One Fell Out of the Apple Tree

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you…!” The crowd of ponies gathered around the table as they sang in sync with the tune. They smiled at the birthday filly. She sat on a throne of gifts. A party hat adorned her head like a King’s crown, and it replaced the usual pink bow. Smiling faces hovered over a pink cake made by the best bakery in Ponyville. The number ten was written in white frosting with ten candles scattered around it. Ten blows for the ten candles. Ten times her family and friends chanted how old she was. Ten balloons. Ten party kazoos whizzing all at once. Ten claps. Ten hoof stomps.

Ten. Ten. Ten.

To think she made it to a decade. Apple Bloom felt like a very big filly, in fact she was sure she grew by a few inches. The group cheered all for her, and she made note of the ponies she saw. Friends from school, mostly acquaintances. Family, she wasn’t all too familiar with, from Appleloosa came, but they tended to swarm Granny Smith like a hive to honey.

Pinky Pie jumped up, excited as ever, and she shouted the loudest “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Known to equine. Then Apple Bloom saw the rest of her sister’s friends. All of them came, even the new princess. From Fluttershy, who brought two gifts, to Rainbow Dash who brought none. Rarity brought Sweetie Belle who both were so very generous.

“A cat?” Applejack said as she cut into the cake. In a warm magical hold was a feline, a tom with midnight fur and a chubby, pouty, face. He was fat. He was yappy. Applejack shook her head. “Ah hate to be dat pony, but we can’t care for no more animals,” Sweetie Belle was then handed a slice of cake. The little filly gleefully took it.

“I assure you he is very low maintenance,” Rarity pleaded her case with her snout held high and her mane bouncing as always. She wore blue eyeshadow on her lids and soft pink lipstick. Apple Bloom found it pretty. Hell, she thought Rarity was one of the prettiest ponies in Ponyville.

Applejack rolled her eyes. She grumbled through a knife handle between her teeth, “With dat fur he ain’t no low maintenance nothin’,” the next slice of cake was passed out. A foal from class took the cake and scoffed it down in such succession that it was impressive. Then the next came, and the next, and they made a line—an impatient one. Everypony just wanted to return to the inflatable bouncy house. Applejack continued to cut regardless.

Rarity still held the cat with magic. It got a good neck scratch which triggered a series of low purs. “I promise. He only needs a healthy diet, and a good brush every day, and he’ll be a joy,” it sounded easy enough.

Apple Bloom got closer to get a better look, and she bounced on her hooves to try and reach the kitty. She too wanted to pet him, and scratch behind his ears, and just cuddle his cute face. “Ohh, AJ! I swear I’ll take care of him! I swear, I swear, I swear,” the puff on her hat swiveled about with each erratic hop. The kitty stared at her with his small, judgemental eyes, and she smiled at him, and his pout seemed to stretch further downwards.

“No can do, Apple Bloom. Now eat yer cake,”

The cold water ran over soft fur, drenching it like a soggy towel, and pricking the skin beneath. Chilly, but it felt nice. Sloppy, goopy, soap trickled down her hooves. She rubbed them together and just listened to the moist sound it made. Sticky strings attached one hoof to the next like a tightrope. It was white and messy akin to the frosting that told the world her age.

Syrup also came to mind. Syrup, and now she wanted to taste it. Apple Bloom wasn’t that silly though. A ten year old doesn’t put stuff in their mouth anymore.

“Hot water gets the dirt out,” a sudden baritone caused the filly to jump. In the mirror she saw the blonde mane of her brother as his snout gently pushed the bathroom door open. He jolted his head as if to shake off a wave of tingles.

“Hot water?” Apple Bloom questioned, but before she could reach for the tap, his larger form stood over her and blocked the ceiling light like a tree for shade. She was on her hind legs leaning over the porcelain sink, and he didn’t even have to raise his neck by a lot to still manage to tower over her to turn the knob. Big Mac pressed against her back, gently, so as not to crush her against the sink. The steady tempo of his heartbeat thumped against her, and the filly laughed. “Oh yeah! Ah heard about that. Hot water,” the hoof scrubbing continued until all the water washed the soap from her fur and down the drain. A mini whirlpool. Big Mac didn’t really move, but she figured he was making sure she was doing it right.

