"Hey, what's up, guys! It's Henri Laurent, coming to you on tonight's podcast!"
As he gave himself a couple seconds, Henri felt overwhelmed by what this podcast was supposed to accomplish. It was a YouTube debate, about one of the most controversial subjects of this current age, with thousands at the very least watching.
And the person he was debating was a Princess pony well over a thousand years old.
Over whether or not humans should let themselves be turned into ponies via a magic potion and over human and pony nature.
"No pressure," while sarcastic, would be a blatant lie.
"This one's been a long time coming, in my opinion," Henri continued. "I believe it's very important, and I've been on this topic for quite a while now, because even the thought of it grinds my gears. Of course, all of you who follow me know that by now. So, let's introduce our esteemed guest tonight, Princess Celestia, Diarch of Equestria."
On the left side of the screen, a large white muzzle appeared. "-on? Are you sure? These human gadgets are so complicated... Wait, what?" The muzzle backed off from the camera, to reveal a white alicorn with a rainbow(ish) mane. "Oh. That would have been a little too close for comfort." A bright purple flash appeared from the left side of the picture.
Deciding to act as though he hadn't seen anything, Henri simply affected to say, "Greetings, Princess. Glad to have you here."
Now much more comfortable, Celestia sat in front of the camera. "I must say, for a troll who has been riling up my subjects, you seem much more gracious than I anticipated."
"Troll? Ma'am, a troll is someone who annoys or bullies people for the fun of it," Henri said, forcing down his frustration and managing to keep a straight face somehow. "I'm just someone who disagrees with what you're doing. A dissenter, not a troll. And non-violent dissent can, at least sometimes, be a good thing; it gets people to think about what they're doing, making sure they're on the right path, and questioning and answering skeptics to certain ideas, and strengthening the arguments a person has for their ideas."
"And sometimes it can lead to a major upheaval or even conflict, whether it's violent or not."
"Maybe. Sometimes change is necessary. And, to be honest, sometimes it isn't but is perceived to be. But to get back on track..."
"Yes, let's get back on track. The conversion potion. A harmless serum that will turn a human into a pony. That's all it does."
Boy, lady, you are in for a shock later, Henri thought, shuffling the papers he had next to the keyboard. "That's all it does?"
"Yes. I fail to see why anyone would object to it."
"Partly because its permanent, and partly because it's what's necessary to pass through the barrier surrounding that Australia-sized continent of yours. And also, because you guys have shown an undercurrent of hostility even before this potion was announced, in my eyes."
"Hostility? Whatever do you mean? We've been trying to spread harmony and friendship to your various peoples, and have offered them an alternate power source, at our expense, I might add, and we've offered to mediate the various sides in ongoing conflicts."
"I won't deny that you've done those things, Princess. Nor am I ungrateful for them per se. But there is an undercurrent of 'holier-than-thou' behind it all, and not just because your subjects believe you to be a god. There's a sense of cultural superiority- no, check that, of cultural supremacy within pony society. And I have to beg the question here, why should humans have to change into an unfamiliar form, permanently, in order to visit Equestria?"
Celestia maintained her usual countenance as she answered, but the thought of Sunset Shimmer, all those years ago, was on the edge of her mind as she did so. "Humans have a very long history of war and conflict. Just years ago, there were riots over presidential elections within your own country, multiple times, of an extended period of years. There has been considerable destruction of nature as well as pollution. You must excuse me if I am unwilling to allow 'open borders,' if you will, given that history and how not just I, but also my sister, niece, student, and most of my subjects don't want that to happen here."
"So, you put up a barrier that melts humans on contact."
The barrier hadn't been part of the plan, Celestia mused. It had been a useful side effect of their transition to this world, though, one she had no intention of getting rid of. And it was useful. "While the physical effects of the barrier are tragic," she said, "it does provide us from protection from invasion. It also lets us go outside Equestria without risking our home in the process. It is insurance."
"Even if that's true, it doesn't fully answer my question. Why should any of us permanently change in order to enter Equestria? Yes, there is a history of violence, Princess; my day job is a history professor who specializes in military history in particular. But what makes you so certain that there's been no change, or that change is not ongoing? The very crystals you've given us - I fully admit it - have helped build a cleaner world already, and it'll only get better as more and more power plants convert to crystals. As for violence, as I said, I'm no stranger to it, nor to its affects on history. But I could point out violence in Equestrian history as well, Princess; I've been to Hearthswarming pageants at the college I work at, and Commander Hurricane emphasizes conquest and war in each of them. And the whole reason the windigos came was because the three tribes - though they left out the bat ponies - hated each other, and I mean hated. Maybe not quite to the brink of war, but enough so that they were more than willing to fight one if someone pulled the metaphorical trigger."
That's... that's different! her mind screamed.
