Dreams

Princess Luna formed The Lunar Guards shortly after Equestria itself, housing us in The Castle of the Two Sisters. She felt it necessary to have a force for the safety of the young kingdom and argued with her sister at great lengths on this point. We batponies were exceptionally suited for the job; Patrolling the night with little more than the stars and Luna’s Moonshine to guide us, we kept the troubled spirits and dangerous fauna at bay.

Few, if any, of the day-walkers ever knew what we accomplished for them while they slept. Both the Lunar Guards and Princess Luna.

And because of our positions and having proved our loyalty, She decided that we were the best suited to hold other secrets and knowledge. We kept track of various treasures, relics, and artifacts of great power, ensuring we could access them should the time be needed. After Nightmare Moon’s banishment, for instance, should Princess Celestia have ever turned on Equestria itself, we would have retrieved The Alicorn Amulet and allowed an Earth Pony of non-royal blood to use it to fight the princess.

That’s why the crystal caves under Canterlot were constructed in secret; as a prison for an alicorn, should it ever become necessary.

How that BUG found out about the caves is still a matter of conjecture for our security. But because of that and the rogue element that sold the Amulet to a shop, both are public knowledge, though nopony knows how they are linked.

But in those early days and moons, we were tasked with more clandestine security concerns. We were the emissaries for The Crown, delivering scrolls of the highest secrecy across the known world. The use of unicorn magic to teleport scrolls was perfected relatively quickly, but Princess Luna always wondered, “What If--?” and refused to rely on that system fully. Because of that She quietly created a very small office in the Royal Communications division.

The office I was eventually recruited into. The “Greeting Card Writing Pool”.

At least, that’s what my parents and my mare knew my job as. It disappointed them to think that’s what I had become after my cutiemark developed.

Being a Royal Secure Courier is not a job anypony speaks about anymore. The concept itself is an anachronism; a cute idea from a time long-gone, lost to history by more efficient teleportation or magically entangled books and quills. Even were the topic to come up we’d be able to talk at great length about the history of the office and how it was discontinued after the last perfected Directed Quill writing spell.

We learned how to make most of it very dull and boring to listen to.

But the crown knew our job was still vitally important for the security of the kingdom. Magic conveyance, however reliable, has a small but exploitable gap in the chain of custody for anything sent that way.

Our job is to take physical correspondences to-and-from secure locations across the world. We launch harder, fly higher, and soar longer than any pegasus would think possible. Even the best-trained most-fit weatherponies wouldn’t be able to keep up with us. It’s exhausting work: physically, emotionally, and mentally.

And having all this training behind me to hold my nerves together, It’s fair to say I was “On Edge” when Her Majesty’s summons for me finally happened a week later after returning to Canterlot from Yakyakistan.

“Night Court Is Adjourned. Thank You All For Coming. Guards, We Will Require Privacy. Icarus. Remain And Attend.”

As always, Princess Luna’s voice carried the air of her authority. She did not request, she commanded, owing back to her first co-rule of Equestria so many moons back.

Still standing at attention on the rug leading to the thrones, I flicked my ears once, visually acknowledging her order. My eyes directly ahead, looking at the second step up the dias.

The honour guard lieutenant at the doors TAP-TAP’d her spear butt on the floor, signaling the marching cadence for the team, and with matched hoof-falls they marched their exit formation. Ponies applying for guard duty don’t understand why music performance is a required subject in the training classes at first. But watching the guard’s public displays of precision marching bring that into perspective eventually. You can tell a lot by the L-T’s butt.

Even the L-T thinks that’s a funny joke.

The doors closed behind me and Princess Luna’s gaze dropped to me. This was the first time I’d been in her presence since my commissioning, and our only time alone, ever.

Physically.

“Your cards have sold well, Icarus. We are pleased with your abilities.” She paused a moment. “Ah! We will require privacy for this discussion. We have a new card program we wish to discuss. Corporate espionage and all….”

My eyebrow raised under my helmet, fur rubbing the inner layer. The only thing I could hear was her magic energizing before painting an arc of glowing midnight blue thaumic runes on the floor to my left. The glow swept clockwise, behind the thrones, and ended in a completed circle with us at the focus before a shimmering wall climbed up from the outer edge.

Princess Luna’s horn dimmed as she looked around and up, ensuring her spell, the one she developed generations ago, was in place. “The cone of silence is set. We may speak plainly now.”

I cocked my head and looked up. It was as she said, a cone from floor to ceiling. Returning my head to attention I again flicked my ears.

She was speaking. I was not to interrupt.

“Icarus, you know why we have called for you. We have…. matters.... to discuss.” Her pause and emphasis spoke volumes to me and she knew this. She had lived lifetimes and had knowledge that spanned areas that most of us could not even fathom. “You disturbed the Dream Realm in a way few ever have. We would have you explain how this came to be. These words will not leave our ears, so you will speak plainly with no evasion or embarrassment.”

My Princess, my Sovereign, She Whose Existence Was The Reason For My Cutie Mark, commanded. How could I not fulfil her order?

“Majesty, it was never my intention to disturb the Dream Realm. I only wanted a small bubble for myself for-” My voice hitched involuntarily. The full answer was asked for, but it was a terrible burden to give her.

--but she had commanded me to answer.

“-for my own personal enjoyment, away from the reality of others and myself. It was a shield I could keep between me and the rest of Equestria.”

