Equestria Handyman

Answering his scroll Mark was slightly confused when almost immediately he heard the sound of uncontrollable giggling from the other side.

“Hello?”

Hearing a gasp he had to pull scroll away slightly as to not to hear the series of smacks and thuds, as he heard as whoever was calling sounded like they just drop their scroll.

“Hello? Hello?! Mark you there?”

“Yeah I’m here?” The human leans on a column as he takes the call. “Hey Cadence, how have you been doing?”

“Incredible actually! And before I forget congratulations!”

“Oh for pity's sake! Are you telling me even YOU heard it?”

“Hear what?” She ask perplex

“Ah…congratulations to what exactly?”

“Oh Marky, you naive stud. I’m the Princess of Love, do you really think I wouldn’t notice a certain ‘spike’ of affection in the air? It was like a sugar rush back here. Thank the stars my sweet Shining and I were just going through some papers when it happened. I was ready to tackle him right in the open when it hit me!”

“He…He is fine right?”

“Oh yeah he is perfectly fine, we recovered the sensation in our legs after an hour.” She dismisses his concerns.

“O…k, I’m gonna pretend that that is not concerning and just say thanks?”

“No Marky thank you! The crash was a nightmare for sure but by my Auntie was worth it!”

“Well I’m glad to hear you two had a good time at least. Not gonna tell you what mare she was though, I haven’t even asked her if she would want me to share it.” Mark tells her with finality.

“Ah of course, of course, that is real kind of you. I will not press the issue.”

“Thanks, Cadence, not to be rude or anything but I am kind of on my way to meet the Princesses and my marefriend for dinner so I should make this short. I will call you…”

“Wait!” She begged him to stay on the line. “There is something else.”

“What is it?”

“Remember what you and Milky promised us while I was visiting?”

“The blind dates, yeah I remember.”

“Well I had someone new for later but what would you say if I told you that a certain dragon told me that she would like to meet you?”

“Certain dragon? Wait, you mean…your friend Nova?”

“Oh yeah, remember what we talked about back then? Turns out that she isn’t sure yet but might be interested in talking, to clear the air.”

“Cadence you are not expecting me to just go and have sex with her, right?”

“No! Of course not promise this will be just a friendly meeting, just that. Where would it lead though? Well that is up to you.”

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose “Not sure if there could be much, I’m currently between homes but I will see what I can do. Would she care about waiting for a week? Just so I had my place ready.”

“Oh! S-sure, sure I will tell her that, thanks for agreeing to it Mark.”

“No problem, we did, kind of promise after all.”

“Oh and Mark, just an advice, dragonesses tend to breathe multicolor fire if they get too excited.”

“Why would I need to know that?”

“Just so you remember to stay in dog position or ready yourself to push her face away” Cadence chuckled and hung up before he could offer a rebuttal, leaving him flustered from her final words.

“Of course you had to end the call with that, didn’t you. Gosh this is gonna be so hard to explain to Fluttershy!”

He sighs in defeat before hearing his scroll coming back to life once more and to his surprise see that it was Milky this time who was calling.

Meanwhile back at the Crystal Empire

The Princess of Love was still grinning like crazy as she saw the annoyed dragon tapping her talons.“Took you long enough! Ok, you had your call, now on with the zapping thing.” She demanded pointing at Cadence's horn.

“Oh no Ember this isn’t something that can be solved that easily.” Cadence shakes her head and guides her to sit in one of her chairs.

“Sure I could cast an end love spell but that would not do anything but give you a very brief relief. It only works for widows after all.” She confesses in sorrow. “and it’s mostly to help them endure the pain, and move on while carrying their love.”

“Sounds good to me, so I just kill the human and…”

“NO!” Cadence stops her in alarm. “Nope, no that is not gonna solve anything and if you dare resort to that I swear I would make you regret it.” She warns her with finality. “Don’t tempt me, you think it's bad now. Picture it a thousand times worse.”

“Ok, ok, no killing geez, jumpy much?” Ember raises her arms in a defensive position and lets Cadence relax before continuing. “So…what is the plan then?”

“You are saying what happened in that night club is haunting you right? In that case the only way to fix it would be a direct confrontation with the source.”

“You said no killing.”

“NOT that kind of confrontation” Cadence clarifies in exasperation. “I mean a date.”

“W-What?!” Ember's face turns pink and she slowly backs away “Y-you want me to just have one of your pony dates?”

“How do dragons date?”

“I…don’t think we do, it’s mostly just a mating season kind of deal. We just beat each other to establish power and then the winner chooses the dragoness that got interested and won their own fights.”

“That sounds more like a very bizarre fighting tournament.”

“Hey, my parents met that way.” Ember defends herself. “So…you want me to just go over there and demand him to finish the job? I already proved my worth to him.”

