Silence. That was what had filled the room right now. A stunned and foreboding silence had filled the room like a dank fog at the display of cruelty, practically choking any words the ponies could say long before they left their mouths. For a moment, no-one was able to say anything to the creature across the hall. Honestly though, who could blame them? A pony was just turned to stone right in front of their eyes.

"Hehhe, you should see the looks on your faces right now." The humanoid chucked sadistically. "I'd take a picture, but you see I'm a bit pressed for time right now. Ponies to terrorize, lives to ruin, you understand." He shrugged his shoulders. "But don't worry your sweet little head princesses, I'll take good care of your kingdom while your away." Now that got the ponies attention.

"What do you mean?" the ruler of the sun asked in a calm yet, commanding way, and no doubt trying not to give in to a urge to simply end him where he stood, "What have you done with the 'Elements of Harmony'? Who are you?" Despite the fact that he was getting was yelled; scratch that, sternly talked to in a tone that demanded respect, at by a being that could literally send him on a first-class banishment to the moon, he was rather calm about it. In fact, he actually seemed rather bored. Heck, he even yawned at her.

"Really? He asked disbelieving, "That's really all you're going to ask?" He then sighed, placing the heel of his right hand to his forehead, the gun in his grasp probably the only thing preventing him from face-palming. "I swear, next you'll probably say that I'll, 'never get away with it'. I mean really, how many more cliches are you going to toss out?" He sighed again before looking at the ponies with a deadpanned expression, before saying, "Daddy D. was right, you are grim and boring. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but as it turns out-" He was thankfully interrupted, when Rainbow Dash shouted out, "Hey! No-pony insults the princess!" before charging him, completely ignoring her friends cries to stop.

"Oh please." He mocked with a grin, before he did something that completely defied the laws of physics. After hopping in the air for a split-second, he fell down though his shadow while one of his hands reached up to grab his hat that had somehow stayed right where he'd jumped, before pulling it in with him. I'm not kidding here, he really did all of that. It shouldn't be possible but he- Wait a minute. I've seen that move before, but where?

"What the-" was all the Zap-apple haired mare was able to get out before a Tom-boulder-sized boxing glove on a spring shot out of his shade, slamming into her with enough force to level a tank and launching her straight though the roof in a colored streak, reminiscent of her name sake. All the while accompanied by his shout of, "OUTTA' THE WAY, SKITTELS!" before dispersing into a puff of smoke as he popped back out. He cackled for a second, before turning to the group before giving them the come-hither or 'bring it on' sign.

"Next?' He intoned.

"R'ght here, ya long armed varmint!" Came the southern call of the Apple farmer as she charged his position, but he was ready for her. With a quick twirl his outfit changed to that of a Spanish matador, he even had a handle-bar mustache that honestly looked pretty good on him.

Pulling open the red cape, he started taunting her with multiple cries of, 'Torro'. Honesty I shouldn't have been surprised that she fell for his taunting, she even snorted just like a bull. She charged, no doubt ready to rip him a new one, only for him to side-step her advance...revealing that he had an anvil hidden behind his cape, that Applejack ran headlong into.

"O'lay" He quipped sarcastically.

"Enough!" Ow, okay. You know how I said earlier how I didn't want to know how the, 'traditional ye olde Canterlot voice' sounds in real life. Well it turns out I really didn't need to hear it in person. I honestly believe that if I was of flesh and blood, she would have blown my eardrums. "We shall only ask once more. Who art thou, and what have thou done with the 'Elements of Harmony'?" Please make her stop, she's scaring Fluttershy.

"Well if that's all you wanted, you should have just asked," He mocked, his outfit reverting back to normal as he did. "I go by many names, my favorite of which being, the 'Diamond Ace' hence the card in my hat, but the name I'm most known for is, the 'Blue Loon' I suppose." Well that accomplished nothing. The name really doesn’t mean anything to anyone here but to confirm he’s crazy, and I figured that much by his appearance alone.

"As for the Elements," He grinned, before tossing the magical necklace high into the air, and unloading another round on it. In an instant, the artifact shattered into a hundred pieces, enacting gasps from pony and wind-up toy alike. But can you blame us. He just broke the only chance of stopping him with barely any effort, and inevitably dooming Equestria. I think that's more than enough reason to-*Flash* What the?

