A Talk In The Night

Twilight Sparkle observed the bipedal being as she sat on the floor near the corner of the room, a book at her side. Moonlight shone in through the window, to which Ascentia's gaze was focused on. If she was aware of Twilight's presence, she didn't show it. The only movement was when she was biting her lip slightly, then placing her hand over the book, drawing it onto her lap.

Taking the time to approach, the unicorn then sat beside her. Ascentia glanced at her at the corner of her eye, giving a nod in acknowledgement of her presence.

“Um, hey,” Twilight offered, lamely.

Ascentia didn't reply for a moment, but eventually turned her gaze toward the lavender mare slightly, “Twilight. What brings you here? It's late. I figured you would be sleeping.”

“...I couldn't sleep,” Twilight admitted, nervously pawing at the floor with her hoof. “My mind is too wired and frazzled. I just couldn't relax.”

“I see,” Ascentia looked away again, staring straight ahead, “I suppose times like these would render sleepless nights. But you do need your rest.”

“Ascentia...” Twilight said then, ignoring her statement for the moment.

“Yes?” The Val'Kyr looked at her again. “What is it?”

“I'm not sure what to do.”

“About what?”

“This, all of this,” Twilight gestured her foreleg around the room in all directions for emphasis, “Usually I'm the kind of pony who has answers to anything. Or if I don't, I can easily refer to a book or know somepony who would. But right now, I just don't know. I don't know if what I can do is enough to save Equestria.”

Ascentia was quiet for a few moments, but her gaze fixated on Twilight. After a moment or two, she spoke up again, “You're afraid, Twilight. The fear and uncertainty of everything is catching up to you.”

“I'm sorry,” Twilight looked down at the floor, but decided avoiding her gaze wasn't going to do her any good. She looked up at Ascentia, meeting the dull grey eyes of the Val'Kyr.

“You're beginning to sound like the yellow one...Fluttershy,” Ascentia told her, a tint of amusement in her voice. “There's no need to apologize. Everyone gets scared. I'm not surprised that you feel scared and uncertain.”

Twilight sighed, unsure of admitting some of the real reasons she was scared.

A hand was placed on her head, gently stroking her mane. Twilight looked up again, seeing Ascentia's gaze bearing into hers. A hint of a smile was quirking at her lips, but otherwise remained stoic.

“A lot is at stake, the entire world as you know it will fall.”

“That's just it! Equestria is doomed, it's all happening too fast! One little mistake and it's over! What if I don't know enough? What if I'm not strong enough? What if I can't do it? Not even the Elements of Harmony can do anything!” Twilight covered her face with her hooves. Tears were threatening to pool in her eyes, but she held them back. She could not let Ascentia see her cry. Not like this.

No sound was uttered, Twilight could see and feel nothing. All she could feel was Ascentia's hand gently brushing through her mane. It was the only way she even knew that she was still there.

“And here I thought going against Nightmare Moon, Discord and Queen Chrysalis were bad enough...” Twilight mumbled, lowering her hooves to the floor. “Eternal Night...a world of Chaos and Disharmony, overtaken by Changelings...what jokes. At least there, Equestria would still be standing.”

“There were many worlds in which catastrophes such as those led to their downfall,” Ascentia pointed out.

“I guess,” Twilight sighed, looking out the window this time, “Frankly, I'd rather go back to having a panic attack over being tardy.”

Silence befall the two of them as they sat there in the dimly lit room, with the only sounds heard being their breathing. Eventually, Ascentia looked down at Twilight once more, rousing her attention by gently patting her head.

“You mean that tale of when you lost your mind, performed a spell on a childhood plaything, caused a ruckus in the entire town as they fought over it, leading your Princess to intervene?” Came Ascentia's knowing response, having heard this story before.

Laughing humourlessly, Twilight nodded, angling her head into Ascentia's hand a bit more, “Yeah, THAT story.”

“Hmm,” Ascentia responded, looking down at her again, “Anyone in your situation would think back to more mundane problems, big as they may have been at the time, to be a far better option.”

