“BUCKING RETIRED? I’M BUCKING RETIRED?” Cadance screeched to herself as she stepped out of the elevator.

The soon-to-be ex-superheroine was wearing gigantic aviator sunglasses, along with her poofiest fur-coat, all while levitating a Marebucks coffee (pumpkin-spice with a shot of vodka). She knew how to make an entrance.

But she was talking to herself—there was nopony with her: Sunburst had submitted his two weeks’ notice before promptly being told to fuck off to whimper beneath the hooves of Starlight like the red-headed little bitch he was… and Shining Armor, Celestia-bless that lovable airhead, had been left behind in the Crystal Empire while she made this trek down to Manehattan to raise holy hell.

So, her screeching fury was really just for her own benefit.

Still, she wanted to make as big a scene as possible. If she was having a bad day, she wanted everypony in the corporate office, right down to the secretaries, to have a worse day.

“BECAUSE I DON’T REMEMBER WANTING to… to… retire?” Cadance’s words began to lose their fury as she glanced around at the lobby area to Flam’s office.

Papers were scattered everywhere. Some of the windows were cracked. Furniture was turned over. Little spot fires smoldered and flickered, not quite large enough to set off the building’s fire alarms.

And the big, oaken doors were shattered open. Barely hanging off of their hinges.

Did… did that weird pyro-stallion super-terrorist manage to break into Flamco’s top executive floors? I thought Sunlander vaporized him in the Friendship Tower Lobby?

She set her coffee down on the ruined lobby counter as she carefully removed her jacket and began to power up her magic.

“H-hello?” she asked, somewhat timidly. It had been a long time since she’d actually confronted a dangerous villain, not to mention handling such an encounter alone. Twilight and Aunt Celestia had been snagging collars for so long now she only ever left her castle for press-related marketing matters.

“Mmhmm. In here.” Flam’s voice wafted out through the ruined doorway.

She moved forward with trepidation, slowly walking through and into Flam’s office. She could see he was sitting at his desk, looking to one side, his head tilted back in a somewhat relaxed, comfortable posture—something she’d never seen the stern, stoic executive display.

Something about his strange half-grin pissed her off… and she remembered just why she had stormed the tower.

Her hackles rose and her wings started to flare as she tried to bring back some of that lovely rage that had been bubbling in her when she’d been riding the elevator up earlier.

“Just the bucking pony I wanted to see! Even though your bucking team tried to tell me that you were unavailable. Not surprising, since you just retired me without even asking!” She started trotting, her horn charging up as she did. “Just where do you get the balls to retire me? Don’t you know how well I’m polling in the blue-collar, unemployed, 47.5-47.9 year old demographic?”

Flam didn’t look at her, still just staring off into space with that dreamy, goofy look on his face.

“Second place. That’s where!” Cadance slammed herself down into the only undestroyed chair in front of Flam’s desk. “Think of what you’re missing out on in terms of potential sales, marketing… I drive TONS of Flamco merch during Hearts and Hooves day!”

Why has this turned into me trying to convince him to keep me? I came here to tear him a new tailhole!

Still Flam said nothing, only emitting a soft moan as he stared out his window.

“You don’t need to retire me! Just make it the Friendship Six if you really want to add some charity-case diversity-hire.” Cadance could feel a cold shiver rolling down her back now. “I’ve still got tons of collars left in me, and the kids will come back to me in droves as they get older and start having families! I’m the only one on the team with a family!”

Flam closed his eyes and blew out softly, as if enjoying a cigarette.

“Please. Please. Flam… I need this. I need to be on the team. It’s the only good thing that’s happened in my whole life… being famous.” She felt tears starting to appear in her eyes as she though about the dreary life of running the Crystal Empire with her fool of a husband. “I-I… I just can’t be a… normal!”

Flam grunted, shaking his head slightly as if savoring something. He whispered out of his lips, “Mm… that’s the stuff.”

“What!?” Cadance blinked, shaking her head and trying to clear the tears that had started to form there. “What did you just say? Are you… are you getting off on this? What kind of sick freak are you that you get off on my misery?”

Her wings unfurled to their full, rigid extension. The angry fury was back, the desire to burn the whole bucking world down to the ground because she wouldn’t get her way.

“You think just because you’re the CEO of Flamco you’re untouchable, huh?” Cadance snarled, her eyes flashing red. “Well I’ve got news for you, you bucking shithead… I don’t know if you realize how tight I am with my Aunt Celestia. But if you don’t keep me, then I think you can expect a visit from her.”

“A-ah!” Flam’s eyes shot open and he let out a little grunt, his neck extending slightly as he quivered.

