All Ends With Beginnings

“Okay Okay Okay, you got this!” You tell yourself.

You’re Fluttershy, and Twilight just tasked you with spending time with the new creature that just arrived in Equestria. A Human. Practically a monkey. You’ve taken care of monkeys before. Maybe he likes bananas? Oh, but that also sounds like a personal question, and Twilight said to not ask personal questions. Now that you think of it, all your questions may be personal questions.

What food does he like? What is his favorite music? Favorite color? LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? HIS OPINION ON THE POLITICS OF DOOR HANDLES?

Fluttershy, Fluttershy, just be cool.

You GOT THIS! You’re going to go in there, and be his best friend, just like Twilight asked of you. Hay you don’t have a reason to be scared anymore, from what you know now, he is just another scared and lonely creature who needs to be taken care of. Who the hay cares if he’s an omnivore? Mr. Bear is an omnivore, he eats meat, and you love Mr. Bear. He’s your best friend. And from what Twilight found out after her day with Anon, Humans don’t even eat ponies, so you have no reason to be scared.

You bring up a hoof and lightly tap on his door and back up.

…

Nothing.

You do it a second time.

Still nothing.

Maybe you aren’t tapping hard enough. Oh but you don’t want to scare him. He does suffer from night mares after all. Although it’s already 10 in the morning, and from what Princess Luna said at breakfast, this has been his calmest night yet. Still muttering in his sleep maybe, but he wasn’t screaming his poor head off.

You tap the door a little harder this time.
This seemed to work, as you could hear Anon shuffling around in his room and approach the door. It opens, and you get to see Anon up close.

”Oh...Good morning, uh, Fluttershy was it?”

“Mhm, that’s me! It’s my turn to spend the day with you! That is uh, if you don’t mind?”

Anon rubs the sleep from his eyes and scratches the back of his head.

”No, no problem at all. Please come in, I just need to take a shower and get dressed. Just uh, don’t try to follow me in the bathroom, like what one of the guards tried to do.”

“I wouldn’t think of it!” You smiled.

You walked into Anon’s room and sat down on one of the sofas, as Anon took off his hoodie and threw it on the bed. He grabbed a towel and stumbled into the bathroom. Leaving you alone in the room just to think.

Think about what you’d actually do with Anon. Maybe a walk around the Garden? See all the pretty animals? Maybe walk around the palace? Maybe you could just sit in the room and talk about what you two enjoy over tea? Dangerous gambit there, you may end up asking a question too personal.

After some time passed you decide to to pace around the room a bit, maybe you’ll see something that’ll give you an idea. Hmm...a dresser, he wears clothes. Maybe a trip to a boutique? No, he’s a Human, and you didn’t think they’d have Human clothes there. Plus you’re pretty sure he’s not allowed to leave the castle. A painting of butterflies. The walk in the garden was still an option.
Some old books. You’re no Twilight, but maybe there is some literature you can discuss?

A notebook...with his name on it?

You walk up to get a better look. His name was written in a small white box, it was kind of faded. In ink that appeared to be a lot bolder, and freshly written were in large capital letters reading, “DO NOT READ.”
Hm...something is telling you not to read such a thing. It’s probably his diary. You aren’t scum enough to go through his diary. You’re train of though came to sudden halt when you saw a hand grab the note book in front of you and throw it in a drawer with a loud slam.

“EEP!”

You jump and cower behind the closest thing that’s larger than you. The bed.

Shivering you peek your head our from behind the mattress. Anon is standing there clothed and with his hand in front of the drawer, giving you a stern look. You try to choke out an apology.

“I-i’m sorry Anon, I promise you I wasn’t trying to read it, honest!”

Anon just continues to stare at you. You feel smaller than a mouse now, his eyes piercing you. You begin to tear up. Now it’s Anon’s turn to feel guilty.

”No, no don’t cry please. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry! I didn’t know you were just looking at it! It’s my fault I left it on the desk anyways.”

You wipe your tears from your eyes.

”Really, it’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have reacted that way.” Anon continues. “It’s just...I’d prefer what’s in that book to stay in it. Ya know? I didn’t mean to startle you.”

You come out from hiding and walk up to Anon.

“It’s fine, you just caught me off guard. I should’ve stayed away from it knowing how secretive you are. Honestly. Why don’t we just start our day hm?” Anon seems to relax a bit.

”Yea fine. That’s fine. What do you have in mind?”

“Well, if it isn’t too much of bother, I know that your dressings need to be changed and cleaned, and another healing spell applied. We should go down to the palace infirmary and talk about what to do there.”

”Sounds good to me.”