“Please don’t remind me.” Cadence warns her remembering the end of the dance. “I’m still recovering from my last session.” She cringes as her flower was still feeling sore from what happened the night before. “And no, we ponies don’t do that, and neither would you. You want to put an end to that state so you will listen to my instructions and have a normal pony type of date.”

She nods and starts looking through some books “I will walk you through.”

“You better, you are coming with me.” Ember demands

“Excuse me?”

“I can’t risk him forgetting that I already proved myself so either Pink Lust comes with or I grab the first mare I see during our date and remind him.” Before remembering something and reaches into a pouch on her side, pulls something free and tosses it to Cadence. “Took me a while to find it in my Horde but here is your piercing.” She says as Cadence catches it. Somehow slightly sticky. As if it had been licked clean.

“Did…did you lick it?” Cadence asks in surprise yet Ember only shrugs.

“Sometimes dragons like to give their mates something to enjoy themselves while having sex, I figure I might get used to your flavour just in case

“Wow, wow, one that is NOT gonna happen and two I’m NOT gonna go, in case you forgot I’m married!” She shows her wedding ring. “Don’t know how it works for dragons but pony mares only have ONE stallion for a herd, and I already chose Shining Armor.” She reminds her with finality.

“So, are you gonna pretend he didn’t make you quiver too then?” Ember raises an eyebrow at her.

“Of course not! That only added fuel for Shining and I’s night” She remembers with fondness, “and I stand firm, I will NOT choose another stallion”

“Then you better think of something Princess, because there is no way I’m tackling this alone.”

“Oh, so the dragon lord is scared?”

“I will pick a mare from the street Princess, don’t tempt me either.” Ember matches with a taunt of her own.

Cadence thinks it over and starts wondering on options before coming up with an idea. “Ok have it your way I will go, but Pink Lust will join us for your date.”

“Huh?” Ember looked at her totally confused.

“Come with me” She guides her out of the room and into the barracks where Cadence requests for a special soldier who, after requesting her presence soon arrived.

In front of the two Ember saw a female Changeling wearing one of her crystal ponies guard uniform giving them a salute. The armor was made entirely from an almost Amethyst crystalline metal. A Roman styled Helm with a plume of Lavender hair. Beautiful scrollwork patterns of ivy graced it.

“Private Aphid reporting for duty, your highness.” She tells with a wide friendly grin, her skin was light pink, she had a small smooth horn in the center of her forehead and her eye colors were the same purple ones as Cadence.

“At ease soldier, this one is an off the record mission.” Cadence informs her making Aphid to relax and lower her arm.

Ember keeps looking at the Ling and then Cadence with a raised eyebrow. “Ok you brought me here, so what is this?”

“You will see, Aphid dear, Ember is well aware of my marital activities so there is no reason for secrets. Would you show her our special little arrangement?”

Her eyes turn sultry and she smirks. “With pleasure.” All of the sudden she was engulfed in a green fire before appearing again disguised as a perfect copy of the princess as she approached the dragon lord. “A pleasure to meet you Ember, please try to be careful, this is the first time we have tried it with a dragon tossed into the mix.” She chuckles and is about to reach for Ember’s armor before Cadence stops her. “Calm down Aphid, that is not what is gonna happen.”

“It’s not?” Aphid looks at Cadence using her own voice and returning to her regular form. “Then what is it?”

“What the heck do you and your husband do in your bedroom?” Ember asks, surprised and confused at what she just witnessed.

“You see Ember ever since Thorax made us see changelings in a new light, my Shining and I have been trying our best to help them enter into our society without fear of retribution. Aphid here has been a blessing from the sky since she decided to join our crystal guards, acting as babysitter, bodyguard, body double and well…” Her cheeks turn pinker, same as Aphid, before they share a kiss with her returning to her Cadence persona. “Twin play.” They say simultaneously.

“Ok I’m with you so far, so what you are saying I take her with me and she pretends to be Pink Lust?”

“That is precisely the idea, yeah” Cadence nods briefly.

“Take me where?” Aphid asks in intrigue.

“You see Aphid The dragon Lord here has encountered a certain intimate problem that needs my help to solve. One that requires some intimacy.”

“Oh then why don't you help her…”

“…as in intimacy with a stallion dear.” Cadence finish.

“Oh! Now I get it, yeah your one rule right?”

“Exactly! And that is why I wanted to enlist your help once more as my pretender” she tapped the horn. “Fortunately, said stallion saw me as Pink Lust so for this you would not need to do a perfect copy, just like some of the play times we have done.”

“Understood princess.”

“You do know what you are agreeing to here right kid?” Ember questions the changeling “We are talking about helping me get laid, you could get in the crossfire and I might have to eat you out to establish dominance.”

“Do you mind if I eat a bit of the love?” Aphid questions innocently, seemingly ignoring Ember's warning.

“Wait! Are you actually ok with this?”