“That’s right.” Cadance grinned, happy to see a change in his dumb, grinning face. “We’ll have to see how bucking easy it is to retire me when it means it’ll cost you Sunlander.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhnnnn….” Flam suddenly let out a long groan, sinking back into his chair like he was melting.

At the same time, Cadance suddenly saw motion from beneath Flam’s desk, just out of sight where she had been unable to see: the caped, pink and blue suit lycra clinging to the majestic white-coat of an alicorn as she rose up off of her knees and back to standing height.

Princess Celestia. Sunlander.

And she was wiping white-stained drool from her muzzle as she adjusted herself casually.

Cadance jerked up quickly to standing on her hooves, able to catch a glance over the desk as she did so to see Flam’s softening orange-stallionhood, still twitching in Sunlander’s left forehoof.

Sunlander was giving a blowie to Flam? Just what the buck was going on here?

“Ahh… please excuse me, Princess Cadance.” Flam grunted, sorting himself out and quickly returning to the stoic repose that made him so famously frustrating to deal with. “It was difficult to ask you to wait outside my office while Sunlander and I… finished up.”

Celestia swallowed something, something rather voluminous, the bulge noticeable as it went down her throat.

“Ah. Hello Cadance, we were just talking about you,” Celestia smiled.

“Wh-what… what the buck is going ON!?” Cadance stammered in disbelief.

She knew, deep down, that Celestia was sexually active. But it was always a whispered rumour, hidden in the background-talk of gossipping speculation… of a disappeared court noble, or a supposed spotting of her leaving her handlers and staff behind to go out late at night.

It was just too unthinkable to ever think that Sunlander, the most powerful pony in the entire world by far, would ever deign to let another pony be with her physically… It was just too hard to imagine the sheer, overwhelming domination of the solar princess ever be reduced by something so trivial as carnal desire.

Sure, Cadance’d had her own Celestia fantasies, just like any healthy mare. The Princess was such a natural, alpha-like paternal figure… it was common to imagine the caped Goddess stepping over top of you and taking you like your deepest, darkest feminine fantasies wanted her to… even if she didn’t sport the right equipment.

And yet, Cadance also knew the reality. The chilling sociopathy. The cruel, vapid narcissism. It made the real object much less of an erotic fantasy and more of a terror-filled nightmare.

…

Yet here she was, having just sucked off a stallion. Subjecting herself to the degradation of servicing a weak stallion. And not only that, but Flam. The one pony in the entire world that she would never stoop to appear weaker than, that she detested precisely because he held some reign of authority over her.

But she didn’t seem upset, it didn’t look like Flam had forced himself upon her… if that stereotypical corporate-me-too moment was even possible when the injured party held near omnipotent power.

No, she seemed happy.

“Oh, nothing really.” Celestia licked her lips, sighing, “Just expressing my gratitude to Flam here for everything he’s done for me.”

Cadance blinked, looking away from Flam, who was still ‘adjusting himself’, focusing instead on the much more real threat that was the radiant super-solar-heroine now slowly advancing upon her.

“W-what did he do?”

Flam looked up and quickly answered. “I confirmed to her, that you, Princess Cadance, are actually Flamco’s most valuable asset.” Flam stood up and shook his hips, finally getting his flopping, ridiculous stallionhood to behave and begin to retract into his sheathe. “Not Sunlander, not any of the other superheroines… not Compound F or Compound M… the most valuable single discovery FlamCo has achieved in its entire history has been… you.”

Cadance crunched her nose, frowning in confusion. “I don’t understand… if that were true, why are you retiring me?”

“Tell me Cadance, do you know how long I’ve been alive?” Celestia hummed casually, suddenly cutting in.

“O-over a thousand y-years?”

“Pfft.” Celestia rolled her eyes back. “That revisionist figure? Seriously? You haven’t figured out how old I am? I don’t know why I’m surprised, you never were one to research as hard as Twilight.”

“How old are you?”

“I don’t know,” Celestia sighed. “Ten-thousand? A hundred million? It all becomes a bit of a blur if I’m honest. But I was the first Pony to ever set hoof on this planet. Luna was the second, of course.”

Cadance blinked, unsure what to say.

“And I’ve seen it all, Cadance.” Celestia sighed shaking her head. “I’ve done it all, too. I’ve built civilizations up from nothing… watched them annihilate themselves back to the Stone Age… then build back up only to repeat it once again.”

Celestia was coming close to her now, lifting a hoof as if ready to put it on her back. Cadance shrunk back, trying not to seem scared, but utterly failing—Celestia could snap her like a twig at any moment.She’d seen it happen to others.

“I’ve worn all the hats too: Princess, President… I’ve even tried my hoof at being the villain—Luna’s ‘Nightmare Moon’ is really a pansy compared to my ‘Daybreaker’, let me tell you.” She looked down at herself, at the costume she was wearing. “This little iteration has been quite amusing, I must say. Compound F is a novelty that even I’ve never seen before, and donning the veil of these powers has been… perspective-changing.”

