---Protean---

“Go to the Sugarcube Corner early, Bookish. You can buy yourself something to eat, and then you’ll definitely not be late.”

My mock-Twilight voice doesn’t even feel fun, and it gets me a capital L Look from across the counter. Yes, so sour is my mood that even a glower from Pinkie Pie doesn’t dissuade me from complaining.

“I’ve been waiting here for nearly an hour, Pinkie. It feels like I’ve ordered half the menu, and the mare Twilight said would be tutoring me still isn’t here.”

I sigh exaggeratedly, and rest my head on the counter dejectedly.

“Aw, don’t look so down in the dumps! Besides, if she were running late, I’m sure my Pinkie Sense would’ve let me know to tell you! Well, probably!”

Sweet Celestia, she just doesn’t shut up. There’s something infuriating about somepony so relentlessly cheerful, even in the face of something so irritating. It goes against the grain, almost- telling you that you’re wrong to be annoyed or sad. Annoyingly, Pinkie tends to be right in her assessments of the sort, but that just makes her even more unbearable.

Just then, the doors swung open for the first time since I walked in earlier, revealing the very pony who had so graciously kept me waiting for so long. Octavia Melody, grey-coated earth pony, talented cellist, and my tutor in all those subjects I can’t manage on my own. She stood with grace and poise, not taking a step into the shop until her eyes settled on me, at which point she walked over to greet me with a smile on her face.

I’d seen her briefly at my party the other day, and I suspected Twilight was hoping we’d be introduced to each other there, but alas, without any prompting, I hadn’t quite managed that.

“Sorry I’m late Bookish, I had quite the Eventful Morning thanks to my roommate…”

“Hey, these things happen!” I say, forcing a cheery smile on my face. “I could hear the capital E and M there, what happened?”

She smiles slightly, and beckons me to follow her to a booth over by the window.

“Vinyl Scratch happened,” she sighs. “She can be quite… inscrutable?”

Ah. I’ve heard of her. Or perhaps it would be more apt to say that I’ve heard her, sometimes even from the other side of town. I didn’t know they lived together though, the idea that the two could get along doesn’t quite fit my image of either. Maybe I made too surface-level a judgement of the two?

I nod politely at her comment about Vinyl, and we sit down. Octavia shrugs off her saddlebags, letting them fall onto the table between us. It’s only now that they’re on the table that I notice that she seems to have brought half a library’s worth of textbooks with her. She seemingly picks two at random, and gently places the rest back in her saddlebags, and onto the floor underneath the table.

“So, Bookish. I don’t fully understand the situation you’re in, but I’m told that you’ve had a bit of a gap in your education?”

I shrug, looking down at the floor to hide the little twinge of shame that bites at me. “Yeah, it’s been difficult to force myself to study some subjects…”

“Well that’s only natural.” she says, without even a moment’s hesitation. Mildly surprised, I whip my head up to see an expression of understanding. “If studying was that easy, why would ponies ever need teachers or tutors?”

It’s weird, but hearing her say those words is far different from reading them on a page, or being told them secondhand. Her words flowed as naturally as breathing, and it was clear she believed them wholeheartedly. And so I believe her too.

I don’t realise how tense I am until I let out a breath I’d been holding in for too long. The air is electric with potential, and I know that it’s always best to strike when the iron is hot. So I dare, and decide to take the first step forward.

“Can we start with Equestrian History?” I ask, pointing to one of the two books out on the table.

She smiles, a glint in her eyes. “Certainly.”

“...and she really gets how I learn, right? Like, she even made the battle of brighthearth sound interesting, and I mean–”

Spike puts a claw to my muzzle, stopping my ramble in its tracks. “We get it, Bookish, you like Octavia. Gosh, you’re almost as bad as Twi! Some of us are trying to eat our dinner in peace…”

I blush. I have kinda been talking for a while, and prodding my hayfries reveals that the untouched plate has gone cold.

“Sorry Spike, I got a little bit carried away there.” I sigh. “I really wanted to be telling this to Twi, I guess?”

Spike pats one of my forehooves, and smiles reassuringly. “Hey, I get it. After this long, we both know how she gets when she’s focused on a project.”

I giggle, and finally start tucking into my food properly. Returning home to a mcpones was a welcome treat, if a little unexpected, but definitely speaks to the level at which Twilight is absorbed by whatever she’s currently doing. Celestia knows what it is– probably literally, in this case– but she clearly doesn’t think it’s worth leaving her study over. Not that I’m complaining of course. After a long day of hard study, nothing is better than something with plenty of grease and salt.

A minute or so passes of me shovelling as much food into my mouth as is physically possible until the silence is broken by Spike clearing his throat.

I raise an eyebrow, slowing, but not stopping my eating.

“Hey, Bookish?” He looks away, tracing shapes on the chair with a claw. “If it’s okay… do you want to study together, after we clean up? I-It’s just that, with Twilight so busy, I get a little lonely, and-”

I embrace him tightly. “Of course we can, Spike. I’d appreciate the company.”