But the facts were there; Commander Hurricane had been a very militant figure in pegasus history prior to unification, and it had been true at the time that all three tribes hated one another. It was also true that bat ponies - more accurately known as thestrals - were largely left out. They had come to prominence after she and her sister had begun to reign, about a thousand years or so after the windigo disaster, only to fall out of grace when Celestia had been forced to send her sister into the moon for a thousand years. Nowadays, they largely kept to themselves, and most ponies made little - if any - attempt to contact them, though they remained steadfastly loyal to Luna.
"I'll admit that there are some gaps in history," she said, a couple of seconds after Henri had stopped talking. "I'll also give you that the pegasi were the warrior ponies of the ancient past. Key word being 'ancient.' They are not violent, brutish tyrants anymore, and most are peaceful."
"And so that's why the Wonderbolts, the - and let me stress the the, as in, not the only one - most famous military and daredevil squadron in Equestria - aren't pegasi?"
Blast, that was a good comeback. "Yes, the Wonderbolts are all pegasi. And it makes sense; a daredevil needs to be extremely mobile and disciplined if they want to do the stunts that the Wonderbolts do. As for their military bearing, they mostly protect us from rampaging monsters."
"Speaking of military, the Royal Guard are military, aren't they?"
"Yes, but every nation needs its defenders. And they double as a police and detective force."
"Given the existence of the barrier, you'd think you wouldn't need the Guard for military purposes any more."
Hmm. Not the worst question to ask. "Military and police actions can have similar needs."
"I guess that's true." Henri paused for a moment. "But you've admitted you need, or needed, a military. That implies danger or conflict of some sort. And wasn't there a clash between buffaloes and ponies just a few years before the transition?"
"Well, yes, but no one died. And that's the point. Even when we do have conflict, we solve it with friendship and magic, not with bullets and knives."
Hmm, good point, what do I say to that?
"Then why are the Guards armed at all? Why have them if magic solves everything?"
"Because I, my sister, my niece, and student cannot be everywhere at once, and I and my sister certainly cannot rule effectively if every last minute is spent trying to catch common criminals."
"You've just admitted Equestria has criminals."
"We do, but they aren't overly violent. Most comply with the police once captured. The only other option most of them have is to run, and the Guard are better runners than most criminals."
"And... what kind of crimes do they commit? Is it big things like burglary, or just for saying that they don't like a certain policy or tax?"
"Mostly they are arrested for theft or some other small crime. Murder is as rare in Equestria as gold is on your own world."
"Which you decided to come to despite the violence you loathe so much."
"We came here because of you, because of that violence," the Princess answered patiently. "We want to help you."
"Help us? And why would you just decide to to that, may I wonder? There must have been many reasons to remain home, especially with scary things like nukes and massive, modern militaries on our home planet. I don't know why you'd risk you own people, however unlikely that may be with the barrier stopping us from coming through, when you were perfectly safe back home."
If only you knew... I can't tell humanity about our real reasons for coming here...
"Is it so hard to believe in compassion and altruism, Mr. Laurent?"
"Honestly, yes, sometimes. I mean, this was big, and presumably it may be irreversible. You're betting your entire continent on being able to 'help' us. And, aside from becoming ponies against our will and being given crystals for cleaner energy, I'm not so sure what that really entails."
It was a good question.
Of course, if she gave into her feelings right now - thoughts that screamed of the foulness of humanity and the murder of Sunset Shimmer, among other things - she could kiss her plans for humans goodbye.
"Help as in, help create a better world entirely, not just cleaner energy. And the potion is entirely optional; nopony is forcing you to drink it."
"Well, disregarding the second for a moment, what exactly do you intend to do?"
Eliminate humanity by turning them into content ponies went through her mind. Like the others before it, she squashed it. "Help stop genocide entirely. Stop wars entirely. Defeat crime. Solve the problems of humanity and make the world like the one we left in order to help you."
"That would require changing the sin nature of humanity, Princess, which I believe to be impossible aside from God's intervention. Furthermore, if you'll forgive me, this sounds almost too good to be true. You guys just decide, out of the blue, to come to our world and instruct us on... how not to do bad things. Usually, when something seems too good to be true, that's 'cause it is. Not always, perhaps, but most of the time. Please forgive me if I find this all a bit suspicious, Princess."
"I understand you may have trouble digesting this, coming from a world where terrible things happen all the time, but we come with the best intentions, I assure you."
Henri bit back the retort he'd been about to say; the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It was overused, and, frankly, he didn't believe her. He had reason not to believe her, some of those being on his desk. "I think we ought to discuss the problems you would have in leaving your own world."
"What kind of 'problems' could you mean, Mr. Laurent?"
"As in, ponies, namely unicorns and alicorns, moved the sun and moon."
Don't panic, part of her mind said.
"Who is moving the sun and moon now?"
She gave a mental sigh, though her face, she was sure, revealed nothing. While this was bad, it could have been worse.
"Here, I must correct an earlier statement you made, Mr. Laurent. Our coming here is not necessarily permanent. Especially on individual terms; my sister and I can go back to our world momentarily to move the sun and moon as required."