"Faaabulous, that one's is SO going in my scrap-book." Apparently, while we were gawking at the improbable, he had whipped out a camera and snapped off a shot of our faces. "Oh relax, that one was a fake." He laughed, slipping the camera behind his back. "You didn't honestly think I would break them this early on in the game did you."

"Game!?" Pinkie echoed/squeed. "What kind of game? Huh, huh? Is it a super-fabulous-extra-special-fun game?" I tried to ignore her and Twilight's indigent shout of "Pinkie!"

"Yep, but unfortunately the stage isn't completely set just yet. It still needs-" he cut himself off, before scratching his left temple. "Wait, hold on a sec." He pulled out a book from behind his back, that was titled, 'How to be Evil for dummies, 1990 collector’s edition' and despite the fact that he had couldn't possibly read it, said. “Let’s see now. Item one; cause an epidemic that causes the heroes to head to the castle. I did that. Item two; swipe the weapon(s) used by the heroes so that they can't use them against you. Yep, did that too. Item three; humiliate one or more of said heroes. Heh, check. Ah, here we go. Item four; capture a member of royalty as an incentive for the hero or heroes to chase you." He turned his empty gaze towards the ponies, "Normally I don't like kidnapping, but rules are rules."

"We'll stop you." I turned unseen to Twilight and thought to myself, ‘We? Who's this 'we' you speak of Sparkle?’

"Oh please!" He exclaimed before hoping into his shade again, "You can't even touch me!" The second he said that, he popped out of the ground holding open a burlap sack. Only instead of his own shadow, he came out of Celestia's before proceeding with her capture. Far faster then anypony could react, he grabbed her before slipping back into his shadow, and reappearing back at the end of hall where he slammed the sack in the ground. "Like I said." Naturally, Luna responded to this in a proper manner befitting the situation.

"Release our sister foul creature, or thou shalt be sentenced to a place that even the greatest of thy nightmares would tremble in fear!" Luna threatened him, complete with lighting sounding off in the distance, her loud voice shaking the panes of the stain-glass windows, but whether it was from the volume or the furious undertones, I will never know.

However, instead of cowering in fear like she expected, Ace only scowled, looked off to one side for some reason, and said in one of the most malicious tones I have ever heard, "I think she wants to communicate." Turning back to the non-bagged princess, he reached behind his back and pulled out a small squeeze horn, causing her and the ponies to raise their eyebrows in confusion, and my eyes to do another wonderful interpretation of designer plates. Why? Because, if my love of cartoons taught me anything, it's NEVER underestimate a crazed toon with a common household item.

So regardless of my own safety, I shouted out in a surprisingly loud voice, "COVER YOUR EARS!" The ponies jumped slightly in shock, no doubt wondering where my voice came from, before most of them, to my greatest relief, realized I was trying to help even if they couldn't see me, and followed my advice, even hitting the floor and covering their ears with their arms(front legs?) as they did so. Unfortunately, two of them didn't get the memo.

The first being Pinkie Pie, who was turning around in little circles, possibly trying to look at the back of her head, no doubt in an attempt to find me. Normally, this would look kinda cute, but right now all she was doing was being aggravating. The other being Luna, who was still standing strong and glaring at Ace, no doubt not trusting my words, and possibly believing them to be a trick, something that I would normally respect, but right now it just served to frustrate me.

In the formers case, her friends thankfully pulled her down when they saw her being 'Pinkie'. The latter however, barely got her mouth open, possibly to threaten Ace again, before he squeezed the horn. Instantly, the tiny brass horn expanded in size one hundred fold, somehow gained a long slimy tongue, and let out the LOUDEST "Awooga!" sound I have ever heard! By Faust! If Luna's voice would have shattered my eardrums, the sonic blast from that horn would have not only done that, but it would have blown my head onto a nice brain smoothie. And if you think I'm just exaggerating, listen to this.

You know how the stain-glass windows only shuddered when Luna used the loud, 'traditional ye olde Canterlot voice'? Well, when he used that horn, the whole thing shattered, as well as every window within twenty miles of us, and sent the princess flying backwards into the tower, the doors of which slammed shut right after her.