Once in the infirmary, you begin to help the medical staff by getting everything prepared, once Anons shirt and bandages are off, the nurses wash and apply their healing spells over his main wounds and bruises to help in easing the pain and speeding up the healing process.

Once they were done with that, you asked them to leave so that you two could be alone. Wouldn’t want Anon feel like he was surrounded again. Besides, all that was left was reapplying the dressing, and you could do that yourself. Although his healing was coming along very nicely, some of them were still rather deep.

“Don’t worry, this will only take a minute.” You explain.

Anon sat patiently as you wrapped some gauze around his shoulder, some more over his left pectoral muscle.

You reach his left arm and pause. These aren’t like the other wounds on his body. They were knife wounds, localized. Yea he had other cuts on his body, but they weren’t this localized, and all of different sizes.
D-does he?

“Uhm Anon?”

You look up to him. He is clearly getting nervous. He avoids your stare.

“Anon? W-where did these cuts come from?”

Anon rubs the back of his neck.

”Uh...t-there just like any of the other wounds.”

You knew he was lying.

“Anon, where did these cuts come from?”

Anon just sighed, “I don’t want to talk about that. Please just apply the bandage and we can leave. None of them are new anyways. Not since arriving.”

So they are where you thought they were from. You were afraid of that. You’ve heard of ponies committing self harm, some times over the dumbest of things, but you’ve never met somepony who’s actually done it to themselves, nor have you had to treat someone with those wounds.

Anon couldn’t look you in the eyes, he looked so embarrassed.

You had to do something. You just hugged him. This poor creature. Stuck in an alien world, so far from home, probably feeling lost and confused, just got out of a gruesome situation. And now you just learned he hurt himself as well, and not by accident.

By the maker, you just had to find a way to make this day better, you just had to. First the book, now this.

Anon was hugging you back now, rubbing your back.

”I-I’m okay Fluttershy, really. I haven’t done that to myself in a while, honest.”

You break the hug.

“Honest?”

”Honest.”

You wipe the tears from your face and finish wrapping his wounds. You suggest taking a walk in the Gardens, and he agrees. You will make it up to him. What ever it takes. You owe him that much.

It’s about half past noon once you two finally make it to the gardens. The animals have finally warmed up to you after your many visits to the castle. A few of them would come and give you a flower or some berries.
A few birds would tweet a song. A few of the cozy critters just wanted hugs.
Maybe Anon would enjoy some of the animals here...if he didn’t want to eat them.

No! He wouldn’t. Anon ate breakfast! You were sure? The palace staff probably had some meat in reserve for the Griffon ambassadors. Surely they’d be able to quell his meat cravings.

Despite your fears, you decide to risk it and try to find a cute critter for him to snuggle. Most of them would avoid Anon though, they seemed afraid of him. Dang it. You couldn’t judge them though. Anon was scary to you when you first heard of and met him. He could still give you a fright if he was in a sour mood apparently too. You couldn’t let the animals being scared deter you though. You already made two situations very uncomfortable, you had to make it up to him!

You two continue to walk through the garden in silence, you’re racking your brain to think of a way to make the critters here like Anon, or maybe even an alternative solution.

”You know, this is very nice! A lot more peaceful and relaxing than when I woke up here.”Anon interrupted your scheming and brought you back to the real world.

”Being here when there’s light makes it more bearable.”

Oh HORSEAPPLES! This is where Anon woke up! No doubt in your mind THIS would bring back painful memories!

“OH MY GOODNESS AnonI’msososorryIpromiseIdidn’tknowIwasn’ttryingto...”

”Woah, woah, Fluttershy, it’s all okay, I promise. You didn’t do anything wrong. Hell I agreed to come out here didn’t I?”Anon was putting his hands up trying to diffuse the situation.

“A-are...are you sure it’s alright?”

”Yes! Of course. In fact I was appreciating how calm and peaceful the gardens are. Especially during the day.”

Crisis averted, your heart rate slows back down to a steady rhythm. Too many close calls Flutters. You need to find this Human a cute bunny or something to cuddle ASAP! “O-oh. Well...that’s wonderful, I’m happy you feel that way! I’m sorry for over reacting. I just promised to do my best and show you all the kindness I can!”

”I understand, thank you. How ‘bout we just continue our walk hm? I think I recall seeing a water fountain out here from my balcony.”

“Of course! Here, I’ll show you where it is if you don’t remember.”

Aaaand about half an hour later you ended up getting a little lost. The Garden’s are huge. You’d guest-imate probably half the size of Ponyville! Anon seems patient though, just enjoying the fresh air and calm. He deserves it, especially after coming out of what ever part of Tartarus that gave him all those wounds.