“All done!” Apple Bloom showed him her clean hooves, and he turned the water off. “Do you gotta use it?” The filly wiggled her way from between the sink and her brother. Her rump shook in the air as her hind legs did all the heavy lifting to get her free. The filly popped loose like a winded jack-in-box.

When she went searching for a towel she realized the bathroom door was shut. Right outside Apple Bloom could hear the voices and the music from the party. It was getting dark and soon everypony would have to head home. Maybe drying her hooves could wait until later. “I’ll get out so you can go too,”

Big Mac was so big his flank was pressed against the door. Apple Bloom pushed at his bottom to get him to turn out of the way. His tail playfully flicked her snout and she backed up to sneeze. The motion caused her to tumble on her behind. She sneezed again, and again. A hoof wiped at her runny nostrils. Her nose really wasn’t liking the smell of fresh barley on him.

Her brother chuckled before finally turning to face her. A smile, soft enough to be seen, but not wide enough to be considered a grin. His neck craned behind her. His teeth gripped her scruff and he helped her back to her feet. “Woah der, missy. I’ll get outta yer hair,” There was still a light playfulness in his tone.

It was quite the tease.

So Apple Bloom teased him right back by sticking out her fat pink tongue. She blew a raspberry at him, and her eyes were closed as she did it, so the sudden confusion on why everything went quiet caused a pause. One eyelid flipped open, and Apple Bloom was shocked to still see her brother still standing there. He was staring at her tongue, and now she too tried to stare at her tongue, going cross eyed in the process. “Wha?” The filly questioned with her mouth open wide. “Is somethin’ on me?”

Maybe there was. It would explain the odd look on his face, and his curious breathing. It sure did make Apple Bloom's head tilt. He was so quiet suddenly. So very quiet.

Then he reached for the door, opened it, and held it out for her. No longer was he so playful. “Best be on yer way,”

Apple Bloom raised a brow, but she knew not to question it. Big Mac can be a bunch of fun except, when he was serious. Then he could be scarier than Applejack.

Granny Smith rocked in her chair. She had this thing where she’d mumble to herself, and the mumbling would be a bunch of nonsense. At least to Apple Bloom. There were repeated phrases like ‘Woah there, fella, no need to rush a pie,” and there wouldn’t be anypony around sometimes. Sometimes she’d just say it just to say, and sometimes when Big Mac would help her, she’d absolutely refuse.

“Ah don’t know him,” She’d say to Applejack, and her big sister would help her on her feet. Other times she’d say, “Y’all can’t have just anypony around. You best watch dat one,” and Applejack would often get offended on Big Mac’s behalf.

“Dats yer grandson, Granny. Ain’t you recognize him?” And Applejack would help her into bed as Big Mac carried her walker, and Apple Bloom her basket of crochet. This was a daily routine. Nothing would change except the imaginary ponies she supposed her grandmother saw.

Their granny would repeat it again, “Y’all can’t have just anypony around. You best watch dat one,” and Apple Bloom would look at her brother. Big Mac was good at keeping his emotions a secret. If he was mad there was a good chance no pony would know unless he said something. So when she stared up at his face that night all she saw was the same neutral expression he always wore, but deep down the filly knew it hurt. Granny Smith’s brain never forgot about Apple Bloom, even on her worst days she motioned her over with mints and a smile, and asked how her dear grandfoal was doing.

Now her grandma rocked in her chair. It creaked on the porch. The night breeze blew the grey strands of her mane in her face, but her gaze was so far somewhere else that Granny Smith didn’t appear to notice. The party was weaning down and parents were gathering to pick up the school aged foals. Apple Bloom would wave goodbye from her spot near her grandmother’s feet. There wasn’t much mumbling now. Just very steady rocking.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo approached with painted faces, sticky candy in their fur, and grind bigger than Venus. Fake crystal beads dangled from their necks, and the unicorn wore a plastic tiara on her head. “Guess who I am?” She giggled.

“Lemme guess,” Apple Bloom played along by holding a hoof to her chin. This wasn’t a trick question, yet there was amusement in playing dumb. “A wannabe princess?”

