The next morning eventually came to reveal a very hungover, but nevertheless incredibly comfortable Nocturnal Pike. To the thestral, there was nothing better than waking up snuggled deep in the blankets, and-

‘Wait a minute. These aren’t blankets!’

Pike’s eyes snapped open, and she instantly turned beet red. She was currently spooning with Anon.

And she was the little spoon!

‘SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!’

However, that joyous sense of comfort was rapidly drowned out by embarrassment. A voice in her head, one which sounded far more like her mother than she liked, spoke up. "Now I don’t care how cozy it is! Only little fillies and stallions little-spoon!"

‘Oh Luna, I can’t let my mom down!’

Delicately, Pike started trying to wriggle out of Anon’s big, strong forelegs. Sure it’d be easy enough just to flex and burst out, but if he woke up and saw her like this... it would be the most mortifying thing she’d ever experienced! She couldn’t let it happen!

Pike intensified her wriggling. She could feel it: she was almost out!

‘Just a little more…’

‘Come on!’

She suddenly felt his breath whispering in her ear. "Leaving so soon?"

A few moments ago...

A mildly hungover Anon was waking up from the most comfortable sleep of his life.

So comfortable, it almost negated the hangover!

‘Man, ponies really were made for snuggling.’

After arriving at Pike’s last night (and discovering she did not, in fact, even know what an Xbox was), she’d rapidly ushered him onto her bed, and immediately attempted what could have been the most impressive sex act he’d ever seen1: A triple back flip, onto his dick.

Or, at least it would have been, if he hadn’t been way too drunk to be aroused. As it was, she’d essentially just done a triple back-flip right into his arms.

‘Forelegs Anon, forelegs! Only minotaurs have arms, and if you start calling them that around her she’ll look at you weird!’

He at least had the good sense to immediately close said forelegs around her once she’d landed, leaving the two of them in the perfect position for cuddling—which he promptly did. After some protests from Pike (which she could’ve admitted were pretty weak), the two of them quickly passed out in the same position they’d just woken up in.

A position he could feel Pike squirming like a worm in, no doubt trying to weasel her way out...

"Leaving so soon?"

Pike could feel the grin in his tone. "Last night you seemed so keen on being the little spoon, little mare."

‘Oh Luna defend me.’

The batpony was radiating embarrassment like Celestia’s sun radiates heat.

She couldn’t remember how it had come to this. At least if they’d had sex, being the little-spoon would be just one small, easily overlooked thing. But from the current lack of a sticky mess at her hindquarters, it was clear she’d had no such luck. Pike got spooned, and she didn’t even get a lay out of it! She'd be hanging her head in shame if her current position weren't so darn comfortable!

...And comforting.

But all good things must come to an end.

With a blush still threatening to overtake her face, Nocturnal Pike pushed the rest of the way out of Anon’s forelegs.

But all was not lost!

She could still salvage this!

'C'mon, Pike! Mares don’t get embarrassed!'

“Pffft, horseapples! Come on, I need water and an aspirin. And I know if I need one, you must need at least two.”

In response, the smuggest smile ever plastered itself firmly on Anon’s face. ”I don’t knooow Pike, this bed is awfully comfy. You sure you don’t want to fall back into my ar-forelegs?”

‘Ok now he’s just making fun of me.’

She was just about ready to show this colt what for, when—

”Ahh, I’m just fucking with you. Yeah I could definitely use one aspirin... and some breakfast. Ooh, ya got any eggs?”

Pike’s eyes widened just a tad. Disregarding his weird accent, he really WAS a janefilly. She couldn’t even remember the last time a stallion admitted to “just bucking with her”. She smiled, knowing her maresculine pride was safe for now. “Yeah I think I do, you go ahead and get started, I’ll grab the aspirin.”

Anon let out a snort. ”Me? HA! Hope you like ‘em scrambled!”

Nocturnal pike looked down at her plate, poking at the scrambled eggs with a fork.

‘These... aren’t great.’

What kind of life had this colt lived to where he can barely cook eggs? Sure, they were perfectly edible, but, where was the flavor? Did he only add salt?

Anon was oblivious to Pike’s musings, as he busied himself in gleefully drowning his eggs with hot sauce, as he’d likely planned to do from the start.

She looked at him quizzically. “I thought unicorns hated spicy things?”

He snorted. ”Maybe these fru fru Canterlot cretins! I, on the other hoof, am a connoisseur! As spice is the spice of life!” With that, he shoved a forkful of what she was pretty sure was just 90% hot sauce in his mouth. ”Ahhhhh, MMMM, man that hits the spot!”

Since Pike likewise desired to actually be able to eat her meal, she grabbed the sauce herself.

‘Huh.’

It seems he’d managed to grab one of her imported, Thestralian hot sauces. Sure it was the milder one, but it was still no joke! That unicorn really could handle his spice! And yet, it made the fact he made such flavorless eggs all the more surprising.