“Have...you ever felt that way?”

Having expected the Val'Kyr to shrug it off or even simply say she didn't, Twilight was taken aback when she saw Ascentia's normally dull gray eyes actually go wide with mild surprise. She did, however, revert to her calm, stoic demeanour moments later before she turned her gaze to the window.

“No one has asked me that for a long time,” Ascentia admitted, “And it certainly isn't a question I can easily answer.”

Twilight nodded a little, “You've been around for a long time, I guess it'd be hard to pinpoint something like that, wouldn't it?”

Thinking a few moments, Ascentia shook her head, “Not exactly. I can remember many things from my past, despite how much I have seen and experienced.”

“Can you...think of one?”

Silent, Twilight could see Ascentia's eyes narrow in contemplation. It was some moments later that she responded, “I suppose I could. When I was but a child, I had once broken a priceless artifact of my kind. I had been practicing a technique I had learned, but I overestimated my strength, and I ended up breaking the artifact in the process.”

“Well, to be fair, it was an accident, wasn't it?” Twilight offered.

Ascentia looked at her again, her lips quirking, “Not entirely. I cannot say that I had intended to break it, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have been more careful. As well as that, I really shouldn't have practiced with priceless artifacts in the room I was in.”

The unicorn thought of that for a few moments. Indeed, things could happen even if you didn't intend for them to. She tried then, to picture this woman beside her as a little child, the bipedal equivalent to a filly, practicing her abilities and then breaking something in the process. It was almost amusing to think of, to be sure, given how much of a being that Ascentia was. To imagine her experiencing something so, well, normal, was pretty humbling to Twilight. Almost kind of the same way a child soon realizes that their parents are not the all-knowing and powerful beings, but are average ponies just like everypony else.

Twilight exhaled, leaning against Ascentia a little. The hand on her head eventually trailed down her back, holding her, and occasionally patting her coat gently.

“I wonder how many books or things I broke when I was practicing magic as a filly,” Twilight mused.

“We all make mistakes as we practice new things,” Ascentia said softly, “But it's part of how we grow. Not just in learning techniques or magic, but in life as well. Staying alive for however long isn't how we learn. It's what we gain from our experiences.”

Glancing up toward her, Twilight's purple eyes met straight with Ascentia's, as the two gazed upon each other for a few moments. Ascentia's lips quirked slightly then, smiling ever so slightly.

“I'm certain you must have learned a lot, Twilight. You speak of many experiences that I can see has kept with you,” she said, reaching up to stroke her mane again.

“It's kind of hard to forget life-changing experiences,” Twilight mused, shaking her head a bit. “I think the explosion of the Sonic Rainboom when I was just a filly was only the start.”

A murmur of agreement was heard from the Val'Kyr, but she said nothing more. Twilight also fell into silence while her mind was jumbled, as it always seemed to be. Loaded with knowledge of various subjects, magical techniques, memories, and especially with her worries and strategies for the upcoming dangers. She felt restless, with sleep evading her all the more, if it hadn't already done so earlier.

The room fell quiet, with no sound to be heard. Even the usual, soothing sounds of the night beyond the window were hushed. Luna's moon, once prospering beautifully within the dark sky only now seemed dulled and lifeless. Simply just existing as it usually did.

“You know,” Ascentia spoke up, breaking the silence in the room, “In all of my years of having been a Val'Kyr, I would never have expected such feats to come upon me or my kind.”

Twilight glanced at her, curious as to where she was going with this.

“To be here, on this planet, with lifeforms such as yourselves,” she went on, returning her gaze to the unicorn once again, “It's fascinating.”

A little smile came to Twilight's lips, “I read of that a lot in stories, if I even choose to read a fictional story. Whenever there's a story about a character who ends up in some different place, in or out of their world, they do say that kind of thing.”

“Yes,” Ascentia responded, “I have seen such moments, and have experienced many of them for myself. Most would think that because I-”

“Have been around so long and saw so many things, that nothing would impress you?” Twilight cut in, a little too overzealous to let that slip. She sat back, sheepish, realizing her mistake. “Sorry, what were you going to say?”