"Hehe, he tried to warn you, but you just wouldn't listen." Ace mocked, seemingly uncaring that I just saved four of the main Six from Luna's fate. Though, the fact that they were probably all but deaf now was probably the reason. Which begs the question; why did he bother mocking them? "Besides, you have more important things to worry about Lulu. For you see-" His evil grin returned, as he raised his leg up high, right above the struggling sack, before driving it right into the center with bone-shattering force...only for the bag to burst into a spray of confetti and streamers upon impact. Had me going for a minute there.

"The princess is in another castle!" Ace finished with a laugh, though it was obviously for himself, as no-one else was thought it was funny. That or they were still recovering. Regardless of this fact, Twilight shouted, "What have you done with princess Celestia!?" Clearly one of us missed something important in the past moment.

"Oh, don't worry about 'bout her." he said reaching into his pants pocket, before presenting a snow-globe. Looking inside as best I could from Pinkie's mane, I was able to see that it had a replica of Canterlot castle, as well as a yellow beam impacting the glass to no effect. What was that? "She's right here, watching over her new castle. Hey, check it out" He grinned, before he began mercilessly shaking it like a maraca at a fiesta. "Look at that. Snow!" Cackling, he put the globe back in his pocket. I swear, you have no idea how much I want to hit him.

"Give back the Princess!" Twilight, really please, just stop. I know your trying but you're not threatening. "Aww, does wittle Twily want her mentor back?" See? Even he agrees with me. "Well if you want her back so much, you'll have to catch me first." I'm really not liking the look in his...eyes? For a moment, it looked like they were going to take him up on his challenge.

"Look out below" He said sarcastically. Well that came out of nowhere.

Or so I thought, because a moment after his call, Rainbow finally returned from orbit, surprisingly undamaged, but unfortunately for all involved, she crashed into the girls and caused a pony pile-up. Taking a moment to laugh at our misfortune, Ace hopped into the air, and with a loud, "See ya suckers!" he run out the doors; Road runner style.

Pulling themselves free, and waking up Applejack, Twilight took charge. "Come on girls, we've got to stop him." Understandably, some of the girls, Fluttershy especially, were hesitant to continue, but they chased after him regardless. And I swear, I felt like I fell into a Yakety sax cartoon, because what happened next left my mind boggling.

First, they chased him down the hall for a few minutes when he suddenly hung a left. Naturally, so did they, only to catch him going left, and down another hallway. Then he took a left followed by another left which lead to another left, which…you know what? We were basically running around in a big circle, or square technically.

After about three minutes of that, at the last second before making a left turn, he instead made a right and pressed himself against the wall with one of his eyes peeking out from the corner. 'They're never going to fall for that,' I thought to myself. "Come on! We've got dat varmint now" Applejack called out as she pulled ahead....and hung a left down the wrong hall, her friends following her the whole way. I ended up face-palming from that.

After a few minutes, Ace finally couldn't stand the display, and his laughter brought them out of their gag, where they began the chase anew. After a minute or so, he made an abrupt turn, and jumped though the frame of one of the many broken windows. "I've got him this time!" Rainbow shouted, more then ready to follow him and just a few seconds away from tackling him before proceeding to knock the living day lights out of him. Unfortunately, just before she could, he somehow built a solid brick wall in the frame in two seconds, flat. The time of which, just so happens to be 0.98 seconds faster then she was. Well, needless to say, I face-palmed harder.

After Ace did the impossible by opening the brick wall like a door, and the girls taking a moment to pry Dash off of said wall, we were off, again. This time, they tried being a bit more sneaky in their approach. When they hit a long section of hallway, Twilight teleported the the other side where he couldn't see her and grabbed a bust of some-pony, waiting for him to pass so that she could clobber him with it. However, he pulled a fast one on us by stopping short, and giving us a, "Ladies first." And believe me, I dropped my jaw when they, or rather Rarity, fell for it hook line and sinker. My face-palm was only surpassed by the sound of plaster shattering on her skull.

Then, Pinkie got this crazy idea to use the 'forth wall' against him. Now I bet your wondering, 'what does the fourth wall look like?' Well I couldn't tell you. Now, it's not that I wouldn't tell you, I'd love to as a matter of fact, it's just that I couldn't. One second we were one place, she ducks behind a flower pot, then the next thing I know we're behind Ace. I literally didn't see anything the whole time. Just as well, my mind might have melted from whatever pure awesomeness was in there.