I must’ve embarrassed him, because he takes a while to formulate any coherent response beyond a muffled “-fank you…”

Celesita bless you Spike, I don’t know what I’d do without you.

After that, I slow down my pace of eating a little as we finish off our meal, and once we do our minimal clearing up, the two of us go about the rest of our evenings.

I figure I’ll basically spend what’s left of the day reading in my room, and then hopefully chat with Luna once I get to sleep.

As I walk up the stairs though, a sudden impulse takes me. I walk past the door to my room, all the way to the end of the hall, and knock a few times on the door. Silence. A few more knocks, louder this time, and I think I can hear muffled sounds from within. I feel a sudden sense that I shouldn’t be standing where I am, and just as I take a few hesitant steps backwards, the door suddenly bursts open.

Twilight is lying atop a toppled pile of books, both her and the mess having spilled out into the hallway. Frankly she looks like shit, the fall aside- her hair, particularly, is a dead giveaway that she’s been spending too much time in her study.

She gives a sheepish grin, and picks herself up. “Sorry Bookish! I didn’t hear you through the noise dampening enchantments- and ohh, I’ve made such a mess…”

She starts to tidy up the books, and I move to help her. “It’s fine, Twi, but you know, maybe if you let me or Spike in once in a while, this place wouldn’t be…” I trail off, looking into the nightmare of books and papers and dishes inside Twilight’s study, “... such a trip hazard?”

I giggle at my own joke, though no reaction from her. We each put our pile of books back into the study, and we’re left standing across from each other in awkward silence.

“So…. What’s the matter, Bookish? Do you need my help with something?” she asks, smiling awkwardly. “Did your session with Octavia go well? Are you running out of potion cells? Oh! Did you want to do some more magic practice?”

I sigh inwardly. A concern for Twilight being cooped up in her study isn’t one of those options, but is it really alright for me to just outright say that? It’d be weird, right? To come right out and say that I wanted to spend a bit of time with her, who’s ostensibly my guardian while I’m staying in the Golden Oaks Library. But she’s been really busy, so busy in fact that she barely spends any time with Spike. Argh, why is this so difficult?! She clears her throat, reminding me that time marches on as I agonise over my decisions.

“Can you sit and talk with me?” I blurt out. She looks a little taken aback at the request, and I blush bright red. “Um, while we do a little magic practice?” I hastily add.
“Of course we can! I was going to wait a while before I asked you again, but being able to use your magic really is important.”

‘She really can be dense sometimes’, I think to myself, and follow her lead into my room.

A blank dreamscape stretches out before me, vast and white, flat as far as the eye can see, the horizon line blending perfectly with the endless expanse of white above.

Ah, a dreamscape? Then I’m asleep, I guess. I wonder how I can tell? Other than the surreal nature of the place, that is. Rather, the question should be ‘how am I lucid?’

Is this a side effect of so much time spent with Luna, I wonder? She has mentioned a few times that she wanted to teach me a little about dream magic. Could this be some sort of weird test?

I sit down on my haunches, and try to lean my head comfortably on my shoulder. It was easier as a human to sit like this, but it’ll do. Let’s rewind then, what happened today? Or it might be yesterday, I guess, but that’s kinda besides the point. I studied with Octavia, came home to the library, and then… My mind drew a blank. What’d I done after that? I scratch my head, trying to dredge up the thought, when my hoof scrapes across the base of my horn. I click my tongue at the unpleasant sensation. Stupid horn, getting in the way…

Wait, that was it! I went to find Twilight, and practiced my magic again. It was pretty uneventful this time, though rather stressful. She made me wear some sort of stupid ring that limited how much magic I could draw in, and wearing it made me feel like shit. Quite how something so unassuming and small could be so evil I’m not sure, but apparently it was possible.

Nothing else had happened after that, had it? I remember saying goodnight to Twilight, then getting ready for bed, and taking a potion cell… That should be it, I think. I don’t think there’s any gaps in my memory of today, so what’s the explanation for my being stuck in this stupid dream? I slam a hoof against the stupid ground, and it doesn’t even have the decency to react like a proper surface, no shock traveling up my leg at the impact whatsoever.

I grunt in annoyance, and shift to a lying position.

I can usually exert some level of control over my dreams, so that’s always worth a try. I close my eyes, willing the scene around me to change to a meadow on a warm summer’s day. It usually helps if the image is specific, so I focus on each and every detail in turn, from the breeze upon my fur, to the smells of freshly cut grass, and the birdsong echoing from above.

I open my eyes, and there’s no change. Well, not to the dreamscape, that is. Far in the distance, just where I imagine the horizon line ought to be, there’s an equine figure. I can’t quite make out much from here, but it definitely has a dark coat. Maybe a blueish mane?

I stand up, and start trotting over to it. It’s taking a while, but slowly the figure starts to become clearer. I can’t make out much, but I think it’s a stallion, and I think he’s moving towards me too.

Ugh, this is gonna take ages! Stupid fucking dreamscape, stupid walking, stupid–

I blink. In front of me, maybe a few feet away, stands the odd stallion. I blink again, and rub my eyes in disbelief.

