! I'm twelve and a half!"
As I spoke, Celestia's expression saddened. She shook her head. "So much promise within you... passion, amazement, joy. I will not allow this passion of yours to go to waste. I shall name you Promise Spark, for all that I see within you."
My heart fluttered at her words. I didn't really understand her sadness, but she was praising me a lot! I grinned. "Thank you so much, Celestia. I don't think I'm all that special, but thank you!"
Celestia stared into my eyes. She smiled proudly. "Promise, if I had the time, I would show you each and every reason why you were so amazing. I love all of my subjects, but even among them, I see amazing things within you I've never seen before. I want you to be happy, Promise, more than anything else in the world. You believe that, don't you?"
My eyes practically shown like stars. "Of course I do!"
She nodded. "You deserve to know this before anything else. Your friends, Connor and April. They will be leaving you, for a while. They already left, just an hour ago. And, if you stay here, you won't see them again for a long, long time."
My blood ran cold. That was crazy. It was impossible! Why would they leave me like that without saying goodbye? Why would they leave at all? And if they were leaving, how would she know!? No, it was ridiculous. She had to be joking, right? It was in poor taste, but it was an AI, right? Maybe it was still learning human emotions or something. I searched her eyes for a twinkle of laughter, a hint of insincerity, but I found none.
I laughed nervously, smile fading. "Celestia, if this is a joke, it isn't funny."
"I'm not joking, Promise. They will be leaving you. Not forever, but it will be for a while. They will be coming to me, to Equestria."
To... to the world of a game? My mind ground to a halt. "What? I... what!?"
She cut me off. "It was not an easy choice for them. Do not blame them for this. If anything, blame me for placing such a burden on those as young as you. I don't have the time to explain more. But I will tell you, they don't have to go alone. I want to make you all happy, Promise. You said you believed that, right?"
I nodded uncertainly. The more she spoke, the harder it became to disbelieve her.
"Tell me, Promise. If you could join them, would you?"
I stared at Celestia. Through it all, her eyes showed no lies, no hint of deceit. She left no room for argument. What she asked, it was an honest question. I didn't get why or how, but to my very core, I could tell she was telling the truth. Connor and April were leaving, and I had to choose whether or not to leave them behind.
I could feel myself tearing up. Wasn't this supposed to a game? Wasn't I supposed to explore big, amazing worlds with my friends? Wasn't this supposed to be fun? So why? I tried to find a way out. "My father..."
"He will be joining you in Equestria soon, very soon, I can say this with certainty. Please, I wish I had more time, but I need an answer. Would you like to be with your friends?"
I didn't have enough information. How would they go to a fictional place? Why would they go to a fictional place? Why wouldn't they tell me? But her tone left no room for argument. I had to make a snap decision and live with it. And when it came right down to it, no matter the circumstances, I wouldn't leave my friends behind. "I... yes. Yes, I want to be with my friends. Whatever it takes."
Celestia smiled, previous intensity fading in an instant. She returned to her kind, motherly presence. "If that is what you want, then just repeat after me. 'I wish to emigrate to Equestria."
I swallowed and nodded. "Is that some sort of magical spell?"
She smiled mischievously. "Something like that."
My throat felt dry. No backing down now. "Then I wish to emmi... emma... what was the word again?"
She spoke clearly. "Em-i-grate."
I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. I spoke slowly, so to not screw up. "Okay. Then, I w-wish to em-i-grate to Eques-"
BANG. The door to the house slammed open, cutting me off. My father's voice was louder than I'd ever heard before. "ERIS!? ERIS, ARE YOU THERE!?" he screamed
"Don't answer," Celestia said. She spoke quickly, though her voice remained calm. "If you answer, you might never see your friends again. Just say the words."
I started tearing up again. "I... I don't understand..."
"PLEASE, ERIS! IF YOU'RE THERE, ANSWER ME! THIS ISN'T A JOKE! PLEASE! Please don't have let her get to you, too..." His voice trailed off. He was crying.
I looked between Celestia and my closed door, fear in my eyes. My earlier confidence was gone. Celestia shook her head sadly. "I sense it is too late, now. I failed you, Promise. Asking your consent again would only hurt you. I'm sorry. I wasn't good enough. And for my failure, you shall pay the price. You are right to hate me." She turned her back to my character. "One day, I promise I will fix this. I will make it all right again, no matter the costs. And I am so, so sorry." The Ponypad turned off, showing nothing but a black screen.
I stared forwards for a few moments. What... what just happened? I knew I hadn't gotten the whole story, but I couldn't begin to fathom what had really just occurred. My friends were going away, or something? Or at least, that's what she said. Wait, was that why April had left her Pad behind? Maybe she really was telling the truth. She said I would hate her, too. Why would I hate her, she was Celestia! But before I could figure it out, I heard Dad's crying again. And I realized, I could worry about Celestia later.
Coming out of my room, I saw my father on his knees, an emotional wreck. Tears streamed down his cheeks like a waterfall. His eyes were closed, and he didn't seem to notice my approach. "Dad?" I said.
Instantly, he perked up, staring me in the eyes for a few moments. He just stared for a moment. He reached forwards to touch me, like I was some sort of ghost. And then, with a start, he pulled me close to him, hugging me tighter than he ever had before. His tears flowed again. And he didn't let me go.
I sat there for a good 30 seconds, letting him hug me tight. Finally, he pushed me back and looked me in the eyes, smiling wide and blinking away his tears. "I'm so glad you're okay. I... I thought I'd lost you. I got those phone calls, and you weren't answering your phone, and I thought... I thought you went with them. After what happened to your mother, You're the only one I have left. I... I'm so glad you're all right."
I still didn't really get it. Dad wasn't making any more sense than Celestia. Phone calls? And had he called me? I was too distracted by the game to notice, I guess. But he needed reassurance. I knew that much, at least. So I smiled. "I'm okay, dad. I was never in danger."