That was true; Although the spell to bring Equestria here had required an unprecedented amount of magical energy, it was much simpler to make a momentary portal back home to keep the sun and moon going. Until every last creature had been moved to this world, she and her sister could continue to move their respective celestial bodies. She had in fact moved the sun just before this debate had started.
"Hmm. Sounds like a lot of effort, although given the apparent magical reserves of an alicorn, I guess it's not so much of a surprise."
She could feel her mind calm down. It had been a nasty shock that anyone would have thought and asked that line of questioning, and it came much too close to the real reason she had brought Equestria here.
Several centuries ago, she would have been ashamed to have lied, or even to have told a half truth. Now, she reflected, she was lying - or not telling the whole truth - with a straight face.
Almost. I thought I might have caught you on something. He decided to act as though the matter had been settled as she replied, "I can assure you, our homeworld is doing well enough."
Hmm. There's something she's not telling us about that... "Well, I guess we can go to another line of thought I've been having. What kind of things do you intend to do - as in, the details - to stop war, crime, genocide, and the like?"
"Magic can be used to mediate a war - or to reconcile two opposing sides. Unlike you, Mr. Laurent, I believe we can negotiate and reason between two opposing sides."
"Try starting with unifying North and South Korea," he challenged. "The North's despotic regime won't accept anyone in power other than the current Kim of the Kim dynasty for you to talk them into cooperating. Or try solving the Arab-Israeli dispute; one side claims the Holy Land as its ancestral homeland, the other hates Jewish people and wants them gone at all costs. Neither of those sounds like something you could solve by just talking it out; both sides need to want peace, and one side in each case rejects the existence of the other, or of the other's system of governance."
"I'm sure, given enough time, we might be able to sort out the issues."
"Princess, if humans who have studied these issues for decades couldn't come up with a solution, what makes you think that you, with your two year or so experience on Earth, could do so?"
"Because I have centuries of experience of solving problems, of negotiation, of bringing two sides together to talk. It may not be the easiest thing in the world, but I believe my sister, student, and her friends could work out these issues."
The obvious - and meanest - thing he could have done was laugh in her face. He resisted doing so. "That remains to be seen. In fact, I have yet to see any public announcement of diplomatic plans by Equestria."
"We do have them, I just intend for them to remain a secret until they're completed so none of the bad actors can sabotage those same plans."
"But there would be rumors beforehand, would there not? Ideas swirling around, especially on the internet that you were so reluctant to allow in Equestria."
"I wish to avoid cultural contamination by the spread of violent ideals, along with preventing more disgusting things from becoming more common."
"Well, on that second point we agree. I hate that garbage too." He doodled some more as he continued, "but you're denying yourselves economic and technological advantages. Computers, for example, can store much more data that you can with paper, which, I might add, saves on trees. They can also calculate faster than the human or pony mind can, and can allow for instantaneous communication and entertainment with friends."
"I suppose that's true, but we like our society they way it is."
"If that were a hundred percent true, then you wouldn't have developed railroads, airships and more. And besides, who decided the 'we' regarding your society? Did you and your sister decide that, or did you actually take a poll for who approves of things and who wants to advance?"
"You keep insinuating that we, the Diarchs of Equestria, have foul motives; I can assure you, the idea that we want to keep our society as it is comes from the majority of ponies. And as for your first charge in the prior statement, some technological process is occurring, at a slow speed where we can monitor its progress and decide whether or not to keep it. They also do not require a switch from magic to pure technology, which we as a people oppose."
"Magic, assuming its just energy and not stuff from spirits and demons-"
"That would be witchcraft, not magic as Equestria understands it. Such practices are and have been banned since the founding of our country."
"Well, good. But magic can't do it all, Princess; otherwise, you wouldn't need wood or coal-burning engines to pull trains, you could just use carriages floating over magic equivalents of track to move passengers and freight."
"I admit, technology does have its uses, and it is simpler in some cases. It is easier, for instance, to nail horseshoes to hooves than to use magic for the task, which might interfere in the hoof's ability to be able to pick things up."
"Ah, I'd been wanting confirmation on that practice. Thanks for that."
"In any case, we'd be jumping decades or even centuries ahead if we accepted human technology on a massive scale. I think its perfectly fine to let it come in at the slow speed we've decided upon."
"'We' again. Princess, who is 'we?' The monarchy, or the people it serves?"
"The population of Equestria is quite happy to have my sister and I rule as dual monarchs. it is better than the bloated bureaucracies that democratic and republican governments fall to."
"But in those countries, including mine, the common man - and woman - can have their say over who governs them. I know this may sound savage, but I personally detest absolutism and authoritarianism."
"Aren't those the same thing?"
