Juan the third stepped out of the amogus castle, by now it was concrete, due to la coubersire.

“It has been long, longer than mincemeat in a cheery summers eve!” Prince amogus said, cautiously

“Indeed, my friend, the other to rule the land lays before us, but first, order of business comes first, malady” Juan 3 said, knowingly

-gay sex-

Meanwhile, in canterlot

“OI LADS LISTEN UP, WEVE GIT JUAN IN IUR SITES, HE IS DESECRATOR OF THE HOLY TROMBOLA, AND MOST BE PUNISHED, ANU CANNE DE LAMPORE THE FITHEEN YE DAFT CUNT”, Twilight sparkle, princess of the colour purple said.

And so the war began

Juan gazed upon the 700 river crossings, however was blocked by wall

“PAY ¥20 AND GET PAST, LIMITED TIME OFFER”

he was not amused.

Juan flew to canterlot to ask for a student loan, but then.

“CLOP POLICE, DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHEYENNE”? the police said

“Nope, sorry” Juan said.

“Oh, sorry then, go along!” The police said

Juan then broke into canterlot castle, where he faced down twilight for the last time.

“So this is where it ends, eyyyyy?” Twilight said, ferociously

“I guess so” Juan 3 said

Silence

Silence

Silence

Juan then bloated at twilights left rib, breaking it into 5

Twilight then uppercuts his crotch, he was a transgender though, so he was fine

“HAHA, YOURE DUMB IF YOU THINK I HAVE BALLS” Juan said laghilbale

“That’d explain a lot” twilight said, sneakily

Twilight then punched Juan seventy times, Juan then pile dried her into the floor, then they both shouted “ow”.

“OW” they both shouted.

Twilight then blew up the north tower, causing it to come crashing down upon Juan, Juan, unamused, promptly activated his jet pack and used premium tier 5 missiles to fuck her up, twilight died, but then.

“CACWCACWCCACWCWCCACACWCCACWW”

THE PATRIOTIC BIRDS ARRIVED

Hawk 1 stabbed Juan in the neck, not because they didn’t get along, but because of a code error, hawk 2 swoops in “CAWCA CAW CAW CA WCACCWCWCACCACWCCWC CAW” it groaned.

Juan pulled out the knife of truth, stabs the hawks in half’s, and eats their hearts.

“ classy” Juan said to himself, calmly.

A day passes
Then another
And then one more.

Juan sang some song, and muttered, “arteth this immense boredom?”
“Aye pal, but we’ve gotten no clue where they’ve went” Twilight said after recovering from her untimely demise.

The two then ate the deer of destiny, it was commonly described as being the most tender meat anyone could ever taste, however Juan the thirds cock was more so, so he was not amused, they both rated the deer highly, congratulating it on doing well in tasting good, the deer became the national boat of Equestria, because Juan IIi is now emperor of equestria.

“Wait, I am here to save Snaejon, am I not?” Juan wondered.

“Oh yea we should probably do that” Twilight agreed.

Meanwhile.

Princess Luna has set up a castle in the city of Rio de poneiro and the ponazon river was now her horizontal shower, it was a nice castle, but Juan knew of those all too well.

“SHISHAPANGMA SHISH KEBAB IS WHAT I ASK FOR YOU CRETIN”, Princess Luna says to the humanoid tribesman

Luna was once ruler of equestria, now she is fighting a gorilla movement against those who had usurped her, she fights like Bruce Lee, we call her, Bruce Pony.

Meanwhile

Juan and Twilight are following the great flows of the Ponazon down the Rio de Poneiro, but then

“GAH THERES AN ARROW” Juan said disagreeably.

“Oi these must be the humanoids, we must meet with them” Twilight said agreeably.

“Fair words, but aren’t they enemy?” Juan said

“Yes!” twilight said.

They then swooped down to a dike in the river to meet with the chief of the local humanoid club.

“Oui las baguette monsieur de la etats unis” the humanoid chief said.

Twilight and Juan proceed to follow the chief down to Rio de Poneiro, however Juan’s hoofs are hurt from carrying, so he collapses.

Multiple days later

“Gotten fuck where am I?” Juan said
“B O A T” Twilight said back

They were on a boat.

“Where are we headed?” Juan said
“THE FUCKING CITY YOU CUNT” Twilight said.

They then arrived in Rio de Poneiro, the place smelled very bad, likely due to the cheese facilities, Juan went to the Castle to murder a Princess Luna and continue his quest, but first he needed maps to the route beyond to save Snaejon.

“Ah, greetings fellow pony, how do you do?” Luna said

“ I do your mom” Juan said

The two then went for a lovely stroll, Luna didn’t know what Juan III looked like, so she took him straight to the maps he needed.

“Ah, there’s the maps, how did you find it?” Luna said
“yes!” Juan said.

Juan then flew to twilight who was on the boat, but then.

Luna blasted the boat apart, babies were killed, the pets were killed, the tea was spilt, it was quite a state, Juan teleported to a random location to get away from it all with twilight, they ended up in the middle of the Ponazon Jungle, however.

THE MAP WAS BURNT IN A BIT

This meant that Juan couldn’t see where to go after section 81, meaning their whole mission may now be doomed.

But then.

A humanoid centipede approached, it was the messenger of the gods.

“Aye pal Juan you are lit bruv” it said

It then flew away.

With this divine providence, Juan was reenvigruated and set out immediately north, befriending the people groups along the way, building up an empire to take on the warring states ahead, he may not have known where he was headed, but he was sure of one ting.

Snaejon
Must
Be
Saved.

(sMBs)

Juan was then hit by a premium artillery shell and subsequently died, leaving his reincarnate, Juan the IIII, to continue the great legacy and dynasty.

WILL JUAN THE FOURTH BY VICTORIOUS? WILL Snaejon BE SAVED? WILL LUNA STOP HIS GREAT VISION? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON EPIC STORY, PART 4, PART 3 OF THE GREAT WAR, COMING TO YOU IN A FEW MONTHS TIME.

Author's Note

It is done.