The Only Mark That Matters

Radish’s mind went fuzzy. His vision narrowed. His skin felt tight. His tail twitched.

He was able to breathe again when Celestia broke the kiss. She looked down at Radish with tears in her eyes.

“I never thought I’d see you again, Radish! I thought you were gone forever!”

“I’m, uh, okay…” he said, gasping.

She pelted his face with more kisses. He felt his muscles relax and his skin go numb.

“Oh, Radish,” she said between kisses. “I was a fool. Can you forgive me?”

Radish managed to scrape enough cognizance together to squeak out, “…for …what?”

She hugged him.

“For rejecting you, of course. Denying you your destiny. For sending you away.”

“Sending me away?”

“Yes. It was the worst mistake I’d ever made in my life.”

Radish felt a bit of his mind sharpen into focus. He met her eyes. “You mean… how it all went wrong?”

She nodded solemnly. “Yes.”

Radish fought to keep the focus. “I’m having trouble remembering everything. Could you tell me what happened?”

“I’ll do better than that. I’ll show you. I’ve replayed it over and over in my head every day since that fateful reunion.”

She sat against the bed’s headboard and pulled Radish to her side. He shivered. She gestured across the room, then projected a large glowing rectangle from her horn. Images played out across it- a movie of Radish, in Courtyard A, as seen from Celestia’s point of view.

“Do you remember this day?” she asked.

Radish squinted. He realized he was watching her memory of the day he applied to the Royal Guard.

“Hello, Ranger Radish Root,” said the Celestia of the past.

“Hello, ma’am,” said the past Radish.

“You’ve come a long way in a short time.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“And now you want to be in my Guard.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Radish watched Celestia’s face as she projected the scene. She had a pained and haunted expression. She silently mouthed the words that the memory spoke.

“You now much more resemble the stallion in the mark.”

“Yes, ma’am. I agree.”

“I believe your cutie mark is leading you on a unique path, and I don’t know what that is. But you’ve made your choices, and I must make one now.”

The view turned to look at the orange tree in the center of the courtyard. It was different from how Radish remembered it. It was withered, gnarled, and bare. Strips of bark were sloughing off, revealing pockmarked heartwood.

“That tree was a gift from the city of Balencia. The soil is different there. The climate is on a different schedule. It turned sickly its first year. My star pupil Moondancer insisted she could find the right soil conditions to allow it to flourish. But try as she might, she couldn’t save it. It didn’t belong here, and thus it suffered and perished.”

The view turned back to Radish.

“You don’t belong here, either. And I will not watch you wither under my command.”

“Princess Celestia, I-”

“But in the Rangers, you are thriving. You have an excellent service record, you have earned medals, and you are well-liked by everycreature you meet. You have found the place where you belong, Radish Root.”

“Ma’am…”

“I will understand if you no longer consider me a friend after this, but I want you to know that I am proud of you, Radish, for building a life of honorable, distinguished service.”

“...thank you…”

"Please, continue to help those in need. You've become a noble steed, and I know it won’t be long before you find the love of your life.”

“Thank you, Princess Celestia. I think I'm ready for her.”

The scene ended and the spell faded. Radish looked up at Celestia. “Then, you never hired me?”

She hugged him.

“No. You went back to the Rangers, back to the plains, and back to a buffalo friend of yours. The two of you were wed within the year.”

“Me and Sky? Married?”

“As an official member of the Black Bluff tribe, you wore paint markings where your cutie marks were. You were free to roam about unclothed, like any other pony. You were happy, Radish Root. And I was happy for you. But then… there was an incident. You were killed protecting the tribe.”

Celestia nuzzled into Radish’s neck. He inhaled sharply.

“You were given a hero's funeral, but I could not bring myself to attend. I’m sorry, Radish. It was all my fault. If I had accepted you in the Guard, you wouldn’t have been put in that danger.”

Radish swallowed. “The life of a royal guard is plenty dangerous, too, princess. You can’t blame every bad thing that happens on yourself.”

“Oh, but so many bad things started to happen after that.”

“Like what?”

“Like the Halcyon incident.”

“Halcyon?”

“A suitor for my affections, with seemingly unlimited power. I sailed away with him to keep him placated. But a few nights into the voyage, he revealed to me that he was a fraud… and that he had no time left in this world. He died apologizing.”

“He died!?”

“Yes. I cremated his body, spread his ashes over the ocean, and returned to Equestria, maintaining his lies. Soon after that, a gang of hoodlums stole a shipment of Guard weaponry and kidnapped Cadance. Her face was scarred badly during her rescue- the glamor magazines don’t print so many pictures of her anymore.”