“Ah?” Cadance wasn’t even sure if she was really hearing Celestia’s words… her eyes never leaving the forehoof that could instantly obliterate her skull… or the horn that could vaporise her in a heartbeat.

“See, Cadance, over the countless millennia, the rise and fall of civilizations, there’s one thing beside Compound F that I’ve never, ever seen before.” Celestia lifted that dread-hoof up, gingerly placing it on Cadance’s back. The weight felt like a million pounds. “You.”

“A-another alicorn?” Cadance asked.

Celestia laughed. “Oh no, no no no. I’ve had plenty of those. I can shit those out twice a day if I wanted to. Luna and I discovered a long time ago that making pseudo, mortal alicorns was a simple matter of portioning off a little bit of our power and sending some pony off on some ridiculous quest. Bing bang boom, horns and wings, new alicorn.” She laughed again. “I don’t even remember what we dreamed up for you… no Cadance, there have been thousands of ‘alicorns’.”

“Th-then… why me?”

Celestia’s eyes zeroed in, focusing on her with a deadly seriousness.

“Your marehood.”

“M-my…?”

“You are the only pony in recorded history, ever… to give birth to an Alicorn. A real alicorn foal, an immortal like Luna and I.” Celestia confirmed her smile beaming wider and wider. “Do you know what that means, Cadance?”

“N-no?”

“You. You can bear my successor. Can help me tick off that box that has eluded me all these years… motherhood.”

Cadance stumbled back, but was kept in place by the hoof holding her neck.

“I don’t understand.”

“Let me explain—your super-talent, love... jacked up on my alicorning you, and FlamCo’s Compound F… has managed to overcome the barrier that has made alicorns sterile for all of eternity… and you popped out a little miracle.” Sunlander’s teeth shone as she bared her slightly menacing grin. “And now I want a little miracle of my own.”

“W-wait, you’re going to drain my power?”

“No. Your power is quite uniquely your own.” Flam spoke up, “At first, our research and development team wondered if it might have something to do with the males of the Sparkle family, but after extensive testing of Shining Armor’s coital abilities with our lab staff, we’ve confirmed that it is just you.”

“Sh-Shining?” Cadance tried to grapple with the fact that Flamco had been surreptitiously using her husband in infidelity-inducing lab experiments… sure, she herself slept with more ponies than a communal teddy bear at an orphanage, but Shining was supposed to have been hers!

And now, maybe also Flurry Heart.

“Twilight Sparkle, unfortunately, reached a similar theory; our surveillance shows she is going to try, unsuccessfully, to create her own alicorns,” Flam continued.

“Is that so?” Celestia growled. “Well, I’ll need to make a visit to my little protégée to discuss her ‘experiments’. After I’ve started baking my first bun, that is.” Those glowing, rapacious eyes slid back over Cadance’s body, their focal point making her shiver.

“I-I don’t understand. If I’m the one who can get pregnant… and you want a foal of your own… then… how?”

Celestia grinned, then stood up on her hind two legs.

“I’ve always known the ‘male-endowment’ spell.” She smiled as her horn began to glow with golden energy. “That one’s been around since Clover the Clever decided she wanted to continue her line without the pain of foal-birth. But it was only Compound M that gave me the sperm-motility to actually impregnate another pony.”

The glow began to spread down to her groin, slipping between her bountiful, lycra-clad teats.

“Flam here just confirmed that the uh… tests I’ve been doing out in the wild have led to confirmed pregnancies.” Celestia smiled sweetly at the CEO, who was now leaning back in his chair with a neutral expression. “So I know I’m not firing blanks. And trust me, my little niece… my package is quite the cannon.”

Cadance’s eyes shook as she watched a growing sausage begin to swell the lycra-suit of the superheroine, stretching up… up… up! All the way to her ribcage, a full twenty-inches… before it began to fatten and plump beneath the material. The huge lumpy ridge rose higher and higher, making the skin-tight costume cling to it, showing off its massive, fat flare.

“Ah!” Celestia grunted, as a pair of huge, black balls slipped out of the crotch of the suit, a thin thong-string of the super-suit straining as it pressed into the pair of orbs that looked like they belonged on a minotaur.

Cadance took a wavering step back as she looked at the monstrous horse-cock just hidden beneath Celestia’s paper-thin suit. She’d never seen anything like this, had never even imagined anything like this.

This wasn’t a stallionhood. It was a Goddesshood. A Mare-wrecker.

“Mmf!” The thong-thin strip finally parted, letting the weighty black testicles dangle low between the Princess’s legs. “Fuck, that feels better!”