Ascentia chuckled slightly with amusement before speaking up again, “That is precisely what I meant. It is true that there are many things that do not phase me. When you have seen a lot of things, they do not have the same effect on you. Especially when you are seeing the very same things numerous times. Think of it this way. A meal you really like, anything.”

“Um...” Twilight bit her lip, trying to think of one. It was never easy to answer some of the standard questions about something that was a favourite. “I don't know...a daisy sandwich!”

“All right. Say you have a daisy sandwich every day, for the rest of your life. Not necessarily anything but, you just simply include it in your daily diet. Now, as much as you love the sandwich, you will want something different. Another kind of sandwich, or, even a different meal in general. A part of why we enjoy something is because we often have to wait for it. Then, it will be gone. In many places, species have events, holidays, that kind of thing. Something exciting to look forward to.”

“Oh!” Twilight could see where this was going. “Kind of like the Summer Sun Festival, or Hearth's Warming Eve?”

“In your world, yes,” Ascentia nodded. She stood up then, stretching her limbs within her armor, then walked over to the window. Turning her head to look over her shoulder, she gestured for Twilight to join her.

Twilight stood, heading over to stand beside Ascentia. The Val'Kyr brought her hand to her head, then rested it on her shoulder. When she looked up at the bipedal creature, Twilight observed that Ascentia was gazing out to the vast open expanse of the ground outside, and far beyond, toward the horizon.

“Imagine if...this Hearth's Warming Eve were every day. Would it not get very dull?”

Hearing a question such as this was nothing new, especially not for Twilight. Given the circumstances, however, she could see where this was going. It was amazing to imagine, living for so long, that you end up seeing so much, even multiple times. It was no wonder many ponies craved adventure or even just something different in their day-to-day life. Doing the very same thing, day after day, year after year, did soon lose the charm it once had.

A lot of fillies and colts alike did indeed express the joy of having Hearth's Warming Eve to happen every day. Why wouldn't they? It was a wondrous occasion alongside the historical back story of the founding of Equestria. These days, it meant one very thing to the children that they adored most. Fun, time off from school, and all kinds of new toys.

What they never quite realized, was that the holiday would very soon lose its charm if it happened every day.

“It would get pretty boring after a while,” Twilight mused, shaking her head, “Part of why it's a great holiday is because it only comes once a year.”

Looking up again into the dull, thoughtful gray eyes of the woman before her, Twilight wondered yet again just what she was thinking about. Where in the world was a mind-reading spell when you needed one?

“We appreciate many things because, as I had said, we anticipate them. They will soon be gone, which in turn results in having to appreciate them while we can,” Ascentia said, her voice lowering an octave. Her glance turned down to the unicorn beside her as she continued to gently run her hand along her mane yet again.

“Yeah,” Twilight shuffled her hooves a little bit, biting her lip. She wondered then, just where was she going with this? Aside from the obvious factors at hoof, to be sure. “I guess living a long time really is a blessing yet a curse, isn't it?”

“More of a curse, I think,” Ascentia responded, her eyes narrowing, “I'm certain you know many stories.”

“What do you mean?”

“Twilight, think about your friends for a moment. All life does come to an end one day. But if you were to live far longer than....” the Val'Kyr paused, looking contemplative.

“Anypony?” Twilight offered.

“...Yes,” Ascentia mildly shrugged, “I'm certain your Princess can attest to that.”

“She's lived for over a thousand years,” Twilight mused, “I think it'd be hard to make friends, watch them grow, and then have them die one day, while you're still going.”

“Mm,” the woman lowered her gaze for a moment, “It is why, as I'm certain you know, to live long while others around you do not.”

The very thought of living long, outliving her friends and her family, it stung Twilight to the core. Outliving them naturally or due to accidents was one thing, but to have to go through that for the remainder of your days? She wasn't so sure she envied Ascentia then, or even the Princesses.