“Candance got hurt? What about Luna?”

“Luna? Luna never properly recovered from Nightmare Moon. She’s completely withdrawn from the world these days. She won’t even try to use her powers.”

“Luna…”

Radish felt Celestia’s body tense up.

“And in the midst of all those tragedies, Worthy Wagoner had the audacity to step forward and propose marriage. I’m sorry, Radish, but I had to accept when I saw the dowry he was offering.”

“His piece of the sun?”

“Indeed.”

“Then… where is Worthy now?”

Celestia got a far-off look in her eyes. She scowled.

“All he cared about was my body, you see. All he wanted from me was pleasure. So that’s all he got from me. On our wedding night, I gave him all the pleasure I was capable of giving. And it was more than any stallion has ever experienced in a lifetime, focused into a single moment of overwhelming joy.”

“He… you…”

“Is it my fault his heart could not handle it?”

“You… you…”

“Gave him what he wanted. And as his widow, I got everything he had."

“You got the sun shard back?”

“Yes. I freed it from its crystal prison at last.”

She slumped down over Radish.

“But alas, it was too weak to survive outside of captivity. It died in my hooves. And now the sun will be forevermore incomplete.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It was my fault. I failed my cutie mark. Just as I had failed to let you live out your cutie mark. That’s when tragedies happen, Radish- when ponies fail to live the lives destiny sets out for them.”

“Is that why you decreed the IDEA?”

“Yes. To honor you. To make sure that nopony is ever kept from their destiny again.”

“But ponies are unhappy with it.”

“Give them time. They will see how destiny rewards the faithful.” She leaned in close. “After all, is it not destiny’s reward that you have been brought back to me?”

“I, uh…”

“Destiny has given us another chance at happiness, and this time I will not squander it.”

She used her magic to float Radish’s engagement ring up to her face. She smiled.

“I see you brought a gift for me.” She read the inscription inside. “Together, no matter whatever. How perfect. Nothing can keep us apart anymore, not even death itself.”

She kneeled before Radish in the bed.

“I have a gift for you, too.”

She cast a spell, and a small box appeared floating in front of him. She opened it, revealing a diamond ring. Radish stared at it.

“I cannot deny my love for you any longer,” she said. “Radish Root, will you marry me?”

Radish felt as if he had been bucked in the chest. His mind reeled. He knew he couldn’t, but the exact reason why seemed to be eluding every attempt to grasp it.

“But… I love…”

“I love you too, Radish.”

“I’m with… but I’m with…”

“You’re with me, yes, now and forever,” she said. “My handsome, noble prince.”

Radish’s eyes dilated. “Prince?”

“Yes! You and I will sit the thrones side-by-side, as princess and prince.”

A piece of his sanity bubbled up to the top of his consciousness. “Then, I could revoke the IDEA?”

“But of course! Anything you want.”

“Anything I want?”

“Truly. Equestria will be ours to rule as we see fit.”

“Whoa…”

Radish turned the possibilities over in his mind. A tiny voice inside Radish’s head was screaming at him through the noise. He looked at the ring Celestia held again.

“Celestia…”

“Yes, Radish, dear?”

“Yes,” he said, barely above a whisper.

“Oh, Radish!”

She hugged him. She kissed him again. His mind settled into a fog. The tiny screaming voice grew distant and indistinct. He started kissing her back.

“Mmmmm… Celestia…”

“Oh! I have something to show you!” she squealed.

She leapt off the bed and bounded out of the room excitedly, leaving Radish laying face-up in the bed, his sweat soaking into the sheets.

A burst of magic made a scroll appear in the air. It landed in the bed next to Radish’s head. He turned to look at it. Its tag read “To: Princess Celestia, From: Moondancer”.

The entire scope of the past day coalesced into Radish’s attention. He glanced at the door, then opened the scroll and read it.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have news of great importance. According to my very thorough research, the world as we know it occupies a rogue timeline. Our very history is not as it should be. The divergence seems to have stemmed from an “imperfection” in a particular stallion’s magical make-up. To be specific, it is the very same stallion who was caught in Princess Luna’s bedchambers today. I believe we have little time to lose in identifying and repairing this imperfection. Catastrophic time-space events may result from inaction. Please, respond as soon as you read this.

Your faithful student,

Moondancer

Radish frowned. Celestia came prancing back into the room, carrying a chunk of crystal under her wing. Radish held up the scroll.

“This is… uh… you should…”

“Oh, yet another letter from Moondancer? Don’t let her interrupt our special evening.”