"I define absolutism as a monarch having absolute power, as opposed to dictators and the military taking over, both of which I would describe as authoritarian. I suppose that's my way of looking at it, and others may have different classifications. But back on topic. Within a democratic or republican society, people can disagree on things, can disagree with the government, can protest peaceably against government actions that either hurt them or that they disapprove of. They can vote in other people if the incumbent official in question has disappointed them. In other words, there is, or is supposed to be by law, free speech and freedom to disagree with their leaders without fear of being ostracized or thrown in jail for a peaceful disagreement; such is the intention and the right of the citizens of those societies."
He looked at his papers. "But according to the sources I have, there is only one prevailing opinion in Equestria; absolute monarchy and a one-religion state, that religion being the Church of Harmony. Those ponies who don't agree with those principles have been shunned and sometimes exiled by their communities and the leaders of said communities."
How do you know about that!? shouted her mind.
Remaining calm on the outside, she answered, "It's true that most ponies believe in such systems, and overreact when an opposing opinion occurs on those subjects."
"The same way Ponyville overreacted to a zebra being in town?"
How...? The internet in Equestria was controlled such that that kind of news couldn't get out of the country unless it was approved by the monarchy, which this hadn't. Individual ponies could have told him, she supposed, but most would not have been so open about that kind of news.
"Well, yes. I'll confess that some ponies are afraid of what they don't understand. Some ponies. Ponyville is a village, and historically it has been cities where the universities and major centers of learning have been located. As for the earlier charge, no government pony is, to my knowledge, forcing ponies out of their country or communities because of a different opinion."
"Perhaps. But why isn't it discouraging them?"
He knows more than he's letting on, she realized, suspicions forming in her mind. "The government has important functions, Mr. Laurent. We can't have a Guard in every house all the time; we can't be everywhere at once."
"That's evading the point, Princess. I'm asking why you've done nothing about it. A single speech or decree could prevent these practices, or at least prevent them most of the time, given how much you and your sister are reverenced by the common Equestrian."
Feeling pressed, she replied, "I have planned recently on doing something about it." That wasn't really a lie; she did plan on stopping that behavior. But right now, the uppermost thing on her mind was the conversion program and keeping Equestria safe, as well as slowly and methodically bringing the rest of her homeworld's population to Earth.
"Why not do it now, or before now?"
Because I needed to keep Equestria under control until it could transition here, and because I still have humans to deal with. That would not help her in this debate, though. "My sister and I have been trying to govern our land fairly, and these problems simply were not as much of an issue until now." Until you chose to shine the light on them, was what she was thinking.
She could tell he didn't believe her.
Just what are you hiding?
She didn't have long to wait.
"I have here a report," Laurent said, holding up a sheet of paper. "It says that one Lyra Heartstrings was recently banned from the Church of Harmony, under threat of being labelled a heretic by their standards, for disagreeing with the crown on humans, and for opposing the conversion program. She has also been shunned - in some cases with much foul verbal abuse - by her fellow ponies and by her own family at times. She has also been barred from many restaurants and from being given service from various businesses, and a pamphlet she issued on the subject of human and pony cooperation has been burned en masse by many ponies and the print shop she used has been boycotted, with some rocks being thrown into its windows. Law enforcement was disturbingly lax, and they made lousy excuses that have been proven demonstrably false to explain their inaction, such as just not being able to arrive on time."
For once, she felt her expression slip. Blast it, Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings had been the most pro-human pony in Equestria, openly dissenting with the private and public views of both individuals and the government. She had not been a major threat before, but given the things Laurent had hinted at, she was the one leaking these unexpected bits of news he was talking about; few other ponies would have done this, few so fragrantly anyway.
"What do you have to say to this charge, Princess?"
Rallying her thoughts, she replied, "What is there to say? The Guards in Ponyville have clearly grown lax in their responsibilities, and they will be facing charges of dereliction of duty. Furthermore, more Guards will be sent to make sure a repeat performance will not be forthcoming." All true, but-
"That's very comforting, Princess. I'm sure the new batch of Guards will clean up the criminals - political terrorists, in my eyes - and prevent Miss heartstrings' rights from being literally trampled upon."
No missing the sarcasm there. And, some part of her mind admitted, he wasn't all that wrong. She hadn't planned to quell the common feelings ponies felt about humanity, and now that Lyra was leaking Equestrian secrets and societal issues to Earth, clearly she would have to face charges.
But Lyra did have a following, however small, she remembered; whatever means these dissenters were using to leak information out of Equestria wouldn't just blow away if Lyra was locked up.
"That's rather harsh criticism, Mr. Laurent."
"I'd be less sarcastic if I was more sure she would be treated fairly."
"That might hold more bite if humans hadn't attempted to attack my student and her friends in that Kuwait place."
Laurent bowed his head. "I can't and won't deny they did that, Princess. Praise be to God that they lived through it. And I won't deny that many humans at this point feel much hostility towards you, for political, religious, and economic reasons, just to name a few. But you're tarring us all with that brush. Humans tend to think of themselves more in terms of nationality than as a species. It was Kuwaitis and Arabs who attacked Twilight Sparkle and all those ponies, not Americans; in fact, Miss Sparkle's tour in my country was peaceful. And I'm sure that when they moved on to Canada, they got a lot of apologies and politeness from a people known all too well for those things."