“Close,” Her friend playfully trotted back and forth as if she were a show horse presenting her excellent dynamism. Her rump wiggled coltishly and it garnered more giggles from her friends.

Scootaloo decided to join in, “I know what you are,” and she held her hoof to her mouth to hold back a series of laughter. “You’re a..” another chuckle. “…a..” and yet another. “You’re a bitch.” And it was said so loudly too. Everypony knew you were supposed to whisper a swear word.

Both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gasped. They stared at her then at Granny Smith, yet all she did was continue to rock. It was the farm filly that spotted a certain purple alicorn’s ears perk immediately after Scootaloo swore. Her head shot towards the three and Apple Bloom tried to stand up before she inevitably got in trouble alongside her friend.

“Excuse me, young lady?! Where did you learn such foul language?!” The princess asked, and only then did Scootaloo stop laughing. The filly wasn’t self aware at the worst of times.

Scootaloo turned around only to find long legs and a disappointed frown. The realization that an adult overheard her seemed to have the little pegasus stumbling her words. “I..I didn’t mean it..” her ears fell flat against her head as she shrunk into herself.

“Then why did you say it?” The way the alicorn shook her head made all three fillies feel guilty. It was a finger wag. It was a tsk tsk tsk.

Apple Bloom kept her mouth shut, but she still attempted to create distance between herself and the situation. She was backing up so much that her flank nearly hit the door, when suddenly it flew open, and a group of adults stepped out. Applejack was in the lead, and in the middle of a conversation, when she spotted her friend. “What’s going on, Twi?” She asked, and the two ponies with her approached Granny Smith. Apple Bloom recognized them as the family from Appleoosa. The stallion she knew as cousin Braeburn, but she hadn’t a clue who the soft green mare with him was.

“I caught these fillies swearing at your grandmother,” Twilight didn’t raise her voice, but she continued that head shake that said, ‘Foals these days,’ and what really sucked is the other adults joining in on the head shaking. The disappointment stun. It hurt worse than a nasty wasp out for flesh.

Sweetie Belle was quick to pass the buck. “I didn’t say anything,” Then she pointed at Scootaloo who had her snout on the floor. “She’s the one who said the b-word!”

Apple Bloom stayed quiet. Unlike the unicorn, she wasn’t all too interested in tattling to save her own flank. Plus a word wasn’t that big of a deal. It was bad, but there were worse things out there. It wasn’t until Applejack sharply nipped at her ear did she suddenly stop glaring at Sweetie Belle and Twilight. “Oww!” The filly yelped.

“Now you tell us the truth, ya hear me? Did you call Granny Smith a bitch?” That same stern look Apple Bloom grew to hate was edged all over her sister’s face. She knew she was only acting tough because family was there, and from the corner of the filly’s eye she saw how their cousins practically egged her sister on with their looks.

With her magic, Twilight plugged both Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle’s ears. It was as if they didn’t already know the word, but the princess was a stupid prude. “Please, let us refrain from repeating it, and there is no need for violence,”

“With all due respect, Twilight, lemme handle my household n’ you can handle yours.” Applejack only turned to address her friend for the shortest second in history before she was right back to giving Apple Bloom the stink eye. “Did ya, Apple Bloom?” She asked again.

She didn’t. Scootaloo didn’t either. “It wasn’t addressed to Granny,” the filly mumbled, and she kicked the dirt at her hooves, and she avoided eye contact, and she wished everypony would stop gawking at her. That didn’t seem like a good enough excuse though, and Scootaloo wasn’t pleading her case anymore. Everypony just left it all on Apple Bloom’s shoulder despite her not doing a thing.

“Gon ahead and wait in yer room. I’ll talk to you in a bit,”

The filly almost cried then. She knew there wasn’t going to be any talking, but those were code words for ‘prepare for a spanking,’. Twilight appeared satisfied, either because she didn’t know what it meant, or because she felt like she’d properly scolded them. Braeburn appeared satisfied too, and there was no way he didn’t know what was about to happen.

