All Ends With Beginnings

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Today is finally the day you get to throw Nonny his very special party! Nonny is the cute nickname you gave him. Giving him a nickname will show him you are comfortable with him and such.

Oh you’re Pinkie Pie by the way! But you can just call yourself Pinkie. All you’re friends do!

You are hoping down the hall way to Anon’s room. Silly monkey should be up by now. Your friends have evidently been doing amazing things for Anon! Luna even mentioned Anon being able to sleep better! Hasn’t screamed himself awake since you and your friends showed up!

So many things to celebrate today! Anon’s arrival, Anon sleeping better, Anon finally meeting friends! Today is gonna be so much fun! Fluttershy even mentioned he can play music!

You wonder what kind of music Anon likes? Probably blues music because he’s always so blue.

You finally arrive at his door and give it some nice loud knocks.

If he wasn’t awake before he is now! You sit in front of the door and wait for a second. You can hear Anon in his room moving around. He open’s the door in a flash.

”Holy shit! What’s going on! Do you need me? Is something wrong?”

You giggle at this. Oh Nonny, such a joker.

“Hee hee! No silly, it’s just time for your extra special One on Fun Super Special Get to know Togethers! TM Aaaaand you finally get to spend the whole day with me!”

Anon just looks at you. Why does he look so confused? OH WAIT! You recognize that kind of face!

It’s the same silly ‘are you being serious face’ Rainbow would give you whenever she was being a stick in the mud and you wanted to have fun.

”Pinkie Pie, you were banging on my door like there was some emergency! Please, don’t do that!”

Ohhhh yeaaaaaa! Anon is still jumpy from that spooky dark place he was just in.

“Oof. I’m sorry Nonny! Let me make it up to ya’! It’s time for your party! Oh! Don’t worry, only you and me will be the attendants!”

”That...okay fine. Where is it?”

“In the ball room silly. Where else? Come on! I’ll show you where it is.”

You grab Anon by the arm and start leading him to the ball room.

Once there, you throw the door open and lead him in.

“TAA DAA! Well, what d’ya think?”

You stand by Anon, waiting for his response. He looks around the room taking in your handy work. No doubt shocked by how awesome it all is.

Streamers, balloons, a BUNCH of snacks, and a big cake!

You smile and inch closer to his face.

”It’s uhm...You really out did your self huh?”

You giggled.

“Nah silly, this is only a small party! Now come on, let’s eat!”

You put your party music on and dive head first into the cupcakes you’ve made. Oh Celestia they were good.

You hoof one to Anon.

“Come on try it!”

Anon took the pastry and inspected it. Turning it around in his hands, as if trying to figure out what to do with it.

Did he not know what a cupcake is?

“It’s a cupcake! You eat it silly. Like this.”

You take two cupcakes and shove them in your mouth. After some chewing and one big gulp you grin.

“See? Like that!”

...

He wasn’t eating it.

”I know what a cupcake is Pinkie. Sorry, I never liked sweet things to be honest with you.”

Blasphemy! No wonder Anon was always so gloomy. He never got to understand and appreciate the beauty of cupcakes! You put your hoof to your chin.

Hmmm. Sweets aren’t working, neither is the music.

AHA! Music! Anon plays music. Maybe it isn’t the music he likes? “Weeeeeell. If you aren’t hungry, why not play some music? I’m something of a musician my self dontcha know?”

Anon starts to decline but you weren’t about to let that stop you.

You kick the speaker out of the way and grab Anon by his hood, dragging him to the stage.

You sit him down, pat him on his head and grab one of the instruments Fluttershy said he could play. A guitar!

You hoof him it and sit down in a chair right across from him.

“Alright Nonny, play me some tunes!”

You grinned expectantly at him, then frown. He still appeared to be in shock, probably from how fast you moved him from across the room and into a chair.

Okay. Something is up.

“What’s wrong Anon? Don’t you enjoy playing music? Fluttershy told me...”