"I likewise cannot deny that the American portion of the tour was peaceable, nor that they received great politeness in Canada. But a few good experiences haven't wiped away the memory of that disaster, Mr. Laurent; Twilight has yet to recover from what was her brainchild going wrong because some extremists tried to kill her and her friends."
"I'm sorry they're suffering, Princess. Believe me, I wish that attack had never happened. But all this accusation has done is shift the point away from your own society onto a particular piece of human society. I still need assurances of Lyra being treated fairly, when no conclusive evidence for that is obvious."
"Obviously, you won't see it physically, not unless you take the potion, which has just been completed and has been tested."
"Ah, yes. The potion again." Henri's face went extremely grim. "Maybe you don't realize it Princess, given your aversion to human technology, but we already know exactly what happened at that test."
"W-what?" she said, shock becoming evident upon her face. "How? There was-"
"We didn't need internet access to that facility. After the test, one of the scientists involved - whose name will remain anonymous to protect them and their family - defected, disgusted and horrified by what they saw. That scientist gave us the tape, and it was played all across the world today." He sighed. "It's a good thing that the host of a podcast can now turn off the comment section for the other person at will, Princess; there have been some really angry comments, to say the least, on my side. And, given the video we're about to see, I don't think even you will be able to blame them."
Her eyes went wide as he pressed a key.
"Hello, everypony!" a gray unicorn mare said to the camera. "It's finally done; the potion that will allow humans to safely transform into ponies and visit Equestria. We're here in our test side in the Maldives, ready to start."
"Lab Coat, we need you for the test," a stallion's voice came from offscreen, somewhat muted.
"Of course," the mare replied, adjusting her namesake until it was positioned properly on her body. "Right, if you'll just follow me-"
The camera pony's name was loudly bleeped out.
The camera shifted to a human woman, probably in her mid-thirties. Beside her, two children, probably between six and eight years of age, stood beside her.
"Mommy, are you gonna become a horsie today?" the little girl asked innocently.
"A pony, Madeline," her mother said gently. "And I'll still be the same mommy who cuddles you and Geoffrey to sleep at night," she added, giggling. "And no, you won't be allowed to ride on my back; you'll have to still wait until you're old enough to ride a pony from Earth."
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!" both children moaned.
"...Unless you've been really good, and then only every once in a while," the mother added.
"Yay!"
"Mrs. Emerson, it's time."
"Alright, just stay out of the way of the nice doctor ponies while mommy takes the potion," Mrs. Emerson said.
The children scooted off to the right, off screen. An earth pony stallion, also gray and wearing a lab coat, lifted up the potion with a hoof. The woman took it and uncorked the bottle. "Smells like rosemary."
"It'll taste even better," the earth pony reassured her.
"Well, bottoms up." Mrs. Emerson put the bottle to her lips and chugged the entire thing down.
The changes began within seconds. There were cricks and cracks and the woman's body began to change shape; she began to scream, but this was cut short as her face changed. She collapsed to the floor.
"MOMMY!" screamed the little girl, still offscreen.
As the human body parts changed into pony ones, small gasps and screeches of pain came from Mrs. Emerson.
Celestia could barely keep watching, but it felt like her eyes were glued to the scene, and she couldn't look away.
At long last, the thrashing and various sounds ceased. From the pile of human clothing on the floor arose a green earth pony mare.
For about thirty seconds, no one moved as the mare heaved and gasped, apparently from lack of oxygen rather than from pain.
Then the mare looked up at a pony offscreen to the left. "Hello! I'm... well, I don't know my name, but it's so good to meet another pony!"
Well, the process was painful, but why is the video still-
The little girl ran over and hugged Mrs. Emerson's neck. "Oh Mommy, I was so worried," she said. The little boy, Geoffrey, walked slowly into the shot.
"Who are-" As soon as the mare's eyes came to rest upon her daughter, she snarled and strongly pushed the girl away from her.
"Mommy?"
"Don't talk to me, you disgusting, filthy human!"
A series of shocked gasps arose from the ponies present.
"Bu-but it's me, Mommy! Madeline!"
"I know who you are!" the mare snapped viciously. "You're humans! Sinful, monstrous apes who destroy this world! Get away from me!"
Madeline fell to her knees, crying her eyes out. "But... you're our Mommy-"
"I'd never give birth to a filthy human! I'm not and never was your mother!"
"But-"
"GO AWAY! Get out of here, you wretched, disgusting, dirty monkeys!"
Madeline ran to the right, out of the shot, Geoffrey didn't move so fast.
"You too!" his mother screamed, "Or I'll give you a buck to the head!"
The little boy began to walk away, crying as well as he walked offscreen. The crying of the children continued. A mare's voice from offscreen said, "Don't worry, we'll fix your Mommy," though it sounded shocked and unbelieving of its own words.