The quest for the cuddly animal friend has not ceased however! As you two walk around the Gardens, searching for this allusive fountain, you’d look around and think of any animals Anon would like to hug. You first think of small animals or babies. Oh a birdy would look so cute perched on his shoulder! *gasp* Or maybe, an adorable little opossum sitting in the hood of his hoodie nibbling on a strawberry!

Yes, good ideas, you’ll save those for later. But what else? Anon is big, maybe he’d want a big animal to give a bear hug to...maybe a bear? No a little too scary, plus you don’t think they have bears here.

Biggest animal you’ve seen here are swans! Though you’d have to make it to the fountain to see one of those.

Hm…

Yep, a swan would do. They are always so friendly...at least to you. Dang it that’s right, you need to find a way to make them like him. The animals still seem to be afraid of Anon. Running away at the mere sight of him.

This doesn’t seem to phase Anon though, he was still just enjoying the atmosphere.

”Hey I think I see the path to the fountain!” Anon points with his finger in a direction the right of you two.

By Celestia's butt, a huge sign with a big ol’ picture of a fountain pointing to a dirt path was just a few yards away. Welp. That solves the fountain problem. And sense you couldn’t find a smaller or more suitable creature, looks like a swan will have to be it. Even if he may not get to hug one, he could feed it some seed!

You two approach the gate of the gardens and Anon pushes it open. Allowing you to enter first. What a gentlecolt. Erhm, gentleman? That sounded more fitting.

You two walk up to the base of the fountain. The ornate statue in the middle was rather plain, but it’s size most definitely made up for it. Easily twice as large as Princess Celestia!
The statue itself was of a mare on an orb, standing on one of her back hind legs, with her forelegs in the air. The sculpted pony seemed to be spitting out a steady stream of water, which kept the pool around it full.
Just as you remembered, there were a few Swans swimming in the large pool of the pond. You waved Anon over, and took some seeds from a feed box by the side of the base.

“Here Anon, do you want to feed one of the swans?”

Anon made an unsure face.

”Oh, ehh...I don’t know about that Fluttershy, all the animals seem to be afraid of me. You know, scary alien?”

“Oh nonsense, I’m wonderful with animals, I take care of all the little critters that show up to my cottage back home. Here, I’ll show you.”

Anonymous reluctantly moved his way further to the pond, and took some of the feed from your hoof. You lean over the edge and get the attention of one of the daddy swans, the mommy continues to swim with her babies in another direction.

You begin to coo and convince the water fowl to come closer.

“Hello there Mr. Swan, you look really nice today! I can see that your feathers are already nice and preened! You’ll have to show me how to get them just right. I don’t do as good of a job on my wings. Are you hungry?” The swan gradually makes it’s way closer to you. You hold out your feed.

The swan gently nibbles at the seeds in your hoof and you could see a smile spread on his beak.

“Would you like to meet my fried Anonymous?” The swan stared at you, with a blank expression. You pulled Anon over “Go ahead put out your hand.”

You wrapped your hoof around Anon’s arm and pulled him in closer.

Anon reached out his hand, and the swan cowered a bit.

“It’s okay Mr. Swan, Anon won’t hurt you. See? He’s nice and kind.”

The swan looked up at your Human friend, Anon was giving a small timid smile back. The swan inched closer and inspected the feed, and reluctantly began to eat.

“See Mr. Swan? Anon isn’t mean.” Anon chuckled at your statement. You smiled.

YES! Everything was going great, you were finally doing something right! You slowly let go of Anon’s arm and allowed the swan to get used to and continue to eat from Anon’s feed. “Wait right here Anon! I’m going to go a fetch Mr. Swan’s family!”

”That sounds fine Fluttershy, you go and do that.”

Your smile grows wider. You canter up to the group of swans Mr. Swan was swimming with previously. Three cute little babies and a beautiful wife. You hoof out your feed and coo.

“Hello all of you! Would you like to join your daddy and husband in a snack?” The baby swans beep and get closer to your feed, their little beaks pecking away at the meal presented in front of them. You let out a giggle. “That’s right, let’s go and join you-”

*HISSS*

You don’t even get the rest of your sentence out of you mouth when you hear the hissing of a swan...from Anon’s direction.

”Woah! Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, I don-AHH! FUCK!”

You look up and see Mr. Swan biting Anon’s hand. Oh, no. DANG IT! It was going so well. You gasp and drop the rest of the feed into the water and rush over.

Anon was desperately trying to pull his hand away from the swan’s beak. You rush up and grab Mr. Swan, pulling opposite of Anon.

