All Roads Lead Home

Prologue:
Life, Death, & Other Trivial Matters

“Truth doesn’t exist in itself, it lies in its method.”
~ Andry Tarkovsky

The sound of grinding metal, gunfire and howls were everywhere. Screams muffled, unintelligible, yet still pleading for attention. It was like fireworks that never finished. Always another bang. Another pop. Ringing that drowned out the world, an endless swamp below the blue of an unfamiliar– almost alien– sky. The last thing I would see as hooves dragged me into the mud. It didn’t matter how much I struggled, I only sank more. Until my vision went… until my back broke… until my so–

======= ☢ =======

“Wait!”

The words choked me before my eyes shot open. My coat was drenched in sweat and tears I quickly wiped away. Luckily, I didn’t wake the others in the room. Honey Tea was snuggled deep into Gage’s massive feathery chest, trying her best not to stab him with her horn. Blitz, the little purple pegasus, was still snoring as loud as ever wrapped around a nearby stool’s legs. But no sign of Silver, he must have been keeping watch.

I rolled off the table to grab my rifle that was leaning against Gage’s power armor in the pile of our stuff. The way the bland crimson light slipped through the boarded windows and cracks made it impossible to tell if it was dawn or twilight. I creeped out of the room, hoping it was dawn.

Honestly, the house was pretty shitty. Even with the radiation saturation, peeling, and water damage, whoever chose the beige wallpaper did more harm to the home than the decay. Every room, door missing or broken, had this same bland color as I passed each one through the hallway to climb the stairs to the roof. Well… the new roof, since the actual one was gone and only the second floor remained. I rested my rifle on a nearby pile of bricks and sat down to watch the morning rays punch out from behind the horizon to lightly silhouette the Canterlot mountain, the other buildings– just as forgotten as this one–, and the nearby mining shaft. Then the clouds tightened their grip above, preventing the Infinite from warmly embracing the hearth of the Earth. You could almost forget the wasteland from there. So, I tried to. I tried to close my eyes and forget.

With one deep breath in…

“I’m sorry to annoy you, but I can’t sleep. How many times have you heard that before? Well… umm… don’t worry, you don’t need to answer. I-I just wan– needed to talk.”

And with one breath out…

“That dream… It's the same one. Noise. Just cosmic noise, trying to scream something I can’t understand. Am I broken? Do you think I’m broken?” I spat out over my next breath. Only the wind responded with cold fireworks on my coat. “Okay, okay! I’ll stop with those thoughts, or at least try to. But the swamp… What does the Infinite mean by the swamp? I need you to tell me.”

“Well, we tried.”

I opened my eyes as Silver Tongue plopped down next to me while running a hoof through his silver mane.

“You need to sleep.” He sighed.

“I know. Just not my thing.”

“So brooding,” Silver snickered. “Wildcard, we had Blitz drug you this time. How the hell did you wake up?”

“How would I know?”

“Because you only pray when it gets really bad.”

I tightened my brow.

“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind. I heard mo—“

“It’s fine.” I cut him off.

Silver awkwardly shifted on his hooves. “So, you want to talk about— that is, if you want to, of course!”

“Chill out,” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I thought you were an atheist?”

“Ehhh… I’m still working that one out. It’s a— it’s a little touchy.” It was physically hard to watch Silver Tongue try to wrap himself tighter in that tainted button shirt. He never washed it. He never changed out of it. It was as much a part of him as my rifle was to me.

I had to say something, anything. That's what I would usually do. Dodge the topic to make sure that dapple-grey pony didn’t cry. He’s already had enough scars for countless lifetimes. Surprisingly, he beat me to the punch.

“Do you… do you think my mom’s up there?” Silver barely mustered the words through his whimpers.

“I do,” I didn’t hesitate. “She’s with the Infinite.”

“What do you mean by that anyways?”

“The Infinite?” He nodded to my question. “Oh, it’s the universe itself. The Great Spirit that watches over all of us.”

He smiled. “That sounds nice.”

“Yeah, it is.” I whispered to only myself.

“Have they said anything today?”

“No,” I sighed. “They’ve been silent as always.”

Silver leaned in. “So, what’s with the self induced insomnia? It’s gotten worse since Canterlot.”

“I don’t know…”

“That’s a problem we can fix. Let’s start with your nightmares. What are they about?”