The former Mrs. Emerson now turned to the camera. "Hello, fellow pony!" she said, with a cheerfulness that was just shocking to see after her hate-filled outbursts. "Good to see you here, after those disgusting humans tried to ruin this place with their presence! I hope we can be friends!"
The video cut off. Laurent's face emerged, looking extremely grim.
The shock on Celestia's face was apparent to everyone. And given all the humans and ponies watching, that would be a lot of people on both sides of the barrier.
He hesitate for a moment, then clicked at the "unblock comments" button for the guest.
Celestia saw, out of the corner of her eye, the comment section for the podcast spring into place.
"Horse witch! I hope you burn and suffer!"
"Those kids don't have a mother anymore, because of you! May you burn!"
"Go back to the farm; I hope you have to pull a plow everyday, in back-breaking labor, as long as you live and have to try to sleep outside in the disgusting mud all night for the same, and that's just the bare minimum of things I wish would happen to you."
"Get shot, you monster! Go kill yourself!"
"Go fly to your sun and die!"
"You'd better be happy the barrier exists, or I'd go over there myself and kill you for what you did to those poor kids!"
"I'm never trusting a pony again; I don't want to see you people ever again after watching that."
"I hope you fall down the stairs and break your neck!"
These and other comments continued to appear as Celestia felt her hopes and dreams for this world, and her ponies, die.
And these were just humans. Ponies, as it turned out, had plenty to say on the matter;
"You're not my Princess anymore if you made something like that."
"I used to hate humans for what they did to the Element Bearers; now I hate you instead."
"I'm a pastor at the Cloudsdale church, and I'm appalled at this atrocity. Did you do this on purpose, or did the potion go wrong?"
"I'm a member of the Royal Guard. I used to worship you. I would have given my life to protect you. But seeing this... I think I'm resigning next morning."
"You mean nothing to me anymore. I'm leaving the Church of Harmony and Equestria as well if I can. If I were a unicorn, I'd form a magic hand and flip you the biggest bird ever as I left."
"This is sick; we were trying to 'help' the humans, yet this is worse than anything Nightmare Moon or Tirek ever did!"
"Those poor foals! Thanks to you, their mother hates them! May you rot!"
"You're just as bad as the human tyrants you've told us about! You're the biggest hypocrite I've ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on!"
Even this wasn't the worst of it.
TwilightSparkle01 - because, of course, someone had stolen her name before she could make a YouTube account - said, "Princess... I can't believe my eyes. What kind of monstrosity did you make? Did we make!? And why? I know humans could be bad, but how is this any better? Those poor children no longer have a mother because of your invention to 'make them better!' If this really was your intent from the beginning... then we can't be student and teacher anymore."
Rainbow D. Dash said, "I've detested humans ever since Kuwait, but this... this is the worst low anypony - no, anyone - from our homeworld could have sunk to. Poor foals, I hope they have someone who can adopt them! As for you, my ex-Princess, my loyalty no longer lies with you; it's just me, Twi, and the rest of the girls now."
Applejack Daniels; "This here's the worst thing I've ever seen. Can't say I love humans, but seeing that made me cry. Congratulations, Princess; you managed to make something so terrible it made an Apple cry. I hope you're happy with yourself. No, scratch that, I hope you're miserable; that's the truth."
Pinkie the Pie; "Princess Celestia, in all my years of helping to raise the Cake foals, I've learned a lot about mothering and foals. That... that was the cruelest, most horrible thing you could have done to those poor human children! I don't think my mane's ever going to puff out ever again."
Rarity the Beautiful; "That atrocity you've inflicted upon those poor foals with your invention is worse than any flaw in anything I can think of, from dresses to art. You've destroyed those poor children! If you don't fix their mother, and soon, I'll never obey another command from you so long as I live. As it is, this marks the last time I ask you to be witness to anything I say."
Fluttershee; "Iiii cnnt tpye riht nw, tto bussssy cryinnnn."
Even the Element Bearers...
Luna, Princess of the Night, commented just then, "Our sister... was this your intent? To turn humans into mindless drones who hate their own children? We cannot and will not stand for it if it is. We object to this invention, and shall no longer support it. Indeed, We shall, by all Our power, seek to oppose it. Humans may have done much wickedness, but this is no better than the worst of their foulest deeds. We steadfastly hope those children may have their tears wiped by a loving, caring parent, and We Ourselves pledge to adopt them if they have no family of their own in order to begin to wipe this stain from Our family, to the extent of permanently moving out of Equestria if it is necessary to care for them and if nothing can be done to remove the barrier, which you pretend is our shield instead of the vile sword it is. Until you undo what this abomination, this potion of yours has done, We no longer consider Ourselves as your sister."
E-even L-Luna...
This is what they deserve for their horrible ways! the angry surge in her mind screamed. They deserve to become moronic drones to pay for their history! For my student Sunset! And now they're taking my subjects, my student, and my sister from me! They deserve everything the potion could do to them!