Twilight could barely imagine, seeing all of her friends die, only for her to live on. And for the process to repeat itself for many, many years to come.

Flashes of her friends, all of them, came to her mind then. Twilight tried to fight back tears, but it was failing. It felt as if she was only discovering her friends, how much they meant to her. Though it had been fifteen years since she met them and even parted ways with all but Fluttershy, the memories of the “old days” remained fresh in her mind.

First meeting all of them, that entire awkward phase of trying to get through the day while interacting with new ponies in a new town. Traversing with them through the Everfree Forest to seek the Elements of Harmony, only to find that the elements were with them all along. Twilight would never forget her discoveries of them, the very moment that she knew of where the elements lay.

Ever since, she had been so happy to call them her friends. She loved them all so much, and she missed them. Terribly.

'What I wouldn't give to relive those days...' Twilight thought. She slowly trudged over to sit where she had originally been, unable to look outside any longer. The memories pained her, bringing more tears to her eyes. But she could not let Ascentia see her cry.

Not like this. What she needed was strength and knowledge, she needed a warrior. The last thing she needed was an emotional unicorn desperately hoping this entire debacle was just a bad dream she would soon be awakening from.

It was all too much. Twilight knew, all too well, that the risks were heavy. They could all die out there. She would never see her friends ever again. Never would she live those peaceful, wonderful days back in Ponyville, at the library, with Spike by her side. Going out into town, heading to Sugarcube Corner to see Pinkie Pie, the aromas of her wonderful baked goods wafting to her nostrils. Looking up to the sky and seeing Rainbow Dash either napping on a cloud or performing her daring tricks with passion and precision. Then there was Sweet Apple Acres, where Applejack worked as hard as she possibly could, bucking those apple trees like nopony's business. Rarity, always graceful and hard working at her designs, would be running her boutique like the ever-bustling businessmare she was.

All of those days were now long gone. With nothing but the memories remaining.

Twilight, lost in her memories, didn't even realize that she was beginning to sob. She jumped, slightly startled when she felt Ascentia's hand gently touch her shoulder.

“Twilight, you're crying,” Ascentia said, her voice soft. Despite her remark of stating the obvious, there was concern laced in her tone.

A sniffle escaped the unicorn as she raised her hoof to wipe her eyes. “I'm fine.”

Sighing, Ascentia came around the pony and kneeled down in front of her. “No, you're not. Don't play that game with me. I know better. What's wrong?”

“I...” Twilight looked up into the woman's eyes, which gazed back into her own. Though her face remained stoic, there was a glint in those dulled gray eyes of hers. “I just...”

“You what?” Ascentia pressed, raising her hand to stroke her mane.

“I just... I miss my friends. We've all gone our separate ways, except Fluttershy, and I've accepted that a long time ago. But I still miss them so much. And Pinkie's dead...I'll never see her again. Just, knowing that still hurts,” Twilight sniffled, looking down to hide her tears. “I just want things to be normal again. But now I have all of this on my shoulders and sometimes I just don't know what to do! If my friends were here, I'd feel so much better. I love them so much, and I miss them. They could die out there, we all could, and I would have let down everypony...and all of Equestria. I want things to be the way they used to! I just want my friends back! I want to be back in Ponyville again! ...Is that too much to ask?”

Another silence befell the two, except for Twilight's soft sniffles and sobs. Ascentia said nothing, but her hand remained on Twilight's shoulder, where she gently squeezed. After a few moments, she felt the woman's other hand gently lift up her chin to meet her gaze.

“Twilight, all lives and worlds must eventually end. All good things must end,” Ascentia said in a soft tone, “But I understand that you're feeling this way.”

“I'm sorry, it's just...I know you need me to be strong. And I'm trying to be. But it's just hard,” Twilight managed, wiping her eyes again.

Ascentia shook her head, “Twilight...being strong, or being brave, isn't just about facing up to the dangers and opponents in our way. Or...as some would put it, fighting 'bad guys'. We're all weak in some ways. But we must acknowledge these weaknesses, these hindrances, in order to grow stronger. Just the same as how failures help us to grow.”