Pouring enough to supplement the flavor onto her own plate, Pike too began eating.

For a while, the meal passed in comfortable silence. Normally, right around now was when the stallion would start asking the inevitable hard questions and making assumptions, like, ”what comes next for us?” Or, ”I hope you realize I don’t just snuggle anyone I meet at the bar.” But she didn't hear anything out of Anon.

Well, except for the sound of panting from across the table.

Glancing up from her eggs and taking a closer look at Anon’s face, she could see the telltale signs of the sauce getting to him. His eyes were starting to water, his nose had begun to run, and he was panting with increasing frequency.

‘Looks like that cocky attitude he had when he woke up is landing him in trouble.’

Of course no gentlemare would leave a stallion to suffer, so she’d grab the milk from the ice box and...

‘...Wait.’

‘No…’

A sadistic smile crept onto Pike’s face.

Normally she’d never dream of doing something like this to a stallion… but after last night’s (immediately spent on cider) winnings, she was in a betting mood. And a bet she'd take, is that this stallion was more of a janefilly than any janefilly she’d ever met before.

With an aura of pure smug, Pike pointed to the icebox. “Milk’s in there.” Anon promptly stood up. “...IF you’re a little bastard.”

She saw a brief look of shock on his face, immediately followed by his steely gaze meeting hers. He slowly sat back down, smiling through the obvious pain.

“I,” he panted, “don’t need it.”

Anonymous needed it.

He really needed it.

But he was not taking it.

Much to his surprise and joy, it seemed his initial feelings were right: Pike COULD hang! But now she’d thrown down the gauntlet. Well, he wasn’t about to let her, or himself, down. He may have been feeling his taste buds dying, but was not moving from his chair.

Nu uh. No way.

‘...’

‘...Fuck that’s hot. Quick, gotta find some way to distract myself.’

‘Ah ha! I’ve got it!’

“So, Pike,” Anon panted out. “You mentioned that you’re, phew, you’re a night guard, right? Shouldn’t you be asleep right now?”

There was so much smugness radiating off of the thestral right then it could have given him radiation poisoning. If this was her revenge for his earlier teasing, he’d better watch out around this mare.

”Well, normally you’d be right, but if you remember from our conversation last night, my squad and I work the evening transition shift. So about 1800 to 0200 hours. And seeing as how we’ve woken up at around...” She glanced at the sun out the window. “Around noon, so I’d say I’m right on schedule. Even if I didn’t have this weekend off. Hmmm, what about you, Anon?”

‘Fuck, now I have to think instead of just focusing on her voice.’

”I’m a, phew, oh lordy, an investigative journalist. My boss doesn’t care when I’m up, as long as the articles get written.”

That seemed to catch Pike’s interest. “Oh?”

“Yeah, they saw the question mark on my flank and,” he panted. “They just gave me the job. Guess they thought it means I’m good at asking questions.”

A look he couldn’t quite decipher crossed Pike’s face as she leaned over to look at his cutie mark.

“Are... are you not?”

Anon took a breath. “I mean, kinda? I think I’m just more pushy than the average pony.”

With that, her smirk returned in full force. ”Yeah I can definitely see that”

‘Damn. She’s got me cornered.’

With the state he was in, Anon was in no condition to fire back. “Haaaaa yeah. I’ll have you know,” he panted. “If my mouth wasn’t giving me the third degree right now, I would certainly, have a witty rebuttal,” he gasped. “For that.”

That pushed her over the edge, and the two of them burst out in laughter. Although Anon’s was far weaker, and cut with panting gasps. In between chortles, Pike got up and grabbed the milk herself. As she poured the two of them their glasses, Anon knew his salvation was at hand. A silent toast passed between the two of them, and by the time she’d taken her first sip, he’d downed his whole glass.

Sweet relief.

“Phew, God, what was that?”

Grabbing the bottle, Pike read off the back. “Crafted specifically for authentic Thestralian cookouts: this is the sauce that made Scorched Pepper, creator of the Scorch scale, weep. As such, she clocked it at over two million Scorch Units: enough to make a grown earth pony cry!”

Pike glanced back up at Anon. ”So, you did pretty well, as a matter of fact.”

He took his first deep breath in minutes. “Jesus, scary sauce. Takes a little while to... to really hit you, ya know?”

She just smirked. ”I could tell.”

The two of them lapsed into silence again for a moment. However, this time Pike was the one to break it, albeit with a chuckle, as opposed to Anon's own, previously pained breathing. ”And here I thought every stallion knew his way around a kitchen.”

‘Ha!’

“Well Pike, you’ve never met a stallion like me.”

This prompted another burst of laughter. ”Buck, I sure haven’t!”

Author's Note

1. Outside of a computer screen, it was the only sex act he'd ever seen.