Being in Canterlot Castle is an experience many Equestrians will never experience. Daywalkers get to see it gleam and sparkle with the sun’s rays; pristine whites and reflective golds. Imposing in its sense of grandeur and impossible perfection for all the world to see. Those in the military will typically transfer there for training after being vetted in their home cities.

But to truly appreciate any status symbol one must observe it outside its intended audience.

Canterlot was built after Princess Luna was banished, becoming the Mare in the Moon. The former seat of Equestria’s kingdom, The Castle of the Two Sisters, was left in ruin after the Princesses fought for control; Luna fighting for the co-equal rule she’d been denied, Celestia to retain the hold she’d been steadily tightening her grip on.

With the poetic image of the harkening sunset, Princess Luna addressed her guards; “At the beginning of this night, I will confront Celestia once and for all. You will NOT interfere on my behalf, nor will you allow her Solar Guard to on Celestia’s. They are not responsible for her actions, so you will not harm them. Keep them and the citizens away from our fight. If I fail…”

Her eyes closed as she took a deep breath to steady herself. When they opened the assembled Lunar Guard witnessed the unveiling of the most majestic, alluring, slitted eyes any batpony had ever seen. In this moment, Her Majesty truly showed the power she possessed; a strength she’d always hidden under her carefully kept mask for the public.

Her gaze swept across the assembled guard, looking them all in the eye before speaking in a deeper, rumbling voice, as if she were harnessing the thunder of an approaching storm. “-- retreat to Hollow Shades. Stay there until I can return to collect you again. No matter how long it takes, you will take no action against Equestria or Celestia, but do all you can to keep it safe from the shadows. If I fail then none of you could defeat her. But make no mistake, even if it take a thousand moons, I will return for you.”

Like so many generations of batponies, I was born in Hollow Shades. It’s a lovely forest village, teaming with bioluminescent flora and fauna. We care for each other, play as foals, teach each other anything we can from music to history to commerce. Part of our formalized schooling is in the full pre-history of modern Equestria at large, in military practices, in how to teach and care for each other. Most of the adults were part of what was called the Lunar Guard Reserve, those that continued formal military training and held the past secrets of the Crown, waiting for Princess Luna to return for us.

And then there was me. An odd little foal who would jump and fly near the treetops, fast enough to make leaves fall off the highest branches in my wake. It was always a challenge to see how many more leaves I could take off each time. As I got to be a stronger flier, my hooves started making impressions in the ground when I jumped before streaking off to visit the skies. But it always felt wrong, like I wasn’t doing something right and I just couldn’t figure out what it was.

One night as I looked up through the tree canopy at the starfield above and the Mare in the Moon in it, having learned about her creation, how it was Princess Luna in there, trying to come back for us, I cried. I cried for our lost princess. I was sad for her, angry for her, ashamed that none of us had ever tried to bring her home.

My father tried consoling me, telling me that I shouldn’t concentrate on something I would likely never be able to do. That I should just be learning to do something more realistic and reasonable, like grub farming or being a fisherpony. Maybe he thought he was giving me good life advice. Doesn’t every parent think they’re doing that? But in those words all I heard was, “you will never live up to your own expectations, so stop trying.”

And those words turned my sadness, anger, and shame into a white hot fury that made my teeth clench, my ears to slam back, and I almost growled like an Ursa. I half turned, dropped my body into the defensive angle we were taught early: shoulders lower than the flank, chest just grazing the top of the grass, and my wings snapped open with a new “POMF!” sound I had never heard before.

There was a new buzzing in my head and ears.

All my muscles were tensed up ready to fight.

I took the angriest breath of my life.

I wasn’t having it; wouldn’t accept that.

My own father told me, “No”.

I angled my wings back.

She called for me

The buzzing ROARED.

I launched!

Screeched….

After I blinked away a tear Princess Luna’s eyes were all I could see, my name the last word on her lips for me to hear.

The cone was still around us. We were still privately speaking.

Her voice was gentle but no less commanding. “You will listen and not interrupt.”

What could I do? I flicked my ears.

“You are not the first to have manipulated the dream realm, but your use is most interesting to me.” Luna’s head cocked slightly as if she was mulling over something puzzling. “Over the many moons there have been attempts to weaponize the dream realm. You learned the story of Gristle, the Great Mad Drake?” Her voice positively dripped with malice and spite once she said that name. “He tried to do just that. Pity he went mad shortly after he bungled his way into my domain.”

The foal rhymes about Gristle were more truth than warning stories?! All I could do is blink in shock.

“But you? You tried to give yourself a quiet… well, maybe not exactly ‘quiet’, place to escape the pain of your loss. First and foremost, I worry that this has been unhealthy for you, emotionally. It is my place to help ponies through traumatizing dreams so they are not harmed by them. I have some understanding of how we can punish ourselves night after night in some kind of penance.”

I cocked my head, feeling my helmet shift against my ears a little. “Majesty, I have never punished myself. I relived the experiences with my mare so I wouldn’t forget them. Since--” My throat was tightening up again. My training was the only thing keeping my voice coming. “..since my memories are all I have left of her and us.”

The Princess’ head bobbed slowly in acknowledgement. “Show me”, she commanded.

My eyebrow jumped under the helmet, keeping her from observing the level of my surprise. “I… Majesty, Show You what?”

In the next blink of my eyes I was surrounded by blackness, only able to see myself. My hooves were bare of their guards, my head had no helmet weight, and my flanks felt no blanket. But I heard Luna’s voice from around me, just as she had spoken in my dreamscape a week ago.

“You will show us what we last observed and you will give us the context we need to understand what you have been doing.”

Author's Note

I hope the lead-up to the next clop-heavy chapter has been worth it. I've felt that it important to understand Icarus by learning how he came to be the character he is.

The next chapter will be, literally, taken from a dream I had.