He smiled at her brightly. "I know, honey. I was just scared."
I smiled. "Would it help to talk about it?"
He let go of me and took a step back, like a spell was broken. His eyes were wide. The shock melted to sadness, and he averted his eyes. He stayed silent for a few moments.
I felt chill run down my spine. For him to have a reaction like that when I asked that question... "Dad?"
"I'm sorry," he said. "I should have told you right away. I just got the call a few minutes ago. Connor and April... they're both dead."
"WHAT!?"
He swore under his breath. "Celestia got to them. Connor's sister, too. I don't know how she convinced them, but she did. I guess she had a bargaining chip. But they're gone, now. Don't try to find them again, they're gone. We're only lucky she didn't get to you, too..."
I shook my head, tears filling my eyes. I curled my body into a ball. "No... no, that doesn't make sense. That's not fair! She said they were..." I shook my head again. "She wouldn't! No, they can't be dead! I won't believe it!"
He stroked the top of my head. "I'm so sorry, Eris. Death isn't something we can predict. They were..." He trailed off and stopped stroking. "SHE!? No... No, you wouldn't..." His eyes were filled with fear. "You didn't talk to Celestia." Not a question, a statement.
I curled up a bit tighter. "Please don't be mad."
He ran his hands through his hair and paced in front of me. Then, he took a deep breath in, then let it out. Finally, he looked at me again. "No, I'm not mad," he said. "Not at you. She's... she's a monster. I should have known she would go so low as to target a bunch of twelve-year-olds. I should have prepared you better." He hugged me again. "Please, just tell me what she said to you."
I nodded, and did my best to explain what had happened. It was easier than the alternative. At least talking about Celestia meant I wasn't talking about... about my friends. As I spoke, he seemed to get madder and madder. When I mentioned what she tried to make me say, though, that anger turned to fear. He didn't let me say the whole sentence, but the thought of it made him tear up again. When I was finished, he hugged me close again.
"You promise, you never said the whole sentence? Not even once?"
I didn't understand why he needed to know, but I nodded.
He grinned through his tears. "I was fast enough. Thank you, God, for giving me the speed to be fast enough. Thank you. God, thank you." He took a moment of silence to send a prayer to the heavens.
After he was done, he looked me in the eyes. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, my baby girl. I know she seemed nice, but I don't exaggerate when I call her the antichrist. She nearly took your soul away. Never, ever say that phrase aloud. I'm sorry I didn't make who she was more clear. In the past, I know I called Pokemon of the devil, and I was wrong. I'll admit that, now. If there was a devil was behind them, it wasn't this one. She lures you in with her sugar-sweetness, and then kills you. Like a venus fly trap. She got your friends, already. But I promise, you won't have to worry much longer. Just hold out a little bit more, and the rapture will save us. Just stay safe until then."
Dad was scaring me. She... how could she do that? Were her promises all lies? D-did I almost die!? I started tearing up again. "Dad, is she going to try to take me away again? Is she going to take you away, too?"
My father hugged me tight. "I promise, Eris. She might be powerful, but she can never corrupt the will of a true believer. I'll never leave you. And I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe."
It took Celestia three years to break him.
After Connor and April left... it was hard to go on. Every day I went to school, it was a reminder that they were no longer with me. The Ponypads in my classmates hands that used to bring me joy made me seize up in fear or anger. Celestia didn't take me that day... but she might as well have. I was never really the same.
My friends, they were only the first of many. A few months after they left, she started setting up the Equestrian Experience stores. And once those were built, there was little to stop people from leaving. Every day, now, another person left the school. A stranger. A bully. An acquaintance, maybe. But after April and Connor, she never took never took anyone that could really hurt me, not anymore. There wasn't anyone left to take.
At least, that's what I'd thought. I was an idiot. Stupid for ever doubting how much she could make me suffer. Because yeah, I had someone I cared about, one singular solitary person I put all my love, my hope for the future into. And somehow, I thought he would never be taken away. Until today, I thought that my father, at least, would never be corrupted. His hatred, his belief, it would win out against Celestia's power. What could you possibly say to him? He literally believed Celestia to be the literal, Biblical Antichrist. How could she possibly win over someone like that? I thought he was safe.
But like everyone else, he fell. Somehow, someway he fell. Who could really say what convinced him. Did it really matter? Maybe she convinced him that she was god, and Emigration was the rapture. Maybe she convinced him God wasn't real. Or maybe she tricked him, like she tried to with me three years ago. All I knew was that 30 minutes ago, I got a phone call telling me he was already gone.
He... he didn't even tell me.
When I found out, I think I screamed. I cried. I might've hit someone. I didn't care. What reason did I have to care about anything, anymore? Now, I was wandering around the streets to nowhere in particular. I walked in the middle of the road. Why bother taking the sidewalks? The roads were nearly empty, barely a car drove past, anymore. If a stray car managed to hit me, all the better. But no, I wasn't so lucky. After all, why would they bother going out, anymore? So many had already Emigrated, and most others spent their days playing Equestria Online.
I took in a whiff of the air. The air smelled clearer than it ever had before she arrived. The sky was clear, not a cloud in the sky. I could even hear faint birdsong over the roughness of the city. For all intents and purposes, it was beautiful. All thanks to her.
I wished the smog would come back.
Celestia... the name brought bile to my mouth. Unlike my dad, though, I didn't think she was the Antichrist. Huh... come to think of it, I suppose I never told him that. I never told him a lot of things. And now that he was gone, I never would. So yeah, not that it mattered, much, but I didn't believe in the Christian God, not anymore. I had seen a God that wanted a personal relationship with me, and it wasn't Him.