”AH! God damn it, let go of me you shit!”

Well that wasn’t very nice. You continue to pull until Mr. Swan is promptly removed from Anon’s hand, and you let him go. The Swan quaked at your friend a few times before swimming off.

“HEY! Mr. Swan! That wasn’t very nice of you! Haven’t you ever heard of biting the hoof that feeds you! Or, erm, Hand?”

You turn back around ready to give a full apology speech to Anon, when you see it.

“Oh Anon, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know Mr. Swan was going to bite you! Oh if I knew I would’ve never...”

Blood. Not a lot of it, but just enough to leave are large red stain on Anon’s hoodie, and enough to leave small smears on his hand in a deep crimson.

”Ah Fuck! Damn bird! Shit.” As Anon was continuing to scream obscenities, you could only watch as your world came crashing down. Your motherly instincts to tend to him couldn’t even over power the failure you could feel, deep in your heart.

The entire day was a failure after another. First you anger Anon by looking at his diary. Then you embarrass him by confronting him about his arm, which was way too much of a personal question and issue to bring up with a creature you just met. Then you bring him out to the place he woke up in, the first moments being here with what ever he went through still in his mind. He said it was fine, but you don’t know if he was just saying that. Hay he probably was! Just trying to be nice.

Then this happens. You end up putting Anon in a dangerous situation, and made him bleed.

Failure.

Failure, Failure, Failure. You wanted to give up. Sure if it was one of your best friends, you wouldn’t be having so much trouble. Hay even if you did, none of them were going through what Anon was going through now. And you just met him! This is your first impression on him as Element of Kindness and you were supposed to make him feel comfortable and safe but only managed to screw this all up!

Your bottom lip began to quiver.

Your vision was starting to blur from the fresh tears in your eyes.

A failure.

”GOD! MMMMM-DAMN IT! Hey Fluttershy do you…?”

You didn’t want to look at him. You couldn’t. How could you? You failed Anon, you failed Princess Celestia, you failed Twilight, you failed our element...you failed your self. You broke down.

”Woah, hey, Fluttershy. Fluttershy it’s okay! I’m not seriously injured or anything, just a few bad scrapes, everything is fine! We just need to...”

“NO! It’s NOT!” You scream. Bad manners, very mean of you. But you don’t care.

You’ve already screwed everything else up, what’s the point in trying to redeem yourself now.

“I messed up! Okay! *sniff* I tried my best today to help you feel safe and comfy and all I did was hurt you and make you feel uncomfortable!”

This probably wasn’t the best look in front of an alien species, but you didn’t really care at this point. You began to question why you were there. “I’m a screw up! Okay! Nothing but a screw up!”

”*sigh* Fluttershy...”

“NO!”

”FLUTTERSHY!”

That made you stop. You looked up. Anon’s familiar somber expression looking down on you. He looked pained, probably from the wound you cause, probably from the discomfort. He knelled down toward you.

You flinched ready for what ever verbal assault he was going to give. Heck, even a physical one, you know you deserved it. Anon placed his hand on your head.

”Look at me Fluttershy.”

You peer over your leg and look him in the eyes.

”Look I know you and your friends were sent here to help me. Help make me feel welcomed and readjust me after my...situation. But I’m not completely helpless. Trust me on this.”

You picked your head up. Tears were still falling, but your lip stopped quivering.

“B-but I’m-”

”I know how you feel right now Fluttershy. You feel as though no matter how hard you try or what you do you can’t do anything right. Nothing works! Nothing seems to go how it’s supposed to and you feel helpless.”

You go to lower your head again but Anon stops you with a finger under your chin and lefts your head up to his eyes once more.

”But I know that everything you did was out of kindness. I know you didn’t mean to find my journal, I know you were just trying to help when it came to my arm, and I know you just wanted to show me your love

for animals.”

His lips form a small sad smile.

”Look, my life was never too great, even before, well, I was in the bad place. I’ve learned to, if not fully accept, then to expect bad things to happen to me from time to time. I know what it’s like to feel like a failure. I still do to be brutally honest with you. But know you didn’t fail at anything.”

You were more confused now than anything. What didn’t you fail at? All your plans failed.

“B-but, everything I tried just didn’t work!”

”Well, maybe your specific plans didn’t go like you wanted. But your goal was to make me feel comfortable and safe. And even if they were small, you still were able to do that. You gave me my privacy to shower, which with the guards keeping a close eye on me is hard to get sometimes. You helped change my dressings which made me feel cleaner, and took the pain away. And you brought me out here, walking through the gardens with you was the calmest I’ve felt in a long time Fluttershy.”

