I am Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?

Celestia's chariot flies over the streets of Canterlot looking at the citizens below, all eyes in the city below look up as smiles cross each and every face when they see her returning. The citizens then start to make their way towards the Castle to greet and welcome her back from her 'captivity.

Summer looks at her mother as she sighs with an angry face, making her wonder and ask, "Mad?"

She looks at her locket and tucks it inside her dress as her wedding and engagement rings rest on top of it, then turns to her daughter and smiles saying, "No sweetie, I'm not mad. I'm just missing your father, and wishing I was anywhere but in Canterlot..." then looks wistfully at her barren fingers on her left hand, really wishing she could wear her marriage bands.

The chariot lands in front of the loaded carriages as the guards all stand ready to keep the crowd back, waiting for their princess to ready herself to deal with the crowd as the ponies start to gather around. The ponies all gasp and look in shock at the little filly held in her arms, causing them all to start talking to each other, wondering when she became with foal.

Celestia stands up tall and calls out above the crowd saying, "Please quiet down my little ponies, this little filly is not mine. I was held captive by the pirate Captain Jack Sparrow, and the guards succeeded in tracking me down even though he had placed a magic nullifying ring on my horn. The guards then engaged him to buy enough time to get me onto the carriage and back to safety in Canterlot, out of his vile clutches when I passed over a burning ship that he and his crew attacked a few days prior. Thankfully, I was well treated as a prisoner which allowed me to rush to the aid of the ship, where I found its crew all slain when I heard a crash from inside the captain's cabin." To make the story believable, she forces herself to shed tears and sob while turning around to pick up her daughter before facing the crowd once more and continuing, "I went to investigate it and found it on fire with a burning heavy wooden beam trapping a mare and her foal under it, she told me to save the filly and keep her away from Jack Sparrow, who is her father. Without hesitating, I lifted the beam enough to get the filly free but could not get the mare from under the beam. I continued attempting to free the mother, but she told me the ship could blow at any moment due to black powder being on board. So I was then forced to leave the mare behind in order to save this little filly's life, before I left the cabin she told me the filly's name was Summer Poppet." She then looks down to the ground before taking a short breath to pause her fake crying act, she then sniffles and looks back up at the crowd and says, "Even though I may not be her real mother, I shall take the filly in and take care of her. Summer's father may be a pirate, but she is still an innocent foal so be compassionate and don't show her any disrespect, please."

Meanwhile, on the Black Pearl as it heads south

Jack looks at his compass as it still points south and snaps it shut saying, "Gibbs, Barbossa, come here a moment."

Barbossa makes his way towards the captain, standing a little ways from the stairs as he crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow asking, "Aye, Captain Sparrow? What ye be needin' now, huh?"

He looks at the two of them and lowers his voice and holds the wheel saying, "Gather 'round the helm closer if ya would, I'll finally tell you everything I know and allowed to share..."

Gibbs and Barbossa get much closer and listen intently as Barbossa says, "Alright, now start talkin' Sparrow."

Jack then says, "Let me start at the beginning of how I got here, it started a few years after Poseidon's Trident was broken and you died saving us all from the pirate hunter Salazar whatshisname..."

Barbossa listens intently as Gibbs sort of ignores this part of the story, hearing how Jack's past lover chased him down with the help of his daughter Carina, then bested with the help of the voodoo doll that Blackbeard made of Jack, then stabbed through the chest and left to die on his ship. His mouth hangs open in momentary surprise at how he came to be here with the help of a returned Davy Jones reunited with his beloved goddess Calypso, and the Kraken.

He then tells Barbossa how he managed to sail the crippled Pearl into some port, met the princess for the first time, went to get treatment for his wound and learned about ponies and magic. He then continues on with how he came to meet Grandmama and how you become a pony if you die and come here, then tells Barbossa his second meeting with the princess when he heard a strange voice make him a deal he couldn't refuse for his own safety and says, "The voice told me that the reward for assisting them would be what we wish for most, but would be our curse if we fail them. After I was pretty much forced to take the deal, I noticed the princess looking at me as if wanting an answer. So I asked her to repeat herself so we then went to her old castle where she and her sister had a major fight which destroyed pretty much the whole castle. After we arrive and enter the old library to search through the books there, I learned that Alicorns like her are long-lived. I looked at the book in my hand my compass led me to and it was about theories involving the Elements of Harmony, guessing that they might choose who is worthy of them so I then handed the book to Celestia to further investigate. I then was guided to a hidden cover, after finding the opening mechanism, I found a book instead of treasure. The book mentioned a great horror to be unleashed on the world in the future, then told of a strange lullaby sang to them which I didn't understand. Some of it was about vanishing heroes and vanishing gifts which involve the Elements of Harmony I think, a pony getting a sad fate which would be her sister being banished to the moon, a winner grieving and making heroes which is Celestia missing her sister and trying cheer her subjects up with the Wonderbolts. What I did understand, however, is this next part of the lullaby which I keep to myself and play dumb about to her. It went something like this...The lone savior, a clever soul, hunts for coin and gold. They'll come with a green flash of light, but suffer in pain...deep, deep, pain. A ship appears black as night, with no nation to be seen. This one soul may choose their fate, choosing well avoids a grisly and dark fate. Oh poor creatures suffer from great fright, dark shades are revealed by night's light. The one redeemed, fights their love, gains faith, love, and cheers. Foes run from the ghost, shades loosed to sea, they sail to claim what's...held...most...dear." He then pauses for a moment and asks, "Do either of you understand what exactly that lullaby said?"

