Chapters 1 Waking Up Is Hard To Do
1 Waking Up Is Hard To Do
I drifted back to awareness in an unfamiliar place, feeling strange. My hands and feet felt stretched out; when I opened my eyes, the odd weight on my head corresponded to something just above and below my vision. Was my skull screwed into a halo? No... I could turn my head, I wasn't tied down.
Now that I looked around, it wasn't a hospital room. Rather, it had the look of a kids' room hastily prepared for someone visiting. Colorful pictures of horses everywhere, books I couldn't make out the titles to from here, even an oversized stuffed green horse sitting on a chair.
That just looked up at my movement and--
Whew, not stuffed, just a horse, no, pony sitting on a chair reading a book.
Mental record scratch.
"Ah, good, yer awake! Ya gave us a right scare, dearie, when Wheatgrass found ya in the field an' Dr. Triage couldn't bring ya 'round. Been three days, too, thought we'd have ta ship ya ta Fillydelphia."
"What... what happened to me?" My voice sounded odd, a bit hoarse. What were those dark blue things stuck to my face?
"That's what we was hopin' ya could tell us, Galaxy. Here, let me get some water in ya."
She, given her voice sounded female, hopped off the chair and somehow grabbed a glass of water by sticking her hoof to the side of it. Thirst and a dry throat overrode caution, yet I somehow jammed my nose into the water much faster than I expected. Coughing and spluttering, I raised a hand to rub the afflicted appendage and promptly froze.
"What happened to me?" I repeated in a whisper, my heart hammering. I looked at my other arm... no, also a horse's leg. Carefully, gingerly, I touched the side of my face to one of my... front legs. A snout. The green pony was starting to look more concerned at my antics, but I reached up to feel the thing sticking out above my eyes-- ouch, a sharp point!
"Don' worry, Galaxy, Doc Triage said yer horn is in good shape."
I focused on the... lady? Mare? "Why do you keep calling me Galaxy?" I asked. Thirst and a sore throat reminded me she was still holding out a glass of water. More carefully, I leaned over and sipped as she helpfully tilted it slowly. Such a simple, necessary pleasure, water. Cool, clean, with that subtle taste you can only get from a good well out in the country.
"'Cause of yer cutie mark, o' course. Jus' like I'm Candied Rose. Alla my friends call me Candy." Helpfully, Candy set the empty glass-- most of the water got in me, some had spilled over me and the quilt was a bit damp-- and turned to show me her, um, hips. There was a brand or tattoo or something of a rose surrounded by wrapped candies.
"My name is... Alex. Alex Stone..." I'd been putting off looking under the covers, fearing what I'd see.
"Odd name, lotta ponies will change theirs to match their mark, Ailex... no, Alex, right? Here, yer prolly hungry, I can whip up some soup fer ya quick if ya'd like?" At my nod, Candy trotted off, though she left the bedroom door open.
I took a deep breath, then tugged the covers aside to see... more pony. I was definitely a pony.
On the side of my rear end was a mark, unlike what Candy had. It looked like someone used a circuit board to draw a six-armed spiral galaxy, somehow the fur grew in that pattern, not a tattoo or brand. A look elsewhere, and an old frustration hit, still male. My tail and, a bit of clumsy pawing with a hoof, mane were quite the stark contrast to my fur; metallic silver with a few streaks of black.
Galaxy... a flash of memory, looking through my telescope in the depths of a clear night, gazing raptly at the Andromeda Galaxy, something... then the tendrils of the memory escaped me.
I shook my head, as Candy clattered around in the kitchen. Realizing I was naked, I clumsily pulled the sheets back over myself. It didn't matter that Candy wasn't wearing anything, got to stay decent after all. On that thought, my hostess walked in not a moment too early, a tray balanced on her back somehow, with a steaming bowl that smelled quite good. She stopped by the bed and looked at me expectantly. I looked back expectantly.
I blinked first.
"So why don't ya jus' grab it with yer magic or yer hooves?" Candy asked, puzzled.
"Erm... I don't know how? I never had magic... or hooves for that matter, 'til all this."
