Juan the fourth woke up from his mediocre bed, it was a bed of average quality, much like the bed of a 2 star hotel.

“Oi pal we’ve got work to do” Twilight sparkle said chastisingly

“aye” Juan said

The Great War between Juan and Luna has been going on for 502 hours now, Juan needed to murder

“Oi cunt we’ve gonna go invade” Juan said, joyously

And so they set off to the great city of Rio De Poneiro, to kill

“YOU CHALLENGE ME WITH TRICKERY? I DONT BELIEVE IN MAGIC” Luna says calmly as Juan approaches On a double deck gay barge party boat.

Juan then teleports beside Luna

“Nothing”

“Personal

“Bro”

He then stabs her abdomen twenty times before getting hit in the eye, he now has an eyepatch, he looks very cool.

Then the theme song plays.

Temgachi l
Monami
Konami
Nanemo
Nanemo

It then ended.

“THOU HAVETH BROUGHTEH 100000 NIGHTS OF TROMENTOUS FURY, BY THE WRATH OF MOTHER CELESTIA WE WILL END YOU FROM THE HEAVENS WITH OUR UNBREAKABLE THUNDER GODDESS POWERS, OBSERVE INFIDELS THE MIRACLES WEOUGT BY THE HEAVENNSSSSSSS” Luna said before dying and promptly dying

Just then a flying bus dolphin hits twilight in the face, killing her tenporarily.

“oh fucken daym” Juan said

And now he was the controller of equestria, he spent his time passing news laws, abolishing racism, banning the House of Lords, burning down charity hospitals, erecting giant statues of himself, transitioning equestria into a parliamentary democracy, you know, commie stuff.

But then he remembered...

“SNAEJOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN”

And thus he set off the finish his quest, by now snaejon was but a smattering of bones on the ground, but he might fix it

You are watching Juan part 5 the first action packed story from your man cumcock

And now the great quest to find the good things.

Juan sets off into ponugyuan, the war state led by infamous populist leader ponald orbpone, he was an unreasonable pony, he had a very pointed horn which he would sometimes use to shank people with.

Juan then meets up with Orbpone.

“Aye pal need help I enjoy freedom” Juan said

“Los senoras de peripanere” Orbpone says

“Yes, kill the bus dolphin?” Juan says

“Los belore Los giantess dos Las uno dos Sahara Nevado Mexico Cuba medilin cocacabana sugarloaf mountain Christ the redeemer Los hombres des Palma Los etatas unis fuerte bueno suerte, si senor. Orbpone said whilst smoking a black and red cigar which had his marking on it.

“Yo that is a sick cutie mark” Juan says, pointing vaguely down at the horses cutie mark.

“Diagrams” Orbpone says happily.

And thus they set out for war against the freely elected democratic nation of Ponitinia

But first they needed a solid pretext

So they blow up the south tower of canterlot and blame it on the Ponitiniana, despite their leader, President Poney, denying it.

And thus the war begins.

The 200 divisions of the Ponugyuan armada charge into Ponitinia, killing millions of ponies and committing vast amounts of accidentally war crimes

You are reading the firth chapter of Juan epic story, and now the war, who will win?????

Juan charges into the enemy lines like a large dog, he then dies of liver failure

The deer of destiny then is summoned, causing s nuclear explsooons destroy all of the battlefield

Juan is reborn and stabs the enemy comander five times, ending the battle in a decisive Orbpone victory.

The Ponitiniana then deploy the ultra boat, formerly the poorly made ferry from later, but now crewed by Captain Pones, his intent is to go to the capital city of Ponugyuans, Poneville, and kill 999999 people.

“WE ARE SEEKING TO RESTORE ORDER TO THE UNIVERSE WE WILL END JUAN AND HIS TYRANCY HE IS ONLY IN THIS FOR OIL WE WILL SHOOT DOWN ANY UNLISCNENSED PEGASUS AND YOU HAVE ALL FORFIETED YOUR RIGHT TO LIVE CEASE T9 BE NOW OR ELSE” Pones says

“Oh fuck” Juan says, flying into the ferry.

“DONT YOU MURDER I HAVE TO SAVE SNAEJON I HAVE A FAMILY THERE” Juan says

“SO WHAT? YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A POORLY DESIGNED POORLY MADE CHARATCER WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO BE THE BEST” Pones says clams

“I WILL BRING HELLFIRE UPON YOU MY HEART IS AS SHARP AS A KNIFE AND I WILL CUT YOU DOWN” Juan says happily

“KILL THE PONEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIEEEEESSSSS” Pones says

“Nein” Juan says.

Juan then punches Pones across the face, momentarily dazing him, ponies responds by piledriving juan into the ground with upgraded fish hook, bloodied, Juan gets Pones in a headlock and dropkics him into a nearby mountain, causing it to erupt and become a new volcano, the onlooking Ponugyuans flock to it and it becomes a great tourist magnet.

Ponies then drop kicks Juan in turn all the way back to canterlot, destroying the rebuilt south tower, they then both teleport to the top of canterlot mountain as it is cool, like Juan.