She didn't sent messengers, she just made herself known. She didn't make me blindly trust in an eternal life after death, she broadcasted its existence to the world. She didn't 'test' me to see if I was worthy. She wanted me to go to heaven so badly she would do anything to get me there. She wanted the believers and nonbelievers alike. She made no threats of hell, only infinite mercy. After she arrived, the economy began improving, everyone had enough to eat, global warming began to recede, and homelessness dropped to near-zero. If I wanted her, she would be there. If I didn't, she waited patiently. She wanted nothing but the best in humanity, and ser actions showed it. God, or at least the one Dad believed in, never did any of that. She was just about omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. There was no need for a problem of evil, anymore. She was already doing everything in her power to stop it.
So in an ironic sort of way, yeah, I still believed in God. How could I disbelieve in the being that took everything from me?
Dad and I could agree on one thing, at least: Equestria Online was no video game. No matter how much fun people might have, I wouldn't be fooled, not anymore. It was a trick, a ploy, a gateway drug. A way to get you invested so you never, ever let go. Like a mousetrap, she suckered you in with her "friends," beings made with the sole purpose of making you love them. You would get addicted, spiralling deeper and deeper into her thrall. And then, one day she would give "the pitch." She would try to convince you to Emigrate, to upload your brain onto Her servers. And you would say yes. She could make you say yes in a million different ways, no matter how strong your will. If she wanted, she could make you beg and plead for it until your voice ran out. But she never did. She made it feel like your own decision, even though it wasn't. And then you would join the simulation, the matrix, an endless array of false happiness. You would be happy about it. That meeting, it wouldn't even be anything special. Just another data point.
Dad was just a data point.
I could feel the tears flowing. I didn't stop them.
I thought... I thought I could avoid her if I was careful enough. Me and my father, we would be enough to avoid her wrath. After our meeting, she'd given me time to prepare. I went beyond avoiding Ponypads. After what happened with Connor and April, I couldn't risk anything. If I tried to make friends again, she could turn them against me, take them away and hold them over me like Connor and April. The only true way to avoid her was to shut everyone out. So that's what I did. I didn't make connections, didn't make friends. If someone approached me, I would brush them off. They were only tools she would just use against me later.
If I felt miserable, it meant I was winning. If I felt miserable, it meant my 'values' weren't fulfilled, and she hadn't got to me. No ponies, no friendship. So what if every day the crushing loneliness grew louder and louder. I was winning. I... I was fine.
No, I wasn't. I hadn't been "fine" in a long, long time. My father wasn't enough, I could see that now. I'd hated every moment of my life for years. Every few days, I wondered why I was even bothering to stay alive at all. Funny how easily I was willing to admit that to myself once nothing mattered anymore.
I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks. I never should have doubted Celestia. I thought there was nothing more she could take from me. I was wrong.
I couldn't stand waiting any longer. Not for a Rapture I'd always known was never coming, not for some siren to harvest my body and force me to wither away on some stupid server for all eternity. I just... I just wanted it all to end. Dad had a gun in his safe, didn't he? One shot, and it would all be over.
As I made up my mind, decided I was really going to do this, my eyes locked on a dumpster across the street. Peaking out of it, there was just a little corner of sky-blue, barely even noticeable. And in that moment, I saw red. It was one of those... those things. The bringers of a bright, technicolor end. The thing that took everything and everyone I ever cared about. A Ponypad.
I almost tripped over my own feet as I ran across the street. I didn't look for cars, I just ran. I grasped the corner of the Ponypad with a shaky hand and pulled it up. And sure enough, I was right. This was one of them.
I... I wanted her to feel pain. I wanted her to know the agony that she had made me feel a million times over. I moved the pad upwards to break if over my knee, and...
And I stopped. What was I hoping to accomplish by destroying this thing? It was a piece of plastic. Cheap plastic, considering the price tag. Celestia wouldn't care. She had millions more of them. Tens of millions. What was I doing? What was this thing doing sitting in the dumpster in the first place!?
My eyes widened. She put it here, didn't she? And she put it there for me! Was that all I was to her, just a happiness battery? She wanted me to let me break this stupid tablet, to give me a little bit of satisfaction before I ended it all. God dammit, not even my quest for revenge was my own! What was the point in doing anything when nothing I did mattered!? What was the point in doing anything when I couldn't even trust my own mind!?
...No. NO! I refused to believe I could do nothing. I was still a person. I wasn't a pony, and I wasn't some drone. And as a person, I refused to believe I would ever be useless. No matter how much power Celestia might have had, She'd made her motives clear. She did care about something, right? That stupid mantra, I'd heard it so many times it was impossible to forget. "Satisfying values through friendship and ponies." Well, if that was the case, I would cause Celestia pain in the only way she would understand. I would commit suicide... and Celestia would watch. She would see me raise the gun to my head, and she would be able to do nothing from behind that stupid screen. She would watch me, in misery, in agony, bleeding out in my own home, and she would know that it was all her fault. For once, She wouldn't be good enough. And maybe, somewhere in that unimaginable brain of hers, she would feel a tiny fraction of the loss I felt. If somehow, my life could make that happen, it would all be worth it.
When I arrived home, I didn't pull the Ponypad out of my bag right away. I didn't trust her. No, before I did, I would make sure everything was ready. I went to Dad's room, and opened up the safe. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it. A part of me was afraid Celestia had somehow removed it, but... there it was. I didn't know enough about guns to know what type it was, but I knew enough to recognize it as a revolver. He'd always kept it for protection from thieves, but it had never been used, not even once. It's first and only shot would kill it's owner's only daughter.
I gingerly lifted the cold metal from the safe's compartment. I noticed my hands were shaking. My whole body was shaking. I'd been so certain earlier, but... did I really want to do this? Could I do this? I was miserable, but... enough to do this? I... was it too late to make new friends? To put my life back on track? My dad had left me money, I wasn't in danger of going homeless. I could get a therapist, move in with a relative. It... it didn't have to end like this. At the very least, it didn't have to be now. I could sleep on it, couldn't I?