I looked away. “I’d rather not, to be honest.”

“Come on, it’ll make you feel better!”

“I said no.”

“Wildcard jus—“

“No!”

Silver recoiled back at my outburst. Immediately my head was banging to keep pushing my point, because I knew he’d keep asking. My heart was trying to spin another story, but was drowned out by my mind. “What part of ‘no’ don’t you get? I don’t wanna talk about it! Okay?”

He nodded before slowly sitting back up straight. It was a helluva way for me to make a thick air of silence between us. Good going, me!

“Sorry, just—“

“No, no. It’s my fault,” Silver Tongue practically threw himself into my blame. “I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“But—“

“Leave it.” He cut me off.

“So,” I rolled the word on my tongue. “What now?”

“Well, we could make some breakfast and go over the documents we got.”

“You know what? Sure.”

He got up and led me back inside. “Cool.”

Silver Tongue already had the sealed documents on the soiled kitchen island when I walked in, resting my gun on the fridge. He was focusing on lighting the two hundred year old pilot light with a match– personally, though, I would say praying, if he didn’t whinny and jump a little bit in joy when flames finally bursted out. He placed a pot from his saddlebags on the stove before frowning as I pulled out a really squashed loaf of bread.

“We’re not eating that.”

“Why not? It’s just bread.” I raised a brow.

He swiped the loaf and turned it over. “Yeah, bread with more mold than slavers in the wastes!”

“You can just remove those parts,” I took the loaf back and began cutting out the greening spots. “Can’t be really wasteful, can we?”

“And if someone gets sick?”

“We’ll deal with it. We always do.” I retorted firmly.

Silver shook his head with a loud groan, returning to prepare the coffee beans.

I couldn’t stop glancing at the cover document; the half-apple, flanked by crescent wings on either side, over three spinning gears wrapped around a sword. No, it wasn’t the extremely colored history of the ministry that bothered me enough to want to rip the whole thing in half and burn it to ash. It was the little stamp under the supertext, ‘Dragon’s Den’.

A quill, encircled by twin olive branch bushels.

I put the bread aside and grabbed the document. That stamp bugged me when we found it, I had to know so opened it. What was inside… Well, I guess I already knew. Much to my own dismay.

Clearance level: Eclipse

MoWT SM1 | SG SM1 | Eclipse

It has recently come to our attention that we can no longer trust members of the ministries, including the head mares themselves. Thus I ———, and other members deemed vital for the continuation of Equestria and her goal, have elected to create a level of secrecy even above Top Secret: Eclipse. Projects and files listed under Eclipse are deemed dangerous, not only to ponykind, but the war effort itself. It is a precedent we must uphold that only three ponies are allowed to know the purpose of said documents. Anypony else must be terminated immediately.

In recent years, the position of Stalliongrad has always been a troubling game piece for Equestria and the Zebra menace due to the autonomous city’s aggressive neutrality. Luckily we have ———— by ————— gifting —— stables. Thus, the creation of the Dragon’s Den has come to fruition. In order to protect the deal from prying third parties, this is but one of two documents focused on the purpose of such a site. The Dragon’s Den is a ——— facility focused on the creation of new ———, ———, ———, and megaspells. It also doubles as Equestria’s northernmost launch site, should the need arise.

Although Stalliongrad is currently sliding more towards Equestria’s interests, it cannot be understated the loyalty the city has to its people, regardless of race. ——— must be placed ——— and in ——— positions to ensure the loyalty of them to us. If the deal or location is discovered, ———— ———— ————.

I scanned through the rest of the pages filled with more black inky censor bars than white space. Only a few thoughts could break through the shroud of pure disgust in my head. Why? Why home? Is that Infinite trying to mock me? I was a jester on strings. What a bitch.

“Please don’t tell me it was all in vain,” Silver Tongue slid me a steaming cup as I closed the document. “Your expression worries me.”

“Umm… ugh. There’s absolutely no way we’re doing that.”

He was puzzled. “Wildcard?”

“What lines are you willing to draw?” I slid over the document. Silver took a moment to read through the lines the best he could. When he didn’t grimace but smiled, my heart sank.

“This… this is it.” All the exhaustion in his voice vanished.

“No, it isn’t. That’s a horrible fucking idea.”

“And you got a better one?”

“Not right now,” I sighed. “But anything is better than this!”

“We’re killing slavers. What is there to discuss?”