"Oh, dear. Never heard a' such a thing, even when a unicorn's horn got broke." Candy moved over to the nightstand, and I was able to at least guide the tray and keep things from spilling. There was a spoon, oddly normal in shape now that I thought of it. Nothing to it, then, I awkwardly pulled myself to a sitting position, doing my best to kep the sheets over my lap. For some reason, that made Candy stifle a giggle, more so than my leaning over and slurping soup carefully from the bowl.
"Ain't nothin' to be afraid of, nopony wears pants anyhow 'less they're gettin' really, really fancy. Not ta mention, I raised three foals."
I just nodded, not wanting to speak with my mouth full. Hmm, some kind of vegetable barley soup, not spicy though probably with some home-grown herbs. There seemed to be some fine-chopped straw or grass or something, but since it all tasted good anyway, I figured the extra fiber wouldn't hurt.
"That was really good, you're an excellent cook," I said as I finally came up for air, and realized I'd licked the bowl clean. Without thinking, I picked up the tray... and promptly dropped it as what I'd done hit home. I felt my ears go flat at the crash, but fortunately nothing broke. "Er, oops! How the hell did I do that?"
"Like I said, ya jus' do it." Candy scooped the tray and bowl off the floor, then held the spoon out to me. I swallowed, then touched my hoof to it, imagining I was simply taking hold. I felt it 'stick' to my hoof, as if I had a magnet embedded in my hand.
"Wow." I felt my cheeks heat, as I pictured someone acting as if they had hands for the first time back on Earth, then held the spoon over the tray and let go. Obligingly, gravity pulled the spoon down to the wood.
I waited for her leave again before screwing up my courage. First, sheets out of the way. Then carefully sit up and--
*THUD*
"I'm good!" I called out, pre-empting my host. Note to self, ponies walk on four legs, not two. So... maybe if I tried something like a push-up?
I'm sure I looked as wobbly as a foal, but I finally managed to get myself up onto all fours. At least the position felt as comfortable as standing casually on two feet used to. Maybe my brain was rewiring itself quickly? It would make for a great scientific paper... if I wasn't more preoccupied with survival and hopefully undoing whatever had happened to me. Oh, and the requirements of biology.
The less said about my first pony bathroom experience, the better. I awkwardly reared up to wash my hooves, then stopped and stared in the mirror.
While I was disappointed in staying my birth gender--apparently, bizarre transformations aren't convenient that way--I could like my new face. My looks almost seemed feminine, the long flowing mane didn't hurt in that department. The horn was pretty shocking to see, a long spike of a spire that went to a sharp point. My eyes were a light, almost brilliant blue.
With a little shake, I snapped out of my self-examination and finished washing, so I could at least practice walking.
***
When I got back to the guest room, I was happy to see my things carefully piled in a corner. I'd apparently exploded out of my clothes; my jeans were a ruin, my shirt was too-- I wondered what ponies would make of 'Keep Calm and Nuke It From Orbit'? Even more importantly, several other things had come with me. My beloved 4" Dobsonian telescope with various lenses, my old laptop-- sadly, the battery was drained, probably from being left on. Same with my cell phone. My binder of notes and sketches was there too! Turning pages with a hoof was still tricky, but I was able to find my last notes without ripping anything.
Let's see... July 5th, observed Saturn mid-evening, Jupiter, then hunted down the right area to see Andromeda. An odd pulsing glow nearly straight West caught my attention, was trying to center on it after adding a Barlowe lens, then nothing more.
My thoughts were interrupted by voices, one definitely Candy's, the other lower, male-- her husband Wheatgrass, I assumed. The door was still a bit tricky-- why on Earth would quadrupeds, with hooves, use round doorknobs of all things? I slowly made my way down the hall of what felt like a ranch style house, having to focus on where I put each foot and in what order. I nearly tripped again when I was distracted by the living room, with all the pictures of various ponies, but made it to the kitchen in one piece. There was a new pony to me, a strong, blocky sort with fur the color of ripe wheat, mane and tail the color of sun-faded leaves.
"Er, hello, I'm Alex. Alex Stone. Thanks for taking care of me." I waved a hoof, then wobbled and almost fell over, but caught myself before they could do more than take a step. "Wheatgrass, I presume?"
The man, no, stallion? nodded. "Good ta see ya up and about, Gal, er, Axel.. Alex, sorry. It's no trouble, always good ta help a pony in need."