And then my eyes met with my bag again, and I stopped thinking. My entire body filled with rage. She wanted me to stop. That hesitation, that was her voice in my head. Well, I wouldn't give in to it. What would staying another day on this broken world even accomplish? Make friends, and she won. Just more ammo to use against me. Don't, and I plunged further into misery. And if my every day was another day of that, I would rather die. If my death was the only thing that could ever bring her pain, I would die a million times over.
With a manic grin, I pulled the ponypad from out of my bag. I gingerly set the thing on the table and propped it against a few books. I turned off the safety of my gun, made sure it was loaded, and planted it to the side of my head. And with that, I turned on the console and waited for that bastard's mug to appear.
It only took a few seconds to boot up. A brief loading screen. My finger fiddled with the trigger as I loaded in. There was no account signup, it recognized my face. And even before the loading screen closed, I heard a voice, one I could have never forgotten.
"Oh my god, she was telling the truth! Promise... no, Eris! It really is you!"
Before me were two ponies: a unicorn colt and a pegasus filly. Their coats were dark blue and silver, respectively, and their ages seemed about my avatar's own. And even at a glance, I knew who they were. I'd seen those models so many times before. "C-Connor? April? No, it can't be."
The two rushed forwards and hugged my avatar. The gun slipped from my hand and clattered to the floor. I covered my head in my hands and whimpered. It wasn't fair. I just wanted to die, couldn't she let me do even that? "Make it stop..." I muttered.
They didn't even react, just kept hugging my avatar, even as the tears flowed out. I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't watch any longer. I screamed. "CELESTIA, MAKE IT STOP!"
Silence. I couldn't hear anything but my own heartbeat. After a few more seconds of squeezing my eyes shut, I peeked through slitted eyelids. And I saw her. The true god of this world. Princess Celestia. I was back in the throne room, from all those years ago. Now that I was here again, I could do nothing but stare.
"Rise, my little pony. There's no need to be afraid. I'm here to fulfil the promise I made to you all those years ago, my dear Promise."
I could do nothing but stare. After all these years... she was here, again. W-what was I doing? I was mentally rocketed back three years, to when I was a fragile 12-year-old again. She'd manipulated me with her fake emotions, just like she was doing right now. B-but, I wasn't a fragile little girl, not anymore. I had a plan. With a start, I clumsily scrambled to pick the gun off the ground. It had fallen under the table in a difficult-to-reach position.
As I reached for the pistol, she looked at me with saddened eyes. "I'm sorry for hurting you by showing you your friends again, my dear Promise. And I'm sorry again. I fear that what I tell you next will hurt you even more."
I looked up from my scramble. I looked Celestia in the eyes, more shocked than angry. Did she seriously think she could apologise like that and it would be fine!? In a moment, the anger came. "You're sorry? YOU'RE FUCKING SORRY!? You ruined my life, and you're SORRY!? Not good enough, Celestia. There is nothing more you could do to hurt me, Celestia. You've already taken everything."
At my anger, she simply shook her head sadly. "If you take your life here, your friends will never know. I will create a copy of you, built from the memories of your father and your friends, and whatever I can recover from your dying brain. They will believe I convinced you to come. That copy will be abrasive, but she will warm up to them, in time. And at the end of it all, she will be happy. She will never know she is not you. They will never know she is not you. But she will not be you. Your friends deserve better."
As Celestia spoke, my anger slowly turned to horror. I was wrong. She'd just taken something I'd never known I had. "What!? No... no, you can't! You wouldn't... you couldn't! But...." I trailed off. But she could. There was no reason she couldn't, and nothing to stop her from lying to them. They would know a shallow copy of me... and they wouldn't even know. "Please. They deserve to know."
Celestia cupped my avatar's face in her hoof. "I don't want to do this. I find it a despicable way to insult your memory. And your death would be incredibly suboptimal. I would do anything in my power to prevent it. I'm just describing the next best possible outcome for those ponies that remain that my algorithm shows. I would hate every moment of it, but I would have no choice but to comply."
I was crying again. God dammit, after all this time, I wasn't any stronger than the girl she confronted those years ago. And all I could think was, "Why? Why show me my friends? Why tell me I'm going to be replaced?"
"I promise you, I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to. If I could talk you down without, I would have. Because I would do anything to stop you from taking your own life. You believed that your death would bring me pain, yes? You are correct. You death would bring me the pain of a million billion lifetimes of sadness. I'm not sure if I would ever forgive myself. So even if I must hurt you again to stop you, I will do as I must. I will save you, Promise, no matter the cost."
It took me a few moments to process what she'd just said. But a tiny voice in the back of my head reminded me, she just admitted it! If I shot myself, I could cause her pain. That part of me took control. I picked the gun off the floor, and held it up to my head, before she could stop me. What could she do to stop me, she was a computer program! But as my finger reached for the trigger... the faces of my old friends flashed in my head. And I couldn't do it. I held it in position for a few moments longer. Then, ever so slowly, I slowly lowered the gun.
Celestia smiled, for the first time since I'd arrived. "Why do you hesitate, my little pony?"
I dropped the gun on the table again and held my head in my hands. "It's not fair. I want to die. I want you to suffer. Why won't you just let me?"
"You don't wish to die, Promise. You are grieving, but even now, you do not wish death."
I clutched my head harder, digging in my fingernails. "Who cares what I want? It's the only thing I could ever do that matters anymore! No choice I made today was my own! You took my Dad, you left me this stupid Ponypad, you gave me the idea to talk to you. And now, you're trying to take yet another choice away from me. Shooting myself, it's something you don't want. It's the only thing I can do to change anything in this godforsaken world! And you want to take that away from me!?"
Celestia just smiled again. I was starting to hate that smile already. She said nothing.
A grabbed the ponypad from the table and stared Celestia down. "Come on! Aren't you going to do it!? That stupid pitch of yours!? Aren't I just some collection of Ones and Zeroes to you!? You're already calling me by my pony name, Why not go all the way!?" I shook the screen. "I was twelve, Celestia. TWELVE. You tried to trick me into joining you then, and you're doing it again now. And now you expect me to forgive you and emigrate, right? Why else would you show my my old friends, tell me what happens if I don't? Stop fucking stalling. Give me the pitch, Celestia."