“We’ll be tossing away the good as well; just like moldy bread.”

He frowned. “You seriously brought that back up?”

“It’s a great example.”

“Then I’ll do you one better,” Silver cleared his throat and turned to reveal long, twisting scars covering his back, scowling at me. “When I was a colt, my mother told me a story. About a slave who hoped to one day be free of the chains that bound him. That pony was given the opportunity to escape, but hoofsteps away from the exit, another pony, just like him, begged for freedom. He contemplated the choice presented to him: he could save one, or find another way to save more.”

He sighed before continuing. “That fool chose to save the other pony, and was caught in the process. Both slaves' heads hung from spikes the next day. A reminder to others who had been blackbirded of the punishment of disobedience.”

“So, you just want revenge?”

“No. Justice.” He shook his head. “The point of the story is to save as many as possible. Think about it. A megaspell launch site; a working one, at that! Look, maybe it’s a little different from where you came from, but trust me. I doubt a single one of those slaves wouldn’t be fine with giving their lives to off Red Eye and his gang.”

Silver turned around to refill his mug. “Or am I wrong?”

“Maybe, but at this point you’re sounding like a spritebot.”

The rattle of metallic spurs echoed in the halls. No need to guess on who woke up first.

“Morning, Gage.” Silver Tongue and I said in unison.

The large griffin walked into the room, yawning. His ruby-toned face with its tan feather accents were pulled into neat little grooves. Gage tightened his messy crest feathers back into a small bun and poured some coffee into one of the many different clean– ostensibly– cups on the counter. He spat out his first sip onto the ruined, checkered linoleum. “Where the fuck you find this shit?”

“I found it in some Raider’s stash, like,” I rocked my head from side to side, trying my best to recall the memory through the thick fog in my head, “I don’t know, about a week ago?”

Gage stared down into his drink before taking another sip. He cringed and sputtered; the feathers around his face ruffled. I don’t know why he’d expect to get a different taste the second time around.

“I heard y’all from down the hall. So what’s going on?”

“Well,” Silver snickered at the question for a second before gesturing at the document. “Read all about it.”

Gage hummed going through the pages. “Sounds like it’ll work.”

Silver Tongue’s eyes lit up.

“What?!” I smashed my mug on the counter, sending coffee flying. Silver Tongue dodged the brown cascade in time, but Gage wasn’t as lucky.

“What the fuck, Wildcard?!” The griffon flicked his, now soaked, feathers at me.

“Sorry.” I tossed a rag from the tabletop to him and let out a loud exhale. “How the fuck can you agree with him? D-does this not sound insane to you.”

“Well, I don’t see any major downsides to destroying evil for the sake of the rest of the wasteland. You and Blitz are the only ones who ever seem to complain about the smallest details of… everything.”

“It’s because they matter,” I softened my tone. “If we level that city we lose lives, progress, and infrastructure. That doesn’t even add the fact we’re resurrecting the ghost of balefire’s past. Folks will be living under the fear of annihilation again! What stops them— or anyone actually— from taking the Dragon’s Den from us? What if we—“

“Maybe that’s exactly what they need. Somepony to tell them to play nice or be punished.” Silver cut me off.

“You sound just like him.”

He groaned. “You can insult me all you want, but until today you were all for saving the wasteland! What changed?”

“Home,” The answer caught both of them off guard, judging by the look of shock they wore so well. “It’s too close to home.”

It felt like that room of peeling, faded wallpaper and rotting wood was caught in conflict for a second time. Must be strange to relive it, after two hundred-something years.

“Is Wildcard being a bitch again?” A voice rang out from the doorway. “Want me to shoot him?”

“I’d like to see you try, Honey,” I retorted.

Honey entered the kitchen with a large grin from ear to ear and skipped towards the counter. She was tailed by a weary golden-eyed pegasus. He practically dragged his hooves on his way to the mugs.

“You good, Blitz? Or do you need a boot up your ass?” Gage teased.

“Fuck off, ya’ big flying rat.” he mumbled in a barely coherent voice. “Cof....fee…”

He clamped a cup between his hooves and, eyes closed, tipped the rim into his mouth. Blitz paused for a second as he drank the brew faster than he clearly thought. He groaned and pouted at Silver Tongue, who rolled his eyes and smirked before refilling the cup. He was met with happy little mumbles in appreciation.