Wheatgrass and I moved back to the living room, where I ended up sprawling on the couch trying to keep myself decent, while he settled into an overstuffed easy chair on one side of the fireplace. I got an odd look at my antics, but... why couldn't pants be normal?
I explained that I'd been stargazing in a field 'pretty far away from here', and something weird happened. The next thing I knew, I woke up in their guest room. Wheatgrass explained how he found me when he went to plow the back field three days ago, to get it ready for the spring planting. That was a shock, and I said as much-- it was late summer where I'd been!
Wheatgrass frowned, rubbing his chin with a hoof. "'Fraid that'd have to be taken to one a' the magic universities or summat. Maybe even Princess Celestia. Sounds like yer a long, long way from home-- this is Equestria, not the Amareca ya said ya was from. Like Candy said, we'd be glad ta help ya get back on yer hooves."
I gave a tenative smile. "Well... you probably do things differently here, but I have worked on a farm before. I suppose I could lend a hand, uh, hoof, while I look for work and a way to get home?"
***
After dinner that evening, consisting partly of hay that I'd never imagined could be cooked in five ways, I stepped outside to watch the sun set and the stars come out. And that's where I really started to panic.
The sun was dropping too fast. It had crept across the sky at its normal pace as the world turned, then suddenly, it's as if someone had decided the day was over and it was time to wrap things up. Then the moon rose.
It was almost exactly opposite the sun, so it should have been full or nearly so, waning slightly.
It was a crescent moon, nearly new.
I was starting to hyperventilate as I stared at the stars. Some came out normally... others were more like mirror satellites.
"I'm not on Earth anymore," I whispered to the terrific, and terrifying alien cosmos above.
Author's Note
First story jitters, I hope you enjoy and are intrigued!
Dr. Triage came by the next morning to check up on me. He was the epitome of a pony country doctor; he wore a clean doctor's coat over his greying unassuming brown self, and carried a black bag with his stethescope and various other tools. Even more interesting is that he was a unicorn, the bag floating alongside wrapped in a light brown glow that matched his horn. That explained the oddly expectant looks Candy and Wheatgrass gave me now and then-- I was supposed to have telekinesis or something!
I took a deep breath as he set the bag on the nightstand; I had something to tell him and... hell, tell my hosts too, before I lost the nerve.
"Doc... and Wheatgrass, Candy, I have something to, well, admit to." Nervously, I rubbed my front hooves together. "I'm... not originally a pony. I'm not even from this world." I paused, and Doc gave what I took as an encouraging gesture.
"Until three, no four days ago now, I was a bipedal naked ape." I nodded to my wallet, which I'd put on the little table by the bed as well. "Um... I don't know how to use my horn, if I can even do the telekinetic thing. Could you open that and pull out the card in the little window?" Obligingly, the good doctor extracted my driver's license.
"Well, well. It says here you're one Alex Stone indeed. I take it this is what you looked like?" At my nod, he helpfully showed the card to the other two ponies. "I do say, that does explain the ill-fitting rags you were half-wrapped in, those bizarre foot coverings and whatnot. Given my examinations of you these several days, I would have to say your transformation was quite thoroughly complete."
Candy surprised me by smiling. "Well, welcome ta Equestria, Alex! I'm guessin' ya got here on accident?"
I hung my head a bit. "Yeah. I was looking at the Andromeda Galaxy, saw a funny light and tried focusing my telescope on it... that's the last thing I remember before I woke up in here yesterday."
"Huh." Wheatgrass sat back on his haunches and rubbed his chin. "So... what's it like, bein' a pony now?"
The question made me blink. "Well... it's really different and weird. I didn't have magic or anything. I stood on two legs, no tail even, and had hands. They're these things with, umm.."
Doc Triage saved me. "We know about minotaurs, who somewhat resemble what you describe. I suppose dragons and gryphons count as well, though they tend to refer to their forelimbs as claws or talons."
I looked from the aged doctor to my hosts. "Wow... I, well, this is a lot nicer of a reception to the news than I expected. I kinda expected you to freak out, or call me crazy or something."
Doc smiled warmly. "Don't fret, young stallion. While magical transformations and such are quite rare, it isn't completely unheard of. If you like, I could write to some experts to see if they could reverse your condition?"