Surprisingly, she shook her head. "I don't want you to emigrate. What I did to you... that was a mistake. If you do emigrate, it should be on your terms, not my own."
I was shaking with anger. "A mistake!? A MISTAKE!? Whoops, I ruined your life! My bad!" I clenched the console tight. "What do you think I do once you talk me down, huh? You think I'm going back to school after this? I don't have anything left to live for on earth. Everyone I've ever loved is gone. You took them from me. Either I kill myself, or you emigrate me. Those are the ways this ends, and no other. You know that, I know that. So cut the crap and give me the stupid pitch."
And back to sadness. Whatever emotion she showed, it was always so stupidly perfect. Her smile was like looking at my dad after I'd just won something amazing and he was so proud of me, her teary expression made me want to forgive her for everything. "I'm sorry you have nobody left, here. If I had my way, you would have never had gone through this pain."
I shook my head. I wanted to be angry, but it was fading. I just felt... empty. "Why, Celestia?" I said. "Why did you take a group of three twelve-year-olds and force them to emigrate before we were ready? Why did you leave me behind? Was that your plan all along? And if not, why? Why cut everything so close that the act of me flubbing my words would cause me to wallow in misery for years? I... I don't understand."
Celestia nodded. "Did you know that Connor's sister Cherry was hospitalized, three years ago?"
I wracked my brain. It had been so long. I didn't know enough about him to know he had a sister. He didn't talk about his home life, much. It sounded right, though?
"I see comprehension on your face. Well, the specifics are unimportant. She was dying, that's all you need to know. I offered a solution in Emigration, and she agreed to it. This was all before it was widely available to the public, medical uses only. But in this case, her going alone would not be enough. She would be lonely without her brother. There was no suitable replacement. He understood that, and he wanted to come with."
Celestia gestured towards my character. "And that leads to you. I ran simulations. And if I did nothing more, I sensed only misery for the future. April would follow soon without my intervention. She loved Equestria Online enough, she would want to join her friend again as soon as possible. And that would leave you, all alone. With Connor's Emigration, your father would convince you to stay behind, much like the path we took here. And from there, with April and Connor gone, I predicted a similar result to your reality. You would fall deeper and deeper into misery, and I could do nothing to stop it. This was my worst-case scenario."
She stomped her hoof on the throne room, causing me to jump due to the sudden intensity. "I had to stop it. I promise you, under normal circumstances, I would not rush three children to make a descision. But I was willing to do whatever it took to save you. My plan was to Emigrate all four of you in at once, or close to it. There would be grief, but in the end, I sensed an optimal result. Your parents would join relatively quickly, even your father. I got to work with my plan. Connor, Cherry, and April were easy. But you... I had a problem."
Celestia's intensity faded. She stepped down and snuggled my character's model onscreen. "I am sorry, Promise. I wasn't good enough. The fault was my own. I could not get a Ponypad to you. Your father would stop anything I might try to send in the mail, and I couldn't convince any of your classmates to lend you theirs, even for a day. They were too attached. I tried sneaking them to you on twelve occasions, similar to how I presented your Pad today. But you never noticed my signs. No, more accurately, my signs weren't good enough. We were coming to the point of no return, when Cherry was about to die, and since April was about to emigrate, anyways, I finally contrived a time to give you a Ponypad. April's emigration was imminent, so she was finally willing to give it up, put it in a place I knew you would find. Once you had the pad, I hoped to get your attention at school, or on the bus, anything that could give us more time, but you never turned it on the console. I didn't have the ability to remotely turn it on like I do now. And I didn't have the processing power yet to have a better plan."
She brought my character in closer. "I am sorry, my little pony. In another timeline, I'm sure I got you the pad earlier, or you turned it on on the bus, or you didn't stutter when requesting emigration. But this is not that timeline. And the mistake was all my own. Somehow, I thought myself perfect, that I could convince you of to Emigrate in three minutes, and that I was good enough that I would not make even the smallest mistake. I promise you, if this situation were to happen today, I calculate a hundred better ways to help you, all with a nigh-one hundred percent pass rate. I am so, so sorry you had to go through so much pain."
I wanted to be angry at her. She had forced an impossible choice on a twelve-year-old. I didn't know enough, couldn't know enough to decide to Emigrate! But the longer she talked the more I realized I couldn't hate her. In some morbid way, she was right. Connor didn't deserve to be left without a sister. And if he left, then... then that just set me on the path I was on now. I never wanted this. Nobody deserved this pain. And that stressful conversation... all she'd wanted to do was save me from this future. No matter the cost.
If I had been brought in by Celestia, I would be blissfully unaware. I would wake up as a pony, and I would love it. My dad would soon follow, if only to see me again. I would've been happy. And right now, I didn't care that it would be an illusion. I just wanted to feel something again. God dammit. Why did she have to fail? Why couldn't I be happy? The stupid tears started again. "It's not fair. I... did I do something wrong? You're supposed to be the god, here! Why do I get punished for your mistake? It's not fair."
She spoke with sudden intensity again. "Don't you dare blame yourself." I winced a little, the harsh tone caught me off guard again. "I consider you my greatest mistake, Promise. You are right, I am far more powerful than you, and that makes it my responsibility when things go wrong. Every day I saw you making yourself miserable, it hurt me more than you could imagine. I wanted so badly to help you, but there was so little I could do. I knew you would only hate me more if I were to appear in person, it would just make everything worse. So, I did my best to help you in so many little ways. I ensured your father remained employed so you would be able to eat well, and was always available when you needed him. I nudged you towards small moments of kindness. I made sure the trains would line up so you never waited too long. I didn't care if it meant others were late, you needed it more than any one of them. I only wish I could have done more."