”No, Pinkie, it’s not that.”

Anon set the guitar down.

”It’s just, all of this is so unnecessary for me. It’s way too much at once.”

Did this man just say he doesn’t like parties?

”Please don’t be upset by this. I never really went to any parties back home, never had one since I was a little kid. I’m willing to give you a chance, but all of this is so...over the top.” He motions to the whole room.

He probably had a point. It’s clear to you now, you had it all wrong. He was different than most introverts you’ve dealt with. And just giving him a guitar and telling him to play wasn’t going to cut it either.

Something wayyyy smaller. Smaller than even this party, if that was possible!

Twilight and Fluttershy said no personal questions, but you had to find out WHAT it was that made Anon smile.

“In that case Anon, what makes YOU smile? What’s the ONE, or maybe even TWO things that gives you the biggest shiniest grin, and makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside?”

Your goal here was to get Anon out of his funk, make him laugh, find something he can find joy in. Anon sighed and looked up somewhere non specific, thinking about the answer to that question. He frowned

”Honestly? I couldn’t tell you Pinkie. There wasn’t much to be happy about back home. Even the music playing Fluttershy told you about was more of a...distraction than anything. The best I could feel when I was home was some peace at mind. Small distractions from the otherwise shitty situations I found my self in. They would put me at ease, but they didn’t make my problems go away.”

Dang, heavy stuff Sad stuff. You couldn’t cry though, you had a job to do, and dang it if you wouldn’t give it your all.

“Well, then give me some of those distractions. I’ll find some way to turn it from a distraction to something you can find smiles in!”

Anon pondered a minute.

”Well...”

…

It was now three hours later. You haven’t given up, you wanted to sometimes, you were even getting a little angry. Nothing seemed to be working. All of these “distractions” Anon talked about didn’t seem to be working.

At least the way you meant for them to be. You didn’t know what TV was, and video games sounded fun but you didn’t have anything that would match what Anon described. All the music you had, Anon didn’t groove to. All the jokes you had would at best get a light chuckle, and at worse a blank expression.

You tried drawing, nothing, played him some music yourself, and while he was impressed by all the instruments you could play at once, didn’t really make him smile. There must have been something you haven’t tried yet. Some thing you didn’t think of or do.

…

Alcohol? Humans loved alcohol from what you knew. But this was risky, you didn’t know the kind of drunk Anon was, he may be the violent kind, touchy feely kind, or, Celestia forbid, the depressed kind. Most likely the last one. Welp, you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.You turn to Anon, who, appeared as bored as yourself.

“Anon, I have an idea!”

Anon raises an eyebrow.

”Yea? What is it? More pin the tail on the pony?”

“Ha ha, no dummy, just wait here and I’ll be right back.”

You start to make your way to the door when Anon grabs your tail.

”Pinkie wait,”

You turn your head one hundred and eighty degrees. A talent that would make certain ponies cringe but it seemed Anon just stopped questioning things.

”I am thankful for every thing you’ve tried to do Pinkie, honestly I am. But trust me, you won’t find success in trying to make me any happier than I was before I got here. You’d be walking down the path a lot of doctors and professionals have and end up coming to the same conclusion, that what I go through can’t really be helped.”

What? Doctors? What’s this about doctors? You aren’t a doctor, you’re a party pony.

“Doctors? What do you mean Anon? Are you sick? GASP IS THAT WHY YOU’RE NOT HAPPY? Do you have some weird strain of pony pox?”

”I-What? No...*sigh* Pinkie.”

He lets go of your tail and gets down on one knee. The mood in the room has gotten a lot more serious. If he is so sick why hasn’t he told anypony?

You mean, yea he has wounds and bruises but you were told that was from the bad place. He was making it out that this was going on for a while?

“What’s wrong Anon? Tell me and I’ll help. We all will!”