A spill of wetness erupted from the tip of the bulge, trickling down the whole suit and turning it slightly transparent, letting Cadance see a dim, foggy picture of the black cockflesh throbbing for her.

The stench of the pre-cum assaulted her nostrils almost immediately. Potent, intoxicating… fertile. It made her feel like she was drunk… giddy… horny.

“I see the Compound M is still working its magic.” Celestia grinned, stepping closer to Cadance.

Cadance blinked, trying to clear her vision. She could feel herself drooling. Could feel her sex plumping, her body tingling, reacting.

“Why don’t we give little Flam here a show. I wasn’t able to really demonstrate proper technique with his pitiful little twig.” Celestia was looking down at Cadance now, holding her sweating head in her forehooves. “Why don’t you show him how what a real deepthroat looks like?”

Th-that thing?Deepthroat? Impossible!

Celestia pulled Cadance up against her belly, mashing her muzzle into the dripping wet bulge of her hot, steaming horsecock.

“Ahnnnnnn~” Cadance groaned, the taste and smell of the magic-infused pre-ejaculate more than enough to switch off whatever was left in her mind of resistance. She opened her mouth wider, letting her tongue rub against the soaked-through fabric of Celestia’s suit.

“Now, now, what am I thinking. This is what I used on all those simple dirt-ponies. This isn’t befitting of an alicorn, the Princess of Love. Heartthrob herself.” Celestia grinned, looking down at her groaning, half-stupid niece as her eyes rolled. “Let me give you something more appropriate.”

With a surge of her horn, the golden glow thrummed through the bulge once again. The already monstrously fat and long penis surged, gaining girth and length that ripped open the suit.

The huge elephant trunk of black flesh slapped down onto Cadance’s face, as if somepony had decided to rest a thick iron pipe on the Princess of Love’s snout.

“Now, my little pony. Suck.” Sunlander grinned, as her eyes glowed white.

*BAM*

The door to the office, already hanging wildly by its hinges, shattered off and fell down, kicked open once again.

“Well ‘ello ‘ello ‘ello, just wot do we have ‘ere?” A thick Trottingham accent filled the room. “A wee bit ‘o fun before you play ‘ide the banana?”

All eyes looked over to the intruder, a charcoal grey earth-pony sporting a thick leather jacket and a purple bowtie, her dark mane messy and wild, a treble cleft adorning her flank.

“And who the fuck are you?” Sunlander grunted, bored.

“Me? I’m the lass what comes to end your little party.” The mare opened her duster, revealing a vest with over twenty sticks of bale-fire explosives strapped around her. “Name’s Octavia, but you can call me the baker.”

“Mrs. Octavia, we discussed this. Flamco will make sure you and your partner are well compensated for—” Flam began.

“I’d shut it roight there, gaffer. Afore you make something in the room pop prematurely, an’ I don’t mean Sunlander’s Tallywacker.” Octavia showed the detonator in her hoof. “Sunlander ‘ere fucked moi wife, knocked her up, against her wishes… using that shite compound you brewed up. Video’s all over Equestria. And you think I want bits?”

Sunlander rolled her eyes.

“Excuse me, Baker? Octavia? Whatever your name is.” Sunlander shook her head slowly. “I’m sorry, I really don’t remember you, or your wife. I’m surprised I would have even bothered mounting a mud-pony to be honest—”

“She’s a unicorn. A DJ in manehattan,” Octavia snarled. “And you. You fucked her stupid, cranked one off in her and ruined her so all she can think about is her big beloved Sunlander’s prick. You fucked our lives up.”

“Ah, I see. Well, that’s actually very uninteresting. And I’m kind of in the middle of something.” Celestia motioned down at the situation unfolding between her legs. “So if you could kindly fuck off and go raise my kid, I’ll refrain from killing you.”

Octavia sighed, shrugging her shoulders and looking at the ceiling bemusedly. “Thought you might say that. So… fuck it.”

She pressed the detonator button.

END.

THE GIRLS SEASON 1

Author's Note

KABOOM!

Well, that's the end of Season 1!

Not really sure if there's going to be a Season 2 (from me at least, if any other author wants to run with the concept I'm more than happy to hand the torch off), this was just an idea that's been kicking around in my head since I finally got around to watching 'The BOYS' earlier this year.

Writing a sociopathic Celestia was just so much fun, as well as a broken, tired Flam.

There's really so much goofiness and plot jokes that you could make, both on the hero side, and on the team of anti-superhero Joe Schmoes, which barely featured in my fic.

In any case, if you liked the story. PLEASE give me a like, maybe even a favorite... and possibly a comment?

The comments are really what keep bringing me back for more writing! So if you want more from me, write something! If not... write something anyway, I don't care!

-Clops