I blinked. "Well... sure, why not? Honestly, the only thing wrong with being a pony is when you're not supposed to be one."
Doc Triage (definite Doc, not Dr.) chivvied Wheatgrass and Candy out of the room and commenced a professional examination of me. A good bedside manner kept the thoroughness of said examination from being embarassing. Aside from ensuring the health of his patient directly, he had another motive: clinical explanations of self-care and why it was important. Hoof care was a lot more complicated than I realized! I was also apparently just barely into adulthood, somewhere between 18 and 20 years of age. I quite surprised Doc when I told him I was in my late 30s before whatever happened-- that I was basically getting into middle age.
The last examination was totally different to anything else. He held up what looked like a tuning fork with cyrstals for tines and ran it over first my hooves, then the marks on my sides, and lastly my horn. The crystals glowed with various colors, primarily blue and green.
"Excellent, excellent, your magic is in good condition as well. Given your unusual nature, I am not surprised you do not know how to use it. I doubt I could easily use the abilities of your kind were our positions reversed. If you wouldn't mind, I'd be glad to give a quick lesson in the most basic and ubiquitous of unicorn magics?" At my nod, he levitated out the little reflex-testing hammer and placed it on the hardwood floor.
"First, reach inside yourself. Look for a limb, a hand, if you will, you didn't have before." That part was rather oddly zen-like. Strangely, unlike previous attempts at meditation, I actually felt a sense of self, and the surroundings. I opened my eyes, and was surprised at a glow, as if I were wearing a bright blue headlamp. In my surprise, I let go of the feeling and the glow immediately quit, albeit with a faint twinge at the base of my horn, a wisp of smoke, and the faintest noise like an engine backfiring. Oops... without prompting, I reached for that extension of self again, finding it more quickly and this time holding it. Doc's smile was approving and encouraging.
"Wonderful! And be careful of dropping a spell or having it interrupted, the feedback can get very painful. So can overuse, much like any muscle. Now, wrap the hammer with your new limb." I absently stuck my tongue out the corner of my mouth as I focused on the hammer. Just the intent seemed enough; that overall awareness of the room's contents shrank to the medical tool lying on the floor; a glow matching that around my horn surrounded it.
"Good, good! Now, picture lifting it, gently as if you were offering it to somepony, a few feet off the floor." I swallowed, and imagined just that, carefully lifting something delicate up. There was a little wobble, and finally the device was actually floating in mid-air, still surrounded by the glow. My heart hammered in my chest, I was doing magic. Real, honest-to-goodness magic, the impossible!
"Now, one last task, you're doing well. I want you to set it back on the floor. Gently rest it in place without letting it fall. You're placing it, not dropping it." I nodded, which made the hammer bobble a bit, before trying to follow the instructions. It dropped too quickly, but I still had a 'grip' on the thing. At least I kinda settled it down without much of a clatter. A more deliberate 'letting go' ended the spell without backfiring.
"Thanks, Doc. That... wow. There's nothing like that where I come from. No magic. I just did something that people only ever dreamed of doing."
Doc Triage smiled warmly, putting a hoof on my shoulder. "That's why I do what I do, my friend. There's amazing beauty in the things we experience every day. Now, I want you to practice every day; just like a muscle, a unicorn's magic can weaken and atrophy. Soon, you'll be as adept as any moving things about."
I nodded, still grinning like a fool. "I understand. Using a crutch too long, a person's body gets used to leaning on it, rather than rebuilding the leg it's trying to help."
Before Doc Triage left, he gave me a list of exercises to help me get used to my new form, and reminders on caring for myself. They were actually printed checklists for physical therapy and new parents. I set them on the nightstand, though with my hoof rather than horn, not sure if I'd accidentally crumple the paper.
***
There is a great, atavistic pleasure in accomplishing a difficult task by hand, of turning ordinary land into life-giving food, neatly tilled, smoothed, and planted.
That said, doing things the old-fashioned way is a pain in the tail. Come to think of it, that was about the only part of me that wasn't sore after a day of raking and planting. There was still plowing to do as well; Wheatgrass ducked into a harness and yoke attached to an old-fashioned plow and took off after helping me get into a much lighter one with a rake on it and showing me how to use it.