She took the scroll in her aura and flung it over her shoulder. Radish watched it go, its significance fading away from his mind as it faded from his view. Celestia held up the crystal in front of Radish’s face.

“Do you recognize it?”

Radish fixed his gaze on it. He did indeed recognize it.

“My cutie mark?”

“It appeared in my private vault this morning, seemingly out of nowhere. I’ve been trying to divine the reason all day.”

“And, uh, what is the reason?”

She grinned. “It’s obvious now. Destiny sent you and your cutie mark back separately, to avoid all the silly social issues it raises. Now there’s no reason you can’t show off your very attractive flanks at our wedding. Our subjects will see you with those equal signs, but in private, we’ll both know that this is your true mark.”

She looked at Radish’s cutie mark and bit her lower lip.

“A mark of love. A mark of passion. I had forgotten how… thoroughly pleasured… I look in your mark. I know it’s tradition to wait until after the wedding, but I’ve waited too long already.”

She placed the crystal on a nightstand next to her bed, then crawled next to Radish and turned around, lifting her tail and presenting her hindquarters. She waved her rump back and forth, giving him a seductive look.

“Take me, Radish. Take me like in your mark. Claim your destiny. Make me your mare.”

Radish’s vision narrowed. His mouth went dry. His fur stood on end.

He mechanically crawled over to her. He swallowed hard.

He heard a small No! Don’t do it! from somewhere inside. He strained to hear it.

You can’t do this! Think of her! it wailed.

Of who?

Your fiancee!

My fiance is right here. I’m engaged to Celestia, just like I’ve always wanted to be.

That is not your fiancee! Your fiancee is-

“Light!” Radish sputtered, the realization hitting him like a bolt of lightning. “Light!”

“What’s wrong, Radish?”

Radish seized his cutie mark from the nightstand and hurled it at the floor. The crystal shattered. The mark flew out of the shards and circled his body, dragging him into the air. It then planted itself on his flanks.

“Ahhhghhh!”

A blinding flash emanated from his restored marks. Radish felt like he had been pressed from both sides simultaneously. He slumped over, feeling aches in every joint.

He lay motionless and insensate. Eventually, a shout roused him.

“What on earth? Radish!? Is that you!?”

Radish creaked his eyes open and looked up. It was Princess Celestia- not in the bed, but standing near the door of her washroom, wearing a pink dressing gown and a towel around her mane.

“Princess Celestia? What happened?”

“You don’t know? You’ve been missing, Radish,” she said, approaching him.

“Missing? For how long?”

“Luna says you vanished right in front of her this morning. The whole castle has been searching for you all day.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“And you turned up in my bed.”

She eyed the crystal shards on her floor.

“With your cutie marks back in place.”

Radish cringed. “I swear, it’s not what it looks like. I think Discord has been screwing with me all day.”

Celestia lit up her horn. “Hmm, you have been teleported here by an unusual force, but it wasn’t chaos magic. It’s almost like-”

“Time-space stuff?”

“Indeed. Radish… have you been time-traveling?”

“Ma’am… it’s a crazy story.”

“And then I just… reappeared here. In the right world.”

Celestia stared at Radish, processing his account. He got nervous waiting for her to respond.

“Uh, I swear, that’s what happened.”

“I belive you, Radish. I’m just sorry you’ve been put through such an ordeal. You seem to endure experiences far beyond those expected of a guard.”

“I’m okay, ma’am.”

“How did you know restoring your cutie mark would restore you to your timeline?”

Radish looked back at his cutie mark.

“Sunset Shimmer said she found something odd in me. I figured it was the unmarking. Moondancer wrote about repairing an imperfection, and that had to mean taking my mark back. It seems for me, having a normal cutie mark is odd, and having an imperfect one is normal.”

“If you’d like to try having it removed again-”

“No thank you, ma’am. It always finds its way back to me. But I don’t understand why my mark appeared in the other Celestia’s vault.”

“Ah. Well, I put it in my vault after Light gifted it to me. I guess it made the jump when you did.”

“Really? Light gave it to you? And you locked it away?”

“I put it in a safe place, where I keep many other treasured things.”

“Well, it's a good thing you did. If it hadn't been within reach, I wouldn’t have been able to restore it.”

Radish sighed, and looked up at Celestia with apologetic eyes.

“Princess, I’m sorry. Despite everything I’ve said about getting over you, despite all the progress I’ve made towards becoming just your friend and guard… it’s clear that I still desire you. I was completely captivated by your- by her charms.”

“Radish, you were lost in another world. Disoriented and alone. You can’t judge your behavior under such extreme circumstances.”

