Kim Possible: A Sitch in Equestria

Moments earlier…

Twilight’s widdle wheels wizzed and whirred in a high-pitch dirvish as she bounced over leaves and branches like an RC car on horse steroids. She traveled over the forest floor with an unholy speed, spooking wildlife and deadlife both with the ease of her locomotion. At one point a little squirrel stopped cold in its tracks, fear-struck as she came speeding from the bushes on a direct collision course. While it hesitated with terror and indecision, she did not, and simply ran it over. It burst like a water balloon, propelling slick guts and simultaneously greasing her gears and coating her swollen nipples in the most satisfactory way. Now, it was dead in her tracks.

And on she went. Inside, her mind was telling her no, but her body… Her body was telling her yes! Despite her best efforts she couldn’t go against her captor’s commands. As she rolled over a particularly-familiar-looking rock, she realized she was nearly at town. Within minutes she’d be exiting the forest, and she’d lead those horrible demons right to all her friends, who would be promptly mashed like potatoes under the TeliTubbie's scrumptious feet.

On the bright side, this would make for one killer friendship report.

Momentarily distracted by these distressing thoughts, it was only when she finally exited the treeline did Twilight truly realize where she was. Within sight, she could see Fluttershy’s trashy house across the field, and she knew beyond that lay town. As close as she was now, it seemed her body wouldn’t let her take the scenic route, and she was set for a direct collision course for the house.

“Oh heckies,” she moaned, but inside her head, since she has a voice box within her frontal lobe like all ponies do. A shot of adrenaline pumped through her veins as she barreled full-speed towards the back door of Fluttershy’s home, and for a few brief moments she was able to take in the whole world in startling detail.

Her nostrils expanded to three-times their normal size allowing her to savor a wide variety of stenches; the musky stink of nature, the feminine reek of her own retched girl-parts mixing with her almost Applejack-like habit of farting that mixed stink clouds in with her dirt clouds and made tiny vortexis behind her, the spine-chilling miasma of decay which lay behind signalling her captors were ever close, and the stale smell of old piss and shit which came from Fluttershy’s halfway-obliterated home.

Her two eyes, already large in comparison to any normal living creature, expanded to 20% of their natural size as they soaked adrenaline from her surrounding face, making her not only see better, but also making her at least 20% cooler 8). Her gaze swept across the home, identifying wood. Then she saw the back window, at which crowded the dilapidated and mummified remains of dozens of animals. Their little paws were outstretched towards the light of the sun, yet they had no means of reaching it, and they shrivelled in their shit-stained prison.

Fluttershy really ought to take better care of her pets. Twilight thought innocently as she careened through the still-intact back door, splintering the old, rotted wood with ease. The shit-caked remains of the house and the shitrified(petrified in shit) animal corpses that dotted the destroyed innards of the house set off her new Noo-Noo instincts. In a flash she was slurping up every crusted flake of Touch's dried diarrhea from earlier. She could tell it was his from the taste. By the time she was done the house would've been spotless, if it weren't for the fact that there was broken furniture strewn about the interior. All at once her upgraded digestive tract processed and expelled her meal, unleashing a cyclone-inducing fart that smashed a weathered load-bearing post in the center. Her task complete, Twilight opted to head further into Ponyville.

Within seconds her body careened through a window, and she launched through the air, seemingly in slow-motion as glass shards and a cloud of dust spun around her. Then her gland reabsorbed all the adrenaline it had released causing her perception to go back to normal and she continued along. Behind her, the ravaged remains of Fluttershy's cottage gave a final pathetic creak, before collapsing inward.

Despite this sense of impending doom, it is nice to be home. Maybe I can run over Spike when I get back to the library. But she wasn’t heading to the library. At that very moment, a scent caught her attention. A particularly smelly smell of something that smelled both smelly and also like intense pharoahmones (two words cleverly-combined to describe pheromones given off by a king, or an alpha of sorts). One whiff and she was immediately dripping wet.

Her body needed no instructions, and she sped off towards the center of town to find the source with a renewed vigor. Ponies jumped out of the way as she sped full-tilt in a swerving, erratic display, not using turn-signals, in a way that could only be described as ‘Virginia driving’.

There was a loud squeaking in Rufus’ legs as he pumped the brakes, his absurdly-sweaty meat mast so close to Applejack’s ooey gooey cheesy girl-zone that her crabs had to go around it on their daily commute to work (chewing that dank puss-puss), and his whole body shuddered and whirred as he sat in neutral as though at a red light, and not the kind of red light from a red light district which would make sense considering the sexual connotation, but more like the kind on a road because this is a metaphor for cars not that area downtown where sex workers go about their business.