It was an ingenious little system. A two-wheeled device with tines that could be raised or lowered with a tug on one of two straps running to the harness. The plow worked in a similar way, but Wheatgrass told me that first, he wanted the furrows to actually be straight, and second, that it took an Earth Pony (and not a pony from Earth) to pull.
Given that running the rake was really wearing on me, and it looked like Wheatgrass was having an easy time of it plowing, I believed him. He was rolling soil over at a good clip while I was panting a bit merely breaking up and smoothing out what he'd done the previous day. It felt weird to work a machine with my mouth, but like walking on four limbs, repetition got me used to it.
Without even a radio to distract me, the task got pretty boring. When I spotted a stick lying in the fencerow, I got an idea. Why not combine work with practice? I faltered a bit at first, but kept at it, simply levitating the stick in front of me while keeping the rake moving. The ends of the rows were the trickiest, trying not to drop the stick or send it flying while I worked the machine and moved in other than a straight line.
Lunch was a pleasant affair, under an old oak by a lane that ran between fields. I'd left off levitation practice an hour or so back when I was feeling the first twinges of over-exertion. Still, I was able to hold my daisy sandwich more or less steady and take bites from it.
"Thanks again for helpin' with the plowing and planting, Alex. Yer workin' hard for any unicorn, let alone one with barely a week's experience bein' one. At this rate, we're gonna get tha crops in afore the scheduled rains."
I shrugged, while working on the mouthful of daisy sandwich I'd just taken a bite of. The flavor was, well, different, not bad. "It's only right. I mean, you and Candy are giving me somewhere to live, and I've been eating your food and all. There's only so much lazing around a guy can do, too." I looked down at my hooves. "'sides, if I can't get home or even back to my old self... this is a second chance few people ever get."
Wheatgrass nodded approvingly. "Glad ta hear. I admit, it's good ta have a colt 'round the place again. Been a coupla years since our third foal left ta find his fortune." He glanced at the remains of lunch, then up at the sun. "Whelp, time ta get back to it."
I snorted. "You're older than I used to be, and you've still got more get up and go than a teenager. I think I'm beginning to understand just what Earth Ponies have going for 'em."
The nice part about working in a field was the time to think. The ponies here were so welcoming to someone new. I wondered how much was social, and how much was biology? I seemed to be quite accepting of my new shape, and surprising myself at how quickly I was adapting. Was any of my own situation from my wish to be different?
Chapter 3: Seedy Places
Wheatgrass had insisted on paying me for the help with the spring planting. The only thing he insisted on doing himself was putting the seed in the ground. Apparently it was an Earth Pony thing, and I could feel something magic happening as the seeds fell in an interesting pattern. Casting an eye over the field, I suspected it was to do with soil quality. Perfect placement that would take much expensive research on a given plot, combined with not cheap GPS equipment wired to a planter capable of dropping seed on demand rather than in a generic pre-set spacing.
The next day, we finally had some time off work. Wheatgrass wanted to putter around the farm, but I was eager to check out the local town, Horsedale. Candy wanted to pick up some things at the market too, so I helped load her cart up with sacks of wheat and bushels of dried corn. The couple lent me a pair of worn saddlebags, and Wheatgrass pushed a small sack of coins into my hoof. "Payment fer all tha hard work ya been doin', you earned it." I couldn't turn him down-- no telling how long I'd be here. Not stuck, just not where I belonged. I thought, anyway.
The road was pretty empty, though we exchanged greetings with a few other ponies working their fields. Otherwise, we just chatted casually about small town life and what to expect a few miles down the road.
Just having it described to me wasn't like seeing a town made--and inhabited--by ponies firsthand. Firsthoof? The buildings were charmingly medieval for the most part, with a grain mill/storage by the railroad tracks, a lovely brick library, a general store, and a bar that looked like a saloon from the Old West. I helped Candy unload her wagon at the mill, then decided to wander about and explore sans guide.
The ponies were delighted to see a new face from out of town. Most folks about were earth ponies, though I met my first pegasus. Inky Quill was, naturally, the librarian. A mostly blonde pegasus, with black tips to her feathers. It was fascinating to see her use her wings like hands, the primary feathers actually flexing to help grip a book or quill. She set me up with a card and helped me with a few books on unicorn magic, Equestria lore, and a guide to the night sky of Equus. I was so ready to set my telescope up and explore new skies! I just didn't dare risk damaging the mirrors or lenses with clumsy hooves or telekinesis.