Unfortunately, he was ready for her with a massive sledge-hammer. Thank Faust I had my bubble, or else I might have been nothing more then crushed pieces imbedded in Pinkie's squishy head. It didn't help that he made a bad comparison joke about that darn 'Wack-a-Mole' game and Pinkie. And no, I will not repeat said joke because I don't wish to be put on the M rating.

Fluttershy thankfully got off easy. Their plan was to get him to give up, by having her give him the 'Stare'. At first, things were going well. She caught up to him and administered a full powered 'Stare' on him. "How dare you?" She said, getting up in his face. "How dare you! Listen here, mister. Just because you're bigger doesn't mean you get to be a bully. Just who do you think you are, going around turning others into stone? You should be ashamed of yourself! I have half a mind to find your mother and tell her what you've been up to, young man! Now you go over there and turn all those ponies back to normal - and don't ever let me catch you doing this again! Do you understand me? Because you do not- I repeat- You do not! Hurt! My! Friends! You got that?" Ace stood there the whole time, empty eyes wide in, what I assumed to be shock and fear, so for a moment I thought it worked.

I honestly should have known better. "How dare I?" he asked, the brim of his hat shadowing his face as he spoke, anger in every syllable. "Who do you think you are? Listen up toots, because I'm going to be very clear here. I'm a fully grown man, and no one- I repeat- NO one tells me what to do. You're not my mother, and you should be bloody happy about that. Because unlike you, she kicked the bucket a long time ago, so don't get it into your head that you can control me like a five year old brat. Your princess can't, my mother can't, and you especially can't tell me what I can and can't do. So if you don't mind, BACK OFF!" His final shout nearly blew her off her hooves and I could tell it scared her badly. Heck it scared me and I used to watch SAW and laugh at it.

However, just as she was about to run and hide, no doubt in tears, he grinned and said, "Fooled ya!" before pulling her into a hug. "Oh, I just love messing with you ponies. You always have the most interesting expressions. So sorry 'bout the scare there, but I couldn't resist. Don't take it personally, I've been waiting to use that one for a long time. Oh and just so you know, I don't enjoy turning ponies to stone. I'm just doing what I'm paid to do." And with that, he was gone, but now before leaving a poetic comment. "Word to the wise, the 'Stare' works better when you look them in the eyes." leaving a traumatized Pegasus behind. Wait, he's getting paid?

Moving on, the chase continued and faster then you can say, 'what transition?' we were in front of the Royal Sculpture Garden. Unfortunately, we lost him when he pulled a fast one by painting a picture of said garden on one of the walls, before jumping though it, resulting in the girls having to take the long way around. "Dang nabbit! Where'd dat snake in the grass get to?" Applejack angrily asked, still peeved after hearing what he did to Fluttershy, who was still being comforted by Pinkie. Frankly though, who can blame her?

"The painting had the garden maze on it, he's got to be here somewhere." Thanks Twilight for pointing out something we already know. I'd give you a prize, but I'm a little short.

"Oh I'm here alright." I can hear him, but I can't see him. Where- "but you'll have to play my little game first, that is, if you want your precious elements back" Oh, well that explains it. He's speaking with magic to keep us from finding him as easily. Clever, a bit cliche, but still pretty clever. I watched as they looked at each other, probably doing their 'silent conversations again, and I'm reeally getting tired of being left out of the loop.

"What game are you talking about?" The moment Twilight asked this, a rather large hourglass appeared in a magic flash. However, there were some things that were...off about it. For one, there was no sand in it. Instead, in the top part of the glass, a stone statue of, believe it or not, Discord sat, and in the bottom sat a different statue of...Discord? For two, the thing towered over the girls at roughly ten feet, and both the top and the bottom had golden figurines of both of the princesses. And finally, at the base of the fixture stood, "Hello again!" Ace.

"You!" Oh boy, here we go again. You'd think Dash would learn by now. "Come on, put 'em up! I'm not afraid of you! Come on, Marquess of Queensbury rules! Let's go!" she said, hopping on her back hooves and 'punching' the air with her fronts like a boxer...Only to get a pie to the face for her trouble. "Coconut cream" Okay, a coconut cream pie to the face. Wait, what? How did he?