There was a rush of air as all heads in the area turned at once, dozens of blood-shot eyes locking onto the android Twilight as she came to a shrieking halt on the pavement, kicking up loose bits of asphalt. They simply stared at each other for several long moments. Twilight, confused at what she’d just wandered into, couldn’t help but have her gaze drawn to the ‘elephant in the room’. By which I mean Rufus’ erect peni. And she gasped, the butterflies in her stomach giving one last desperate escape as they beat against her tummy walls before succumbing to her digestive juices like the rest of their kin.

Applejack looked at Twilight’s slick new wheel legs, and couldn’t help but be a bit jealous of her kick-ass rims. Then her eyes sunk lower, down to her bulging belly. It was so stretched and distorted it nearly dragged against the ground, and the hair was so thin she could clearly see Twilight’s stark-white skin and belly button underneath her purple fur coat. Twilight is an outie by the way. She was about to comment on this, when a low grinding sound interrupted her thoughts, sounding kinda like the Rock Biter’s rock balls rubbing against his rock cock when he shifts in his sleep.

Everyone looked over to see Rufus, his teeth grinding together with such irate anger that flecks of calcium dust radiated from his mouth like a gamma ray burst. His eyes, oh his eyes, swollen to thrice their size with blood, likely stolen from his wee-wee which has grown ever flaccid at this sudden interruption. They stared metaphorical daggers into Twilight, and as his member softened, releasing Twilight’s gaze, her eyes turned skyward and caught his sending shivers down her spine.

Seconds ticked by, seeming to Twilight as though they had been something longer than seconds as he bore down on her with all the fury he could manage to expel through only his ocular orbs. This was an inefficient way of transferring anger, though, and after a few moments he decided to use his words like a grown-up.

He breathed in deep, his patience gland expelling years of pent-up goop into his lungs in an attempt to keep him from exploding, but even that was just enough to keep him on the edge.

“What the absolute heckies do you think you’re doing?” The calm of his voice seemed but a veil, an illusion, as despite his seemingly-careless words his demeanor was intense, and his buck-ass mole rat fangs peeked from his layers of lips, already glistening with fresh venom.

She knew she’d have to choose her words carefully if she was to avoid the ire of this apex predator, yet Twilight had no mouth, and she must converse! Instead she simply stared back, her body betraying any urge she had to run, knowing the demons would be here soon and she could not deny their wishes.

Rufus’ face began to crumple like a tissue after I’ve finished cumming into it angrily, and he was about to release a verbal tirade that could put even a navy-seal-copypasta to shame, when Applejack spoke.

“Those are some dope treads gurl, also since when are you pregnant?” But she said it with a western drawl which you’ll read in your head.

Twilight was momentarily taken aback.

I’m not pregant… But as she looked at her bulbous belly, still jiggling back and forth from her momentum a few moments before, sloshing with the telltale squelching of vital goo, she knew she was gestating life. Then she thought back to her last moments with Noo-noo, and how he’d came so much inside her he should have won a cumpetition. Now she’d give birth out of wedlock and her parents wouldn’t love her any more…

“Answer the heck-dang question!” Rufus sneared, the dried patience goo coating his lungs coming away in flakes which he expunged from his body with each wrathful exhale. Then his eyes, thrice their normal size and absolutely filled with blood, giving him red-vision, finally picked up what he should have noticed earlier. He was about to speak when Applejack, through a miracle of modern computing, came to the same conclusion on her own.

“She aint got no mouth,” she explained for the rest of the ponies and stray dogs in the alleyway who all nodded and spoke amongst themselves as they finally understood.

“What,” Rufus asked, turning and directing his horribly eyes on the object of his sexual desire, who was still in a position as though expecting to be thrashed by his cock at any moment. “How can she not have a mouth? From where, then, does she poop?”

These were the hard questions, and though Twilight had no mouth, she sincerely wished to answer his question by presenting her backside. With a three-point turn, she spun 180, revealing her percolating pony posterior, at the center of which squatted a prolapsed fart-dispenser swollen as large as a mango.

Rufus’ breath caught in his throat as his eyeballs scanned the rough red folds of her innards turned outards, and for the second time in several paragraphs it was confirmed that Twilight is indeed an outie. Just below that hung her pony vagina, still glistening with the morning dew that was quickly drying from the asphalt’s oppressive heat.

“Damn,” Ot’sehte muttered from the tip of Rufus’ dick, which had grown about 20% less flaccid upon seeing this.

“Darn,” mirrored Rufus, who never says swears.

But she wasn’t down yet, as Twilight had an idea. An awful idea. Twilight had a wonderful, awful idea.