“I knew exactly what I was doing. The second you… uh, she… asked for it, my willpower crumbled. I was putty in her hooves.”

“Yet you had willpower enough to break the crystal and return.”

“It was a last-ditch act of a desperate stallion, and if it hadn’t worked, I’d still be there… with her.” Radish grit his teeth. “I’m weak, ma’am. I can’t trust myself to say no to that temptation again.”

He looked at her pleadingly.

“So, I have to put the responsibility on you. Please ma’am, never show interest in me. Never try to tempt me away from Light.”

“Radish! You think that little of me?”

“No, I think that little of myself. Just one seductive glance from you is all it would take for me to throw away everything I’ve built with Light. To ruin my honor as a stallion. I’m sorry to do this, but please, I beg of you.”

He kneeled on the floor in front of Celestia, keeping his head bowed.

“Promise me that you’ll never try to steal me from Light. I’m not strong enough to resist you.”

Celestia frowned. She lifted his chin with a wing and held her hoof over her heart.

“Radish, I swear upon my crown- no, upon the sun- that I will never try to seduce you away from Light Fantastic.”

Radish breathed a sign of relief. “Thank you, princess.”

“But if you don’t mind me saying so, you look like you could use a hug from a friend.”

“I really could.”

She hugged him. He hugged her back. It felt different from other times Celestia had embraced him- he felt soothing warmth, not enticing heat. Her scent was comforting, not exciting. His mind settled, giving him a chance to sort out his memories.

“Princess- what the other Celestia said about the sun shard… could it really die?”

“I believe the shard had been affected by her mental state- her regrets, her guilt, her despair.”

“She was just so sad. You’re not that sad, too, are you?”

“No, Radish. It sounds like you’ve made all the difference in my life. It sounds like you’ve saved me from a litany of tragedies. And you’ve saved me from becoming a tyrant.”

“Oh, I doubt I’m really that special, princess. I’m sure if any one of your guards got erased from history, a bunch of tragedies would result.”

Celestia chuckled and hugged him tighter.

“Princess, do I have permission to tell Light about all this time-space stuff? I need to explain to her why I have my cutie mark back.”

“Yes. Just don’t get too explicit with the more… salacious details, all right?”

“All right.”

“So, you were how close to fucking her?” Light asked, her forehooves crossed.

“Light, I’m sorry.”

“No, answer the question. In terms of distance, how close were you to fucking her?”

“Like… this far,” he said, holding his forehooves a short distance apart.

“Sheesh, I bet you could feel the heat coming off her!”

“Please don’t break up with me.”

“Radish, you just confessed to not cheating on me, with a mare who technically never existed, in a timeline that never actually happened. I’m supposed to be mad at that?”

“But it was real, Light! Every decision I made, I made for real. How are you okay with this?”

She smirked. She ran a hoof along his flank and pointed to his cutie mark. “See this, Rad? It’s how you came back to me. Other ponies have told me that your mark means you’ll cheat on me with her some day. But now I know it really means you never could.” She hugged him. “I trust you, Rad. And I love you.”

“I love you, Light.”

They hugged. Light leaned her muzzle to his ear.

“But you know… if you need to blow off some steam… I still have that Celestia wig…”

“Oh, uh… really?”

“Come to my place tonight.”

“Okay.”

The bell above the door to Light’s shop clanged. Splash Page had walked in. Seeing them in an embrace, he stepped back.

“Oh, sorry. Did I interrupt?”

“Splash!” Radish exclaimed, trotting over to him. He put a hoof around Splash Page’s shoulders.

“You know, you and I have never really spent much time together. Let’s fix that. I want to buy you a beer and get to know you.”

“Oh? Okay.”

“We can even talk comic books! Just nothing involving alternate timelines, okay?”

“Okay, but that’s, like, all of them.”

Celestia sat on her futon in her study, writing in a large book. A dragon-mail letter from Twilight appeared in the air and drifted down before her.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have something new to report regarding Starlight Glimmer. It is good news, however, Radish will not see it as such. I am struggling to find a way to tell him.

It all started during my lecture about cutie mark magic at your school this morning…

Celestia finished reading the letter. She frowned.

“Oh, Twilight. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Light sighed contentedly as she snuggled into Radish. All over her bed and around her floor lay the frayed, tattered, and sticky remnants of the Celestia wig. She was exhausted, sore, and blissful. Radish slept at her side.

She heard Radish stir. She knew what it meant- he was about to mutter his dreams to the waking world. She leaned her ear to his muzzle to listen.

“Mmm… Light.”

She felt her heart skip. She kissed him, then settled into the bed and went to sleep.