Kim Possible: A Sitch in Equestria

Tinky Winky marched forward with confidence, his entourage of terryclothed friends in tow. His Noo-Noo had gotten quite a head start, thanks to Po being late to awaken as usual, but it didn't really matter because he knew her trajectory.

Their marching led them, sure enough, to the outskirts of Everfree, and beyond that, the outer edge of Ponyville.

Tinky Winky surveyed the area, taking in the partially-devastated scenery. To his left, in the distance, he saw what appeared to be a massive crater, surrounded by singed animals, many of which were pegasi that had been dumped from the ruins of Cloudsdale that loomed above. To his right, he spotted a collapsed cottage. Straight ahead, on the horizon, he spotted what appeared to be a town.

Tubby custard. He thought to himself, as if thinking "holy shit, I think someone beat us here."

For the first time in perhaps eons, Tinky Winky felt a twinge of worry. Had some other creature of unfathomable horror beaten them here and genocided the ponies he'd promised his pals? That couldn't be! He'd promised them new Noo-Noos. If something had taken that gift before he could even give it, he'd be sure to make them pay.

His worry replaced with anger, Tinky Winky marched towards the town on the horizon, his best buddies/most cherished pals following behind.

Their brisk pace made the trip a short one, and as they entered the first row of houses and businesses, Tinky Winky was delighted to find an absolute smorgasbord of Noo-Noo applicants cleverly disguised as ponies. Their disguises were made even more convincing by the utter lack of Teletubby shit in their mouths.

Due to their size and number, the ponies mulling about this meager plaza quickly took note of these new arrivals. Ordinarily, they'd have fled from a pack of unfamiliar giants, given their timid nature and the frequent near-destruction of the entire town. This time, however, they flocked to the fuzzy vagrants, in part due to their friendly appearance, but mostly just so they didn't look racist.

"Well hey there, fellers," greeted a grey pony with a grey mane and tail, with a cutie mark that was a dark grey block, "I'm Gary Gourdleaver: the least interesting-looking pony in Ponyville!"

The Teletubbies said and did nothing, opting to let things play out for a spell. Whether this was on a whim or because they were delighted by this loveable new character only time will tell.

"Wanna take a guess as to why folks call me that?" Gary inquired. "I'll give you a little hint."

Gary then pulled a gourd from seemingly out of nowhere before placing it on the ground nonchalantly.

"Stop harassing these enormous whatever-they-ares, Gary," cried a blue pony with a blue mane and tail, and a blue block for a cutie mark, "the name's Sally Citrusstealer, sorry about my husband, he can be a real gourdleaver if you catch my drift.

Tinky Winky did not catch her drift, what he did catch was her head in his hands. Like in that scene from Invincible where Omni-Man crushes that black guy's head, he squeezed, crushing Sally's head in an instant. Her brains oozed out of his fist like jelly, plopping on the ground beside her corpse.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH YOU MURDERED MY LOVING WIFE OF SIXTEEN YEARS!" Screamed Gary, his eyes going red with rage.

In an instant he produced a variety of gourds, pulling them from thin air. He threw the gourds at Tinky Winky as hard as he could, spiraling them into his tummy screen at the rate of a gatling gun.

Tinky Winky walked through the maelstrom of gourds like Cooler in his fourth form flying through Goku's Kaioken Kamehameha technique, completely unfazed. In moments he was right in front of Gary Gourdleaver, and with a mighty thrust of his palm, Tinky Winky sent him hurtling into a nearby wall.

He splattered against it with a wet thud, pasting across the abode instantly and painting it red and grey.

The other ponies in the surrounding area took note of this, and their reactions varied pony-to-pony. Some ran away, some stared slack-jawed, and an unfortunate few tried to muster some meager retaliation.

"YOU JUST MURDERED MY FUCKING LOVING BROTHER-IN-LAW OF SIXTEEN YEARS!" Screamed a dark red pony with a dark red mane and tail, and a dark red block for a cutie mark.

"Are all of you in on this killing spree?" The pony demanded, addressing the non-Tinky-Winky Teletubbies, "I won't allow that to happen, not me, Murphy Murderstopper."

"I've got your back, Murphy," stated Barry Backhaver, sworn ally of the Gourdleaver-Citrusstealer family.

"Us too," stated a nameless pair of identical ponies with enormous chins.

Together the four of them charged the Teletubbies, kicking the shit out of them with their powerful horse legs. Of course, these attacks weren't even on the level of a Crystal-brain Earth Pony soldier. As a result they bounded harmlessly off the tough hide of Dipsy and Laa-Laa respectively.

Despite the ineffectiveness of the assault, Dipsy and Laa-Laa took advantage of Stand Your Ground Laws. They each drew a big, cool gun from their assholesters and started blasting as per their second amendment rights(despite the fact that they are British).

The four-pony resistance was immediately hit with a bunch of bullets, and then the bullets did that thing bullets do when they come into contact with animal flesh. I forget.

With their attackers disposed of, the Teletubby gang frolicked ever further into Ponyville, searching for more ponies to play with.

Rufus kicked his feet and twiddled what I can only assume are thumbs, wondering if this is just what he gets for having sex out of wedlock like a degenerate. Of course, he needn't wonder, God will answer that question when he finally sends Rufus to the depths of hell where he belongs.

"No Applejack, no vagina," he sobbed, "no Ots'ehte, no magic energon powers."