The princess gave a nod to the two before speaking to the foals. “Come on, we better tell your guardians about this—“

They weren’t going to leave like they didn’t just throw stones and hide their hooves! Apple Bloom did nothing wrong! Why should she get punished on her birthday? How was that fair? “No, AJ..” she cried with fresh tears in her eyes. “…I didn’t even say it,” Her face quickly grew wet and snotty as she was at the verge of throwing a tantrum. “I didn’t!” The filly screamed. “I didn’t say it, Applejack!” She wailed and tugged on Applejack's fur to try and get her to listen.

“Who made my grandfoal cry? What’s going on? What y’all doing to her?” As if shaken out of a conscious coma, Granny Smith stopped rocking and attempted to get on her hooves. She was barely made aware of herself, looking every which way, and mumbling again, but this time as equally angry as Apple Bloom was upset. Their cousins tried to calm the old mare, but now she started swinging.

“Granny Smith it ain’t nothin’” Applejack attempted to soothe her only to have her hat smacked clean off her head. A swift hoof hooked her on the chin, and by now Braeburn and the other nameless cousin were struggling to get her back in her rocker. Her sister held her jaw as a trickle of blood ran down her busted lip. “Apple Bloom, upstairs now,”

Despite granny lashing out also not being her fault, Apple Bloom just knew in her heart of hearts her sister was really going to give it to her now. She bawled even harder, hoping to gather sympathy with her fit. Her cousins looked at her like she was the biggest brat west of Canterlot, and it only made her want to prove them right.

“I’ll take care of it. You jus’ focus on Granny,” the deep steady voice of their brother had both fillies pulling their attention towards him. Big Mac stood at the bottom of the porch with his face painted as a tiger. If this were any other situation Apple Bloom would be laughing her head off, but now she was really struck with fear. If she had to choose between Applejack and Big Mac for a whooping she’d go with Applejack everytime. That wasn’t rocket science, the strength in his muscles could likely tear fur from flesh.

Her sister seemed to catch on to this fact, so she said, “Thanks, but ah got it. You ain’t gotta worry, okay?” And Applejack often left the discipline up to herself.

Granny Smith started kicking even harder when she saw Big Mac. “Did he hurt my grandfoal!? I ain’t gonna stand no demon laying hooves on mine!!” Another stray punch went flying. More ducking and dodging took place.

Breaburn interjected. “Ah think it’s best you do let him handle it,” and of course he was referring to the fact that Granny hated Big Mac’s guts, but something told Apple Bloom that he just wanted her to get a very bad spanking. Again, she never called Granny a bitch, and she’d scream at him if she didn’t think it would only make the punishment worse.

Applejack didn’t think much about it when Granny Smith started flailing about much worse than before. “Go on now,” her head motioned towards Big Mac before once again she gave her full attention to their grandmother. “Let’s get her in the house,”

Apple Bloom stared at her brother, who didn’t look all that menacing, but she thought about him swinging a belt and it made more sobs slip through. She took her sweet time inching towards him. Then she hicced, “please…please don’t hit me too hard,” she tearfully begged with a face as red as his.

“I ain’t gonna hit ya,” when she was close enough, he guided her further away from the house by getting behind her and gently nudging her rump. It was encouragement to keep going. So she did.

Apple Bloom was sniffling like crazy; she could barely speak. “Y-yer..yer not?” They we’re approaching the apple orchard now. Most ponies had already gone home and the evidence of the party lay scattered all over the cut grass. There was no doubt she was going to be made to help clean it up in the morning before school.

“Nope. The hayride, remember?” And he kept leading her down a path.

Apple Bloom tried to calm down enough to comprehend what he was saying, but when she finally did she stopped and wrapped her hooves around her big brother’s legs. “Yes! I remember,” a snail trail was wiped in his fur but he didn’t seem to care. He was the best. The very best in the world. “But everypony’s gone home, and Granny and AJ can’t come,” and still she hiccuped despite no longer crying.

He nuzzled into her mane. Warm breath blowing against her scalp. Below him she felt safe, secure, like nothing in all of Equestria could harm her. His voice vibrated in his throat again and it felt like a calming massage. “Then ah guess it’s jus’ the two of us,”