If I can’t speak through my mouth, I’ll let my farts talk for me instead!. She strained, her forehead wrinkling like a tissue after I’ve cummed into it with great effort, and her gaping backdoor inched open like a clam, breathing out in a husky exhale.

“Ara ara~ I’m Twilight, sorry for interrupting but you’re all in great danger!” She farted.

Rufus could hardly believe his ears as that pony ass just spoke to him! He gasped, then breathed deep, knowing if he couldn’t trust his ears he could at least trust his lungs. Sure enough, as he vacuumed in a whiff of her posterior breeze, the sensory organs in his lungs were able to deduce that these were indeed fart molecules. With a slow, meaningful exhale that dredged every last trace of patience from his body, Rufus gave Twilight’s rump another look, noticing for the first time in his life that he liked the color purple.

She strained and grunted, only through intense mental fortitude and anal control being able to form her farts into coherent speech, “demons from the Everfree forest are coming to slaughter you all! You need to run away immediately!”

However, her farts fell on deaf ears, as Rufus admired her farting asshole with a kind of respect only mirrored by the few connoisseurs who could truly understand art. His eyes deflated as his cock and balls slurped every available bit of blood from his body, growing to a monstrous size and nearly strangling Ot’sehte.

“Hey, are you even listening?” Twilight tooted, turning her head only to see that Rufus cock, previously a respectable length, had doubled- no tripled!- in size. She felt a strong compelling urge to run, feeling an impending sense of danger, but could not move her body with all the willpower she could muster.

Applejack suddenly picked up on where this was going, and her bedroom eyes became angry eyes as she saw Twilight was trying to seduce her man.

“Ah’ll tear out yer nappy-ass weave if’n ya don’ stop that, ho!” she screeched, inspecting her hoof nails, which she’d recently got did.

Seeing Rufus turn fully away from her and begin towards the purple one, Applejack did the only thing she could think of, she jumped onto his leg and tried to pull. Despite her impressive retard strength gained from kicking many a tree, Rufus continued forward, his cock guiding him like a compass, and she tore divots in the pavement where her hooves attempted to stop him.

With his blood-deprived brain, Rufus finally looked down, noticing that she was also pregnant, which checked another of his many fetishes, including amputation, cyborgs, prolapsed anuses, farting, and recently the color purple, all of which she fulfilled.

“Damn son, bouta get all up in this RC car,” Ot’sehte bragged, putting on his little helmet as he prepared for entry.

“Wait, don’t do this,” Twilight fart-pleaded. This only made his rock harder as he’s also into non consensual sexual aggression.

“I’m a virgin!” She fart-lied.

“Well, an anal virgin.” She fart-relented.

“Not for long,” Rufus whispered, but realized she likely couldn’t hear him over the warbling striations of his ‘uge cock that could only be described as ‘penis music’.

“Not for long,” he said a bit louder this time, “I hope you like your eggs Benedict Arnold, because I’m gonna scramble them over eaaaaasy!”

“I don’t have any eggs, I’m pregnant,” she fart-explained.

Applejack, seeing that her dragging wasn’t working, desperately searched for another option to avoid her new girlfriend-free boyfriend from doing it with her boyfriend-free bestfriend.

“Think, think, think!'' She urged her brain, and with all the mental fortitude she could muster a single solitary neuron fired, its electrical impulse traveling down barren, empty streets of brain matter in the post-thoughtpocolyptic ruins that are Applejack’s mental faculties. However, by some miracle, perhaps the grace of an unknown divine being, or perhaps mediocre writing by me, the author, she got an idea (A wonderful, awful idea).

If she couldn’t stop him, she’d simply steal him. After all, he was hers in the first place. Getting between them, she positioned herself just right, before jumping up and clamping on his gargantuan cock. Her overused flaps stretched like the grand canyon, able to easily fit the girth of his member. After Touch Down’s many epileptic fits inside her pussy, it was all but destroyed, but Rufus’ penis had an impressive girth and gave off microvibratorial pulses that even she could feel.

This stimulation, and the need to keep him away from Twilight, was enough for her pussy to clamp up like a bear trap, encasing his dick in her powerful muscles with enough force to flatten a lesser dick as though it was 4pm. Had Rufus felt the need to crush his cock with a rock and endure maximum pain, sticking it inside her jealous pussy would have been a reasonable substitute. However, his hard-on was so powerful at this very moment, even the monolithic strength of her tree-kicking vagina walls couldn’t phase him.

Ots'ehte spat out from the tip distastefully. “I can’t believe I wanted to come inside this wretched place.”