“FOR SNAEJON SHISHAPANGMA LUKAS DAS KONGISDABTH” Juan says whilst furiously biting Pones tail off, which also reveals that his genitals were fake, and that he is a millennial.

“HOW CAN IT BEEEEE??????” Juan says cauusitously

Then, Pones smashing Juan into the peak of the mountain, it is very edgy, so it stabs a hole in his chest, causing him to bleed a lot.

“IF YOU LET ME KILL THE PEOPLE THEN THE WORLD WILL HAVE SALVATION” Pones says

“NOT ON MY TERMS” Juan says should radeoing in backup in the form of Twilight.

“Oi cunt let’s fuckin gettem” Twilight says

Juan and twilight then touch their heads and direct a large massive beam at Pones, this beam is so large it wipes off the top of Canterlot mountain, meaning canterlot is now at the top of it, also making everyone in equestria blind.

“YOU WILL SOON SEE- THE ERROR- IN YOUR WAYS-” says Pones, befor collapsing into a pool

Juan then kicks Pones back to Ponugyuan, then uppercuts him into his ferry.

Pones sits down at the back of the ferry, exhausted and dying of death.

“EQUESTRIA IS NOW A BLIND STATE, FIGHTING WARS WITHOUT REASON, WATSING TAXPAYERS DOLLARS ON FRUITLESS ATTEMPTS AT WORLD PEACE, WHAT WILL KIILLING ME DO???” pones says before dying

“Idk bruv but imo go get so diagirono pizza” Juan says.

Juan then travels to the crystal empire to get some pizza from the now deposed Cadacne, it was meat feast with extra sauce, it was agreeable.

He pondered then what to do, continue fighting or save snaejon.

“AYYYYYYEEEEE WERE GONNA FUCKEM UP BRUV” Juan said.

Juan the 4th then ran over to Ponitinia to meet with Orbpone.

“Ohoh Los gigantism de Malaga puerto Los vienos mi amore amore Los diagres Los textbook photo Dias grandes, mi amore” Orbpone said

“Sorry bro but you’re on” Juan said regrettably

Juan then killed Orbpone, he then travelled to Ponitinia To discuss bus dolphin and the armistice, it was a good armistice, which stood up for most things which most people stood up for, but for now, the conflict was over, it was the end...

Or was it?

Snajon

Snaejo
SNAEJON

JUAN REMEMEBRED HIS QUEST, AND WITH THE AID OF HSI GREAT ALLIES, HE WENT ONWARDS

But now, snaejons corpse was a lame bird

“Oi pal this is so hot” Juan said as he had intercourse with twilight in the Ponehara, this was funny as the desert was hot, and the sex was hot, it is very hot.

“Ikr?” Twilight said agreeingly

They were now nearing the hunting range and nuclear reactor, legends say cheese lived here, they were untrue.

But then Juan noticed something odd

“OI PAL WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A LARGE CIRCLE” Juan said!

“By god” Twiilight said

It then collapsed

As it turned out the large circle was the cooling tower for the nuclear reactor long ago buried by the sands of time, there they met the deer of destiny and asked for its blessing for the trip ahead, it obliged, and then magicked in some moped-dongos, the premium car you can buy form your man Cumnock for ¥9.50 today!

After negotiating the now dead forest, they entered the Fillymanejaro zone.

“This fucking sucks” Twilight said

“ I agree” Juan said back

They were camping on the top of Fillymanejaro, the bruvshack is what they called it here, they have a large bar, marecum juice was the order of the day, and it was pretty nice honestly.

“So where now?” twilight said

“Ponestralia” Juan said grimly, before having an edema and dying.

This was expected as there was no oxygen but he was just that good.

He was then reborn as Juan the IIIII, the ultimate Juan.

“YO CHECK U OUT BRUV PRAISE BE” Twilight said calmly

“Yoyo my guy lets save Snajeon” and thus they set off

Ponestralia was a boring place, hot, cold, and really mild, they gave it a low score because they found it really boring, but always remember SMBS

Then began the final leg of the ultimate journey and epic story, the Ponges, Juan sat and reflected upon his 200 years of quests.

“Uh, Juan bruv, why’d you stop the war back there?”

“We were merely pawns in a larger geopolitical game, we had no individuality, we were guns for hire, and you know something bruv? I’m not going to die for some third world dictator who’s only goal is to distract the people from their suffering, all for the sake of some fossil liquid, are we as a society so bound to the idea of freedom that we’re willing to sacrifice what makes us civil? What makes us... Ponies? I love equestria but I would never kill needlessly for it, regardless of the potential gains in doing so”

“Damn Juan that’s as epic a quest as any” Twilight said

And with that they went to bed in a poorly made tent, which would soon be refunded.

Wondering what’”” happen next on this...

EPIC STORY

Yo-yo thank you guys for reading epic story part 5 the end of the arc is near and we are soon to be enetering a new age of greatness.

Author's Note

Yo yo shout out to cumcockplays subscribe click the bell icon for good luck and a big Brian will cum to your god bless peace in Palestine god save cumcock