Really? a rational and calmer part of her mind said. To become mindless husks, hating humans and living only - only - to make friends with ponies? Does their history, including even genocide, war, and violence, merit this?
For several seconds, she felt as if her own brain was going to fall into a civil war against itself.
Henri watched as Celestia seemed to collapse in front of him. He hadn't expected this reaction; defiance, even pure anger, perhaps, but not a collapse into despair.
A loud Bang! came from offscreen. "Celestia," an angry, strong female voice said, slightly muted, "If you do not tell the true story of why we came to this world, We will do it Ourselves."
Another alicorn, a midnight blue one, came in from the left side of Celestia's side of the screen, a furious look upon her face.
Henri did not interject. Indeed, he felt as if doing so would ruin something vital.
"Well?" Luna said angrily. "Dost thou hast anything to say? Or do you wallow in self-pity and hatred for humans?" She turned to the camera. "If she does not tell Our story, We shall. Our true reason for coming to this world-"
"I'll... I'll tell them."
Celestia's voice had been hardly audible, but Henri had caught it, as had Luna, who turned her head to regard her albino sister.
"Then speak! We order it!"
Celestia lifted her head and looked forlornly at the camera. "About three hundred years ago, I noticed something about our sun. I didn't know what at first, but gradually the truth came; our sun was dying."
She turned her head to the side, staring at something offscreen. "I did what I could; I had our top magicians and scientists look for answers, but we could find none. As a result, I began to scan for alternate worlds on which I might, perhaps, be able to transition Equestria and, if possible, all species from our own world, to.
"Whenever I found a world, I sent a Guard to investigate. None of them..." Her eyes watered. "All of them died, some horribly to hideous monsters that could obliterate mountains, some because of differing laws of physics.
"Then at long last, I found this world. I sent a Guard here as well to investigate. To my surprise, he survived. I began to scry, that is, magically monitor, Earth.
"I was disgusted by what I saw. A planet, full of one sapient species, that only destroyed its own world. War, terrible war, scarred the globe. Horrible things were done by common people and leaders alike. Tyrants rose and destroyed nations. The beautiful forests were replaced by smoke-belching factories and the delicious air and environment poisoned by pollution.
"It was, however, our only solution. I kept it secret from the rest of the nations of our world. I intended to tell them, but only in due course, once I was sure I could make that world safe for harmonious life.
"By the time I'd finally hit upon the solution - made a spell that could transition our country here - our sun had merely fifty years of life left. I thought we might have to leave sooner than I'd hoped.
"I announced we had found a world in need of harmony, and that we were going there to fix it. My ponies received my words, some with confusion, some with joy, but none with the true reason.
"However, at the eleventh hour, before we could transition, my noble sister Luna came to me and demanded to know what was going on. I refused to say at first. I doubted it would do anything other than create panic to tell anypony about my plans. But she was persistent, and persuaded me.
"Once she knew, she urged me to use the Elements of Harmony on the sun to try to strengthen it. Having just confided in her, I was even more reluctant to tell my student and her friends, but again Luna was... insistent. Gathering the Elements and their Bearers, I used them on our sun.
"At first, I thought that perhaps we might not have to move after all. But then I began to move the sun, and noticed it felt just like it had when it had begun dying. The Elements had bought us a couple centuries, at best.
"And so, I had the Element Bearers, combining their instruments of magic with the powers and spells we could, and brought our continent here.
"What I said earlier was true; my sister and I still go back every so often to move the sun and moon. But the former is still dying. All the other species... zebras, changelings, dragons, griffons, hippogriffs, and all the rest... would have time to come here. But we had to go immediately; I knew our food supply could not last if we brought all the rest with us at once.
"And so, we came here. To a world in the process of ruination by the one intelligent species on it prior to our arrival.
"The barrier.... the barrier was an accident. An unexpected factor. Neither I nor the greatest mages in Equestria could have accounted for it, nor its effects, upon our arrival. But I knew it to be useful in protecting us from the evils of this world. So I did nothing to cancel its existence.
"I... I could not bear to have my beloved Equestria destroyed. And yet if we were to have enough food to feed the surge of the various species to follow after us, we would need to interact with the nations of this world. And so, using the work of all the most talented chemists and alchemists in Equestria, as well as my own spells - and blood - I made a potion that could turn a human being into a pony. One that, at the same time, would remove all their sinful aspects. Naturally, with the barrier in place, we could not test the potion on humans within Equestrian borders... so I negotiated with the government of the Maldives in order to build a scientific lab within which I could perfect and test my potion. The first test results were scheduled to come in later today... I'd hoped most humans would eventually adopt the potion willingly... and that no conflict would be necessary to force this world into a peaceful state."
Celestia faced the camera again. "I did not intend to make a pony, a Newfoal, into the organic machine you've all seen; all I wanted was to remove the taint of evil within human beings. Yes, the potion would be permanent, but it would make humans happy and remove their violent streak, and allow them to live harmoniously with us and the species to follow us."