“Well of course, I’m a friend with Cadence and Shining Armor, until I form a herd of my own they don’t mind me having fun myself right Princess.”

“Not at all, so you see Ember this way you can keep up appearance, I assure you Aphid has studied my behaviour, appearance and personality to a T. She could be considered my exact copy in every sense of the word and I mean EVERY sense.”

Ember only shrugs. “Works for me, ok lets go Aphid, we need a male to nag.”

“AFTER we discuss how we will play the date.” Cadence insists, irked in how Ember keeps jumping ahead of her plan. “Also I don’t need to request we keep this little endeavour between us as a secret right?”

“And risk everyone finding out I dance naked? You got a deal, Cadence.” Ember nods. “Good, in that case let's get to work.”

Back at Canterlot Castle

“…so did you finally decide on a house?” Milky asked as Mark made his way to the dining room.

“Yeah, we were having difficulties deciding between the final five but luckily Celestia came and helped us decide on one. A cool 2 floor house with a yard near Sugar Cube Corner, about 2 blocks away from Carousel Boutique, a good spot for business and with enough space to double it as a home too.

“I’m so glad to hear it. Next would be buying it and starting moving your stuff as soon as possible.”

“I will start making the calls first thing in the morning.”

“Perfect, and you mention the Princess paying you a visit, by chance did Fluttershy…?”

Mark looked around to make sure no one was close. “Yeah, she knows now, Celly was kind enough to explain it in person, Molly also popped out to say hi as well and thankfully they got along without a hitch.”

“Really? There were no problems at all?”

“Well…for some reason they got a bit competitive but I managed to calm down and they seem to have become fast friends, so everything is fine.”

“I see, Marky, perhaps we should make a rule about the subject. For the sake of the Princess. Only share the issue with members of the herd and not friends with benefits, keep the information tight.”

“Agreed, we should try to keep everything just between us.”

“And speaking of friends I have wanted to talk to you about somepony, named Coco Pommel”

“Oh! My sweet beautiful alpha is also in the prowl now?” Mark questions with a smirk, causing her to chuckle.

“Nah I think we will leave it as just friends, the poor dear just recently decided to enter the dating world and I mainly just wanted to help her gain some confidence.
”
“Ah that is so sweet of you Milky”

“Thank you! And don’t worry I’m not planning to spare any of the ‘details’ either” Mark froze as he heard Milky breathe into the scroll. “Her teats were a cute B cup size, and her pristine trimmed pussy was shaved in a needle shape.”

“M-Milky! I’m heading to eat right now.”

He heard her chuckle briefly “I’m so sorry sweetie I couldn’t help myself, call me later once Fluttershy and you are alone…I want to share my story with the whole herd.” She kisses the scroll and ends the call leaving Mark holding the device completely flustered.

God I love that mare!

Later that night

After returning from the session with Molestia, and subsequently cleaning his entire right arm. Mark opens his scroll and places it on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hey honey I put you on speaker right now.”

“Hi Milky, how are you doing in Manehattan?” Fluttershy adds.

“Oh incredible, the place is simply gorgeous, the food delicious and the business opportunities endless. Orbit Milk is gonna have another boom very soon!” she says in excitement earning an eye roll from the couple on the other side.

“So glad to hear Milky, Marky told us that you have been making some friends there too.”

“Oh yeah, the sweet, sweet Coco Pommel.”

“Yeah we met her once during one of our trips there, how is she by the way?”

“Doing great, but pretty tired. The poor dear is using one of my boobs as her pillow.” They both get surprised at the revelation as Milky chuckled. “Would you like me to give you a play by play?”

“Yes please.” Mark says almost entranced by the mental image Milky was painting, as well as still being pretty worked up after having calmed down Molly’s flower leaving a good imprint of her region in his mind.

While Fluttershy mainly resorted to nodding.

“I thought so, but why should I have all the fun, why don’t you try to copy some of my moves, while I narrate.”

“I…I’m not sure I would be able to do some of them Milky.” Mark reminds her holding his breath.

“Oh I’m sure you would think of something. “Ok why don’t we start. I began by placing my extended hand over her chest as I slowly pushed her into the bed.

Too excited to let the opportunity pass, Mark takes her roll, and pushes Fluttershy down as she looks at him with a blush and a smile in anticipation.

“Then I started to tease her with a near miss on her face, making her wonder when I would kiss her before surprising her with an unexpected long one, my hand caressing her face as our bodies were pressing against one another…”

Milky continued talking until finally all of them were spent laying in bed sweating as Fluttershy was resting on his chest with a satisfied face no doubt copying how Milky and Coco were at the moment.

“Good night my sweet herd.” Milky tiredly says on the scroll.

“Goodnight my sweet alpha.” Mark replies with adoration. They both reach for the scroll reaching for one another before sleep claims them.