Gibbs shakes his head as Barbossa speaks up with slight confusion on his face, "I know it spoke about the Pearl's arrival, the injured crew being pirates, and there was a choice to be made."

Jack grins and nods his head saying, "Aye. You see, it foretold of their savior, meaning me being a pirate. Then our arrival with the green flash telling of someone's return from death, with me facing the possibility of losing the ship and its crew. The Black Pearl arrives in a port showing no nation's colors. I shall be responsible for choosing our fate, the wrong choice causing us to suffer greatly. This next part I am not looking forward to experiencing..." He then continues to explain the rest of the lullaby to them.

Barbossa backs away with fear on his face as he says, "NAY! That can't be true, can it Jack?"

He looks at him with a sad sigh saying, "Aye mate, it is. IT has been found and hidden away, though it will be needing guarding when the time comes."

He looks at Jack as if he has gone mad and says, "Are you of sane mind, or have you lost it? You've no idea the suffering that accursed treasure inflicts on those it affects but I have, and I can attest for its ills. Don't ask me to suffer through that again, or I'll kill ye where ye stand." He then draws his pistol and cocks it back, aiming at Jack's head.

Jack draws his and cocks it as well saying, "Think of what it would be like to live and sail the seas forever, mate. I wish there were a way around this and to bring her sister back from the moon, but Celestia is doing her part in this plan by playing cupid. The ponies do not truly understand how fearsome pirates can be, and I don't want you to go through this again because you deserve a little peace after what you have gone through. I'm willing to offer you a fair deal if you go along with my plans, I swear it will work out for us all."

Barbossa hesitates in responding, greatly disliking the idea of going through it again and adjusts his grip on his pistol a bit before narrowing his eyes suspiciously at him asking, "What could you offer me that might win me favor?"

He sighs and answers him, not really liking it himself, "Fifteen percent of me share of the hoard we found with the chest and of whatever spoils we take from the ponies, along with..." Pausing for a few seconds as he battles with himself over actually including it with the deal before barely saying, "The Pearl."

Gibbs and Barbossa look at Jack in complete and utter shock at what he just said as Barbossa asks with wide eyes, "Apologies Jack, could ye say that again?"

Jack blinks his eyes and maintains his stare at Barbossa while saying, "As I said...and the Black Pearl. Did you hear me that time, mate? That is how seriously I am taking this plan and making such an offer to make sure it succeeds. I do not wish to miss a single second of my own daughter's life, but if it offers me the chance to unite my beloved wife's family...I would do anything for it, even selling my soul to Davy Jones if he so desired."

Barbossa is so shocked and surprised at his offer, he almost accidentally drops the pistol he is holding and says, "Y-You'd really give me the Pearl to see this plan through?" and continues staring into Jack's eyes with surprise still on his face.

He stares right back at him and says without flinching a muscle, "Aye mate, I would."

Taken aback by how he actually would sacrifice the one thing he loves most in the world, he squints his eyes and looks down for a brief moment. He then rolls his eyes and uncocks his pistol, returning it to his belt and then extends his right hand saying, "I may find meself regretting this later...very well Jack, we have an accord, though you may keep the Pearl out of the arrangement if ye can put a good word in with her sister fer me if ya would when she does return."

Jack half chuckles and uncocks his pistol, then returns it to his belt with a grin and claps his hand against Hectors in agreement saying, "Okay then mate, but fair warning, I've never met her sister and know very little about her, so no promises mate but I will at least introduce you."

Barbossa then unclasps his hand saying, "Thank ye, Jack. This time I am talking to ye and not the monkey named Jack. What is our next step in this plan?"