Princess Luna nodded once and stayed silent. I could almost feel her eyes watching me, waiting for the remainder of the information she sought.

“I learned how to make a dream pocket accidentally a few years ago. I dreamt of a time with my mare while we were still dating. A festival where we… where she and I….”

My breath caught again. Fighting the emotions welling up in my throat was getting more painful as I thought back. I followed my training and found a way around the worst of it.

“-- where she and I fell in love. I enjoyed it. It comforted me after she died; being able to revisit our times together. I could almost forget she was gone and the pain she’d been in. It was… comforting.”

Luna’s horn bobbed as she nodded once and held up an armoured hoof a moment. “I am sorry for your loss. You may be at ease with me, now. Do continue.”

I nodded and relaxed my stance a bit, but still didn’t look up at her face. I plowed on through the tightening of my throat and blinked a few extra times. “It wasn’t something I intended to do, majesty. It just happened once in a while. And we did different things in the dreams. Things, on waking, that I knew we’d never done. Food we ate, rides we went on. Even…. Even when we….”

Luna interrupted with a direct and simple, “Mated.”

Not a question.

I could only nod and go on. “Yes. My dream version of her was as skilled as she was before her death. I knew she was barely experienced before we met, but she was….”

“She was your married mare. Healthy, vibrant, and alive for you.”

I couldn’t help myself this time and turned my head to look at Luna, barely able to focus through my tears. But I could still see that she was hardly cold and unfeeling. She had concerned interest in her eyes. She was understanding what I had to say.

I opened my mouth to continue but she re-raised her hoof to silence me. This time her voice was sadder. Remorseful. Respectful, even.

“We have outlived many who have been close to us. Some we would have even wed, were it not for our having to watch them die. All of them. We…. I …. Understand what you are describing. Please, continue.”

I was so wrapped up in trying to give her what information I could that I missed that “please” for a moment. “She was young. We were both so young. She didn’t deserve to die. But, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just…. So, yes. I had days of sleep with her. And I realized that I could guide our time together to change it. We could go back to every good time we had, experience different parts we hadn’t before. Eventually I learned that we could--”

“Yes”, Luna said, bringing my brain to a screeching halt.

“Majesty, what you saw--”

Princess Luna drew herself up on her throne, wings ruffling up as her voice regained her imperial tone. “What we saw was barbaric abuse of she who you say you loved. Had this happened in the Dream Realm or the Real World with somepony who was unwilling, you would have been--”

“--she wanted it”, I mumbled.

I blinked hard and dropped my face, mortified! I interrupted the Princess! How could I have--

“I beg your pardon?” Luna’s question shocked me so much more I snapped my head back up and looked at her directly. She was baffled, frozen in place with a question holding her still.

I had to go on before I lost my nerve, or was banished to Tartarus. “Majesty, we enjoyed times like that together. She was my mate, my half. She allowed me to be free to hurt her, to ravage her, to rut her senseless in the privacy of our home, however and whenever I wanted, and she enjoyed it! She wanted me to do that for her, with her. She asked for things I hadn’t known about sometimes, and we enjoyed our times together! She told me once, in no uncertain terms, that she wanted to be a drooling, sloppy--”

“WAIT.” Luna’s eyes had gotten bigger and bigger as I’d spoken, all while hardly blinking. And her ears and head kept flicking slightly side-to-side, like she was trying to understand all of what I’d said. “She desired this? She agreed to being abused like this?!”

I swallowed hard. This time not of fear or sadness, but because I knew I was about to divulge something about her that nopony had ever, would ever know. I answered the only way I could.

“Enthusiastically so… Yes Majesty.”

The Princess’ hoof dropped slowly as her eyes looked off to the side slightly, deep in thought.

“And that was why I kept those activities in my own pocket dreamscape; I didn’t want to accidentally pull somepony into my desires. And in the real world meeting a new special somepony with the baggage I have is challenging, some would say.”

Luna’s eyes zeroed back on me, listening but warry.

“Majesty, I am sorry you saw what you did. Not because I’m ashamed of it, but because you saw without knowing what we were doing or what I was doing. I can only hope you will accept--”

“Icarus, stop.” Her voice, though a command again, was gentle this time. She closed her eyes and took a breath before continuing. “What you have described, we are….” Her eyes opened, saw me back at attention, and paused. “We are… familiar with these relationships.”

There was nothing I could do to stop my own eyes from flying open and looking at her, barely keeping my mouth closed. As she continued to speak her voice took on a gentler tone; less the voice of a princess and more of a mare.

“Once, long ago now, we…. I… enjoyed such a coupling. He was…. We were…” The sound of her voice, the choices in her words, I understood. Instead of interrupting her I just nodded slowly. “That you found a natural entrance to the Dream Realm is interesting. I would learn more about how this happened. However more troubling would be what you had used the Dream Realm for.”

I could only nod once more and resume my formal stance. “I only ask that Her Majesty be merciful and allow me to die in my sleep with my mare.” I knew one day this might be the case, but a very outside chance. I had trespassed into Princess Luna's domain, learned how to manipulate a small part of it. Tartarus would be too--

“DEATH?! What?! Why would you…?! What made you….?! What? NO!”

I don’t know which of us was more surprised now. She was rocked so hard, she came down off her throne and walked quickly before me. With a sad look in her eyes she bowed her head slightly and whispered at my chin, like she had only once before…

“You are worthy of more mercy than that, Lunar Guard Icarus.”