Anon slid his hand down his cheek. Scratching at his 5 o’ clock shadow. He took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before letting it go. The air has been still for quite a minute now. The seconds seemed to be getting longer with each one that passes.

The faces he’s making looks like he’s still trying to come up with a way to tell you what exactly he means or how exactly he’s sick.

”Pinkie, since I’ve gotten here, there was a lot about me I didn’t want to be let known. Even now there is a lot I want to be kept a secret.”

You just nod, usually you’d interject to say something but you felt as though this was all too important for that.

”I’ve been keeping quiet from you all because, well, it’s rather hard for me to open up to people, especially those I’ve just met. I get the feeling that people will just not understand, or if they do understand, I’ll just end up making things worse. My life, my entire life, has not been a good one, but I’m sure you all could’ve guessed that by now.”

You didn’t want to listen to any of this. You wanted to make Anon laugh and smile. You wanted to show him a good time. A nice welcome to Equestria. This was all too sad and depressing.

Anon starts again, ”I honestly have no idea why you all keep doing this. I’m a strange alien in your world, from what I understand, my species has a more than slight negative image attached to it, not that it’s undeserved, and none of you have any obligation to try and help me. Despite that, all of you have tried to help me, and when ever I see you all get so tied up in how I’m doing, I feel as though I have to explain to you three or the princesses why what’s being done is hopeless or why they actually AREN’T failing in the attempts they make to better me.”

No obligation? You’re an element of harmony, it wasn’t just your job or duty, but purpose to make ponies laugh.“But we-”

He puts a finger to your lips and you stop talking.

”Pinkie, I won’t ask you or your friends to stop trying to help me. I tried that when we first met, I don’t want to bother you all with my problems, since I don’t think they can go away. However I do want to at least give you all the information I should’ve given you but didn’t because I thought it would be...too much.”

What does that mean? Too much what? You could feel your hair deflate. Did Anon seriously not want all of your help? But he keeps saying he appreciates the help!

Maybe it’s him?

He couldn’t possibly see himself THIS low!

”Pinkie...I’m not exactly the happiest person. The doctors I visited were psychiatrists and counselors. I took medicine for depression and anxiety for as long as I’ve been living on my own. Everything the doctors did and tried never helped me.

In fact one of their methods might have...well, I shouldn’t tell you that. But please understand, It’s not that I’m not grateful for what you’ve been trying. So far, you, Flutters, and Twilight have been the only three willing to be my friend for a long time. Having been alone for so long I really appreciate that. Just, please don’t beat yourselves up for not being able to fix me, it’s none of your faults. It may sound a little childish or ridiculous to put it this way but I’m just...broken.”

Broken?

He...broken?

Psychiatrists? Medicine for depression? Only three friends? Even the loneliest of ponies you knew weren’t entirely alone. Even cranky had his marefriend he was looking for. You’ve never heard of doctors giving ponies medicine for feeling depressed or anxious. Depression was a feeling not a germ. Did they also give medicine for feeling sad or angry? Maybe too happy?

And what was that one method he mentioned? Why wouldn’t he finish that part? Have so many really tried and failed no matter what they did? You couldn’t believe that, you didn’t, you wouldn’t. You understand what Fluttershy was telling you about Anon now. For being a failure. And now it was filling you with the same determination.

“Anon, you aren’t broken. And I’ll prove it to you! I don’t know when or how, but I will. Obviously this isn’t something that can be done in a single day. A lifetime of gloom and bad feelings will do that. But me and my friends...OUR friends, will help you!”

You give Anon a determined smile.

He returned the same sad smile as before and stood up.

”I really can’t convince you any other way huh?”

“NOPE!”

”Fine...you know what Pinkie? I think I want a cupcake.”

You squee, and rush over to the table full of treats. The rest of the night was just doing whatever you enjoyed doing, and Anon participating. This seemed to make him happy enough. He never laughed nor did he have a smile as big as even your smallest, but you could see that he was content enough to just witness you having fun. He never played his guitar.