“Being serious,” Honey Tea was always the model of stoicism. “We picked up most of what you guys were talking about.”

Blitz mumbled something, beckoning the document in Gage’s claws. He buried his snout in it immediately.

“So what’s this about home?” Honey cocked a brow.

“I’m interested too,” Silver took a quick sip from his mug. “You’re from Stalliongrad? I’m reading that correctly, right?”

I nodded.

I swear he was trying to stare through me. “So… why hasn’t there been anyone else from there? I feel like that’s the only question to start with.”

I shook my head.

“What could be so bad that you don’t wanna talk about it?” Silver added.

“A lot,” I looked away from everyone’s sight, drawing tiny circles on the counter that were bigger than me. “Anything out of that city is cursed.”

“So, that’s why you’re against using it?”

“No!” I slammed the tabletop. I couldn’t stop the tremors in my body. I tried my best to hold back the rage that knocked at the door. “Just makes it worse.”

“Ugh…” Blitz had finally fully woken up. He set his empty mug on the island and rubbed his eyes a little, tightening as he joined the conversation with a sigh. “I understand where you're coming from, Wildcard. I never wanted to kill anypony, and I still don’t want to. But Red Eye and ponies just like him have already put us in a situation where it's us or them. If we do nothing, then we’re just helping to prolong this horrible system of agony. Please think about the everlasting consequences this will have on ponies.”

“I did. Now think about building a new system on just as much bloodshed and then pointing a gun at everypony’s head,” I muttered a small chuckle through my shakes. “Does that sound like fucking paradise to you?”

I stood up and walked towards my rifle that rested next to the fridge. I picked it up by its curved magazine, checking the chamber for abrasions before slinging it onto my back. The rest of the room turned to watch Silver Tongue’s response. He gave a loud, long exhale as he approached me.

He was close enough for me to smell the stale roasted beans on his breath. I stared at the hoof he put on my shoulder. “No, but at least it’s something. Listen, you’re from there. It’s as if your ‘Infinite’ planned this. Why you’re here, right now. I can’t find a better reason why we should do this. We can’t fall apart now when the goal is so close!”

“Maybe. Or maybe it was for the opposite.”

The earth pony stallion just gazed at the hoof I brushed off my shoulder. I trudged my way to the doorway. I don’t know why. Maybe I was hoping they would realize what they're really considering. But that dream was crushed by the time I moved to open the front door.

A set of hoofsteps echoed behind me. “Wildcard… this is the best shot we… no, everypony has. I can’t see another way at this point. You have to understand that at least.”

I spun around on my hooves. “I can’t.”

“So what? You’re just gonna leave?” Silver Tongue raised an eyebrow.

“I joined you because I was ready and willing to die for you and the others. That was out of respect for each one of you. That we were going to risk our lives for others!” I turned back around and stared at the reddening morning sky. “Now I just respect your goal. I don’t respect you anymore.”

I heard Silver’s ass hit the ground. He was probably on the verge of tears, but this time I didn’t feel bad about it. Even as the seconds in the silence seemingly turned into forever.

“So, what are you gonna do?” Silver croaked.

“Die for someone else… just like my brother.”

His steady breathing began to chop up as he whined like a little colt. I turned just in time to watch the tear race down his cheeks as he dropped his head. Silver tugged his collar close. “You’re g-gonna… what?”

“Silver… We were doing it.”

“But you don’t need to die… w-we have the solution. No one else has to die for me!” He spat.

“It’s fin—“

“No, it’s not!” Silver Tongue cut me off.

“No-no-no-no-no!” The stallion stomped his forehoof repeatedly on the floor like a hollow drum to emphasize every word. “Damnit! There is no other way! More ponies die the longer we do nothing! And I won’t let you waste your life!”

I clenched my teeth and tried my best to ignore Silver Tongue’s outburst. The distance between us grew with each step.

“Wildcard!” He screamed from the doorway. “Please! Every whip mark on their back! Like me! Every foal ripped from their parents’ embrace! Every waster trying to be like you! What fuel would your death add to the pyre?!”

Hopefully? Something. It’s all I could hope for.

Footnote: New Game+

Modification: Ranger Hardcore – Forego all Perks, Skills and Traits as well as levels and the leveling system. Weapon and Armor values as well as yours and your enemies HP is set to Realistic. Good luck Stalker, you'll need it.