"It's quite the simple game really, only a few rules, nothing much." Without even waiting for a response, he started listing the 'game rules'. "The first rule of our game is simple, no flying, and no magic. He 'looked' up for a moment while hmm-ing before continuing with, "But, because I'm such a good sport, I won't take your wings or horns. He chuckled a bit, "After all, how can you break a rule without something to tempt you with? The second rule is, every-pony has to play, or the game is over, and I win. Now for the BIG rule. See this?" he asked, taping the glass, "This here is your time limit."

"Our time limit? Until what?" Twilight asked, and I swear his grin couldn't have gotten anymore evil and malicious. "Why, until I bust out Discord from his cold hard shell that you ungrateful ponies left him in." and just like that his happy grin was back, but that didn't take away the fear now gripping at the ponies hearts. Well, most of them anyway. I didn't even need to see Pinkie's face to know that she was smiling when she muttered, "Chocolate rain." Once again, you shouldn't be surprised by the fact that I double face-palmed. HARD!

"Are you crazy!" Twilight yelled. "Why would you want to free him!" I don't know. Maybe he's like me and only wants him free in order to get some petty revenge. He could also be a cultist trying to free his master. Heck for all I know, he could be Discord's son. The fact that he's even here is the thing I'm most concerned about right now. How that heck did he get here anyway? However, my questions will have to wait.

"Because that's what I'm being paid to do. Now pipe down, so that I can finish." Reluctantly, she backed down. "Now as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted. At the center of the hedge-maze, your princesses placed Discord's statue. Incidentally, I've also hidden the 'Elements of Harmony' though out the inside of said maze. Your mission is to find your trinkets before the hourglass chimes in about two hours. However, to make things more interesting, I've filled the whole thing with booby-traps." He snickered, for immature reasons. "Some of them are harmless, like the bubble trap, or the one that sprays you with chocolate milk," From Pinkie's happy giggle, I could tell she's going to be looking for that one. "but some of them are very dangerous, like the pitfall trap filled with cobras, or one of my personal favorites, the smashy-spike plate that impales while it flattens." I think I now know the reason he wants to free Discord. He's bloody insane!

"Why on earth would you make us have to go though such lengths when you could finish us off right now?" Rarity, now is not a good time to point that out to the crazy guy, who happens to have a gun. "Because, it's more fun this way." See? He just proved my point. "Well since I can see most of you don't want to play, how's about a bet?" Don't fall for it. Please.

"What kind of bet?" Why Applejack, why? "Well, if you win; by that I mean getting your elements and getting to the statue on time without breaking the rules, I'll give you one free shot with your super-rainbow-beam-thingy" Really? Well, that's rather sporting of him. "However, if you lose," he whipped out his gun again, and reloaded it with a flourish. "I'll turn you to stone, just so that you can see how Discord feels." See, he's insane. Back out now while you still can!

"Traps, smaps." No, Rainbow don't! "We'll find the elements, no problem." For the love of- "I just knew you'd see things my way" His smirk was back, "Good luck! Your going to need it." and with that he was gone again. I sighed. Looks like we're going in. "Come on girls." Twilight said, "As long as we stick together, we'll never lose!" Let's hope your right for once Twi. Let's hope your right.

Author's Note

I got the second Discord from here. Feel free to check it out, he's got some nice work.

It's official, I need a beta reader, and an editor or two. It's come to my attention that I've just been bumbling though this whole time, by myself, and even with my extensive vocabulary, and the assistance of HartLord's helpful comments, it's obvious that my relatively poor grammar skills, as well as my minor understanding of the the minds of the cast, plus my reliance on the spell checker are all damaging what could be a great story. Because of this, I will be holding off on updates for a while, until I can find someone to help me fix these issues. Now this doesn't mean that I'm going to put it on hiatus, because I've tried doing that with another story, only to forget about it about a month later, and when I tried to pick up where I left off, I couldn't figure out what I had been writing in the first place, something I detest doing. No, I will continue writing even while I look, I just won't be publishing anything till I find someone to help. This might take awhile.