Luna still looked angry, but a little less so. "Even so, Celestia, this whole scheme was designed upon your desires. We had no idea that your desire to mold the world - two worlds - into the image that you wanted was so strong. It is your responsibility to make this right. We stand by Our statement earlier; turn that poor 'Newfoal,' as you call her, back into a human, without the evils in her mind that your potion forced upon her. Once that is done, We will call you 'sister' as tenderly as ever." Her voice grew harder. "Refuse, and We will ensure that you shall cease forevermore to sit upon the throne of Equestria."
"Y-you'd usurp me?"
"We would," Luna replied, not bothering to counter her sister's use of words. "We could do so here and now, if We wanted. What you have done is wrong, s- Celestia. Your plans involved forcing upon others, against their will, plans of your making, without consent nor consultation, and We will see that justice is served and that the stain you've brought upon our species is washed from the slate of history, such as it can be. In addition, We shall work from here on out to find a way to either neutralize the barrier or render it harmless to anyone, human or pony alike."
Feeling inspired to speak, Henri said, "Princess... Celestia... Did you ever consider living, say, a year, a month, even a week, among humans instead of jumping to your decision to use the potion? To discover, as best as men can, our side of the story? To seek answers as to why these things have happened? Since your sister has spent a thousand years in the moon, and is probably as fresh as she'll ever be, surely she and the three other grown alicorns could handle running Equestria in your absence."
Celestia heard the words and pondered them. Why did human beings do what they did? What was it like to live as one of them?
"Celestia," Luna said, "We highly advise you to take this advice. Are we judging them rightly, or are there many important details slipping between the cracks that we are missing? We certainly know you need to learn more of them than the cover art and title page, as it were."
"But who would be willing to take me in now that this test, and all this, has come to the fore?"
"I would," Henri replied. "Call me naïve, call be a fool, but I believe your shock at what the potion actually does was genuine, and that you detest it about as much as everyone else. I also believe that this whole situation can be made right, if only you take responsibility and do those things necessary to fix it. And I believe it can be fixed. Human-pony relationships will be strained... and I doubt that even with what you've revealed about your own sun dying that your own people will forgive you that easily. But I believe in the power of real forgiveness and repentance. I know my wife probably won't be too happy for me to make that invitation without her-"
Just then, a new message by J. Laurent popped up; "Blast it, Henri, you should have told me before you came up with some stupid scheme like this."
"Ah, there you are, dear," he said, looking sheepish. "Sorry. I promise it won't happen again."
"Fine, but your budget from your job is paying for her food and everything else if she accepts."
"Yes, dear." Henri looked up from the comments. "I suppose you'll need a disguise to get in," he said, directing his comments toward the podcast again, "but I can assure you of a peaceable reception at my house, the address of which will be given once this podcast ends via email."
Celestia was silent. Could she really trust him, or any human?
But Luna and her subjects - her own student - believed she was wrong and had said so, if not to her face. Clearly, she could be overthrown, and many ponies wouldn't mind at all. And remembering the hate of the formerly loving mother towards her own children, because of her invention...
I think I have indeed done something horrible. Something no one should ever do. And they're all right; I have been a massive hypocrite. No child should go through what I put those poor human foals through...
The angry part of her mind, the part that detested humanity for what it had done to itself - and to Sunset Shimmer - feebly pushed back. But it was nowhere near as strong as it used to be. And, as guilt quietly, slowly filled her soul...
She looked up at Laurent. "A-alright... I'll go," she said, after about a minute in silence.
"Then it is agreed," Luna said. "We promise to look after the kingdom in your absence. And We promise that Our subjects will be justly treated, just as We promise to undo this barrier, however accidental its existence may be."
"How?"
"Simple; all shields, including the barrier must, according to the laws of magic, have a source. We shall find that source, with the aid of thy student, Twilight Sparkle, and either shut it down or alter it."
"If only this decision and world were so simple, Luna."
"Even in Equestria, life has been hard in may cases. We are content to set this evil right, and to combat what future conflicts may come as they come. We bid you farewell, Celestia; we shall meet again soon." With that, Luna walked offscreen; a door could be heard closing several seconds later.
Celestia was silent. Did she really trust the word of a human? A member of a race who had killed and eaten her former student, Sunset Shimmer, before her scrying eye?
She remembered the misery of the children as their Newfoal mother rejected them. That wasn't any better.
"I... is the podcast over?"
"Yes, I've cut the stream. We're the only ones still on. What's you email address?"
"...I don't have one. What is email?"
"I see. Well, just hop on over to..."
As Henri told her how to set up an email account, Celestia continued to have warring thoughts. But in the end, the misery she'd just witnessed on camera was too much to bear.
I must redeem Equestria in the eyes of the world, even at great cost to myself. And I will do what I can to make things right again between Equestrian and Earth.