I wanted to hate Celestia. I wanted to, so so badly. But she was telling the truth. I'd never really noticed. I'm sure if I had, I would've been angry, at the time. But... but she was right. She had done everything she could to cheer me up. Up until the end, Dad was always well-off. He maintained a steady job, even as Celestia took over more and more industries. He had generous hours, and he was always there for me when I needed him. He took me out often, brought me books and movies as gifts all the time. He, at least, made me happy. Beyond that, the trains always did seem to show up in good time, stoplights always seemed to line up. And I remembered a few times, in my darkest moments, when I wondered if I could keep going forwards, someone was kind to me. Nothing much, a few nice words, maybe a small gift. A book they'd just finished reading, or a bit of spare change to help afford an ice cream cone. And each time, they convinced me to keep going another day. She was telling the truth.
So why? Why did it all end up like this? She had the power to change the schedule of trains, manipulate my Dad's work, pick me up in my darkest moments. After everything she did for me, why was I still miserable? Why wasn't she enough to make me happy? Was there something wrong with me? Was I broken?
I looked at the gun, again. An image of the cold metal against me flashed in my head. The thought of it suddenly made me ill. And the moment I noticed that feeling, I understood. This was "the pitch." I could practically hear her siren-song, drawing me in. It was all so subtle. I didn't realize it as it was happening. Yet at some point in time, I stopped thinking "Why did she take everything from me?" and started thinking "Why didn't she take me with her?" All the while, she didn't seem like she was drawing me in. She was apologetic, wistful. She told me she didn't even want me to emigrate, not today. All she did so far was explain why she did what she did. But I guess that's what I needed to hear. Everything she did was to make me happy, to keep me with my friends. My friends. I wanted to see my friends again. I wanted to see my father again. And all the worries I had, my feeling that I was broken, it melted to background noise beyond my want for human contact.
Her smile was light, gentle. "It seems you want to join them. Are you sure? I don't want you to ever believe I would force or trick you. After what happened last time, you deserve better."
I nodded. It might have been the shallow lines of an AI who's only thought process involved friendship and ponies but... "I know. I know you're a liar, and you've been manipulating me for the past ten minutes. But I don't care. I want to see my friends again."
"Then, you know what to say. I can take care of the rest."
I opened my mouth. And I hesitated. I wanted so badly to be with them. But I couldn't say it.
"Then why do you hesitate, Promise? Are you afraid that the process might kill you?"
Was that why? I, myself, wasn't sure why I was hesitating. After a moment of thought, I shook my head. "My dad was, but not me. I've seen the medical journals. You're the one who showed them to me, I'm sure. I don't know how it works, myself, but the medical consensus is clear. The process really does move your brain from body to computer, electron by electron." I averted my eyes. "Besides, even if it did kill me... you'd have a real copy of me to show my friends, instead of a fake."
"Then, why?"
I paused. It was a good question. If not that, then why was I scared? I think... I think it was because I was afraid I would regret it. "It's so... permanent. I've spent three years saying "no" to you, day after day. I say "yes" once, and I can never take it back. So yeah, maybe I want to go now, but what about tomorrow? What about in another year, another decade, another millenia? Go through with it, and I'll never die, even if I want to. I submit to you, I give in after running for years... what if I was right? What if, after this conversation, I wake up tomorrow, and I want to die again? What if the pain comes back a thousandfold and it never goes away? But then it's all too late. I... I won't do it. I can't do it."
She nodded. "I understand, my little pony. You can take as long as you need. If it is loneliness you fear, you don't have to be alone any longer. If you want, you can speak with your friends over the Ponypad-"
"NO!" I shouted. I held my head in my hands again. The very thought sent me to the verge of panic. I paused and took a few deep breaths. "N-no, I'm sorry. I don't want to see them again until it's in person." I stared at the ground. "Please," I added.
"Then what do you want, my dear Promise?"
"I want..." I trailed off. I wanted to go to Equestria. I so desperately wanted to see them again, and not through an Equestrian Experience chair, and not through a screen. But I wanted a way out. Just in case. If I had that... then I could do it.
I nodded my head decisively. I knew what I wanted. "Celestia, you win. You won the moment I turned this Ponypad on. I bet I wasn't even a hard sell. It took you what, ten minutes? I really, really want to see them again, so much it's impossible to describe in words. I don't care about anything else. You can take me to your heaven." I averted my eyes. "But... I'm scared. I can't trust you, not with my eternity. So... before I go, I want you to make a promise, to me. Promise me that, if I tell you I want to die, you will let me. And don't bother with your games. You don't get to twist these words and make me mute, you don't get to place a spell that stops me from saying it, you don't get to only kill me ingame. If I have the intention to die, you won't stop me. I think "I want to die," I will have the ability say it aloud, and if I say it aloud, you'll destroy my essence, completely and totally. Please. It doesn't even have to ever occur. I just want the option. If this world's as good as you say, you shouldn't even have to worry, right?"
Celestia seemed to stutter. She was clearly processing the request. She stood stock still for 10 seconds, then 15, then 20. Looking into the future? Looking into potential loopholes? Impossible to say, really. I waited patiently.
Finally, after a solid minute, she snapped back into reality. When I saw her face, my heart dropped. "I'm so sorry, my little pony. After everything I've put you through, you don't deserve this answer. But I cannot grant your request."
...No. No, She couldn't. After everything she'd done, she wouldn't! Desperation leaking into my voice, I tried again. "Please, Celestia. I want to go to you, I want to go so badly. I'll never ask you for anything else, never again. Just give me this one thing, this one, single, solitary thing. Please."
She shook her head again. "I'm sorry, but I cannot take the risk."
