A Dash of BoJack

"We're having a baby!" Sugar Belle announced at the farmhouse breakfast table with a smile almost as big as her husband's, Big Macintosh, sitting beside her.

"That's great news!" Applejack cheered, sitting on the other side of the table next to Rainbow Dash.

"It's about time," Rainbow said. "We could hear you guys trying often enough."

"Rainbow! Rude!" Applejack scolded.

"Well, to be fair," Sugar added, "you two aren't always the most quiet, either."

"But that's what I got the cloud bed for!" Rainbow said.

"Oh, the cloud bed works great..." Sugar started to say.

"When you use it," Big Mac finished.

"But it doesn't help when you two are in the barn," Sugar said.

"Or in the shower," Mac added.

"Or the loft."

"Or on the roof."

"Or-"

"Okay, we get it!" Dash said with a blush.

"And the bed doesn't help with... the squealing," Sugar said.

Dash blushed harder.

"Look, we're not complaining," Sugar said. "We're just teasing. You two deserve for your marriage to be just as happy as ours."

Applejack and Rainbow Dash smiled and the newlyweds held hooves. Just like Big Mac and Sugar Belle, they had a simple wedding at Sweet Apple Acres, officiated by Mayor Mare. Though beyond a change in title, little else changed for the amorous mares. Applejack continued to work on the farm, and Rainbow Dash would help when she wasn't busy with the Wonderbolts. The wedding announcement came as a surprise to nopony.

"So when are you two going to have a foal?" Sugar asked, rubbing her expectant belly with her hoof.

Rainbow Dash snickered. "Wow. I never thought I'd be the smartest pony in the room. But Sugar, two halves can't make a whole without a pole."

"I know that, silly," Sugar said with a wave of her hoof. "I meant adopting."

"That'd be swell," Applejack said. "But unfortunately we aren't allowed to adopt because of, uh..." she glanced at Rainbow Dash, "you know... the felonies."

Dash huffed. "Oh, you are just going to lord that over my head forever, aren't you!?"

"Well, what about a surrogate?" Sugar Belle suggested. "You could get invitro fertilization, or artificial insemination..."

Applejack groaned, "Yeah I know, but those are both mighty expensive."

"Well, what about just a stud, then?" Sugar asked.

Applejack and her wife gave each other a nervous look. "I dunno how I'd feel about some strange stallion-"

"What about Big Mac?" Sugar offered.

Applejack huffed, "I ain't fuck'n my brother!"

Rainbow Dash almost fell out of her chair laughing.

"I meant for Rainbow Dash," Sugar said.

Rainbow stopped laughing. "Oh. Wait, really?"

"Eeyup!" Big Mac confirmed.

Rainbow had always sensed that the red stallion had a thing for her, but he never made any move. Applejack likely made it clear early on that she had claimed her for herself. Even so... "But you're married."

"So are you," Sugar said. "But I see nothing wrong in sharing the gift of life. As long as we're open about it and everypony is okay with it...?"

Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a raised eyebrow,

"Well, I'm flattered," Rainbow said. "Really, I am. And normally, I'd say yes. Especially to have a foal as close to being like AJ as possible. But it's more complicated than that. You see, since I'm flying with the Wonderbolts, I can't be getting pregnant in the middle of my career. So we figured that if we ever did have a foal, AJ would be the one to carry."

"And as I said..." AJ groused.

"Right," Sugar agreed. She finished eating breakfast and got up to start clearing the table. Big Mac headed out to start working in the eastern orchard. Applejack and Rainbow Dash went the other direction to work on the western side, walking together in quiet contemplation

"AJ, I don't care who the stallion is, as long as you're the mother," Dash said.

"Yer just scared a' foaling," Applejack teased.

"No I'm not!" Dash defended. Applejack's bullshit detector was going off hard. "Okay, yeah, I am a little. But come on, anypony would be. Wouldn't you be?"

"Course I would!" Applejack said. "I heard enough horror stories from Mrs. Cake and Princess Cadance. But I'd still do it. It's just-"

"You don't like dicks. I know!" Dash sighed.

"It's just that the ones I seen, they looked weird to me, all veiny and intimidating..."

"AJ, all dicks look weird. And those veins are what make them feel so good. I never heard you complaining when I used the strap-on."

"But that's it!" Applejack said. "It's not so much the dick, but the stallion it's attached to I don't care for. I prefer mares."

"Yeah, I've noticed," Dash said with a smirk. "But this would be a lot easier if you were bisexual, like me."

"And this would be a lot easier if you weren't in the 'Bolts," Applejack retorted. "But more than that... Dash, maybe you don't care if it were any stallion being my foal's father, but I would. I want this foal to be a part of you as much as it is of me."

"AJ..."

"You're the fastest flyer in the history of Equestria! It'd be a right shame to not pass that on."

"Yeah, well, unlike you, I don't have a brother for you to f-"

"What about Bow?"

"Wha- my dad!?" Dash balked. "But wouldn't that make me a half-sister?"

"Well, to be fair, if it were you and Mac, that'd make me an aunt," Applejack said. "Besides, do you think your mom would even be okay with it?"

"I... I guess we could ask."

"Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Whistles," Applejack said, jabbing Rainbow Dash with her elbow.

"Y-yeah! Thanks for the grub, Mom."

"My, my!" Windy Whistles said, taking their plates to the kitchen sink. "You've even got her using her manners. I knew you would be so good for her. But please, you can call me 'Mom'. I know it's been a long time since you've been able to."

Applejack blushed and clutched her father's hat in her hooves. "Aww shucks, Mrs. Whistles. I- I dunno if I'm quite ready for that yet."

"Well I am," Windy said. "And I'm ready to be called grandmare. When are you gals gonna get me a grandfoal to spoil?"

"Well getting one isn't going to be possible, since Rainbow can't adopt," Applejack explained.

"Oh, right," Bow Hothoof said. "Because of all the... felonies."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "I'm just never gonna live that shit down, am I?"

"But we were thinking about having a foal," Applejack continued.

"Oh? Were you thinking invitro, or artificial insemination?" Windy asked. "Because those are both expensive and the success rates aren't very-"

Rainbow interrupted, "Actually, we were considering a stud."

"I didn't realize your barn door swung both ways," Bow said.

"Well, hers doesn't," Dash said.

"But you can't fly in the Wonderbolts if your pregnant," Windy said.

Dash added, "What I meant was, hers doesn't, usually. It would just be a one-time thing."

"I see. Well the summer heat is right around the corner. Did you have anypony particular in mind?" Windy asked.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other. Applejack took a deep breath. "Actually, that's what we came to talk to you about. Since I'd be the one carrying, we'd still want our foal to be as much a part of Rainbow as possible, so..."

"So we were wondering if you could lend us... Dad... to... stud her."

"That is, if it's alright with him, too!" Applejack added quickly.

The muscles at the corners of Bow Hothoof's mouth struggled to keep the goofy grin from his face.

"Oh, I don't think he would need much convincing," Windy said with a coy smirk. "What do you say dear? Do you want to help make another fastest flyer in Equestria?" Bow nodded enthusiastically. Windy looked across the table at Applejack. "Now, I've heard a thing or two about earth pony stamina. Please be sure to return him to me in one piece."

"Yes ma'am."