Sniffling, Twilight nodded, duly noting that.

“Missing your friends, fearing for the safety of others, and the entire world, while it may drive most to madness...” Ascentia looked up toward the outside sky for a moment. “It is still a part of what motivates our efforts, our goals.”

“I understand...” Twilight looked up at her tearfully, “And I don't want anything to happen to you, either.”

Ascentia's eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“I just....I know this sounds crazy, and I don't expect you to...well, see it this way, but I know I do. You're...you're also my friend, Ascentia,” Twilight admitted, looking her in the eye, “I don't want to let you down and I hope you'll be okay in all of this.”

For a moment, Ascentia looked stricken. She then sighed, returning to her usual stoic demeanour. “Twilight...I will die eventually. Even I as a Val'Kyr will not live forever. Strong as I am, I am not invincible nor indestructible.”

“....I know...” Twilight sniffled, nodding. “And I know you probably don't think of me as a friend, and that's okay. I'm not asking you too. I just...want you to know that you're my friend and I care about you a lot. I just...you know...if you were a pony...a normal pony like all of us... We...really could have been friends,” she smiled a bit at the thought.

A few moments passed, and then a small smile quirked at Ascentia's lips, “I see. That's a very nice thought, Twilight.”

The unicorn looked down again, trying to compose herself as best as she could. But more tears were falling from her eyes, blurring her vision. Reassured as she might have felt, her heart continued to feel heavy, her muscles weak, and her entire form as if about to collapse.

While they may have had more of an understanding alliance than a real friendship, it didn't stop Twilight from fondly thinking of Ascentia in that way. She appreciated her company, her skills, her philosophies and interesting takes on matters. To say the least, she was by far the most fascinating friend she ever had in her life. She cared about her and hoped that she too would make it out of this all right. While even that was uncertain, just as everything else in the future was, she did still hold that ray of hope. Already they'd been through quite a lot, and Twilight just simply couldn't imagine her life without her. What with the impact she had made on her, it was no wonder.

If they were just regular ponies together, the unicorn could surely see that they would be very good friends. Days like those, however, were not only lost, but could never be.

She felt a start when Ascentia brought her arms around her. Twilight went frigid, surprised at the sudden contact like this. She was no stranger to hugging anypony, that much was certain, but Ascentia? It almost seemed out of character of her, and yet, this was really happening.

After a moment, the distraught unicorn settled into the woman's embrace and even returned it, bringing her forelegs around her torso.

“You can cry if you need to, Twilight,” Ascentia spoke, stroking her mane comfortingly, “I can tell you must not have had a good cry in a long time.”

Strange as it was, Ascentia felt pretty warm. While her scent was more rough, musky and even downright weird, Twilight didn't care. The comfort of her embrace and warmth were all she needed. She began to sob, very quietly, as she let it all out. Everything. Her fears, her worry, how much she missed her friends, how much she missed the old days, her uncertainty for the future of Equestria, her anger, her sadness, all of it.

Ascentia didn't do nor say anything. She just held her, occasionally stroking her mane or her back. For the time being, it was all Twilight needed. Letting it all out was relieving, liberating even. It had been a long time since Twilight ever truly sat down and allowed herself to truly cry like this. She wasn't even sure how long it had been since she last shed a few tears, even.

In these dark times, what with the impending doomsday, it was no wonder she needed it.

“...Thanks, Ascentia,”

“Don't mention it.”

A few more minutes of her silent crying passed before Twilight just about exhausted herself. Ascentia had released her, sitting back against the wall, and allowed Twilight to lay her head on her lap.

“Go to sleep, Twilight. I'll wake you in the morning.”

Nodding, Twilight settled and managed to relax. She could feel Ascentia's hand stroking her mane again, which felt all the more comforting and relaxing to the unicorn, who closed her eyes upon letting sleep slowly overtake her.

In doing so, she could hear Ascentia whisper to her just soon before slipping into a dreamlike state of sleep.

“...You're my friend too, Twilight.”