He pulled the transvaginator out of one of his skinflaps and glowered at it forlornly, before picking up what remained of Applejack's vagina and placing it on his taint. He pressed the transvaginator up against his gooch/Applejack's pussy and pressed the "vaginate" button.

The device gave off a puff of noxious steam that spewed straight up and killed an overhead flock of birds, their carcasses splattering around Rufus in a perfect circle. Then, after some jostling, it emitted a deep, angry beep. Given his lack of futanari status, it was clear Applejack's crevice was too obliterated to work.

"Should've figured," he muttered, "I guess I'd better go see if Ots'ehte drowned in my ejaculate."

Before he scuttled off in the direction he'd launched whatever it was he'd been fucking, he crammed Applejack's vagina into one of his skin flaps as a keepsake. No way could he lose his first condom from his first time.

Once he'd stuffed the pussy into his flaps, he noted an uncomfortable feeling in his innards. His stomach gurgled, and another sound, akin to the sound of pouring water, rumbled forth from his gut. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his belly, and a pressure at his sphincter.

All at once his pert asshole expanded and contracted as a hoofball-sized shit almost identical to the one at the beginning of this story rocketed out of his anus with the speed of a cannonball. Rufus groaned and laid in the street momentarily before collecting himself and regaining his posture.

"I think that spaghetti disagreed with my tum-tum," remarked Rufus, "Applejack was wrong about that Italian place.Ah well, off I go."

Rufus had to walk for miles, a herculean task given his post-coital exhaustion. He felt both pride and annoyance that his ejaculation possessed such potency and pressure. Along with these feelings came a feeling of sadness at the thought that his new centipede friend might not have survived.

Out of concern for his friend(and hunger for power) Rufus pressed on, ignoring his fatigue. The bags under his eyes were so large they dragged on the ground, stretching until they caught under his sagging balls which also scraped along the floor. His trajectory was easy, just follow the arc he saw that thing he fucked take. This was made easier still by the line of cum that had dripped from her pussy onto the ground.

He followed the stream of jizz for half an hour before he finally caught a glimpse of his target. There she was, in all her purple glory. Rufus liked purple.

She was also completely unconscious, having been launched across an entire town.

Rufus scurried to the downed Noo-Noo, and made his way to its gaped, cum-soaked vagina.

"Ots'ehte, buddy, are you alright?" Called Rufus to what he hoped was a live ancient Vagyptian centipede.

"Ughjgghh," came a gurgle from inside.

Rufus plunged his entire arm deep into Twilight's private zone, feeling around in his caustic jizz until he felt his friend's little carapace. In a swift motion he pulled his pal out of the former-pony's pussy.

"Glad my cum didn't dissolve you," said Rufus earnestly.

"Please, my carapace is resistant to all acids."

"My cum is actually basic, not acidic."

"Even so…" Replied Ots'ehte before trailing off.

They shared an awkward silence.

"Well, here we are," the centipede continued, "this thing will surely be unconscious long enough, get out the transvaginator."

Rufus obliged with gusto, retrieving the device from his many folds.

"Before we go any further, maybe you could get rid of all this cum?"

Rufus rolled his eyes and stuck Ots'ehte into his mouth, along with the rest of his arm. With one swift suck he removed all the cum from both his arm and his friend, in a manner similar to when Tom from the Japanese anime Tom & Jerry eats every part of a fish but the bones.

After that he got on his hands and knees and slurped up all of his own cum out of Twilight's vagina, as well as a few pieces of Applejack. The texture was akin to beef stew. The flavor was not describable.

Once he'd finished recycling his nutrients just like his hero Chris-Chan, Rufus placed the transvaginator on Twilight's vagina and pressed the "devaginate" button for the second time in his life.

This time, once the noxious steam had taken its sacrifice from the bird population once again, the device emitted a pleasant ding, and a myriad of incredibly tiny mechanical saws sprung forth. Their delicate incisions were made with surgical precision, and in moments they had outlined Twilight's pussy in red. Once these initial incisions had been made, a series of thin metal arms delicately wormed into the cuts. They sliced deeper and deeper into the rivets of the purple Noo-Noo's flesh, the flexible blades curving around the misshapen pelvic bones.

After several minutes of surgical ministrations, the machine whirred as it retracted its surgical tools. The front of the machine opened, revealing a big suction cup, which, true to its name, cupped Twilight's vagina along the pre-made incisions, before sucking the entire thing out in one motion, ovaries and uterus included. In Rufus's opinion it looked like a bloody onahole[pocket pussy] with sackless balls and a wet balloon hanging from the end.

"Wow." He remarked.

"Yeah that's pretty gross, and as a five-or-ten thousand year old or whatever I've seen a lot of gross shit. Regardless, you should really be attaching it to your taint right now."

Rufus blushed, embarrassed that he'd forgotten, before applying the severed vagina to his taint with the machine.

He pressed the "vaginate" button, and immediately the machine sprung back to life.

"Well this is it, in mere minutes you'll be a being of unfathomable power," gushed Ots'ehte.

"Plus I'll be a dickgirl. That's really fuckin hot."

"Actually you'll be more of a cuntboy."

Rufus's eyes bulged out of his head, and the poor mole rat was forced to shove them back in. Once he'd done that, he grasped the transvaginator on his taint, trying to pull it off. But the process was simply too far along.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"