He smiles nervously and says, "I have naught a single clue mate, I'm waiting for a voice to give me a hint or even a lick of a hint."

He huffs in minor annoyance at hearing that and says, "Fine then, let me know when that 'voice' answers ye."

A month later, nearing the Storm King's Realm near sunrise

Jack stands at the helm guiding the Pearl to his destination when he hears a ringing in his ears when his mind is pulled to a familiar dark place and sighs saying, "It's really annoying when you do that."

Equis grins and walks towards him in the darkness saying, "Would you rather I give you a headache or talk to you while you steer your ship while you only hear an incessant buzzing in your ears?"

He winces and says, "N-No thank you, the former would be quite inconvenient and the latter might drive me crazy."

She then drops the grin saying, "Then stop complaining and shut up already." She then sighs and continues, "That was a very lovely wedding, thank you for letting me watch it."

Jack smiles and nods his head briefly, saying, "You're welcome, mate. So what business you have for me this time?"

Equis stands several feet away and looks off to the side, looking at the pirates sailing the seas as they talk amongst themselves, and answers him, "I have been hearing a rumor spreading like a wildfire across the seas to each and every pirate that sails them, claiming that if they are driven from the seas they will sound the call for aid." She then looks at Jack with a serious look on her face asking, "What is this call and who are they asking to aid them?"

He thinks on it and plays dumb saying, "A call? I know naught what you mean love."

She sees through his act and narrows her eyes saying, "Don't try to fool me you bucking pirate! Now answer the question or you and the Pearl wind up in Tartarus for angering me."

Jack winces again and says, "Alright, alright...don't get your knickers in a twist. It's just a song that only pirates like me and the crew sing, fully understanding what it means. It is a song that is sung when we are driven into the corner and our fate hangs in the balance, it signals when we will gather and make our final stand together...to the last."

Equis cocks her head in confusion before sighing in relief saying, "Oh ok, so it won't bring anything dangerous to this planet..." She then finds herself wanting to know the song saying, "Ok, what are the words to this song?"

He turns and looks back at her over his shoulder saying, "It's a dangerous song to sing, for any who is ignorant of its meaning. I wonder if you will be able to understand it as I do?"

She watches his back as he starts to sing it, with the song telling of someone's binding. As Jack continues the song, her instinct makes her start to back away slowly and tries to stop herself from going any further. Unable to ignore her instinct, she backs away a little further when the song stops and allows her instinct to calm down saying, "I don't understand why I couldn't stop my body from backing away when you were singing, why did my instinct tell me to get away?"

Jack turns back around and faces her with a smirk on his face saying, "It is because you have known peace and kindness for too long, but deep down in your mind somewhere you grasp what that song really means." Seeing her uneasy like this eggs him to press his advantage and creeps closer to her one slow step at a time saying, "Because of those facts, you all have...a...heightened...fear...of...death." He then quickly grabs her mane and pulls her into a kiss, feeling light shocks run through his body.

Equis is taken by surprise as he steals a kiss from her, causing her eyes to widen when she reacts a few seconds later by biting his tongue as it dances with hers. She tastes blood trickle down her throat when he refuses to back away, realizing what she must do to push him away, forcing him back with a blast of magic from her horn.

He lands on his ass with a grin and asks, "I've been wanting to do that. So was it good for you too love?" while ignoring his bitten tongue and aching chest.

She glares at him for doing that to her and says, "Do you have any idea how rude it is to steal a kiss from a spirit?!"

Jack returns to his feet with a smile on his face saying, "I enjoyed it meself, those tiny shocks were quite amusing."

Equis is taken aback by that as she cocks her head in confusion and thinks, 'What? Tiny shocks?' She then gets lost in thought until it finally hits her, causing her to blush thinking, 'I can't believe that it is that time already...Oh crap, I tasted his blood already...ugh...' She then turns around with an indignant huff as she raises her nose into the air and swings her tail lightly back and forth saying, "Enjoy a few brief years of peace Captain Jack Sparrow, for they will seemingly pass quickly before trouble starts."

He watches her walk away with a light sway to her hips and asks, "OI, how will I know to continue the plan?!"

She grins and continues walking while swaying her tail lightly saying, "Don't worry, just think like you and it will come." Then sends him back with her magic, also cursing him to suffer from a mild headache while groaning with annoyance saying, "The last time this happened was with Celestia and Luna. Ugh, I shouldn't have bitten him...this is going to be a long wait to give birth to her. Perhaps I should tell Jack about her...hmm...on second thought I'll just tell him later, a few years after she is born. That way we will be even for him stealing a kiss from me."