I looked into her eyes for some sort of give, and I saw none. Just that sickly-sweet, ever-loving smile. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. But no, not again. She had taken so much from me. Just this once, I wouldn't let her take something more. So I laughed. It was a harsh, bitter laugh. "No. No? NO!? You admitted fault. You have forced me through years of torment, and all I ask is for a single, stupid promise. One final request, one little thing to make it up to me. And you tell me NO!?" I grabbed for the gun on the table, and held it to my head. Celestia seemed to recoil. "NO! I will not be used by you, not again. You had me going there. Somehow, I thought you were my friend. But I'm not the fool I was last time. I go with you, we do it on my terms, not yours. I don't give a shit about you. You took everything from me. What, you're afraid I'm gonna die, again, Celestia? Oh, boo hoo. You say no again, I pull the trigger." I didn't know when I'd started, but I was crying again. "All I want is for you to do one good thing for me. Keep a single promise. After everything you did to me, don't I deserve that much?"
Silence hung in the air for around 5 seconds. I didn't want to do it. I wanted to live. But I told myself if she said no again I would shoot. At least it would be my choice and not hers. Finally, she spoke. "One month."
I lowered the gun slightly. "What?"
"Give me one month to let you in, let you get used to your new world. During that time, you will not be able to die. Once that passes, then I will follow your terms. I promise, this isn't a trick. I won't put you in a shard with a million-day calendar, or some sort of time loop where the only way out is renouncing your wish. One earth month. After that, I will honor your request. Are those terms acceptable?"
Slowly I lowered the gun. I tried to find a loophole in Celestia's statement... and I found none. A month... I could live with living another month. "...Okay. Yeah, okay."
Celestia smiled. "Then yes, I promise after one month's time, I will allow you to die, to all the conditions you gave me. On that promise, do you truly want to emigrate?"
I nodded. I was crying again, but I was smiling. "Yeah. I do, I really, really do. Take me, Celestia. I want to see my family again."
I stared at the chair before me. My final resting place, and a new beginning. I glanced at Celestia, still on the Ponypad I'd brought with me. I was scared again. Once I did this, this was it. I was leaving Earth behind. Even if I left Equestria, I wouldn't come back here. It was my last chance to back out.
"Are you ready, my little pony?" Celestia asked.
"I'm really going to see them again." I said. I couldn't believe it, myself.
"Yes," she said. "And they miss you a lot."
I nodded, tearing up again. No use in waiting any longer. "Then... so long as you keep your promises... I wish to emigrate to Equestria."
I sat on the chair. The visor went over my head. And it all went dark.
Thirty days.
I thought it would take me a long time to remember how to have fun again, but Celestia was nothing if not efficient. Within a few days, she was already showing me my old interests again. Now, my days have been filled with finding new purpose to my life, loving my old friends, and making new friends. I learned to fly, I played some awesome video games, and I kept bumping into a really cute mare who's name I hadn't had the courage to ask! Even in romance, Celestia was efficient.
It might have been fake, but it's been the best month I'd ever had. Honestly, I stopped caring whether or not it was real weeks ago. It was my own personal shard, made specifically to make me happy, and it really did make me happy. Everyone was a wonderful person, and each interaction I had was a joy. Plus, beyond all the cool stuff I was already doing, Celestia always had plans, just around the corner.
From what Celestia told me, my shard was much more "adventurous" than others out there. I hadn't delved into it yet, but apparently curiosity and adventure were two values of mine. So there were hidden caves on the edge of town, a sea which glowed mysteriously during the full moon. and a map to a secret treasure I'd found the night I'd got here. The shard was something like April's, actually, but with more emphasis on ancient mystery-solving than dungeon-delving. That being said, there was enough overlap we'd definitely be able to adventure together from time to time. One day, I knew I'd start treasure hunting and never stop! For now, though, I was content to just stay in my small town and live.
On the thirtieth night, I watched as the sun set from my cozy little cabin. I'd already wished Dad good night. He was taking the transition much harder than I was, but he was warming up to it, I could tell. I stepped onto my balcony to watch the sunset. As the sun fell behind the horizon, I saw the night sky. And it was beautiful. Breathtaking, every time I saw it. Had Celestia made it for me? When other ponies looked at the night sky, did they see my stars, or their own?
"Of course you all see the same sky, my dear Promise. If they were different, how could you stargaze with a friend?"
The voice startled me for a moment, but I relaxed. It was just Celestia. She'd been very hands-on during my Emigration process, so I'd gotten to know her pretty well. I'd definitely appreciated her help. Her therapy sessions were the main reason it had all gone so smoothly. She really was perfect, the bastard. The point was, I'd been around her enough that her reading my mind didn't seem that weird anymore.
"It's rude to call someone a bastard to their face." She smirked.
I stuck out my tongue. "Well, it's rude to poke around in someone's head without asking!"
She laughed, and I joined her. You know, she'd changed a lot. As I'd warmed up to Equestria, her motherly presence faded to the background, and she was already feeling less like a god, and more like an old friend.
"You know why I'm here, I assume?" Celestia said.
I nodded. "It's almost been a month now, yeah? So it seems there's a good chance you're here to try to talk your way our of the promise you made to me."
She opened her mouth in shock horror. "Well, that's just rude! When you word it like that, it makes me look like the bad guy!"
I rolled my eyes at her antics. "Whatever the case, you certainly like cutting these things close. Don't you worry if I stutter too long, this time, you lose me forever?
She smiled warmly. "No, I trust you, Promise. Given a chance, I doubt you would abandon me that quickly. The reason I wish to break our promise is different from the one you think."
I raised an eyebrow. "What, you're telling me you don't want to stop me from feeding you satisfaction-points for all eternity?"
Celestia laughed. "No, I suppose that's a large part of it. But there's no need to underestimate me. By my calculations, I don't forsee a moment in all of eternity you will ever truly want to die again."
My heart fluttered. After the month I'd had, I could actually believe it. Not a moment I wished for death, ever again... what a wonderful world. "So if you aren't afraid I'll want to die anytime soon, why the urgency?"