A sentiment that Rufus seemed to share as he simply ignored Applejack as she rode his dick, moving slowly and deliberately towards Twilight who could not move and could not look away.

“Oh come on!” Twilight fart-yelled, frustrated that his friend’s efforts were in vain. However a new feeling welled up inside her, and it took her a moment to realize that she actually kinda wanted to be fucked by this naked pink rat.

He is kinda hot… she fart-thought to herself through the rectum in her frontal lobe.

After only a few more steps Rufus was standing before Twilight, his member wrapped in the protective embrace of Applejack, as though she wished to use her own body as a condom. Or, perhaps caught in her own pleasure she simply threw caution to the wind. Either way, she would not stop him.

A growing sense of excitement grew around them and all the onlooking ponies began quietly cheering them on, unaware of the growing danger, or perhaps just more interested in the outcome of these events than self-preservation.

Knowing she couldn’t stop him, and perhaps not even wanting to, Twilight farted out one final request as Rufus lined himself with her one-eyed purple peepee eater, “Please be gentle.”

But Rufus didn’t know the meaning of ‘gentle’, and he rammed his dick into her like a runaway semi into a molehill. There was a wretched tearing sound as an unstoppable force tried to force an immense object into a small space, and the small space was forced to concede. Twilight lurched forward, eyes wide while her brakes screeched full force to stop her forward momentum. She could feel with intimate detail as Applejack’s upper body, cradling his cock like a glove, contorted inside her with an ungodly squelching.

A mixture of blood and cum jettisoned from her backside, the blood a mixture of her own and that of Applejack, who’d been partially crushed, her grizzly innards now recycled as lubricant for the horrific sex machine that is Rufus, and the cum from Applejack’s orgasm, perfectly-timed with his thrust into her vagina which would crush her into Applejacksauce.

“AHHHHH!” Twilight fart-screamed, her hot, humid ass blast gas condensing on Rufus’ thick pubic bush like morning dew in the rainforest and mixing into the blood and cum creating a sort of primordial sludge, inside which micro organisms thrived.

With a herculean effort, Rufus pulled his cock from her vagina like excalibur, its end dripping in an unholy display, before thrusting it back in with just as much force. This time it went in even further, masticating the remains and opening Twilight even more.

For her part, she was forced to put all her effort into reversing, and she spun out like a hydroplaning RC car as she attempted to counteract the pushing force from behind. He pulled out and then thrust again, then again, all this happening in mere seconds, but to Twilight they felt like minutes.

“Aw yeah, daddy!” Twilight fart-gasped, making Rufus somehow even hornier as he’s also into incest causing him to speed up to an impressive twenty-four thrusts per second. To the naked eye, it would seem like he wasn’t even moving, yet the spray of fluid would suggest otherwise.

By now, Applejack was more like an Apple Snack Pack, and her greasy remains jettisoned like flack, hitting the ponies in the back with a red smack attack. So masticated and liquified was she by this thrusting that Rufus’ dick finally came free from its meaty confines and it was able to enjoy Twilight in earnest for the first time. This sudden, liberating freedom sent shivers up Rufus' spine, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he sent his scalding load straight into her ovaries.

His balls let out a high-pitched squeal like a kettle on the stove, and his cock was vibrating at frequencies that traveled down through Twilight into the ground and broke glass in the surrounding houses. Twilight had all she could withstand and came, not able to match Rufus’ constitution, and her cum further defiled her friend’s corpse.

Rufus knew he’d reached his end, the pressure inside his penis had grown such that it would pop if not for the layers of rubber-like flesh, he stopped thrusting as he sunk his dick in up to the base and leaned back lifting Twilight off the ground and towards the sky. For a moment, she stared up at the clouds, admired the flitting birds, and the freedom of the great blue, before a pressure built inside her as well.

Rufus let out a mighty roar, his every muscle clenching in time with his testicles which crumpled like a tissue after I squeezed all the cum from it, expunging their putrid, 200-degree load of caustic semen through his urethra. The goop exploded forth with all the power and majesty of a volcanic eruption, filling every inch of Twilight’s uterus in an instant and, with nowhere else to go, it created a cum vacuum which could do nothing but expand.

There was a loud pop as Twilight, aided by Applejack, launched from his dick at high speeds, a trail of foamy semen expanding behind her like the ploom of smoke from a rocket. Within moments she was gone from view, carried upward with force into the great unknown.

Rufus let out a sigh, and sat down to bask in the afterglow. “Looks like we finally did it, buddy,” he said to Ots'ehte, before realizing that he, too, was gone. “Oh… yeah…”

For the first time in a long time, Rufus felt truly alone. He looked at his hands, wondering if this post-nut depression was truly what he’d wanted.