He rubs his aching head saying, "Why did she have to word it like that, it wasn't helpful at all!" He looks to the east and watches the sun break the horizon thinking, 'A beautiful sunrise dear, and what a beautiful way to pester the neighbors eh?' He adjusts his course to the southside of the large island nation and calls out, "All hands to the cannons, prepare the special packages for our friends! This time we shall get a bit closer so we can shell the castle as well..."

A couple hours later, at the Storm King's Realm's Castle on the royal balcony

Stephen storm sits across from his parents as they enjoy their breakfast of blueberry pancakes and pork sausage links when he hears cannons fire in the distance, causing him to jump up from the table and rush to the edge to look at who is attacking them. He sees a ship sailing just on the edge of the harbor, still too far for their cannons to reach. He then looks at the town below, seeing brown spots appear in various places, and turns to his parents growling for a moment before saying, "There's a ship just on the edge of the harbor out of our cannon's reach. It is that ship that attacked us with diapers the last time father, what do we do?"

Queen Storm looks at her son and sighs saying, "Come back to the table dear, they won't hit the castle."

King Storm looks at his son with a chuckle and a grin saying, "As long as there are no casualties, we will not pay them any mind."

Stephen groans and makes his way back to the table saying, "Very well, Father." while reaching for his chair when something slams into the back of his head, sending him flipping end over end until he hits a stone column. Dazed for a moment from the strike, he turns around to go back to the table when he sees white, circular packages flying through the air over the balcony railing and says, "Father, take co-" when he is suddenly cut off by a diaper striking his head, a small amount going into his mouth as he hears a splat behind him.

The king looks over at his son and chuckles saying, "I told you to never speak with your mouth full son, don't you listen to what I try to teach y-" when a few more diapers strike his son and glue him to the stone column, causing him to start laughing when he is also struck in the back of the head.

The queen watches her husband turn around to look at the railing still laughing, and prepares to tell him to sit back down when he is suddenly silenced by a diaper splattering all over his head. Stray bits also splatter her robes, causing her to look down and growl angrily and shout with her royal voice, "ALL CANNONS PREPARE-" only to be cut off by a diaper nailing her in the head and knocking her out.

Meanwhile, a few minutes later on the Black Pearl

Barbossa laughs heartily saying, "Those fool's mouths were open lads, how unfortunate for them."

Jack chuckles as well and says, "Great job at silencing the one using that royal voice, you bought us more time to shower them with gifts!"

The crew laughs along and continues to fire their presents at the town and the castle until they run out, with the captain then giving the order to fill all sails as Pintel looks to Ragetti laughing while saying, "What fools they are, trying to give the order to fire back at us when we are firing full diapers at them!"

Ragetti helps Pintel reload the cannon with regular shot saying with a grin, "Stupid fools indeed to try to talk during a shit storm."

An hour later, on the royal balcony

Queen Storm fumes as she is completely covered with feces and bits of exploded diapers and looks at her husband with a fire raging in her eyes shouting, "Let us get revenge on that damned ship, just look at what they have done to us all!"

King Storm chuckles and looks at his son, still glued to the column as the guards start to pry him from it and says, "Have there been any casualties from this attack, dear?"

The queen huffs and puts her hands on her hips with a glare at her husband, who is also covered in feces and says, "My dress is a casualty, just look at it! It's completely ruined now!"

He looks at his wife with kindness in his eyes as he asks, "I know dear, that is very unfortunate because I liked how that dress accentuated your curves. Have there been any injuries or losses of life with this attack, besides our dignity?"

Queen Storm huffs and blushes underneath the feces coating her face and says, "...No."

King Storm walks towards her with a smile on his face and places a hand on her cheek, then wipes some of the feces off of her saying with a sweet tone, "In that case, we shall do nothing. See how easy it is to remove the filth, let's go and wash it off each other..."

The queen smiles and moves beside him, then leans into him saying, "You really are too kind dear, it might be the death of you someday." She then starts to walk with him towards their bathing area and chuckles saying, "We should get there before this stuff dries and glues us together as our son was to the column, he is going to develop a hatred for that ship you know?"

He wraps his arm around her shoulder saying, "I wouldn't mind being glued to your side... All we can do is try to educate and guide our son towards a path of peace between us and the other nations."

Queen Storm smiles and lays her head on her husband's feces-covered broad shoulder saying, "You are such a smooth talker dear...since my dress was a casualty of this latest attack, how about you buy me a new dress the next time you travel to Canterlot?"

King chuckles and continues to head towards the bathing area saying, "Very well, it sounds like a fair request."