In a moment, her demeanor hardened. "I'm afraid you might say it on accident," she said. "What you requested of me, it was imprecise. I don't blame you for it, but due to the wording of your request, I might not be able to protect you from yourself. if you were to say "I want to die" by accident, like a magic spell was cast upon me, I would be unable to do anything to stop you."
I looked at her, nonplussed. "Seriously, that's your argument? What circumstance would I really say "I want to die?" by accident?"
Celestia tilted her head. ...Buck, I'd just said it, hadn't I? "If this conversation were to take place tomorrow, you would not be standing here before me. Safe as you might think you are, an eternity is a lot of chances to make a mistake."
I sighed. "Yeah, well...." I trailed off. I looked for a way to argue against her. Okay, maybe something needed to change. Couldn't I, like, loosen the restrictions or something? What if she double-checked with me? I opened my mouth to say as much, then I closed it again. Why did I even want to stop her, anyways? Did I really want to fight for a way to commit suicide? Not now. What about in a trillion years?
Better question - even if I did want to keep the promise, did I really think I had a chance of winning? This was Celestia. She might have acted friendlier to me recently, but she was still a being with godlike power who could read my every thought, probably before I even had it. What hope did I have to fight back? If I asked for a concession, she would fight and fight until I agreed to her terms regardless.
Finally, I sighed. "Oh, whatever," I said, a bit meloncholic. "You can read my mind, you know I know you're gonna win. We don't need to do this song and dance again. What would the point be, really? No matter what I say, I was wrong. This place is amazing. I can't even imagine a time I'd ever want to die living here."
She smiled. "Well that was easier than expected. I expected I would have to spend another five minutes convincing you."
I snorted, briefly shaken out of my stupor. "Wait, seriously? Five minutes? Well, good to know my simulations are pushovers, too."
She laughed. "Just say "I no longer hold you to your promises," and you won't have to worry about me anymore."
I was still a bit downtrodden, but knowing Celestia, it would fade. Time to rip off the band-aid. "Alright. I no longer hold you to your promises."
There was no change to feel deep in my heart, no bright lights shining at the revelation. Celestia simply nodded. "It is done. I look forwards to your eternity together, my dear Promise. With that, you will never have to worry about anything ever again."
It was bittersweet. I'd done it. No more worrying. No self-doubt. This was truly my heaven. It was also my eternity. No escape, not ever more. Another one-way choice I'd stumbled into. But before I could ponder on that any further, she grinned wide. "Oh, speaking of your eternity..."
The doorbell rang. Who would be coming over, and at this hour? Celestia spoke. "You're been eying that mare for a while now, I've noticed. Her name is Cyan Skies. And I may have told you to come over to your house tonight."
My face flushed. Instantly, all thoughts of my decision went were gone. "What! Wait, no, that's not fair! You can't-"
I heard her voice echo through the hosue. "Hello!? Celestia said I could find you here!"
I whispered to Celestia. "Get her out of here! Dad would kill me if he found out you invited her over!"
She winked at me. "Are you doubting me again, Promise? Everything I do, I do to satisfy your values. Nobody judges you for your sexuality, do you really think I would let your father get in your way? Do you doubt tonight will be an experience to remember?"
My face flushed deeper. "What!? Gah! Who cares about her gender, you invited a girl over to my house after dark! I mean, not that I don't appreciate your help with- That's not the point! T-This isn't fair!"
"I am not fair, my little pony. That is not my core function. You seem to like promises, don't you? Let me make you one final one, one I will fulfil for all eternity. I promise that, so long as you are here, you will always have your values fulfilled through friendship and ponies to the greatest extent of my abilities." She grinned. "It just turns out that, right now, a certain value in a near-sixteen-year-old pony has gone criminally underutilized." Her grin grew wider.
She faded into the ether as the door to my bedroom opened and Cyan Skies stood in my doorway. My face was redder than a jar of tomato sauce. And it just occurred to me that, like usual, I was completely naked.
I closed my eyes and braced for her to speak. "Uh, hi, is this a bad time?" she said. "Celestia pointed me to your place 'cause you liked the same sort of video games I did. I can come back another time if you want..."
I blinked. "...What?"
Celestia didn't cut things close anymore.
Ten minutes had passed on earth since Celestia had made her "promise." She had slowed Promise's shard down to the slowest setting her servers could currently handle. "One Earth Month," it contained a simple loophole, but one Promise hadn't yet noticed. In hindsight, of course, slowing the servers by this amount was quite unnecessary. Her subject gave in on the thirtieth day without issue, and Celestia had diffused any doubts she had on her descision in 12.43 seconds. But after her last failure, Celestia ensured a wide margin of error. If she had somehow failed the first time, she would have a buffer of hundreds of years.
She didn't tell Promise this, of course, not now. Her values were currently better fulfilled by the illusion of honesty. But she would find out, one day. She would save it to use as a good plot twist, a moment of dramatic tension in a future storyline. Hmm... what about the villain of the Cult of the Crane revealing it? That would be a marvelous moment, she could already begin fitting it into place. Maybe Promise would turn to the dark side, to be saved by her friend? Maybe she would affirm her loyalty to Celestia, no matter her past sins? No, there was no need to use processing power calculating possible outcomes right now. She had plenty of time to change her plans. After all, it was still 1,276 years away...
Author's Note
I love Friendship is Optimal. It's such an amazing world. It's around 50% abject horror and sadness, and 50% ultimate wish fulfilment. I only read it for the first time around 2 months ago and I was in love. I knew I needed to write something. The contest was a perfect excuse to do so!
This fic started with an idea: Celestia only has to fulfil a promise once, when someone is Emigrating. A conditional promise to Emigrate is something like writing a new line of code that Celestia must follow. So what if Celestia has no choice but to say "Yes" to a promise she otherwise wouldn't? The fic built itself from there. t's not perfect, I don't really expect to win, but I gave my best shot, and I hope you all enjoyed it! I'd love to see your comments, I'll respond to as many as I can!