Hm. Maybe this place isn’t as unresponsive as I thought?

“No, you were right the first time.” He says, in a voice that’s somewhere between a rough hiss and a musical hum.

What? “I’m sorry, what do you mean?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at the stallion. Something about him isn’t quite right, but what, exactly?

“The dreamscape,” he says, shrugging. “This one’s not yours, so you can’t change it like you usually do.”

Not my dream? Maybe this is some sort of test from Luna. If you’re there Luna, I’m starting to get a little scared, so if you could please just show up, we can laugh over how I reacted.

“Oh, really?” I ask, faking a smile. Let’s stall for time. “So whose dream is this, exactly? Yours?”

He shakes his head. “No, I can’t dream. This is… Well, it’s not really accurate to say any one is dreaming this. It’s…” The figure puts a hoof to its chin, as if reaching for a way to explain the concept. Not unlike Twilight, actually.

“If I had to say this dream belonged to anyone, I’d say it belonged to Equestria. It’s a sort of… connected neutral space, where dreamwalkers can weave together doorways between the dreams connected to it.”

My eyes widen in surprise as he says that. Not from the words he was saying, but because I can finally put a hoof on what about him is so unsettling. His features are completely indistinct. Even this close, I can only make out as little detail as I could when I first saw him off in the distance.

It’s as if my eyes simply recognise the shape of a black coated stallion, and simply refuse to see more. The effect is uncanny, and, seeing it for what it is, I’m even more unsettled than I was before.

“You, though, are no dreamwalker. That’s why you’re stuck here, and why your usual little tricks don’t work.”

He’s smiling, I can tell from his voice. Luna, please, this really isn’t funny.

“You’ve got quite some power in that little filly head of yours, I’ll give you that.” He says, gesturing above my head. Gesturing to my horn? “Your thoughts are practically radiating out from you. You could have quite the future ahead of you!”

He takes a single step forwards, and I flinch. Time to wake up now. Yep, time to wake up.

I scrunch my eyes shut, willing myself to wake up from this stupid nightmare as hard as I can. How did it work in the wizard of oz? Click your heels together 3 times, and… Ah, fuck, I don’t even have heels!

I feel, rather than hear, the figure take another step towards me. And another, and another, and–

---P-Γ-θ-T-Σ-α-n---

I jerk suddenly awake, as if awaking from a long and troubled nightmare, my body slick with sweat. Where the fuck am I?

A tunnel. The place where I always sleep. Which makes sense, now that I think about it. I shake the sweat off myself, hopefully clearing my head in the process. It almost works, too, which is nice. Although, now that my head is clearer, I feel my body demand that I get myself over to the dispensary ASAP.

Walking along the eerily unfamiliar tunnels along the path I know leads to the dispensary, I don’t feel quite right. What is that nagging feeling? It’s not hunger, or thirst, though those are a part of it… I stagger my way along, starved as I am from spending so long asleep.

I’m there now, and I’m rather displeased to see so many others are here too. I can’t make out their features, not even the colors of their coats, but I make my way over to the nearest terminal and take my provisions. I look down at my food, a confusing blur of greens and reds, and my stomach churns at the thought of eating. Ugh, I think I’m gonna be sick… But I mustn’t, what would the others think?

No, I have to maintain the charade for a while longer.

I lie down against the wall, eager for sleep to take me again, but I can’t quite get comfy no matter how hard I try. How could I sleep at a time like this? How could anyone?

I need some fresh air.

The cool air out here feels nice against my body, and looking up to see the empty sky above fills me with a relaxing sense of immediate panic, my heart pounding in my ears, and I sigh in relief. There really is nothing like the wonderful lack of moonlight and the serene grace it casts over the land.

Is tonight the night? There’s nothing more for me here, is there?

I touch a hoof to the sand experimentally, recoiling a little at just how cold it is. Then, more confidently, I take a single step down onto the sand. Then a second, then a third, then a fourth. Then I’m trotting across the dunes, then galloping, fleeing from this accursed place as fast as I can, getting as far away as I can from her, fleeing for what feels like forever, running and running and running and-

---ρ-r-o-π-e-a-η---

“I’ve got her, y’all!” Yells out a voice from in front of me, with a familiar southern twang.

Ugh, my eardrums. Please. There’re nicer ways to get a filly awake, you know.

I open my eyes, wincing at the sudden brightness, and shielding my eyes from the sunlight shining through the trees above me. I… appear to be lying down on the floor of a forest? And towering over me, a tired, but mostly concerned Applejack.

Her eyes narrow in suspicion. Quite what I’ve done to earn her distrust remains to be seen, but I’m sure she’s about to tell me. Hopefully in a speaking voice.

She lowers her voice to a whisper, and says, “Now, ya mind telling me what’s so important ya need to sneak out to the everfree at the crack’a dawn, Bookish?”

Oh.

Author's Note

I’m back to stay, knock on wood. Let’s get to the good stuff.

Hope you enjoyed, and hope you’re looking forward to where we’re going from here!

As always: have a wonderful week, and don’t forget to remember that this story for sure isn’t dead!