By the time the sun finally went down, Anon decided that then was as good a time as any to rest. Who knew watching you break dancing would be so tiring!

When Anon left, you cleaned up the ballroom, which was easier to do than set it up, and retired to your own suite.

Both Twilight and Fluttershy were in there chatting to themselves in front of...is that a blackboard?

Twilight noticed you walked in and greeted you.

”Ah! Pinkie pie! We were just in the middle of planning how to help Anon! How was your day with him?”

“It was rough in the beginning, but I was able to find a way for him to enjoy the party I had planned!”

”That’s great! You and Fluttershy have been making leaps and bounds with him progress wise, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna especially have been thankful, seeing as we’ve been able to cut down on the severity of his nightmares!”

Fluttershy smiled and added her own words.

”I’m really happy we’ve been able to help so far. I just wish he’d open up to us more!”

Twilight nodded in agreement with her statement.

”Oh! Speaking of which, Pinkie! Have you learned anything new about Anonymous today?”

You shuffled a bit. You knew you had to tell them, heck you were expecting this to be the first thing you and your friends spoke about. But everything Anon said to you? It made a lot of sense, but it was a lot heavier than what you three thought you were previously dealing with.

The fact that there was a lot more going on in Anon’s life than just coming out of that horrible place.

You clear your throat and begin explaining everything you know.

“Well guys, I think we’re dealing with something a lot worse than we thought. And I mean, super duper MEGA worse! When Anon told me, it made a whole lotta sense, but thinking about it just makes me wanna throw him a pity party.”

Twilight and Flutters look at each other and then back to you, worry visible in their eyes.

”That sounds horrible Pinkie, what does that all mean?”

You scratch the ground before answering.

”Twilight? Can you really go to the doctor and take medicine for feeling sad and gloomy all the time?”

Your purple friend cringed at this question.

”Pinkie, is that what Anon told you? Buck me, no wonder he’s been so closed off. Other than taking medicine for depression, what else has he told you?”

Well, that confirmed your answer, but that left having to explain the rest of what Anon told you.

“Nonny told me that, while he appreciated all of us doing this for him, he said that we’d might as well not bother, since those doctors and medicine couldn’t help him. He said he was...broken.”

Twilight’s cringe seemed to worsen at the last word there. Fluttershy seemed to find the floor very interesting, her hair covering her eyes.

”All of that actually makes a lot of sense.” Your butter colored friend spoke up.

You and Twi turn your attention to her.

”You two remember when I asked you not to ask Anon about his wounds? Well, turns out when I was changing his gauze, I found out he used to hurt himself...a lot.”

...

WHAT!!! ANON HURT HIMSELF? ON PURPOSE!?

Your hair deflated, an audible noise akin to a balloon losing air accompanying it.

Twilight seemed just as taken a back.

”By the maker. First we learn Anon arrived here from a very awful place, now it turns out his whole life was a mess! No wonder he’s been having so many nightmares, and why he hasn’t been opening up to us! We HAVE to find out what happened! Buck the schedule, all of us are meeting with Anon tomorrow and getting to the bottom of this. We can’t let him stay like this.”

“But Twilight!”

You interject

“Anon told us twice now that we shouldn’t bother! He even told me the only reason he told us ANYTHING in the first place was because he felt like he had to, otherwise we’d keep getting angry over problems all his doctors failed to solve anyways!”

”I agree, Anon is very delicate with these things, we should continue to go slow!”

Fluttershy says this while putting a hoof over Twi’s shoulder.

Twilight sighs.

”We can’t just let him stay like this though. We need to do something!”

The night dragged on with discussing how to help Anon, now you all knew how bad of a situation he was really in. A perfect plan couldn’t be brought up. You all decided to meet with him together tomorrow. You had trouble getting to sleep that night.

You couldn’t help but feel anxious, like something bad was about to happen...you just didn’t know what.

~~~~