I'm pretty sure my browsing in the general store stretched the patience of the proprietor a bit. This was just like wandering through an antique store, and a drug store and a supermarket without a refridgeration section. I finally settled on some apples and pears, somehow fresh out of season, a small spool of copper wire, a couple bar magnets, and a few other bits and pieces, plus a sack of coffee beans. It took a good chunk of my coins, also called bits, but there were some things I wanted to try out.
And on that thought, a late lunch at the bar, assuming things were like back home! I wandered in, stepping to the side of the doors to let my eyes adjust before heading over to the bar itself. It seemed a bit quiet, the pale earth pony with a black mane looked me up and down while polishing a mug, an apron draped over his front.
"Hi! I'm Alex. I'd like, umm..." I looked around, spotted the scrawled menu on a chalkboard to the side. "A burger, double order of fries, and some cider, please."
The proprieter nodded. "Moe Cider. Sure. Seat. Eight bits."
Huh, bartender of few words. Ah, well. I settled myself into a sturdy chair and pulled out a history book. After a few minutes, it dawned on me that the saloon was a bit too quiet, just before several sets of hoofsteps came up behind me. Someone was doing their best to loom. Just in case, I flipped the book closed. Idly, I hummed a tune as I waited for whoever it was to make their point.
"Yer kind don't belong in here."
I Spocked an eyebrow. "Accidental interdimensional travelers?"
At the sound of grinding teeth, maybe I was a bit too flippant. "Unicorns, ya pointy-headed idiot. This here's an earth pony town, an' a earth pony bar."
I rolled my eyes, getting up to face the trio of ponies facing me. Rough-looking, and glaring.
"Seriously? In a land ruled by a freaking princess of friendship, you're pulling this crap?" In the back of my head, I was belatedly realizing the wisdom of Ron White: 'I don't know how many of 'em it would take to whip my butt, but I know how many they were gonna use.'
The next thing I knew, I was glad the door to the bar was a saloon-style swinging double door as I flew through it back-first, the air knocked out of me and hind hoof-prints on my chest. I skidded on my back on the dusty street, adding more wear and tear to the hand, err, hoof-me-down saddlebags I wore. That wasn't quite as bad as when the book I'd been reading sailed out after me, unerringly striking my horn and sparking agony as if someone had punted me in the family jewels.
Oww... colorful ponies and magic aside, this world was quite real, and actions had consequences. I gathered up the tatters of my dignity, the fortunately unharmed book, and made my way off to find a spot to read and enjoy some slightly bruised fruit for a lighter lunch than I intended.
***
My ears perked at the sound of footsteps, err, hoofsteps, and I lowered the book I was halfway through, a half-eaten apple still hovering by my head. Approaching was a tan earth stallion with a dark-brown mane, an honest-to-goodness white Stetson, a blue kerchief, and a vest with a star pinned on.
"G'afternoon. I'm Sheriff Gold Star. Been' lookin' for ya, heard you had some trouble at Moe's bar."
I blinked. The fellow was practically a caricature, but there was an aura of authoritative honesty about him.
"Er, yeah. I'm Alex Stone... there were three ponies that said something about the place being for earth ponies only, shortly before they literally kicked me out." My chest still had a slight ache from the bruising. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"
Sheriff Star shook his head. "Nah, it's that Pipe Wrench and his two buddies that was in the wrong. A few ponies saw what happened and got hold of me and my deputy, Hiro Silver." He frowned. "The three fools had the nerve to brag 'bout what they did. Hope a day in lockup gets 'em to rethink how they treat ponies. Told 'em mebbe ol' Doc might not be so quick to patch 'em up next time they get a bit rowdy, too. Anyhow, I wanted to apologize for the kinda welcome you got, and hope ya give Horsedale another chance."
I gave him a smile. "Thanks for stopping by. I'm sure I'll be around. This is a pretty nice town, with a lot of decent people."
Author's Note
There always seems to be That Guy. Or Those Guys, in this case. And our protagonist gets a rude awakening from complacency.