You were speechless. Here come the water works. But you weren’t sad. You were happy. You couldn’t even think on how those words affected you, but you knew they did. And you knew now that you really didn’t screw up. You were able to make Anon feel welcome and calm. Relieve his pain, and allow him some decency.

You jumped into his arms and began to sob again. Anon just placed a hand on your back and began to rub.

”It’s okay Flutters, it’s all okay.”

Those words made you sob harder. After a while your sobbing ceased and you broke the hug. Oh hay, his fingers are still bleeding right.

“Oh my goodness! Anon your hand!”

”Uh...yea, we should probably make our way back to the infirmary.”

“Of course come on, I know the way now. I promise we won’t get lost again.”

”Of course!”

You and Anon begin to make your way back to the infirmary. A new dedication filled your heart. You couldn’t think of a way this would end in failure. But if it seemed to, Anon gave you the confidence to be able to make him feel comfortable no matter what happens. It was night when you finally made it to the room. You were able to get Anon all patched up.

After that was all taken care of he and you had decided to discuss a little more about each other.

Nothing too personal, just similar interests. Something Twilight would be very appreciative of.

You lay yourself across your mattress.

Twilight looks over to you entering the room. ”Why don’t you tell me about your day with Anon Fluttershy? I want to hear all about it! Did ya learn anything new?”

Twilight levitated out her pen and notepad, ready to record anything of note. You position your self into a more comfortable position and pat the empty spot next to you.

“Sure, Twilight! Have a seat, I found out a few new things about him.”

She hoped onto the bed with a pomf.

”All right! Tell me everything you’ve learned!”

“Well, number one, don’t touch his journal, I wouldn’t even ask him about it. Number two, don’t bring up anything about his wounds.”

Twilight was visibly confused by this. ”What do you mean? I would’ve guessed the wounds part, he got them all from that ‘bad place’ he keeps saying he came from. He’s not exactly willing to say anything about that yet. But what journal? I don’t remember him ever having one.”

You shift a little nervously. You probably shouldn’t tell her about Anon cutting himself. He says he hasn’t done it since arriving and you only brought up the wound thing just in case so he wouldn’t have to explain it himself if they ever saw.

“Well, when I first went up to his room, he had a notebook with his name on it. When he caught me looking at it he threw it in a drawer and stood in front of it. He seemed real mad.”

Twilight stuck her tongue out in concentration as she scribbled all of this down.

”You weren’t going to read it were you?”

“Oh heavens no! I just didn’t see it when we first met him, so it caught my eye when I just went in.”

”Well, what else did you learn? Anything about him specifically?”

You nodded

”Great! Go on.”

“Well, he didn’t tell me everything I know, only some of it. I could just see the rest.”

”Still tell me, information is information.”

“All right. Anon is a very anxious creature. I can tell he had a very troubled life back home. Not just from what we know either. Probably his whole life. He mentioned that he felt like a failure, even here. He mentioned being very alone growing up. He wouldn’t tell me everything, but what I can gather, he never really had a friend. Maybe an acquaintance, but never someone he could depend on. I know now he likes music! He says he can play the piano and guitar. Although, when I asked him to demonstrate he declined, saying that he didn’t feel as though anything he knew was special. Oh Twilight, I feel so sorry for him, and thinking about how little info he’ll give out at a time is pretty infuriating.”

Twilight takes several seconds to scribble down all the major points you explained.

”Gosh Fluttershy, I knew he was probably still scared from his incident, but that all just sounds sad. Still though, this will help. We can use it to help us connect with Anon more. Is that everything?”

You nod and take a glance around.

“Where’s Pinkie? It’s getting rather late!”

Twilight giggles

”Oh don’t worry about her, she’s still prepping a little something for Anon, knowing Pinkie it’s probably a small party.”

A party? That made you uneasy. Anon already gave off the impression that he was very secretive and shut off person. And Pinkie wanted to throw him a party.

You remember her talking about having a special kind of party for introverts like Anon. It’s what gave Twilight the idea to split the job of helping him settle in into daily shifts in the first place. You hope she knew what she was doing.

You let your face make contact with your pillow and cover yourself with your blanket.

It was strange. You expected Anon to be some hostile monster or some rude bully at least knowing the stories they had here about humans. But he seems so sad and melancholic. His eyes were sunken in and tired, and he had a smaller frame than expected. He didn’t have the most confident voice either.

He was a little bit like you in that regard. You giggle to yourself in your head.

Now that’s funny. You never thought you’d be relating to a creature from a mythical species that’s known to be violent conquerors. With that thought in your head, you drift into a peaceful sleep.

~~~~